.Alver,tiingr KatCM.
The larire and reliable circulation 01 tha Oat
bria pimam KiinmfMi it to tha favoraDbs eoB'
(deration of aVrertiw. ' e favor will foe 1b
Mrted at tha following low rata :
1 lnc. 8 time fj.to
1 " 3 month a.M
1 " 6 month g,o
1 " 1 year a. SO
6 month! B.C.
1 " 1 year 1a.cn
S " 6 month M.yr
'It I'ul'll.Hllf I. WeeBly t
. kij. n m torwrr.
I!Y J1M t.. HS01.
- I is.
S " 1 year 11.00
, j , i vmir. ivin in l innet II. )
,i.i II u.t puui within 3 month.. 1.75
It unti, i. I within month. 1.00
,1,1 II mil i'i,l wt.hlo the year.. 1 Jt
:,, iiurioan re.iliinttf outalde of the county
:ntdittonl iter year w.ll te charged Ua
iu.
11 mi event wul Hi utve term he Oe
mnii. and thuaewho lnn 1 ennault toetr
uti-m o intViim in Juvim-e mux not at
ho -in'-rl t-n 1 lia una N.ollnK a thM who
t itu. i.m-1 te dt-tiiu'tly underauiod trum
it i'i annl.
v r.ir your paner nature You akin It. If atnn
ii
eol'n 6 moDtha 18. on
6 month VLrm
H " 1 year an.
8 months. n.nn
I year T60o
Hoeine item. fTt insertion toe. per Una ; Mil)
atseqaent inaertlon rc. per line.
Administrator's and Executor's Notl;S3 t. VI
Auditor's Notice ...... 1.00
Stray and similar Notices.. 1.60
W Rriohtf iom or procrtgina ot ami corpoYOlia
cr lorw-fv .d romntunu-ar imn dmy-ned to cotl ' I ft
turn to cr , wuit'er of timitrd or tnifircifual inter
mwtt be hu oi a a'dvnrt Uementt.
Job Fbiwtibo or all kind neatly ande-xpedlt-onsly
executed at lowest prices. Ion't jou forget
It.
.1
" :
JVI 'ii
I". '"
fill t"l
cr. .1:
nf I
J. 1.
til
I
II f ' '
JAS.C. HASSON, Editor and Publisher.
IS A f BKIMiH WHOM THK TROTH MAXX8 TBXI, 1KB ALL ARK 8LATK8 BISID-'
81. CO and postage per year. In advance.
VOLUME X I.
uiiat ivnn lut mvtlnwitkf do otherwise.
i e a aoiiiiwHit luc la too (hurt. 1
EBENSBURG, PA.. FRIDAY, JULY 1, IS87.
NUMBER 24.
WW
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w art E3
m Wv "leg
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Send for 73-Pago
ILLUSTRATED CATALOGUE
I.-TIOM TMIS PAP2R.
WK W!T S,000 nORR HOOK
A(.i:TNIO.ELLUlU HKU UUUE.
Secrets-
a. t:::ta2:, at.
cfP.3.Sit::t!ro::r;i.
i r Tint .Of
ps:s?.Service
PC
A Nt Dimik .Ic-T 1vbi.iiiku by an offlclai of
-r 1 yfitra' axiH-rtfnca in the heerat Service, in
tiiw- Miu.nuUi-4-nt ltiyul i ictan-o Voluma f over 6tJ
t-'.-) mid i'i.'i.-aiiUy illuslritlcU by the Ix-ot artita ia
tv country with
UK) SIP EH It F."VGH A VINOS.
K tlinUinir rf ird of dtectiin tn the U. 8. Powt-t'-ln"
lN-piu-tlniat ; embracing alu-U-he of V'onHr
fui A.'171iai Pi -at tirtlce inmt-t"ra in th Itrtre
t'. M, PuiHiut. and t iiiiturv if Kolib-ra of tho U.
tii-; t'ii-thrr with a rompluto d arxiptioo of the
niiny naur and cotnpltruti-d c'Utrivaiicee of Cbe
a..y aiid uucruptiioua to defruud U10 public; aise
an if irult ucco'int f tho
n ,'toiM sn it it cx't K fr trot,
in -Tliicli the 1 .liirt.ir had tit re cbari;i of iba pra
pVkLoti of tbo cvoikc for tho covrrnnivnt.
ti-ACENTS WANTEDS
Ii. . -'vry town tlnTi' ure I'lkatmastt ra, Merrliunia,
V. i i-n-uc-, t-'atinvrs. I'rcft .-kaional Mi-n, and hnn
t!n 1? : iui;ilr kk hu u ul i yiu.l to ytt t'.ia trilimg
6. a . It -1 now l. iui; nn uiikirulirU aiv; it ililt
n.'tf 1'.'. M u atiI V 1'iUkji Akfk'iita luUun frtm
.i ' . $ :o0a tuonth ruKiiv. Wc w.iut au ac.-tit in
t .. tihip m tho t'. Ji. nnd Canada. rW e
f v, .'it aa tii;at Ant l'Kia with Una plu,
lik'in- ;. I -! i-i.if 'jMOk. can brcomv a fui-caaW Afrit.
Xo t'""'.'ii tth itercr. A:' nt aro Din tin;
rxj v. v trik-e 'iwiita Ttrtnt to piy rtvjJ$.
Ii- -1. !iil-r, w giro you the t iclu.'o ke u( tbia
b. , k in t rr tory awlni-d you. rite for onx bvrifa
I : 'rit ! ;rul.tra, rcutaininir full partBsalara.
S, -.1 ..' T nn.' :o Aj-i.t.x, arc, aunt five to ail. AU
C: -a ; i.mluiu-iy lUe Publiahmi,
V I N 1 1. II X (-0.,SIRIMFIEL,3LiSS.
FiauJl of llurtford. Conn. J
kid Wap U,
X.VNtPA- TlUIBi or
Txi-wlcclei Yillao rhatona,
IPL LHOLLAND S'JCKBOARD. No. 21.
T'Mii-;r1 1-l"i:iili a-rivwVH :P -
Uio elliK sI'KIMi-. l.ii)V-l.ixl e I
!KI,"';; ii.s ; am . tabl fr -rltT
-mi. ii - r..l-., Hiid iirir l all otiimw '
U u .- i-dimf, pt-rnirai lmsra r -
f . .. .lt r.,iuu. fr jttUoti a,i. 1
mr.'-'
lord Wajvn Co., Ciacin uti, 0.
u. i
J t ii . .1 7if N"r-. -.a,. Oebi ! it f.
' ' ''' N"'"'"' nubility,
j ' "r'1' : " ' lironin l( (tn mn
l .il.iU. Mnik in th
J ..U.iii.T, Kriifht'n IMswsnyi-
rJt.T; Uver C'oruplrwnt and
-waSwBBaawSwawwwBwawawaawaww
I'i .ca-4 9 of the Momuch.
G'
I .r 1 rimlat i nut of w.r piruph- c
. i' "im ff !.::." or ii art
...i l:i ad nt 1 icn . i
. a-1 im''ntK. at l ln-w,
I r -i
r r Ixiti.i : ai x tor I
.1 li
J-
" l .i i i f.n
n a ii, i i uTiuaa.
II I. B,
i-i ..'aa.iti.
SUE SHAVING PltOR!
"ilnii- loiataii 11ihi. ii LIotJ'j lUildio.
STliEET.JGBKNSBL'lJ'-J. PA.
II. (i.VNT, I'r...ri. tor.
rir fm.i(. tl iw4vaflrd u at our i.lte
'-Hi'" in tiii.-i.iM h-i'ira. tvirylhlrii keri
S (vni;tHH-lX Wholly of Bar I
bio hiarr.MliitiU. f-ici otr
k inwi.- ;1 I'y ti' mell-fc
i'i-i:i. ni'it viu-nt r'a.11 1
-i.-ijiun - tii K ni-Hlic! I
v . r : . : cvjrv rnea'.f
!-U ci'y.
-'.a luwu a -M-iAi.jr.
r f royal r.iiit
Absolutely
i-ure.
I lia i-nw :ji r.cr arir
ireniclh aiiil I- i-nirr.a
A n-.rvt of purity
M- it rn.Dimlcl
than tha or ;uiarj kmdr, am! ci i.. t te old In
e.iinietii i.iu ITh th. uiullli-iN .. i ilr!, a te.
. short waiicht. itlum l. r ), hu h. k . . a r 4d
ony ia ih. Hoi i:m Ikb I v kt l'o..lu0
Witiitt..;KW V.-. -
cured
Of RHEUMATISM by uln
RUSSIAN RHEUMATISM CURE.
It i not a eon-all It anna Bothma; bat THmllaa
rimi. but it ia a safe and aiurtt car. f- ttuu 1
Tti'MiMuula woe b.ra bean cured will taatifj ta ta ra-
Ua.O. B rum, at MSI I. lath St.. PtaiUd . wraae
f-tr mnnth. aftvr h. hd bvtn curvd hy lltm Rimua
KliiainuUwniCtil. (aajtinf U nmo wtwthar It wuoid Bo
rarn). wymar hawM blridda with tha di.ua .a, and
thnti Ih w, nit.l .mm hia n. frwm tha mttuctj ha
had tkftandura. .ad uialda of t.ow-lk. ba aunual
T th ia r-fiumly. thmi;h ha had hH hknaa phyauriu.
Snl UMd th-r rm-lktka wtthuat raauit, pmtkMaa W
tr)in tUla wuadartul remadji.
- Mm. Pha A. Cox. Amfrvu and Mama Bt . Phlla..
ftud "My tfwaa badnddan. anil bar auoditcili'i!e
tn. dH.ir. TVirtnn And aTantlnna W fkilvd Tiia
jltiMMi.n KDnmuiMn I lira rnrtxi nt-r in
ItVKHY UOI .
IIU1 BOTH .
TBAItK XIKKb
IAJTD
SIGXaITBE
Tw-aVa t hi Him
aUUwirT 4wl WCaa I rfxto
are am
!wor eomr'e uuormatinn, Ua-wrlptlT Pais.
pblt-t. wiUi k.UiiiuuukM, tree.
For sale by nil drmtajiata. Ii one or the other la
Aot In iaiUon to fumukh it to you. do not be lT
ualal to take auyttuiur elm, bnt ai rly direct to tb
tlcneral Am-nta, PKAKI.Z KR I1IIIK eV ( U.
bit J ail aiurket birvct, I'taisulelpkiaw
THE CHAUTAUQUA
Corn&Seed Planter.
A ONE-HAND
AUTOMATIC MACHINE.
t April 4, IH82.
1 J lb, 84, l".3.
All of Mcta.1. Light. Strong,
Well Conatructd a.nl
Eletrantly Padnted-
Plavnta Corn (and pumpkin
aeeda), Beavna, etc
WOKKS WILL IN MODI, LLMPT
AND kTOMT CKOL'NO.
Hichlv rn-orameDkil by Farmers
nnd IvaU-ra in all M-rtions.
The time Kaved ia one day'
uxo will pay for it.
PRICE, - S2.7Q.
I.iln ral di-rount tn agents
nrd Hit- trade.
anva-iM r.tMly makr ln.00per
1 . 1 y lu the 4abliiig rea.-ton.
Svci for circular
and extra Induce.
DH-ntato agent and
ranTasera.
Mentn u tbia pa-
per, and aditrcaa.
j The ChautaaqaapianterConiptin j
JAMESTOWN, N. V.
B. J. LYWCH,
iUNDMHTAKi-: 1.
A n f M ami I h'I 111 t kt !!.- in
HOME AND CI 11 RIE
'FURNITURE!
; mm W chamsi?, suits.
.LOUNGES, BEDSTEADS,
IWHtMSB CHAIHH,
! l;o:, KLKVKNTII AVKM'K,
I ALTO OX A, TLNX'A.
I ir'C'i : 1 i Can.r-l 1 1 m.i) ard al
' othi- wib i n i;Ji l - 1 ot FUKNI
' Tl'SlK. Ar . at ft f-t rr- a are rrj-CTfully
1 invlta-o t irivr ti fail rfti r- t-m idk r-
I VliTf. BH Vk r- HI- C fj ! I I, t ltl we CiaU
tDffi rvir mul atid ;:ta- -vfr taste,
l'rt-es tb very lomet. If. MMt.l
PATENTS
tbtalnrt ai d all PATENT BVMNESS at
tfmtrrt t. ror l()Dtl:ATE .
Our t flicf i f. Ki'f tbe I", fv Patent
, C)flic. and v ran obtain tiatnu in Una time
1 than tl.o.-f ri-moia frum WASHINX.TOX.
S-Mt MfHIKI. OK MiAW INO. W ad
a to patrntahlhtv tre of f har-i and we
1 . .... . .... W-VI fkw W . "T T--.T If IC
Hl IM I 1 .A lk r. I .llir.M I A1U I 1"J j
fcKl L'KKD. I
We tefTf. hT". to tlie I'lietOIBrU-r, the I
Nuut. of Mmhf Oidf 1 Dir.. and to tbe otH- !
etale cf ti e i: I"t r.t Office. For clrcu-
Utni. Biiyicf, terms ami rririBiKTs mj acwai
! aciieuttf in your own ht:e write to
c. A.Hjiow & r:o.;
j rn- Palrat Oslia e hi naitaaa. . C
I'xa.To-Fon'rEa.
I NfcUCAtXED
Tors, Tracli,? crlnsii-tiii & Dnraiilily.
TTI-LIAM K1ABE . C
Kua. irm and art Vn LiaHlmnra Firrt. ultimo ra
Nuk IU JOCUt A'tnue, .V w Vurk.
PRAW-POKER
Tlw jM-ol.aH-li'la-. a ilk -.lrnlllani. ' Baal n"
L..u,,:x I'll), r. 11. IflWi aaiiuiliil '-
K..11M iat'U i vpl uiMNl. ... HO-' '' '" 1 . 11
i-... ii,- ii-. "' Mum. iiwny,y? t.nii..p.r
ml i,a-as. N- V..I H a-..I 4.-l ''',- . -
it-l 1
K M1.. iiiikiikkiti. m.
I.L .1
liiiuaiiu 1
"iw.-
' - r-r-
mm-
50
rT U
Ml
THE L07EES' GOOD-KIGIIT.
Oro.l-r.!ht And yet I would linger fUII.
For thorv I-.irk- in the phrase a strange
wi.l thrill.
Ovt rslin. lowing love's delipht;
And rv-r. iw?theart, sinei ltomeo
To .tulU't rniirniured it Ion ago.
Vi"a-s it harder to 6ay, pood-nlght I
Boft quiver the moonbeams through the
vinos.
I?ut a dowier lustre trembles and shine)
In your ey, tear-dinimetl, yot hrlht;
And. like tliefluh of the day's'flrst dawn.
The rosp on your cheek blooms quick and
U pone.
Good-nipht, my darling, good-night I
Pad is the wave's kiss on the sand.
Hu' sadder the clasp of trembling hands.
The brown one holding the white.
And our hearts cling closer than ever be
fore As those sorrowful words are faltered
once more :
GooU-niKht, dear love, giod-nlght V
ToBKod by the breeze, the jasmines pour
Their jerfiinie dowu by thet-ottage door
From ietaU of creamy light ;
But these sweets aro mixed with a sense
of In
For lovers who part, though to meet agntn.
Good-night, sweet blossom, good-nlghtl
From leaf to leaf, and from spray to spray.
The dear-spikes dance in tholr twinkling
piny
jow liere. and now loft to sight;
Hut purer pearls are the t ars that 6htn
In vnur K-uutiiul eyes upturned to mine.
Good-night, bright weeper, good-night !
But the moon will wane In an hour or
more.
Ajid the flowers that swing at the cottage
door
"Will rejoice In the new dawn 7 light ;
Bo love will elumlier. no love's sleep lcara
In the trust and truth of its waking
dream.
Good-night, beloved, good-night I
I -'
A HELPMEET INDEED.
Just on the confines of one of our large
mriitufnetiiriug towns, th.-re stands an
Imposing residence of brown stone,
el'-vated by terraces above the road,
tktiiToiuided by stalely tre.s, and with nn
ext-'iit of garden t retching on all sido.
1 lia l li-n einj l.iyi d in piim-l-pniiiling
c eof t he 1 iree last rooms fr some wooks.
and my curiosity and Intertwt had been
exeiti by the fact that the muster of
the house. Mr. Joseph Kninlall. wm a
tall, hiiiidx.uie man of less than fifty
years, while hi wife was certainly
twenty years older, a feebl- old woman.
Yet never were any youLg couple more
fioeiptiigly devoted than this oddly-contrasted
pair; and I, living in the houso,
vitu con-titnt uccupntiou there, certainly
bad gol opportunity for witnessing
tiny matrimonial differences, had- any
e.Mi-titl.
When my work was done, I returned
to my own home, and several months
lattT," by piite nn accident, not neces
sary to n'cord here, I learned the story
of Mr. Randall's inarriiige.
Frm early loyhood lis was a"ne'er-rio-
ll." Money ran through his fingers
lik- sand, and alter his father, his gran I
futhiT. an 1 his unele ha-l each stnrted
him in b isiriess. mly to end tn failure,
the family decided that he would never
Le i;.mhI lor anything.
lie was a very handsome man, with a
college education, the instincts and
manners of a gentleman, and kindly In
feeling : but he was good-natured, trust
ful, and too easily influenced by whoever
Lonk tlie trouble to dictate to him.
Al thirty he found himself bankrupt,
out of business, and without any de
finite prospects ; and while he was seri
ously considering suicide as a way out
of his difficulties, he received an
Invitation to visit an old friend In
Grantley, a pretty village near the sea.
He found Grantley at the height of
Its summer season, and his own attrac
tions very readily acknowledged by the
ladies, who danced with him, llirtoa! with
him, strolled on the bach by moonlight
with him. and accepted his graceful at
tentions with smiling pleasure.
It was here that he was introduced to
M.s Suan Harte and her niece and sup-jo-ed
heirss. Miss Maude Maxwell.
They were 1 adieu of position, refined
and graceful ; th younger one lovely in
the freshness of her youth, a pretty-blond-
face, and slender figure; the
older one stately and dignified, showing
in every word a cultivated intellect and
Strong common-sense.
Bob White. Mr. Randall's friend, after
the Introduction, spoke his mind with
frank If vulgar freedom :
"Go In for the heiress, Joe. They
Bay the old lady is worth a quarter of a
million, and Miss Maude is her only rela
tive. Anyone can see that they are de
voted to each other."
And anyone could also see every evi
dence of wealth In their surroundings.
Their own carriage, with two magni
ficent horsa. was with them for their
daily use. their costumes were of the
most costly materials, their jewelry
was superW. A lady's maid attended
them, and they occupied an entire suite
of rooms at the only hotel.
Friendship led to intimacy, and Mr.
P.mdall did try to fascinate the heiress,
whose simpering prettiness covered
Bold heart and a common-place mind.
To dress well, to ! a centre of at'.rao
tlon for bowing beaux, mere the objects
of her ambition, and her conversation
never roe above the level of the smallest
of small-talk.
Though fc had always seemed to lack
business ability. Mr. Randall wsa no
fool, and b found himself evening after
evening taming from Miss Maxwell's
vapid talk to the fresh strong mind that
Shone through her aunt's conversation.
Mis-a llaj-te was an accomplished
musician, with a rich contralto voice, and
love of music had always amounted to a
passion wall Mr Randall, so there was
a strong bond of sympathy there.
The summer wore away pleasantly,
and it was only when elo?aed cottages
and a deserted beach told of deiaarting
guests that Joseph Randall asked him
self seriously how his summer flirtation
was to end.
He was not a conceited man. yet
Maude Maxwell had let him see very
Elainly that she had a preference for
U society and attentions. Yet he
shrank from the prospect of a wife with
no Idea atove dress and gnyety, how
ever richly rhe might be dowered.
Loving "neither, in the true sense of
the word, he certainlx found more pleas
ure" In the society of the older lady, and
then a little demon of policy whispered
to him that, after all. the money was
Miss Harte's, and, with her social posi
tion and real attractions, she might
marry, and so deprive Maude ot her
supposed inheritance.
Ii was true that she was old enough to
be his mother; but a handsome woman,
and one so thoroughly tasteful in dress,
could always appear younger than actual
years warranted, and he liked her;
yes. ho certainly respected and liked
iter
For two or threo days he he!t(itrl,
shrinki' yet frotn placing himself in
the position of a fortune-hunter, and
tlien be wrote a manly tender letter
to MLss Haite, asking her to be his
wife.
He had sufficient tact to avoid flattery
and not to make sickening protestations,
and the letter lre the stamp of sin
cerity on every line. An hour later Ids
tio-ssengor brought an answer, and Miss
Ilarte was his affianced wife.
Escorting the ladies to their home, a
niagti:nVi!t country seat, Mr. Randall
would not have beru human had he not
congratulated himself upon the future
ownership of the wealth so lavUhly re
presented all around him.
He had said nothing about the future
position of Miss Maxwell, good-naturedly
willing that 6hc should find still a
home with her aunt; but he sometimes
thought he would give her a hint
about assuming so much the air of mis
tress of the house.
The wedding was magnificent, the
honeymoon spent in traveling uioii a
wedding-gift of a cheque from Mr.
Randall's uncle; and one morning, in
cosy confidence, the subject of going
home arose.
Where have you taken rooms, dear?
Mrs. Randall asked ; "or shall you go to
housekeeping?"
Rooms," cried the bridegroom:
' shall you not return to your own
house?"
My own house! I have no house,
Joe," for suddenly the truth flashed
upon her; "did you think I had money?
I thought everyone knew that I was
Maude's pensioner. Oh," and her face
was very pale, what a fool I have lecu !
I though that you loved me."
"You ore 110 fool in thinking that."
was the quick reply, as her husband put
his arm around her; "I do love you.
I did think the position reversed, and
that Maude depended on you; but
never doubt my love. If It was not
very ardent when I proposed to you, it
grows stronger every day that we spend
together."
But yet you thought me wealthy?"
A humiliating fact I cannot deny ;"
and then In a 6udden outburst of con
fidence, Mr. Randall told his wife th
whole truth, dwelling somewhat longer
ujon his business attempts and perplexi
ties, than on the hope he bad enter
tained of a future life of luxurious idle
ness. When he had finished, his wlfo
6ioke :
" Y'ou may not like to hear my father's
opinion of me, Joe, though he meant It
to bo a complimentary one. He always
said I should have been a man, for I had
a true business head.
" For ten years before he died he was
paralyzed, and I was the actual hwad of
his business, the weaving of carpets. In
W . He left me a competency,
which was stolen from me by a dis
honest trin-tee; and I should have
taken up some occupation to gain my
own living had not Maude been left an
orphan, and implored me to livo with
her.
" It was scarcely a life of dependence,
for she needed me, and her lavish gifts
of clothing and jewelry I accepted in
the place of the salary anyone else in
my place must have been paid. I was
hou-ekeeper and chaperon, and we were
very happy; but I never 1 reamed that I
was supNscd to own her wealth.
Now listen to my proposition:
The factory my father controlled Is
closi-d, but I am an old friend of the
owner, who carried on the business for
a short time after my father died, and
found his Ignorance of the details swept
away ail the profits. I will introduce
you to him, and the sale of my diamonds
will give us sufficient capital for a
modest st -it.
"Y'ou will be nominal master, as my
father was, until you conquer all tho in
tricacies ,f the business, gain our old
customer-, and carry on the whole with
out a-sist.iin-e.
" I'ntil then, let mo direct and teach
you. as I helped my father. When you
are a rich man" and hero Mrs. Ran
dall's eyes grew dim with tender feeling
you can buy me some more dia
monds." It was not a matter for hasty decision.
Mr. Randall, remembering his failures,
wus doubtful of his ability, but his wife
had her way, and before their wedded
life was six months old, Mr. Randall was
engaged in his new business.
Spurred on by an honest shame that a
woman had a better business head than
his own, he did what he had never done
beforo threw his whole soul into bin
business, and was amazed himself to find
how soon he learned to guide it. He had
never supported he osss!ed such abi lily.
Every day filled his heart with deeper
love for the noble woman who was so
true and faithful a helpmate to him ; who,
with ail the knowledge ha lacked,
never let one clerk or employe guoas
her real position.
At homat in the evening, she showed
him the result of her day's correspon
dence or look-kecplng. and gave him
clear Instructions for the next day's
work.
And he, learning quickly, had sufficient
sense to let her control the entire busi
ness, until she heraelf, after two years of
faithful work, said :
" Yon can do without me, dear. I
resign."
They had lived very economically in
those two years, Mrs. Randall govern
ing the small house and on a servant as
efficiently as she had controlled her
niece's grand mansion or the affair of
the factory.
But ambition once roused In Joseph
Randal! he resolved to giva his wife
a home as handsome as the one she
bad left for love of him. Depriving hor
of no comfort he could afford to give
her, he denied himself all extravagancies
that Bad becoiue socond naturo.
figars were thrown aide. clothing
was reduced to rspectahilliy. ignoring
the nuuiy changtas of fashion, riding was
exchanged for an 04--as.lonal drive with
Mrs. Ladidall. ami ytsir by year Joseph
RaulaU saw his business increase, his
bank account enlarge, until he was
master of a flourishing business, and
of the magnificent home where Mrs.
RandaJl had m ployed me to paint the
panels of the bed-room doors.
And as years robbed the devoted wife
of her strength and the noble beauty of
middle life, they took nothing from "the
love of a husliand, who knew that to
her he owed all his prosjK-rlty. He
realized fully the life of Indolent luxury
he would have l-d, and contrasted it
with tbe useful one to which she had
guided him.
A kind master, the families of his
work-people knew they had always a
friend in the head of the vat establish
ment In which the husband and father
toiled. Without children, both Mr. and
Mrs. Randall extended their charities far
and v. i.le, and when gratitude met them,
Joseph Randall said :
The thanks are yours, dear. But
for you I should be that dreadful object,
an aimless, indolent man of fashion,
what In days gone by they called ' an old
beau.'"
Bla Lavat Tick.
"Old Bexton Brows," the one fa
mous sexton of Grace Church, New York
City, used to show Ids friends an epitaph
width he copied from a tombstone la
W ales as one of the rarest curiosities ot
churchyard literature.
It has never hitherto been published :
"Here lies in a horizontal posi-.lon
the outside case of George Rutleigh
atch Maker, whoso abilities In that
line were an honor to his I'rofest-lon.
Integrity was the mainspring and Pru
dence the regulator of all the act o .s of
his nfe. Huma ie. Honest and industri
ous, his hands tiev r stopped until they
had r iieved distress.
"He hal the art of disposing of his
time in such a way that he never went
wrong except when set agoing by per
sona who did not know his key. and even
then was easily set right again.
He departed this life. Nov. 7. 1811.
wound up lu the hope of his being taken
In hand by his Maker, thoroughly
cleaned, regulated and repaired, and set
agoing In the world to cotae." --
IN THE CHINESE CAPITAL
The Sight.. Sound a and Novel Experiences
of the Traveller In Fekln.
On entering Pekin our cart got on to
ye gods, what? I know not what we
traveled over, but how I felt at the time
no words can palut.
It seems that a few hundred or a few
thousand years ago. It matters little
which, an ambitious emperor, wishing
to anticipate the great Appi us, laid out
some p nved roadways In and about the
capital with blocks of stone several
yards square. They were doubtless
useful in their day.
As Chinamen, however, worship tra
dition, and love a thing because It Is
old, these roadways which have become
a loose assortment of mutilated stone
blocks, are In their eyes holy relics of
antiquity. What is more, the degree of
holiness they may be presumed to possess
is largely measured by the degree ot
badness which they unquestionably ex
hibit, and which is no doubt an Incident
of their antiquity.
Tlds explains why all heretical repairs
have boen forbidden on these highways.
This explains why the Chinaman who
travels these streets In his cart has to
bold on to the sides with all his might
to keep his brains from be ngdashe-i out
on the top or sides, or his shoulder dis
located. The foreigner, unless he be a
missionary, takes It out. I fear, In swear
ing. The ruts In these city pavements
were often a foot deep, an t, of course,
abrupt. Our tough little springier crt
thumped and banged about in a way that
would have shivered any Anglo-Saxon
vehicle. A buckboard ri le In the Adir
ondack wilderness In the mlost of fallen
trees, rocks and bo;s. is a good begin
ning for one who wishes to lead his mind
up to a conception of what it means to
take a drive in Pekin.
And yet I was after experience, and I
got it. In the Intervals between the cart
thumps. 1 noticed that I was in a crowd
ed thoroughfare, made up of screaming
Chinese of all ages and se.es. Some
were steering wheelbarrows, piled high
With vegetables, baekels and boxes.
Borne wheelbarrows had donkeys pull,
tng on ahead, and a man to each
Side steadying the load.
Bad luck to a man that got his little
wheel In a rut, as happened not infre
quently. My, what a Jabbering and
gesticulating goes up then, not only from
the disabled parties, but from the doz
ens of others who cannot got by.
Then we passed long trains of camels,
swinging along in their pa '.lent and pow
erful way. not noticing anybody In par
ticular, but apparently satisfied that
everything means to get out of their
way, as It does.
These great trains of camels come
down from the Northern plains of Mon
golia, burdened with what that country
furnishes, furs and coals principally.
They are plcture-que features of the
city, especially tho attendant Mongolian,
who stalks ahead in his tierce dress of
furs, looking like some grim Norseman
entering a city of effieminate southern
ers. Ioukeys, and mule carts Innumerable,
struggled along In the rut and dust,
while wi.at chinks were lert fairly
swarmed with Chinamen on foot, carry
ing burdens on the ends of their bauiboo
poles, or skipping fiom stone to ot-ne
in their Inc. -s ant efforts to avoid cess
pools, tin: 1 seemed part of the streets,
and camels that knew no yielding to the
rig'it of way.
Sidewalk- seemed unknown. But tho
Stench that erected me from time to
time was a m .-1 paiu.ulproor at the
same spirit that iuftntle any Ciiange tn
the 6treet pavement, allowed tho sani
tary arrrangenients of the city to take
Care of themselves.
Pekin has four walls, walls within
walls. And as though that was not
enough in the wall line, the districts ot
the city are walled off at night, so as to
guard ai'aint Insurrection. Houses In
turn, are walled in around like a ha
c.en -a on our southwestern frontier.
When in 12CO the i;reat Kuolai-Khan
made this his capital he kept his Tartar
city disi inct from the Chino-e city by a
wall. It is odd to note that the side
oilrlnally occupied b, the Tartars is a
clea..er place tnaa that peopled by the
Chinamen.
Inside of the Tartar wall is the wall
surrounding the Imperial cit-. within
which princes and high dignitaries live.
In the centre ot this wabed enclo-ure
is another wall guarding the Sacred City,
beyond which no European has ever pen
etrated since the days of the first Jesuit
missionaries.
The popular notion is that gold and
precious t-t-mes aro at a largs discount
lu that neighborhood, but If that Is the
case, it has not had any perceptible good
Influence ou Chinese currency.
The stories heard to-day about this
sacred palace are of a kind with those
that Marco Poio told In the thliteenth
Century, when he inflamed Venice wita
the marvels he pretended to have seen
at the Khan's p ilace.
Here Is supposed to be the " Dr gon's
throne," the seat of the emperor, what
ever that may be. Two square miles of
pleasure grounds are here lu the heart
of a populous city, obstructing passage
Iron one side to the other. Outing.
Bead Aaaakam CemmonUta.
The Zoarites are a very peculiar
people, who live in Ohio and hold their
property in common. They are an old
as the Shakers or the Oneida Com
munity. Their views of projerty are
much the same as those bodies hold,
but their practices as to married life
aro different.
Their community Lad its origin about
seventy-five vears ago in Wnrtembnrg,
Germany, for a pood while afta-r the
colony came to this country marringe
was considered an irregularity. The
cholera of lXi'2 made frightful ravages -among
them. They then Ikegan to con
sider tho propriety of xaarriage. They
esteemed it wrong to go outside and
contract marriages among the world's
people, and so they married among
themselves.
They are now the larpost and most
protpcroua communistic society in
the United States, and are exceedingly
thrifty in their business affairs. They
own ten or twelve thousand acres of
land, and are superior farmers and
millers. They bolievs in a millennium
of peace and glory, prior to which the
Gospel will be preached all over the
world. Their religious services are
much the same as those of the leading
Protestant denominations.
Naming- tbe Salvation Army, "
General Booth of the Salvation Army
gave a reporter this aocount of the nam
ing of the Army :
One of my secretaries was writing a
little tract, describing the movement,
and he wrote on the title page: 'The
Christian mission Is a volunteer army.
" I leaned over his shoulder, took h la
pen out of his hand, crossed out the
word volunteer,' and wrote 'Salvation.'
" We liked the sound of it, seeing that
It really described what the organization
was a body formed and united after the
fashion of an army, with the purpose of
delivering men from sin and the devil,
bo we adopted the name Salvation Army.
The terms General, Captains. Lieu
tenants, etc, soon followed. '1 he drums,
flags, banners, and the like were adopted
gradually. In currying on the purpose al
atlracUiig the people." . - -
LATE FORGIVENESS.
"No. Mister," said Uncle Jake, "I
ain't spliced nor never was."
For many years Uncle Jake had kept a
little tavern near one of the inlets where
the sea breaks through the long sand
bar into tho Great South Bay, at
a point about fifteen miles from" New
York.
Of a pleasant Sunday In Summer It
was a pretty lively resort. Unelo Jake
made a Jovial host, and people used to
say that he owed his good health in a
great measure to the frequency with
which he drank to it himself. Mot of
the fishing parties from the harbors
along the bay stopped here for a clam
bake and a cocktail; yachtsmen an
chored near the inlet and sportsmen
would put up at the tavern for a week or
two at a time.
But in winter It was a dreary spot.
The monotonous turmoil of the srtrf
was broken only now and then by the
shrill cry of the gull or the shrieking
of the wind as it whirled across the bar.
During the long storms only an occa
sional wrecker or a patrol from the life
saving station visited the place, and at
any time in Winter a party like ours was
a rarity.
A real Bohemian freak had brought us
down to Uncle Jake's that night. Tiie
evening before a dozen of us art:sts had
met at a little reunion In the studio of
one of our tmmlier, and one of us seeing
a sketch of Uncle Jake's tavern on the
easel, had proposed paying hitn a Win
ter's visit.
We all knew Uncle Jake, and the Idea
of a Winter's visit to him was too much
of a novelty to be resisted. So wo set
out for the tavern the next day, and ar
rived there before night time. Uncle
Jake knew that the trip acr-ss the bay
had lioen a rough one. So he staited a
roaring wood lire; and wheti wo had
finished supper he put a Steaming bowl
of punch on the table.
But despite his attention and the jollity
of our party, he wasn't in the : est of
spirits. Not that he didn't dip hU glass
into the punch bowl pretty often,
but he seemed moody and didn't talk
much.
His low spirits seemed also to hnvo a
depressing effect on Samson, his big
mastiff, who was al-out us well known
along the coast as Uncle Jake himself.
IVually he burked a friendly welcome to
everyone who came to the house. Rut
he had been sullen and silent all the even
ing and hal sat near Uncle Jake,
resting his head on his master's knee
and now and then looking up wistfully
at him.
I had known Uncle Jake and his big
dog longer than the others had. and I
iiotic5l that something whs wrong.
The old man seemed glad enough to
see me again and made me sit next to
him. But I felt that since I had l.ee
there some change had come over him
nnd the dog and the old place; and at
times he looked as though he would
like to tell me something but hesitated
on account of the others.
I remembered a pretty, bright-eyed
lass. atout 17 years old. when I last
saw her, who was at the taw rn in for
mer years, and whom we used to call
" T'ni-le Jake's little girl." She made
herself handy aliout the place, and was
so simple and graceful in her bearing
that she was a favorite with all who
went there. The sun had browned her
face and arms, and the wind had
played with her fair hair until it hung
over her forehead like tangled sun
beams. She was tall and lithesome, and as
strong as she was graceful. Often,
when she was a mere girl of 10 or 12,
I had 6een her pulling her skiff across
the bay and hailing the old fishermen as
they scudded past In their smacks.
Many a time they would lay to and
take her aboard and tow her skiff home ;
and then she would take the helm from
the skipper, trim the 6heet and shout
with glee as the spray came dashing over
the bow.
I wondered wha had become of her
and asked Uncle Jake, but he didn't seem
to hear my question, though the dog
sprang t." his feet and roamed about un
easily before he slunk back to his mas
ter's "feet. I was aliout to ask the ques
tion again when one of our party pro
jiosed a song.
While they gathered In a group around
the old piano in the corner, the old maa
stole quietly to the door of another room
and bckoned me to follow him. As I
joined him he was stooping over an old
bureau fumbling among some papers,
while the dog, who had slipjied in after
him, watched him Intently until he put
Ids hand on a tin-type which he drew out
and showed me. It was the picture of a
child, and In the features I recognized
Uncle Jake's littlegirl."
In the next room some one was play
ing a jangling accompaniment ana the
rest were shouting a boisterous song. I
thought then would bo a good time to
ask him what had become of the girl
whose childish features wo were looking
at, so I inquired, by way of introduction,
if he had ever been"inarried. It was to
this he hal replied :
No, Mister, I ain't 6pllced, nor
never was. But yer see," he continued,
as though he knew what I was driving
at, It's uncommon lonesome here in
Winter, an many a time when I've heard
o' some young one ashor yonder as
wasn't cared for at home, I've got its
folks to let mo take it out here with mo.
The children kind o' cheered me up
durin' tho long Winter evonin's, an" when
Summer came I'd ask to have 'em stay a
bit longer. Tho little ones would beg
real hard, too, for I made a good deal
of 'em. and they thought kind o" well '
me for it.
" Some o" them stayed a few years but
as they got big an" could te handy at
home their folks fetched 'em away from
me ; an so at last they all went ; all but
little Maggie, her as they usM to call
Fncle Jake's little girl.' It was a bad
home I'd took her from, an afore she'd
ben with me long her father wandered
off nn' her mother died in the poorhouse.
There wasn't no one to take her from me
then, so she stayed here ; an' right glad
I was to keep her.
She was a smart, likely little thing,
an" I thought as I'd care for her an' lay
by a bit o' money for her. When she
first came here she was no more than 5,
an when yer saw her two summers ago
she was goin' on In.
" Y'er know Maggie was as good-look-in'
a girl as yer could find hereabouts,
an" many a feller as has come here with
his boat In Summer has been kind o took
wi" her. 1 was kind o" proud to hav- 'em
so too, for I'd a precious good opinion
o" Maggie, an' I liked to see 'em bae'e me
up. It weren't every one she'd tal.eto.
neither; for she'd make her choice like
any lady, would Maggie.
" I let her go sailin' whenever she
wanted. She was a good girl an a com
fort to me Summer and Winter, was
Maggie.
" It's goln on three years now. Mis
ter, that a little after the June Maggie
got to be eighteen, there was a young
feller as came over here to stay. He
was a good-lookln ch.tp.strong nn' quick,
an' as handy in a 1-oat as any one I
ever see. He seemed to kind o: like it
her.
' In the leginnin he hired one o my
loats by the w eek, an' w hen he'd had it
that way alout four weeks he took It
for the season. Well. I was glad to let
him have it. for it was often as ho'd take
Maggie out, an' I felt easy when I knew
Maie was with him.
" One bright mornln' In Septemlior
just afore they sailed away she came
n-riiiinin In to me an' says as they was
a-goin' for a long sail an" wouldn't be
back till late. I dldn t begin worryln'
alxiut 'em until it got to bo very late, an'
they hadn't come hack.
" Some folks as was at the house
walked tho leach liotween the Inlets with
roe till late In the night; but we saw
nothin' of 'em. But 1 didn't give 'em
up. It had been a fine day. an it was a
clear, bright night, an' I kind o' trusted
the young feller. Next day early in the
mornin' we spied the Joat sailin' up the
Inlet, an' I U-gan wavin and shoutin' to
'em for Joy. But someone as had a spy
glass said they wasu t aU ard an' mis
ter they wasn't.
" The feller as was In her came from
the Jersey coast, an' he said as a man an'
a girl had lauded there the day before,
an' the man a young, good-lookin'chnp,
he said had paid him to bring tho bout
over.
" I'd kept up pretty well till then,
but when I know'd she wasn't come
back, an' felt all of a sudden as If she
might never come back, I hid my face
in my hands an' cried like a baby.
" She was all the world to me. was
Magglo. I took her to me as a child, an"
brought her up, an' 6et my heart on
her; an for her to leave me in my old
days was mighty hard.
" When I got quieted down they began
to comfort me a-sayln' as she might
come back. Ah, mister, if she only had !
I'd have welcomod her, for she was still
my little Maggie, an' I'd ha' loved her as
much a-s ever. But it got to be Winter
an' Spring an' Summer an' on toward
Fall nn' I heard nothin' of her,
' It wasn't much moro than a year
after she'd left when one moniin' a fel
ler came sailing over from the shore with
a telegram for mo. It cam from tho
city, an' it read that if I was to go to
one o' the hospitals there, I'd lind a
girl as would like to see me ; an' it told
me to come quick, too, for she was very
low, perhaps a-dyin".
Yer may know who the girl was ; an
It's likely yer know, too, as I wasn't
long a-gettin' to her. But I wasn't any
too soon. She was lyin' on a cot, an'
when she saw me, it was just all
sho could do to stretch her arms out
to me. so she could nut "em around me
an' press her poor, pale face against
mine. I
" Father,' sho whispered, I went .
back on yer on yer who'd been so good
an' kind to me; an', father, I want yer to
say before I die us you've forgiven
me."
I couldn't say nothin', mister. I just
held hor closer. I held her till they
told me she couldn't speak no more,
an' then I laid her back. It was only
a few minutes after Hiat she lived, but
afore she died she ojH'ned her eyes once
more an' moved her lips. I bent down
to her an' she could jut whisper:
" ' Father, I'm sure yer haven't gone
back ou nio. I'm sure yer forgive nn-.
But father I want yer to forgive him,
too. For father I've forgiven '
" I torgive, her. minter, an' I've trh-d
to forgive him. I'll try again, mister;
I'll try hard for the little girl's sake. I
know as his sin's a-goin' to drive him
ba--k here some time drive him back
that he may no on bis kniss to me an'
tell 'ue how he wrong d h-i- nn' me."
The mini's i.jc-e broke in his emotion.
1 had always l en fond of ln 1
Jake, but after whul ho ha I told mo I
liked him ticttcr than ever. I know
thai bis little girl's ' de.i'.h weighed
heavily on him; and so after that
I got up as many panics as 1
could toi-it the tavern and cheer him
up.
Ono day toward Autumn, two years
afterwar.is, in one of my not infrequent
visits to the tavern. Uncle Jake c illd
me aside and said : Mister. It's get i in
kind o' lonesome for the !;; an' me
down here Winters, an' I guc-s 1 won't
stay here no longer after the Fall. I've
got a house as 1 took over !u li.e village
ashore yonder, near to where the little
girl's buried. The dog an' I want to In
near Maggie, an" if yeril come down off
an' on, we'll bo glad ter see yer,
for It ain't much company we'll be
bavin'."
Well, Uncle Jako took the house
and I did go down there as often as I
Could.
The blazing logs and the singing kettle
seemed particularly cheery one January
night. A fierco wind was howling
around the house. It had boon snowing
all day. but as It grow colder the snow
had stopped, and now thegusts sent icy
particles rattling against the window
puvies.
The dog seemed sleeping jieaeefully
at least he hadn't stirred when Undo
Jake went to the hearth to lift up the
kettle. Tho old man had browed a
punch, and was just raising the glass to
his lii-s, when suddenly S;:msi n sprang
toward one of the windows with a fur
ious bark. As I turned In the direction
in which he sprang I saw what might
have b en an illusion. It vani-hod so
3uickly a man's face, pale, haggard and
riven, pressed against the pane. A
moment later the dog was leaping
against the door. I sprang toward it
and threw it open, letting out the dog,
who remained outside barkii gand howl
ing for half an hour after I hud closed
the door.
I told Uncle Jake that I thought a
man had roen out there, but all ho said
was : ' I guess It's one o" them tramps
as comes around. Samson ain't particu
lar fond of "em. But If the fellow was
cold and wanted a drink why d.dn't ho
knock an' a--k for it decent-like? Sure
he'd ha' got it."
The next morning was bright and
clear and very cold. As the wind
hnd suicided. Uncle Jake projiosed to
go over to tho gravo-y-rd ho hardly
let a 'ay pass without going there.
The graveyard was a little enclosure
a trifle further out of the village than
our house.. As we entcri-d tee gate
tho dog suddenly darted f.irward
Iwrklng furiously as he bad the night
before. Following him hastily -vo saw
what he was barking at. A thin, white
hand had cl:tsped the headstone, and
over the grave lay, face downwards, the
body of a man.
Uncle Jake grasped me and held
me tuick a moment. Then we tried to
loose the hand. But it was clasped so
firmly that we could hardly draw it
from the stone. At last it fell, and
we turned the body over. I saw the
same pale, haggard, driven face that
was pressed against the window the
night Ix-fore.
Mister," said Uncle Jake solemnly,
" he s come back. An' an' I think I've
forgiven him, as the little girl asked me
for to do.
Tbe Cave of iVar anil Peace,
Away down in the southwest of Nevada
there Is a remarkable cave In the 6ide of
the mountains. Nar by a little rill of
water tours down the slope, soon to le
swallowed up by the thirsty soil. The
broken-off shafts of arrows are to lit
seen sticking in the soft rock that con
stitutes the roof of the cathedral-like
dome.
It is said that many years ago a party
of the race of bhoshones were driven
into this cave by their hereditary ene
mies, the I'iutes. Tneir defence was so
stubborn that the l'iutes pro pose 1 a
eace, and in this cave the council was
called, and the peace made was to last
so long as a single arrow remained Im
bedded in the rock overhead.
Churning :x inordinary.
The Danbury News is responsible for
the story that a mouse fell into a bowl
of cream the other night, and in Its ef
forts to keep afloat churned the cream
into butter, ou which It stood and
climbed out.
This is claimed to be true because the
mouse left a trail cf butter all uloLg the
clean pantry 6helf.
APPETIZER.
Drinking Cider for a Wager.
"When Sena tor Teller and Judge Joslyn
were in the Interior Department, I ujed
to doa thriving business," said a Wash
ington ci ler mill man.
"Did th'eydiink much?" was asked.
"Drink muchl" ret lied the cider
dealer, "well, you ou,jht to have soon
them.
"Secretary Teller would sit on thai
bench and let a quart down In ten min
utes. He was fond of a companion
and if it was Judge Jo.-yln who sat With
him I was sure to s II throo quarts.
"I remember Judg Josyln coming In
with an Illinois farmer. Evidently the
judge had been toasting of his clder
driuking propemf ities, and a wager was
made on which could dtink tbe mor-t.
Let us begin on a quart bottle
each," said tho Judge.
"The men sat down and the bottlea
were opened. Joslyn liked It a li: tie
sharp. I was busy at tho time of the
vi-sit. but In an almost lnneditlo length
of time I heard Joslyn say to tho boy:
" 'Two more bottles.'
"Ten mlr- tes elapse 1 and I heard that
same voice :
Two more bottles, please.'
" The farmer piote-ted, and offered to
pay for the four quarts if the Judge
would declare it a diawand say nothing
. about it.
" Josl .n would not do It and repeated
tbe order.
" I looked at him and he winked a
wicked wink.
The farmer was a big stout fellow
and dr.-.nk his fifth pint at the end of
abouttweiity-flveiulr.iites from the start
Then he raUed up, walked over to the
counter, nnd, slq j !ng the pay into my
hand, requited n.o to tell the Judge
who was talking to some one that he
hud stepped out fit the back door and
would ret jiu iu a moment.
"1 iner saw that man aaln and I
don't b.-iieve J-rl) ii has.
" Tho J o iftu .!tiir:k iiis thiid quart bo
fore he i.ott.:.; I the a c::ee of his friend,
and after Wal'l::g liLlo tliuo for tho
farmer, left, dcciai.ug he had scarc-.ly
begun."
A It iiu'ir iruut Still oh.
" Endurin' of ti.e war" It was not safe
In Kentucky f-r Southern sympathizers
to rcioic over Soulhci li u. esses.
A certain ol : "sc-c u ' fioni the hills
cf 1 ale's creek, lu M i iei n county, had
been freque.illy a lino, laln-d by Judgo
Turner of Richmond, Kentucky, that if
he wu- not mote cautious he would land
In Camp Chu.se or bono- other Noi thorn
prison.
One day tho Judge obs rved his old
friend glancing anxiously Into his office
as h - passed and repa--.He-l the iloor.
Culling him in, the Judge asked him
Vihal k.is Uiu maltel'.
"Well." said the old man, "Jcdo, if
you'd lock yer door 1 11 t. II you."
Aft r u .suring himself thut lucre wero
HO li.-'emTs iio proceeded :
"J. lge, 1 lii-iii :i the Roblls an' the
Yankeus his hadumus'ci li lit. As I
heui. it, i ho RcbiU ami t ie Yankees
they niut aw iy di-wn on Lie Missis
sippi liver, an i they lit thivc d..y.- in and
three days out, an' the ecu uv tno tiiiid
day cum John C Bracken: i i ;ge, Ken
tucky's uold son, an' axe ; lur tho pnv
erlie uv the fiei' fui lifte.-n ininits, an'
Jelge they i say he slew cr liuudeid
thousand uv iu." Country.
hwirlurM "tVa.tcd ou I lie IVrarrt Air.
Two colored women weto conversing,
about a neig'ibor.
' l'te gwmter hnb da law on dat n g
gah." "Dat will only mnke it wuss. Why
don't you go ober dar and cuss her
for all she am wuff?"
" I'ee bound to hab do law on her, be
kase dars no satisfacshun In cussln'
her?"
" Why ain't dar no satisfaction In cuss
ln' her."
" Beiase she has done los' her hear
In. 1 lias been cussln her steady for
last six niu-.fs, nnd I t'i.ln't find out t.U
yis'erday dat she lo-t hor hearin' befoah
sho was horned . IVe bo:ii ter hab da
law on her or sc.iM hor, which eber am
de wussest." Texas Sittings.
1'rom the ltoai dlug-IIonae.
"I seo," said Mr. Gruff, drawing a
long but almost invisible something
from tho pluio of bu.ter, " 1 sec that Dr.
Taylor, the micr-.itcopist of the Agricul
tural Department at Washing' on, is pho
tographing butter and butter. no, so tiiat
ho can tell them upart."
"Is he?" asked Mrs. Saven, the land
lady. " Yes, ho Is, and It occurs to me, Mrs.
Saven, that it might be well to tako your
bullcr upstairs and comb I s hair up
nice and smooth, so that it will i;pjoar
presentable If he should corxio hero to
tako Its"
Mr. Gruff Is living at a hotol now,
Chicago News.
Riding a Tnaa llrourho.
Dr. Ho mes says that "on horseback
a man's system becomes clarified, be
cause ids liver goes up and down like
the handle of a churn."
The doctor has evidently taken a deck
passage upon a Texas broncho some' line
during his existence, but is diMidcut
about telling the whole truth.
Liver, lights, stomach, lung, heart,
and even ico:, go t:p and Io-.vii, and if
a man's sy teni is not clarified a purl ion
of it is g nei'ally scarified, and w hen tho
ojeiatioii is concluded he invariably ue
knowldges that he is " well off.' 1 la
tjnia (Texas) Argus.
It Should Have Stayed.
An example of nineteenth century rus
ticity :
Farmer : "I tell you I 6eod the thing
last ulght right up there in the sky ! It
was a comit. I know them things whoa
I seo 'em."
Farmer's Wife : "What time did yoa
see it John?"
Farmer : " Hef pest nine, noar's I could
tell. But the strangest of all. Maria,
was. the fact that when I got up tala
morning I couldn't sw tno darned thing
nowhere." N. Y. Star.
Trvatlug the I'o.-t Kindly.
The poem published this week is not
thus rendered Immortal by reason of its
Intrinsic m rits, but out of consideration,
for its author.
Had the verses not been published tha
writer might have considciei himself a
poet and somoday been lmpt lie I to com
mit a grou'er inl luity. As It is, somo
IsKly wiii now kill htm ami prevent the
Iossibillty of a r-p -tiiion of tho offense.
Miuiitouliu (Canada) Expositor.
Ioiug Very Welt.
"Look here, Jake." said a gentleman
to his Teutonic friend, "you shouldn't
keep your children cnied tip in this
close tenement ail summer. A few
weeks In the country would do them
a world of j. ood and give them a fine ap
petite." " Abbetlte, mine frieni !" said Jake In
amazement. "Mine Gelt! you should
see de appetite dey have got ulready.""
A Itoyal Milliner. ;
Rumor has it that the Pri:.ss
of Wales is ni eminent y clever milliner,
Blid Hives Ijuishinir touches lo nil her
I own Udinetn Hitd hats.