The lovs thst will scone*'. ?ivr. The !ove thst is snnoet to .'if. The love that w.il soon flj ,> v Is llie love That is told hy * sigli. Tli* love that is surest to last. T!ie love that a woman's heart ne< .la, Tha love that will evor be fast. • Is the love Tliat is eile ; I wonder what can ever ail The girl Perhaps she's heard sonic tale I I lore her very well, yen knew. And oft hare tried to tell her so. Hot, suiJh she hates me. Ut t go ' A BEAR STtR\. " A bar is An animal to b* respect, d ami imitated. H# seldom goes out ol liis war to injure anybody, but he don't stand much foolin' if anylxniy under takes to meddle with him. lie remem ber* a pood turn lon per than most men do, and if he has a weakrn ss for horn y, I've never knowed him, of his own ac cord, to mix it with anything dele terious. 80 much for the principal character in ray story, aud I must fol low with a abort sketch of myself be low I come to the main pint. Not far from where I was borued there lived an old woman that was believed to be a witch. Now whenever a baby was horned ahe could tell at first sight what he or she was likely to be good for m the world. When ahe see my oldest brother look in' so cute out of his eyes, and holdin' his little fists so tight, she condemned him to be a lawyer. And so it was. He turned out to be one of the biggest rascals in Southwestern Virginia. The second boy my mother fetched was prophesied for a famous politician, and he growed up still worse than the lawyer, if so be si eh a thing is possible. Now when the old woman was called on to look at me, she sot for a long time in a kind of brown study. At last she spoke up. 'This boy," says she, ' has got the gifts that might set him ahead of either of bis brothers, but it would be a shame to bring up aich a stout and open-handed baby to any of them weakly, sneakiu' busi nesses.' " Daddy took the thing to heart, and bein' flattered with her prognostica tions eoneernin' of me, concluded to do full justice to my faculties, and bring me np as a har- H miter; and BO be christened me Rowzey, after old Leather Bill Atkins's big bar dog. This dog aforesaid was so tnrrible on wild var mints that Brother Ballard, the lawver (who was high larnt 1, told Leather Itill if he wasn't stopped there would be no game left in the mountains—no more than there was in the island of Chios after Orion's raid. Nft Rein' mnch ad dicted to Scriptnre, I don't know what t hat meant. No more did old Leather; but the expression skeered him, and he sent the dog away. " Well, no 60ouer was I fairly weaned than daddy begins my eddication by gittin' me a six months-old bar cab for a playmate. That cub we named Rough, accordin' to his nater, and he was a very comfortable friend as long as we were rompin' or sleepin* together ; bnt when our bowl of mush and milk was sot down there was a suspension of socia bilities until cne of ns got a sound wollopin', and the winner finished the mush and milk. " Rough and me generally fit fair, bathe wonld sometimes take u mean advantage when he found I had the upper hand in a fight; he npsot the Kn, well aware that when it came to _>ping milk off the floor he was boss and I was nowhere. In spite of these little onpleasantnessea we both man aged to keep fat aDd hearty, and no outside beast or hnman ever ondertook to poke his snont bet ween ns without feelin' the strength of oar friendship. When we had growed to be three or four years old. Rough, accordin' to bar nater, had got so far ahead of me, and so careless about my clothes, that mam my begin to feed as in separate pans. This new plan was so mighty quiet that mammy, fearing that we might pine for onr usual exercise and excitement, would sometimes slop a bowl of milk into the mush pot, and allow ns to go for the acrapin's. Gentlemen, are yon acquainted with scrspin's ?" We were constrained to acknowledge our ignorance of the term. With a smile of benignant pity for onr sim plicity, the narrator continued : "In our settlement it was the pride of good houaekeepin' to keep the mush pot always .hot and Dever empty, and what with filiin' and re flllin' yon might reckon it would git pretty well gammed up. It was cooled off and scraped mostly of a Saturday evenin'. Now, gentlemen, them scrap in's, all so crisp and crusty, had a flavor that was mighty euticin' to boya and bars, and I can't help feelin' sorry for a feller whose boyhood hain't been en riched with the recollection thereof. Bnt to foller the text. Although it monght be supposed human wit would have given me some advantage over a brute beast, yet, to tell the truth, Rough's muscle was gittin' a little too much for my strength and science to gether, as appeared one day when a whole coach-load of our lawyer and politician relatives come to make a sociable visit to daddy and mammy. I believe the whole notion of it was to befool him and her into signin' some paper, that thev monght cheat him outen his land. Bnt the har and me knowed nothiD* of that, bein' sent to gether into the kitchen when the com pany landed, mammy being ashamed to show us with the pretty children all dressed in store clothes and ribbons. But this put put Rough and me both in a bad humor; so we fell a-quarrelin' between ourselves, and presently we had a row, and he Blapped me into the slop-tub head-foremost, where I mought have drowned if, at the same time, he hadn't npsot the tnb in his awkwardness. Now our visitors had jist laid off their cloaks and bonnets, and was a-siickeu up their children's curls, and a-braggiu' of their smart ness, when in I straddled, drip pin' out of the slops, and bawlin' like a bull-calf. Now mammy was one of those hard-headed women that set no value on calioo and store knickknacks for herself, but to see her brag child cnttin' sich a figure in company was a little too much, and she flared up like an armful of brush. "'Husband,' said she, 'either that boy or that bar has got to leave this house. The brute has outgrowed the child, it has, and they can't git along agreeable no more, and on account of its on mannerliness it's onpossible to keep Rowzey dressed decent, it is.' " ' Well, what's to be done about the boy's eddication ?' says dad. "Mammy suggested that I wasgettin' big enough to go to school. Dad had hearn say it was more aristocratic and safer for the children's morals to have a private tutor, so he swore we should hold on to the bar. " Things went on as usual for a while, when the family dispute was set tled by a onforeseen circumstance. One day I was roastin' of a tarter in the ashes, when I observed Bough a-settin' off by the door a-watohin' me out of the FRKD. Kl T I{TZ, VOL. Ml. 1 corner of his wo. 1 mistrusted hi*'in tentions, and as I kuowed 1 was no longer m nnitoli for him in * scramble, I jistl kivered my tutor a little and slyly pnl the |oktT to hoat in the coals. \VhoH it was done, I took up the poker and poked out my tart< r on the iiearth. No sootier was it clear of the hot ashes titan 1! ugh'* paw covered it, and slap went the red poser atop tf his paw. There was ay 11 you mought have heard a uulo off, ami the whole eahin smelt of burnt har. I was scared myself; so, droppiu' the poker and hnatliu' up my roast, I started for the stable loft, but at the room-Joor 1 met daddy eomin' in all in a dare. " * liowiff,' said he, ' what have you been a-doin to tha*. poor brute beast?' ••' Notion',' sava I, feeliu' mighty mean. 4 He grabbed my tater, and 1 licked htm, that's all. And it was u fair tight.' 44 What do you think the cussed brute done? Why, he jis held tip his burnt paw to show daddy, and tlica went nor in' and whiuiiT around the hot poker, telhu* the whole story iu fewer words than any human could have done. Weil, dad list divided his judgments by giviu' Hough the tater and giviu' me tits, which was sweetened by my so in' the brute eat it, all the while makiu' impudent faces at me. while I -food snivelin'in a corner. We never had any more friendship or confidence in each other after that. All the art fulness of my ualur was roused by the wish to git square with the brute unbe known to daddy ; and Hough never see me pick np anything after that, even a chip, that he didn't run and hide hia aclf. Mammy took advantage of the coolness, and |H>or Hough, like Ishmael, was sent back into the wilderness. After he was gone it come back to me that 1 had acted a mighty mean part toward my old companion, and for many a day I felt lonesome and pium" whenever I thought of him. Then 1 was sent to school a while where 1 was licked through from a l> ah (Ymstanti isopfejia levs than two years,fit the boys, kissed the girls, aud picked up an amount of book larmn' and high die. that has been an advantage to rne ever since, as you gentlemen can plain y see. But as soon as I had growed big enough to handle a rule dad took me home agiu, to shine up ray professional edd icatiou uuder hisseif. Tonchiu' lightly on the wulgar business of plow in" and plant in' corn, he lartit me to track a doer and line a wild bee to sicli a certainty that we never was scarce of meat nor honey in onr house, though we did sometimes have to trade for corn meal. One eveuin', as I was a comin' home from watehin' a deer lick, 1 meets a bar right in the path. I was so took by surprise that I fired my gun in the air, then quickly dropped if, and drawed my butcher knife ; but the var mint wasn't so much scared, and sot up on his hind-logs, shadm' his eyes with his paw, as if lie was trvin' to make ont who I was. That paw 1 noticed had a streak of white har across it, and the next minnte we was bugged in each other's arms ; for you may well believe old Rough aud me was mighty pleased to see each other. " Now, gentlemen, a dog can always j express his feelie's, or git our gotxl will, by a " moviu' tail,' bnt a bar is not likewise gifted, bein' limited to wry faces and awkward paws, and to have seen old Rough tryin' to say his say , would have r. do yon bust a-laughin'; but, gentlemen, i' was plain to see the ere tor's heart was in the right place. He bore me no grudge for the past, and tried to hide that scarified paw for fear I monght feel bad about it. Seeiu' 1 that my old friend wasn't nigh so sleek and glossy as he used to be, 1 conceited he was leadin' a tolerable hard life, and tried to persuade him to foller me home, explainin' to him that we wasted enough at the cabin to keep him fat to the end of his days. But no: his mind was fixed; his only answer was a mournful shake of the head, and givin' roe a far'w-ll squeeze, lie trotted awav into the woods. As be went, I thought I see him lift his left paw to wipe a fallin' tear. Yon may latgb, gentle men, but there is more humanity about dumb creturs than we are awar' of mostly. " For a long time after that I was afeared to risk a shot at a bar. and to shnn temptation, give up carryin' a gun, and turned my attention chiefly to huntin' bee trees. They were plenty enongh in onr mountains, and for con venience I built me a camp some way off from the settlements, and hewed out a big trough to hold the houey I gath- I ered. Now I filled my trough from time to time, but every night the var mints come and cleaned me ont, which I knowed to be bars, seein' their tracks, and bein' awar' of their Lkin's. After loain' my labor in this way for some time, I bethinks me of a plan for gittin' even with 'em. I gits me a keg of peach brandy, and savin' a very moder ate supply for my own needcessities, I pours the liquor into my trough, and 1 mixed it pretty thick with honey. Then I whetted my knife, and retired to the camp to watch the effect of my trap. 1 ; carried a gourd full of the mix with me, which was so ensued sweet that I can't mind anything more that happened until to-morrow mornin', when I was wakened by a hellu j halloo the like of which I never | heard before nor since. Clearin' the husks out of my throat with a I swig from my jug, I draws my ! knife, and creeps on all fours to ward I the lioney trough, where I see a sight ! winch tilled me with astonishment and i laughter. The whole place was black I with bars. I wouldn't like to risk my reputation— which is undoubted—by statin' the number. There mought have been a hundred, more or less, of all ages and sizes, from an old six-hun dred pounder to a six-months cub, all drunk as Christians. Now the longer I studied their doin's the more nateral they looked, jist as I've seed civilized humans carryin' on up at Beverly after an election-day. Bich was the elevatin' influences of "good liquor on savage brutes, which appeared to laise 'em so nigh to our level, that as I laid there watcbiu' for achauce to go iu I begin to feel as if I was plottin' murder agin my fellow-creturs. " Howaomdever, what I monght have concluded don't much signify, for presently an old sot, happenin' to stag ger into the thicket where I was hid, caught sight of me, and gave a yell that fairly lifted the hat off my head, and fetched every bar to his feet. Ap parently my time was short; but still calculatin'to stampede 'em, lup with a mighty shout, slitherin' the old blather skite that raised the alarm. I went in through the brush like a whirlwind. It was a foolish idee. I'each-aud-houey don't make brutes skeery no more than it does men, and in less than two minutes I was smotherin' under a sqnirmin' stack of bar meat about the size of dad's cabin. Now, as I wasn't smashed to death, my position mougbt be rightly considered providential; for the bodies of the brutes that lay next to me kivered me agin the teeth and claws of the outsiders, and bein' well nigh smothered themselves, they was obliged to figtit outward for fresh air. But it don't signify to be tellin' how I got out of there, for I don't exactly know myself. Howsomdever, when I rose and got my breath, I see the bars all around me fightin' among their selves, makin' the fur fly like feathers THE CENTRE REPORTER. at a gooM-pltickiu', and quite unmind ful of the stranger among 'em. 1 mought have cleared myself thru, but my blood Wa* np and I went through'em, stahbttl' right and left, oumcrctful us a mad wild cat, reapectm' neither age nor sex. J Ist then se veral old fellers Hp poured to git a smelt of luc, and closed in mightv savage. While 1 fit iu front, a rascally old squeezer grabbed me round the neck from behind. I struck backward, Helm' my knife enter Ins cussed carcass a dozen times; but it didn't loosen Ins grip, and I felt my strength goiu", At this pint a big bar poked Ins Lead up from behind the honey trough, ruhhiu' Ins little eyes as if he had jist waked up. Iu a minute he broke for us. " ' ltowiev," thinks I, * it's time for family worship. Now 1 lav me down to sleep- -' "As I prayed I made a stab at the big he, wlio shunned the blade, and, to my astonishment, grubbed the beast in front of tue witli his left paw, seudiu' htm htels over head ; then with Ins right he tort> tiic feller off my back. I was too far gone to ask questions, but bein' loose once wore, 1 broke for camp. There 1 barricaded myself in with pole*, and laid pan tin' and sippin' peaeh-and honey until 1 fairly come to my strength agin. It took me some time longer to git up pluck enough to venture back toward the battle-ground. Howsorn dever, late in the afternoon I ilnl creep down that way, mighty like a sheep deg ut first, but holder when 1 see that everything was quiet. Around that honey trough lay twenty-two dead bar, young and old. tientlemeu, I value my reputation too high to weigh it agui bar meat. Gentle men, 1 counted them bodies a* they lay, and you mar think 1 was mighty proud as 1 viewed the ground. Well*, I mought have lieen, but there was one corpse too many there for my peace of mind. Over by the honey trough, jist where my life was saved, as I thought, by the miraculous mistake of adrnnkeu old bar, there lay two bodies, clutched iu a death grip, jist as they had fell tlghtiu'. They were badly tore, and the leaves all atotind soaked and stained ; but as I stoojied over te look closer, 1 felt a cold shiver that froze clean to my bone*. There was the white paw, stiff and bloody. Gentlemen, there lay Hough, my old playmate." The rugged hunter drew his slcevj acro-s his eyes, reached over for the pitcher, and turned it bottom upward over his empty glass. " Well, I went to work savin* my meat with a heavy heart, and next day got some fellers up from the settle ments with horses and sleds to help me down with it. Then* w.is ieh a pile that all the neighbors gathered in to look and git a share, and (here was a mighty guessiu' and bettin' on the weight. Now we had no steelyards nor scales of any kind ; bat there was Bill.Swanson, who bad got weighed oust when he w-is down to the Kanawha Salt-works, and aroordin' to his recol leetion, which was good when he staid sober 1 which be never did willin'h i, he drawed jist two hundred aud eighty, down weight, on the salt-wnrks s -ales. Well, we jist laid a stout rail acrost a stump, seesaw fashion, ami sot old Bill on one eend and piled bar meat OU the other, till we got his hett which we did ; I uow disremember whether hit was seven or seventeen times. How somdever. none of us bein' scholars enough to substract that together, we scored the times on a saplin', till the school master came along to cipher it up for us. Rut everybody 'lowed they never sec sich a pile of meat in all their born davs." " And did Ton never try that trap again. Itowxey ?" "Oh yea ; for TOU see, after old Rough was dead I had no mercy on bar any more, and I sot that same trap over and over. But I fooled away my lienor and honey ; for though my bait was took regularly, I never see bar nor a bar's track in that neighborhood arter ward. But oust I see old Bill Hwanson lurkin' around thar, aud hann' my own suspicions, I left off settin'." " And did yon eat old Bough with the rest ?" inquired Dick. " Mister," said the mountaineer, with a gesture of indignant scorn, "sich a question is a u i sored it to the feller that asks it. Do I look like a lawver or a heathen cannibal? No, sir; I buried him decent and respectable, with all his har on him, jist as 1 would i Christian friend, juid I tarred In name on a smooth claplsisrd, and stuck it up at his head. And thar he moug .t have rested in peace to this day ; but some of them high-seienced fellers from the East come a noain' and a-soratchin' through that conntrv. and mistakin' the grave foi an Injiu luound, they ex eawatod poor Rongh's bones and sent 'em to Baruum's Institute, at Washing ton city, where I've hearu say they stands in a glass cast 1 , as the skeleton of a celebrated Injin chief, between a par of General Washington's old breeches and General Jackson's night cap, which he wore at the battle of New Orleans. Porte Crayon. Thai Sproemg Earl, The Earl of Yarborongh, who has just turned up in Jersey, England, is abont forty years old ; he is married, and has several children ; his estates are large aud valuable ; he is the pAtron of fifteen livings in the Established Church, and he has everything to make him happy. All the same ; be is so un happy that he drinks to excess to drown his grief, and goes on sprees that often last for days. One eveniug recently he was seen in the lobby of the House of liOids quite tipsy, later in the night he was seen at the Victoria Station, still drinking, and since then has been in obscurity. Home ono suggested that probably he had followed the example of a brother nobleman who jumped from Westruiuster Bridge theotht rday in order to put ■ i end to his troubles. But those who knew Lord Yarborongh said that perhaps he had been mtir dered, but that he disliked water too much to drown himself. A description of his person and dress was published, and a reward offered for news of liini. A body was picked up in the river dressed just as Lord Yarborongh had been dressed, aud answering the de scription given of him. But a closer examination of the Corpse proved that it was not that of the missing noble man, and that probably some base ple beian had drowned himself in order to receive a peer's funeral. Meanwhile the search was continued until finally lie was found—only suffering with a very bad headache. Wages (iolng Down. Notwithstanding the strikes in Eng land, the wages of all except farm la- Ijorers are going down. The colliers of South Durham have been reduced ten per cent., and seventy thousand are in idleness in opposition to the measure. The colliers in the Burnley district have returned to work at their masters' terms, after spending SIOO,OOO in idle resistance. The foremen in the col lieries, men who are paid by weight for the ooal raised, and make their own terms with the workingmen, realise im mense profits. In a case recently hoard before a Warkwicksliire court, one of these foremen admitted that his in come averaged S4OO a week in gold. CENTRE IIA EE. CENTRE Co.. I'A., TIURSDAV, It T.Y 2:3, 1874. An Imliau Kbqn ineiit. Gen. Custer, in hi* " lafe on the Plains," tell* the following story of the successful elopement of the daughter of a chief : Guc evening after we had gone into camp, many long weary miles from our point of st ir'lug. and when we stip|*>s ed we hud left all the Ivioivas safely lit camp awaiting the release of their two chiefs, 1. me Wolf and Hatauta. we were all surprised to see a young and hand some Kiowa warrior gallop into our midst accompanied by a youug squaw, who certainly could not have reached the age which distinguishes the woman from the girl. In a few moments our little party gathered about these two wayfarers, eager to learn the cause of their sudden and unexpected visit. The girl was po-.ses.-od of almost marvel lous beauty, a beautr o remarkable that my companions of that march re fer to her to this day as the most beau tiful squaw they have ever seen. Iter graceful and well-rounded form, lier clearly-cut features, her daik expres sive eyes, fringes I with long silken lashes, cheeks rich with the color of youth, teeth of pearly whiteness occa sionally peeping from between her full, rosy lips, added withal to u most be witching manner, required not the ro mance of her story to make her an ob ject of deep interest in the eyes of the gallant* of our party. But to their storv. She wa* the daughter of Black Kagle, st that time the acting bead chief of the Kiowa*. The young warrior who rode at her side was somewhat of a youug Ijocbinvar in disposition. It was tlie old, old story, only to be repeated again by these representatives of the red man - mutual and love ou the part of the voonptw; opposition equally determined upon the part of Black Eagle ; not that the young war rior was objectionable, but uufortunato ly, as m lint too often the cime, bo WM poor, autl could not offer in exchange for the hand of a chit-fa daughter the proper number at pontes. Itlaek Kagle was inexorable—the lover*, constancy itself. There was but oue thing for them to do, uud they did it. Aware of our proposed expedition in search of the Cheyenne* an i Arapahoe*, they timed their aff* a accordingly. Giving us timo to get two days the start, they slipped away from their vil lage at dusk the eveuin of the second day after our departure and hastening uuperceived to a thicket near by, where the lover had taken the precaution to conceal two of the fleetest ponies of ihe village already saddled, they were so in IU their saddles and galloping for love and life away from the Kiowa village. I say galloping for life, for by the lu dmu law, if the father or relatives of the girl could overtake the lovers with in twenty-four hours, the life of the young woman would pay the forfeit. Th-y foliosi-d our trail in order to avail themselves of our protection by traveling with us as far as our course might lead them in the direction of the Staked Plain*, on tin- l crder* of which a straggling band of Kiowas, under the chief Woman Heart, was supposed to be, and which the low rs intended to join, at least until the rage of jmfrr /amiltiu should subside and they be in vited to return. This in brief was their story. I need not add that they found a hearty welcome in our midst, and were assured that ti.ey need uo longer fear pursuit. That evening, after the camp fires were lighted, the officer* of our party, with an interpreter, gathered al*>ut the camp fire of the bridal cotipie and I assed a pleasant hour in conversation Their happiness and exultation at their success in escaping from their village were too powerful to be restrained, and in many delicate little ways the bttde for by Indian law twenty-four hours' absence from the village with her luv r made her a bride -plainly lietrayed lor • xc ediug fondness for him who had risked all to claim her as lua own. After ray return to the main camp I met Black Kagle, and informed him that hi* daughter ai d her husband hnd t>een companion* of our march. " Yes. Why did you not kill him ?" was his re ply, which npou inquiry he explained by saying tnat if some person had kindly put an end to the life of his son-in-law, it would have benefited him to the value of several j ouies ; his dif ficulty seeming to be in overcoming the loss of the ponies which should have been paid for hi* daughter's hand. I afterwards learned, however, that the haughty child became reconciled to the wilful lovers, And Invited tliem to re turn to hi* lodge, su invitation they were not tardy in accepting. A Night In the Country. Alwut 11 o'clock, writes a city man who is making a visit to the Country, the dogs take'n tongue in. The faithful watch dogs generally form themselves into Granges, each containing about 700 dogs, for mutual aid ni d benefit in the illicit distillation of mn ton. Every night oue hundred dogs steal away si lently to kill sheep, while the other six hundred hark furiously, to induce their owners to believe they nre, like the Hon. Elijah Program, " active to their trust," and to cover the bloody opera tions of their fellows. At midnight the cow, whose calf has been reft from her, having reflected on her loss, lifts up her voice and laments. The lament of a sorrowful cow in a barn is something nui jjctirrin in the mutter of sounds. Iu the first place, it takes her a long time to become loud, and an equally long time to fill the barn with noise. But when the building is crowded with " moo," and it begins to leak out nt the windows nnd doors in raufilcd and mcl ancholy thunder, she has a long inter val of rest to prepare fir another blast ere the first, undulation has been ex hausted. About two in tho morning she is drowned out and silenced by a jackass somewhere iu tl * country, who, having nerved himself ir the effort by a silence of twenty-four hours, delivers himself of a bray thnt makes the sky bright with a responsive shower of shooting stars. There is nil awful si lence for about twenty minutes, no ani mal daring to call his voice his own ; then the jackass sings again. .Inst as the country side is congratulating itself that the infliction is over, for another interval of twenty minutes, he dis charges a third volley, and then is heard no more. You, however, do not know whether he has broken a blood-vessel or gone to sleep ; but, with a dreadful uncertainty as to when the next bray will occur, put your head under the clothes, and your thumbs iu your ears, ; and wuit. Chinese Old Maids. In China a woman may grow old and remain unmarried without being con sidered a disagreeable person to have about. In fact, it is rather nice thun otherwise to be an old maid there. A Shanghai journal tells us that the Em peror has just decreed that special hon ors be paid to two ancient spinsters, one of whom has recently died after a life of devotion to the memory of her dead betrothed. The other spinsb r, who is still living, has the extraordinary fact related ol her that in her youthful days she refused to marry an eligible young person on the ground tlint, she couldn't leave her home. When the Emperor heard this he instantly or dered her noble conduct to be recog nised. A Plague of tlrasshoppers. During ti'vrnl weeks past tlint vora cious insect, the grasshopper, him IMWU ■anting the wheat, oats, alul corn in lowa nml othisr Western KUU', lv wholesale. In aotue counties, scarcely u field 1 uni escaped its ravages. The patches in which the egg* have been moat uuiucloubly drptwilnl have leen cleared of rvery \estige of anil tho young grasshoppers, a* they pass through their several moulting# ami increase in size, hop about in pur suit of food in far too lively a manner. They come from the egga without wings, ami continue to grow and de vour until fully matured. After a few • oka of aong and reproduction, the body begins to shrivel, the legs wither, the appetite ceaaea, and death speedily follow*. The largest yet found are not more than two-thirda grown, so it will take Borne tune before any of them are ready to move elsewhere. A resident of tluniholdt county, writing to a Chicago paper saya: "This auction ia stocked with grasshopper*. They are not big enough to fly, and thus far have only committed depredations in the places where their egga were laid. In ten or a dozen counties west of Humboldt, and up the West branch of the lies Moine* river, the country ia full of them. They have already eaten the growing crop 011 the grouud and left the tie hi a barren as a board," In Hac county they have made auoh havoe that a correspondent thinks the land IU eul tiratiou " will he nothing hut a barren s!e." From present appcarauees he flrmlv believe* that there will not be fifty bushels of wheat, oats, and corn raised this year. In fact, the outlook is so unpromis ing that many of the settler* have de cided to leave the Htatc until they can recover sufllcieutly to enable them to resume possession of their homesteads, and begin the battle of life over again, hi order that they may not forfeit their rights by absence, a bill was recently passed I'V Oongresa giving thcin the privilege to remain uway for a year, i'iirae settlera have suffered a great deal iu their rfferU to establish proa |erou* colonies. Lilt wiuter, thou sands of them were often without the means of supporting life. Through a lack of experience their first crop# fail ed, and owing to the tact that the eoun tle iu which they settled most largely had previously had few inhabitants, they were compelled to poll along as best they could, without advice from any quarter. A corresjioiident who has witnessed the work of the grasshopper* in several counties is bitter in his denunciation of those landowners who try to prevent the true state of the facts from lieitig made public, lest it may have the effect of preventing immigration. Keeently, ho says, he heard the largest land owner 111 Sac county offer to sell four hundred acres of wheat for what the seed cost him. Two hours subsequently an immigrant called upon the same man to buy -onie land. While walking about the farm, the immigrant noticed a strip of hare earth across a wheat field, and having inquired about it. was coollv informed that it had been kept in sucii condition so that the herders could bel ter prdlert the wheat from the cattle. '* These," ad.ls the correspondent, "are the men who induce newspaper editors to say, no gr*ahoppers iu this eotiuty." t'ud'-r existing circumstance* emigra tion toward the grasshopper county ia not likely to IMS very brisk. What lie Will Do. Mr. Reeeher, accordi• g to an inter viewer, said that lie had made up hi* mind that he ought to take no notice what, ver of tho rreen' stat'-mviita pub lished l*v Tilt, in, and added ; "I do not blame Mr. Til ton ; the whole affair 1* the fault of meddling ecclesiastics, and 1 do not f.-el that I am Ixiutui to gratify them or the g. n.-ral public by noticing Mr. Tiltoii'a statement*. I hare a Urge church under my care, and I owe a duty t my congregation first. Beside* 1 am n member of the pre**, and my paper r quires considerable attention from •' Do voti intend to notice this matter in your piurn.il ?" asked the correspon dent. '"No," replied Beecher; "1 ilont think ! ought to enter into any news paper controversy. I must say frankly that I very much admire the tone snd tcni|*-r in which the press generally have dealt with this subject, aud it is sad that this matter, which is mainly personal, Inith us regards Tilton and myself and others, should IK* publicly paraded to satisfy the curiosity of some of the public, l)o yon not think lam right?" said Mr. Beecher. The reporter suggested that unfor tunately there was much in what was recently made public by Tilton which, though n d concln-ive in itself, might lie eousidi red in the worse senseagaiust Mr. Beecher, and might seriously affect his {lower for good among his congre gation. Mr. Beecher answered: " Ah, yes ; that's true ! I do not phdge myself to remain silent in view of devolopementa that may possibly arise, and even now I speak only my personal view* when I am disposed to make no reply. My conrse, however, will depend largely on what steps the examiners of Plymouth Church msy consider it ail visnblo for me to take. If they deem it for the good of my congregation and of religion that I shonld speak out in reply, I shall do ao, promptly and un mistakably, and will put in its true light much thnt I thought it pnuleut to pass over in a spirit of Christian charity." The Amended Bankrupt I.aw. Tho Tribune thinks there is cause for congratulation in the interests of hu manity, for the nmenilmeuts that have been effected in tho Bankrupt Act. All seem to be, it savs, measures of justice and humanity. We quote : " But the provision which will lie alike aooeptn iile to both debtors and creditors, and wliioh may be regarded as in every re spect a salutary reform, is that which cuts down to one-half the present fees, commissions, charges and allowances of tlie officers, agent*, marshals, mes sengers, assignees and registers in bankruptcy cases. If nothing else were effected, tiiis alone should be a subject for congratulation throughout the mer cantile community; for a general ex perience has given birth to the adage that when an estate goes into bank ruptcy nothing ever comes out of it for tho creditors." The Trouble Aboet It. Tt now appears that the difficulty with the Amcrique was that the French engineer did not understand how to manage a new English pump that had just been pnt into the ship. When ho started this pump he diil so in 11 way that brought water into the ship instead of pumping it out. The more that un happy engineer worked that pump the more rapidly the supposed leak gained on the ship, and so, after ho had pumped the Ameriqne nearly full of water, her crew and passengers hurriedly aban doned her. The result of the investi gation into the matter lias been that the French Government has made it a condition of continuing the subsidy to tnu Transatlantic Company that its steamers shall hereafter be commanded by naval "officers. TilE COI'KTO liKt'lMON. Tti sio> of Ilia first Krsstk of I'rouals* ( an Iu 1 fir 1 ullcil *((*•# I'leter Kook lived in New York, or Now Amsterdam, a it was then called, iu the year 16SI. He was a stalwart, thriving burgher ; had a ruddy round fa.*., a small twinkling gray eye, sturdy calves, ami a iWpacioua corporation, of which he took ample care. Well had it lieeu fur him hail he bestowed the like attention U|M>U his heart. Hut of that he took no care allowing it the privilege of protecting and looking after itself. Anna Van Vorst lived uu Hreedewcg, and boaatad the possession of a littlueomjecimeu of Dutch beauty, having flaxen ringlets, dumpling eheeks, very light and large blue ejea, pouting lips, dimpled elbows, and one of those firm figures which are only to l>e found among the lasses of " Fatherland." Anna and Pieter had met, and the mat ter-of-fact buaiuess-like damsel be thought herself of a husband, mentally exclaiming—" That is the man for me, and I will have him !" Pieter never dreamed of love or marriage. He had about forty gallons of choice canary in hia cellar, and he loved that. He had a larder "always well atocked," a* the advertisements of the [sorter-house* say, and he was wedded to that in aoul. He had too long lived under the super intending direction of hi* wrinkled honaekeejier, to think of taking a wile to darn his hose and tuck him tip 111 bed. Hllll he visited Anua Van Vorst, complimented her mother, and stroked the cat, while the maiden, in silence, played several batteries of glam-es against the fortifications of bis affec tiona. Hia u'ght*, which had been spent at the great tavern, were now regularly enjoyed ill tbe quiet of a |teacefnl home, where, overwhelmed with atteuttou and kindness, he sip|ed hia canary without knowing exactly why he felt so comfortable. For two year* pieter had habitually said, every night, rain or starlight, to Auua—"Good even, my dear !"—had exclaimed " Clod bless you 1" most fervently, when the old lady sneezed at the uattal hour tickled grimalkin's sleek hide while the water was boiling for domestic use; and yet he had never gone beyond the frigid boundary of respect, nor indi cated the slightest indication of being under the influence of the teuderest of all human passion*. Poor Anna was iu des|air. In the daT* when the judicial enact ments of New York city covered the off. use of sleeping in church, and sub jected scolding wiTea to a pnblio repri mand, and other penalties, modesty, or propriety, was a very necessary virtue ; and for Anna to have popjwd the ques tion herself, would hare t>een for her to perpetrate the suicide of her charac ter. Hut though woman's modesty pre vented this rash act, woman's wit ac complished the cherished design by another method. Pieter Kook had, as who has not, an Achillea' heel--a vul nerable *p< t which even a pigmy's straw of design could jienetrate —viz., his love of canary, aud hi* good natnrr when under it* too great influence. Ho Anua—oh, wicked, tricky woman!— plied him with eanary oue evening, un til he was—shall we wr.te it ?—drunk. Yes, the important citizen and highly moral burgher was as drunk as Caaaio. He saw two Annas, two cats, two duenna mother*, and he felt like two men. It i* singular, by the way, that while intoxication douldea everything else, it uever perform* that interesting operation for one'* money. As Pietet saw a reflection of everything, he *- held the good qualities of Anna Van Vorst in their doubled a*ject. and as h fftlt like two men. b< loved her twice as much as he ever had lie fore, and he solemnly popped the question over hi* sixth pint. Be waa accepted, and a duly serious contract was at once rati fied", after which Pieter Koek was trundled to hi* residence near the Rurglier's Rettery, scolded by his housekeeper,'and then installed between his virttions sheet*. Pieter'* promise was of some service to hirn ; it made bini (Kink —a luxury he had seldom taken the trouble to en joy. A* he cogitated over his pros {>ects he ws-i pleased and happy ; and after he had visited the bride elect as such about s month, he discovered that he really lovtd her dearly, ami tliAt her companionship was positively neces sary to his happiness. Perplexity, " thy name is women!" No sooner hail the {•lump Anns Vsn Vorst caught her fish than she lost her desire fur it. What she had l>een so anxious to obtain, sbe, obtaining it, despised. Matnre reflec tion taught her that Pieter wa* too fond of canary—his nose was a little too red —his eyes somewhat smsller than was becoming—his well-fedish appearance was only causial by a predisposition to dropsy, snd his nigh forehead was made by a baldness consequent on ago. Before the wedding-day arrived, she eared nothing for him—when it dawned, she actually hnlrd, and refused to marry him. She had taught Pieter Kock to think ; so when she declared her an willingness to ratify a contract of her seeking, in stead of'falling on his knees, or tearing hia hair, he merely said, while he crushed down the emotions that swelled hia heart well nigh to banding, " Very well, Anna; yoti must suffer for this act." Anna was given plenty of time to make up a"i opinion by which she in tended to abide, Bnd Pieter, not to deprive her of the opportunity of amending the wrong she had inflicted, renewed and continued his visits as of yore. Weeks slipped away without bringing any change. Anna did not love another, she said, but she conld not love him. •' Then yon are determined not to marry me ?" said Pietor K.>ok, depro catingly, a* lie t-ok up liia corked hat, to quit the premises for the last time. " I am," replied the obdnrate woman, coldly. •' Then beware of me !" exclaimed the rejected and suffering bnrgher, as he rushed into the Itreedeweg to traverse the very limited precinta of the city. That night he was seen in earnest conversation with two of the city au thorities. What the substance of the conference was he did not disclose ; bnt it was observed he sought his home witli an air of alacrity ; that his counte nance was open and pleased In its ex pression, and that his eye gave token of the existence of a very tangible idea in bis brain. The following day the murder was out. The sellout served a summons on Anna Van Vorst to appear, at the sound of the bell—all formal and legal proceedings in those days being commenced by the ringing of a bell three times—before the city court st the Town Ilall, on the 18th day of May, to answer to certain charges pre ferred against her, the nature of which would be defined at that time. Affrighted at this occurrence—and ignorant of its true import—the lady Hew to consult with Pieter, forgetting everything but her own danger. •• I em arrange the matter quietly," said Kock, with an amiable air; "I know what it is all about.' " You know ?" exclaimed Auna, with a stare of astonishment. " I do. It is for breaking your eon- TCTIIW: S'i.OO a Yoar, in Advance. tract with me. I atn the complainant." "Then you are a wretch I" " Marry me !" responded Picter with a contented-looking face—" Marry me, aud 1 H save you from disgrace." "I'll endure anything rather than that I" vociferated the beauty, "Think of the cucking stool," re marked Pieter. " I don't care for it." " Fancy yourself compelled to stand at the gate of the Hall all day in a cer tain position, witli a crier alongside to proclaim your crime." " Kreu that cannot alter my deter mination." " Well, then, what Bay yon to a ride On the wooden horse with a fifty (round weight at each htel?" inquired Mr. Kock, pleasantly. "I'd rather die than become Mrs. Kock !" exclaimed |un, as she left him. " I don't believe it!" soliloquised Pieter, as be jajured out a bumt>er of his favorite wine, and toased it off at a draught. The awful day arrived. The court was cottijsised of two burgomasters, four achepen*, and twenty burghers, all of whom were of course anxious to protect the rights of one of their set, slid who looked with exceedingly stern faces upon the violator of her faith. Pieter was there, his face shining with hope. The trial proceeded. Anna acknowledged the charges, but deuied the right of the court to interfere in the matter, inasmuch aa a woman wasn't merchandise, and could dispose of her self according to her own will. Where at, two of the august court laughed outright. I'ieter Kock was then sworn, and told his storv. He proved the existence of the contract-related the story of bis wooing, as Othello did, in s " plain, unvarnished" manner; and after de tailing the amount and kind of damage he would suffer, halted. " How do you know the lady loved you ?" inquired Burgher Johannes Gelisen Verbiuggins. Did she ever tell you so ?" Hero the complainant prod need a half sixpence, a pair of woman garters, and a flue neckcloth with hi name em broideis-d in one corner, around two bullock-looking hearts (even atthatilsv such emblems were {toddled in Cnpid a auction mart), all of which were her gifts to him—and cunniuglv asked if the very act of making suck presents could not t>e conatraed into a certain declaration of unadulterated love; whereupon all the members of tlicconrt opened their eyes wide, shut them once, much after the fashion of a fig ure in a Holland clock, gave a Lord Burleigh shake of the head, and very gravely and emphatically uttered the affirmative. After hearing of the affair in all its j phase*, and duly deli Iterating, tlieoourt commanded the partica to retire, and j await a second notioe to appear. A Anna passed out from the Hall, Pieter pointed maliciously, in order, first at the wooden horse, then at the whip- ! ping-post, the stool, the stock*, and tin pan of the building used as a jail. [All these implement* of justice were in the street* before the City Hall or West India Company's Tavern ; and the pa rade for the militia was also this spot], j Notwithstanding the terribly un pleasant predicament in -which tlie de linquent found herself, yet the spirit of obstinacy came to her assistance when she thought of relenting, and she concluded, most decidedly, to brave the atorm, let it burst ever so furious ly. A second investigation was had, which ndcd in the court delivering; the most cnriona and ambigtioa* opinion or dccisiou, that " the parties should be at peace !** But the woman was resolved that no peace should be made. She announced that her maid enly feeling*—the sentiment of her heart—had undergone a total change! since the matrimonial promise was ; given, aud that all the courts in Am sterdam nroj**r, New Amsterdam, and j the world beside, could not indnoe or , compel her to make Pieter Kock her companion for life. She disliked ; Pieter, and he should never have any thing to do with her. Horrified by this contempt of their authority—this daeadfnl insult of their high stations—the members of the court commanded the liell to be rung for Kock vs. Anna Van Vorst, for the third and last time. The chamber was crowded on the day appointed, and every face wore a solemn cast. The j fair defendant was weepiog—the in jured bachelor was smiling grimly, and evinced the possession of a full share of the phlegm of his nation. At thaf time there were no lawyers, i Every man did what the new constitu tion says it is proper we shonld all do — ! filead liia own cause, aud that in the •liefest term*. Verbiage was not per mitted—the judge* could not endure it "Never say anything unless you have it to say, and say that in the fewest possible words," was a rule of nnivcr- ' sal adoption. Pieter developed the case in plain, straightforward, concise i language. No feed connael drew fan- ; ciful pictures of the complainant's " broken heart, blighted hopes, and future unhappinee*,' to eulist the sym pathies of the hearers. The court wanted to know whether or not the contract had l>een broken, or if it had, if the offending party was willing to make it good. They thought that no matter what tlio resnlt was, the viola tor of a contract ought to l>e censured or punished. Queer people those of the ohleu time were ! They made law synonymous with justice—a foolish custom which wo have very wisely dis carded Pieter'# story was not con tradicted by Anna, aud the court at onee consulted, forming a deaiaion without any unuiasarv delay—another silly custom, not in kaep'ng with the wise characteristics of this age. What mu the dcciaion, think you ? How many gmldera damagea do you suppose they awarded? Not one—not a fraction of money r and for all that they divided against the faithless woman. Here is the luminous and wise award of this IHMICII of Daniels : "We do consider that Anna Van Vorst, single maid, did faithfully promise to become the wife of Pieter Ki>ck, single man, burgher aud inhabi tant of this city of New Amsterdam, and the promise was mutual. It ap ; pears by certain declarations of the parties, that iu consequence of certain misgivings, the bride of the said Pieter Koch is in no way disposed to be inar j ried to hiin. The burgomasters and Bchepens of this city, having examined to their full satisfaction all that can affect the cause for and against Iwtli parties, do decide that as the promise of marriage lias been made before the omnitlscient (exactly as the word is written in the record) God, it shall "re main iu force, so that neither the plain tiff nor defendant, without the knowl edge and approbation of their lordships the magistrates, and of either party, shall be permitted to enter iuto matri mony with any other, whether single man Or single woman ; provided, how ever, that all the presents made in con firmation of the marriage contract shall remain in the possession of the oom plainant, or until lawful marriage or mutual agreement shall exempt them from the contract Furthermore, both plaintiff aud defendant are condemned equally in the costs of this suit. This done and sentenced in the session et the 18th of May, 1654 I" NO. 29. Tlina ended the first trial evar bad -in I .New York for a breach of promise of marriage. What think yon of the de cision ? Could Lycurgua have given a In-tu-r ? Were all cases of the kind so die- F>< >■*-•! of, broaches of promise, or trials or them, would be few indeed. Pro*perta for Pall Trade. The following extract from the pre face to the July issue of It Q. Dun k Co.'s Reference* Rook is interesting, a# showing the views ol that well ported firm on the pro* pec la of trade for the autumn: "The circumstance* of the part six months hsre not been favorable to trade. The effect# of the panic of last September have lingered longer than was anticipated by many; but, these effect# have been more apparent in re stricting trade than in producing disas ter. Considering the suddenness and violence of the crisis of laet autumn, the commercial fabric of the oountry has not shown serious signs of disorder, if the number or importance of mer cantile failures are to be taken as an in dex mto its condition. It ia a fact, as surprising ss it is gratifying, that, wituiu the past six months, there have absolutely been fewer failures in nnm l-r t and o-rtainly fewer in prominence, than for the astne period in the average of years. On the contrary, we have had abundant opportunity for observing a very remarkable reduction of indebted ness in all classes, and ia almost all sections of the country. It ia safe to say that the internal mercantile in debtedness in the country to-day ia not more than two-thirds what it waa at this time last year. Indeed, so great has the tendency been toward liquida tion, that it alone has beer as much a cause of a restricted business and a hampered trade, as any want of confi dence in the stability of the country, or the safety of credit. The fright that the debtor claaa received in Reptember haa had it* effect, and the very promi nence of the failures that immediately followed impressed deeply a lesson that has been heeded. " If, then, it ia good to be reducing 1 debts—if it ia wise to owe two dollar* where last year three were due—the six months of dull time* which have been exi>erienoed are not without some com peuMtion. Willi this consideration in mind, the future doe* not wear as gloomy a look as might be anticipated, in view of the almost universally de pressed tone of public sentiment re garding the condition of boaineaa. It' would be idle to deny that the dnll trade of the past six months hat made some mroada upon the surplus capital of not a few, for expenses have not been reduced in proportion to the decline of profits, while the depreciation of values in many departments has been very marked. Many a trader is therefore poorer to-day than he was a year ago. Should the restricted business con tinue, disaster may follow, and failures be frequent; but it is surely a reason able expectation that the autumn trade will be a f Air one. All the indications that in former rears would be taken as a basis for this \iopr are presented now. An unusually abundant crop of almost every pr< duct ion is promised in almost all section* of the country. Price# for these products are maintained at remu nerative figures, and tbe steady gain in the value of our exports, which the part nx months haa shown, is almost cer tain of repetition in the next half year. The importations show a large de crease ; the stocks of all kind* of laer chandise are confessedly low ia all re tail and consumptive quarter*, and we confess we cannot sec why tlx re should not be a satisfactory business done. The monetary institutions of the coun try have been well sustained, sdl the machinery of commerce is in running order, no violent shock ha* lieeu given to the currency by legislation, and there is nothing* to prevents reasonable activity in those articles that go to make up a legitimate trade. The new railroad construction account, the iron interest, building operations, and other departments that have anticipated the demands of the time by years, will not nnlikely continue restricted and de pressed, but that is no good reason why there should not be a fair boaineaa done in merchandise." A Novel Swindle. A novel application *M made ia the Marvlebone Police Court, in London, the other day. A reefwctably dreaaed young woman naked the magistrate for iiis advice and uHitancc, The appli cant, who ia about lour feet one inch in ntature, stated that ahe raw an advrr tiaeraent to the effect that the advertiser conld, nnder hia treatment, make abort people tall. Mhe wrote to the adver tiser, who resides in Gillies street, Kentish Town, and ahe received in reply a statement of terms and a number of testimonials giving the names and ad dressee of several person* who had in creased their height under his treat ment Believing bis statement "he wrote to bim and enclosed stamp*. Mho went nnder hia treatment but finding that ahe did not grow ahe felt that she Itajl been swindled. She had paid 11a to the man. Mr. Mansfield said it was no doubt s swindle, and inonired of the applicant if she had read the Bible, and she answered in the affirmative. He wonld grant a summons, if she wished, for obtaining money under false pretences. Applicant thanked his worship and withdrew. Marriages of Blood Relations Statistic* presented to the French Academy show that the marriage* of blood relations form about two per cent, of all the marriages in Frauoe, and that the deaf and dumb offepring, at birth, of consanguineous marriages, are, in proportion to the deaf and dumb boru iu ordinary wedlock, at Lyons, full twenty-live per cent; at least twenty-Am per cent, in Fans, and thirty per cent in Bordeanx —the pro portions of the deaf and dumb, by birth, increasing with the degree of blood relationship. The data obtained show that if the danger of having a deaf and dumb child in ordinary mar riage, represented by figures, is one, there will be eighteen in marriages be tween first consins, thirty-seven in marriages between uncles and nieoea, and seventy in marriages between nephews and annta. It appears, too, that the most healthy parents, it re lated in blood, may have deaf and dumb children. The Sabbath. The Jewish Messenger of New York speaks in severe terms of those Jews who attended the Jerome Park races on Saturday. "Why," it asks, " are not some Jews decent? Why will they bring discredit npon themselves and their brethren by their lack of common sense and common deoency ? The Messenger oan find no exeuße for this desecration of the Sabbath. Looking from a Christian standpoint, " Would a decent American Christian attend a race on Sunday ?" FOUND GUILTY. —Charles Sigwall has been found guilty of manslaughter for causing the loss of several lives by the falling of MoArthur's building in Buf falo, the erection of whiob Sigwall superintended. om Mirset Mnntr twits art A m£lk. reowtvfnl knell; V ritlrroflsfSllaysarsetlllM. And * tA sat mwll. flut let our equip be Jopooe. A io pled der< of tor*. Wlille we Waad arband the •*" tree. Emblem of geranfv-fcmi Now Ainu Meier Ude no A g ode peed on our wet; Mreng Iti the right end deooUeee, (die wield* • hi*lnp eewy. And, grander elme laeptrtng, To nobler work elm oeße All Uwee whom time may p*Uer Within her gbaltoriug well#. Tlie peel bold* mweonee preetoo* i The fntnre, too. te felr. For we ere rick in youth end hope. And the bond of love v* bees 1 This. classmates, ne'er will sever, Though changing f* ! "*T town, lint bind ne clow forever. Tin *• the end the work shah crown." Items ef letrrref. More beef w pecked in Kaoaas Oity, Mo., then in any other city of the Uni ted B tales. Raid a initios to en obstreperous pria oner. on the day of hi. trial. ''We want nothing bat alienee, and bot htue ol that" . Two German fire companies in Elyria, 0.. recently Aiabamiad beoaise the Oonncil passed a prohibitory beer ordinance. A correspondent aaka-" What take# up more room on a aidewalk now-a-Oaya than A fashionsbly-dreaaed female T Answer—A boy in a new pair of boot*. At the Frienda' yearly meeting at Newport, a venerable Quaker made hie eppeeranee for the seventy-sixth time, hawing I men present at every meeting ainoe 17^8. Domeatie young lady, making pin# : " The kitchen a no pl* ioT >*; Haa dough each an attraction for too? Clever vowth : "It ian't the dough, oouain, it'e the dear," A boms-sick Pennsylvania school boy, eleven year* old, walked home, aeventy-eight mile*, in two days and a half, with no nourishment whatevar - oept green clover leave#. It ia wonderful the amount of anapr • piahneea and inactivity that can be crowded into a narrow-minded, biliooa hotel clerk. Yon oan only realiae it by Making a eimple question. A couple were married the other day at Taunton, Mass., after a patient court ship of thirty year*. The clergyman who performed the wtm noi born when they were affianoed. A rich bachelor in Providence de clarea he moat marry a girl who aoda her name with " is, and all the Fan nie'a and Joaie'a and Minnie's are think ing what they wiU do about it. Notwithstanding the eoolneaa of the summer, eld 80l did his beet last week in Clarendon, Vermont, where he beam ed so densely on a tin milk pan that hi* reflections set a house on fire. Raid a pompous husband, whose wife had stolen np behind and given him a kiss: *' Madam I consider each an act indeooroua." " Excuse me," said the wife, " I didn't know it was you." The editor of the Bangor Whig and Courier gives an account of a man who traveled nearly forty miles in Maine, passing through several towns, before he was able to obtain a glass of liqaor. Of one hundred and eighty-two boya in the Connecticut Bute Reform School, the annual report of the super intendent makes the in ten-sting state ment that one hundred and eighfy are lirt An Albany, man who was excitedly demonstrating to a crowd that there is no such thing as hydrophobia was the first to shin up a barber's pole when a small yellow aog came rushing down the street. Mm. Corbin, of Evansville, 111., haa discovered tht women succeed better st everything else than at motherhood. She eavs t!. -t of all the children bora in Car." tesd.-a only one-half reach the age of six yearn The experiment of bringing the salt marshes at Rcituate and Marsh field. Mas*., under cultivation, by building dikes, ia proving verr successful, crops of herbs, gram and vegetables being already well advanced. A man in easy circumstances in Ben ton, Yt., the other day banged himself because be hsd been sued for |29. He left a note saying that he was perfectly sane, but if be had got so low that his name wasn't good for 929, he had no desire to exist any longer. A timid man wants to know " bow to tell a mad dog." We dont know what be wants to tell him, but the safest way would be to communicate with the dog in writing. Send the letter from a gun in the shape of wadding, followed by small shot to see if be gets it . In the register ol the pariah of Madeleine in Paris'the following en tor appears under date of October 16, ITWt; •' Paid seven francs for a coffin for the widow Capet, who was decapitated this dev." The " widow Capetwas none other than Marie Antoinette, Queen of Franee. Answers to correspondents. —Hos ! band—lt can't be helped now. If you mw b<*r stand in front of a trunk store ! for ten minutes, walk all around the specimens displayed on the sidewalk and kick every oneof their corners, you may make np your mind for an early departure from the city. Wife of his bosom (directly he cane home at night)— Charley, I've just got a lettor from motbe . You know she waa here only last week (yea, you can see by the expression of his face that he basu't forgotten that), and she haa lost all her property by the failnreof Splur ges, and—and now, I a'pose, Charley, she'll have to come and stay with us all the time. A Mnndav-achool inquiry and answer mav be told as follow*: "Tommy . Howell, can you tell me what ia meant by the word miracle, so often used in 1 the Bible which TOU now hold in your hand ?" " Tea, kisa Harvey, I think T can. Ma says if yon and Captain Smith, who was with you at the Prea ; byterian picnic, don't marrv pretty , soon it will be a miracle." Chief Justice Chase, who administer ed the oath of office to Lincoln in 1865, to Johnson aooa after, and twios to Grant, made a practioe of sending to the wife of the President the Bible on which the oath waa taken, mar kin* the passage therein pressed by the Presi dent's lipa. Andrew Johnson, we are told, kissed the 21at verse of the 11th ehapter of Ezekiel, and Grant in 1869 the 121 st Psalm. A most remarkable instance of family rotation in office exißta in the aeleotiou of United States Consul to Falmouth, England. President Washington ap pointed as our first Consular repre sentative at that place a Mr. Fox, who held the office many years. Upon re tiring therefrom he was succeeded by his son, who occupied the position un til recently. Howard Fox, a eon of the last above mentioned, was nominated to succeed his father a few daj-s ago. It is definitely established at last that a oork leg is not a life-preserver. A few days since a deck passenger on a Louisville and Cincinnati packet sprang overboard. A boat and crew went im mediately to his rescue. Aa he floated on the snrfaoe of the water no one sus pected that he was in any danger. When lifted into the vawl he was dead. A patent cork leg tlxat he wore hsd kept the body from sinking ; but, as his head was not oork, it sunk just enough to drown the unfortunate man. Abby Smith and her sister, of Glas tonbury, Conn., have again had some of their property sold for non-payment of taxes. Instead of distraining on movable property, as the sistera olaira the law provides, the collector this time appears to have disposed of a strip of meadow land worth $2,000 for 875.35, the amount of the tax and costs. The Misses Smith declare indignantly that they will go to law about it, and deolare this to be "the meet shameful treatment they have aver passed through,"