The Centre reporter. (Centre Hall, Pa.) 1871-1940, December 24, 1884, Image 7

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A BIT OF EXPERIENCE.
I have met with a good many people
In jogging o'er life's varied way:
I’ve encenntered the clever, the simple,
The crabbed, the grave and the gay;
I have travelled with beauty, with virtue,
I have besa with the ugly and bad,
I have Mughed with the ones who were
merry. : :
And wept with the ones who were sad.
Oue thing 1 have learned on my Journey
Ne'er to judge one by what he appears,
The eves that seem sparkling with laughter
Oft battle to keep back the tears.
Aud long. sanctimonious faces
Hide often the souls that are vile,
While the heart that is merry and cheerful
fs often the freest from guile.
And I've learned not to look for perfection
In one of our frail human kind,
In hearts the most gentle and loving
Some blemish or fault we can find;
But yet i have ne'er found the creature
So low, so depraved, or SO mean,
But had some good impulse, some virtue
And, we, I have learned that most friend.
ah
We make are as brittle as glass,
Just let a reverse overtake us
Our “friemds’ on the “other side’ pass,
But, ak! I have found some few loyal—
Some hearts ever loving and true!
And the joy and the peace they
"
have
a cosy establishment, quite unpreten-
tious, but fitted up with every conven-
jence, and most delightfully situated.
| Here the Professor rested from his
{ labors, and forgot the dead languages,
| and the long-vamshed past in the en
{ joyment of the present beauty. His
| perament which finds its choicest rest
| In constant exercise, flitted from one
| point of interest to another, and grew
| light.
this vacation had flown by, when the
guest-chamber with a face upon which
was written the deepest annoyance,
“Now we are in the nine hole, Fran-
ces, ’’ she said.
ceived a telegram containing news of
the death of a fifteeth cousin.
remonstrances and all my offers to in-
crease her temporal store. The presi
dent of college will be here to
dinner to-day, and all the sweetness of
my nature has turned to gall. I told
Lambeth
He always has to be catered
this time,
down to a table like a
to-—can’'t sit
brought me
Have cheered
through.
me my whole journey |
RTI RT
MUSH AND MATHEMATION
“There are a few things that 1 can
comprakend, but how a woman can like |
to putter with flour and sugar, and gra-
vies and salads, etc., is as far beyond
any intellectual conception of mine as
the drumpung together of universal |
atoms or the action of
the waters, or the geliin
moon herself,’
The speaker, Mrs. Loul
wife of Ress S
Greek in - appeared so
much mm earnest as she wonderingly
surveyed her friend, who had acknowl-
edged a liking for domestic pursuits,
that the latter lady could
from a hearty langh. i
“You don’t mean to tell me,” Mrs,
Stapleton added, ‘‘that you like
potatoese’’
“No, I do not,” her companion re
sponded. *‘I do not like to prepare any
vegetables for cooking, But I would
rather do that than not cook at all.”
” exclaimed Mrs, Staple.
“Why under the sun have you
ne
it
taple
"
college,
LO peel
*Y ou goose!
ton.
pot married, then, instead of teac
the higher mathematics for a
‘My dear Mrs, Stapleton, you speak
as if I could have been marred had I
been so inclined. I have almost
gotten, it isso long azo, but in my
1t was the fashion for men to elect what
manner of women they should m
their wives.”
“The professor wondered about that
pate vesterday, and he has speculated
more than enough about the clam soup
you made before we came up here”
Mrs ton re ingl
tirely ignoring her companion’s pleas-
antry. *‘But l promised you 1 wouldn't
and wild borses couldu’t drag it
tain
Ei iil
1 el ? 2
IArged , Bl
tell,
out of me, though 1 confess that tame
horses might, if 1 thought it wise for
Ross to know. But the very first thing
he would say would be some x like
this: ‘But, my child'—did yon ever
notice that professors of dead languages
alwars address their wives as children?
—everything sesms so young that isn’t
very old, you know—‘but, my child,
why don’t you learn to make clam soup?
A ptate like that we had theother day
would be very nice occasionally.” No,
ma'am, 1 have brought my husbas
very well so far, and in a case of «
gency it would come a good deal more
natural to him to go tothe kitchen than
expect me to. You see, Frances, that
such a well-organized establishment
must be perpetuated. Clam soup and
pates must not be allowed to disturbus
harmony. But, all the same, as 1 re-
marked before, I cannot understand
bow a woman can like cook,
Haven't 1 beard you say that you like
to teach aloo?’
“The last liking is quite secondary
to the first,’ Miss Lyman replied. *‘But
I can make more money teaching the
higher math matics that 1 can as a
cook. Then, too, the cook would han-
ker now and then for the library and
the drawing- and an indulgence
of such desires would be fatal %to
position. Noithe only waythat I can
manage Lo enjoy this talent is by cook-
ing in the Kk tchens of my friends, as
you axe kind enough to allow me to do |
once in 4 while.”
Frances Lyman’s face was of the
speaiiing order. Her large gray eyes |
shone ¢ stars, and her mouth was |
certainly made for smiles, if not for |
kisses. Her voice was low and rich,
and she spoke so slowly thal she was
not infrequently accused of affectation |
by those who did not know her. There |
was nerve strength about this woman, |
a moral and phyaical tone, which con- |
trasted strongly with the quick, bril- |
liant style and chic of her companion, |
“You ean cook us much as you please, |
my dear—provided—-"" Mrs, Stapleton |
replied. ‘Why, Frances, my mother’s
French cook cannot hold a candle to!
you, and beside the professional beauty
that graces my kitchen you are as the
Hight of the noon day sun to the flicker-
ing flame of a tallow dip.
you learn to do these things?” |
“(iiven a talent, the rest is simple
enough,” Mrs. Lyman answered. “But!
seriously,” she added, after a pause, ‘1 |
am sometimes disturbed by the thought
that it may perhaps be wrong to hold «|
true talent in subordination to some |
thiug net » sacred.’
“Hut you are surely a succession
teacher,” said Mrs, Stapleton. :
“In the positive degree; and this ¥
think is antirely dae to areflection fron
the real talent, I bring to my scholars
the element of domestigity, whieh sll
young people are quick ta detect. If a
class-roou: fs homelike and a téac
sympathetic, that will wake up |
considerable degree for deficient
talents,’ :
Cook, teacher, philosopher,” la
ed Mrs. Stapleton, And much|the
wonder grew, that one smail head
carry all she knew. ’’
The conversation took place in
Stapletor’s country
thin
$
[8
ITH,
the
what is put before
make beds
and
I
him, could and
we Lin
be of a man’s disobedience,
' she added, as he:
mirth could no longer |
ut I think such behavior
is actionable, Ha
pair of
ause
iy
and
eeded only a
oln wings to
Now a
would be more appropriate.’
ot me tell you what to do,”
said Miss Lyman, calmly. “Your dis-
comficure is my opportunity, you
We are told that ‘there never wasa loss
without some gain, and baving d i
strated this statement to be
long ago tendersd my allegiances
doctrine
“I don’t see what bearing th
trine sompensation upon
particular muddle,” Mrs. S apleton re-
plied. “W perhaps be able
hire an idiot in this benighted neigh
BOO! hat is the best we can do.
ws about to advise,” Miss Lyman
remarked, “that you have the horse h
nessed as quickly as possible, and ther
drive round the village, and bring hon
as intelligent an idiot as you can
How long sident L
stay?
“Four days
“Find
“Pleas
0,
3 * *
OL COMPensasion,
©
of has
¢ might
jiot
snbeth
four dread ful days,”
an wash dish-
'
3 3, and I
with you while
. because I shall be obliged
Proper)
The
WUTrSes Are
On
PO,
Hever
wred ar brought
need not even see
“Why, 1 will submit tos
an arrangement as that in world. »
Mrs. Stapleton protested. ‘* What would
? Why, don’
ha thing, IL
Cn
the
ii
on
t you seo that even
would
208s Say
if 1 could permit suc
when I tell you that I would
infinitely prefer to spend four days in
your kitchen than in any other way that
I ean think of, will you not manage Lhe
professor —you Ki well how to do
greatest pnivi-
WwW SO
this—and grant me th
lege of my own life?
“Frances Lyman, you are a—a—an
egregious goose, and you really must
excuse me: but the statement of your
preferences has very much the same ef-
fect that the story of Jack and
used to have in my
én
+s
upon me
bean stal
younger days
of it."
t
the K
ing me at my word,” her companion
responded
“Poetic justice that,” said Mrs, Sta-
pleton, laughingly. “Well, I"'llsen, 1
suppose 1 can coax Ross; only he'll say,
‘Why. my dearest child, you ought to
know how to do these things yourself.’
And here's the rub, Frances, Such a
notion would never enter his dear old
it there,"
“Mrs. Stapleton, if your husband has
that kind of head no such idea will ever
strike it unless it is first written in cy-
plier, and you are not the woman
take all that So please calm
your mind, and leave your Kitchen and
your husband to me. I promise that
po harm shall coma to either, or to your-
self.”
0
troubdie.
of your kitchen, but 1 was never so
well treated in my life before, You
tell me that this cook 1s only with you
is engaged after she leaves here?”
rephed,
| “My wife will ind out and let you
| know,” he said.
| superior sort of person, in every res
informs me.”
“Good taste, skill, quickness of per-
nevolence,” said the president, ‘‘arc
| woman’s distinguishing qualities,”
| *“That’s Fauny to a dot,” the hostess
| observed, appreclatively.
“Yes, and the ability to perform such
anybody,” the guest went on.
up body and soul to the stew-pan and
the mush pot?” Mrs. Stapleton respond-
ed in her quick, impetuous fashion.
“Ample time, I should think,” said
the professor, blandly, who never knew
whether his wife was really annoyed or
feigning to be so. It might require a
little patience to teach a servant how to
do these beautiful things,’’ he contin-
ued: “but once taughte"’
“Yas, once taught,’’ his wife Inter-
ipted, a little snappizhly, her
yught, **vou would have the pleasure
of beginning all aver again with anoth-
rreenhiorn who was anxion
and Iam iinted
genus Bey
“Bat et
adding
§
ast
PE
i wr
IRAE,
Ors
edged
E33
time.” {he hosts remarked
lashing and
‘““‘that this theory
theories, professor, 18
Y our dinner
eyes
3 8 Co
MOK,
‘ verybods
Suppose, in
' ¥
s, M
a g.
but t
teat
ny own dresse
that's more than Fano
can play you }
on & pach 1 ca
nosiery.
You
8 aod 1m
asleep
forget one
il you possess
pl, Who was
than when
“Do not i
guest remarked laughingly. ‘She un-
derstands its value only too well”!
This conversation was duly reported
to the cook, whose keen enjoyment of
the fun was very grateful to her friends.
“Frances, I have forestalled
husband of mine,’ Mrs. Stapleton
marked. “He knows now that It is as
much as his life is worth for him to tell
me that he wishes I would learn Ww
cook.’
Miss Lyman’s smile deepened, and
she turned away to hide it. In the pro-
fessor’s frequent visits to the Kitchen,
ntertained
sallios
ver more e
listening Lo her
lieve te profe 0T, the
[-
wish his wife would learn to
some of these dishes, and she was con-
was only postponed,
er of the higher mathematics in
college was duly installed as cook in
Mrs. Stapieton’s kitchen. This lady
|
everything moved smoothly in Miss
Lyman’s particular province,
The professor who seemed to see con-
siderable fun in this arrangement, got
i
i
|
comfiture of his wife, who professed to
her domestic peace.
“I told you just how it would be,”
Mrs, Stapleton sald to her friend; ‘‘but
if that man ever says to me, ‘Child I,
would learn to do these
things.’
may depend upon it."
The dyspeptic and overworked presi-
dent was so enthusiastic In regard to
the various dishes that were prepared
expressly for him that he never ceased
smarkable caterer to a weak digestion,
made into symmetrical balls, and broii-
ed to a turn, brown bread, cream gruel,
eription-—indeed, these last were of
such an uncommon quality, and were
guished guest, that Mrs, Stapleton re-
quested her cook to desist, for fear that
garden and strolled along till he reach-
ed the kitchen door. The cook, array-
charming view. She had just comple-
held in her hand a volume of Taine’s
[deal in Art.
ing footsteps until she was suddenly
confronted by the dignified figure of the
college president, It waa too late to run,
and so the cook bravely stood her
man’s glance,
President Lambeth?’ Miss Lyman in-
quired, demurely, *‘‘I hope there was
nothing idiosyncratic about that ?”’
The président removed his glasses,
drew his hand across his eyes, shaded
his mouth a little to hide the mirthfal
puckers that hedged it about, as a
frame around a picture, and then, posi-
tively unable tocontrol himself another
laughter, in which the cook was fain to
join.
last, “and 1 was hoping that as you
duce you to keep on making mush for
“You have shown excellent
went on to say.
pleton to bring some middlings up with
Don’t forget, sir, that the mush
middhings.”’
“And yet it never could be called
mush,” the gentleman
sponded, and execrable pun though it
was, both mush-maker and mush par
Just before ge midday meal the ori-
inal cook retdrned, and Frances Ly-
teacher of the higher mathemati s
in . college, faultlessly arrayed, her
sunny face than ever,
formally presente Presid
wi
fad,
ent
—_—
purity in WwW
“So far true 4)
S10 y £61 A pure unj
kine in fact, they
teration
#1
sid the
droppis
™ pile
ME INPOTLG Ww
vintage inst
#0 cheap {
o adulterate ther
of it. They have U
grape and that may be
flavor to palates that as
‘doctored’ imported
ly all the wines (mport
American Wines
French houses and
aE are
bit
he
1. a
Ee Pt lavor of t
an sual
send the
Why. near.
from France
manipulated by
it back here to be
The French
doctors’ in
unn
" to
17
ull,
Are
oo»
sold al enormous prices,
are the most expert
the world. Hon Morris once
told me that wi was United
States Minister to Turkey he was invi-
ted on 8 certain occasion 0 inspect a
large wine rectifying establishment, at
Cette, France. Cetle is a little seaport
miles away from the vine-grow-
ing districts, and yet it 1s famous for its
wine-making houses The manager
asked Mr. Morris what brand of wine
‘wine
Jovy
s ha
¥
| oH
en 3
own, ie
how speedily and successfully be could
and produce it. Mr. Morris
asked for Veuve Clicquot and
minutes a bottle was placed before him
the famous champagne that he confess-
od his inability to tell the difference. It
past in the operation.
“That's the sort of
they could buy absolutely pure native
tive makes-—and when that’sdone, it's
likely somebody over here will find a way
to adulterate our own wiaes profitably.
of course, for it’s an age of adulteration
nd wines can hardly escape.’
: “ ALA Ar
Cities in the Moon,
Dr. Blandman claims to have discov-
§
he remarked one morning at breakfast.
after having ken of the improved
state of his health, due to the excellent
treatment he had received at the hands
of tis “wonderful concoctor of mush.
os.’ as her hostess was wont to call ber.
Catskill mountains, where
spending their Nt
“for saying so much about the genius
that had become so interesting to him,
ited. A statement of the chemical
of obligations?’
President Lambeth
ed his myoplan glasses and surveyed his
companion. The result of this exami-
most amusing to the cook.
face flushed painfully. ‘I am sare I
have.”
“Only in one way,” Miss Lyman re-
plied, serenely. *1I am Fanuy, the
est obligation to me.”
Taine's [eal in Art, The book was
so held that the peatieman could easily
read these words, and his eyes seemed
glued to the volume, No true woman
could fail to enjoy such a condition of
aifairs.
“It has all been very odd from the be-
with a cu-
ginning,” said the
‘siaile, which ns if t
but 1s too elaborate
The scientific world
regards the story as a hoax—an imita-
tion, In fact, of the yarn gotien up by
Adam Locke, and published in New
York some thirty-five years ago, It is
known, with almost absolute certainty,
without moisture and has no atmos.
phere. lu times past, ingenious story-
tellers have given accounts of the moon
and its inhabitants, A writer named
North, some years ago, evolved a plau-
sible theory on this matter.—He said a
photograph of the moon would reveal
all the hidden secrets of its surface, if
properly taken and manipulated. The
photograph, he alleged, could in time
made to yield the secrets of moon
and stars, for it undonbtediyjreproduces
everything on their surface. Our eyes
and instruments are imperfect. but
pr—————————L
Prolonging Late.
and Roman periods, we find the idea of
| prolonging life prevalent, The Egypt-
longevity, and they
be prolonged
through the efficacy of sudorifics and
ametics sontinually nsed,
as an ordinary salutation, they inquired
of each other, “How do you perspire?’
| at least two emeties during each month
Hippocrates and his disciples recom-
and well-timed exercise, which was cer-
| tainly a step in the right direction.
Ficinus, in his “Treatise on the ’ro-
| fongation of Life,” recommended all
| every seven years. thereby to avert any
danger which might threaten then,
During the year 1740 an individual
| of Leipsic a book entitled. “The Pro-
longation of Life” in which
strongly urges all persons desirous of
| longevity to be their guard every
years, because 5
planet, ruled at thess periods,
srding to the teach
gv, metals w
0 Of
REVEenD
4
23. C0 i
believed
CONE with the
no doubt, IU was
mate planets,
amulels
8 originated; reputed
olonging Hie % Nisei-
wd had antaletg rnd talis-
proper metal
Liat
A Ls,
ynd un-
it the m
i 3 the conceplion
tics and lmposters were,
their success.
example of
t il
and Mm
wmed by the
peri
‘1 i ¥
on
pers
F
jens regarding the I prolonga
exisience, He regarded life as
atinually consumed by
atmosphere, and
that by retarding vital
waste and renewing the bodily power
from time to time, life be length-
- ”
ened,
With the ob LOI prevenuin undo
external vital waste, he advised cold
hing by friction. Tranquility of
mind, cooling food, with the use
opistes, he advocated as the most suita
ble measures for lessening internal con-
sumption.
Furthermore, he proposed to renovate
first, by a spare diet
athartics; subsegquent-
y, through choice of a refreshing and
succulent diet. ‘With some degree of
modification. there seems to bs much
wisdom in his views, excepling as re-
| gards the use of opiates, which are
jecidedly of a prejudicial nature.
The plan of “hardening’’—based up-
on a false supposition that by toughen-
ing the physical organs they would wear
longer obtained al one time numerous
| followers,
| When we reflect that the main princi-
| ple of life depends upon the pliability of
every organ, combined with free circu-
lation, it naturally follows that rigidity
must be unfriendly to longevity.
Perpetual cold baths, exposure to
| keen air, and exhausting exercise, were
i advocated by the “‘hardening school.’
| Like most enthusista, they carried their
| ideas to excess, a limited use of which
would have been beneficial.
Later on, a theory well suited to the
| idle and luxurious gained many adhe-
| rents—namely, to retard bodily waste
| by a trance-like sleep.
One enthusiast, Maupertuis, went so
me Deng «
the surrounding
ccd
1d
he
ence concil
the nhiact of
Yond
11a
of
life periodically
combined with «
i
1 #
i ¥ 5
completely suspending vital activity.
| The mmsconception of this theory, from
a physiological point of view, is al once
| self-evident, as want of exercise is sim-
| ply poisonous to health,
§
i
sin A II VSI
Wages of Sorvants,
In 1870 there were 1,075,000 domestic
000
Margeilles $6.75; in Chicago $14. Wa.
ges of cooks in Liverpool average $9; in
Chicago $20. The consular report in-
dicates that the average paid to all ser-
vants of this ¢lass in England is about
country, while the wages are somewhat
lower than at Chicago or in other large
cities, the average ix at least $15. If
we vuppose that there are mow 1,200,
000 employed in this country, their wa-
im about $216,000,000, At. the
Singlish rate of wages these same peo-
ple would earn about $113,000,000, At
the French rate of wages these same
people would earn about $00,000,000,
sims AAI ss
Geatitade and hope should make ns
faithful and fruitfal,
{ The Woraan Farmer,
“Yes, ray husband has been dead
| 15 years,” said an old lady to your cor-
| respondent, “and 1 have run the farm
| ever since myself, and, in fact, I have
| had the whole care of it for 21 years,
| for within a year of our marrage, my
| husband had a stroke of paralysis that
| left one side entirely useless, and it is
over a score of years since we moved
{ here,”
| It was an old lady of Kennebec coun
| ty, Me., who made the above statement
i and she seeined to see nothing remark-
| able about the fact that she, entirely
unaided, should be running a farm of
sixty acres, in spite of her three score
| years and ten.
“Do you do the whole work your.
| self?”
“Yes, almost all,” she replied. “I
| never hire by the month, but in the
| busiest season I hire a man to help by
the day m haying and such work.”
“Do you take care of your stock
yourself?"
“Oh, yes; but I have not as much
stock as I had formerly, having sold
many, including as fine a stock bull as
they had in the county.”
“Do you take the daily papers?’
“No. I can find all the lies I want to
in the ordinary story and religious pa~
without my head with
made up every day.”
“Are you not lonely in
ot “i
Fe porier. I
pestering
iP ONes
the winter?"
your
yu must
notace
f and 3
ple seem take
print for gospel.
peighbors
they both de~
fo Finally
notions printed ina
i the other fel
kuowing whose i
ig he had ie
ome and followed
called a
it in print,
10 see the
al
Weert
he wan he bad
arise Ee Saw
I ying iB
he added.
iter walked out to the door,
st thing that altracted his
a tombstone in front of
was about toask if it
this certainly unusual
particular request of some
n und dear relative, when he noticed
that a ring was passed through the top
f the marble stone and that it served
he purpose of an ordinary hitching post
*herefore he forbore he should
1 a forbidden topic, and even the
nts did not elicit any infor-
ibject of the sepulchral
Everything about the
localism, was in apple-
t as one might ind the
farm of an old farmer, with able-bodied
sons to help him,
©
1
jest
np A
Harvest of the Year.
January is a busy time in New Zea-
land, the South Sea Islands, Uruguay,
and sees harvest ended in Australia and
Central South America,
February sees harvest time begin in
Upper Egypt and India and continue
until April.
March fs the time of harvest in lower
Egypt, the Barbary states, Arabia, Ca-
bul and Indo-China,
In April the sickle is gleaming in the
harvest fields of Syria, Cyprus, Persia,
Asia Minor, the Jonian Isles and Mexi-
00,
May enlarges the number and sees
oil, wine and corn harvested in Asia
Minor, Greece, Sicily and Morocco; in
Texas, Florida, China and Japan, har-
vesting begins.
June sees the harvest gathered in
Spain, Portugal, Italy, the Danubian
Provinces, California, Kentucky, Kan-
sas, Virginia and the Carolinas,
In July the harvesting begins in New
Ingland, the northern middle States,
Upper Canada, and the northern line of
States from Ohio to Oregon, the middle
and southern English countries, France,
Germany, Austria, Northern Italy,
| Hungary, Poland and Switserland.
August sees the ingathering in the
rest of the England, the Netherlands,
Denmark, Central Russia; Manitoba
and Lower Canada.
September 18 the harvest month in
Scotland, Scandipavian and Northern
Russia: in France buckwheat is har-
vested, the corn in New England and
the middle English countries. In Octo-
ber, wheat, oats and barley are gathered
in Scotland and Sweden, and apples and
pumpkins in the northern States.
November rules Peru and Brazil,
| 8puth Africa and North Australia,
December calls forth the husband-
| man to harvest in Chili, the Argentine
| Republic and South Australia.
“a Gar™
On All-Hallow Eve, a man named
Powers took advantage of the general
hilarty and the time-homred custom, to
belabor an old woman, seventy-Six years
of age, on Madison avenue, New York,
with a bag of flour. Her cries altract-
ed the attention of a policeman, and
Powers was locked up,
He was tried next day for assault,
The old woman was delenmined that
the law should take its course, and re-
fused to have the case dismissed.
“Do you feel any bad effect from the
blow?" asked the prisoner's lawyer.
“None at all,’ was the reply.
“Did the flour injure your clothes?"
: madame, that the
r did not intend to injure you.
clothes suffered no damages, and
i a
Te 6 s Kyou i cone
sent to have the case dismissed.”
“Never! When be hit me with
bag of four he sakl: ‘Hello, old gal
+ «Tle new missionary '
he