3
' jibri: 5
Li4 werklv at
- -W-l
,. MBl"'""
BlK4i, C AMBRIA 0 PES.1A.,
.. i illtS H. HAS-U-,
p "
-J lireulatlon, - -
,n,,,,0,, Ka,M-
. ... .-u-ii ma'lvani-e fl.W
v( t. l v. t ,,B1u within 3 uiuntns. 1. .5
il'l 1 i . t. n t tit. n ha I.I
iK
li uul i ta within Uie year.. 2 '25
. re'Usnu ouwltle or iba countj
-Tot'.'fai'. er year will be charge.! lo
r ,vnl wl" mnoTO icruiB I'D iu-
13 - . hose WHO OOU I ouuauo. won
J ."r cvln m a-lvanee mtn-i not e
b"1'1 , ,M distinctly understood rroc
,'"'r, ..ii.er tclor yea rtop It. If ctoij
Ki, ,v. i - scl:iwans lo cicwwibo.-
tA HAND SAW IS A GOOD THING, BUT NOT TO
SHAVF: WITH "
12 THE PROPER THING
lnPEED
IHSTAYirf8
OUALITI
IN BEAUT1
IH EVER
REQUISITE oPIB'f S
C0fi5rRUCTI0 nm
M7 WJIfrrnry f &tj1?s
ffi
THE WHITE 5WmO!ACffm &,
rr evptams
WAA. fA.A.Aa
A Great Jylasazanc
fl!'! -
3
FOR
I
?
'I'KM' if: f l M . AIN i'..""
!i - I I r. 1 : A 1 ; . " .M
H I'Kl i i:i.-- i :;.un.
IKVnKK-T V.!..ZiNK" i-i tiy f ir tli-
' '' li-! in v I'U-li Tji- :i'a iitilii i ami t Iih iiefui, plfaiirt and profit.
' Jl',: ;.:-t .it'ir.- .iri- s,, f u I i prcsi'Mi-.l a- in 1 ).-iii.ri'Si's. 'rhi-ri- is, ni fact, mi
' : r.-'.-n. i, :i similar sroi ami (mrposi- whii-fi ran compare Willi it.
fc-rv i,!;!i.:-r i-n.'.i,ti a fr-H pat trn con pun.
!" K s !.i j; V " i- i m ,m ,lv iiia.i.itn;
' ' ': : r ' ' ' u ;! 'A it aiid liiim.ir.
i NN I'll i! Kl' an iiht-r l.iimi.n.iis
A !,r' '! 'u -I'iiifs are tiaiiilsiiineiy utien up. You should not miss
- i arn l.i i ti..,i.
1 .: I,. ii- a:nl return Conp iti properly t i I i . - I out.
lnumrst hihl, sin,,, J Co., J II)
f'jv.i-fi.. i ,., mmI sen. I
-.. i '. : t in . ai:d I't s v l'l
'i.Vf ,,fti,
FARMERS!
Iluvino msulo some extensive im
roveiiirnts in the
OLD SHENKLE MILL
fir
Die tuny pi'etareI to turn out
HtST.ci.ASS WOKK on Short
B
"i't SnVuUUur si
nuijiiro, I renniiii
s
PROPRIETOR.
'""Jjri .s, t.j aad 2,an( cutalo&ie.
Contl. AItt ay
. . ,
I U p p j. i a ine p-ickct citiicr wonuernii irancn .
1 nL bUllJt ( i"? Astor, Kcw Japan Morning A U n
arJ Y nr r-v I loryor I'ansy CSioitc mixed for I .If ,
U'J IjU. LljOlCe I Two pa k-lS a.",.-., three packets SOc KuU A U V
rituil juice 45 cts.
Vick's Illustrated Monthly Magazine vliidi tells
lo cn.w l'Lints, Flowers ami Wgetahk-s, an.l is U
1 ' 'i-.Te these sulijecfs, for 3 months, the Guide and
One packet of Seeds ( n imcfl alcove) fr 25 cents.
Porscn cSdin cn Order as acova will receive a
Coupca gcod for 50 cents' worth of Seeds.
VU or,,.,
ring sute wlirrr yoa raw this iuIt. and we will send a parke of
4'koia-e I'lanrrN.-rd. Irce.
JAMES VICK'S SONS,
JAS. C. HASSON, Editor and
VOLUME XXXI.
FOR HOUSE-CLEANING.
nwn p
S d m
3
FOR
Wt- -inl thrtv t vmi for one
yt - ar iur ih .r t; nm. f,r ?!.
lt family maau.iiiM publish. J ; tlu-r.' is
of fun. litlc.l wit li illustrai iiins in r:iri-
lis (miriliiiliii's arir the Im-sI of A in.-rii an
mniitlilv: tlnr is a luu-'li in everv line of
r,jU, . ccutr, .Yer 'ork.
humiM -r's Kamii.v M aihzik,.Ii ih.k's
I r i:ks fur one year as pi-i ) our utter.
SI'itr
porfion of your
Contains all that's JTew and
Iteliahle.
. . m . v.
ROCHESTER, N. Y.
jyTHE KING OFWHElftf
it
LUDWO,
Proprietor.
VIBRATION
The student declares that all sound is hut
motion,
Hut certain vibrations that strike on the
ear.
The voice of the song bird, the roar of the
ocean.
The whisp'rinfrs of love or the shriekinps
of foar.
And so the lypanum's a telephone only.
To carry the news to the imprisoned
"me."
That dwells in the flesh, often weary and
lonely.
And MiRhs for the Joys and the rest of
the free.
The thinker, relentless in his meditation
lvdarcs that the objects we seem to be
hold Are revealed to us only tecause of vibra
tion. In all of their forms and their hues mani
fold And so then my eyes are but lenses reveal
ing The pictures upon theni to me in my jail.
As 1 stand ut the bars, in my darkness ap
pealing Kor a glimpse of the freedom b-or.d the
flesh Veil.
We liyhl up our cities or talk with each
other,
Thouph distance and ocean jerhance
intervene;
The earth has -.-rown smaller, each man is
our brother
Ami Time Ii,-s defeated into the unseen.
And yet 'tis corrosion, or some rent ration
or force that is swift, as the lichiii'UK's
sharp Klare,
We've rtt.-a.sed in the form of a rapid
vibration
To Maze In our lamps or to leap through
the air.
And the thought that conforms to each
bi-in and station
Rut liiiils in the I. rain an cleetrl.- machine,
With its wires responding to every vibra-
t ion,
lie it holy and wise, bo it base and un
clean. And the "me" who is thinkiiiK who starts
the commotion.
Is formless and viewless to poor mortal
eyes.
Though ail of my being Is thrilled with de
vot ion.
And radiant with Hsht from the throne
in the skies.
And the thinker exploring the realm of
causation
Kinds (hint's we call solid are dead and
inert.
That l:l- is expressed through the mc.ns
of vibration.
The forceful, the viewless alone is at
work.
Perhaps e'en to "me" is a thought of the
Master
Vibrating forever a thrill from His love
Who rules oer all, without fear or dis
aster. The viewless Infinite urnun.l and above.
K. i:. I'arker. in lioston I'.udt'et.
WITH ONE STOXK.
Scene I A prettily-api"jinted t!r.-ssinr-room,
cosily lighted ! shaded lanis. Two
Kirls, in white muslin peignoirs, ccharifr
intr confidences uvi-r the mysteries of the
eveiiin;; tuilet-tablc
Time U.t) p. m.
M in tiie l in an i in lir riant voitf. t urninp
Troiu t he mirror, bru.sli in hand I Thci e.
ie:nl that! (She throws a ratiicr
crunipietl Ict.ter into ficr fricml's lap. I
Ti rut's what he thoiiriit tit tt sclul me
ill ler f he dunce!
Lilian ( ctuii fi rt:ili V ext'iuleil in the
ilcpt lis of a liijr easy chair) Yoii'vi- not
trcateil his missive with much respect,
dear! ( I.Vails it.) And I th.n't think it
deserve?, any. l'rayf why shouldn't you
dance- with Tom Wentworth?
Minnie ( brushing vigorously ) Tln
fact is. I'm pt'ttinir tir-l of Cere's ab
surd jcaloiisK-s. If lie were a little less
ifood looking-
Lilian (sotto voce I And hadn't such
;i nice little income?
Minnie Well, his income isn't any
thing against him. Is it? ?ut what
should you tlo?
Lilian (very solemnly) - lie deserves
a l:nl punishino-.
.Minnie--Of course, lie's very fond of
me; mill with his "K-n-sitiveiKss," as
he culls it T cull it touchiness he sjiy
he can't bear it. I'ut I always did like
dancing with Tom; ami he's my cousin,
you know, after all.
Lilian (pensively, with a smile as of
certain ileasinr memories) 1 like danc
ing with Tom Weut worth (a siififnt-t-ive
iaie) and I think he likes dancing
w it h me.
Minnie (with a loii.r-draw n intona-tiiOi-h
h?
Lilian- Kxaetly so. (UeHects a
little.) I've :m inspiration, dear! lKics
Cecil know I've come up to jrr to the
garden party, to-morrow?
Minnit No. Why?
Lilian (quickly, without exp!uininr)
We're just t he same height, and your
hair's exactly the color of mine, and
(after a moment's delilerat ion ) yes
that lowly pale green you -showed me
this afternoon would suit me uncom
monly well
Minnie I'ut you're not going1 to ear
it. you see!
Lilran - Oh, I think I am going to
wear it! ( Knergetically draws another
easy chair cIo- to her own, seats her
friend decisively in it, ami impressive
ly details to her a plan of the war.)
Scene 11 The smoking lounge of the Em
pire theater. Hon. Cecil Trevelyan, and his
friend, St. Aubyn.
Tim. 10:15 p. m.
St. Aubyn I say. Trev.! Another
brandy! You don't usually go ou like
this. What's up?
(Veil (gloomily, under his dark mus
lache) When the girl you're engaged
to w rites to you in "this style ! (I'ulls
a rather crumpled letter from hiKwaist
ct pocket, and hands it to his friend.)
St. Aubyn (reading it)--ll'm rather
sharp! l!ut you know, Trev.
t'ifil What?
St. Aubyn Well--you are rathei" cr
cr crochety, you know?
Cecil (sardonically) Oh! I'm croch
ety, am I? Would you like your future
wife to flirt with other men?
St. Aubyn Flirt? No. Hut
Cecil l!ut Minnie docs: she did flir4
with that fellow. Her "cousin," in
deed! Confound him!
St. Aubyn Well, I shouldn't want to
lesp her if I were you. She's a very
jolly- little frirl, and aw fully pretty, not
to mention the prospects and they
count, you know, old fellow ! Isut she's
game, and if you pull her in too tipht
you will lose her, that's aiwuit all.
C-cil (furiously) If that d d cousin
of hers Is at this idiotic garden party
to-morrow, and she goes r.n with him
as she did tb" other even inc. she m.iv
go to anywhere, for aught I care! 1
swear I'll throw her over!
St. Aubyn You've said that before,
and had to rejeiit in dust and ashes,
aiul w car sackclot h, and eat humble pie,
and
Cecil This time I mean it! (Calls
for another brandy, which he swallows
s.-t one culp, tosses down the coin, and
e.xiL)
St. Aubyn Poor Cecil!
HK IS A FREEMAN WHOM TBS TRUTH
EBENSBUliG, PA.,
Scene III A secluded walk in a charming
garden in the suburbs. Olimpses of bright
toilets to be seen through the shrubberies;
I'-istant laughter; strains of dances from
Hungarian baud; popping of champagne
corks, etc., etc. Hon. Cecil Trevelyan,
tierce, gloomy and alone, seated out of
sight In an art or near the farther end of
the walk: Lilian and Tom Wcntworlh. en
tering the walk together, slowly, from be
yond the farther end.
Time I :;" p. in.
Lilian (softly, with a momentary
glance round) It's aw fully goodoi you
to walk about out here with uie, with
out wanting to know why I asked you
to tlo it.
Tom I'd walk about, with you, for
hours in the desert of Sahara, if you
want cil me to. ((ietitly insinuates his
hand among the voluminous clouds of
the pale-giecn chiffon sleeve.)
Lilian ( laughing) Thank you; but
I don't .like deserts.
Tom No more do I. Let's have a
rest in this roinaut ic-lookinp al itor.
Lilian No! oh no! Spiders and
things, I expect; (iiiickens her pace)
perhaps it's damp or somct hiiig. There's
a scat a little farther on; we can sit
tilt re, if you like.
Cecil (as they pass the arlior, under
his breath I Then tb;.t. girl was tell
ing the 1 rut ii ! 1- : the fellow ! lie's
taking her arm!
Lilian (seats herself with her back
towards the arbtir) Mr. Wentworth,
I I er 1 want you to make love to
me?
Tom (with alacrity) My darling!
Lilian ( imperatively ) Mush! Don't
(she blushes and looks confused.) I
mean, it's not to lie real, you know.
Tom Oh! but it is very real, I assure
you.
Lilian I want to explain. There's
some one in that urbor
Tom (sitting farther olT, in some
alarm) Confound the person! Who
is it ? Why didn't they Keep away?
Lilian (with the tips of her daintily
gloved fingers ou his hand) No, you
needn't mind (rtops in embarrassment
at Tom's a-stou'ishfd look). Your Cousin
Minnie
Tom - I don't want to talk about my
oiisin Minnie. You don't think I care
for Minnie, tld you?
Lilian (rushing into her subject)
Hut Cecil TreveUan does. And he
made a perfect brute of himself about
vim. when f-'ie danced with vou the
other night - and he doesn't know I'm
her and I've got on Mim ic's tlrtss
I contemplates her skirts w ith satisfac
tion for half a minute).
Tom ( taking advanlacc of the pause)
--It. omrht to be yours, then: you look
too charming!
Lilian - Nonsense! And he's in that
arbor, ami thinks y"in Minnie, and and
so (with a leserate audacity) will
you
Tom (beginning to understand, tak
ing her baud in both of his. ami looking
fondly at her downcast eyes) Twill if
you'll let it stand, darling. Lilian, is
there any reason why it shouldn't lie
real?
Lilian (in a breathless voice, quite
forgetting Cecil in the arbor, and Min
nie, and everyone else) I 'rhaps
f.n
Tom (also forgetting Cecil in the ar
bor. ;-iul Minnie, and everyone else)
Ti 11 me. Is there? ( lie d raws her t o
.. nils him; their lips meet, etc., etc..
ad lib.)
Cecil (who has advanced unnoticed
under cover of this tender passage)
When I've settled your scoundrel of a
cousin. Minnie. I'll trouble you to speak
a few words tonio!
(Tom rises angrily. Cecil catches
sitrht of Lilian's face and is struck
speechless.) Madame.
THE SLIDING POLE,
llnndy i;lnK Itotvn. Hut Stair, t
;tnic 1 .
Firemen use the sliding Kjles in the
engine houses when descending' from
the dormitory floors to the street floor
about their ordinary afFairs. just as
they d. when liu-M ling down for a tile.
It is the quickest and easiest way to
go, and naturallv they go that way
always. To a man not a fireman, how
ever, and so unaccustomed to it, the
commonplace use of the sliding; pole
seems at. first strange, lie has seen il
usually, H-rhaps only, from below ; and
the use of it is associated in his mind
with t he sound of t he gong, t he poll tid
ing of the horses' hoofs, the snapping
tif harness and the general bustle of
preirut ion. To we the liremcii come
droppinir down the. sliding (wiles into
this scene of activity seems all ritfht.
It si-ems like a part of Ihe general
scheme. Hut -if one who has been ac-
ustoinetl only to seeing them come
down the ilcs in this way should hap-
x it at a time, of quiet in the house to
l' tm an upper floor, and instead of
seeing firemen shoot into view should
see me suddenly and silently disaj
pear, that sight probably would at
first In- surprising' to him.
At first it seems strangle to see any
rtian, iircnicn or not, slide down a pole
to start for his dinner, for instance,
but that is what the fireman docs,
and it is jiast the same if he is coing
liclovv for any duty in the. house. He
goes down the pole habit ually, because
th'it is the simplest ami easiest way to
go. Hut he doesn't go back ;hat way;
easy as it is to slide down the pole, it
would be mighty hard work to shin up
it. When the fireman goes up, then,
like ev eryliody else, heclimbs the stairs.
N. Y. Sun.
The llle cl- Knee.
It has Itccn demonstrated recently
that the scrcwctl-up condition of the
countenance known as the "bicycle
face"' is not at all the result of bicyclii.j.'
particularly, but is induced by any vio
lent demand on the muscles. An ar
ticle on the muscular contraction of the
face, published by Ir. A. Foul nicr, ii:
Iji Nat in e, illustrates this fact by j: re
st lit; 9 " a picture of a young loan in the
act oi jumpiiig; a. hurdle. "During t In
jump," the doctor says, "the entire
body leaves the irrountl, aiul for t he tim:
boinc floats through the air like u 10
jectile. The effort of civing- the im
pulse provokes a contraction of th
muscles of tin entire body; the trim!
anil the ext rcmitics of the lody form st
the moment of leaving" the ground bin
one lipid unit. Th picture shows th;
body at that moment, and it iepn.
duces the full effort ami the complt tr
cont ruction. . As the jump was rutin r
high, the violence of the effort is well
accentuated in Ihe jumper's expression,
lie looks as if in great distress end as
if he was about to break into tears."-
MAEKB FREK AND ALL ABB ELATES BESIDE."
FHID AY, APRIL 30, 1897.
ri)I FKOM HAWAII.
Natlve Kanaka Food to Be Tried
in This Country.
A llttBdy Article of Diet That Will
Coine mm u lloon to the lluay
llouacvtlle How It la
Prepared.
A disjiutch from Sail Francisco an
nounces tite ariival at that port of a
consignment of joi for the Chicaco
market. There are 200 bags of stulT
it comes in the form of flour.
This is the first shipment, of i to
the 1'iiited States, though, the name is
familiar to most jierson-j, by reason of
the great volume of misinfumritiou
that has been published about it.
As a mutter of fact, oi is a jiorridge,
made of flour obtained by crinding the
roots of tara, or taro. This latter is a
plant grown in most of the Polynesian
islands, esjieeiully in Hawaii. Its
scientific name is alocasia macrorhi.a,
but that is never w hisered in Hawaii,
being not necessarily for publication,
but merely a guarantee of good faith.
The plant grows to the height of alxut
two ft et in small beds, w hich are so con
structed that they may lie flooded, -js
l ice iields are. The tope are used by the
natives as jot herbs, but the "root, of
the matter," as the Scotch preachers
say, is the portion underground whence
ctMues the oi.
The process of acclimating poi in
America should be watched with inter
est. Tics is the ag-e wtien a good house
wife is expected to erve to her tlys-j-cptic
husband a new cereal for break
fast every uiorninc in- the year, as the
wife of the liedouin Arab was exictetl
to regale her lord and master iu iesjiect
of the date.
To the distracted housiew jfe poi w ill
come as a lioon. True, it is not u cereal,
strictly shaking, lut it is a practical
foundation for "mush," and that isth-e-loaiii
thing. Persons puttering from a
certain class of disorders, including
some dyspeptics, may not toy with oi
liecau.se of its excessive richness in
starch, but in the iuaiu the stuff is harm
less as witness the splendid health of
this Hawaiian -at leust before the mis
sionaries came.
A very pretty sight it was in those
days to observe the pretty Kanaka girls
in primeval grab grinding the tara root
upon a stone as the w ife of the Mexican
peon still grind the corn for her hus
band's refection. At least I am told so.
In my day at Honolulu the native wom
en wore "Mother Hubbards," and were
already civilized to the point of dis
liking housewoik.
Still there was plenty of poi to lie had
and siill is, doubtless. It is served
for breakfast at the Koyal Hawaiian
hotel which hostelry must, of course,
have a new anil republican name by
this time. And there I bad my first
taste of the stuff. It was served after
the cranges delightful oranges of
Ouaho!--and I saw the resident, w hites
flooding their (tortious with cream and
covering it with sugar. They taid they
liked il, but admitted it was an acquired
taste.
I tlid not stay long- enough to a. -quire
the taste. The mush was pinl.ish in
hue -a most unhealthy locking pink
and tiekbh in taste. I was eoaU-m ic
be able to say I had tasted iu TL.
Kanakas may have it for ell td me--but
i lu re is no accounting- for tastes.
Iiter on I bad the foitui - l i t r
cour tv r poi in circi;iii.,tauc. s u.iio'i mm t
nearly an naturel. This was at :i leai ,
or feast piven by his majesty, the laic
Kala-'aua, of unsaintly, 1 ut rr.t ;-.t jovial
memory. This was on the Wad, i-Ii
In-ach, a paradise, where eating is a
profanation, except by the king's ol
der::, anyway.
At this function Ki was served, asoa
the table of the lowliest native, in a jar
of rough w are, and eaten, as the !ow ly
natives cat it with the finger. Notice
not lingers, but firger. The inde
digit of the light hand thrust hit i the
jiink and quivering- mess, bent ::l th:
proper angle, turned about and then
brought forth, with a portion of the oi
adhering to the upper joint, by which
it was thrust into t.he mouth.
Looking back at it the process seems
-well, yes, nasty. Hut at t he tin c. as I
remember, it w:is not so, but, ii deed,
quite the contrary. Tastes change as
well as differ it m:iv be that. N. Y.
Herald.
CYCLING NOVELTIES.
The latest design in bicycle shoes has
a leather extension to cover the pants
h g. w hich is held in place- by -trais and
buckles.
The lates.t merry-go-round ha-s bi
cycle saddles, handle-bars and K-duJs
fastened to a circular frame, the riders
.roiellincr it themselves.
To transform oidinary trousers into
knickerbockers, cuffs are placed inside
the legs, the. l.-ottom of the leg, lcinT
k hied flat inside the cuffs and held in
!aee by strajvs anil buckles.
Pneumatic hubs for bicycle wheels
ore composed of a heavy ruhlcr c:using
surrounding the hub, to which the
sxke hetnLs are fastened, thus making
it spring tire without t-lie danger of
punctures.
A slot bicycle is in use in (llasgovv for
hiring uroses. The cost is a -enny
for every five miles traveled, and if the
wlieelmaii neglects to drop in a eiiny
at the end of each five miles the wheels
refuse to turn.
To strengthen the forks of a bicych
an oscillating spring plug is attaclied.
to the under side of the bottom brace
r.ca.r the head, a steel wire yoke at
tached to the forks slidinc through a
s!ot or groove in the plnf as the front
wheel turns from one side to the other
to steer t he w heel.
Mistaken Identity.
A remarkable case of mistaken iden
tity is reorted from Fecamp. The
Ixxly of a man was found recently in the
Hue tie Yalmont, and after the. usual
fornialit ies was buried as t hat of an oc
togenarian named (iodefrey. Two of
(odefrey's daughters attended the fu
neral. When they returned home they
nearly tlied of terror at finding their
father sitting at his usual place near
the fire. The shrieks of the women,
who thought Ihey saw a chost, brought
in the neighlors. The error was due
to a remarkable likeness between (Sode
frey and the man who had been found
dead. London Tit-Bits.
81. OO and
"RIDE A COCK HORSE."
"Hide a cock-horse to Hanbury Cross "
t.'uaint little curly-head maiden.
Sitting astride of her charger to ride
Cutler tiros with Ihe dreum-apple-i lad-ii!
Hare btile let t and a w hite little gown.
She gallops away into Lullaby Town
"Ulngs on her lingers and bells on li r toes.
She iias music wherever she goes!"
"Ilidtj a cork-hori to Banbury Cross "
Iear little dimple-cheeked rider!
Her charger so free her papa's big knee.
And the Sleepy I'.oy travels beside er;
Over the hills of Lullaby Town,
li.lo tfie vailey of Cuddle-nie-down
"Kings on her hngers and bells on her toes.
She lias music wherever she goes!"
"Hide a cook-horse to Hanbury Cross "
Sweet little dewy-lip sletx?r!
Kor the Sleepy Coy's song a-s they journey
along
Closes each bonny blue peeper;
And the lights have gone out in Lullaby
Town.
And lfs night in the valley of Cuddle-me-down
So she hears not the tinkle of bells on her
toes.
Hut dreamily slumbers wherever she goes!
S. tj. Iaplus, in Ohio Farmer.
A DOMESTIC TUAGEDY.
Persons represented: Miss Hyphen-Smith.
Mr. Paget.
Scene A drawing-room In Miss Smith's
house, near New x ork. In the rix.m on a
stand against the wall is a telephone.
Miss S. (puttipc down her book and
plancing- at clock) Neatly three, and
he said that at three o'clock he would
telephone to me from New York. What
can ! want to say tome? I I thir.k
1 am nearly sure it must be a proMsal.
He has liwn so attentive of late. I
am sure no one can Ih less vain than I
inn. but tliere has liecii a look in his
eye, a tone in his voice, that is quite
unmistakable. (Ixks fondly at tel
ephone.) What a comfort it is to have
a telephone in one's house! I really
don't know how 1 ever existed without
it. if a visitor drops in unexx'ctel
ly to tl -liner, and 1 want a nice liHle
dish of cutlets, I ring up the butcher.
If 1 feel a little low and only a fried
stile can tempt my failing apx.-tite, I
ring up the tis"hmonger. The grocer,
the butcher, the wine merchant, the
livery stables they aie all on the tel
ephone. (Clock strikes.) Ah, there'
the bell! ( Kulu to telephone and
speaks.) "Yes; are you there? Is tfia
you, Capt. YavuBOiir? Yes; are ou
there?" There's no one there, and yd
1 hear some one speakinp in the dis
tance, a faint bu..ilig like a bee in a
bottle. (Kings off ami glances at clock. I
Just three. It was the clock striking-,
and I thought it was the telephone.
(Sits ring at Wll she jiiuis up.)
There it is again! Oh, no: it's t he d.ir
Ixdl this time (goes to window), and
there's Mr. Paget coming in pi-evoking!
I should have said: "Not at
home;" too late now, and he must come
in here; I can't leave the telephone! Not
that I don't like Mr. Facet: I like him
Very much. I might have- preferred
Li ut to Capt. Vavasour; but I have
never seen any tendency iu him to
prt.Mise to me. Hear me. it's verv
avvkvftrd to liave a visitor in the room
when I'm expeetinc a. telephonic pro
jiosal, and I mean, to accept it, at the
top of my voice! (.Knter Mr. Paget.)
Mr. 1". (very nervous and flurried)
How do you do. Miss- Smith? lieg
your pardon. Hyphen-Smith. Kr er
loely day, isn't it?
Miss Smith (shaking- hands with ef
fusion) Glad to see you; here Is your
favorite chair. Let uie put your hat
dow n in its accustomed corner.
Mr. 1. (aside) She is really u most
charming woman. 1 wonder if she'll
be surprised when I ask her to marry
me. It's a little difficult to lead upt .
but I like to get these aw kw artl 1 hings
over quickly. (Aloud, uervtuis) Alu-m
my dear Miss Smith II yphen-Sniit h
I (Telephone lell rings; she rusln--.
t. it). Confound it, what's that.'
what's she doiuc?
Miss S. (at telephone) Yes; arc you
there? What? Is that (apt. Mr.
who? I can't hear; Swak louder.
What? what? Six grots of screws.'
don't keep screws. Who do you want .
No, I'm 4(T.
Mr. P. Impossible!
Miss S. W luit? what? Well, another
time when you want '4 don't rinp up
4i! (Kings off in disgust and sit-s
down.)
Mr. P. My dear Miss Smith, may I
ask what that instrument of torture
is. and why you are shouting at it ?
Miss S. Why, have you never seen
a telephone?
Mr. 1. I suppose I've seen them in
oflices, but I've never met a domes
ticated teleplione (aside) hoe I never
shall again. (Aloud) 1 don't care fvr
these new-fangled things; Fin an old
fashioned fellow. Don't you find it :t
confounded nuisunce?
Miss S. No, indeed! It's the great
est comfort I Hssess. (Clock strikes:
she juinp-s up, then sits.)
Mr. P. Ikm't you find it a little
jumpy? Had for the nerves, eh?
MissS Not in the least; most sootli
inc. M r. P. (nervous) My dear Mi-ssSuiit h
Hyphen-Smith you youw ill In-surprised
to hear what brought, me here
to-day.
MU S. (absently, looking at -telephone)
Cab, I suppose.
Mr. P. You will be surrised to
hear
Miss S. (alsently) Oh, not at all.
Mrs. IV Eh? I had no idea y ou had
gut Hfced my secret.
Miss S. Secret? what secret? Ob.
I leg your pardon, I didn't quite catch
w hat y otXv ere saying. I I was listen
ing' fov the telephone
Mr. I (aside) Confound the tele
phone! Miss S. (aside, glancirjg anxiously at
clock) He raid alxiut three, and now
it's nearly 2 minutes jwst; surely he
must ring me up soon.
Mr. P. Well, as I was going to say
when the telephone interrupted me.
you will hardly have puesscd why I
came her to-day.
Miss S (archly) Wasn't it to sx
me? Mr. P. It was, my dear Miss Smit h.
and
Minn S. (laughing) And t hear the
telephone?
Mr. P. Apparently. Hut as I was go
ing; to say, it was to tell you to ti
(telephone bell rings. Miss S. rushes
to.) Curse the bell!
Miss S. (at telephone) Yes; are you
there? What? is that you? Capt.
Vavasour? What? Fih?" what fish?
I Raid salmon. What? Yes, salmon
cutlets. What? No, I didn't! Inever
postage per tear In advance.
NUMBER 17.
said sausage,,: sa usagvs in Ju ly ! What?
I can't hear. Salmon cutlets S-a-1-m-o-n.
lo you hear? Next time vou
take my orders, please sen.l some on.
who isn't .leaf! (Kiiujs off ami siU
dow n, fuming.)
Mr. P. (dryly) You must find that,
tt lephone a great comfort, I am sure.
No draw ing-rooiu should be w it hout it!
Miss S. It tl.x-cn t aJwavs go like
this.
Mr. P. I hjx; not, for the sake of
your nerves ami our visitors.
Miss S.-Oh. I :uu so sorry; of curse
it must Ik- very prov.iii.g fr Vou 1)UI
it isn't my fault, is it? Now sit down,
and lx-gin again; you were cuing to tell
me something very interesting, I am
sure.
Mr. P. (aside) 111 make one niore at
tempt, but if 1 cau't cet my propyl
out I ic fore that confounded telephone
goes olT again - m wjlt. it U OI1(.t. ali(J
'or all. (Aloud) My dear Miss Smith
Hyphen Smith, 1 am a man of few
words.
Miss R. Indeed? (She listens with
perfunctory attention and every sign
of impatience, her eyes on the tele
phone, half starting from her chair at
e.t ry sound that tan sugcea-t a Ik-11.)
Mr. P. - I don't wear my heart upon
m si -eve. 1 keep it in its rigiit pla.;,?
(Usui. ) though it's iu my mouth at tlJs
iiiomept: (AlouJ) I am, as 1 said lx?
fore, a man of few words reticent,
taciturn.
Miss S. Yes.
Mr. P. Feeling n great .leal, but
never sayiug so modest, retiring
;ierhais ou may think me too retir
ing? Miss S. Oh. no! not at a.!I!
Mr. P. Hut a man cannot change his
nat ure.
M;ss S.--Of course not!
Mr. P. -I : ni sure I have kept my
secret, tl'.it I have never given ou
reason to i!:'.;k-to imaginethat in
a word. ih:,i I I tlo 1 make mvself
clear?
Mss S. -Oh. perfectly! (Aside) Whut
:s he ta!I.iny olx.ut? Whv doesn't he
go? Mr. P. I will be even more explicit.
(Telephone lx.-il r:ngs faintly. he starts
i:p.) Don't go it was the clock. In
one word. Miss, Smith, the feeling I have
for you is not friendship.
Miss S. (berelest.li t lie telephone)
Oh dear, 1 am sorry to hear that!
why ?
Mr. P. It is more! I ask you to lx
iuy (lx'11 rinT-s loudly, she ritshrs to
telephone! Damn the Im-11! That's ail
over!
Miss s. (at telephone) Yo-? are you
there'.' Are you captain what? Sjx-a!x
up. I can't hear! Four-w heeler? no a
ix toria. What? got a fit? the horse.'
What? not a fit? Then w hy Io you keep
a ietoria that's not tit to ue! (Kings
off violently ami sits down.)
Mr. P. -This id too bad, Mis Smith
let me tell you ties is ttx much of a
good joke! (Hell rings apviin, she rushes
to telephone.)
Miss S. (at telephone) Yes? what?
si ill tm ? rinc off? why did you ring on!
(She rings u IT viciously.) Ah! (She
falls into a chair arid far , herself.)
Mr. P. (furiously) Where's my liat ?
I'm going!
Miss S. Ooing? why?
Mr. P. IWcause I can't stand it any
loni'er!
Miss R. Fin sure I've done all the
standing!
Mr. P. - IKm't ji-ke! rt's lieyond a joke.
Io you know w hat I w as going to say to
you?
Miss R. The telephone didn't give me
X chance.
Mr. P. (with verrom)--Nt. it's lost you
a dunce! I was gxung to ask you to
tin try me to marry me, tlo you hear?
Miss S. (st:vfinc up with out
stretched hands) To marrv vou! Oh,
Mr. Paget!
Mr. P. No, it's too late. I haven't
asked you. and I never will now ! (Her
hands fail i; in ply tn her sides she list
ens 'in crushed silt nee. ) Never will I
ask a woman to marry me whoisftx.l
citoiiirh to domesticate a tame tele
phone in her draw iuc-rooiii! llood-by
I shall not call again. (He takes up
his hat and d-arts, smiling sardonical
ly) Mi? S. (sinking into a chair) Oh
dc::r. oli dear. I've ltwt him! Wiry didn't
I guess what he wanted to siy. but I
couldn't think of anything with that
dreadful Ix'll always going. Oh. my
head! I feel quite daed! I lx-giii to
think u telep'wne is a qiiaHlied bless
ing. (TelepBiie Ih-11 rings.) Ah! this
time it mils; Ix- he! (She ruhv' to the
telephone.) Yes? ure you there? Is
that Capt- Vavasour? Yes yes. You
are very iinpunetual. What ? can't hear
whit? she was very nnpunctual? I
don't understand. I can't sjeak any
louder. I'm sh.iutinc. Yes yes oh,
yes! what? res, oh. yes! I have al
ways felt a deep interest in your ha p
p'ltess. (Aside. Now it's coming.
What ? wliat? I can't hear vou. What
do y ou say? oh. yes. now I do! What?
who? Miss who did you say? (her face
falls.) No. I never met. her. IVe-s she
live in New York? what? (she Iw-comes
vaguely alarmed.) What? Very what?
oh! Fifi not a judge of pretty girls.
(Disgusted. ani more and more
alarmed.) What? what say? Ah! glad
y on are in such gotxl spirits. Yes? yes?
something to tell me? (her face bright
ens.) Oh. vs! do! Yes? yes? oh. yes!
What? what? accepted you? what tlo
you mean? What? what? did you say
marrv her? Ah! (she shrieks and tlrojts
receiver.)
I have lost lxitb! l'th! Oh. why did
I ever have that aliomiiiahle telephone?
(She dr,qs. weeping stormily. into
chair. Curtain tlesteiuls upon her sobs.)
I-s!ie"s Popular Monthly.
The CuaicrrHloaal Library.
Founded iu tlie year JsoO by the mod
est appropriation of $.",ooo "Utr the pur-
ha.se of such liooks us may te neces
saiy for the use of congress at the said
city of Washington. this collection has
grown, notwithstanding the ravages of
two fires, to the present aggTccate of
Tt.i.i.no volumes. The acquisition of the
IclTer.sou library iu lslj. the Force
historical library in lst5, the Smith
sonian library in 1SC7, ami the Toner
collection iu 1Ss2, all constituted es
pecially iniortant and aluable acces
sion f its store. And by the enact
ment of the copy rig-tit law of 1S70, fol
lowed by the international copy rich t
act of ls'.'i, this library Ix-came entitled
to receive two copies of all books, -e-ritdlicaLs
and other publicat ior.s claim
ing, the protection of copyright in the
United States.
AdvertiHing Xta.te.
J1" r and rellaMecirmlatlaa el Lb UW
"J. """ ecBa.i It to tka farvabla
T-2.r,,,5 f ad"iMr 1mm unn will t
iB.rtod at to follow I n low raiaa:
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1 eolamn, 1 yamr ; t aa
aKIIlS,. . tm, flr,t lawtloa. IMS. r Its
nbooqueot lnaerMona, Ac pear lis
a 2?.'.luSur 1 n1 -eitoca NMtcaa.tXM
Auditor'! Notlcaa jj,
tjay and similar Nolle.. XM
'ltK)niorproeewlnTol any corpora
Ho? ,r.'w'e' nmnt-tloiii daalamd to
, . "un to ay attw ot limits or IBdl
ridomi intereat i :t b paid lor a adrttSBatA.
"d Job I r.otliu of all kinds tkaaUy aavd
""-' at Ui lowot prveaa. All
con lyoa forgot it.
FELL OFF THE SHIP.
Sailor. fc Were Xot Aeeaatoaaeat
to the Trolley Uaaboat.
They were two joliy tars off duty aad
making the most of a brief relief from,
"keeping- ship." After a cuviva! call
up the line they were coming-through
Jefferson avenue on the rear end cf a
motor car aud smoking their pipe
while they talked with Uie usual volu
bility of Uie sailor iu xrt. As a lady
came from Uie somewhat crowded car
tiie little fat sou of Neptune atepped to
the street that she mipht nave m clear
I s-viu-"e. Of course he had to touch bia
tap and by this ceremony hew aa delayed
just long enough to have the car start
with a jerk as his foot was on the step
to .vjoin his mate. When lie hit the
pavement he struck out like a strong
swimmer for two or three a-troVc. be
fore realizing that he was not in Uie
water.
"Man overlxiard." whtiojied the lad
oi. the platform. -Dron?d over too
xu t si.le of the strn. Slow her dow n,
iiiii, slow her dow n and Ick up." aa
he excitedly grasped the arm of the con
ductor, "(iive the ciiciueer his bell."
and he seized the strap that registers
fare,, jerked it at the rate of live dollars
per minute till it t ame outby the rout,
having the regit-r hanginc by one
screw.
Meanwhile the little fat sailor wa
coming like a duck iu a foot race, wav
iuc his handkerchief and slioutioc:
"Ship ahoy!" as if the fate of Kobinson
Criix-i would lx? his should thatcares-ta)-.
The passengers could do noth
ing for laughing. The conductor was
vainly fct riving to suppress Uie excited
tar alxiard. and he was calling upon his
eyes to lx blasted ard his timbers to Iws
shivered if he didn't scuttle Uie craft
if she didn't come to and rescue his
mate. He swore, too, that he wan be
il.g manx.ned, for he w anted off to give
the fat one a hand. He was released
at the next corner, where he Mood,
shaking Lis list while he called the con
tl uctor a bloody pirate till his puftinc
consort came alongside. Then they
went rollii g toward the jlice station
to see what the "chief commodore"
would afford them iu the way of ven
geance. IVtroit Free Press.
LIKE MOTHER MADE.
Sugar Pie.- Heat two cups of brown
sugar w ith one-half cuat of butter, three
egg-, audonedialf cup of creaiu. Flavor
with nutmeg. Hake iu a rich crust.
Ctx-o:.iiut Pie. Heat oue-fourth of a
und of butte,r ami tHle-half pound of
sugar together, add three t-irjrs and one
1 1 1 Jxui:d of grated cucoanut. Heat
all ttigeth-.T. Hake in delicate puff
paste.
Kice Custard Pie. Hoil a teaeupfulof
nee. take from the fire, lira in off the
vater. add 1. pints of milk, threa
lx-aten eggs, a teacupful of sugar and a
t:die.-HMinful of butter. Flavor with
1 num. Line deep pie puns. mur in the
custard untl liake in a hot oven.
Marllxirough Pie. Koll Kix maca
roons fine, add one cup of chopped
apples, three eggs, a teacupful of cream,
two t :ibesixiif uls of chopjM'd citron,
and one-half teacupful of sugar. Mix.
Mil! together. Line deep ru tms with
j:!T paste, fill with the mixture and
l-.ike in a lot oven.
Icily Pie. Heat the yolks of three
eggs w ith a cupful of cream, two table-sx-onfuls
of sugar, a cupfid of tart
jelly and a tabU-qitwvnful of butter.
Line pie ans with rich (wste. fill w irii
t'jc mixture and lake in a hot. oven.
When done, cover the top with nmr
ingue and set in the oven for one min
ute. Almond Cheese Cakes. Mix one cup
fu of cream, one cupful of milk curds,
the yolks of five eggs and one cupful of
sugar, stir over the fire until thick,
flavor with the pure extract of al
mond. Pour the mixture into tart tin
lined w ith puff paj-te. and bake ten min
utes in a very hot oven. Housewife.
Jk
WILD HORSES.
Cuaitaa nonaeattemted Aalaial.
I'ruBi Honae.
Wild horses "ne getting to be quits
numerous again ou the flats in the
Texas Panhandle aud in Ilea ver county.
They are very troublesome, says the
Cincinnati Knquirer, as they lead away
the horses ltelonciiic to the cow men.
and grangers, ami when a domesti
cated borsr once pets w ith a w Ikl bunch,
it is an all day's job and sometimes it
takes several days to catch him. The
laziest old crow tait alive, or the gen
tlest family horse, after associating- for
a few- day s with these mustangs, seems
to forget his raising; all the old-time
wildness of his forefathers seems to
crop out iu him. a nd. although formerly
he may have allowed himself to lie
caught anywhere, Le will not then j-r-niit
u mau to get within a half mile of
him. Alxut the only way to reviver a
horse of this kind is to run the entire
bunch dow n and corral them, or to rope
the tmes wanted. Nearly all our stock
men have lost horses, in this maonnr,
aud the mustang, instead of twine
bxiketl upon with resect and with cov
etous eyeti. as in the past, is now con
sidered an intruder and a ftf-st. and is
shot tlow n whenever opportunity of
fers. Since horses became so cheap
tliere is no object in catchinc mus
tangs, ami this once valuable repre
sentative of the 1 x-s t friend of man In
now clatsaed in the same category as tho
covote and other "varmints."
HIc Steel thlnufr
A Philadelphia firm has jurt given an
illustration of the advances made ia
building oteratious by- erecting a steel
chimney 217 feet high, in the remark
able time of ten weeks. This steel
chimney has N-en erected at the Kidge
wco.1 pumping-station. Fast New York,
ami can lie seen for miles as it rears its
slender stem high alxive every otherob
jeet in the vicinity. Workmen are at
present engaged in filling the big steel
till- with brick, to prevent the heat t.f
the great chimney injuring the metal.
The chimney's foundation runs 25 feet
into the ground ai-d is built of concrete,
into which are sunk, to a depth of li
f-et. steel rods two inches in diameter.
To these steel rtxUare bolted plates of
cast iron two inches thick, and to these
are fastened the steel plates that form
tLt chimney. The chimney- is 22 feet
in diameter at the base, tapering at the
top to eight feet, and in a high w ind ha
- 1 . - 1 -
..ixj.it eigm uicucs sway. A britk
J chimney has a sway of from 12 U JJ
inches. X. Y. Journal. ...