DM Baby's Mtoektug.
But BP tbs baby's ttoeklns:
Be mr yon tail fosgst
Th dtw little dimpled darling I
She never eew Christmas pel ;
Bat I've told her ell ebon I it,
And ebe opened her bif bine eyes,
And Pat sere ehe nnderetude It,
She looked eo fumy end vim.
Doer! what a tiny Mocking 1
It doeeo t take much to hold
So oh little pink too* ea baby •
Away from the froat and oold ;
Bnt then for the baby's Christmas
ll never would do at all;
Why, Sent* wouldn't be looking
for enythiag half eo aanell I
A Christmas Sang.
The oak ia a strong and stalwart tree,
And U lifts its branch*, up,
And oetahet the dew right gallantly
In many a dainty cup.
And the world it blighter, aud better made,
Beoauee of the woodman's stroke.
Descending ia sun, or falling ia shade.
On the etonly form of tbe oak.
But stronger, I ween, in apparel green.
And trappings eo feir to eee,|
With its precious freight, for email aud greet,
la the heeuufol Chrtttmaa tree.
The elm ie e kind end goodly tree.
With its branches bending low ;
The heart it glad wheu ite form we see,
Ae we list to tbe river's flow.
And joy illumine, the fees.
Whenever a goodly elm is found,
Because of iu beauty and grace.
But kinder. I ween, men* goodly ia mien,
With branches more drooping and free.
The unta of whose leaves, fidelity wee roe.
Is the beautiful Christmas tree.
The maple is sopplu, and lithe, and strong,
And olaimeth our love anew,
When the days are tfetke*. end quiet, end long
And the worid is feir to view.
And lamr—as beauties and grace* unfold—
A monarch right regally drest,
With streamer. > flint and peunoae of gold.
It eeemeth of all the heat.
Mpre Imom, I ween, tbe brightness and shem,
And tbe ook>ru;g, sonny ai d free,
And the banner, soft, that are bald aloft.
By the beautiful Chriauaas tree.
—St .VfeAefcu for Dmesabw.
THE SECRET DOOR.
▲ Christmas Story of Two Handled
Tear* Ago.
Koowkt, in Kent, is an ancient manor
hoase. It stands knee-deep in rich gar
den and pasture lands, with htij fit lds
and apple orchards stretching tcyond,
and solemn oak woods which whisper
and stpkke their wise heads when the
wmi* blow, as though possessed of
sMtfereta which most not be spoken.
Very much a* it looks to-day, it looked
two hundred and thirty rears' ago, when
Charles the First was king of England.
That was the Charles who had his bead
oat off, yoa may remember. Bias
Christmas smoke* curled from the
twisted chimneys in 1645 just as th>
year. The same dinnery fragrance filled
the air, for good cheer smells pretty
much alike in all ages and the world
over. A few changes there may be—
thicker trees, beds of gxy dowers which
were not known in thst day; and where
once the moat—a ditch-like stream of
green water covered with weeds and
senm—ran round the walls, is now a
trimly cot border of verdant turf. But
these changes are improvements, and in
all important respects the boose keeps
its oi l lx>k, undisturbed by modern
times and ways.
In the same nursery where modern
boys and girls eat, sleep and learn their
A, B, C to-day, two children lived—
little Balph Tresbam and his sister
Henrietta. Quaint, old fashioned ere*
ture3 they woald look to us now ; but,
in spite of their formal dresses and
speech, they were bright and merry and
happy as any children you can And
among your acquaintance*. Ralph's
came was pronounced " Rafe," and he
always called his sister " Ht-rie."
Christmas did not oome to Knowle in
its usual bright shape in 1645. Gloom
and sadness and anxiety overshadowed
the bouse; and though the little once
did not understand what the cause of
the anxiety was, they felt something
wrong, and went about quietly whisper
ing to each other in corners, instead of
whooping and laughing, as had been
their wont. They had eaten their
Christmas beef, and toasted the king as
usual, but their mother cried wh n they
did so ; and Joyce, the old butler, had
carried off the pudding with a fate like a
funeral. So, after dinner, they crept
•way to the nursery, an i there, by the
window, begun a long whispering talk.
Bexie had something very exciting to
"Norse thought I was asleep," she
■aid, "but I wasn't quite; and when
they began to talk I woke up. That
wasn't wrong, was it, Bafef I couldn't
sleep when I couldn't, oouid I f"
"I suppose not; but yon needn't
have listened," said Rife, whose no
tions about honor were very strict.
"I did pull the pillow over my ear,
but the words would get in," went on
Henrietta, piteously. "And it was so
interesting. Did you know that there
were such creatures as B >gies, Ksfe I
Dorothy thinks that see have got one in
our house, and that its hole is in the
great gallery, because once when she
was there dusting the armor, she heard
a queer noise in the wall, and what else
conld it bet It oats a great deal, does
the Bogie. That's the reason nurse is
sure we have got one. It ate all the cold
sheep'B heal y sterday, and the day bo
fore half tho big pastry. No victual is
safe in the larder, the Bogie has such a
big appetite, enroe says."
" I remember about the sheep's
head," raid Rafe, meditatively. "A1
most alt of it was left, and I looked to
see it come in oold; bnt wheal asked,
Joyoe Raid th-ve was none. Gobi
sheep's head is very good. Do you rc
member how much Humphrey used to
like it?"
"I don't remember exaeUy.it is RC
long ago," replied Hexie. " How long i*
it, brother ?—sinoe Humphrey went J
away, I mean. Won't ha ever come j
bock-f"
" I a*k*d Winifred once, bid she only
said, 'God knew,' that nothing bad
been heard of him since the bottle when
the king was taken. He might be dead,
or he might bo escaped into foreign
parts—and then sho cried, oh, so hard,
Hexie I Poor Humphrey t I bop- he
isn't dead. Bnt, about the Bogie, how
curious it must be to meet one I Oh, I
say, let as go to the galiery now, aud
see if we hear any strange noises there.
Will yon ?"
" Oh, Rtfe ! I'm afraid. I don't quite
like"—
"But yon can't be afraid If I'm
there,"said Bife, valiantly; "besides,
I'll put on Humphrey's old sword
which he left behind. Then if the Bowie
comes—we shsi ! see f"
Rafe spoke like a oonquering hero,
Hexie thought; so, thongh she trem
bled, she made no further objection,
but stood by while he lifted down the
sword, helped to fasten itH belt over his
shoulder, and followed along the pas
sage which led to the gallery. The
heavy sword clattered end rattled as it
dragged on the floor, and the sound was
echoed in s ghostly way, which renewed
Hexie'a f are.
" Bafs! Rafe 1 let us go back!" she
cried.
" Go back yourself if you arc afraid,"
replied Ralph, etoutly; and as going back
alone through the dim passage seemed
jnst then worse than staying where she
was, Hexie stayed with her valiant
brother.
Very roftly they unlatched the gallery
door, and stole in. It was a long, lofty
apartment, paneled with cedar wood, to
which time hud given a beautiful light
brown color. The ceilings the same
FRED. KURTZ. Kditor and Proprietor.
VOLUME X.
shields, costs of arena, anil otherdevires.
There was little furniture: one tall cabi
net, a few high backed chairs, and eoine
portraits hanging ou the walla. The
ann, not vet quite set, poured a stream
of red light across the polished floor,
leaviug the far corners and the empty
spaces formidably dunk. The children
nad seldom been in the gallery at thia
hoar, ami it looked to them almost tike
a strauge place, uot at all an it did at
noonday when they came to jump up
and down the slippery fliKir, aud play
hide and seek in the corners which now
seemed so dark and dismal. •
Even Kafc foil the diffhrenoe, anil
shivered iu spite of his bold heart and
the big sword by his side. Timidly
they went forward, hushing their foot
steps aud peering fnrtively into tbe
shadows. Suddenly Heiie stopped with
a little scream.
Clone to them stood a large suit of ar
mor, larger and taller than a man. The
empty eye holes of the helmet glared
out quite like real eyes, and the whole
figure was terrible enough to frighten
any little girl. But it was not at the ar
mor that Heiie screamed; the iron mau
was an old friend of tbe children's.
Many a game of hide-anil week had they
played around, and behind, and even
inside him; ft* Humphrey had contrived
a canning way by which the flgore
oould be taken to pieces and pnt to
gether again ; and more than once Rafe
had tieen popped inside, and hail lain
shaking with laughter while Hexie
vainly searched for him all through the
gallery. Thia had not happened lately,
for Rafe was hardly strong enough to
manage by himself the screws and hinges
which opened the armor; bat he knew
the iron man too well to scream at him,
and so did Hexie. Tbe object which
excited her terror was something dif
ferent, and so strange and surprising
that it is no wonder she screamed.
Close by the armcr, half hidden by a
curtain of heavy tapestry, was an open
door, where never door hod been known
to be. It stood ajar, and dimly visible
inside was a narrow staircase windiug
upward.
"The hole of the Bogie!" gasped
Hexie, clutching at Rafo's arm. He
started aud felt for the sword. It rat
tled fearfully, and tbe sound completed
Hexie'a terror. She buret away, flew
like a scared lapwing down the gallery,
alone the paasagee, and never st pped
till she reached tne nursery aud her owu
bed, where, with two pillows and the
quilt drawn over her bead, she lay sob
bing bitterly at the thought of Ralph
left behind, to be eateu perhaps by the
Bogie 1 Poor little Hexie
Rtlph, meanwhile, stood his ground.
His heart heat very fast, bat he would
not ran away—that war for girls. It
mns! he owned, however, that when a
moment later the sound of muffled voices
became audible dowu stsire, he trembled
extremely, and was guilty of the unman
like act of hiding behind the cartaui.
He was only teu years old, which must
plea l his excuse with bigger boys who
are confident that they could never, un
der any circumstances, hide themselves
ar he afraid.
The voice* drew nearer, stops Rounded,
and two figures came out of the narrow
doorway. Oooid there be two Bogiaaf
No wonder they ate so much. Bat in
another minute all thought of Bogies
vanished from Ralph's mind, for in one
of the figures he recogniz d his own sis
tor Winifred.
Her companion wis a man. There
WHS something familiar in his form. It
moved forward, and Ralph jumped so
that the big sword rattU-d again. B -gie
number two was his brother Humphrey,
mourned as dead ere r niece the summer
before, when so many bravo gentlemen
gave up their lives for King Charles at
tho battle of Naseby.
" Wnat noise w*;thit?" whispered
Winifred, fearfully.
"Some .-ound )mai below," replies!
Humphrey, aftor listening a moment.
"Mast you go, Winnief'
"I mast, dear Humphrey. I dare not
absent myself longer left I be missed
aud suspected. Oh, if to morrow were
but over, and you safe on the French
lugger and over the *ea! I cannot
breathe while this hiding and danger go
oo."
" I suppose I ought to be glad also,"
said Hnaiphray, ru-fully ; •• but to me
that French logger means exile and
loneliness and poverty, for the rest of
ay life, perhaps. Better have laid
down my life with the rest at Naaeby, in
striking one last blow for the king."
"Don't yon speak so!" protested
i Winifred, tearfully. " You are alive,
thank God ; and once these wars are
over we may rejoin yoa, and have n
happy home somewhere, if not in the
land of oar fathers. Now, dear Humph
rey, have yon all yon need for tho
night t"
"Christmas cheer,"said Humphrey,
in a wonld-be cheerful voice. "Beef
and ale—what better fare could be ?
Yon are a gallant provider, mv Winnie,
and there is need, for since 1 have lain
in that bole with nothing else to do, my
appetite has raged like a wolf. That
sheep's head was srondrons savory. I
say though, Winnie, what do the ser
vants think of the famine I create in the
larder I"
" Ob, the stupid creatures fancy that
a Bogie has taken up his residence here.
A very hungry Bogie, Joyce calls the
creature!"
The brother and sister laughed ; then
they kiseed each other.
"Good-night, dearest Winifred."
•* Good night, brother," and Humph
rey vanished np the stairs. Winifred
lingered a moment; then, as if remem
bering something, opened the dooragain
and ran after him. Ralph marked that
she laid her hand on a particular boss in
the carved wainscot and pressed it in
hard, whereon the door sprang open.
He stole out. laid his hand on the same
boss, and felt the spring give way nn
der his touch. Some undefined idea of
stealing in later, to make Humph
rey a visit, ww in his head ; bnt he
heard Winifred returning, and harried
oat of the gallery. Fatting back the
sword in its place, he entered tho
nursery. No Hexie was visible, but a
sobbing sound drew his attention to a
tumbled heap c n the bed
"Is that yon, Hexie? Why, what
are you crying about f" pulling away
the pillow which she held tight.
"Oh, Rafot Then the Bogis didn't
eat you, after all 1" And Hexie buried
her fear-stained face on his shoulder.
" Bogie 1 Nonsense! There are no
such things as Bogies !"
"What was it, then, that lived np
that dreadful stairs ?"
" I can't tell yon, only it waa nothing
at all dreadful. And, Hexie, don't sav
a word about that door to any one, will
yon? It might mako great trouble if
you did."
" I did tell Deborah, when she fetch
ed the candle and asked why I cried,
that I saw a strange door in the gallery,"
faltered Hexie, truthful, thongh peni
tent.
"Oh I Hexie, how could you f I
don't like Deborah, and her father is a
knave. Humphrey said so one day.
How oould you talk to her about the
door, Hexie t
" I—don't know. I was frightened,
and she asked me," sobbed Hexie.
"Will it do any harm, Rafe?"
"It may," said Rife, gloomily. " But
don't cry, Hexie. You meant no harm,
at all events."
" Ob, don't speak ao gravely and so
like Joyce," said Hexie, much troubled.
THE CENTRE REPORTER
She cried herself to sleep that night.
Deborah, who undressed her, asked
many questions about the gallery and
the door.
"It was very dark, and perhaps she
mistook"—thai was all Hexie could be
made to my. Ralph was disturbed and
wakeful, aud alept later than usual nest
morning, lie jumped up in a hurry aud
made what haste he oould with dressing
aud breakfut, lint it seemed as though
they never took eo much time before;
and all tbe while he ate he was conscious
of a stir and bustle in the house, which
excited his cariosity very much. Knock
ing—the sound of feet—something un
usual was going on.
A* soon as possible he slipped away
from nurse and run to the gallery. The
door was half open. He looked in, and
stood till with terror. Men, iu brown
uniforms aud steel cups, were there
sounding the walls and tapping the
floor boards with staves. The gallery
seemed full of them, though when lUfe
counted there were but five.
"This mau of irou was, in all likeli
hood, a Malignant also," hie heard one
of them any, striking the armor with his
fist.
"He ia somewhat old for that Me
thinks that is armor of the time of tUat
man of blood, Harry the Eighth. Move
it aside, Jotliam, that we may search
the further panel."
So the heavy figure was thrust into a
corner, and the men went on tapping
with their wands. Rafe groaned within
himself when be heard them declare
that tbe wall sounded hollow, and saw
them searching for a spring. Twenty
times it seemed as though they must
have lighted on the right place. Twenty
times they just missed it.
"We were ill advised to come with
out tools," declared the m&u who seemed
leader of the party. " Come thou to
my shop, Peter Kettle, and thou,
Bartimeus and Zermbabel, and we will
tetch such things as are needful.
Jotbam, stay thou here, to see that no
men esoapeth from tbe ocnocatment be
hind the wall."
So fonr of the men went sway, leering
Jot ham striding np and down a* on
guard. Presently uaine a shout from
beneath the window;
" Jot ham I onr leader hath dropped
his pouch in which are the keys of the
smithy. Hasten and bring it to the
outer door."
*' Aye, aye I" answered Jotham, and,
poach in hand, he ran down the stair*.
Now was Rale's opportunity. Like a
flash he wa.r across the gallery, his
hand on the boas. The door flew open,
and he fell into the arms of Humphrey,
who, sword iu baud and teeth set, stood
ou the lower atop of the staircase,'pre
pares! to s-U bis liberty as dearly as
possible.
" Rife ! little Rife!" he exclaimed.
" Hush ! The man will come back,"
panted ltfo. "Oome away—hide—oh,
where f" Then with * sudden inspira
tion ho dragged his brother toward the
iron man. "Get inside," he cried.
" They will never think of searching
there! Oh, Humphrey—make haste!
Get inside!"
There was no time to be lost. With
the speed of desperation, Humphrey
unscrewed, lift d, stopped inside the
armor. Ra/e slipped the fastening* to
gether, whisper/-,! "shut your ejis,"
and flew leiok to his hiding place. Just
in time, for Jotham'a step was on the
stair, aud next moment he eutorei the
gallery, aud resumed his march up aud
down, little dreaming that the man
sought for was peeping through the hel
met holes at him, not three, f. et away.
Presently the other soldiers came
bock with hammers and wrenches, aud
in a short time the Wautifnl wainscot,
split into pieces, lay on the flx>r. Bud*
dt-nly there was a shout. Tho secret
door had flown opt-u, an 1 tho staircase
stood revealed. Four of the men, with
picks and pistols, prepared to ascend,
whilo the fifth guarded the opening be
low.
At that moment Winifred entered the
gallery from the further end. Bhe
turned deadly pale when she saw the
open door and the mm.
" Oh! Heaven have mercy 1" she
cried, and dropped half fainting into a
chair.
Rife daxtid acrot *tbe floor and seised
her hand.
" Hush," be whispered. " Don't say
a word, euter. He i* safe."
"He! Who!" cried tLo amazed
Winifred.
But now voices sounded from above.
The men were coming down. Winifred
rallied he* courage, ro-e aud went for
ward. She was very wi ite still, bnt she
spoke in a steady Toice. Her two
brothers, Humphrey in his hiding place
and little Rale by her side, both ad
mired her greatly.
" What is the meaning of this, Jo-
Iham Green ?" she demanded. "By
what warrant do yon enter and spoil our
house ?"
"By tho warrant which all trne moo
have to search for traitors," said Jo
tbara.
" You will flad none such here," re
sponded Winifred, firmly.
" We flad tho larking place in which
ono such has donbttess lain," said Zer
rnbabel. " Where holes exist, look out
for vermin."
" You are lets than civil, neighbor.
An old house like this has many strange
nooks and corners of wh ch the inhabi
tants may have neither use nor know
ledge. If your search is done, I will
beg you to make good the damage you
have caused as best you may, and with
as little noise as possible, that my
mother be not alarmed. Jotham Green,
jon are a good workman, I know. I re
collect bow deftly you onco repaired
that cabinet for us."
All the men knew Winifred, and her
calm and decided manner made its im
pression. Jotham slowly picked np the
fragments of the paneling ai A began to
fit them together. The rest consulted,
and at last rather sheepishly, and with a
mattered half apology about "wrong
information," went away, taking with
them tLe injured woodwork, which Jo
tham undertook to repair. Rafe's first
words after tliey disappeared were :
" Winifred, you must dismiss De
borah. It is she that has betrayed as."
" How do yoa know that, Rate!"
Then it all came ont. Winifred lis
tened to the tale with streaming tears.
" Oh, Rafe, my darling, how brave
you were ! You played the man for ns
to-day, and have saved—l trust yon have
saved—our Humphrey. Tho men will
not return to-day, and to-night tho lug
ger sails."
And Humphrey was saved. Before
morning, well disguised, he had made
bis way across country to a little fishing
port, embarked and reached Franco
without further accident.
Bo that strango Christmas adventure
ended happily. It was all long, long
ago. Humphrey and Winifred and Rafe
lived their lives out, and lay down to
rost a century aud a half since under the
daisy sprinkled English sod. Little
Hexie died an aged woman, before any
of us were born. But still the beautiful
old manor houso stands amid its gardens
and pasture lands, with the silvery look
of time on its gray walls. Btill the arm
ed figure keeps guard beside the secret
staircase, the tapestry hangs in the old
heavy folds, evening reddens the cedar
walls and the polished floor, and every
thing occupies the same place and wears
the same look that it did when little
Rafe played the man in that gallery, and
saved his brother Humphrey, more than
two hundred years ago.— St. Nicholas.
CENTRE HALL, CENTRE CO., PA., THURSDAY, JANUARY 4, 1877.
An llumblc Hero's Heath.
The Chicago Tribwtr Uu the follow
lug account of Uio loaa of four livw ut a
tiro in that oily: It was in the Eastern
House that the loss of life took nlace.
The flames aeeuied to have enveloped
the buildings in a whiff, for when the
ffremou came ou the spot all the build
ings were ablace. Captain Bullwiukle
and hi* men, who were first ou the
ground, reaoued all they oould, and in
thin work, an acton sa they arrived, the
ftremeu bravely anointed. Kaiser's
family, (Vila's and Oeewe's. aa well aa
the dookella, had a narrow escape. Mr.
Cookell employed oouaiderable help in
hia reataurunt. They alept in the rear
fart f the second atory, over the
the n. The fire bnraed tieroety here,
an vhen the in ma toe were awakened
ee.ui t> was almost onl off. Cookell and
b • family were awakened by a man
named James Allen, who boarded at the
house, and their lives were thus un
doubtedly saved. He was a tailor by
trade, thirty seveu years of age, and had
recently oorne home from Boston, where
he left a wife ami live children. This
mau Alien nroved himself a hero, and
met hia death like a martyr in trying to
save human life. After he bad awaken
ed nearly every one in the house, he
took hia overcoat upon his arm and got
out upon the sidewalk. Finding thai
there were vet persons in the building
he managed to got back. A |>or girl
named Agnes Healy, aged seventeen,
who had beeu a waiter at the restaurant,
was half erased, suffocating with smoke,
and eryiug to be saved. lie seised her
aronnd the waist, and was about to carry
her to a window, bnt escape was cnt off,
and the two perished together, and in
' this way they were found charred and
lifeless,clasped in each other's embrace.
A little way from them were found the
bodies of Emma Burt, or Brad! y, a
dining-room girl, and George Broad.
The woman was about twenty-four years
! of age aud married, and her home waa in
Columbus, Ohio. Broad was an Eng
lishman, twenty six years of ago, and a
| clerk for Oockell. The bodies were not
burned so badly aa to be unrecognisable,
and their appearance seemed to indicate
rather that they were suffocated, the
debri* covering and in a unmoor pre
serving the remains.
Worsen and War.
Most wars of the last century, says
the New York Time*, have resulted in
little less than waste of money and waste
of life. Nothing has been gained either
materially or morally; they have end
ed u.-srly where thev began, plus count
less graves, invalids, shattered hopes
and broken hearts. There have been a
few contest*—cau tests for ideas, for
human rights, for higher civilisation,
but when Bnch lisve boeu, women have
taken up their great burdens, mourn
fully, though patiently and resignedly,
ami have accepted what fortune brought,
not without poignant grief, but with
the consoling thought that they had
suffered and mode sacrifice in a holy
cause. It his been urged against
women, sometime*, that they are iooa
pable of bearing arms, of performing
military duty in the field There have
been msny exceptions to this rule, which
ao doubt, however, holds generally
good. If this incapacity be s fuult.it
is certainly a good fault, one to which
progress and hnmauity should be lenieut
It might be said in women's favor that,
should she have the arrangement of
aii tira, wars would be far less frequent,
if iht-y did not cease altogether. She
is not so strong, physically, nor ao
tleroe as her brother mau, but she is
undeniably more moral and more civi
lised ; and where high morality and ci vi
lxation are, war, oft. n as it may happen,
is always an anachronism. In any
strict gyuoeraoy—should there ever be
such a thing—the question of women
bearing arm* will not be discnsed, for
war will be ranked, as in most cases it
dejuti ves to lie. na a relic of barbarism
The daya of trial bv battle on a grand
scale would assuredly be numbered, if
statesmen and leaders who declare war,
At soldiers who conduct it, w. re eapa
oTi) of feeling for any length of time the
dit tress cf mind, the agony of ln-art,
the tortnre of soul, which every battle,
all over the civilised world, naturally
and necessarily brings to women. To
them men owe much more than thqy
ever think or oonerdo; and if men were
mora in the habit of looking through
women's eyes, beforo they iruj>e.ri!
women's happiness in iuilitaiy ventures
for no good or wise end, they might give
themselves such wholesale pause as
would turn the almost equally balanced
scales on the side of beloved aud blessed
peace.
The Electoral Vote.
Ex Senators Carl Schnrz and John R.
Henderson, and other prominent men
of Bt. Louis, have forwarded s petition
to Congress relative to the counting of
the electoral vote. They say in the
petition that tho present condition of
the oonntry calls for soino action which
shall settle the political disquietude.
Tho clause in the Constitution respect
ing the muvussing of tho electoral vote
is quoted, and prononnced inadequate
and liable to diverse oonstmetion. The
attempt to canvass the vote iu joint ses
sion of Congress is deprecated as cer
tain to rai o partisan issues, and develop
a strife which may prove most disas
trous to the oonntry. Thopetition then
proposes as tho remedy that the whole
matter shall be transferred to the sn
prtmo court of the United States. It
is urged that that is the only tribnnal
from which a fair and nn partisan de
cision, one which will satisfy the whole
people, can be obtained. To effect this
the petition proposes' that the two
Houses shnll improve the three weeks
preceding Christmas in forming and
agreeing upon a Constitutional amend
ment placing in tho snpremo oonrt the
duty of canvassing tho electoral vote.
Most of the State Legislature meet im
mediately after the holidays, when the
amendment could be snbmitted; and the
latter holds to tho opinion thnt the
amendment conld be ratified without
delay, so that it oould be made part of
the Conatitution and apply to the pres
ent election. Both of the l'reaidential
candidates, it is urged, would recognize
tho wisdom of thin course, aud both the
Republican and Democratic legislatures
would ratify it. Tho petition dwells at
length npon the wisdom of removing
this important matter from n tribunal
that is likoly to bo affcctod by party
strife.
Who's Elected.
One of the teacher* in a Sunday
school was "stumped" badly during
the servioos of tho hour. Ho was teach
ing the infant class, and, after explain
ing the lesson as well as ho know how,
he threw open the question box, figur
atively speaking, and told the children
they might ask him any questions that
suggested themselves, lie was gratified
by a seven year-old girl, who immedi
ately piped out: "Who's'lected?" He
couldn't tell
LONG AWAY.—A traveler, who rode
up to a wayside tavern in Wisconsin,
being told by a boy, who pointed to an
elderly woman standing in tho door,
that "that ere woman is the landlady,"
politely bowed to her and asked:
"Madam, where is your husband!"
"Gone to Milwaukee for a stock of
liquor and lemons," said she. " Has he
been gone long I" " Only twenty-three
years. The traveler rode on.
A CIKE OP CREMATION.
VS. Morulas ml Ihm NaSv ml Hmrmm Am rtie
In the United Hiatus, the only record
ed iustances of cremation, except the
burning alive of priaouere at the stake
by savages, are those of the burning of
Henry Laurens, about 1816, of Henry
Berry, in Marion county, 8. 0., last
July and that of Joseph Henry Louis,
Harou de Palm, Graml Cross Command
er of the Sovereign Order of the Holy
Sepulchre at Jerusalem, Knight of St.
John at Malta, Prinoe of the Roman
Empire, late Chamberlain to his Majesty
the King of Havana, Fellow of the Tho
oaophical Society of New York, eto.,
which has just taken plaoe.
Thia uobleman's life was a romance of
whioh his death, embalming, prelimi
nary funeral in New York aud cremation
iu Pennsylvania are strange seqnrncee.
He was a member of that diplomatic
corps which includes in every European
capital the brightest, the best educated,
the most accomplished of men, bat ho
wearied of courts, possibly because the
expense* of Germau diplomatists could
not keep pace with those of English
ambassadors. With a failing income
and a stout heart he immigrated to
America, and lauded in New York in
1858, a bachelor of some fifty years. He
pushed on to Chicago, and there from
time to time, iu company with sreocistas
who are well known among merchants,
he engaged in various business enter
prises and real estate operations. They
proved unfortunate. Toward the close
of the year 1875 he returned to New
York where he died, and his funeral ser
vices took plaoe iu May last, at the
Masouic Temple. By the will the Baron
requested that bi< remains be burned.
It being impractiacble to burn the corpse
as he desired it to be burin d, it was em
balmed and laid iu a receiving vault to
await the completion of the present
crematory by Dr. Le M >yue, of Wash
ington, Pa., and to that place the re
mains were taken.
The furnace is a cheap affair. Coarse
bricks and tire bricks form the walls ;
the furnace door below and the door of
the firecLy oven above it are of unorna
niented irou. The front of tbe furnace
resembles that of any common furnace
for melting iron or reducing ore*. A
sooty feeder of tbe tire stood in front of
it. rather fatigued by a vigil of thirty-six
hours since the fire begun to burn.
Before any guest* were admitted, the
body hod been taken from the oolfin,
completely wrapped in a white sheet,
and laid npon an iron crate which stood
on wooden treaties in the renter of the
reception room, according to the old
Greek and Roman custom. It was in
jected snd rurronuded with cinnamon,
caasia, frunkinrenre and tnyrrh. A large
number of scientific gentlemen were
present to witnua* the affair. Tho body
was placed in the furnace about eight
o'clock, snd the fire wa* kept burning
about three hoars, when nothing re
mained but a confused mass of aahes in
the bottom of the retort. When the re
tort was cooled the ashes were gathered
in a Hindoo urn aud will be preserved.
l'atrkk Henry's Fropheey
Patrick Henry, in the Virginia con
vention on tho adoption of the Con
stitution oi 1788, spoke as follows :
" Your President may easily Is come
king. Your H nate is so imperfectly
oonsti act* d that vour dearest rights
may be sacrificed by what may be a
small uiaji riiy ; and a very small minori
ty may continue forever unchangeably
this government although horribly in
fective. Where are vonr checks in this
government! Your strongholds will be
in the bauds of your enemies. It is on
the supposition that yotir American
governor shall be honest that all the
good qualities of this government are
founded, bnt its perfect and imperfect
construction puts it in their power to
perpetrate tbo worst of mischiefsahonld
they be tied men. And, sir, would not
all the world blame our distracted folly
in resting onr rights npon the contin
gency of onr rub ra being good or bad f
Hhow m that age and country, where
the rights and liberties of the people
were placed on the chance of their rulers
being good men, without s oonaequent
Iww of liberty. I say that the lows of
that dearest privilege has ever followed,
with absolute certainty, every such mail
attempt. If your Araericnn chief be a
man of ambition and abilities, bow easy
will it bo for him to re ndor himself ab
solute I The army is in his bauds, and
if be be a man of address it will le at
tached to him, and it will be the subject
of long meditation with him to seise
the flint auspicious moment to accom
plish Lis design. And, sir, will the
Amerioin spirit solely relieve yon when
this happens! I would rather have a
king, ic ids and commous, than a gov
ernment so replete with such insupport
able evils. It we make a king, we may
present*) the nilee by which ho shall
rule his people ; bnt the President in
the field, at tho head of his army, can
prescribe tho terms on which be shall
reign master, so far that it will puule
any American even to get his neck from
nnder the galling yoko!"
They Were Homesick.
A letter from Hntisford, Wis., says:
About the first week in October lat
abont a dozen families and a few single
Jonng men left this town aud neighbor
ood, expecting to make their fntnre
home in Oregon. We were, therefore, a
good deal surprised almnt ten days ago
to see meat of them back again. Some
of them, on being questioned, declared
that tho country was a miserable region,
where a man wonld flud it difficult to
live and anything bnt pleasant to die.
Carefnl inquiry, however, disclosed the
true atate of the rase. They had gone
too late in the fall. It rained almost
constantly after they left Wisconsin, and
iucossautiy dnring their stay in Oregon.
Boveral of the children fell sick on the
way; nearly tho whole party were utterly
homesick before they landed at Port
land.
Freaks of the Registry.
The Columbus (Ga.) /inquirer has
tho following: We have a file of the city
registration Binco 1868. It is queer how
some people grow. In IHBB a leading
manufacturer gave his age as forty-four,
in 1876 he is only forty-nix years old.
He grows slowly. A shoe merchant in
1868 was thirty-seven, bnt in 1878 he
claims to le only forty-seven. Bnt it is
tho old bachelors and widowers who
grow old slowly. One widower, a mer
chant, in 1868, was flfty-fonr. In thir
teen years he has only reached sixty
four. One old bachelor registered him
self in 1868 as thirty two, bnt we find in
1876 he has only reached forty-one. An
other of tho same species was thirty-six
in 1863, bnt has allowed the bair to
grow so as to cover the bald spot and he
now registers forty-five.
His Tiiinkino. When a witness
was testifying tho other day he replied
to a question: " I think not, sir." "I
don't waut to know what you think,"
thundered the lawyer. "Well," said
tho witness, " I'm thinking under oath,
and that's as near as I can tell you."
That waa something new, and the smile
went round, and then somebody sug
gested that possibly it might be a good
thing for lawyers, stump speakers and
some editors to do their thinking under
oath.
ONE OF UICKF.NK' COHYICTO.
MpaaSlai a 1.11.11 M. IS MelUary CeaSae.
■ asl—Doeerailaa a Cell tlsSer Ul
aeltlse— S slaaalar (Jbaeaeter.
Over thirty years ago, says a Phila
delphia letter, when Charles Dickens
made the tour of this country that re
sulted in his " American Notes," he de
voted much of his time to the inspec
tion of our prison system. Oar prt..ci
pal prison, then ss now, was the Eastern
penitentiary, in which the system of
solitary confinement prevailed. Mr.
Dickens in a few graphic sentences
pictured the miserable ooudition of the
unhappy convicts to whom the sonnd of
a litgßiui voice is almost unknown for
year after year.
That Mr. Diokeiu' notion of the sys
tem was a fair one, the experience of
many years and the testimony of some
of the best minds of the age
have shown ; but many men are
still living—some of them' now within
the walls of the priaou itself—who are
ready to testify that the institution was
as light and airy thirty years ago as it ia
now, aud a recent personal visit oon
vince me that it b u pleasant and
wholesome a plaoe ae ia compatible with
massive atone walls and unyielding bars
of iron. Possibly Mr. Dickens' tmagi
nation, aa ia apt to be the eaae with men
of such high strong sensibilities, was
wrought upon by his surroundings. At
all events, those who read his vivid de
scription will shudder more at the
picture so powerfully brought before
them, than they would be apt to at the
original.
The building oovers a square, aud
branches off from a circular hall in the
oeuter into seven lung corridors, all ;
well lighted and excellently ventilated.
Everything is as clean as soap and water
can moke it, and within the oelta,
which are rangtd along the oorridore in
two tiers, there is neatness and cleanli
ness which would shame many model
housewives.
ID Dickens' time there tu a prisoner
of forty \ oars or thereabout*, whose de
moted appearance especially attracted
the attention of the novelist. He was
m the corridor fronting the entrance,
and had devoted all the time allowed
him from his work to punting and orna
i meuting hit oetl and cultivating hia
little garden—a patch of gronn<i abont
eight feet long and five or six feot wide.
Dickens describes the cell and the gar
den briefly, bat devotee a long para
graph to the downcast expression and
demeanor of the priaoner.
It was the arrest of this man—Charles
Laughetmer by name—that suggested
this Letter. Langheimer was discharged
from the penitentiary in September last,
and lately was brought np before a
magistrate charged with stealing an
overcoat. He ia arventy four years old,
with bnahy gray whiskers and grinled
hair, and has ail the appearanoe of a
well-to-do mechanic. As far as I eau
ascertain, he ia not a hard drinker, bnt
the police and the prison authorities
say that his long life has been one con
stant aeries of larcenies. In prison he
loves to work, and shows great taste and
ingenuity ; bnt, ouoe at large, his itch
ing of the fingers returns, and he ia soon
in trouble again. When Dickens saw
him, be waa serving his third term for
j grand larceny. Hiooe then 1M hat
'',' done " three terms of five years each,
and five others of a year or two each,
returning to the prison with the rega
! lardy of the seasons.
The coll he occupied in 1812 is one of
the aide shows of the prison, but the
garden ia not as well kept as it was then.
The walls and oeiling of the oell are
elaborately painted iu red, blue, and
green. Every time be oomes back he
tries to get his old cell; bat failing in
this, be goes to a new one, and oontent
ed ly begins the work of embellish men t.
i When I saw him, jost before his release,
be had spent nearly a rear in a oell in
the southern tier, and had painted and
arranged it so thoroughly that it looked
almost inviting. The paint he obtained
by soaking colored yarns in which he
worked iu water, and extracting the dye.
Bach trifles as be could obtain from the
chaplain or the warden he utilised with
woudcrfai ingenuity. Hi* garden bed,
like that described by Dickens, waa
coffin shaped, but hia flower* were
the brightest and most blooming in the
prison. He set at bis who'd as the war
den ushered me into the oell, looking tin
with a pleased expression at the sound
of oar voices, bat never stopping his
work for a second. Au expression of
surprise at hia wouderfal ingeuuity dreW
forth s faint, flickering smile which waa
painf .il to see, bnt after tbe first glance
he did not look np again, although I
could see that he beard every word we
said, and watched onr motions sharply
oat of ono corner of hia eye.
He will take up his oiu quarters for
a year or two more, and I aui glad to
say that his comfortable oell has been
reserved for him. He is s standing ar
gument for tbe authorities of the prison
in favor of the silent system. "Why,"
they say, "if this man wauted to, he
could get oat of this State and into New
York as soon as he is released, for oar
prisoners seldom go away empty hand- ]
oil, and there he oould serve his time in
Ring Sing or ou Black well's island and
herd with his fellows. This system may
not work the same with all men, bnt the
stories of insanity ariaing from solitary
confinement are all bosh. Invariably
we find that onr insane prisoners were
mentally unsound when they came to
as.
The Esqulmanx Dog.
An Esqnimanx dog seems to be an
expensive luxury. On the retnrn of the
Pandora from the Franklin search ex
pedition. Captain Allen Yonng%ronght
back with him a fine specimen of the
Esqnimanx dog, on which bo set great
valne. The animal one day got loose,
and long time was at large in the
neighborhood of Southampton. Tho
Hampshire formers, taking it for a wolf,
turned out en masse with guns and
sticks, aud killed the poor brnte. A
long btl for depredations committed by
the animal was also handed to Captain
Young, who had to recompense the suf
fering agriculturists. On the reoent re
tarn of the Pandora from the Arctic re
gions, T.ient Arbnthuot brought home
a fine Esquimaux dog, the " kiug of the
pack." tin November 20 tho animal
got away, and caused much alarm, being
mistakes, as iu the case of Captain
Young's dog, for a wolf. It paid a visit
to a farm at Broomhnrst, gobbling up
fonr docks and killing a fifth, but was
soon after recaptured.
The Lien .Sermon.
Over two hundred years ago there
lived in London Sir John Gayer, mer
chant and lord mayor in the time of
Char lea 1., and distinguished for his
loyalty to that unfortunate monarch.
Daring bis traveling in Afrioa be was
wonderfully delivered—in answer to his
earnest prayer—from a lion, and on his
return homo oommnmorated his escape
by endowing an annual sermon in bis
parish church, accompanied by a con
tribution of gifts to the poor. This ser
mon, from that day to this, has been
called " The Lion Sermon." For more
than two hundred years this sermon has
been preached regularly, and descend
ants of the Gayer family arc frequently
to be seen among the congregation on
these occasions.
TEHMH: $2.00 a Year, in Advance.
HARD TIMES.
THE CAUSE ANO CUBE
Oharlie.—Well, little wife, got on yoor
thinking cap, eh, instead of welaoming
your tired and discouraged huabsna
home after e hard day's work doing
nothing in the store I
Maggie.—Tee, Charley, yoor com
plaints about hard times have been run
ning in my bead ever ainee dinner, and
Ibave gone into a calsolation.
Charlie. A calculation I well, my
sweet, mathematical financier, oan you
- how me how we ore going to live this
year, with trade fallen off fifty per
cent, and twenty per eent of tbe bills
that we do make gone to the dogs f
Maggie.—Perhaps I can, by-end bye,
bnt 1 have just finish* d a general esti
mate of what might be done to ours the
hard times.
Charlie.—Better yet! Come, laawte,
ont with the figures, and I will have
them posted on the bulletins, and quo
ted on 'Change before nine o'olock to
morrow morning.
Maggie.—Don't be sarcastic, Charlie;
there may be more sense in this "gooaie
head," ss yon sometimes call it, than
you think.
Charlie.—All right. •Proceed to bus!
new.
Maggie.—Well, first, I must "pro
liminate," as Parson B. says, that hard
times eoDo from waste.
Charley. —Oar Bridget's waste, for
example 1
Maggie.—Be quiet, please, and do
not interrupt the speaker.
Charlie.—Beg par Jon. lam all at
tention.
Maggie.—ln tbe United States, in
1870, $1,500,000,000 worth of intoxioa
ting driaAs and 8810,000,000 worth of
tobacco were consumed ; the expendi
tures for lioentiousnees were as much
more, giving a total of fit,720,000,000
wasted m the gratification of three appe
tites. Suppose this sum was saved. It
would give to each of tbe 8,000,000
families in our laud a free rental of $200;
four barrels of flour at s7—s2B • one
barrel of pork, $22 ; one barrel of beef,
sl3 ; six barrel* of potatoes at s2—sl2 ;
three barrels of apples at s4—sl2 ; 100
pounds of sugar at thirteen ots., sl3;
forty pounds of batter at thirty -five eta.,
sl4 ; one suit of clothes for the father,
SSO ; one suit of clothes for the mother,
$45 ; throe suite of clothes for the chil
dren at $25 —$76 ; annual premium on a
life insurance policy of $1,500, $47.
Total, $528 for each family, still leaving
$8,500,000 surplus unexpended.
Charlie—Maggie, you astound me!
You have surely mails soma great mis
take!
Maggie—Well, run over the figures
for yourself. You are sur
prised than I was, but 1 can find no
error in the calculation. The amount at
liquor and tobaooo consumed is aa
officially reported in the United States
census. The estimate of the amount
wasted in lhMotiou&nem is my own, but
certainty far within the truth. Now, if
wo could have our projKjrtion of tboee
articles given to ne this year, I think
that we might live comfortably, even
with the diminished trade. Certain'y if
all this amount were saved but for a
single year, the hard times would vanish.
Charlie.—You're s jewel, wifey! But
if hard times are to remain until men
cease their indulgences, I fear that pros
perity is vi ry far off. As for mjtwL I
can give up my wine without much self
denial, but my cigars have become a
necessity I
Maggie.—Oh, Charlie, don't say that.
It makes mo shudder; not that smoking
is so very distasu-ful to me, but your
pies of necessity looks so like a surren
der of manliness to the power of an evil
habit.
Charlie.—Well, to my sorrow, I must
confess that whenever I have attempted
to break off the habit lias floored me,
and I have oome out aecond best every
time.
m*m fie.—Perhaps you did not try is
the right war.
Charlie.—l joat tossed my cigar into
the street, aud mid I wouldn't use an
other, and didn't until I lost my appe
tite, trembled all over like a leaf, loot
my power of recollection, and really
thought I would go crazy, or break
down in a general collapse, then 1 took
the weed and was aoon all right again.
Maggie.—Did yon crave it all that
timet
Charlie.—"Crave it I" I was stark
mad for it; dying for want of it.
Maggie. —Have yon never beard of a
method of cure, perfectly painless, in
stall tan eons, and so complete that the
craving never is felt.
Charlie, —Bosh! there isn't a medi
cine on earth that will do all that.
Maggie—Bnt suppose that a number
of credible witnesses testify that they
have been personally cured in that wmy't
Charlie.—lf they are really credible
witnesses, aud testify to acts in their
own experience, I suppose they mast
be believed, bnt I should want to cross
examine thorn pretty closely first
Maggie.—l hey will not object, and,
if agreeable to you, we will invite one
of them, Mr. B, to tea to morrow, when
yon can quiz him all yon like.
Charlie.—All right; but now let ns
have some tea to night, after which I
will enjoy my Havana (if those terrible
statistics" wul keep oat of my head), in
anticipation of the marvelous reveal
moots of to-morrow.
• sees • • •
(Charlie, Maggie aud Mr. B. seated at
the table.)
Maggie.—Have your cup filled, Mr.
B.f
Mr. B.—No, thank you. Since I was
cored of my tobacco habit, I feel less in
need of stimulants than formerly, hence
rarely take more than a single cup of
tea.
Charlie.—That wouldn't serve meat
all. My thirst oalls for a greater quan
tity than that.
Mr. B.—Perhaps not so much thirst
as the crv of suffering nerves for stimu
lants under the depressing influenoe of
the narcotio in your cigars.
Charlie.—Well, whatever it be, an
other cup, Maggie, please; and now,
Mr. 8., will you have the kindness to
tell us about that wonderful core f
Mr. B.—With pleasure. The story is
very short. I had been a slave to tobac
oo in various forms for many years.
Had striven in vain to break off the
habit, taken various substitutes, but
judging of my condition by the impera
tiveness of tue craving, I was more en
thralled than ever. That thought
alarmed me; then, too, I resented the
implied impeachment of my manhood,
and at last resolved that, oost what
might, I wonld sometime give up iff!
use. Bnt the terrific strain of formers
efforts deterred me from beginning at
onoe. While in this state, I casually
mentioned my purpose and dread to an
old friend who had been oonverted not
long before, and had abandoned all his
bad habits together, when he surprised
mo beyond measure by exclaiming:;
"Why, 8., R'aall useless to have any
fnss about the thing. Just go to the
Lord Jesus on your knees and ask Him,
not merely to help yon to abstain, but
also to keep you from craving for it,
and Hell do it 1 I know He will, for I
tried it, and have never hail a desire for
it since. Just the same with the desire
for strong drink. He swept the board
for me, and I've been a free man ever
since. Glory to His blessed name!"
The earnestness and sincerity of my
NUMBER 1.
friend affected me, MM! I at once caught
the inspiration of the hope. I laid my
tobacco quietly on the shelf in plain
sight, sought a place of retirement, and
there on my kuoea asked God to take
away the appetite, and believed that be
would do it immediately. I felt no
change Uydbd a oonsoiouaorafl of trnat
in Him to keep ma, and retained to my
seat; the eight of my tobaom kindled no
desire, and 1 have bad none since, The
victory was perfectly easy, and grandly
°°c£uriey.— Well, I've left the piety of
the household pretty much to this good
wife of mine, bat if that's what the Lord
does for those who trnat Elm, 111 take
some stock in that oonearn before it
rises on market.
Mr. B.—lt is " without money and
without price," salvation "Sato the
uttermost;" and "now is the aeoepted
tiiDf)."
Waa not Charlie's deoudon, though
qnaiatiy expressed, wisely made t
b4 of l Fawtlj of firlgaadk.
One of the bUefcest of all crimes is
kuoire M the Bonder tragedy of finm
The Bender family M ratdtol in
Montgomery county, Km—; the
family eon—led of "Old Man ' Ben
der, hie wife, hie daughter Kate and. hie
eon, a young mas who i A to BOOM con
siderable extent acquitted in the public
mind of much that is charged without
diatinotioo to Ida father, mother and
mater. The crime of the crowd eoo
aiated of m ordering from mercenary
motived, and burying span their way
aide premieea not fewer than nine per
Huua, all of them travelers, and aome of
them citixons of at least local promin
enoa. Though number of u idtu die
appearapoee bad occurred is Mont
gomery county, suspicion had not aet
i tied on the Bandera until after Dr.
York, brother of A.. M. York, the ex
poaerof ex-Senator Pomeroy, bad sud
denly "come np missing, aad when
ituaptcion had finally fallen upon the
family every member of tha tame aim
ultaneoualy disappeared. Sinoe their j
dtaeppear&uce no traoe of them has ever
been found, notwithstanding the moat
diligent search and the moat intr.oatc
plana and plotting* of detective bureana
the country over. All of lhl% until
within a few days, baa been accepted as
the eaaastial substance of what could be
discovered or explained relative to the i
preoedurn.
Very lately, however, an unexpected
solution of the matter haa been o&ml.
though aa yet U must not be aoeepted
I as oouclnaive. Fa— have come to fight
which point very strongly to the aup .
j>oition that a vigilant* .-.•m:;. went
to the Benders'boose, placed them in j
their own wagon, drawn by their own
horses, aad conveyed them to a secluded '
spot not far ofl, on the edge of e large
pond, aud there extorted a full amies- j
akm from them of all their Crimea, down
to the amalleet details. Alter this the
Benders were never heard of, and it is •
more than probable that their bodies
ware cur. -ft;,.* concealed. It will be re
membered that a few daya after this a
wagon WH discovered near this point,
to which a pair of boraas wen tied,
which was known to be Bender's prop-
erty. This waa aoon followed by the
announcement that the horns of the
Benders had been deserted.
It is aaid that Gov. Oabom wee ee
retly apprised of all these facta, wMeh
will aooount for the fact that, on the
part of the Kan— authorities, no sys
tematic effort hsa ever been made to ap
prehend toe Benders, and siorieaof their
capture elsewhere have only excited au
incredulous smile at toe (Mate capital.
EffctU of Frest.
Tbw workmen employed in * Milwau
kee shipyard, on vimting the dry-dock
one morning to commence the work of
the day, were surprised to find that the
Stat board wheel of the steamer Amasan
had been slipped off the shaft. How so
ponderous a pieoe of iron oonld have
been removed was s pnaale that wsrely
perplexed the men. On looking down
into the dock they discovered the wheel
lying there broken in two. An investi
gation of the cause of the unusual oc
curence dispelled the mystery and de
monstrated the power of frost. The
hub of the wheel, about fifteen inches
long, was slightly hollowed oat at the
©enter to admit of its being slipped on
without difficulty over an uneven por
tion of the shaft end. This recees wis
fall of water when the boat was placed
in the dock and the keying had been to
close that the liquid—about a pailful —
was exposed to the frost As the water
congealed under the sharp wintry at
mosphere of the night it expended end
burst asunder the five-inch walla of the
iron, and the broken wheel fell with a
crash.
A Wallaat OM tteatlemaa.
As an elderly couple were out walking,
a lady on the opposite aide of the
street tripped and fell down. The old
gentleman rushed across the street,
raised his hat, and offered to assist her
in any possible way. His wife followed
him across at a alow pace, and witness
ing his devotion to the stranger, she got
mad and shook her fist at him. ** It's
all right—it's all rigid," be whispered.
" Tee." she hotly exclaimed. " Here
an unknown woman stubs her toe, and
yon plow serosa the street to eat her up
with kindness. The other day, when I
fell down stairs, you stood and laughed
and chuckled and tickled your ribs, and
wanted to know if I was practicing for
a circus I"
That Oateaalal Fever.
A Brooklyn (N. Y.) physician who
■ ha* attendee. many oases of the charac
teristic fever that resulted from visiting
the Centennial, says that he is con
vinoed that tne cause was not the bad
Hanitary condition of Philadelphia, or of
tho Exhibition grounds, but the Pres
ence of fomits* in certain articles on
exhibition, which had been brought
from some of the worse plague spots of
tho earth—of Egypt, Afrioa, India,
Asia and Sonth Amerioa. The doctor
further adds that as a result of tho Cen
tennial we shall be inflicted with num
erous types or grades of fever hitherto
unknown to as.
The Lead.
The steamer Fanny was coming down
the tippof Mississippi loaded with pig
lead. 4§he was going over a shoal
{■lace the pilot gave the signal to heave
ho lead. The only man forward was
"Why don't you
you bltitflßad.'' The Irishman snatched
j> pigs of lead and threw it
fleSHfc The mate, in endeavoring
tojHDHum, lost his balance and fell
intodhe rfiir. " Why dont you heave
the f ad, and sing ont how muoh water
ihtwew?" "The lead is heaved, yer
honor, and tho mete's gone down to see
how mush water there is."
Though a Mohammedan who marries
a French girl is not required to renounce
his religion, he cannot contract a valid
marriage with another woman daring
her lifetime. These unions usually torn
out well and are extremely prolific, and|
the Arab husband submits passively to
the dominion o! his French consort,
as though he tacitlyaoknowledged himself
of an inferior race.
_ em
Dtra ta ka heftr*i, g s i ,,^', ra .*
JFisSttS JMEJWt Cti V
1 Dan with the awaji evsr to flgbi
DSN la be loving and pattso* ssak day
Dan speak ths troth whatever yeu say
, Dsn to be gaatieaed ordnety, tee,
Dan shea the erU whstevsr yea do.
Dan to apssk ktodly, sad ever bs tree,
Dan to do right, sad jrea'fi fled yew way
throne h.
Hems of Interest,
Professor Swing says that a bat won
on a bet " oomea down over the njwi ■of
the winner's souL"
A diftdeot man ie in a tight plaea
when be does not know what to aay and
is afraid to aay it.
Hhskcsptwro in hortiouiturw—" Tbnt
which we cauliflower by any other nam*
would smell as sweet."
A Parii fashion writer flays that ladies
have bonnets of seventy five different
thapfi* to choose front this fall.
On Deoember 31, 1870, Italy had s
population of 27,472,184 souK against
a population of 26,(101,164 on December
31,1871.
The wine orop of Fnnoe tkia yemr is
on usually huge, being at hird larger
than the vinee promised it the crat-wt of
the season.
There are esttmated to be over 1,000
Young Man's Christina A—nnltilMM fat
North America. The average number
of metabesa is 170.
A Bosahto regiment, experimenting,
swam, with <mehand on their bom*'
mattes, aeruas a river 230 feet broad in a
quarter of an hour.
The annual death rate in London now
avenges eighteen per 1,060; in Edaa*
burgh. twelve; in Okugow, twenty
ami • in Dublin, nineteen.
I Dr. CWpwNr beiierai in otrnflafag M
baUfuai drnuknr.i long em [fcto KM
I Btv food. wWmU aleuboL produce MW
healthy UMOM of the body.
linaaia ha* 170,000 wolves within Hi
boundaries, and tbay takajai lart
year not only an eoornou quantity of
cattle and poultry, but aim two hundred
Persona who have twrer fxied it don't
Icaow ho* mfraahina and invigorating it
ia lo ho abed oooT, bracing mornings
and lot their aire* go down and build
fate.
An Aoatio (Hew.) wife aaya ah* kw
at five b unbend* in thai town who have
been made drunkard* by the exciteasrct
of the lata political campaign, her own
httaband being one of the bomber.
For writing something bad. on Ilia
book at a postal card in PcUaddphie a
young man had to rerape infrthu SIOO
or co to jail, notwithstanding ha bid
the judge that be waa aorry for what ha
had done.
Williama Collage baa graduated thirty
member* at Cotigmm, five United
Otatao aanaloca, eight GWMOSJ sa
teen judges of the enprerwi court, thir
ty-two pmmdente of eoQvgee, and Wt
clergymen.
tb^nMrtariTof*the great
from the fiber of which good paper it
made. The bark may betaken from the
tree ooee in eight year# without injsjcy
to the tree.
A physician wrote a prescription, ami,
aa the patient went out of the room, said
to him: "Iwish you would lei me
know if that does you any good, for I
have mynaU beau very M> hmkltj
with rfanumatkn lately."
Dr. Oman having heard tbo lamaw
Thomas Foliar repeat amne veeaes on *
(welding wife, waa ao i with
them aa to request a oopy. "There in
co naneaaity for that," aud Fuller, "aa
you have got the original."
"Bee bare, Ocipps; 1 understand yon
have a superior way of earing bam*. 1
r. aid like to learn it." " Well, ye : i
know very well how to cure them; bat
the trouble with me, jurt now, it to tl. 1
, oat away to pro-cam them."
i When you me a young mum I
woman over too garden gale m
the twilight and hear a sound bkw the
i "squash" of a potato bug i <t '
i fanner's heel, yon lawtiaan iv i >1 thai |
. there bat been a climax of twoaoaa.
Tell us, angelic host, ye messehpnara |
of lore, shall swindled printer* .wire ha
i low hare no retlrese above f The shin
' ing angel's band repii-d : "To u* wi|
! knowledge given; Jilinfiliwitii on lit#
printers'books can never enter heaven."
Jeremy Beatham ones mid : • I
shoo! J wish that the years which I Have
yet to live could be passed e*. a it the
end of one of the centuries allowing
my death; I ebool.l then be a wi'teues erf
the influence which my works will -
erctae on posterity."
When a blear eyed, InM beaded
{ weather prophet is asked whether it is
going to be a bard winter, he shuts
one eye, looks at the ens with the other,
digs up a damp of graes, examines the
* roots, and says: "Id nt know." He
ia generally correct.
Mrs. Hoott, a nurse,* of Selkirk, Soot
land, has inet been tried for culpable
homicide, meKmuebss she gove a baby
twenty-four bonra okl three drops of
laudanum, causing death. She got off
' with six months' imprisonment b-cause
< "her Intentions were good."
Two gallons of whisky were con
sumed by a man in Arkansas before ha
folly recovered from the bite of a
tammtnla. It WM then discovered that
he had been stung by a wasp, The men
who contributed the whisky www too
mad to apeak above a whisper.
Chinamen with white wives axe com
mon in New York, bat in San Fraacbeo,
owing to violent hatred of the Cluata.
1 the first marriage of that kind greatly
I excited the public. The husband ia the
wealthy agent of a Chinsso company,
j and the wife ia a teacher ia a city mis
-1 aion.
Qay Fawkes day was celebrated
throughout England with unabated
j vigor this year. To forestall! dangerous
outbreaks m towns whew raiiiusry gar
risons were quartered, the aoldiera were
confined to barracks during the after
noon and evening, and the polios force
was augmented.
There will be five eelipewi in 1877, via.:
■ A total eclipse of the moon on February
' 27, visible m the United States ; a par
tial eclipse of the son on March 14, vis
ible in Western Asia; a partial eclipse
of the sun on August 8, visible in Alaska,
Kamchatka and the North Pacific
ooeaa ; a total eclipse af the moon on
August 23, partly visible in the Eastern
and Southern States,arid a partial eclipse
of the sun on September 7, visible in
South Ameriaa.
Let Brown Walk.
A gentleman was very much annoyed
;at night,by a person who was walkii g
heavily in the room above and unable lo
' sleep; he ascended to the room to ssesr
tain the cants, and found a man walking
up and down, apparently ia great dis
tress. Bin sympathy induced him to
inquire the cause. At first he could
get no response, and the man, with his
hair in his hands, still continued to
' pace the floor. At last, induced by the
kindly tone of his visitor, he stated the
1 cause of his great anguish. " I owe ay
friend Brown 8500, which I am utterly
unable to pay." "My friend," said the
gentleman. "I can give yon advice
which will relieve your distress."
I "What is it f" anxiously inquired the
distressed individual. "You have walk
: ed far enough," replied the gentleman.
• " My advice to you ia to go comfortably
to bed, and let Brown walk awhile."
The Air We Breathe.
You who live and move in crowded
rooms without ventilation, remember
that man's own breath ia his greatest
I enemy; that air once breathed is unfit
for respiration because, as Professor
Wilder says: "I. It has lost about one
i fifth of its oxygen. 2. It lias gained
i about an equal amount of carbonic acid,
! 3. Zt contains more or lets effluvium, an
organic matter capable of decomposi
tion. The organic matter in consider
able amount ia offensive, By decern po
sition it beoomss s poison."
1 I