u When I Am Head and Buied. , When I m ti**A *nd burusl, then There will be mourning among men. I hear one mneing on my dust : * How hard he fought to erto hie cruet." And one. '• He u too eenrttive In thie cold-wintered *(*W to lire." Another, weeping, " Ah. how few Ho gentle-hearted and *o true." " I met him only once, and yet, I think I never eh all forget The t range and look in hie young eyee," One other aaye, end then with wis* And eolemn-shaking head "No doobt The hot heart burnt that frail frame out." Good friend*. a diecount on your grief 1 A little present help were worth M ore than a eorrow-etnckeii earth When I am l\m the first moment treated me, I can most truly aay that Clara Bell had never given me any reason to believe that she was in love with me. I was a young, impetuous sailor; she a woman accus tomed to being honored and petted by a huge circle of friends, and who, re membering my profession, had treated me as a I nut her. I am not fond of confessing my sins and weaknesses, but do thia at a warn ing to other nautical idiots. "Clara !" I tremblingly began. She turned from me, and endeavored to withdraw her hand, which I had im prisoned as I uttered her same. "Clara!" No reply—and upon my life, although I had uttered it in a whisper, the name seemed to mockingly echo back from the gloom. However, I felt her trem ble. "Clara —my dear Miss Bell" (I was cm the edge of the fall), "I am not used to describing my ordinary feelings, snd tke*e are too deep for utterance — but from the core of my heart 1 love you !" I was over the brink. "Captain 1" she exclaimed! Thia was a quencher. "Miss Bell 1" I faltered. "Will you do me a favor?" she said. Now or never, thought L "I'd tiie to—to—" I * "You stupid man !" she laughed, "have I given you auy reason why you ahould thus address me ?" "Miss Bell." I humblv replied, "most sincerely do I beg parilon for my pre sumption. " Turning her laughing face full npon me, she said: "Captain, I am not angry with yon, but beg that you will never revert to this again until we ar rive at Porto Bico, and then von must tell dear Jack all about it. t am not angry, for you have sl*>wn yourself in every other way a true friend and gen tleman. I completely forgive this weakness on your part, and only beg you will promise me that when we meet dear Jack you will ask him if he will agree to what you wish !" I was floundering about in the "boil" at the foot of the mental Niagara, and she had, by her womanly tact, as it were, fished me out and landed me. "But to which Jack am I to confeas ?" I cried, beginning to treat the matter as a joke—serious enough to me, for I feel the wound to this day. "Not to the poodle, surely ?" "To the first Jack who comes on board upon our arrival off Porto Bico!" replied the ladv, holding out her hand. " Uood-night, 6'aptain G I escorted her to the oompanion-way, and then returned to my seat. I did not feel any great amount of self-conceit iust then ; in fact, had a ware washed me off the poop at that moment, I should not have tried to re turn to the ship. I had no doubt but that she was engaged to some fellow—a mere mass of—well, not anything like myself- (Sclf-eonoeit rapidly returning.) In fact, when I thought the matter over, I came to the conclusion that this charm ing, lovely, divine, snperb, elegant, be witching young lady had been conking fun of me, and that she really was in love with some narrow-chested, vapid, weak-constituted Porto Bicon. (Helf conceit quite recovered.) I really began to pity her, and thonght that my dear, bluff old father was a second Solomon. But why had she set her cap at me ? I supposed it was— well, I know better now. . Wo arrived off Porto Bico sliont day break the next morning, and as I gave the word, " Let go the anchor!" Clara came up and saluted inc oa cheerfully as though I had never confessed to her the real state of my affections. I couldn't help worshiping hex still— quietly of course—and her dress finish ed the matter. I lent her my binocular, and she rested it on my shoulder as though I hail never " gone over the falls." " There he if!" iilie cried, almost drop ' pine my telescope in her exciw-ment. " Oil, they have shaved half of hia body I! and dear Jack, he ia looking at me!" j Here ahe kissed her hand to something in the boat, then grasped mine, mi j said, " Don't yon forget, Captain Q . j Six-foot brother! I thought, as the I boat swept alongside ; but cousin Jack j and brother Jack were, one after the other, recognized and kissed to in panto -1 mine; and I began to wonder which of the knaves would lie her trump cord. They were all tall, handsome, and any liing but the puny creatures of my imagination. Jack number one, with the poodle, climbed up the aide, running aft, canght Clara in his -arms, while slio laughed and cried in turns, patting his brown tface and saying: "Dear Jack ! oh, dear Jack !" The people anifled round me as i though naif afraid that I was a weak, I self-conceited young skipper, whoonght not to be noticed ; but soon brother Jack and consin Jack came tearing aft, but when the brave little woman— Miss .Clara Bell—told them how good I had been to her, and— "To which Jack am I to confess ?" I ruefully inquired, knowing that either manly fellow would be a lenient judge. " to dear Jack !" she laughed ; "but wait a moment. When Mr. Shooks in troduced you, what did you think he said ?" " Miss Clara Bell!" I answered, be coming wiser every moment. " Dear old Shookß 1 he always pro nounces the word Mrs. as Miss, and that was how you became confused ; but now you see lam Mrs. Clara Bell, and T admit to having kept up the joke ; but THE CENTRE REPORTER. , before dear Jack 1 aak tou to forgive me, uiy very good friend t—-! M All the Jacks had atnothereJ her with eareaaea, and " my Jack" was in her arnta. "Mr frienda 1" I aaid, noticing that they nuderatood Ue joke, " will one of I von ho kind enough to point out dear Jack to ate ?" Mrs. Dell advanced, and placing the . hand ahe had moat tcuderly uaroeecd tn mine, merrily looked lar in the face, aud said, " Captain O- —, allow uie to intro duce to you dear Jack -khe Jack of j Hearts— my husband I" Embarrassing. There is a halut peculiar to many walkers, which fttucA, sonic years ago, 1 touched upon satirically, but which ' seems to have survived the jester's ridicule. It is thst custom of stopping friends in the street, to whom wo have uothiug whatever to communicate, but whom we embarrass for no other pur poeo than aiuiply to show our friend ship. Jones meets his fricud Smith, whom he has met on m arly the same locality but a few hours before. During that interval, it is highly probable that uo event of any inijxirtauce to South, nor indeeil to Jonea, which bv a friend ; ly cenatrui'tion Jones could imagine Smith to be interested iu, has occurred, or is likely to occur. Yet both gvntle : men atop and shake hands earnestly. •• Well ; now goes it *" remarks Smith, I with a vague hope that sometluug may have happened. '• So, ao." " How are you knocking them ?" replies the eloquent Jones, finding intuitively the deep vacuity of his fricud answering to his own. A pause ensues, in which both gentle ineu regard each other with an imbecile smile ami a fervent pressure of the hand. Smith draws a long breath aud looks up the street; Jonca sighs heavi ly and paxes dowu the street. Auother pause, in which both gentlemen diseu page their respective hands and glance anxiously around for some conventional avenue of escape. Filially, Smith (with a suddeu assumption of havinp forgotten an important engagement) ejaculates, "Well, I must be off"—a remark instantly echoed by the voluble Jones, and these gentlemen aepuratc, only to repeat their miserable formula the next day. In the above example I have eompaasionately shortened the usual leaTe-takinp, which, in skillful hands, may be protracted to a length which I shudder to recall. I have sometimes, when an active participant in these atrocious transac tions, lingered iu the hope of saying something natural to my frieud (feeling that he, too, was pruning in the niaxy labyrinths of his miutl for a like expres sion), until 1 have felt that we ongnt to have been separated by a policeman. It is ustonisninp how far the moat wretched joke will go in these emergen cies, and now it will, aa it were, convul sively detatch the two cohering parti cles. I have laughed laibict hysteric ally) at some witticism under cover of which I escaped, that five minutes after wan! I could not perceive possessed a grain of humor. 1 would advise anv person falling into this pitialjje strait that, next to getting into the way of a paasing dray, and Wing forcibly dis connected, a joke is the most efficacious. A foreign phrase often may be tnod with success. I hsve sometimes known nil reroir, pronounced "o-revoer," to have the effect (as it ought) of severing friends.— lircl 11 arte. IV by Jenks Never Married. "I think a woman is a tremendous being," said Jenks. "When she's right, she's the lightest thing that floats. When she's wrong, she's the big gest nuisance that plows the sea, even if she's little and dou't draw two feet of water. Perhaps it isn't just the thing to say to a bov like you, but you'll never speak of it, ir I should tell you a little something ?" "Oh, never," I assured hira. "Well, I s'pose I might haTe been a married man, ' said Jenks, avoiding ray eves by pretending to diseover a horse shoe in the road. "You don't say so !" I exclaimed, in undisguised astonishment, for it had never occurred to me that such as Jenks could mnrry. "Yes, I waited on n girl once." "Wo* she beautiful?" I inquired. "Well, I should ssv fair to mid dling," responded Jenks, nursing bis lips as if determined to render a candid judgment. "Fair to middling, barring a few freckles." "But you didn't leave her for tbo freckles ?" "No, I didn't leave her for the freck les. She was a good girl, and I waited on her. It don't seem possible now that I ever ra'aiy waited on a girl, but I did." "And why didn't you marry her?" "Well, tlierle, the giving over to the father or rienda of the girl, by tbo bridegroom, so much blanket, or gun, or ammuni tion, and the taking and carrying away so ronch wife. Young wen usually mar ried tbo older women, and young girls tLe ohbjf men, baeaoa*', as they said, if young people marry among themselves, both are piltons, fools, and do not know how to care properly for each other , DUt if a young mnn marries a mature woman, she ran cook for him and sen that he does u<>t drink up at once aH of the whialirv ; while the mid dle aged husband with a girl bride can make the lodge tight ami wrap her up well'ln the blankets, and provide her delicate appetite with " hyu-muck-a niuck," plenty to eat. Contact with the whites has broken up much of this sim plicity. Parties now make their own bargains, where they are made at all. which in the Heinity of towns is not often, without much regard for anything but chink-a-mhi and muek-a-murk, mon ey and food. And if civilization sdd* something sometimes to the religious ness of the ceremony, it is to lie feared it lias taken sway a great deal more from its sanctity, says a correspondent of the Chrhtain Itcrjiiitet. SIGNS OF DEATH.—In 1870, the Acad emy of Sciences in Paris offered a prise of 20,000 franos (94,000) for a simple but positive sign of death which any non-professional person could under stand and apply. The British Medical Press and (Hrcular says: "The most practical and satisfactory one given was to tie a string firmly around one of the fingers of the supposed corpse ; if the blood circulates in the least, the whole finger from the string to the tip, will swell and become discolored. This depends upon the fact thnt, however profound the syncope, or however death-like the person rasy appear, if there is any cir culation whatever, the person ia not dead. The test is simple and conclu sive." CENTRE HALL. CENTRE CO.. PA.. THURSDAY. APRIL 10, 1870. I'ollowluir (he M;u-. A flag i but a yard or two of bunting when it is looked at a* a matter of fact, but the muu who have IUHMI willing h I die for it all these hundreds of year# have seen tu it something umru thau i coarse cloth. certainly. A popular ! Kngluh lecturer, not rnauv year* ago, itolii eouie anecdote* strongly illwra-' tiveof tlio universal prevalence of Hum poetic feeling among tlie plainest of people. We can only irwat tao of them from memory. An knglish regi , ■ueut m ludia had had it* colore ( until ing hut a square yard of bunting, of course) takcu away from it for aome act of iuaubordtuatiou. livery uwn had - hia rations and pay am usual, and no I , physical punishment of any sort was added to the ideal oue mentioned, kit j ' every man in that regiment groaned and suffered tinder the' chastisement, . t-oaree, illiterate, brutal fellows, per haps, they were. Why ahouhl any of them mind the taking away of a regi uicutal dag ? Common-sense would i laugh at such a punishment for such iueu. But the commander knew what 'he was about. A fort was to !>e storm ed at the top of a long hill. The enter prise was a peculiarly perilous one, and one tliat required something mora thau I ordiuarv courage and ordinary |>eraist •nce. The commanding officer rode t down the ltue to the potutiou occupied by the disgraced regiment. " Man I" he cried, " your colors are at Uie top of 1 the hill —charge !** And charge they did, that single regiment, up the long, ' cannon-swept bill, through the abutti*, over the ramparts, into the fort at last, s mere handful of them left to receive the dag again, for which uiore than two . thirds of the brave fellows liail gladly given their lives ! There was no com* uioii-sense iu the matter, else the fori never could have been taken at all. The poetry in the soul# of those rough soldiers overbore all that, and who shall say that the poetic was not the worthier and more miuily view ? boms of the warlike tribes in India, when one of their iueu falls in battle after showing extraordinary courage, ' decorate hi# wrists with a red silk thread if he be a private, a narrow rib lion if he be an officer, and a broader one as the rank of the dead risst. Not many win this ]>oathnuion* honor at all, and there is no mourning for those whose death is thus repaid. -An ling- i Uah army marching upon I.ucklios j came upon a strong hill-fort which it was necessary to reduce. A sergeant , and seven men constituted the advance- , guard on the march, and when the close proximity of the fort was discovered, the buglers with the main body sounded the recall aa an order for the sergeant ( to withdraw hia guard ami join lusregi ment. The little suuad uustook tlie bugle sound, ami thought it was an , order to cliarge. Obeying it as such, they wut to their certain death on the . rampart* of the fort. The annveoming ' tip stormed the place, and after some 1 hour* of desperate fighting they took iff They found there the dead b<>du- 1 of the sergeant and all his ineo, and , around rarh irrfsf inu "ttr fTyOtf rtd , ritthun, a poetic tribute from the Sepoys , Ito the harouun of their dead roomies. ( Murder and Nalride. A few darn ago, Jam** IV Page, of Vallejo, California, wu arraigned on a Bbtfftn .of having opened a 1< tier sent by the murderer, Russell. uow in jail, to una Wnrreu Ualry. TLi case was not concluded, aud I'agc wan released •iu bail. I'agc and bis aifr separated a abort time before, in consequence of domestic troubles. Mr*. rftnrnol to Vallojo from San Francisco. Pago went to hit room at Vallojo, entered, and looked tlie d'*r, leaving thoir two daughter* outaide. Tbo girU board aogrv words between their parents, and finally their mother exclaimed, "Kill me, then ; kill me. Yuu have often threatened to kill me, now carry out your threat." The next mutant the girl heard a shot fired, followed by two more in rapid aueeeaaion. The scream* of the daughter brought Janice Fuel t their aid, and ha broke open the door. Mr. Page was reeling over the floor and blood was stream lug from her neck. Page waa proatratc, with a piltol-tall through his head. City MuuUd Eer fects the cure. The ftritinh A/> diral Journal, in treating of this subject, sav* the only remedies which are of any avail are those which act on the nervous sys tem, such as hot tea and coffee, or, after the m<\st Violent Symptoms have passed off, a little wine or ammonia. The bromide or potassium i* also highly recommended after tlie nnusea subsides. While this exists, it is of no avail. The writer also thinks that tea and coffee used in excess constantly, although they may relieve a headache, may also pre dispose to tlic difficulty ; aud he cites instances of several patients, who, by giving np the use of those leverages, became cured of chronic or frcducnt headaches." Does field Mining Fay I Twenty vears ago the late Mr. dree ley essayed, iu tjio pnix-r founded by nim, to pfovn that gold mining, ou the whole, was not profitable, and that it even tended to impoverish, rather than to onrioh, a country where it is carried on. At a late meeting of a farmer*' club in Oak lands, Gal., the some idea was advanced bv Dr. K. H. Garr. and liis arguments, having been (extensively copied by the press, nave revived the old discussion. Dr. Carr affirms that every dollar of gold that lnoi been dug in California has cost from one to ouo and a half dollars. Fifty thousand people, he estimates, are engaged in mining in that State. The gold pro duct of the State for 1872 was $20,00t>,- 000. Now, if you reckon labor at $2.00 a day, Dr. Carr calculates the miners' wages would come to $37,. r 00,000. liis deduction is, that the differeueo be tween this sum and the actual gold product represents the loss to the com munity that result* from gold mining. Fmorr.—Directly after the rending of the report of the Poland committee was concluded the other day, Oakes Anion went down stairs to the House restaur ant. and taking a vacant chair at a table with two other member* of the Honse, inquired with n ohnekle if they would allow the wickedest man in Congress to fit with them, and reaaiving an affirma tive answer, he proceeded to put adozen fried oysters where they would "do the most good."— Selected. " Bcerbug " ia what some of the sin ful papers of the West call Milwaukee. The Cellars of New York. A report via sent to tlio Board of tlvalih of New York, and the following j extract will allow the horrible oouditiou , in which tuanv oeotde live in that eity : . Inspectors Morris siul Strong huve t ' completed the cellar ins|iection of the Ith Ward, and made thereon an e labor -1 ate report, from which it is seen that of these cellars 17 are oeettpiad as dwell ings; of tbianuiabe*lß7aredelar>d tube uuflt for such occupancy, and orders , ! mude that they be vacated as such be fore the Arst of ApriL This ward con tains some of the worst cellars in the city —many of these lodging houae cel . lax# yf the*lowest description some di- 1 I fiib d msiaall apart ax-nu by nieoea of ; curtain, while in others the beds are j arraugud alongside of each other, with- out such partitions, and occupied pro- ( miscuoiikly by both sexes. The rate of ' crowding in tiicec lodgingcclUra 1# sneli as to allow from IK to 19fl cubic feet of air space only to raeh individual, ami I this often in the same room in which 1 many of the mmates *' oook, wa*h, | smoke, and (xarfonn all tlirir |diysieal ' fnnctioift." i j The largest room found contained •Jfll.fi, and the smalleet about 136 cubic 1 feet of air Hnace. The latter was orou-1 pied aa a bedroom fur three or four , children, the occupants of the cell eon slating of a family of 7 persons and 10 lodgm: "(otitis closet there was no ' eroas-vetiUlation the door affording the only egress for the foul air, and for tunately the only inlet for probably fouler air. Oeucrally, whore there were • ' over two or three rooms, no vnaUlatiou was attempted for the sleeping-rooiua. In many, especially the dance cellars, the only ventilation attempted was by s small treiiaum window over the door." VYhare thorough ventilation waa pro- ' vided, the rear window gem-rally o|ened into a narrow area or well-hole, where the air was "so damp and heavy aa to le more a predisposing cssw of disease . than pabulum to the blond." The most frequent disease met with in thrac cel lars wss alcoholism, due to the large ' numler of rum-abopa and rum-eelLara is • the ward. The lnaj-etor* also encoun tered a large number of oases of catarrh and brouclnal affections, though these were found to prevail as extcusirely among people living above ground as with the cellar pipulltsm. Cases of 1 rheumatism were also frequently found. . I'be greater part of this ward being or- | j iguially swampy or marshy ground, it j ■ waa seldom that any sub-cellar or open nuace beneath the floor waa found ; and the floors resting directly on the ground their condition was, as might be expect ef. rotten stid bad. The only floors ' 1 found in good repair Iwing those of the '• dance cellars," which were kept u> or der for übvioits rnaeona. A large ntun- ( , her of the ceilara of this ward have al- ( ready becu vacated as human dwellings, . through the effurts of the Inspector of ' the district, and these were found by ' the Inspector# either clowd or occupied for other putpoare. The report con cludes by calling attention to the " moral aspect of this question, and the . great good which will lie eaUhUsliad by i closing forever these tlllhj den# of im , morality and diseaae." Ur. Kadenuuvt, Agaistafi* Chemist, j has made an examination of the air in some of thn lodging cellara of this want, and report# llic proportion of carbonic acid found to be from 111 to 'hi parts ui f 10,000 of air, or from m arly four to five times the normal quantity. These et- ! sininationa were made early ui (lie night, soon after the arrival oi tholodg- I .ire; and when the atmosphere mso raj>- , idly deteriorated, it is fearful to imagine ( what will be its condition before morn- , itig, or after receiving from 0 to 0 hours ' the carlmnic acid frCm the lungs and the animal exhalations from the bodir* I of the filthy ami sweltering masse* of humanity witliin ita narrow I limits. A Strang* Saielde. The village of Montgomery, N. Y., was thrown into great excitement by j the report Uiat Misa Hat tie' Clay ton, on interesting young lady, aged about j tw.nty years, had oonuuitted suicide by ' taking s dose of laudanum. Investi gate >u iuto the affair proved that tb. rumor was well founded. Misa Clayton waa the daughter of poor widow of Montgomery. The latter left home to : visit another daughter in the conn try. 1 A young ladv came to Montgomery with I a Utter to Miss Clayton for tier mother. The messenger went to the house, and seeing nor hearing no one id suit, en- , tered a bedroom, where alio itisoovcred Miss Clayton lying on the bed appar ently dead. Tlic young lady, although greatly shoeked, went to tne bedside, and saw that Miss Clayton was still alive. A cup containing laudanum stood on n stand by the bedside, and a fearful suspicion seized the bearer ol the letter. She Ha o a physician, who proceeded in haate to Mrs. Claytou a. They found the young huly dead. A note addressed lo lier mother was found on the floor. It was as follows: MosTnoaxsr. March J7, 1*7.1. PEAK M>>THKS XXT> Eim; Monm net fur tlis art lam about tn anoinnt. His thought of . seir-destmtKii ha* tag huug * mi wear? brain. au<) caused me to fink at last. There is not a person to Name hut myself. Weep not for me. f m as lialUe, who has ascended tn a homo be yond the stries. where and sorrow shall cease. 1 will bid mv friends and tins world an affeetlonaU farewefl. Tins shall eud my dee- | tiny. HATTIE CLAYTON, j Tlie neww of the sail affair spread rapidly, and word was conveyed to the niotlier of the unfortunate girl. She returned home, and is nearly crazed over the tragic fate of her daughter. A jury was etimuiouod, and the facta olioi- : ted were iu effect these: T>r. MiQspaugli testified that Miaa Clavton was subject to great meUu- j choir at times, nnd had many times ex pressed a desire to die. Mho often won dered how alio was permitted to live so 1 long. The Claytons were iu very poor circumstances, and llattin had recently horn disappointed in getting work, and 1 had bcctim low spirits for soma days. John Topping, clerk in Bradner I HmithV drug-store. said that Miss Clay-1 ton came to the dtug-store on Sunday last, and representing that she waa suffering from a severe ear-ache, pur chased two ounces of laudanum. The last seen of AUM Clayton, alive, was on the day when her mother went awny. hho was highly respectable. Wontm NOT HICK THlCK. —Foster, who was executed iii New Yurk, did not see lijs two children, five and seven years of ngc, after his incarceration. His mother, being nn invalid, did not visit him. Of his children, Foster said: •• I don't want the children brought here." "Let them think of me heaenfter fcs they have known me—a father at home, not a father behind prison bars," and his wish wo* res ported. New photographs of the lit tle ones were brought to him by his wife a few days before the execution, and ho looked at them scores of times. He handed them around to the keepers, and to liis friends and waa pleased and proud at the compliment* they evoked. The fastenings of the trapeze broke ! fromthe centre pole in a clrcna, while I two gymnasts were performing upon it in N'auhvilld, Tenn. With a scream of terror the men were dashed to the gronud, and one of them was taken up for dead. He waa subsequently restor ed to consciousness, but is seriously if not fatally injured. L BU>Unf In < wtl Mine. •• flown in a coal miue " ia a locality which, although immortalized IB a pop j ular air ground out at th rate of sums . twenty times a day by wbecajr hand or gans under our windows, is not the ' moat inviting place iu the world to eke j out ope'a existence. We diwtrnJ the shaft with a disagreeable fueling of go tug, we know not whither, rave some i wlium into Uie depths of a black pit which yawns beneath us. Ones at the liotbim, tht-re is a dampoppresaive fuel ing In the air ; th# rock overhand drips iHrly water down upon ns, and ocoa sionally an liy stream crawls down our back, aemhag a disagreeable shudder from head to foot. Of ooUree we get bewildered ; the light from the little lamp in our oil skin hat is very dim and Kuuiliy, and cast* a sort of uncwrtaiu ra ' dlancc for alxiut three feet in advance, throwing greeff black ahadows which leave us is a kind at uunleaaaol doubt ; whether or not we shall suddenly atrp into some al'vsa and disappear forever : uit<> the bowels of the earth. We trudge through countlcaa leads, now scrambling over tiuibnrs, then 1 compressing ourselves into incredibly 1 small eol&paaa in orderto crawl through thft narrowest of opMUUgs. There is s j coßglomeratiou of coal dust and mud uuder foot thai stinka to our shoes like ' glue. We trip over the rails, and bruise every square inch of our bodies again*t the "sharp angles of the rough walls, while our hands and face*, arithia a very few ramntea, partake of tlie ntwnber hue t of our surroundings. Boon w encounter a party of miner#, rough, hardy-looking men, far healthier • than we should believe would be the case with beings whose labor is carried on awaj from the light of day. They are pnareutly careless handling of the powder in cloae proximity to the unguarded flames of the lamps. The men manifested no concern, and are all coolly smoking or chatting. Now, tlie charges are ready, and one at the miner's light* the fuae from lus pipe. We scramble precipitately to a sale position in total disregard of either ' >lirt, wet, or braises; sou then, in a state of suspense, we stop our ears and 1 w.>nd-r whether the smoke will leave i us entirely or only partially suffocated. I The men lounge biuly out of the way, funning a littia group by themselves, and puff quietly at their pipes. A flash -then a deep muffled explo sion, which echoes through the long cavern*, and is followed by the rambling and cra*h of tne (ailing drbrim- olonde jf daawc sulphurous *mukr fill the chamber, rising up to the roof sad cur linn away toward the shaft. We get down close to the floor with s ! handkerchief— very grimy one by this ; time—over onr noee'and inwardly yearn for one breath offreab air. Meanwhile the blasters wait anlil the smoke die- COKM, and the atmosphere becomes is stifling; then they resume worlu : Some pile the detached bits of coal in lies]*, rt thr fill the tubs. Then the mules are signalled for, and we hear the noise of their hoof* approaching, min gled with the sound* of blow* and an aiaraungclmruaof expletives on Uie part of Uie drivers. The animals are attached . the apd, after arguing enmetimeto I with Ui .r aUmtideols, mule fashion, by ifrumming on tne wagons with their heohi, relating to Ur,*>r manifesting .-in unconquerable disposition to lie down, thtyr are at length persuaded, through the agency of a dub or by be ing banged abont tbe head with a lump of coal, that resistance is nm-leas, when they reluelsnUy start off on a slow jog trot. We follow them to Uie abaft, leaving the tamers swinging tbeir picks or hammering st their drills, apparently careless of the dark heavy atmosphere around them.- Fn hangr. California Banditti. Since the withdrawal of the telegraph from the San Joaquin country, oays a | California paper, in the neighborhood i of FtrebangVs Ferry, there has been • great influx of desperadoes to the sec tion, and acta of lawlessness have be come of daily occurrence. The absence of the telegraph gives these characters every opportunity to ply their vocation , without the fear of #pe-dy capture, and j life and property are in constant jeop ardy. Bands of cattle and sheep are lxildly driven off, and horsna are stolen under the very noses of their owners. Oonrge 1,. Hoffman kiwpe a store and hotel there, and is Postmaster and Wells, Fargo A Go's. agent. Wednes day evcuiug, about 7 o'clock, just as supper was over and the boarder*, seven in number, were seated about the fire, ; enjoying their pipes, five men, armed to the teeth, entered the room with pistols 1 drawn, and ordered the astonished crowd . !to throw tip their huida. Being taken so completely by ear} ,r > M> > no altcrna : tive was left bnt to comply with the I demand, when they were lxmnd and , laid upon the floor. So little disturb- i once WAS uiodc during this proceeding that Mr. Hoffman, who had not yet fiuisbod liis meal, knew nothing of w hat ' waa going on until he emerged from the dining-room, when he saw a guard at each door, and found himself looking down the lierrel of a large-sited revol ver. He was commanded to hold np his hands, but not complying at onoo with , the command, it was repeated with on earnestness which left no doubt of the ! intention of the ruffians to enforce the order. Mr. Hoffman was then obliged to open his safe, from which was ex tracted $2!V> of his own money and SIOO l Itelonging to Wells, Fargo A* Co. The stag* from this place to VisAlit drove up during this time, and the driver, > Dennis C-onroy, was seized, bound, and laid on liis face in company with the others, after l>eing relieved of ®JO. Tweuly-scvcn dollars were also taken i from a'man nnmcd Allen, and about S2OO { worth of clothing from the store. Bnt, ' five of the robbers were seen, all Span- ! iards except one, who was a Frenchman, I Init the 1 louse was supposed to be sure ! runuded with desperadoes. Mr. Cotirov, tuo stage driver, was bound and rubbed alniut a year ago near Soap Lake, while making his usual trip. One of his assailants was captured and tried, and Mr. Oonroy's testimony se cured for him a term" of twenty years in the BUte prison. Among the band on Wrdursday night he recognised an other of the party who had attacked him a year ago, and the ruffian accrued to faintly remember him, for lie aorutin l izod tiis countenance closely s number of times, and turned him over and over in order to find some more sure resem- ! blanee. He then consulted the loader i of the hand, who asked Mr. Hoffman ' who Cilia man waa, Mr. Hoffman, re- ] I inembering the previous robbery, re- i plied that lie hau just arrived in tlie State, and that the regular driver being sick, ho had been driving iu his stead. This explanation seemed satisfactory, and the robbers left, much to the re lief of the poor fellow's feelings, for be says hnd he been identified they would certainly have killed him for sending one of tlieir comrades to prison. The canal company is ut work some miles from Firebaugh's, and the party headed directly for that point, and it was thought they contemplated an at [ tack on them, though when our infor mant left nothing definite waa known. The first almanac waa printed in 1441. Torinfiis BQ.OO a Year, in Advance. The fltnry af a Boat Will. Two or three month* ago, says lbs Detroit /Vee /Vnis, J. Howell, a fprni ture dealer, set about overhauling a , desk filled with old pa|wra—papers which hail been accumulating on hia bands for several years, until be could scarcely say where or how he git the ino*t of them. After throwing away a bushel or m<rr sealed and tied with red tape, lie oould not remember buy ing sreu it before, and waa amaaed when he broke the teal and read, " Last will and testament of Israel Wbitwortli. " (letting further down, he found that Uie paper waa nine years old, and that tin will gave to " Margaret L>avia, my ais t<-r, ur her children, the Uordou farm, situate two and one-half mi Irs from 8k Joseph, Mo., together with all live stock and farming utensils; further, the sum at $3,000 in bank in Ht. Joseph i unless I shall have withdrawn it), my gold wateli, mv household furniture, and the oua-half of what my honse iu St. Joseph may briug at private sale.' Ho read the will aa far as the sister and her kin were concerned, and then Whit worth made beqtn-sta to eoveral other relatives. The will was dated " 1 >-trait, Aug. 10, 1863." It occurred to Mr. ltowell that the will might >* of some aooouut to some one, and he wrote to Mrs. l>avis, directing the letter to St. Joeepb, Mo. In about (wo weeks he received e reply frera ber, dated et Weston, same State, his letter having been forwarded to that point. She stated that lier brother had been Jead nearly eight years, and that she had never known of a will. The property had been divided among four near rela tives of the deceased, or ahould have been, but three of them had cheated her ont of moat of what fell to her in dividing up. She further stated that her brother had a cousin in I>etroit years ago, and that he waa in tliia city on a visit about the date of the will. The cousin's name waa signed as one of the witnesses, and a Mr. Johnson, now iu Cincinnati, waa the other witness. Howell seat on the will, and received a grateful letter from the woman, who said that the will had been admitted to prol>ste there, the witnesses called on, and that she had bean put in possession of nearly 930,000 through hia finding the will. She cautioned bun to look out for an express package, and will probably senu something handsome. Tlie puzzling tiling of the whole ia that Howell can't tell where or when ha got the will, nor imagine bow the deceased come to leave tl where it would fall into the Lands of a stranger. A Terrible Crulae. The attention of those contemplating dime novel writing ia railed to the fol lowing item r From Melbourne, Aus tralia, news has come of Captain Ar lington, who baa been cruising about in the South aeas for three or four roan with the good ship Althea. Rxa crew con*]tied original!j of forty-Are men, but in the conrae of time acrrnteeß died, rhe remainder, however, were declined to meet a more horrible fate. For when the vexsel waa near Mada gascar, one day, the watch suddenly noticed a denae black cloud approach - ing. It aoon enveloped the ship, and was aeen to eonaist of myriads of black flics as large aa bee*,'which settled upon and completely covered the deck and masts and stung the sailor* until they were almost crazy. So heavy waa this entomological load that the ship well-nigh foundered, and it was found impossible to sweep the intruder* off. At last an opportune gale carried them away, and a few day* afterwards the Altliea found herself ploughing through miles of their rotting carcases. A loathsome stench filed the air, and eight of the crew were immediately at tacked with the small-pox and aied. Touching at the adjacent port of Bolala Qie inhabitants were fonnd to be also suffering from the name disease, and it was reported that the interior of the country waa nwartuing with the same description of fly. It was thence con cluded that these pestilential creatures are the cause of small-pox. They de vour all manner of filth, particles of which adhere to their hooked claws, and are thereby conveyed into the systems of such persons aa they may bo nor with their attention. The AHhee made aail again in a hurry, but afterwards went through one or two experiences similar to The preceding, and finally arrived at Melbourne with a baker's dozen of miserable invalids. Fan at Home. Don't be afraid of a little fnn at home, good people. Don't shut up year houses lest tlie sun should fsde your carpets, and your hearts lest a happy laugh should shake down some of the musty cobwebs there. If you want to ruin your sons, let them tnink that all mirth and social enjoyment must be left on the threshold when they come home st night. When once a home is regarded as only a place to eat, drink and sleep W, th* work is begun thst ends in gambling-houses ana degradation. Young people must have fun and re laxation somewhere. I' they do not find it at their own heartlistonen, it will l>e sought in other, and perhaps less profitable places. Therefore let tlie fire burn brightly at night, and make the home ever delightful with all those lit tle arts that parcuts so perfectly undcr stand. Don trepreaathebnoyantapiriU •f your children ; half an hour of mer riment round the lamp and firelight of home blots out the remembrance of many a core and annoyance during the dav, and the beat safeguard they can taie with them into the world is the unseen influence of a bright little do mcstie sanctum. Men of Action. Some men seem to be sent into the worhl for purposes of action only. Their faculties are all strung up to toil and enterprise; their spirit aud their frame are alike redolent of energy. They pause and slumber like other men, lint it is only to recruit from actual fatigue; they occasionally want quiet, bnt only a* a refreshment to prepare them for re newed exertion, not as a normal condi tion to bo wished for or enjoyed for itself. They need rest, not repose. They investigate and reflect, bnt only to estimate the l>eot means of attaining their ends, or to measure the value of their undertaking against its cost; they think, they never meditate. Their mis sion, their enjoyment, the object and oonditiou of tlieir existence, is work ; they coukl not exist here without it; they cannot conceive another life as de sirable without it Their amount of vitality is beyond that of ordinary men; they are never to be seen doing nothing; when doing nothing else thev are always Bleeping. Happy souls! Happy men, at least! SQCARINO THK CIBCIA— An easy method of finding the approximate ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter ia to take the first three odd numbers in pairs, thus: 113355 and di vide the laat three figures by the firat three, aa 355—113. This gives the re sult, 3.141592, which ia the true ratio, up to six places of decimals, of the oir ole. The Straita of Macinac, Mich., are said to be frozen from shore to shore and from top to bottom. XO. 15. ] > A House One Thousand Tears Old. Tb® lofttoat house, sod the moat feet in the matter of architecture! have ever sees, waa tbat which a wooddltof per occupied with hw family ofawmtoi in the forsato of Banta Crux county. It was the cevity of u redwood-toea, two l hundred and forty feetjn height Fire had eaten away the trunk at the baaa. until a circular room bad been lonned 1 sixteen feet in diameter. At .twenty . (m( or mora from the ground wax a , knot-hole, which afforded egn-M foftfce 1 smoke With hammocks bung trom pegs, and a few oooking utonsito hung upon other pegs, tbat tsonae lacked no j caseatial thing. This,woodman wfa fa puasesaion of a hcuae wtitoh fiad i-eao a thousand yaam in peoceaa of building. Perhaps, u tla vary day it was finished he came along and entered in. How did all lack knife and lisnd-aaw archi tecture sink into inafanifieanae in con trast with this bouse in the solitudes of tli great foetal! Moreover, the tenant faml like epnaee. Within tbtpywnto of his ooaiferwu* house a mountain •imam went rnshiug past to ths sea. In the swirls and edaie# under the shelving racks, if one CMbl aa* toi>d half a dozen trout wtthfa an hour, he. deserved to go hungry as a penalty for his awkwardness Now and thouadeer came out into ths openings, and, at no great distance, quail, rabbits and pigeons ouuld be found, what did this man want more than Nature firmubad him ? 'He had a house with a " enpola two hundred and fortv fast high, and game at the cost of taking ik This Areadiaa simplicity would Save made a lasting .tupres*ion, but for a volunteer remark, that nothing could be added to give life a more perfect zeet " Well, yes," said he, "I reckon if yon are goisg back to town, tou might tell dim to send me up a gallon of wMaky, and aome plug to- I banco." It vrOl not do to iavate a hoi low trea with too much of aentuaeat sod poetry. If thai message had not been suggested, we should have been under the delusion to this day that Uto lives of those people, dwelling ip a house fashioned a thousand years ago. were rounded to a perfect fullness, wiihefa one artificial want. —Oi< rland Muxttkly, Bailing Hai Water tor a Jekcr. There to a lawyer in Ban Francisco who, for the accommodation of his clieuts, has a speaking tube leading from ths main entmnea at hto building to hto office, which to just up a Tew flights. For several dsys neat a smart voung man named Swartx haa amfard himself by calling for toe lawyer through the pipe, and then profanely ordering him to set out on an expedition to Tar tarus. For soma, time this fun was token in good part by ths legal expound eg of the new code until the ftnenumor of the joke no longer became Mfart Accordingly, one afternoon, tha, dis ciple of Blarkstone provided himself with a teakettle of wafer, heated to about 210 degrees, Fahrenheit, and waited alongside the pipe. Pretty soon the old, f*"" 1 '"- sound came wp through the pipe, "Say, cap., how's tricks ?" "Track* is better now—l guess hell get well," responded the lawyer, rftsch mg out after the toskrttto. "What's been the matter with him V "He got burnt.*,i ' t "Ho*?" i v , •Til tell you in a miaul* "Oh, you go to Hades." * *■ y ThcLiwver had finished hto last sen tence and Hi en let a quart of scalding water down the pine. Swart* hsd'bft month over it, condndiug hto objtifate tion, end when the water struck it he waa somewhat surprised. Water was not apt to surprise him, but het water was aa unexpected novelty. The roan above poured in water for about a minute and then looked out of the window. The smart young man was getting along the sidewalk at a pretty lively gait, having evidently just got up from a sitting posture. He was trying to yell "Police," but couldn't articulate with taucn succeas. adoui 'half aa honr afterward he found him self ibh> to speak, and inquired, "Did that boiler explosion hurt anybody ?" Bitten by a Vampire. In an account of the <1 ventures remedy in the shape of a aeonation whudi each one drew out of hto earn. With this the patient made himself s piaster for his wound, and appeared to think but little of it Questioned as-to his sensations by the white travelers, who found themselves s good deal a|oie dis turbed with theTde* of the viiupuv than they had been by any indioauooa at tigers or wild-boar*, the fellow explain ed that he had felt no sensation, unless it might have been an agreeable cool ness to his saud-baked feet The inci dent seemed so disagreeable ami So liksly of recurrence that Oolonel Peres < ever afterward slept with hto feet rolled , up in a variety of fantastic draperies, | while Mr. Maroov for several nights re- j tamed his boots. ' ,• * No Momxy.—Unless during an ac knowledged panic there haa notf for rears been a time when money ja% so ( scarce as now. In the larger cities the banks have little monejh—scarcely enongh to meet their regular daily, de mands. and aa for sooomadations, they are simply out of the question, file best paper with the best names meet the common fate, and the cry of .'.'nq, money" to met with everywhere. The best business men—known fa be inde pendent! yweH off—are no better situ uted than the'poorer classes just now. for even they cannot get sufficient money' to make* the wheels of business run' smoothly. The financial report# tell a most mournful tale. . A The agents of the workingmen's union representing the men on strike in South Wales recently proposed to accept a re duction of 10 per cent, on their wages for two weeks, then the old rate for a month, and from April 1, 10 per cent, advance. This ultimatum was unhesi tatingly rejected, and the strike con tinue* It is probable, however, that the workmen cannot hold out very much longer, as the tradesmen who gave them credit for two monthaare unable to con tinue doing so. . ... The English Attorney-General pro poses to reduce the number of jjirymsn in all except capital cases to seven, and to render valid the verdict of a majority of these. * -• '* CMkfl ***** ml miliioMS (oa-tochu>, cub (et-tochn." Om fit- mpiwtM MwMj seals i fourteen day* ia|be B|jr of Newfound land. ' • • •* • the Wi. * t Another of tisrJMfiJl of England •windier* hM bwo arretted-rtlu* one at Jamaica. The lashionabla Menii* jflovesare of so* perm A e iWtfc, with art or eight htttap*. • * '•' f •**• ■* Mayor Havemeyer pf New York, lately married a cofad* whose Vt/i't'nj I'ijiin war is TtSTStiTst to tttefrakiinsa. of Oregon, who object to go on a Juration. M It togNfPeed in Akhatna to Mcn.pt , i ait widow* teem toxati< -a whose property t ,f ' rj- fdUupnew'ta j""tl. hfthto iorts with (i a gun to make 1. fa g°. *b* fahree went, i the gun went, and three figeri went i too. •* * o A Bcrenton, Pa.; ecni aaiher, named >, Afauet Maytestt, ewomitfad suicide by ' 1 throwing himself down a shaft 400 feet ' 1 Two boy* and a man ware inn cvsc 11 end kitted in Imufariito by the homes of * oroua wagon, which Wfae running '. away. * Boris sixty head of eettte of Law k 1 fancy berg, lad., mi pafammd by some unknown. Forty-mns bead An active bachelor In Maine claime 1 U He Ma) iim lend Chamber haa re |' In all rrtmlnal rfafa. •' it • The Wtotous (Mum.> MtgmbUcan eaye . they heea found <-veral mlroad traini .' nawjn enow hee began to tone down j The Minnesota paper* wieb the Celi -11 foenta papsiu would rated their own ' boatneea on the subject of climatic oom jxrieooa, •I laluln. the little African boy that '' StanU r thought bank attache diaoover ' i ed LiringßtoM, haa aoteetd a barber ( , ahsp ia Milwaukee to learn the tnde. Whamlkigham Yonng'i children eing 21 f man cornea home without delay. aat fane rat proeeaeioo stopped and J pat out a fire on the roof of a boose ut llFaroington, Me., and then solemnly i | continued fa its way to the buryicg i, grut.niL, • } l T ealadTaependthrift for ofl, a miaer tor 4 vinegar, a nunaaelnr far salt, and n I tp-** to stir all up. The first mala taken down tha weat ,' abaft of the Hooeae Tunnel waa brought : op tha other day, after three years of • saaidenm In the bowels of the earth. Hto ipinia were ae gay at ever. In the following notice there ia eome thtag tralr Homeric: " Hare a care. A fat oew will be hewn to pieoea in my .yard, fa Tnaaday aft 11 a. OL, sharp, 1 andlhe fledh will be eold at 3d. alb ." 1 Three hondred liberal Catholics of 1 Oeoeeahere signed a letter requesting Frere JBraeiathe to aano*-IL>- pastorate of a flock there ; lb* service to be not ' Anile eo bfgh-n-n-the gfaerine Bo man . Cbafah. i J>j . Tha. Illinois Heoae of Bepreaente tires, liy a vote of 163 V> 4, adopted a ! resolution sfauniycfa—ribgthe Illinois t'<>ufrreesneo who voted to increase their ealanea at the cud u{ the late term 'rftongtosl. ' The !aet faeMonaMe hiak ia pep-corn ) parties. It ia ekimed fast they not only keep yonug men from another kind of porn. l parUek, bat Out they are 01 ft"—ae i There baa hem dkeorered ia the j debnebfthmflfo at ltolMng Fork the 1 cbanod ramaiito of four human bodies, ' and mother to etffl mtomng. T!e flie { to believed to have bean sauced to eoo , ocal their in order. The Baltimore plasterer* have de ' cided to Slat of Maeeh SSth of June, cad gt per day thetfafter until the 29th dar of NoTember. fiid then 40 cento per hour until the MMiof the following March. d Izli c Tha Chioaoo PotC aay* : "If Miaa Anth the ccmwphmllng month* of tost year, . was 47.00 aokd inches. - L f A Frenchman's invention for prevent ' ins suffocation br choke-damp in mines to i tin knapsack weh' to filled, at a supply pipe us the fake, with air, and to saaUy> carried on the miner's beck. A successful experiment was made with ft in (he Pari* Catacombs. . . the hilto pannntl by the XLTId OomnwH sraa one prohibiting the use oflhe word "National" by banking honsee,- save those which are regularly ' Incorporate*! under the laws ol Con ms The penalty of nen-compliance with this law ha fine of gSO for every (toy ths word remains. A bar of ten years old and a girl of nine, living in Detroit, fluted out into tie country tlieotherday to get married. Ther footed it out four miles, and then having called upon a farmer to aak if be ' didn't famt to let them live in pert of his house after the marriage, he took them in charge and brought them home, u The native Sandwich Islanders are rapidly going the way of .all flesh. The last census shows that while for the last I gix Tears the births on the islands of 1 children of foreign parents have exceed -led the death* of trie same, the deaths ' among Ul classes of the native popula i titer haw exceeded the births at a rate i that forebodes Ihe extinction of the ! native race within thirty years. Twwdrunken fellows in Morgansfiold atunttfled into a dentist's office the other day, and foundtoing upop a table a pair oTlonMl vne of th*m thereupon imposed to the other that ho should pipy dentist, sad ( ipmigjpg back into the dentist's chair, opened wide his month. Hie companion inserted the f (weens, and one by ,o*4 . extracted three , ( sound, strong motors^ After a stoTe has been polished it can be lboking verir Well for a long time \yy cubbing it With paper every morning. Rubbing with paper to a mucli nicer wmy of keeping the outside of a to*-kettle, eoffbe-pot, and tea-pot bright and olean than the old way of washing them with suds. Rubbing to the best way- in a Ufet.iu* 7 Not possibly more than 600, we are told, which, in the natural conrto, are distributed in the following proporlkm: First year after birth, 16 to , 20; second year, 100 to 120 ; third, 120 1 to lfeTfouAh, 100 to 115 ; fifth, 60 to iKh sixth, SO to 00; favfath, 35 to 40; i eighth, 15 to 20; math, \to 10—not ex actly a lame and impotent conclusion, but near enongh to'it to* make na feel i sorry tar the hen.