Same Hay. 44 Some day,' 4 w ur, and turn our evr Toward the fair hill* of Para ' so. Borne day. some time, a nwaot new rw Bhall blossom. flower-like, m< ach l>real. Borne time, ecroe day. c.nr i vs shall The faces V.ept in men, rv Bome day their hand* aliall rla)> out hai >1 Juat over in th morning lands. Some day onr ear* shall hoar the song Of trinmph over sin *.id sroiiy. Bomedai, sims lime, t-.c ot, ! mu yet. Bat we shall wail and uoi forget That aom. da* all hee *Mnga ahall lis, And rest Is .nto to >> and me. Bo wait, my friend, though rear* move alow. The happy time will come we know. Would Wake 1> Hl* Wind. I wish he would make up hi* mind ma. For I do not care longer to wait; I am sure I have hinted unite strongly. That I thought shout changing my state ; For a sweetheart he's really so backward, I can t bring him out, though 1 try ; I own that he's very good tempered, But then he's so dreadfully ahv ! Vfheu I apeak about loveui a sot tags. He gives me a look Of ; And if 1 but hint at a marriage, He blnshes -put* up to his eyes. I can't make him jealous —l've tried it - And tie no nee my being unkind For that is not the way, I am certain. To get him to make up his mind I've sung him love sonnets hy doceua, I've worked him both slipper* and tnee. And we're walked out by moonlight together . Yet he never attempts to propoar ' You must realty ask hi* intention. Or aome ,her beau 1 must find ; For indeed 1 won't tarry much longer For one trbo can't make up hie mind. THE MIDXIHHT ROBBERS, Last night—yesterday Using my sev enteenth birthday—wc had a little muni cal jartv.' The people gotic, we, having eaten uj> all tlie sandwiches and a box of presemd cherries, repaired to our re spectivo bedchambers, Terv tired, very yawuy, and rather cross, as i* the way of odd jxxiple afler too prtdotigod u sjieil of their fellow-creatures society. 44 Susannah will lock up," said jatjm, somewhere below his second stu>L 44 Very well," gaped mamma ; and the door shut. Now I suppose I was too much excited to fall asleep easily, and for the last three days I have been puaaling my brains to find out how I had I utter have my new silk uiade. I don't care about basques, mid bustle skirts are my abomi nation ; anvbow, sleep I could not get. I turned ami twisted, and sat up aud lay down. No ;it was uo good. At length, however, 1 dozed off; but through my slumbers .amr noises, strange grating noises, as of rtower-pots I wing moved, or a fire being raked oat. I took no notice. I knew that Susannah did always rake the fire out Ixjfore she went to tied, so I BUJl posed she was jwrforming that au gust ceremony. But lie fore Kmg three tremeudous bangs at the hall door fairly woke me up. I listened. Was the hoase on fire i A minute, and scroop went a window. 44 Who's there 1" bawled papa Botaebody growled something. A policeman, I th ought, and shook all over. Then Susannah opened her door and came running down stairs. Maria would sleep through a railway accident. " What is it?" said Aunt Jane, coining oat of her room, which is next to mine. "Oh, don't yon trouble, 'm," answer ed Susannah ; "you go to bed. I'll see to itand hurried on. I lay and quaked. For a while all was quite still —so still that I felt impelled to get up and listen ; but harely had I reached the door when quite frightful sounds be sieged my ears—sounds a of people scuffling, mingled with screams. " Policeman !" I yelled. " Police man—murder—fire !" Anything yon like to mention. Out dashed papa; out dashed Aunt Jane. "For goodness' sake,' cried mamma, "don't go down like that; you'll be killed to a certainty. Why, you haven't even got a poker !" I flew to the fireplace. "Here," I said—"here, papa!" and thrust out the familiar implement. But he was gone. I caught a glimpse of tin- tail of Aunt Jane's red flannel dressing-gown as it whisked round-the turning. Our stair case is a wonder. It seems to have wriggled out of the mind of the architect who designed this tenement much as a worm will out of a pea. " What ever is the matter 1" demanded I of mamma, who seemed fit to drop. " He's run through the garden !** screamed Susannah. " Oh, the rascal ! Policeman 1" "Good gracious gasped mamma. Through the hall hire a large and helmetetl person in blue, and out at the garden door. Out tore Susannah. Whether Aunt Jane joined in the chase I am not sure; but she ha* got bron chitis. "Spring your rattle!" roared paps, who seemed to have secreted himself, from feelings of modesty possibly, in the pantry. The policeman sprung his rattle ac cordingly, and having done so, seemed well satisfied. At all events, he speedily came back again. " Have you got him 1" inquired papa. "Lor, no, sir," says Susannah (who, I may here mention, is our cook); " 'e's gone arf a mile by this time. E- f this young man"— "My dear woman," broke in otir guardian of the peace, "is there no male person in this bouse, that you mast needs go and willfully endanger your precious life I" "lor, yes," replied Susannah, "there's master, ain't there f" " Then," said the policeman, " I con sider it was your duty to let him come down and see what could he done." "Of coarse, of coarse," said papa, coming out of his retirement, and seem ing to knock down a wine glow. Mam ma groaneil, and clutched my arm dread fully as she heard the smash. " You presume this man effected an entrance through the kitchen window, police man ?" "Presume!" exclaimed Susannah, who is a west-country woman, and as hot as a live coal. "I fo%-id the rascal 'addled up be'ind the door. 'E'd opened the window and pinned up the blind, and I make no doubt wn looking about for a knife just to cut all our throats. " Very likely," said the policeman. " There's some desperate bail charac ter* about. Why, only last night as I was"— " Hadn't you better make a thorough search fir the wretch ?" here came in Aunt Jane. '• He may have got under the shed." " What shed, miss ?" inquired the policeman. "Why, the tool-shed at the end of the garden, to be sure." Aunt Jane detests being called "miss," and can't "abide a blockhead." "My dear Jane," interposed papa, " how oouid this good man know that ? If "you will wait a minute, police man, I'll go and get on some clothes and come with you." " Very good, sir," said the policeman; and up stairs papa came, looking more singular perhaps than ever he did in his life before. His appearance, however being rather picturesque than elegant, I will here draw a veil. No sooner was he in sight than mamma became hysterical. "Oh, Hotspar," cried she, "the sil ver f" and fell back on my shoulder with such weight that I took up a sitting po sition on the floor. "Jane," called papa, " come and see to these two foolish creatures. Get up, you donkeys. Why, the fellow's gone! There's nothing to be frightened at now. I and the policeman are going to scour the neighborhood." "Help mamma," I panted; "*he is dying!" "Indeed, Jane," said mamma, "I knew it would coma to that, sooner or later," KItKD. Kl T l!'rZ. TCditor niut Proprietor. VOL. VIII. 44 We11."' said Aunt Jane, who had just male her ajipearwnee, 44 ami what in the world is all tins about t Juat get up at once, Amelia' 44 44 Mamma's hysterical,' 4 I nd. 44 Has the man taken anything f 44 44 Wo duu't know." 44 lbrt the silver's safe !" 44 Yee," said jajv* ; 44 at least it was five minutes ago." " Thank God!" said my mother, ami took a tn-sh lease of life. Much mheved, 1 summoned courage to get a shawl and a pair of slippers, ami crweji tiowu stair®. The gas was lit in the passage aud itining r\xim. I coald lu ar vons-s iu the kitchen. Afraid of the sound of my owu feet even, 1 listen ed a little to assure myself that uo new alarm oeed lie apprehended, ami tins was what I overheard : Policeman 44 There's nothing lad mire more than sjiirit anywhere." Susannah 1 don't kuow much about spirit. I wish 1 knew what was come of that there latchkey. If that's gone 'twill be a pretty job." Policeman— 44 1 mippoee, now, yon'iu got a fairisli place (" Susannah— 44 That I 'ave l' 4 Pohcemau — 44 But you're not the only one." Susannah — 44 Bless you, no ; there's Maria, she's the 'oust< tuaid ; and Jem, 'e cleans the knives aud shoes." Policeman— 44 1 see. Well, you're a wonderful gixxl jiluekisl un, any'ow. Blowtsl if I should 'avo cared to do what yon did ! ' Susannah— 44 1 dare say not. You diilu't sell iu a great urry to come when I called you. 1 thought YOU d 'ave jumped iu at the window. You'd 'ave caught 'un then." Policeman—Not I. "E's be*-n at this sort of game for the last seven years. I'liat's a nice 44 But here an eldritch screech rang through the house. It wus 1! Mouton, the cat, liad takeu advuntage of my abetractiou to mount the balusters tnd jump on to my shouliler. The sluvk was terrific. I shook like a jell v. 4 Bless tne ! x * cried Aunt Jane, '' w bat's the matter now t" 44 1 tell you," bawled jaj>a, hurrying down, on vengeance Iwut, 44 1 won't have such folly. Go off into the diuiug rooni and shut the door, or to bed, which vou like ; but—but In-have voarself like a rational creature, or not another new gown do you have for the next ten years. And now, jKilkvnuui, b> the chase." " I do wish," said Susauuah, as tliey set off. " that they'd 'ave lt mo go along with 'em. I'm sore I eould g t over the fences a vast deal easier than master, and as for seein' in the dark "—- "Oh no, Susannah," 1 said, "don't yon leave ns on my account. What a mercy the man didn't hurt von! Did you try to catch hold of him i" " Lor, y<, miss; seized is ooat, and tried to tear a hit out with all my might. I'd 'ave clawed 'is face well, if 'e'd at tempted to lava fingercn me ; bat when 'e looked that soared, the coward—well, some'ow, I couldn't mialest 'im." "No, to tie sure not," said mamma, who had just shivered herself down. "It is all for the best. We ought to IK verv thankfuL" Aunt Jane vowed that she'd buy a re volver to morrow, and practice shooting a* a mark two hours every morning, ami —Susannah discovered that she knew the man as well as she knew me. "Why, air," said she, washing her hands, when papa and til • policeman bail returned to shake their hi ads and lament the uselessnossof their endeavors (they hail trampled down gixHlnwß know* how many cabbages, smashed a v-ucumU-r frame, and upset a Ixe In ve il 1 Indulging to our neighbors— to no earthly purpose)—"why, sir," said Su atuiah. " I'm most certain 'tis that man who used to work at Ma* m's, the oil shop." "You dou't say so!" said papa "That man—why, I thought he was uncle to the milklxiv!" "So he is, sir," said the policeman, j " And that boy, sir, *s nothing much to -qieak of. I hear tliat his master's very doubtful of him. We expect to give hiin a night's lodging before long." " Dear me," said mau-.ma; "why it aeems that the air teems with thieves !" " I shouldn't much care a!* >ut the iir," remarked Aunt Jane ; it's the earth I'm concerned with." Whereupon we all felt bound to laugh; and the policeman, saying that we should " liave some one down " in the qioming, I nicked out into the pas-age to have a little private conversation with Susannah about the man who used to work at Mason's, the oil shop, and thence into the street. A little while, and we were all ill bed again, and the house done np as tight as a drum or a sardine tin. Today, from the first pis p of dawn, i. ., half-flast nine a. m., when I woke, till now, four o'clock in the afternoon, Susannah has been "giving particulars." First came two ileieotivcs, "wonderful fine men both," she tolls me, but the one with a Roman nose is most to her task-; then the owners of the cabbages and the cucumber frame and liee-hive, the hitter a stout little old gentleman in black and a "hovel hat, ami a tremendous passion. Pajia weut and hail it out with him; and having spluttered and blustered away till they were tired, they made it up, and finally set off, arm in arm, to search for footsteps. One was found on an ash-heap, and immediately covered up with a im-ket, as if it was alive and would run away. Bines- th n the bell and knocker have had a stifflsh time of it. Jem, our boy, was given the first numtier of f\amy Folk*, and told to sit in the hall on purpose to play porter, Maria declaring that her legs would snap under her if she had much more mnuing. Let a rnan own but n potato, he must needs set off here fiost haste to know if the thief could have fled over it. When the List ring came— it was the thirty-second; I counted them—l said to Aunt Jane : " What in the world can this man have come about?" " My dear," said she, " be is the proud possessor of half a Brussels sprout." Decemlier 2.—Nothing is known. Busaunsli has Ix-en confronted with the man who works nt Mason's. Bhe says he is not at all like what she thought, and not the h-ast like our burglar. The Roman-nosed detective calls every two hours, aud seldom stays less than one. December 3.—This morning the Itoman-Dosed one came to take Bnsan nah to see a man who was painting a house in Camplx-11 terrace. It occupied three hours. lias evening the fish was a shapeless wreck, owing to this orna ment of bis native land naviug come in, just as dinner should have been served,* to ascertain the precise color of our burglar's coat. Decemlier A.—Tim milklioy has been arrested. We are all agog. We feel so certain something will lie found out now. December s.—Nothing has lieen found out; but this morning, after mamma had ordered dinner, Busannnli informed her that she should like to leave at Christmas, if she could make it convenient. " Leave!" said mamma, looking astonished. " Why ? ' "Well, 'm," simpered Susannah, " I'm going to be married." "Indeed!" said mamma. "I hope you hare made a good choioe." "I think no, 'm," was the smiling answer; " leastways, so far as I can jndfl*." THE CENTRE REPORTER ** Ami who in it t" inquired my moth er. " Not the liakftr?" "Lor, no, "m," *nl Susannah, get tiug quite red. 44 The baker, indeed!" 44 lit toll TOO, mother," AAID I, sagely —I wu Itwitiiug Mouton to lxg for a eoeoanut droj> by the tiro "it's the Roman ihwil detective. Now isu't it, Susannah t" Susannah smiled. So if our burglar did nothing else—a tuxjienuy bit and four jawtege stamps worn *ll bo got ho has contrived to rob us of our *xk. L Church Debt*. Tlii way in which diireb edifices sre built nowaday*, says Dr. Holland of Seribntrr't Monthly, really u> vena ita tee a uw formula f ikhliistiun. How would this read < "Wo dedicate thi* edifice W Til or. our Lord and Muster; wo give ' ft to Thee and Thy cause and kingdom, subject to a mortgage of one hundred and fifty thousand dollar* ($150,000). We lieoueth it to our children and our children'* children, a* the greatest boon we mn confer on thorn (subject to the i mortgage aforesaid), ami we trust that : they will have the grace and the money to pay the mter<*it and lift the mortgage. Preserve it from tire and foreclosure, we pray Thee, and make it abundantly useful to Tbyaalf—subject, of course, to tlie aforesaid mortgage. " The offering of a structure to tlie , Almighty, as the gift of an organization i of devotees who UaTe not paid for it, and do not owu it, strikes tlie ordinary miud as a very strange thing, vet it is safe to say tliat not one church IU twenty is built iu America without incurring a debt, larger or smaller. A more com modious and a more elegant building is wanted. A sulwcriptiou is made that will not more than half cover its cost, and money enough ia borrowed t> com plete it. The whole property is niort gaged for all that it will curry, the finan cial authorities are saddled with a float iug debt which they can only handle ou their personal resjiossihility, and then come taxation for interest, auillcieut to keep the church always in distress. This sort of church enterprise is so ooui mon tlmt it luts become common plana. The cliildreu of this world do not build railroads with capital stock paid in, but they build them with bonds. * The chil dren of light really do not smua to lie less wise in their generation, in the way in which thev build their churches. In deed, we tlnnk the latter can give the former several jaunt* and l*ut them; for the jaying success of a churcii de iends more upon contingencies tlian the success of a nulruod, and its lx>nds really ought not to sell for more than titty Cents on the dollar 44 flat." If we seem to make light of this sub ject, it is only for the purpose of show ing how uWurd a position the church'** have aa-umed in relation to it. It is not a light sul >Jpet ; it is a very grave one, ami one wuich demands the immediate and persistent attention of all the church es until it shall be properly diapaetxi of. In the first place, it is not exactly a Christian act for a laxly of men to con tract a debt which tie y are not able to pay. It i< hardlv more Christian to re fuse to |>uv a debt which they know they are a bio to discharge. It can hard ly le regard.vl as a generous deed to bo .jneatb a debt to succeeding generations. The very foundations of the ordinary church debt are rotten. They are rotten with pisir morality, jxior financial policy, nd personal and sectarian lauity. Does any one snpjKiae that tin-*- cxpeu -ive and debt laden churches were erect ed simply for the honor of the Muster, and given to Him, subject to mortgage! The results ot Luilntng churelie* njx>n such au unbound b.t-is are Imd enough. The first result, perhaps, is the extin guishm.-ut of all church lienelic-uo*. l*he church debt is thea|xi!ogy for deny ing all ap|M-als for aid, from all the greater and smaller chanties. A church sitting in the shadow of a great debt, is " net at home" to caller*. They Jo not pay the debt, but they owe the money, and tin y are afraid they shall be obliged to jMy it. The heathen must take care of themselves, the starving must go without bread, the widow and the father less must look to the God of the widow and the fatherless, the si. k must pine, and the |>oor children grow tip in vaga bondage, liecanso of this awful church debt. All the meanness in a church skulks Ix hind the debt, of which it in tends to pay very little, while all the nobleness fx>ls ri ally JSST, la-cause it is conscious that the debt is to be paid, if paid at all, by itself. Mow wall Jackson. Rev. Florence McCarthy, of Chicago, who knew Stonewall Jack*on intimately, has given sonic jiersonal incidents of him. He seys: One c<>mical peculiarity of Jackson was his talent for going to sleep. When I lived in Lexington it was a well-known fact tliat the major, notwithstanding his punctilious attend ance at church, had never heard Dr. White preach. About the time that the second hymn was sung he invariably went to the land of nod, whence he re turned only when aroused by the last hymn. It was -aid that this habit was tue eflect of di ease, and could not lie helped. It billowed him all through life, and I saw him yield to it once in the army. On one Sunday, somewhere in eastern Virginia, I rrmrnilmr attend ing a preaching service in front of Gen. Jackson's headquarters. The general oat at the preacher's right hand on a backless camp stooL As the sun was very hot and there was no shade, he held his cap in his right hand lietween his head and the snn, his reverence not per mitting inni to place it on his head, as many others did theirs. With his hand elevated in that way, he ja-acefully glided off into dreamland and slept with out moving hia arm or nodding otfoe, until the noise of the closing exercises startled him into consciousness again. The truth is, Gen. Jackson always look ed an if he were asleep ; and even when walking he had the appearance of a som nambulist. It was said that on ona occasion a numls-r of the cadets of the Virginia militury institute, of which Jackson was a professor, mounted the barracks at the hour when Jaekson had to walk under the eaves of the house, and dropped brickbats in front of bim as he walked along, endeavoring to see bow near they could come to his head without hitting it. As this trick was played at the im mediate risk of killing the innocent pro fessor, it would hardly be lielii-ved that the cadet* would practice it, unless the reader was first informed that these ca dets were generally reckless, riotous, irresponsible, and unscrupulous des peradoes. It is saiil that they succeed ed admirably in making all the bricks graze Prof. Jackson's nose. But to their utter surprise the major did not look up, nor around, nor quicken his pace at all. He possessed such extraordinary nerve and determination that he treated the whole performance with icy contempt. A Man Who Does hot Laugh. An English traveler, Mr. ilartshorne, gives an acconnt of the Weddas, a wild tribe which lives in the interior of Cey lon. These Weddas are about five feet high, live on water and roast monkeys, and are, he reports, incapable of laugh ter. After trying every way to make their chief laugh, and failing, he asked, in amazement, whether they ever laughed. " No," replied the Wedda ; " why should we? What is there to laugh at ?" CENTRE HALL, CENTRE CO.. PA., THURSDAY. OCTOBER 14, 1875. A lake Captain. Tlie Cleveland /etufur gives the fol lowing brief sketch of tlie life of Caj>taiu Scott, the owner of tlie sunken utonmer Ki|tuuox: Captain Uwight Scott, who went down with the ill fated jvpunox, was aUmt fifty three years old, amtoaiue to this city from Couueoticut when a little more than tw Cleve land he followed the trade of a pamb r, and did mneh iu the way of jaunting veuinela. In this btisinesa he was no sue cceefnl that twenty years ago lie was able to purchase an interest in a vessel, which lie then rej>*irel ami named Uur eruor Cusluuau, ui honor of a governor of Counectieut by tliat nauio, with whom he lived WIMHI a Isiy, ami wloni< memory he held in the higtieet esteem. Cajitaiu S. Caldwell and the Ironside, which wns blown tij> marly three v<-ar ago at Buf falo. Iu the management of tluwe ves sels he sjielit the greater part of the time since LvVi, always sailing willi theiu when ou the lakes, ami sjieudiug his winters either at his residence on Cove avenue, in Uockport, just beyond the city limits, or in lietroit. He ** not a profewsioual lake ivijitaui, ami never at temjited to command a vernal, but re ceived the title of 44 Captain" from bis love for the water and bis long connec tion with the truflic of the lakes. He left Cleveland at the opening of navigatiou last sjirtug, since when he has not visit ed his home. His business was between Saruia and Chicago, ami was of a gen eral character. Caj>tain Bc>>tt was a widower, and had but one child, Min uie, a young lady in b-r nineteenth year, who weut down with the ill-fated vessel. She was a student iu the convent at De troit, where she eutered three years ago, remaining then for only a year. At the exjiiratiou of this time she returned home ami jmaaed a year iu the Cleveland oonveut, when she went l>a<-k t> Detroit and remained till the close of tlie school year ui July. She theu joined her lather ou the lakes for the juirjxise of jstssing her vacation, as was her wout. She was accoutj>ani< d bv a daugbier of Capl. Scott's stepson, who now resnlra at the reaidenoe near the M<-lnc Houae. This young lady was fifteen years old, and was about to enter the Detroit oon veut with her elder oomjaunoa. lk-th were laditsi of rart> endowments of heart, and niiud, and leave many in this city to lament their sml and untimely end. f 4 < r son.dly, D tright Scott was a genial, whole-soulevl geiitlvman, who enjoye,! the company of friends and acquain tancee, ami jwMeeaaed a natural love for the water. I)rtrlt Free I're** Cirrrary. A Chicago ch rgyman *y be never wn no familiar with Satan an when ruling over a cobble* touo puVcturnt. '• rw iwlvertiidilg {my I" Well, you jn*t atlrertine the opening of a free lunch e.HtabliKhiuent aiiil w.ut reeulu. mil, which of late jeers have been very ac&roe in Connecticut, are this year ei|HcttHl to be vury plentiful. The moral of the f-.alure of the Cali fornia lUuk tun to lie: Don't try to sprea.l yoiinwlf over too many egg*. When they cutcli a man gathering Delaware peaclie* at mhluight they ore *erve Whatever guoti truita he has in him by rhootiiig half a pint of aait into hia lega. A beautiful S-m Francisco girl baa l*v cooio a maniac. the ivxult of " cram ming" fur li*r school nhihitiuo. 11*r U*t school reeds: " Highly dis tiuguislusl in her clasae*." Tlere i* one town in New Eugbuid tliat claims to Is- entirely happy and good. It is Eaton, in New Hampshire. There is not a physician, doctor, lawyer, drinking saloon or pauper in the place. Ih' guarded in your conversation. There ore times when yon may freely express your opinion on apolitical can didate, hut you had letter wait until his friends are over in the next county visiting. If there is anything that will cause the belated night-wander r to hasten homo and take his scolding like a man, it is to pans a beer saloon, and catch the soul harrowing strains: " Darling, I am growing old." New Cure for Hay Fever. A Reading (Pa.) physician has just tried a novel treatment for hay fever— animal magnetism—and, to his own surprise, as well as that of his jsitient, atforded relief in a few minutes. The ease lias not been entirely cured, though the severity of the disease has been greatly mitigated. The first symptoms appeared alstut three week* ago in the patient, who is a man alswt thirty-five years old, and when his nostrils ami re spiratory organs were so seriously affect •d that he nearly suffocated, the laying on of hands by the physician oansed entire freedom in breathing, and every indication of the disease to tlisap|sar in ten or fifteen minutes. A reporter asked the doctor how he could reooncilc this mode of treatment with the theory that hay fever was caused by the initia tion of spores, and he replied tliat the only explanation he could give was that the magnetic influence strength ened the affected organs and enabled them to throw off and resist the disease oansed by the presence of |K>llen. That the peculiar and mysterious agent—aui mal magnetism or "odie force," as Hichcnliach, the German chemist, calls it—relieves tho jsitient afflicted with hay fever, the doctor is certain, bnt he is not so snre of his explanation as to how it does it. In the treatment he applies his hand to the bank of the neck of the patient, to hia chest, forehead, etc , mid makes tho usual downward passes in front of the person. The patient is still nnder treatment, and what the ultimate result will he, a perfect cure or not, ia yet to be ascertained. The Golden Eule. A few e met by a rumor that sent him back in haute. Just twenty five minntes had elapsed. The teller's little door WM shut. The money was gone. Had it been stolen I Was the bunker a swindler? No, he hail failed. About the same time, a merchant re ecived a large quantity of good* one day near the close of business hours. He made some commonplace excuse for not making immediate payment, and promised to send n check the next morn ing. Tho first announcement of the morning was that he had failed. He had the good*, but the real owner was without nis check. Was tho merchant a thief? Ought he to have gone to jailf Not at all. He had merely suspended. He was nnable to meet hia obligations. Two young men were recently brought into one of our ixilice courts on a charge of stealing shoes from a store. They ware decent in appearance, and it was believed by some that they had been driven to crime by want. Had they I failed, or had they suspended ? Or was it l>ecauso they were unable to meet ] their obligations ? Not at all. They were thieves—common thieves—very common thieves. They were sent to the penitentiary for two months. The Ha*at*r<> at Woody Brook Tht two hundredth anniversary of the Imttle of ltl.Hi.ly Mr.s.k was celebrated I>V the Janiple of KnoeX iv.illltv, Mtl->nu cfiusetta Hi.- buttle of Itkvnly Hrook occurred during King Philip'* war; in foot it wan j.r.-t i.i.Hy the Ix-giiiutug 111.' strife l*tweeU tlr New Kuglolid <> - - and that crafty lu.liau monarch. History tclla iw that Maenos'.it, the g.sal .•hi. f of th WuiujiauoagH, ami lt friend of the whit.- won, had two anna, Wamautta (called Alexander) and Meta rem (called Philip). Philip wan by na turn ambition* ami jealous. 11 > watched withogiu tho wur lx fore hia allioa woro prepared for it. Philip'a allioa woro tho Nip mucka, tho Agawama, tho Nouotuoka, tho S.juakhoagM, tho Pooomtucka. Oil tho first of Hepteiuber tho aottlomont of Oeerfield waa attacked; moat of ita housoa wor.< burned and 1.1.nnl waa ahod. Northtiold waa afterward abandoned, and l>eartlehl waa loft tho " frontier" northern sottl. inont On tho twelfth of SojitomtH-r tho Indiana made a second attaok on tbia village and burned mora liotiaoH, and tlio then all wont to llodley. Tho tlol.la of IWrtlold, how ovor, wore covered witli ri| n-tonl grain, and Cajitaiu Thouiaa Lalkrop, acooin jauii.nl bv forty six young men, "tho fiowwr of fcaaex," wont out to bn.rv.wt tho wheat. While resting near aome wild grujn. viuoa thoy wore attacked by six hun.tr.nl Indiana, urrn.nl with rifle*, laithrup waa kill.nljat tile first allot, and iijyrtfe ad lua ouJßpant.ms fell before the Cajitain Moacly, who had romaiti.nl at tho Uadloy gamaou, haatou ou.nl to tho aput with seventy men and fought the Indiana for five hour*. When it waa all over sixty white men lay dead by tho aide of a hi.sal covered stream of water, which tho suriivoranamed Moody Brook. King Philip'a war continued far into tho next year. Co-operatire Farming lo Lnglantf. The English lals>r movement is turn iug to aouie extent toward eo-o{*r*Uve fanning, and several aocietica have ls-en organised, with constitutioua and by laws somewhat complicated, but still with wise pro visions. It aeetus now tliat a co ojMirative farm was organized ro long ago a I*3U, aud its success is a de cided encouragement for other*. The caac is tliat of a Mr. liordoo, living in Suffolk, at no great distance from una don, at a place .ailed Arlington, who at the time mentioned called hia lalsuvrw together and proposed tliat they ahoitld take aixtv scree at moderate rent and farm it on the co-operative plan. That tlicy might have capital he advanced £4UO for tea years without interest, but em'h laborer was to invest as a guar antco of good faith. .Alter overcoming some difficulties, mostly on account of the disinclination of the ltd ore r* litem selves, tlie {>lsn was put iu operation, and at the eloeo of the tell y-ars tlu-J had saved enough to pay the £4OO. As the nuuils-r of oo operator* was fifteeu, they made ultoiit sld a year, Itosulea the regit iar wages {mid them. This is certainly a suinll sum, and yet there are manv labor ers even in America who do not have so much at the end of teu years. After that five more member* came in. and three more farms were taken and worked with money borrowed at two and a half js-r cent., and tliey hired eight 1 lauds in addition. A dairy is uttuchod, which is conducted by the manager s wife, who receive# £lO a vear, or about £1 a week. The rules are simple. Meetings are held four times a year for settling ac counts. * One provision is that coal is bought in bulk at wholesale and de livered to the members at cost, and other supplies are furnished in the same war at a co-operative store. The farm now consists of l:u acres of rather light land, though there is fair pasturage. The stock kept consists of six hones, sixteen cows, 110 sheep, pigs, poultry, and a few fatting bulb* ks. Many of the mein bcra have quarter acre allotments at tached to their cottages, for which they jay a rent of three pence a rod, or £2 in acre, free of all taxes and charges. This is only $2.50 for the ground, but, as these allotments are dug over with the syuidc, and highly fertilised, the yield is sufficient to support a small frugal family. Tho lalturcrs have no desire to immigrate, and thev have remained on the place, unless they hava died, until the present, that is forty five years, and they protest against all strikes. It is trne they are poor and humble, but they feel contented, and so happy even, that they wish tlie laliorors of every parish were as well aituated. How to Wake Up. A medical writer does not approve of the old doctrine which formerly was instilled into the minds of children— that they should spring ont of lied tho instant they are awukc in the morning. He says up to eighteen years old every child should lie allowed to rest in lied, after the sleep is over, until they feel as if they would rather get np than not. It is a very great mistake for persons old or young—especially children, or seden tary persons—to bounce out of lied at the moment they wuke up; all the in stincts shrink from it, and fiercely kick against it Fifteen or twenty mhmtes s|M>nt in gradually waking up, after the eyes are opened, and in turning over aud stretching the limbs, do as much as good sound aleep, because the operations set the blood iu motion bv degases, tends ing to equalise the circulation; for dur ing aleep tho blood tends to stagnation, tho heart beats feebly and slowly, find to shook the system by bouncing up in an instant and sending tho blood in over whelming quantity to tho heart, causing it to assume a gallop, wLere the iustiuit before it was a ereep, is tho greatest ab surdity. This instantaneous bouneing ont of Issl as soon as the eyes are open will lie followed by n weariness long before noon. Helping Your Neighbor, In certain parts of New Jersey, if a man wants to move his family and effects, he makes a moving ; his wife works hard, bakes cakes and pies and bread, etc., dresses chickcu., and in fact gets ready for a feast ; then they invite twenty or more to come with their teuniK. All go to work, atul move the family in a very short time, each hiking a loath When they get to the house, they put up the stove aud some of the women go to cooking tho meat and vegetables, while the rest set the house in order ; then after that they have their j dinner, for they think a good deal of eating down there. To wind up with, perhaps, they will have a frolic. THE BOY IX CHI K( 11. M. Mail! Ttlli the tlrseWtr Akasi Ik* (gill* H,> ma nmmdrnt. lie waa playing at tlie gaU* M 1 Went past, and I heard his father uail out. 44 Boy, you want to gallop in here and get ready for nns-ting 1" 44 Shi f" briefly replitsl the tad. 44 Shi! I'll shi you. young man. if you don't trot iu here lively J You'd lie as laid aa Jeaae Poiueroy II loft without a father for three months I" " I would, hey f" " Nil mini, ymuig iittu —it' time you were getting ready for church 1" Tim minister wo* giving out hia text when the boy and inn father came iu. There waa i* malderable improvement iu the lad'a looks. Hta tuur had lieeu greased and com lied, he had on hi* Hun day Jacket, and there waa a religious look ID hia eyes aa he fell into the pew. I ought to have listened oloaely to the aertnou, but I did not. The boy and hia father were in the j>ew next ahead, and 1 couldn't help but watch him. He got along very well for the first ten minutea. Then he aaked hia father what time it was. and when the {talent replied with a warning tdiake of the head tlie boy cast around him for aume thing to interest his mind. The preach r nettled down to hia discourse and the bov settled down to bis plan of wearing away the coming hour. He reached over and got hold of hta father's ailk hat, and waa Lryiug to remove the Ixuid when the parent took it away and bent over and wblnjtered: "Boy, if you don't pay attention to the preacher 1 *ll break your neck when we get home !" The lad fixed hiaeyeaou the clergyman. He aaw that the good man had auburn hair, blue eyes, tlorid complexion, and waa well dreeaed. He heard him make use of such worda aa " fortuitous," " unexampled," and "repellant," and without being aide to tell whether they referred t* a new kind of string beana or the gospel of Christian light, he reached out and seeurcd hia father's aaue. He punched at several files, wrainincd the silver h<-ad into hia mouth until he turned purple in the faoe, and finally reached over and jabbed a women under the left shoulder. Hia father then grasped the cane, laid it away, and wins jtered : "Young man, I'll tan the hide ofTn you when we get home!" The words were iutended to make the boy ] sty strict attention to the Istiauoe of the sermon. He straightened U|l, looked at th preacher again, and tried hard to understand the discourse. The good man was trying to explain the difference between theoretical and practical Chris tiauity, and in two minutes the lad's eyes were flied on the chandelier*. He counted the uumlwr of burner# over and over again, and forgetting himself for an instant be began to sing. Hia father gave him a kick and leaned over and w his pens. 1 : "Ob! boy, I'll make you huuo> the minute * get into the house!" Know ing that liia father would keep his word, but yet hoping to break the force of the pcMmectivc " peeling " by being real good fr the ni xt half hour, the lioy faced the clergymail og.tin. He knit his brow* ami plainly showed bis dderwuM t ion to understand aud in ten st htmaelf iu all tliat was said. The g>-.l uian was drawing a parallel, and a dozen of tlie church mruil* r* wens half aalecp. It was discouraging, aud after two or tlirce minutes the loy got hold of a bit at paper, wadded it up, stuffed it into his mouth, aud chewed it awhile, and then balancing the wad on his thiuub. he ele va Us I it ten feet towanla the celling. The law of gravitation applies topa|>Ar wads aa well as to iron weights. Tliia one came down iu a short time, aud, as luck would have it, it struck tlie bald {•ate of the lutlf asleep sexton. The vic tim gave a start of alarm, whirled qoick- Jy around, and the boy's father pinched him savagely and whispered: "Oh! I'll fix you for this! Just let me get you bome once !" I couldn't nee how the boy waa to blame. He couldn't understand one word iu ten of the sermon ; he aaw a dozen ruen around him asleep ; it was a hot day ; he wo* a nervous Ikv and used to moving around, and bis own father hail been gazing out of tin-window in an absent way for a quarter of an hour. Ho made a last grand effort. He braced hia nerves, shut his t<-eth bard, and ant as erect as a new hitching {* wo. The cler gymnu seemed to look right at tlie l*y as he uaud twenty big words iu snocx s aion, and the Iml gave it up. He o{nxl the pew door, aud was trying to entice a small dog to come in, when his father awoke and whisjiensl: " You wait —oh, you just wait!" The exercises closed just then, and the boy walked home behind his parent to get a dressing down for not having the mental caliber of a full grown man, and for not sitting still and going to aleep like hia father. A I'M for If. The city of London has ai last com pleted a system of drainage tliat was de cided on near!,, twenty years ago, and has la-en iu construction for over seven teen years, costing over twenty-two mil lions of dollaia. The sewage of a section of the metropolis, covering an area of about one hundred and tweuty square miles, is now carried away to the Ger man ocean i* an admirable manner. Hut still London is not content. A new problem has been presented by the very effectiveness of the new system, and tliat is the utilisation of the enormous amount of the ls-st kind of fertiliser which is now wash si in the ocean's vast exponas. That is no idle question either. The waste of sewage is robbing the agricul tural industry of one of its strongest props. Experiment* with the sewage in a number of instauoea have given the most cheering result*. Upon a farm of thirty acre*, for the year ending March. 1875, the receipts were sndon alone, bnt applies to every large city in this country as well. The Difference. (ieti. Sherman has written s letter to Col. John A. Batter, syllogizing for using the word " tight," in referring to him in his " Memoirs," and saying that lie has instructed his publishers to sul>- Mtitute " enthusiastic " for it. He adds: " I did not suppose my rapid sketch of early events in California would attract so much notice. As you well understand, I do not offer my " Memoirs " as a his tory, but rather as a picture of the conn try at that date, when you were all in all. Folsom and I were youngsters then, as compared with you ami Mason, and we looked up to you a veterans and i models." It must be gratifying to Col. Butter to have the correction made in this way. Some people would rather have the original term, however offen sive, remain, than to have it empliasized ly a formal correction advertised all over tho country, as this is sure to be, and read by ten times as many jieople as will ever see the original phrase. GOD, Hherman has giveu s new meaning to j •• enthusiastic." Tormß: S2IOO aIT ear, in .Advance. ALE ABOUT BITTKBH Ak laarailsßilm Ikl* Tk<-* Arr (Tkn I*- laarlss* Wkal I* H*(lr Ikaa BMlsr*. Some time ago, the l>oar>l of health in the city of Boston oattaed to be iuatitu ted a cuetniual exjuuiuatiub of many of the artielea of (suisumjitien offered for sale iu the stores The inquiry waa in trusted to Mr. W It. Nichola, whoae re jswt at the date of jmbiioatiuu was ueoea aariiy incomplete from the mauflhaeut time tliat had beeli allowed him fur tls uiveatigatioii, which, however, ia still going on. Hot, ao far as it went, it •hows thenncnaaitv fur a much closer at tontion to the of adulteration, aud to Uie great value of the truth re sjiecting itlieiug made known. There are probably few things among articles of oommmjition, whether luxuries or iiei'iinsariea, wtueh are aokl in aWdute purity. And, although some of the articles employed for adulteration are liarmless enough, others are exceedingly prejudicial to health. On this occasion, says the New York 71mr, we ahall confine ouraelves to one subject only. From the great numls-r and various kinds of * 4 bitten " which are advertised, two things are made tol orably certain—first that the sale of these mixtures ia highly profitable; and next, that the consumption of them is very cousiilerable. To what exteut Mr. Nu-hols examined into the nature of this article, we are not yet made very certain. But he ajqiears to have investigated it sufficiently to enable him to indorse all that had lr. (iibbuus at a meeting of the State Medical Society ot California That gentleman tella us that, in the con •suction of them, there is little else than fraud, and the remark, strong though it be, is not unwarranted by what he adds concerning their manufacture. Bad whisky ajijM-srs to be the basis of al most all of them, aud the bitten are made of any herbs that hajijwn to be most convenient to the maker's harnla The |irofita m the sale of theae concoc tions are said to be five hundred per cent, above the cost of material. It is not funy to asoortwo exactly who the pNHiiii an- who uitri Uuar pnjwn bona. Man v Uk<- tin-in medicinally M tunic*, and itt that capacity they art used r*ry freely. Other* take them aa appetiser*, or iu the early morning, to atuothrr the effect* of a previous night's debauch. Theae are not temperance people. But, again, it is well ascertained that very many people who do profess, and with sincerity, to be total abstainers, have recourse to bitters becauae they And they do them good. Out of twenty varieties of the bitters most frequently used, only one was found to Ire free from alcohol, and that one has the smallest sales. One sample contained as much as fifty nine per oeut. of pure alco hol. another had forty -ail, another forty two, and ao an, the proportion varving in all. We advise everybody to avoid the use of bitters, unless the constituents of the particular article used are well known. Ami there are only three or four kinds of which that can be naitL A plain solution of gentian, such as our grandmothers used to make, or of the rind of Seville oranges, ought to answer every purpose. I bri-dma* Festivities. From aii article in Appletons' " Aui*r lonn Ctyoopndia," revised edition, en titled " fhiiKtiuas." are select a*follow*: The oommun custom of decking the house* and -J>iircbe* at Christmas with evergreens is rnid practice*. It wan an old belief that sylvan apinta mi#lit flock to the ever gnx'ua. and remain unniiijied by front till a milder season. The holly, ivy, rosemary, lwr, laurel, and mistletoe, furnished the favorite trimmings, whidi were not removed till Candlemas. In old church calendar* Chriatman eve ia mark ed, Trtnjtia < x*>mantur (the temple* are adorned). Holly and ivy still remain in England the most esteemed Christmas evergreens, though at the two umvsrai tios the wiudowa of the college chapel* are decked witli laurel. It WHS au old English su]Mear* from ntimerons prints, and from the Latin poem of nannaxaro, in the six eenth centurv. It was an ancient tra dition, alluded to by Shakespeare, that midnight spirits forsake the earth and go to their own confines at the crowing of the cook. The Christmas celebration in England have lost their primitive Itoisten us character, th* gambols and carols are nearly gone by, and family reunions and evergreen trimmings are nearly all that remain of th* various rough merriment* which used to mark the festival. The last memorable ap jniintment of a lord of misrule was in 1627, when he luxl come to be denomi nated "a gracd captaine of mischiefe." The Arabian Horse. The Emir Alxl-el Kader, in his " Ob servations on the Horse," says: If you wish to go very fast, choose a horse with high wither* and small flanks. The tail should lie thick enough to All the space between the thighs." • "The tail resembles the vail of a girl betrothed." The eye of a horse should incline laxily toward tlv> nose, like that of a man who squints. "It resembles the eye of a coquette who trie* to peep from under her veil." The ears should resemble those of au antelope, the nostrils should be large, the fetlock joints small, the forelitek thick. "In the time of ilauger raonnt a horse whose forehead ia cover ed with thick hair." The oavities inside the nostrils "hould be eutirely black; if tliey are partly white, tlie horse ia ouly of medium value. The hxfs should te rounded, and on the interior like the hollow of a drinking cup; the frog* firm and drv: the fetlocks thick, resembling the dark plumes hidden under the wing< of the eagle, and, like them, they become block in the heal of the hatUe; the hoofs firm. " They walk on their hoofs as on the stones of* a stagnant water covered with moss." •' When my horse goes for an object lie makes a noise resembling that of the wing* of a flying eagle, and his neighing resembles the plaintive tones of the nightingale. His neck is as long and grueeiul as that of a male ostrich. His eye is black as night and full of fire. Iu elegance he resembles a picture hanging on the walls of a palace, and he is as PtAtely as the palace itself." The old emir was evidently poetical as well as warlike. Imagine Ills Feelings. While a Detroit ferry-boat was crowd ed a hat belonging to one of the Indies blew off and alighted in the river. Many }>ersoua cried out in alarm, and a young man who was selling for a chance to do something heroic imagined tliata woman had fallen overboard, and he dropjxxl his hat and soumxl into the water. He got the lint, and after a great deal of trouble the deck hands got him, and as they palled hiiu oa deck and tore his coat tails oft', and rolled his vest up un der his chin, and scraped his back on a plank, a hundred people remarked: " Haw ! haw I haw I' ■ ( ■■ NO. 41. The Penalty of HUeur*. In prison* fur women aheolute ailenas ■' "MP a portion of the puutshmi-nt. Any fatoHon mmodatioiia, she boaght a bona* and all it contained in xacuy ten minute* after her arrival. Having n<> children of her own, and loving little one* dear ly, she adopted a voting relative a* tier daughter. This lady afterwards mar ried Mr. Nelson Chase, who had been the groomsman at the marriage of Madam Jnmel with Aaron Burr. Mr. Chaae became the heir to Madam Jn mel's immense estate, on Manhattan Maud, and be ia now the owner and oo cnjiaiit of the ancient mansion and its lands. The original Morris domain con sisted of several hundred acre*, bat th* present remnant of the prqpertv con tains but about one hundred. \Vithin the last few years Mr. Chase was called upon to defend the title to his inheri tance, and newspaper readers are fami liar with the extended legal conflict which followed. Opposed to Wooden Parearat*. The Journal of the Societo of Aria objects to pavements of wood, and very rationally, because that material ia porous —composed, in fact, of bund leu of fibers —and therefore absorbs and returns wet very freely, foul wet especially. The fibers of the wood being aecemarily placet! verticallv, the upper ends fray out, are abraded, lwm like painters' brush stump*, and are about aa per manent]* dirty; or they break up like the wooden handle of a chisel which has lieen often struck with an iron hammer, or a wooden mallet when need upon an iron chisel At all times wood is wet ox lamp, more or less, except diking con tinued very dry weather, and its si rue tnre is snch that it admirably adapts it to receive and hold, and then to give off in evaporation very foul matters, which taint the atnfbspbere and consequently injure health. Absolute cleanness and dryness are prime conditions in pave ment—wood is the extreme contrary of this; it is necessarily dirty soon after use, and is almost continuously damp. The Best Disinfectants. There are three powerful disinfectants: carbolic acid, but its smell is objectiona ble, chlorine and i>ermjuiganato of pot :i*h; these last two are tpiite expensive. These disinfectants act by combining with deleterious substances and render ing them barmlts*, while antiseptic* prevent and arrest the decomposition of animal substances. The most common and availalile ilisinhvtant and deodor iser is copperas, crude copperas, sold by druggists at a few cents a pound, under the name of sulphate of iron; one pound to two gallons of water, to be used as often as necessary to render all odors im perceptible, acting at the same time aa an antiseptic, deodoriser and disinfect ant; and tf instantly thrown over what passe* from the body in cholera, is ane of the cheapest and best means known for preventing its oommnnicatian to oth ers. The only perfect disinfectant, how ever, is habitual cleanliness and thorough ventilation; next to that is a dry heat of two hundred and fifty degrees. ' breatness. " Father," asked a Vicksburg boy at the dinner table the other day, "areyou a big man t" "Well, I dunuo," musingly answered the ]>arent. " Why I" " 'Cause 1 heard some men talking over at the hotel, and they said yon were one of the biggest men in town." '' Well, I suppose I do stand pretty high," replied the parent, looking pleased and consequential. There was half a minute of sUenoe, and then the boy added: " They said it was a wonder how yon tarried your feet around!" The boy can't understand yet why he should have received a box on the ear which made his head roar for two long i hours. ■ lll 111 1 . -" Dm Blameless I4. 8* atMtnd * Mhl bnbhle of f*m* . I It Bfl***d upward MM) broke H lmn4 drwwn of a worM wttbort hlsms, It vsmsksd Int whn bo wok*. Bat oat of th* tmbht* • prertoi. M*r Fstl ouft an b. furor fx) band j la 4 tb* nMiory of th* dma n> d*r *a a (IttpM of th. HtMooioar box) . *I. I mi! • ' It mm of later**!. Nevadn to ovwutin with rabbit*. Sport un the St Lawweoe Shouting the rapid*. Quill* from Han pinion* of one room often sprnwht tto 'pinion* of nnotbr. One thousand dollars given to th* poor of Mow York to about a lining apiece. :<, A phflenapher present* the following , general deductions from hi* observation* i at • picnic: Say what yon will against narrow skirts, It to cosier for a tody and gentle man to walk under otto umbrella than it tuted to be. Alitor f* nam while vs amy, Old Utne to still a-flyfag ; And (B* eaoM Aawer tbet radk* today. To-morrow will U dying. William Doudioan, of Lafayette, Intl., lied the day after hi* wife, apparently Moialy from iirwf. He waa Ulirty-oxi* and dbe waa twenty-nine. Bevenwd saucers, with piotaree paint -*d qn them, are npw worn m breastpin*. The aim of the porcelain to limited only by th* ahoaldem of the wearer. Milwaukee to called the beer capital of America. It to a city of 100,000 Inhabi tants, and daring the month of June etmaamed 38,827 barrel* of toger beer. The young mm whom panto have bent the mat nwwtaleeely lorn by thorn* to the one who to the moat urgently solicited to climb trees and fix awing*. A man called on a dilatory debtor and politely said: "If yea will pay me the amount of my bill immediately, you*ll oblige me; if not I shall have to oblige you. He*. Mr. Donkey oayatbat Queen Vic toria to such " just a pleasant, womanly imdy as we ace every Habbaih in the used earner of our Methodist church in Ameriea," According to the census there are 17,* 306 more females thou males in Boston. And still we are not happy l—Boaton Asef. The Mnaoaic authorities of low* bare tended that dancing in the lodge-room is inrniirttnt with the good of the uZUft It to easy enough to imitate Josh Bill ing* —thus: Daunt karrey egg* in your ctwttoto pocket. Eg* axnt good after they've bin rot an awhile. About 96,000,000 feet of log* have hem rafted down the Penobscot river, Maine, this season, and the booms ate now clear far the Ant time in eighteen rears. The girl who will By in terror to the arms of her eaoort at sight of a toad, will, if she happens upon a make by herself, deliberately catch it by the tail and jerk it* head off. The tote Mr. Singer, of sewing, machine fame, used to diem each one of hto meet servants in s different livery, and on on* ormarion he undertook to drive six hemes three abreast. Mary had a iritis lamp Twa flUad with iwwiaa And Mart dosu tits chimney bks And lab U>ri earthly soma. GODS to BMI bar fstbsr, who draw bis gun to bhß by the muzzla. There ! we knew the day would come some ttae. As Englishman has been sentenced to three months in jail for stealing an umbrella on a rainy day. And now—if we could only And the liound that played us the same trick a while ago. Some burglars, upon entering a boose, blew out the lights and tied the occu pants in different parte of the room. One took it to heart sadly, and exclaimed: " Oh, I'm undone i I'm undone !** Upon which another replied: "Then come and undo me." The Colorado beetle, the advent of which has been ao much dreaded in Eng gitnd, has not yet mads its appearance in thai country, nor elsewhere in Eu rope. The unpmwientedly wet weather in July has been very destructive to the potato crop in Britain. An officer in the army laughed at a timid woman because she was alarmed at Um noise of a cannon when a aalute waa fired. Ho subsequently married that bnM woman, and six months after wards he took off his boots in the hall when be came in late at nights. " Nobody rides over tbepotatoes that wav, my good woman." Tnis waa what a French peasant near Basse tot said to a lady on horseback, who, to get ont of the son a little, rode serosa a field in the shadow at aonae tree*. But he didn't know it was the empress of Austria. Thar* one* waa a tuas in lb# food kmg ago When 'twas modrwtfr saul "she's two suing* to har bow." Bui the Portland girl thinks Ha hardly th* l'niea* sli* can my 'Tra two beaux on th* etnng." *• A dollar is a large price for a water melon," aaid a purchaser to a vender of this fruit, as he was paying for one the other evening. "Ton wonldn think so, mister," aaid the dealer, " if yon had net on the f enoe with a shotgun in your hand every night for three weeks, watch ing the patch." Colfax has faith in woman's ability to keep a secret. He nays: " Out of all the sixty thousand women who have be longed to the Daughters of Rebecca, be bad never known one to break faith; and be protested against the miserable, worn out. *to root yped theory of the world, that woman cannot keep a secret" Polly Ooe, a colored woman, has just died at Somerville, Tenn., aged one hun dred and fifteen. She waa a cook in the American army during the war of 1812. She helped make the brick and saw the lumber for the oourt-bouaee at Somer ville, Covington and Brownsville. Co lumbia, Ga., pretends to have a negro one hundred and twenty-five yean old. The discovery of a Chicago woman is how to eat a peach at the table graceful ly. Cut the peach open iu Hie middle, mid remove the pit Hold one of the halves in the left hand, and use a spoon to scoop out the pulp and carry it to the mouth. Thus the fingers are not soiled, and the bother of feeling is avoided. No patent upon this device has been ob tained. The banks of the Connecticut river are being protected in places where the car rent washes them avnav, by covering them with matting. Ilie mats are wo ven about two feet thick, and sixty feet long by fifteen wide, of underbrush; and are towed into position, sank so as to extend from above high water mark to below low water mark; and covered with stones and gravel. The Davenport (la.) Gafftt says that two women have been traveling through that State selling oorseta. "Indeed," adds that journal, " their anxiety to give ladies s perfect fit and the insignificant reward they asked for their services ex cited suspicion. Now not a lady in lowa will admit that she has bought corsets in six mouths, while the two peddlers have resumed male attire and occupy a a dismal oell in jail." The mistress of a summer boarding house in an interior town, finding her self one day quite at leisure, in conns quanoe of the absence of her patrons on an excursion, repaired to a neighbor's for a chat " I snould think you would feel lonesome to have four boarders away BO," said her neighbor. "Well," she replied, "I do feel kinder lonesome, but it's a oood lonesome. It seems as it did when I was fast a widder." .The Boston Globe wants something explained: The south shore, in the vicinity of Black rook, has of late been visited with an innumerable host of moths, commonly called millers. They took possesion of rooms, which were •coeeible by the windows being left open, in such numbers that it was the work of •lays to get rid of their presence. Their origin is a mystery, bnt they entered rooms facing north in such flocks that it is a theory that they came in from the sea. In one small room 860 were killed,