Been
Rp bd ER RAS
“Jocose Ch ps.
Care in bur coffin drives the
doubt, ;
But Mirth with merry fingers
plucks them out.
—'*Postponed on sccount’ of the
weather,” as the timid city man said
when he did not go through a sheep
pasture with a beiligerent rum holding
the fort,
—“Please pass the goat,”’ said a
boarder to his hostess. “Why do you
call my butter the goat?’ asked
the lady. ‘‘Decause.’’ replied the un-
feeling wretch, *'it’s very strong but-
ter."
— “What are you doing with that ci
gar, you little rascal ?” exclaimed a
father, addressing Iris sen, “Mu says
that if I hit that cat again she'd make
me smoke, and I hit her again an’ am
smokin’? :
LOVE'S QUESTION.
A wistful light lay in her eyes
Asshe gaze o'er thd heaving sea.
And her slender hands were tightly
clasped.
Around one bent-up knee
nails, no
Intense the glance the moonbemn
showed, ‘
As Istood till her breath came fast ;
She asked, in a yoice of music low,
Are peaches cheap at last 7”
— Boston Advertisc:.
—'If you don't give me a penny,’
said a young hopeful to his mamma, “I
know a boy that’s got the measles, and
I’ll go and catch 'em.”
—If you can get one towel out ome
yard of cloth, how many towels can you
get out of two yards? That depends
altogether on how many there are on
the clothes line.
~—*T have been married now,” boasted
a prosy old fellow, “more than thirty
years, and have never given my wife
a cross ‘“That’s because you
never dared uncle,” said a little ne-
phew who lived with them; *if you
had, auntie would have wade you
jump.”
—An exehange says that chickens
can be bought for four cents apiece. It
doesn’t say how big the pieces are,
—*Chamupagne is sald to be going
out of fashion,” says an exchange.
Yes, its disappearance has been fre-
guently noticed,
—. ove laughs at locksmiths, but it
never laughed at the latch of a front
gate when ps was coming with a club,
--A New Jersey lady waded out and
pulled in her husband, who was drown-
ing. As usual she grabbed him by the
hair. .
- “What a wonderful age of inven-
tion this is.” said Mrs Catchpenny.
“1 see they're making wire cloth, and
I'll get some to putin Johnnie’s pants.”
—Bost on girls who got lost in the
word.”
day did not cry “Help!” but “Three
ladies in this direction are in urgent
need of assistance.”
—18 we
WAS rece
members
conclusion
not wrong,
—A New York lady started for the
Mountains with an ontfit of thirty-
nine trunks. And she wouldn't speak
to her husband for a whole day because
he complained of being fea-bitian
through carrying her poodle in his
arms.
of The
arrived at was that it was
frarsaneihln
a debating society,
hut
a natty oi
Domestic Animals,
CHICKEN, RAT, CAT, DoG AND Boy.
-A very, very tough story, in which a
chicken, a rat, a cat, a dog, and a boy
figured, was going the rounds in the
East End, says the. Louisville Courier-
Journal, The story i8 vouched for on
good authority, and on this account is
all the more remarkable, It is related
that Mr. Sam McCurdy was sitting
‘neath the shade of a tree in the back
yard of his residence on Clay street,
near Franklin street, talking to sone
friends, when his attention was called
to a hen with a brood of young chick-
ens, and a large mat that had just
emerged from its hole and was quietly
regarding the young chickens with the
prospects of a meal in view. As the rat
came ‘from his hole, the house cat
awoke from ber afternoon nap and
caught sight of the sat. Crouching
low, she awaited developments, and
stood prepared to spring upon his rate
ship. At the appearance of his ancient
enemy, the cat, a Beotch terrier, which
had been sunning itself in the wood-
shed, pricked up its ears and quietly
made for the place where the cat stood,
At this moment a boy named Andy
Quaid came upon the scene. The
chickens were not cognizant of being
watchéd by the rat, for did the rat see
the cat, nor the f.line the dog, who
had not noticed the coming of the boy.
A little chick wandered too nigh,
and he was seized by the rat, whifch was
in turn pounced upon by the cat, and
the cat was caught in the mouth of the
dog. The rat would not cease his hold
on the chickefl, and the cat, inspite of
dog, did not let go of the rat. It was
fun for the boy, und in high gle he
watched the struggle of each of the
victims, It seemed to him that the rat
tke
getting a stone, he hurled it at the ro-
dent. The alm was not good, and the
stone struck the dog riglt between the |
eves, The terrier released his grip on
the cat, and fell over dead. It had
breathed its last before the cat in turn |
let go the rat and turned over and died. |
The rat did not long survive the enemy, |
and by the side of the already dead
chicken he laid himseif down and gave
up the ghost. The owner of the dog
was 80 angry at his death that he is
said to have come near making the
story complete by killing the boy that
killed the dog that shook the cat that
caught the rat that bit the chicken in
the yard on clay street,
rcs fy Mow
The So-called Weaker Vessels.
nin
~ A prize of seveaty-five dollars is
given annually to the best male Greek
scholar in the high school at Newport.
This year the best examination was
passed by the daughter of George Rice,
the colored steward on the steamer Pil-
grim ; but as she could not be given the
prize, a wealthy New York gentleaan
sent her seventy-five dollars in gold,
—It would be odd if women suffrage
should become the custom in Great
Britian soonerthan in the United States,
That this is possible is indicated by the
vote in the house of commons of 114
ayes to 130 noes on Mr, Muson’s mo-
tion to give the suffiage to those women
whose property qualification allows
them the municipal franchise. So
small a hostile majority must be a hope-
ful gign for the friends of woman suf-
frage,
~The Graphic says it was & woman
who stumbled and fell that caused the
first fatal block at the Brooklyn thea
tre fire in “1877 ; it was & woman who
stumbled and fell that caused the block
at the fatal panic in the Sixteenth
Street Catholic Church a few years
ago ; and it was a stumbling woman, so
far as it can be known, that started the
panic on the Brooklyn bridge. The
Graphic might have added that it was
a stumbling woman who induced Adam |
to “‘bring death into the world, and all
our woe,"
—Miss Ada Ward, an English actress
of intelligence and experience, now in
New York, has very little hopes of the
stagein England, She says that the
facility offered to handsome and incom-
petent amateurs to obtain lucrative po-
sitions and to command press recogni-
tion had worked an immense amount of
mischief among painstaking and con-
scientious players, The largest for-
tunes had been made of late years by
women who bad nothing to recommend
them but their beauty, and they put
skill and good taste, and walked away
laurels
WHAT A Womax Likes —A hus
band who is not always ‘a little short.”
Wiio gets home at a reasonable time of
night and in reasonable physical condi-
tion. Who always let her know before.
hand when he brings a friend to dinner.
Who dosn’t want to sleep till noon
every Sunday morning. Who takes
pleasure in buying his wife a new
spring bounet., Who compliments her
occasionally and calls her pretty wh t ur
she i5 or not. Who, when he comes
home late at night, will come in like a
man, and not like & thief. Who can!
lig in bed while his wife walks with the |
baby without swearing like a trooper.
Who isn’t always telling her the times
are hard and business is poor. Who
will give her credit for working as hard
as he does and sometimes harder, Who
is willing to put up with a poor dinner
on Monday, Who won't keep the din-
ner waiting, and then grow! because
the roast is overdone. Who won't
labor under the impression that cigar
ashes on the carpet tend to keep the
moths out. Who knows when it is |
time to get up, and does not rely on his
wife to arouse him. Who takes his
wife along occasionally when he “runs
down” to New York on “business.”
Who, when he takes his wife to the
theatre, will not go out between the
acts “to see a man.” Who won't
sharpen his lead pencil on the carpet
Who, when he builds an “addition” to |
the house will allow his wife to arrange
for closet room. Who admires his
wife and has the common sense to tell |
of it. Who will not insist upon having |
the pillow with the most feathers in it, |
Who will be as polite to his wife as to
any other women, and will lift his hat |
to her on the street. Who is willing to
share the evening paper,
followed with respect for the dead. It
is & most natural sequence, and is al |
‘ways commendable. But where a fussy
showy parade is made over the dead,
who when they were living, were treated
with neglect and cruelty, it furnishes
the clearest possible evidence of Inten-
tional hypocricy. Posthumous kind.
ness only is a deliberate fraud,
rss II os sa——
~OtisKeilholtz,a prominent Democrat
of Baltimore, and Speaksr of the lust
House of Delegates of Maryland, died,
45 yours,
»
Dio Lewis on Fresh-air,
acta
Dio Lewis oN Fresa Aig,—‘ Be
ware of night air,” This 18 one of
Aunt Susan’s solemn speeches, ‘Close
your windows when the sun goes
down.” This isanother,
The other night when she was draw-
I said to her :
“My dear aunt, what cana wan
breathe at night if he don’t breathe
night air ¥ He can’t breathe day alr,
canhe? Do you mean he should get
a house full of duy air, shut it up tight,
and breatbe it over and over all night ?
My dear auntie did you ever get into
a bedroom where two persons had slept
with closed windows? Now, auntie
you have a sharp nose; what do you
think of that sort of air to feed the blood
and brain. A great many people suck
in that poison all night, and next morn-
ing suffer from dullness and headache,
Auntie, did you ever sleep out of
doors 7°
“Never, I should expect to wake ap
dead if 1 did.”
“My dear aunt, the young Dbitds,
lamba, fawns, and all the rest of the
tender, delicate young creatures sleep
out and do nicely ; but they soon die
of consumption, if we bring them into
our furnace or stove heat, Why, auntie,
I saw, when in South Carolina, a fam-
ily of parents and five children living
under a live oak tree, where they had
stayed three years, with no other cov-
ering than the tree—not even a tent,
It was an intelligent New England
family ; they left Massachusetts very
wretched from scrofula, When | saw
them they were in fine health, I be-
lieve a great French author when he
says: “You may eat bad food, wear
bad clothing, and never wash yourself,
but if you breathe pure air day and
night you will never suffer from scrof-
ula.”
Aunt Susan ended the discussion by
saying : “*Sleep out ‘in the street, if
nice room. Sleep with the pigs and
cows if you like it ; I prefer to sleep like
a christian.’
Aunt Susan is partly right. It isbetter
to sleep ina good bed than out in the
street with the pigs. But it isa sad blun
der to sleep without an open window, —
Christinn af Work,
thw
Successful Tria! of a New Elec~
trical.
A ladnch propelled by. electricity
was shown on the Thames on several
ogcasions last year, and attracted a
good deal of attention. It was pro-
tors,
ment was successful. Recently Messrs
Yarmow & of the Isle of Dogs.
took the matter up, and, working wit
‘
C0.
hibition, with which many experiments
have been made, This little boat made
a run from the Temple Pier to Green.
wich in thirty-seven minutes, with a
moderate tide. Some delay was, more
over, caused by the propeller fouling a
basket—an event well-known to every
one who has bad any experience with
steam launches on the Thames, The
distance is six miles, so that, making
allowance for the tide, it may be said
that a speed of over seven miles an hour
was attained, and full power was not
employed, save fora portion of the time:
On the measured mile an average speed
of over eight miles an hour has been at.
tained.
The boat is forty feel long and of
good beam. She had twenty-one per.
sons on board, including the steersman
and a man to look after the machinery,
if such it may be called. The boat is
completely unincumbered from end to
end, no trace of the propelling mechan-
ism being visible, This consists of
eighty cells of Sellon-Volekmar accum-
ulators, of which fourteen are disposed
under the seat, seven at each side afl
the remainder in the bottom of the boat,
under the oor. The screw is turned
3 vy : vega? Ton § r y
fitted up, intended for the Vienna
ted as a motor. No gearing is used,
the spindle of the armature being
coupled direet on to the end of the screw
shaft. The thrust block is just aft of
the dynamo, which is placed under the
floor in the stern sheets, It lies flat,
and occupies very little space. There
are four brushes, two for going ahead,
two for going astern and two small
lines going to a becket beside the steers.
man enable him at a moment's notice,
by pulling one or the other, to go ahead
or astern ; a cylindrical switch bese
him enables him to stop or go on as
pleasure, This switch is graduated so
that the current, from forty, sixty, or
eighty cells, can be used at pleasure,
The weight of the whole—batteries and
dynamo—is about two tons, or as near-
ly as possible that of engine, boiler with
water, and coal for a steam engine com-
petent to propel her st the same speed,
This pretty Isunch is the very prefec-
tion of &
We
oil, no splashing ef pumps. There is
no noise of any kind to be heard save
the bubbling of the water from the pro-
peller, and the faint hiss caused by the
commutator rubbing against the
ubrughes, There is no smell, and no
“blacks ;’’ and the boat will run for six
hours continuously, or about forty-five
miles,
It has long been known that the screw
is an extremely wasteful propeller, It
may yet be that further investigations
will show that the screw is not so much
to blame as. the combination of screw |
and engines. At any rate the system
of electrical propulsion opens up a new
fleld of inquiry, because it renders pos-
sible the use of screws of extremely fine
pitch revolving at a great speed. The
dynamo in Mr, Yarrow’s boat makes
about 680 revolutions per minute. The
propeller is of steel, two b aded, 19-in of
diameter and 13-inch piteh. There is
absolutely no vioration, and very little
disturbance of the water in the wike of
the boat, — London Field.
Common Words Mispronounced.
Jaundice—jiin’-dis, not janders.
Jean—-jine, not jéén,
Jews-harp--jiiz-Liirp, not jis -hiirp,
Jocund-—jok’-und. not jo'-kund, jo-
cundity, jocundly and joeundness have
also dhe short 0,
Jugular—ji’-gwlar, not jlig’-u-lar.
Jujube—ji’-jiibe, not jii’-ji-be,
Knoll—ndl, not nol,
Lapel—la pel’, not lip'-el,
Lariat—1lir"-i-at, net 1a’ ri-at,
Legate—Iig -ate, not 1é -gate,
Leisure-—lé’-zhui, not 1&zn'-ur,
Length—pronounced as spelled, all
the letters sounded, not lénth.
Lenient —lé’-ni-ent, not lén'-i-ent.
Lethe—1é'-the, not léth,
Lethean—16-thé' an, not 1¢-the-an,
Leverage—1év'-er-aje, not Jé'-ver-age.
Licorice—lik -o-ris, vot lik"-er-ish.
Lithographer—Ii-thog -ra-pher,
[ith’-5-g riiph-er.
Lyceunu—-li-sé’-um, not 1i'-sé-um,
Madame-—-mi-dim’, no! mad’ -am.
Magua charta-—magna-kiir'-ti,
magna-chiir'-ta.
Manes—mi'-nes, not minze,
Munor—miin’-or, not mi -nor,
Marigold—mir-i gold, not ma -ri-
gold. — Bryn Mawr (Pa,) Home News.
not
not
———— —
Silk~Clad Turtles.
Some of the young misses in Borden.
town, N. J., have lately been obtaining
some innocent turtles from the neigh-
boring brooks and ponds in this vicinity,
through the skillful manipulations of
their male acquaintances, and adopting |
and dressing them in the most unique |
if
miss called upon another, she was very |
one young |
her companion,
of last week a fashionable turtle parts
On Tuesday afternoon !
to which all of these pet turties were |
invited, It was quite a brilliant affair,
Considerable time and expense has been
lavished upon the turtles to make them
appear well and attractive for the ocea-
sion, One aristocratic miss’ turtle,
calied “Venus did not attend,
although invited, after having her party
dress made. Two of her sister turtles
were dressed in the most elaborate style,
one having on a magnificent white silk
dress, with train profusely trimmed
with gold embroidery. Another belle
wore a dress of white plush trimmed
with blue satin and lace, the train being
looped wilh white daisies. Some of
these turtles have ‘‘Jerseys,”” but none
were worn on this occasion. The turtles
seemed to enjoy the party very much by
seesawing, swinging, capering upon the
grass, eating ice cream, and other
sports and luxuries indulged in by their
owners,
~=N0 insect, properly so called, has
ever been proved to take up a perma
pent abode in the human alimentary
canal, Their presence, where they
were found, was accidental, as when
swallowed on a piece of meat upon
which the eggs had been deposited.
Butioccasionally larve may give trouble.
Dr. Wacker (Medical and Surgical Re-
porter) has published the case of a boy,
aged 21 years, with colicky pains, ful-
ness in epigastrium, constipation and
frequent fits of nauses, and tendency
to syncope, especially when in a close
atmosphere, such as that of his cottage
or a stable, Dr. Wacker prescribed
some Hunyadi Janos water, to be taken
every morning on an empty stomach,
On the third day a vast mass (over two
litres) of larvee, partly alive and partly
dead, was passed from the rectum,
The patient at once recovered, feeling
po more unpleasant symptoms, even
when in a hot room. On examina.
tion, the grubs were found to be larve
of a common dipterous insect, An
themyia cuniculing, closely allied
to the housefly and blue-bottle
fly.
a
Jacob Hirsch, a prominent brewer, was
For the Fair Sex.
———
Dinner, Evening and Riding Cos~
tumaes.
A very unique garment is equally
elegant and comfortable, It is intend-
ed to be worn over a dinner or riding
costume, and is somewhat in the shape
of a pelisse, The mawerial Is exceed
ingly fine-—camel’s hair of shaded
brown plaid, lined with surah satin
throughout, Tue first is shaped to the
figure by closely laid plaits from a wide
The sleeves are twenty inches wide, fin.
ished wih a broad, plain cuff of velvet,
A wide border of velvet 18 placed just
abuve the edge of the skirt of this lux-
urious wrap.
A handsome imported
wine-colored satin
dress has a
brocade pointed
Same, s0 arranged that the lavender
silk lining is visible, The plaited bro-
cade paniers are similarly lined. The
front of the skirt of lavender silk is
Isid in gracefully loose bias drapery
across the top. Below this is an ex
Bumilar silk draperies follow, and be-
neath falls a deeper flounce of the Swiss
muslin applique. The back drapery is
very bouffant. The light sleeves have
wide cuffs of the Swiss muslin. (Quan
tities of creamy-white silk muslin are
worn on the front of the waists and
skirts of evening dresses.
One of the most beautiful toilets is a
white nuns’ veiling. A very wide
flounce across the front is embroidered
in old gold all over and edged with
creamy Mechlin lace,
a wide garnet velvet ribbon aud is loop-
The pointed basque is trimmed around
the edge with a double frilling of the
lace described above, with trimming of
velvet, The sleeves, three-quarters
long, have a cuff of velvet apd double
ses of nuns’ veiling are seen in the
delicate blue of the corn-flower, pale
primrose, dull olive-green, coral and
raspberry-red trimmed with velvet rib-
itely fine lace. A creamy nuns’ veiling
dress pattern, unmade, has a single
breadth for a tablier stamped or printed
with palm leaves of some quaint, pale
coloring, like Gobelin tapestry. Others
have simpiy two rcws of palms in
Oriental colors printed across the bot-
tom of the breadth.
It is the custom to purchase simply
material for
tioned,
,
An exquisitely delicate toilet
composed of creamy-white
statoped in pale terra-cotta designs.
The skirt is draped irregularly across
the front and held by three bands of
olive velvet ribbon and long
derskirt covered with full plaited
On the hip several rows of lace
plaiting meet the pointed
Loops of olive velvet ribbon are set in
jabots of lace behind. The corsage,
cut heart shape, is surrounded by a
coquettish kerchief of lace, finished
with a double lace jubot. The elbow
sleeves correspond.
For walking«dresses the new broche
Nonpariel velveteen cannot be too high-
ly recommended. It is produced in the
fashionable colors and designs, and is
made in conjunction with satin surah,
Ottoman silks and Satin de Lyon. The
Mirelle costume has a velveteen skirt
and handsome braided polonaise of fine
wool, The exterior of the skirt is
trimmed with box-plaits and small side-
plaits upon a lining. There are four
styles of garments for celd spring days
~the Hamilton and Fenella redingotes ;
the Belgravia basque, an independent
basque, or to complete a custom en
suite ; the Hus«ar jacket, made of jer-
sey cloth, and the Constantia visite,
which may be worn either as an inde-
pendent garment or en suite, There is
an independent garment called the Vel-
leda, which is simple and graceful for
either spring or summer wear. The
waist is perfectly defined and the drap-
ery easily arranged. The embroidery
gives the appearance of an elongated
waistcoat. Upon granite blue, stone,
bronze or olive-green, or leaf-brown
roses, or the French honeysuckle in
shade of shrimp-pink with shaded brown
foilage, may be embroidered with
charming effect, or, if preferred, in seif-
colors. The Peroline jacket is one of
many excellent models fashionably worn
a8 part of a street cloth costume. The
Waistcoat must be of a different color,
as, for instance, the jacket 1s leaf-brown,
the waistcoat a pale buff ; a wine-color
jacket, with shrimp-pink. The skirt
matches the jacket, or the material may
include, in plaid, a blending of the
colors of the jacket and waistcoat, as
gay colors are not only admissible in
contrasts but fashionable. Fer quiet
tastes skirts of a plain color are liked,
and are tailor-made, with rows of stick-
ing or heavy military braid. It must
be added that the Pereline jacket has a
broad rolling collar which descends to
—— —— — ——m_r
it at the waist, and is thence cut away
with a graceful sweep over the deep
waistcoat that follows the same out-
line,
For the Jerseys there is a new all
! wool cashmere, firm in fabric, not as
elastic as the stockinet but equally soft,
{ It is seen in all shades of the newe-t
{ colors in terra-cotta, bronze, Oriental
topaz, Indian reds and blues, the pretty
| pale charity blue and black,
- ery rr—
The Duel in Germany.
How far the duel is not only winked
at but absolutely enforced in Germany
is perhaps scarcely known to the ma-
jority of your English readers, and yet
it is a fact which a residence in the
| country or a perusal of the daily papers
will scarcely fail to reveal. Within the
last few days two duels have bees pe-
ported in the German press. In one
case, at Wurzburg, one of the two stu-
dents concerned was shot dead on the
pot ; the other “fed.” A duelist ap-
paremly finds it a more simple matter
to escape the arm of justice than the
common murderer,
{| When any German officer is chal
{ lenged the question goes before the
{ “Court of Honor” of his regiment,
composed generally of the senior mem-
bers of each commissioned rank of the
service. If it is decided that the in-
sult is real, fight he must or leave the
| service. Skilled or unskilled in the
| use of arms, it matters nut. True,
| the decisions of the said court form
some kind of protection against the
| attacks of mere dueling bullies, upon
| whose heads their challenges may recoil
with dangerous severity ; but the value
of individual lives, the comtingencies
of the contests or any such considera
tions are, of course, utterly unregarded.
Every man for himself,
And the result—if two workingmen
were to quarrel, and one in the hot
blood of the momentary struggle struck
the other on the head with the imple-
ment in his hand, it woud be well for
him if be escaped with his life, But,
if an officer in cold blood shoots an-
other dead, he is punished with a term
of “Festungs Gef engniss’’—1hat is to
say, Lie has to retire for perhaps a year
to some fortress, where he is subjected
to 80 mild a form of imprisonment that
he is scarcely inconven.enced, and then
returns to his regiment without the
slightest moral taint on his character—
pay, he has vindicated his honor as a
man and a soldier,
Seasi
i
de Acquaintances.
Somehow or other seaside acquaint-
| ances very seldom become great friends
| in London, albeit they may live within
{ a shilling cab-fare of each other there.
| We recollect the knowledge of this fact
| Costing us two or three sieepless nights
| of agony. It was only really a friend-
| ship ; love was entirely out of the ques
marrage emphatically barred the
| Way to more, even had that been con-
templated. We bad walked together
| daily, talked as few talk. had pondered
on all the mysteries of life and death
and we at least had, on our part, loved
deeply and truly. Yet, though the
| other was only returning to town a week
belore we were, we knew quite «all
that never again should we en joy each
olher’s society as we had done in those
few blessed weeks in which we had
been seaside acquaintances. Ah, bow
it all comes back to us now! The very
wailing notes of the distant band : the
walk round and round the square to
avoid damp grass; the lights in the
howses ; creeping out in the morning
when the children were asleep, and
giving us strange insights into our
neighbors’ dowestic arrungements ; the
curious way in which the evening lost
its last radiance and became twilight,
in which all looked weird and strange ;
and bow finally we discovered it was
late and that the loved face of the
hun’ er’s moon Was gazing dows on us,
and realized that we should long ago
have been indoors. We tried to take
up the threads again in London, but it
was impossible somehow, Perhaps the
other was too occupied, we know not :
but 10 us, at least, has none other
friendship ever been as true and sacred
as that seaside acquaintance was then
—— .
{ Lion
A Close-fisted Duke.
The late Duke of Buccleuch on one