Tk Hidden Jay. Through leafy by-oatha, sheltered and apwit. Whistling the carol of a hcai t. In idle gtadacae strolled a truant tuj. Up in a tree-top swayed a MM* Mr 4 Anuly becanne it Seal# ao fully Meat. The mated bird flies not on open wing, Pitt sing* from out the bough and eo 1 ting The happy aecret hidden in tnv breaat. Cold!— Bitterly I'elJ. CeW '—bitterly eokt I The moon is bright, And the snow i* white, beautiful to heboid; bat the wind is howling. Like hungry, prowling Wolvva on the wintry *ot 1— , Coid i—bitieny ooM 1 H; shawl is ragged and old. The hearth deserted and dark, GU Idcned by never a spark.. And my only light Is the pitiless while Of the moonbeam'* chiU. bi.Verx chill. Cruelly--splendidly bright— Cold !—bitterly cold. llabe, more precious tlian geld, li st, tittle one, rent! bleep, my own one. Clasped to thy mother'* breast. Though thin and wsurted her fortu. Her am* shall eufold. And shield the*' Brum cold ; Tor the love iu her br-. *t is wartu. Though the chill uight bresae ; May the life-blood freese Cold i—bitterly cold 1 Cold t—bitterly cold! My * arc dim, And my sense* wim, I am prematurely old! l\*xlkess and tireless, Almost aturvless, . Wrapt ui ngweo scanty ami thin, filth bones that stare through the colorless •kin. Weary aud wora. Tattered and torn. If I should wish I had ne'er been bora. Tell me, is it a sin * Cold world—Us tier! j cold! Afternoon in Febrnarj. The day is ending. The raght is dascvndinx ; The msrsh is troaeJi. The new dead Through cwnda like ashes The red sun dashes On village windows That ghsntrer ml. The snow recommence*, The buried It OCeS Mark no onger The road o r tha f Uui; While through the meadows, l~k* {earful shadows, Slosly jusses A funeral train. The bell is pealing. And every feeling Within ine responds To the dismal kneß ; Shadows are trading. My hi art ta bewailing Aud tolling withiu. Like a funeral bell. JASON (RfcEL XX IS CI DENT IX PE-VXSTLV ASIA. Th mists of the morning still hung heavily on the mountain-top above the village of Redcliff, bnt the roads which led toward it were crowded with the vtried population of the surrounding coun try from tar and near. At Aylesbury the shops were closed; the hammer of the blacksmith lay npon its anvil; not a wagon - A,* any description was to be seen iu the street; and even the bar of the tavern was locked, and the key gone with iu pro prietor toward the cliff, as a token of an important era which was without a par ' allel in the annals of the place. And save here and there a solitary bead looking through a broken pane in some closed up house, with tn air of sad disappointment; or die cries of a little nursling were heard, betokeuing that in the general flight, it had beer, left in nnskilltul hands; or. mayhap, here and there a solitary, ragged ■nd ill-natured school-boy was seen, or a not less solitary and ill-natured dog. either seeming but half appeased by the privilege *fa ho3iday, granted on condition of stay ing at home—the whole village exhibited a picture of desertion and silence which hid been nn known before. But in proportion as you drew nearer die ponderous cliffs, in the midst of which the little town of Itedciiff was situated, yon mingled again in the duck bustle aud motion of the world, of men. and women, and boys, and horses, and dogs, and all living, moving, and creeping things that inhabit the wild districts of Pennsylvania. The village itself was crowded to over flowing long before the snn had gained a sufficient altitude to throw its rays upon the deep valley, in which it lay. There the bar of an inn was crowded, and the fumes of tobacco and whisky, the jingling of small change, and the perpetual clamor of the throng, were sufficient to rack n brain of common flexibility. In the streets, there was a greeting of old and long-parted acquaintances; the bartering of horses; the settling of old accounts ; the buffoonery of half in toxicaU-d men; the clatter of women; the crying and hallooing of chil dren and boys, and the barking and quar reling of stranger dogs. To look upon the scene, to mingle with the crowd, to listen to the conversa tion, or to snrvey the countenances of the assembled multitude, led to no satisfactory solution of the cause for which this mass of heterogeneous matter was congregated. Within the walls of the old ttonejail. at the foot of the mountain, a different scene had been that morning witnessed. There chained to a stake in the miserable dnngeon, damp, and scarcely illuminated by one ray of light, now lay the emaciated form of one whose final doom seemed near at hand. A few hours before, his wife and little daughter had traveled a hundred miles to meet him once more on the thres hold of the grave; they met, and from that gloomy vault the hymn ascended with the amending sun; and the jailer, as he listen ed to the melodious voices of three persons whom he looked upon as the most desolate ami lost of all in the wide world, almost doubted the evidence of his senses, and stood in fixed astonishment at the massive door. Could these be the voices of a mur derer. and a murderer's wife and child ? This brief, and to be final interview, had Eassed, however; those unfortunate ones ad loudly commended each other to the keeping of their heavenly Parent, and parted; he to face the assembled multi tude on the scaffold, and they, as they said, Jto return by weary journey* to their sor rowful home. The convict, worn out with sickness and watching, now slept soundly. His name was Jason Creel, his plnre of residence said to be in Virginia. He had been taken up while traveling from the northward to his home, and tried and con victed at a country town some miles dis tant, for the murder of a traveler, who had borne hint company from the Lakes, and was ascertained to have a large sum of money with him, and who was found in the room in which they both slept at a country inn, near Kedcliff, with his throat out. Creel had always protested his innocence, declaring that the deed was perpetrated by some one while he was asleep; but the circumstances were against him; and al though the money was not found on him, he was sentenced to be hanged, and had been removed to the old stone jail at Red cliff for security, the county jail being deemed unsafe. This was the day the ex ecution was to take place; the scaffold waa already erected; the crowd pressed round the building, and frequent cries of '•Bring out the murderer!" were heard. The sun at last told the hour of eleven, and there could be no more delay; the convict's cell was entered by the officers in attendance, who aroused him with the imfonnation that all was ready for him without, and bade liirn hasten to his exe cution; they laid hands npon him, and pinioned him tight, while he looked up to ward heaven in wild astonishment, as one new born, and only said : " The dream— the dream I" "What dream, Mr. J&sonf" said the sheriff. " You would do me a great kind ness, if you would dream yourself and me out of this disagreeable business," FREO, KURTZ, Ktlitor Aml Proprietor, VOL. V. "1 draaitm),'' replied thawnvict, "that while you road the death warrant to ute on the scaffold, a tuan came through the crowd, and stood before u*> in a gray dress, with a white hat and large whisker*, and that a bird fluttered over him, and *ang distinctly: " Title ta liowls, the murderer of the traveler." The officer* and jailer held a *horl con sultation, which euded iu a determination to look sharply after the man in grey w iih while hat ; accompanied with many hint* of the resignation of the prisoner, and the possibility of'his innocence being asserted t>y a supernatural agency. The prison doors were cleared ; and t'reel, pale and feeble, with a hymn-book in hi* hand, am) a mien all meekne** ami humility, u *een ttteiing from the prison to the scaf fold. He had no aooner ascended it, than his eyes began to wander over the v**t concourse of jnfoplo around hiui, with a scrutiny that seemed like faith in dreams; and while the shnritf read the warrant, the convict's anxiety appeared to increase ; he looked, and look again; then raised his hand* and eye* a moment to the clear sky, as if breathing a last ejaculation, w hen, lo! as he resumed his tirsl position, the very person he described stood with in six feet of the ladder! The prisoner's aye caught thought, and flashed with fire while he called out: "There is Lewis the murderer of the trav eler!" and the jailer at the same moment seited the stranger b.T the eolUr. At firri he attempted to escajte; hut Iteiiij! secures!, and taken before the magistrates, he con fessed the deed, detailed all the particu lars. delivered up part of the money, in formed where another part was hidden, and was tully committed for trial—while Creel was set at liberty, and hastened, like a man out of his senses, from the scaffold. Three days had elapsed; (.'reel had vauished immediately alter his liberation, vrhen the pretended Lewis astonished and coniouniled the magistrates by declaring Creel to be her husband ; that sbe had concealed the disguise, and performed the whole part by his direction; that he hat. given her the money; which he had sue ceeofully concealed; and that the whole from the prison to the scaffold scene, was a contrivance to effect his escape, w Inch having effected, she was regardless of con sequences. Nothing could be done with her—she was set at liberty, and neither she nor her husband was heard of gn- How A Newspaper Was Started, Years ago, an educated, but rather fast young Knglishman, having run through all his ready money by a long course of fashionable dissipation in the chief cities of the continent, found himself one day in Paris with liis means of livelihood nearly exhausted, and credit ertirely gone. This state of things—almost face to face with want—set him to reflecting seriously, for the first time in several years. "Some thing must be done," mused he, "and that right quickly." "Bread and butter mnt be had, and there is no money in my trowrers wherewith to get it; or, at best, ouly sufficient to last, witli economy, three or four days longer; and, theu what! Being naturally shrewd, of an inventive turn of mind, and a very ready iuk-sltngist, he quickly formed the determination of turning these qualities to present account. "Necessity is the mother of invention," it is said. His resolution to strike out iu his new course was no sooner taken than he proceeded to put it into execution. On-taking account of stock, our impe cunious friend finds lie has just sufficient funds on hand to settle up with his landlady for his last lodgings, take him across the channel to 1/mdon, and to insert au adver tisement he had studied up and prepared, three times in two daily papers of the city. "And what was this curions advertise ment (" very naturally asks the reader. It simply called for five hundred newsboys to sell a new daily paper about to start. As their commission for doing this, they were to receive an extra percentage, hut as a guarantee tand here cornea ill the joke), each boy to le employed must leave with his employer just one pound sterling. This condition was peremptorily insisted on in every case. But the extra induce ment had the desired effect—in fact it took admirably, for hi less than a week the five hundred boy*, or their friends for them, had applied, registered their names, and £5 ho sterling were duly deposited. Mr. Smithson. our embryo journalist, now set himself to work night and day to get up a daily paper. Aside from a few paying advertisements, and some shilling notices, he himself wrote np the entire contents of the little sheet, and on the day the boys w'ere told to come for their papers, the first number was ready. The paper was no longer a myth, but a liviog reality. little did those ragged urchins or their friends snsperf. however, that the whole thing was got up on their money! The ventnre proved a great success: but, on the other hand, had it been a failure— then what? Ah! in that ease our friend wonld suddenly have found it necessary to resume his travels again, otherwise he would have found himself ticketed ten years, at least, to Bridewell. From the first number of the paper the enterprise rapidly grew and flourished; the shoeless little fellows, who so now it ingly furnished the capital to set up a newspaper, soon had their money returned, and none were the wiser, none the worse, for the clever rate that had been played. Thus was ushered into the world that powerful institution, known to-dav all over two hemispheres as the fxmdon Daily TtUfrayK with correspondents in every part of the globe, employing a corps of writers and wielding sn influence second only to the "Thunderer" itself. Mr. 8., the projector, died several years ago, wealthy from theproceedaof an enterprise begotten of sheer desperation, and. though rash in its inception, yet highly successful in its results. THE VICTIM OF THE MENAOEKIK Apro pos of sensational exhibitions, says a Lon don letter, it will be in your recollection tliat an unfortunate lion-tamer named Mc- Carthy waa torn to pieces a few weekß ago at Rochdale, by the lions whom, poor creature, he professed to have "tamed." .No less a personage than loin King, the retired pugilist, has come forward to beard the lions in their den. but it in satisfactory to be assured that his overtures have de clined. 1 knew a lion-tamer who shook in his shoes at the approach of his wife, and yet that henpecked man not only put his head in a lion's mouth, but, what is more remarkable, he drew it out again. He could bully a lion, but he would run in a rathole from his wife. At last she eloped with a Methodist parson, and the poor lion tamer took her loss to heart so much that he never again hail the pluck to look a lion in the face. He caught the jaundice, poor fellow ! and died at Green wich in the flower of his youth and beau tv. I never hear of a lion-tamer without thinking of poor Jackson; but let us hope that the race is now extinct. CJUI-DREX. —Cross, crying, or suffering children may be a heavy care to mothers, but the care may be quickly changed to remorseful grief if they administer " sleep ing medicine" without proper medical ad vice.' At Iluddersfield, England, two in fants six weeks old were recently killed by administering a mixture of opium and aniseed, which had been recommended to the mother by anotber woman. The children were fretful, and the mother pre pared the decoction. It was not long he fore she was relieved of all her care of the little twins, who died from the effects of he opium. THE CENTRE REPORTER. The (tame of " Succotash." Our voting folk* at home have lieeu kept wide awake tnativ eveiiingw ly the new gttmo of atiecotaah, Aa every \joy and girl ought to kuow, mcretaali has two parte —via.: bene* and corn. It ie best in lcaruiug th ■ gauto to commence with the tlrt t>art eoro-in tin.* way : All tlai player* lwiug trateil.ouu begin* bv e>nt iug one, hi* neat right hand neighbor *ay* two, the neat three, and ao ou until kciou 1* reached, but luatead of saving .wren the player asya " ban*." Then keep right oil eouuiing, each naming hia proper number in turn, eight, uine, ten, etc., until fourteen : but aay "beans" instead of fourteen. Oo on again, saving " Itoaus " instead of seventeen or twenty one, or twenty seven. lu other word*, the rale of the game i* : " lb- una "i* to le said in*t<-:ul of seven or any multiple or compound of seven. Of eourwe, when aevci ty i* reached it will lie " be tun" all the way through, with "lean*, beans," for seventy-seven. Win wo er fails to *y '• beau* "in the right place, or says it at u wrong uuutl>er, is out, and the oth ers play on until all are out The counting s coutiuued up to eighty-four, then be. gin* at one again. When "beans" are mastered, begiu with " com." using it wherever nine oc cur*, or any multiple or compound of nine, and continue the couutiug up to cue Luminal and eight. Next try and mix them, for succotash ; naming " bonus " and " corn " in all the right places at the sevens, nines, cto. Be sure and call out " sucvotnali * at twenty - aeven. because it is multiple of nine nud also a eompenudof seven ; at forty nine, which is u multiple of seven find a oow ponml of nine, uud at ruiy oilier number where* these parte Uth occur as multi pies or compounds. To play the game lively, without mistakes, will require quick thinking and careful speaking. The game can be varied by using any any other numbers, and those who have had hart! work to remember the multi plication table will find it a capital exer cise to fix the figures in mind so that the) will stay in their plaeoa. AgrirtUluriti Goldsmith Maid's Time. Among tin* decisions juvt promulgated by the Board of Apjw-als of tin* American Trotting Congress for their meeting held in Providence, 11 1., on the 9th and 10th of January, is that in Un* matter of S. D. Bruce et. aL, for a decision respecting the validity of the record of 2 17 claimed to have been made by the hay marc Goldsmith Maid on tiie Cold Spring Track. *t Milwaukee, Wis., on the *>ihof September, ltd. After viewing the cam* at length, the Board derides ; First—Tuat raid Cold Spring Cuurae, on the day of said race, exceed*d a mde in length, measured in the manner re quired by article 19 in the by-law Second—That said race was a public race, within the scope and meouiug of rule 42. Third—That the official record of said association present* uo protest or other allegation cf any disqualification aa to either hone ; aud that said record con tains conclusive evidence that Goldsmith Maid won said race in three bents, of a Inch the time, as taken by the judge* and projverly placed in the record of said association, was severally 2 20 1-2. 2:17, aud 2:20 1-4. Fourth -That the proof is conclusive that in each heat of said rare snid Gold smith Maid trotted fairly and performed a full mile. Fifth- That the judges of snid race em ployed the assistance of all necessary j**r sons to enable them salve* to projierlv un derstand and judge the race in nil its parts ; aud tlut the knowledge whieh they thus imwsas'd of the performance, and the aforesaid decision of saiJ race which they lrave recorded, were not ifi auy reas onable sense invalidate*! in consequence of xn interruption of their personal view over a part of the course caused bv ob jects occupying the range of their viaiou. For tlieso reason* w<* cantirin the valid ity of the record produced by aaid asso ciation. which establishes that Golflsmtth Maid, iu tin* second heat of said race, trotted u mile iu 2:17. I'HA' RII AL DARWINISM. —Wo "owe Michigan otic" for an illustration of practical Darwinian). Monkeys arc in Unit region. hut they arc very sharp. A Detroit siuldlcr owns one which usually sits on the counter, and is no donht a penuinc attraction. A countryman came in one day. while the proprietor was in the back room, and seeing a saddle that suited him asked the priec. Monkey said nothing. Customer said, " I'll give you twenty dollars for it,'' hiring down the uiouey, which monkey shored into the drawer. Tlu man then took the saddle, but monkey mounted him, tore his hair, scratched his face, and made the frightened rustic scream for dear life. Proprietor rushed in and wanted to know what the fuss wa*. "Fuss!" said the customer, " fuss ! I bought a saddle of your son, sitting there, and when I went to take it he would not let mo have it." The saddler apologised for the monkey but denied the relation ship.—Ro:hr*Ur Democrat nwl Chroniclt. CATTI-E DISEASE. —A bill for the pre vention of nlenro-pneumonia and other contagious ais-ases among cuttle, intro duced in the New Jersey Senate, provides for the appointment of three commission ers. with power to make all needfnl regu lations for the quarantine, treatment and euro of cattle exposed to or affected with any disease whoso spread it is desirable to prevent. The commissioners may, when in their opinion necessary, kill and bnry all infected cattle, and all owners thereof are required, under heavy penal ties, to notify the commissioners of that faet. The nay of the commissioners is fixed at eight dollars per day for each day of actual service. Hctii A BXAR.—A traveler was once making a pedestrian tour of tlie Alps, when suddenly, in a narrow path, he came face to face with a large brown hear. He drew a revolver and was about to fire when, to his amazement, the bear cried out, "Don't fire!" It turned out that the pretended hear was a man em ployed hy some guides, who sent him out dressed in a bear skin when they had a timid traveler to escort. At a precon certed spot the hear would such upon them; and when put to flight by the ex ertions of the guides, the traveler never failed to reward their courage and devo tion by a handsome present, of which the bear received a liberal share. THECBOJ*.—The Department of Agri culture report* that the following Htates have gathered in crops better than the average during the season that has just closed. If the average crop be repre sented by 100, then the large crops nro in the following proportion : New Hamp shire, 111 ; Massachusetts, 103 : Rhode Island, 100; Connecticut, 105; New Jersey, 102 ; Delaware, 108 ; Maryland, 103 ; Arkansas, 102 ; Missouri, 112; Ohio, 104 ; Wisconsin, 108 ; Minnesota, 110; lowa, 114; Nebraska, 112; and Kansas, 119. The total production of which is about 7 per cent, less than last year. John G. Saxe is responsible for the following paraphrase from Martial: Tour nose and your eyes your father gave, you nay Tour mouth your grand&ire, and your mother meek Tour flue expression; tell mo now, I pray, Where, in the nam* of hcavan, you got you ehfk' CENTRE lIAI.L. CENTRE CO.. l'A., FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 2d, 1H72. Vaccination and DUeu.c, The m *t tiiwrinnml vaooinatora. oh tllO OHO liutltl, tttld thlMM' wll'l !iuv had niixt (> do with tb# treatment of infan tile ailments, uu tin' other, gre in lb" belief l hut ditcu.se i* tot eoiHmuuicuble by vaccination. Mr. M.usnui, an I -K" hh plivaicion, MI th< |n*rfuruttuc of mure than fifty thousand vaccinal iona, '> hiw never tn-n other diaoasca commit - DINIIHI with the vneeine dtweaae, not doe* he tielieve in the popular ro|w>rt* that tlittv are ao oommuaieatml." Mr. Leea, wboao observation* were equally extensive, hu borne similar testimony. l>r. W. Jenuer, who in mi year* had tome thirteeu thousand aiok adults anil children under obaanmtion, state* " thai in no case had lie reason to believe, or even to suspect, that any unconstitutional .unit hail la-en conveyed from one person to another by vaccination." During a |H-riod of aevenleen yean, lir. West treated twantv-ai* thousand infanta and children, with a like experience; atnl Prof. l*ag#t, after an extensive familiarity with the d'aeasea of ohiUlreu, iiprewei the opinion Unit the worst which can be charged upon vaccination i tliat, by disturbing for a time the general health, it may rarely give opportunity for the external laanifeatation and complete evo lution of some constitutional affection which but for it might have reinaiued rather longer latent. Where every person in a community has lieeti properly vaccinated, there is little chance for small pox to obtain a foothold ; aud it is also very certain that the presence of the uc vaccina ted ia a standing invitation t> the devtlopemeat and spread of epidemic. The opponents of vaccination, and a far larger Bomber who from ignorance or careleaane** n.-g --lect the precaution, thus become, so far as the public health is cuius rned, a •' dangerous alasa," which, like other dangerous elamee, it is for the interest of the *onini unity at large to remove. Breach of l'romi.e Suit. In tbe United States Circuit t'oiirt. of New York, a declaration win filed by Sadie E. Wilkinson vs. Mark. M. I'omo rnv, who is known aa " Brick" Romeroy, alleging a breach of promise of marriage against the defendant. The chief {Miiuta of the allegation* of the bill are net out iu tbe subjoined statement : The plaintiff allege* that on the DOth of May, 18ti6, the defendant, at New Haven, Coun.,andat New York, solicited her in marriage ; that (die is now unmar ried ; and that in consideration of the promise of tlie plaintiff that she would marry the defendant when requested to do so within a reasonable time, the de fendant promised aud agreed to marry her, hut has failed to do so, bav ing as the declaration alleges, and in violation of his promise, married another woman, whose name is not known to tbe plaintiff, who claim* ffci&.OOO damages. It i* farther set n| in the bill that on the Ist of January, ltft>t>. tle defendant, being a married man and having u la wf til wife, did at New Haven. Conn., pay court to the pUiutiff in view of marriage, am! held himself out then and there to the plaintiff aa a single, nnmarried man, capable of contracting a legal marriage with Misa Wilkinson, and undertook to marry her within a reasonable time when requested to do so. The lady states thai she did entertain the i >licitationa of Pomeroy to marry h-r. not knowing that he wa not sole und incapable of eoutroot • iug a Liwfn! nnion with tier. Slip allege < that the defendant waa, in fact, married and had a lawful wife alive, which fact, ■he MVS, the ib-fe • dant knew. F'or these reasons, she stab**, she has been hurt in her good name and reputation, and pro vented from rei*eiving the attentions of other men in view of marring -, having remained single up to the present time. About (hildrcn. l>r. t). W. Holme*, iu the February A tin* tic, thus dianmraes about children : The Old Master, who ia a bachelor, has a kindly foiling for this little monkey, and those of his kind. •' I like children," he said to me one day at table. " I like 'em, and 1 respect 'em. l'rotiy much all the honest tmth telling there is in the world is done by them. I>o you know they play the pari in tbe household which the king's jester, wno very often had n mighty loug lesd under hi* cap and bells, used to play for a monarch ? Thorn's no radical club like a nest of little folks in a nursery. Did vou ever watch a baby's finger* ? I have, often enough, though T never knew what it was to own one." The master paused half a minute or so. sigh ed—perhaps at thinking what he had missed in fife, —looking up at me n little vacantly. 1 saw what was the matter ; he had lost the thread of his talk. " Baby's II ager*," I interpolated. " Yea. yea ; did you ever see how tlioy will poke those wonderful little fingers of theirs into pvery fold and crock and crevice they can get at ? That is flu ir first education, finding their wax into the aolid facta of the material world. When they begiu to talk, it is the same thing over and over again in another shape. If there is a crack or n flaw in your an swer to their confounded shoulder-hit ting questions, they wiil poke and poke until they have got it gaping, just as the baby's fingers have made a rent out of that ntom of a hole in liia pinafore that your old eyes never took notice of. Then iliev make such fools of us by copying on a small scale what we do in the grand manner. THE PAKTMDOK.— At a meeting of hor ticulturist* in Illinois string ground was taken against the destruction <>f tln-ae birds. To show how useful this bird is it H stated tlmt n flock of partridges were wen running along tho rows of corn just sprouting, nnd seeing them engaged m something which was believed to !<• pulling up the young plants, one of them was killed and its "crop" exam ined, which was found to contain one cutworm, twenty-one stri]ed hugs, and over one hundred chinch bugs. Another member related that he had adopted measure* to protect the bird, and that they had become so numerous and so tame that hundreds of them, after snow falls, conld be seen in his barnyard with the fowls where they were fed. As s remit of their presence upon his prem ises his wheat crops were unusually abundant, while in many other places not far off the chinch bug and other insects had destroyed half the crop. WHAT BRIOHAM HAIO. —The Mormons tell ft good story of Brigham Young. Among the np|licants for the special priv ilege of taking a second wife, there came, one day, a brother of unusually doubtful character, a drunkard anil a rascal gener ally, when something like tho following dialogue ensued : "Bo you want another wife, do you t" 14 Yes, it you please, Broth er Brigham." " Well, the short of the matter is, that you enn't have one." 44 Why can't 1 have one as well as the oth er snintst" 44 So you want to know the whole story, do yon ?" 44 Yes ; 1 should TTko to know why I can't have more than one wife, as well as the rest of 'em." 44 Well, you shall know, then, in nhort or der. I want your race to die out." WANTS HIS SAI.AU Y REDUCED. —The Mayor of Salem, Mass., gets sixteen, hundred dollars a year for his services, which he contends is too much, and he has applied to the Common Council to have it reduced to eight hundred. What can Hotter lie, llif ehilil stui the "Id ttinn ul slime lu the qua I peaceful shade i)f the "id green l ii;h iksl hsd rlcliljr grown In the lit <>ti, thick foroal glade. It was * soli suit uU-sssul s<-, I'he lrrMive countenaoce, ami had resolutely dctermin.-d to cbvine the cause. •• You are ill f " said our hero one eve ning, after tbey had supped at tbe hos telry limit inentMtnd. and wrcir quifh.ig vasiciis •• w hfaskey* hot " to promote di gest ion. Mr. O'lxxry sighed, shook hi* head sadly, aud cmpti.d hi* byway of replv. •• Your supper ha* disagreed with vou— you have eaten too much," continued Mr. Whiffles, tender! v. '•lt isn't the supper t hat worrie* me," oh.rrvcd ins rompanion; ''it's the substi tute." This mysterious answer pouted Mr. Whiffle*. He thought it over seriously, then gave it up in dropatr, snd demanded sn explanation. Mr. o'l-earv vigorously putt-. ! at hi* cigar, and then proceeded to enlighten Mr. Win flics. It spjK-arvd frotu Mr. O'Leanr's account that it * customary in the Royal IMI Theatre (or the management to allow va rioo* members of the orchestra to a'went them-dves from time to time from their posts in order to attend roneerta or other entertainments, on the condition that they provided clficteut substitutes to fulfil tteir ordinary duties. A* a rule, throe substi tute* were not hard to find; but Mr. O'fx-arv confessed, with tears In hia eyes, that although he hail searched high and low, for some unaccountable reason be could find no one able or willing to supply hi* place at the theatre while he was absent to fulfil a most jrofitable en gagement hi had accepted to play at a fashionable West Find concert the ensiling evening. Without a moment's hesitation Mr. Whiffles threw himself into the breach and proffered hi* services. • Stuff!" replied Mr. O'Lcarv, "what do yoa know about music ? " Mr. Whiffle* couldn't tell. 110 was quite certain about what be didn't know, but that he refrained from mentioning. There was a painful pause. Mr. O'Leary stuoked aileutly on for some Mine, now and then darting a searching glance upon tbe anxious face of Mr. Whiffles, a h he were revolritig some gnat scheme in the innermost recesses of his own mind, but a* yet scarcely saw the manner in which it could lc carried out. Suddenly—" 1 have it. Thanks, Whiffles, *ny boy. I accept your generous offer. You shall be ray substitute." said Mr. ()'ltcked Utttrlf up and found honself upun the .lage. ll* had hardly time to r*l a hurried glance upon the nut el, not to aay dreary objects by which he was eurrotiudcd, when an elderly indit idual, in awhile Lean!, ami wb use , shirt-front appeared to be plentilully be sprinkled with anuf!, beckoned the boy. " Tom." aaid be, " go to the music-room sod ak Mr. levajoy for uiy copy of -UJd King Cols.'" The boy at once complied. Rightly conjecturing that the music-room was the place wherein the musician* assembled previous to making their appeal anee in the orchestra, Mr. Whi flies billowed the hoy down a score or ao of rickety stairs, to the great detriment ol he* shin*, into a wantily furnished *| ailment, situated immediately beneath the stage, wherein he found reran! gentlemen rumnuaedly tuuing t heir iuetiuiuml*. Uiaai heaimg Mr. Ixvejuy, the leader, addressed by name, Mr. Whiflb• neivously introduced himself a* Mr. OTycarv'* substitute. '• Very good," said Mr. l/irejoy, "be 1 * told you cvcrvthing, I up|sise 1 Mr. WBIM UJVCBI UTRBTNTJILR, and darted a pw.-rcum.it lane* iotu even corntr of tin? apaiitnrut, in search of lii other Ironiuor. Horror! Ht *#'( ikrrt! The man upon whom k* toMy absent! IT hat u to tie done 1 K*trr*t was out of the question ; as, while be was roiitt-iu plating tits lit, a suiail LM.II sounded, aud the musician* proceeded to take their place* tu tlie orchestra. Mr. Whiffles, still beating the fatal trombone, despair ingly tollotted, and, err long, found him self in tbe presence of the Brit nth public. The novelty of bia situation so mufuwd I him that be, for a moment. M-ateJ hitmell in tbe chair U-longing to Mr. lowjuf, and it received with a prodigious outburst of enthusiasm, the audience up|<*ing him to be the talented Leader bitnaell. Thr* mistake waa aooo rectified by tbe appear we* of the veritableleader, who muttered something under lit* breath by no mean* complimentary to our hero, and motioned him angrilv to the aeat usually occupied by Mr. O'fcary. Tbe aadVuee, peroeh ing the mistake, exptr**ad tbcjr opinion u! Mr. Whiffle* in candid and uunrotakabte term* aa be ruefully made bis way to tbe i spot indicated by the conductor. Alter trying to reduce*to something like order ! the aheet* of music on the *tand befbrv him. Mr. Whiffles gained sufficient com age |to look around him. Tbe bouse ana packed from Boor to ceiliug—every body waa on tbe ti|>toe of expectation, and sun dry anxious voice* appertaining to iropa tienl "god*" implored tbe musicians to strike up at once, and api*-a*- their auxirty. Again the small bell tinkled Mr. Love joy tapped lib drok—raised his baton— looked on each aide of him, and—slopped. He whispered to tbe First Fiddle, and then left Ins seal and the orehr-tra. Mr. Whiffle* asked Li# next neigh I r what tb might |*>rteud, aid was informed in reply, that i'ufller, the other TromlKine, hadn't a* vet put in an appearance '•t'ouldn't ther do without bun T " asked Mr. Whiffle -devoutly hoping in hw heart of hearts thev couldn't. "Certainly not," wa the reply " Wouldu't tin* big drum do as well ?" inquired Mr. Whlfflov Hi* neighbor icgarded him with sonic surprise, smiled, and continued: "I>o without him! how can the*?! Don't you know that you and he begin the { moment the cur tain rises, to bring on m right to left— j then from left to right, ami finally comes j down lett upon the stage, where be ex- J pressr* a variety of emotions in panto mime, and all to your music. 1 " At thine wotds, Mr. Whiffles resigned all hope, and was mentally calculating the | dangers to which he would be exposed il , he leaped into the stall*, from thence to the pit, and (might his way on out of the theatre; when the leader returned, an' ominous frown upon bis brow, followed by > a short, fat. pile faced gentleman, apmr-1 enlly of foreign extraction, who carried a trombone under his lett ana. Joy! Mr. j Whiffles felt a man again. This, then,: wa* Puffier! Mr. Whi tiles remembered h instructions, and wattdied the new-! comer attentively, who, upon hi* part, ap pcxred to r gard him with the uttermost concern. Mr. Whiffle# had occasion to j shift his tmtnbone—Pufflor did likewise.! i Mr. Whiffles felt for his handkerchiel—Mr. j Pofflcr followed his example. All thaw j •evnicd very mysterious.,and Mr. Whiffle* was lost In wonderment when the overture commenced. Luckily, the trombones were i not wanted until the commencement of the drama. The overture c®a*ed. " Now, look out," observed Mr. Whif fles* neighbor—"it's vou now." Mr. Whiffles mechanically raised the instrument u< his hps, keeping a steadlast paxe the while upon the proceeding* of Mr. I'nffler, who did hi* best to stare Mr. Whifflcr out of countenance. Mr. Love joy looker! round, and seeing the trombomw lierfectly taady, awaited the rising of the curtain. It was an agonising moment. The silence was positively painful. veioV tap ped his desk, and the curtain slowly rose —in ro/rwit rilmet! Mr. Lorrjoy began beating the time slowly, and had even ac complished a lew stroki* liclorc he realitcd the fact. Turning round to ascertain the meaning ol this extraordinary circum stance, his surprise and bewilderment may well be imagined at peirciviug the two trombone-playees hard at work, dis tending their cheeks to their utmost ca pacity, nervously manipulating their in stnimenta, and producing not a sound ! And the mot unaccountable thing was thev never took their eyes off one anoth er. Mr. Lovcjoy was transfixed with •'This is very sraangc," thought Mr. Whiffles,* 1 ' I wonder when that fellow is going to begin !" The little bell tinkled again and again. Mr. Russet stepped npion the stage with some amount of dignity, and left it without any, under the impression that he was a trifle too soon. The stage manager, a gentleman of excitable temperament, and much addicted to the use of psssionstei language, who played one of the priucipal parts in the piece, rushed from bi room, discharged on the spot an inoffensive "super"' who, unfortunately, happened to cross his path at the time-went, half-a doaen at a time, down the score ot a rick ety stairs, at the imminent hazard of breaking his neck, and, apjtesring at the little door under the stage that led into the orchestra, demanded in unmeasured terms what the—very had word—Mr. lxivejov meant by such conduct, and why the—excessively rude observation—he didn't go on? Mr. I.ovcjoy was too as tounded too make a reply, lie could only point in silent wonder to the two Trom bone*. There they sat pulling and blow ing rigorously, hut with no result. The stage-manager gesticulated violently and nearly had a tit. The audience, unable to comprehend what was going on before their eyes, hissed loudly ; and, Anally, the curtain fell. Then, Mr. Lovejoy gave vent to his feelings. lie leaped Imm his seat and rushed towards Mr. Whiffles, who, pointing with exhaustion after his unac customed exertions, was wiping the per spiration from bis (ace, wondering what on earth was going to happen next. No sooner, however, did he see the angry Cotiilurlur uiondiv toward* him ttia, wilb mi Uituitivu that wof j iking uuplt-AMotl uh lmt to occur, to mwlv a precipitate rub through the Utile door uuJer tbc *tga, hotly pursued by Mr. Dwreloy, wbor.ppt.'tundr mneiujrm* [the foreign gentleman kjug > sway, nad Ml upon bin tooth and Bail flte ILK man (rruiletnau, Iwtni eliolciic, , kitockwl Mr. down. Mr. I/>v*fo), Itring by uo tarsus 'irli. iitit in, pluck, re* Kaiitod the ix-rpmditulsr, and in the lan guage id the Ilinic -let the foreign pro tl. tuan'• have It." Tbat Individual nest .cited the astonished Wtuflto sod en ■lwurfd to drag bin before Mr. Itek>r, lin <>idtr tbat be aught undergo condign punishment, when the hedge •lipped ; tbrjr both Ml, and two trom j boui-playn*' qivateriotedy dtvajijieered. Tht-y uad fallen down an unused well under tbe stage, Mr. Whiffles uuderanai. There being but little water-they uuc wxm extricated, and, furtunstely, im buttra were broken. Tbe tteu gentlemen, after a very excited interview with tbe sts-ixinsnsger, were shortly afterwards permitted to depart. Mr. O'leary, next clay, was duly in fortned of tbc dwaster, and leat l •titute, like .Mr. Wbifito. utterly unable to play, mud to wbuta be gave, in effect, instruction* alipoit identical with those gii.u by Mr. o'Lonry to our hero. Mr. tViiflSea returned to the home of hie ancestors a aadder and a wiser man.' He haa never been In a theatre since, 1 and invar think* without a ahodder f hia terrible advrnuate eonneclcd with tbe Two Trombones. Aormal Sehaol KMrriwt. Iu the Richmond Konaal acbool a (cw day* ago, the lesson a elocution was tipou " Articulation," and varuma es utupluw of difficult tnunriutiuu ew cited aud practised, At the ch*e u/ the excr* ciae, the principal called far wh exnui -1)w to I* handed in a tbepupila might ;gov or le aide to find. The fußnving nre anrue of tlie remits of the inrewtigw tion. and ftrrmxh a rorr good collaetioO utc*i ho sat*. lie t!>rat* hi. fingrn apainat the ft at. And *tiil tnai*ia be wen the ghost*."* " Of all the Ml I ever *w saw, I*ed >t MW a raw u as thia saw saw*." " Up the hill ha hoavta a huge round stone." , • Cirri" Oraycroft caught a crate qf crick* led erol'; a crate of crleklad oralis crazy | C'raycoft caught If erase CYayeon 1 < aught a crate of trickled crab*; Where's the crate of ctriekled eraha eraiy Oray coft caught f i "Thou wroalii'd'at and laujudd'st the far*fteh'd us, and imprison >Ut him in the vulcanic Mcxigau mountain of P-o-p o-cat-a-peil in Co to-pas l"" •' Paler Pipe* rucked a peek of pickled pepjtar*; a poA of psekled peppers K-ter Piper picked. If P*er Piper picked a pack of uirkled pepperr, wberC*j the peck of |a must luiro lieou gobbled up at Denver.'" So it would go; Whenever stock was lost the owner eon Id ascertain at once in what direction to look for it, thereby faring a great deal of trouble, expense and vexation of spirit A word in regard to the salary of the herder-iu-chtef. His recompense should be ample. "No one to love; none to caress, is, to draw it mild, rather—sbrue what—iu ftfk well—" Vrsi know how 'tis you rself.'' — If rgtrrn Paper. Tun COST. —We have heard it stated, says a New York pa]w>r, that a much larger sum is spent daily In New York for liqnpr Wiuuqr bmsL but the offieial returns nre not ht hand to verify the statement. But we do know, from daily observation, that druukennosa is alarm ingly on the increase, and that moder ate driuking is becoming almost as com mon as iu the early days of this nation, before the custom was for a time over come by the temperance movement It l>ehooves the people to do something, ami that quickly, to stay the tide which j threatens to overwhelm the land. The five lovers.of s Springfield (Mass.) girl, each of whom she hod taught to think was the favored one, discovering that their love was u joint stock concern, recently met at the house of the fair one, and with one accord dropping on their knees, offered her their hearts and hands. The tableau was an efleotive fine, but the young lady refused them one aud all. EIGHT thonsind Spanish SOLDIERS H^RE sailed from Cadis for Cuba. TKRMBTwo Dollars a Year, in Advance. NO. 8. Kit IVrkina sa B Parmer. Here w Artomu* Ward's letb*. where be tella what lie kaowa about farming, wad refer* to the faithful labors of Ell Perkins. uld have been aeM* to Bostoo thai night, had they not rather suddenly died that slUwaooo of a throal dieteauper. It wasn't a aweding of the 'diroat It waant diphtheria. It wae a 1 violent opening of the throat, extending from car to nr. I Thua rinsed their ttfe-atorfea. This ended their interesting tails. I failed aa a raises of lamia. A# a i sheapiat, I waa not a sueooaa. I Last .Summer Air Perkinaaaid, "f tbink' ! we'd hotter cot some gxaaa this aaaaon, i SIT- „ : , | J We cut some graaa. ' To me the new mown hay la rrryavrcst :iod nioe. New mown hoyia a realty fiot., thing. It 1$ good for mmu and beast {• ■ We hired fosir boned iarmcrsto aniust 1 IMS sad I kd liusa ga4r to meadow*. i I was going to mow, myself. I Haw tbe sturdy peasants go round thia white-haired old peasant's profan i iter. It was true that I had twice csrap !cd mowing off has son's legs, aod hia father ana perhaps naturally alarmed. I woot and sat down under a tree. *T : never know ! d a literary mania my life." I overheard the okl tnaa say, " that 1 know'd snrthiag.** .} Mr. IVikiny n not as valuable to me, i tlris season a* I had fancied he might be Every afternoon he disappeared from t the field regularly, and remained about i some two lioura lie aaid it was head- j ache. Me inherited it from hi* mother. Hia mother was often taken in that wag, and suffered b great deal .1 At the end of lbs two hours Mr. Per j i kins would rrnpiiear with his hcadmest i ly dowe up ia a large wet rag, aod gay hs f better." I i One afternoon it no happened that f i soon followed the invalid to the hcasse, , and as I neaped the porch I heand a lt> male voice energetically oliaervn. " You stop r It was the vol.re of the hired trirl, and she added. *TU holler fat Mr. Brown V ' . , "Oil no. Nancv," I hoard the invalid E. Perkins soothingly say, ** Mr. Brown knows I lore you. Mr. B. >wu approves at iL " This was pleasant for Mr. Brown f I pecfeed cautiously through the kitck <>n-blinds. and, however unnatural it may appear, the tip* of Eli Perkins and my hired girt" were very near together." Hkaeaul. ' Yo shan't do so." and h db-wwa. She .also said she wowld get ] right up and go .way. and as an evi dence t'uat she was thoroughly in earnest 1 atiout it, she remained where she was. They aie married now. and Mr. Per kins is troubled no more with the head •ehet This year we are planting corn. Mr. Prckins writes me teal " on accounts of no akare krows liein prtt up kfowa 1 esim and digged hist crop up lust MOII i got author in. OUI llisbee who was j Frade youd cut his sons leggs of Hes you : bet go and stan up in feeld yraelf with j draw in gowad oa k gesaea krows will j keep way, this made lloys in store Wf,; no More tcnlay from Yours respecful "Eu Pttuxa" P. S.— Eli ha* dbtie twtter since Tie gbt 1 married. •"> J" * "*■*( ABWCMCS WAKP. A Body Heard. The assaults and murders by rowdies i iu New York are the sabject of burlesque, j as well ns horror. One man says The other night be had occasion to go half a block to gat two coats worth of milk... Ho has some influence, so Us ordered out a guard, and proceeded in the lob lowing order: > J Band. , j Company ofCavalry. Company of Artillery. . Cannon. Cannon. Friend with rotlk pitcher. Cannon. Cannon. Band. Company of Infantry. Bear. ■ It does seem thnt in a civilized, well regnlatod community, these precaution ary measures would nave been sufficient to prevent highway robbtry, but the man suys that he was attacked, knocked down, the pitcher broken, and the two centa token from him, and no arrests were made ; and this too, at 8 o'clock in the morning. 1 THK heira of John Slld6ll have brought suit to recover real estate in New Orleans confiscated during the war, a herd of nina ttt ttst huki tearinino; and breaking iuto farm Work. Tight Jaring caused s Isdy of Cosdflk .la. N. Y., to biut a I'lodf ieuewl two dsya aftot her mmikifk " A gootleinun in Kentucky was recent ly kiUod in a rtayfut senile for the sharp fvoint m il' sd pewit psmcieuting his aknll At a trial in Wliheshsm the other day it was testified that * win of coal one foot ia mmm win yMil owe thoumnd tons to the save. • The ahtpMimndsabuss towubed at New Oriewn* latoly. ha is laden with wine, |to ripen .wtoah aha i to cruise is the i tropica for a year.* A dtmpfxrioted Danhury Wf.it is ■aid, atteeaptod toahoot henwell and vu , saved by a providentiai oocmrrence. The pistol wa not loaded. Hamst*blo County, ' Maas., received tl.iffS lor dog liaensw last year, and paid owl fmr.demsfff done |441 to ba returned to tab towns. Forty ytgrs ago nearly the whole of Ohks waa a uvaae forest ; now a raaolu ticul* mtmm b the Ohio Legiala atom to eaoottagu th>* enltiration of > m ■ 1 n .y. The sheriff broke up* baptism mi the fbttaka of the Ohio, at &, eeyiag that Out water waa too cold, and that if tbe minister persisted be would prosecute hhn for T!i*rrd--r : An (WgiiMto rim over a man at Manre * eilla. fudtana. and the Jury, instead of s betogiog' in 'the Mmveoteoaei verdict of " nobody to bteme." hm actually found , him guiuy of manrisufhtev I Htoee Üb* December report of the Ag rieulturul Department no information . has be* received to ehs.ifc the esti mate of the cotton crop, which waa at thai time given aa 8,t00,000 baton. The family of Mr. J. M. liiß, of ttote ' too, At . were taken aflaoWt the asm* tuna, which proved to } the rwik of oor.oMoned liy the tun of water ' running thmoah a toad pipe recently 'laid down. Ml >mM< poaaeoeed stxty-three. i HaJli'flf. Cto nuNtor, wto M executed ■<'. k last spring, had fifty-nine oiinoes of brain 0 * "Moines, lowa 'has a youthful Stm iss B ot tvmnter yeuiu, who ahoaldet* an icog Mil feetkmg.*fid walks off a* thoogli it waa a pine pole, and will •rtrito iuf irxA rod flnMßghto of aa inch io diameter and two tot iouz nm his 1,871' *• * M a werv sanaalionri leokmg story in |on* of the morning napen ia true some of the danghu-rs in New Brunswick. K. J., have** very peculiar war of exhibit ing thesv filial devobom. According lo (ttoe.etery two dwghtem got their sire I intoxicated wtffi rum and moisewa and then aatentled hi* room with kerosene and set it on fins. *fj| I The tar*4ablof Ue new' Aw* Uaad bridge weighs one hnadra d end fifty tone. It h supposed to to the most i massive piece of maehiirary of its kind iia tho world. It is certain that nothing in the Tine in this country approechcs it. The principal circle. r>unpMed of six segments weighing six ton* each, and the base circle, are in their places. " Cartaix Bcort."-4.t is said of that. famous bnliter. Captain Scott, that when to sighted s ooon in a two sfid was re oognißoi by the ♦•erittar," -the saga cious coon,, knowing that it was all up with bits, would call out; "If that a vewt. Captain Scott, don't lire, for Fli came down. " The famous pevuon allnd kd to was a* ofltoar in the nefnlar srmy, who mac from the ranks —toying toe® WAT at ltli He was wi illiterate, and oould aot writ* biu own name. bet he could make hi* murk withe lino or com mon smoath-bore, flint loci: musket of i the olden time*. ManyauacdW** were told of him in the old army, .where he #M universal favorite with the officer* end men. He h*d for great many . rn before the Mexican tear been cap : tain in the Fifth Infantry, and hi* eom -1 pane -were noted a* good ■oilmen. It WM theboeat of kit men that itheir old , captain could girk np % nd*t at any time and oflTli&utl put a balK ts in m ball Wye, oteffiafter the other, a* fast ,as he cooU load anil Are. Mh| own sol diem, who idolised him. got up the story 1 abort the coon; which i correctly told ; show. This bnire officer was killed in the battle of Molina del Key. A XoVsx I* OKK CHATTE*.— One day there was a great feast In a grfat house. A wealth* young men kaat w giving a dinner-party ©*• winter eventog. The guests had just entered the dining-room, *rhb soddcnlr a carriage drotw up to the door, and the portals once mem opened ad a reverberating knock. A tall, ele gant girl presently entered the dming room. Perhaps if nffie had been able to , glance carefully at the faces of some of those who were assembled, she would have seen some slight marks of surprise. , Nona was expressed ; dm ws< greeted with fayor by the lady who did the hon brs of the hohse, and had a seat next the < host. Etw body was charmed with th# beauty and grace of the fair apparetion. The dinner was hardly finished when • the visitant discovered that she had made a mistake. She had come to the wrong house. Tim right dUiner-party was the vnqr door. Ike young merchant had already fallen in love with 1 his gnest, and he wooed and whn her. I tun not quite certain about thngletails of the story —how site was alone and without any friends but, for all that, the atory is | true, and I trust I may be excused the telling of it . _ I A HAJTT Co*irasrrr.—Hear the towns of Washington and Palermo, ro Maine, 1 is* tooot ot land, AXI by 454 rods, known as (lore, containing some ; fifteen farm-bousesT whose inhabitants i belonging to no town or plantation, pay j no Uses and cannot vote, flpd during ; the war were not annoyed by, the draft. The origin of this happy lam! wad that when the town line of Washington was run out several poor families there, and the town authorities left itout, fear ing that they might-add to theflyianperß, 1 Palermo has never claimed it,sd it ha* since Ixwome quite * settlero. afr and re mains in perfect independence; —.— SINGLTAB AOCIPKKT —by accident a number of persons seri ously injured— some of them, iWs feared, fatally—at Eagle Station, on the Louis ville (Short Line Baiiroad. Just as the train was entering the depot tip coup lings broke and several of thee&w swept scross the platform, mowing