i I
Jl
The larre and reliable strealatle ei the Ci
rniR ooromendu ft te toe favornnle coa
aideratlon of adrertieere. bnn favors will be !
ertad at th folkiwlnr low rate : -waa
-?.- vya
1 lneh. II tine. ........
1 S months, ......
1 " 8 months
1 ' 1 year
t months
1 1 year
' 6 month!
8 1 year
corn 8 monthi
tij t month.
H " 1 year
' 3 months ...
' 1 year
vr
t.$
."
J
VI
Mjm
l.ne
Vm
Me
f fir
I ..! . I - " 'I' T (
, ( n"t f : ! " 'h'n i n ' rtli..
If no' t-i-.l w r tiin r . .. jrnr .
do
i rcn
rl . . ,,,
an an
TB.On
aj.lif-nai i-
t- vr l! t.
Fastness Items, f ret tnsertinn lo. par line ; eaoh
"nheeqnent lovertlon ftc. per line.
AdtrtntrtraUir ! and Ecator'l !otl9s..... t HI
A ullur'i Notice . 1 a
StnT and glmllar Notice ........ e
IV Rrtoiutivn or rtfr4inc of a vnwra'W.
or Bocirtv J rmnwiivtifNmi 'mwmd e cil aft i
finn re or t vialtrr of Irmitrd rin4rUMlWm
mm e mw ro at arfvprflvrmitil!.
,r-ni. nr.1
e in ! tn tr '
tin -t u -.t .- I
J.
AS30N. Kd.toi and Publisher.
'IS IS A VK1SH1N WHOM TIB TRUTH M1I1S PBSS, ARB ALL ABK SLATK8 BB8IDK-'
81. SO and postage per vear. In advance.
F'iitC" '"' h '',-,;,tf ";,"-'--i 'r,"n
.r N'o'ie - t.'Hff -In other JT'-iU
. . . on l
vUmf, vT
EBENSBURG, PA.. FRIDAY, MARCH 11, ISS7.
NUMBER 8.
Jon
raivTiva of all kind neatly and exMdlt-
oajly executed at lewett price
Dea'tyov terrat
it.
111 5l Pli li IT I M
. r . a. .aCaa.
ptn vv w 'yiyvvw
r 'o
BOOKS, THREE
V sr.- r-uKichcii in nt rtnphlt
- ;i i ( .itr. t f ami tie tn.
fn rUl bouo.l form these bo' kn would
...... t.t. .r,.T .rit-nnf n vi.il.c nl
ll ' 'it.lr 0f a)1 , .(
it li-t-i..fM- l.iiirr!n..Tr.
rmiL. By W. A. PlT.
N'i nn. t an ftfforil to
. i h r.'ntntli. Ium
' I . ir..'r.
- t t!tir
. 1 j.,.
I riwSrl.
4 ( l-rt!in nf thIIMor n.r-iiij-il
tlifni wrtttfli ! ..-tu.l
A rr.'.tln of hin- .r-tii
" . I'l lu 1'ft'linf lutiuy
(1 braifffw A Novel. By
1 l.- V
Nor.l R, M. T r,tHA
rrn. A B y 3.1 m. J a K l. ArgTIW.
1rV-r
aA l .-lit.;
m.1 ' ' ' '
r-"i;
nt II '
mv f.tr rr 'hr. ahove hooks hj- mall poat-paiit upon reirt of only Tvrrlrf letiuiinTrrn for
. .'.'"V4 ' "n"l lh eo-'re hit (i h..-k. . t-.r nc. the eDtir. ht m-l ni Ix.arda
r i are the cheapest h.Hk. eT.r put.l.lie.l an.l guaranteed worth t'iree timet the
r' :n .s.i -ii lion (TKirjnrr.l nr mnnry rrrundrtt. Pxtaf;e taroi s tak.'D fer f rai tion of a dollar,
it.. , re rfr to any newso&oer Dtihlih.1 tn New Tork. Iikiwi. to rh romtooj-.-i l tr.nr-.ii
Al
Cnorial n f f r I To every one R-ti'lirw
Cfitiviui w extra eti
tiartr. eirher
ler
. Or
.r-e?e.l t.y yruraU from arat&l..crue vthieh
u .--.iimn luu.iraiaa uterary cat -r. lor one
a. a. a. r-iui,
WE WANT 5,000 "IORE HOOK
AGEitllOSELLOtU WKiV UOUK.
i
Secret8
S. T00DTA2D, lata
fP.O.Setc:the::r;.
or ma
POST-CFTICE
DEPARTMENT.
A 'rw C '"K Jorr Ptbusihd hy an offlntsJ of
( i; 15 ye r' ripenetire in the Sverot Service, In
f HMrtu:1ceDt Kuyal Oetayo Volnm of oyer 600
Prtft-Mi an 1 ..Antly lilaatrated by the beat artiau in
Ue COQTlETT w '.lh
iOO SI PEI1B F.!NCR AT1VOS.
A tnr.i.iT.s rea-.-iril of dete. tion In the II. S. Pnt-r-'ye
Ii-!.vtrnnt ; embrae:ng ekeu-heaof Wnwier
fj. Fot-:flce In-peetors in the Tietec-
t-s, for- -tit, aail ( uptnre of Kobborn of the U. 3.
Ya. ; t-A'i Uier wi.h a complete description of the
. .;5',j.i anrl emripJicated aintrivances of the
' b . ! :':arupulti to dattraad tUo pabhc ; alto
i-.- acciinrtr nf the
f tmirs STAIl IIOITE FR UD8,
:.".!. cti the iu'.V had entire charge of Uie pro
; iri'cn of the evi Uinco for the eoyernment.
AGENTS WANTED. -.53
In ft nj toirn there are Poatmaiters, Morch.uit!",
y-j-i.ai c, Firmrre, Vrfifeaaional Men. ami huu
, ; rf pe.pla who fi7 t, qli'l to g.t tli thrilling
l-ti. it Ijinovr h&lE an a;ipr!ieil ea.e: it s4ui at
, f.i nil. y.Ti nl Wometi Agr.ts niMKin from
o .) J . i0 a month evJy. We wnt an Btvat in
i --t . - i:ehip m theU. S. ami Cnna.la. T"W
!. r;'inrtl o that AM I'Ll'.N with Ui: piie-
'T .noi ilmz book, nan becono-t firtyttul AnrU
Xj t"er.va fWc:j:T-er. Aenia arc meetink;
'.; "iu;ai-e . fucoa. lT".r Listanre no hir-t
r:- v, an we rive Sjxnal Term to vrv Fivi'iW.
i-.-iotnwr, we ivo you the excl'islre ale of this
Id territory aasifrstyi yon. Write for rmr lnrye
i.. -trated Ciraiars eor'tainin full particuinra.
5 ;tcl T Trnu to Aeeiite, etc., s-int free to all. Ad
immediately uie FoM'ahera,
V INTER & CO., SPRINfi FIELD, MASS.
Formerly of Hartford, Conn.
Standard Waoa
0
KAjrcracTunxR or
I?riilCS, SPItlNalJ WAGOXS,
T-s-o-vlieelsi Vill.s Tiaetcrs,
A.T3 TWO A1TD 7HRB3 SrRITJJ rnTT0:;3.
MLHDLLAND BUCK BOARD, No. 2U
Th Ma!hoKani! Pprir.aido away T-iti SIIr
"A KS. 51fK8PRIN;. HOI) Y-I.Of PS a: I
ri Rl N't, HA US ; are aultabla for r'th- r city r
toitiiiry nmii-, and eu;r?rior to alt tiers n-
Lt ue for ;dint, pteaxure c Lu- - v l-i-c;n
of ui.y desuription. Senjfor catu. :uo u:. I
Etaadard Wagon Ca, Cinciniati, 0.
PTnn-a ia romp..sed wholly of nn-
it.-.-. ,,, t otahie imr-.vliptiu.parh cue
f yriiich :a aiv.iowl.' ! -j1 by the ineli
: .1 itr .V.oTi t- he tne i n potent r all
'.h htTLial reTied:e ki.i-.tn t. murtloal
j.tn e. Itfiroa vyithout ( .; '. ptoi-v case oi
I Hiranfc Tuf-arrb C nnnniptlon.
nral2-ia. Chronic Khnm:i-
tiitn, llair-tL Stono in tli
Itlaiider, righfa lUaNC, !
ppptla, I.trpr Omplaint anl
Diseases of the Momatbt
r
II your Iiriiyeigt Is out of onrpamph-t-n
nn th.; ' i .i of Life,"' or if y.mi are
''r ::2 und a diaea" not men'-ioni d
1 it or i-i t.'icse a iverriKernonu, ad lresH
- p-.jprietor'a, S. B. iiartmaa k o., Co
o.bn, oiiiu. (So. 4.)
MANALIN
pol tl rely
mi''" t'oiist;-
ait..-i. pe au-1 l'i'i.-rh..i'. J'o.J by all
Is-n. )ne dollnr i t tottle sixfor
Iiiiwtions iu hniri.rii and (Jt-rmau.
v T y ppnlftx faTonto fnr rfiwlnf
-V" j ff-ra. nj i-rAVe-rit.r.or LmnrtnitT.
i'L MH'.n t i. M-a p. trt- tiiv
r f jiiir.?. nd 1 .irfo .
- VV- "IT..! ft .)or I .r- t.r .lura.
i ' "Hfen lure yon ran nsf,
' 1 - I '-- ntir.- known t-r rr.-iui lion. 16
-v r-..;s. anti R:i .iivrTlrr of the FMntah,
- t , f itt-r, K it:;.-f I. :iJia y 'r.in aaJ
: ; ..inl. Tut f.i-Llo ; nl m nfc, F?rr:f
. ---I fii.-njM-, und iA.i-w.Iy tiiiftinff t wnj
.il u. nj: .vav w rv-ov-r their heafth ty
,y pjaRjcnt a T'u;, but 4-Ii.y f Aab-
it in tluae. Sold by aU ArugiMta in
DERCORf.S
r- I"-r". qrk-kavA atad tteet cure for Oomii,
a-r Slol, ( alluawM, Hind rstttelr ftir
f. fty.pe.JI vrun (ilvmnotrixilile. Makes th
r- if'ie. l!tti'lr.-nrna curra when ev.rythiaa;
-i l hy LirvJfrurt, at 14c H isoo.t X Cm., N. Y.
: r
t .
AH l-Ijid:e and gentlerfen Inrltyer
t' IJ t
i 10 lave light work t their own
' 4 a dav can be eal!r made;
III, rr...l . ... . i
ne r 'r Work and Inrnleh fteady em-
i . rr. who stamp. ( Kun.i
l.l)MIlav oii t . I.
at
Co,
i
CENTS EACH.
form, mmy of thm hn.1oly !llutrte.l, n.1 n are
I; .t urul if you i!. twl riud t.i-r;n Kimr t ht Toa
ctut each. Kaeli book m mnu lrtr in it If :
Out nTth. rn. A Rntl, By Tl A i '-T.
AkhiIiu. IIUtnrT. AN...!. H UtRituT Rini'NT.
Thf Mor.lcl furin Myatrry. A N iv-l. By Wn.aia
- i i si. J.in-t' nt'd.
Tht- l.n.t uftbe UattlTen. A Novel. By Wlmt Mrt.ccs.
IU...I ,-. i.
A ! lol ITonH. A Nov.T. By A nthr of IV.-. Unrflf.'
nl of the lliplh AX-l. H.j it-r..T.
'1 'i T:.Tnntith Adrentarv mf m MIILmmlil- A Nnnl.
Pt I -I- - 1 i II .
I I) t lit' llt:l'-uv AN-iT-l. Bv tFT Crrif. Rt.
'I (if lilt- t, A.lilry. A N.'v.-I. r. Husiit Wmo.
M ir l r... N ..-1. My W n K tr r . Ms ; r r1,tt JL
M-r. I!t-t r than li-uth. A N.vrl. 1 tl. iiiimr o(
I'-- t r ,.. i
.irrl '. ':t1. A -vrl. Br ll, i
T Kntnl I .. N- ... Bv A .
A hui!..- .mi i ... Tltro.lt.tl.l. A N--TSl-1
nr..' .!' nr. . A N. B
pr4
. H T.
V r,,r.t
Tlte lllit'ht'urd K.'iif.t. A Nov.l.
Qii.'n Amonf.t Women. A Noy.l.
By the .mhor of
" i ' . in rti--
The i ntnl Marrlftse. A N. v.l By M M T PtiDnon.
A I'lilc ..1' Mn. A.N.-.t. t 1.. Hisiit W-,.,it.
A llri.laj.. of l.v& A N .vt. liy null or ..f II " Thorns1
A I'aM.ltf Crime. A v - . -I. Ky " I t. T --i
Inieli-ilffl lfult.. AN -.-1. Bj.uth.r-il- II. . l-irTi.
'I he K nlirht.brlilfjvi Mi.liry. A Nuvcl. Uy '...
Kr.; lO.i.ri-I.
HViMi'd anfl lrlel. A ov.l. B.snlhArof "fTom..
A r'.irtum- lliint-r. A N.v.l. B lttrTii"vi. Itft.
Ain-mic hie Uulnft, A N vel. II. Mi.o'k- u lll. Hi
KtMe l.udaa A Novelette. By Mt. Bb.t Wood.
fortliefnllr(l.r(of bookiannbove. we i lnl . w.thout
eitty cents1 worth of
be Imperlnl finned Piaea
will be P'nt you. or The Pf.ule'i Hume JournaL
year A n tirnerii n led bv r.
A ?1 order Ailed by return mail.
runuit'r, no. a A m-a riaee, Jew a ork.
cknt enre enythina bnt Rhenmatism. hat It cnrel
that every time. It cured
Sam'l. BfRNS. Ijiiira-ter. lJa.
Mk Hartmsn. Sr . rHoomshtirir. Pa.
Mm. Hit. R II Robinbon Stnttnton. Va.
MttH. Wm. Mrn.iBil. l-.UI Wvhe St., Phila l-lphia.
J f N FWTos. Camden. N J
Mh Mary C'ABRoy, M.Kirwatown, N. J.
I'BANZ MAKI.. Mnurh fhtit-k Pa.
lI'.TKKY BOX
fca
RUSSIAN"
BAS BOTH
mat
I TRAIIE 31 ARKS tt
Si(. tTl'RK CW
AND
lfl"t.emil" -a.llt .nt (hUSiaT.
BAture mil Jvh i ra-1 Hark. rare
rn:uc
per tax.
For
1 i-'e mf- rmit on. I'ricripiive- I'tim-
l-liiet. w.th t.-l:inorr:il.H, lrrc
Fureal" t y ail lrimiii. If one or the rher i
Cot in w.:tion to ftirn!-h it to jou. do not le? fp
euatl-d to t-akc auytht.-m el, Voit arply direct to thu
Of titral Air. nt, PKAK.I.X.I Ii RRIK tV .
Hl tV fil .laJ-kft yitrertt fhiliidelphia.
mm
H TxJ
i?n-J m Af,r For"
El fr'AatJij. .'i. , eiptnenije in the
11 gi -IHi.I'ii''' rreoaration more
i f. -- : . ... u
I fl i-l Tl a ...... .-i.c iiiiii'iiyu
iii'iTjrano arriirntion. i-.r pntenta in
' tne t n:t-M: Mate, inn roreian conn.
a pi.b'ishera of the iM-TJtifld
n continue (o art as unhcitorri
'nt. m-si, r(ie-nifirkt. cory-ef.-..
f.r t h rnir i St.tii. and
to i-'nin pf.t.-nti in Canmla. Krikjlnnf!. France,
e;r:uany, and a'l othr c-'intri.- Tiieir xpri
nc is uiie jiiated and their facilities am unaur-jia-fj.
lrs wiTT anil necifirations pr-rar"1 and fl1vi
In tit Hatjr.t rtirft on t'riort. rot ire. Terms very
na S "o charge for eummatioaof molla
or tirM-w nn A.lvu e by m.-.il fre
raT.-.i r,tn-T1 trouifh M-inn -tCrt arenotietvl
Inthr. Sf IKVTl FlC IKKI A, which bac
trsw li-f.'M circ'.iat,.(n and tni iiiit inluntial
n-v-jm; r of t kind inMih,-d in the world,
'i tit r.i'vip'agui of sut-h a iut;co every pa teuton
aniT'tnruli
T.i . - iarj.' an-l sjen.l iiln-,.ra''pd ntTpaprr
p'ili'i"d WT.KIi UVm ft.'-' a jrar. and i
ad nit'fd ro b t.i- - -1 paper devote-i to rienc.
"I'ht:1 '. i n v-n t :nr . mui nt?rin jr works. anl
c.'hfT alo,art.ueni of indu-trial proaresn. pnb
l!:d in in .-n';r. It fon'ain th nama of
ad patent,; and t .t ' nf ver invention patented
irh w--k. Trv it f nr muntbs for one dollar.
i"d by ail ny"wtdr-alrT..
If you bnve an mr-nt:on to patnt writw to
Mann A 'o., publi'hT of S'Jientitio Amanoaa,
-CI Hroadwftv, Nsw York.
Uaadbook about pa Lents mailed fro.
B. J. LYNCH,
UXDBHTAKKR,
And Manufacturer and Dealer In
HOME AND CITY MADE
FURNITURE!
; mm and mm suits,
LOUNGES, BEDSTEADS,
TABLES, CHAIRS,
at tresses, &c.
1G03 ELEVENTH AVEXUE
Hetweon lClh and 17th Sts.,
i, rr o o is" , i .
'itlzens ol f'amhrla rourtty and all others
wishinn to purrhae honest W KM ITl RE, Ac. at
honest price are repe-tnilly Invited to nlvt ne a
rail hefore tuiytnv; elsewhere, as we are renudent
that we rnn meet every want and please every
taste. Prices the very lowest.
Altoona. April 18, 180.-tf.
PATENTS
Obtained and all PA TFXT TilSlSSSni
tended to for SI 01) ERA TK FEES.
Our Aire is opposite the IT. s. Patent Of
fice, and we can obtain Patents in less time
than those remote from WASTTIXQ T02f.
Sent! MODEL OR DRAWING. We ad
vi.ie as to patentability free of rharee : and
we nuke ,YO CHARGE UXLESS rATEA'T
IS SECURED.
We refer, here, to the Postmaster, the
Supt, of Monev Order Div., and to officials
of the U. S. Patent Office. For circular, ad
vice, terms and references to actual clients
In your own State or County,, write to
c. yy. rxow & cp.,
Ip. I'm -n( ifTtre. Haiibiiiftnn, I '.
PIA AtO-I' 0 1TTE8.
1 NEUT'AI.LKD IN
Tone, Tonc&.?orInnaBs!iip & Bnrajnity.
TT1I.I.I4M KABK ate C
.-. 2- and Joi W-t PuUlmore fttt-i
... Uitlflh Av nuo, N"i iv Vo.-k.
u. Iruora
DRAW- POKER
i- .. v, 11: F.;l u:a;;o-tJ r-"Kl ni;iiir..r i
. .-. nr..- oettv. ti a wintiir.i.' and losing
... . , ; titn-.i. .'a.wii;C w hy Tl ilnhittlallv
i ...t stur.i. tu.triv v a- u.-me-'f-;...r
. i-.rk .' ..: Shi Kt."t.rt -' . . .ma-
.., .. . ,1 1.-1' 1 liT'v '-et;'v tA
: r . -.:!. r'.-oliiiii.!,: I-J., ..i....:.i ia,.
TITflNTFTs For our Kellahle Nnrtory
Wflll 1 Ail stock, en Salary or Commis
sion. Write for trrrr s, enclctng stamp fo-reply.
Na experience need! .S. Q 11 TQTVTTfO
A. MtHMHKR it t o Nor- OXaIjXjOIUIjII
serymen, Koohester. '.T.
LAH1FS WASTrn-To work for as at
their own homes. 7 and SIO per" week
can be easily mede ; no ranyaasing : faseln
atlna: and atea.iy employment. Particulars
and .ample nf the work sent for stamp. Address
HOME MT'O CO., P. V. Box 1918, Boston, Waas.
ft-a, J ; r,."- iiaaiiaaal--it'i :, ,TC
;v HEUMATISn,
at rai.
I'f Ar:;;:-r
Kr vy C3 eir
SW0BDH3H AND SHARK.
An Exrittnt; Tale of the Tep Blue Seat.
" What etranpo thlna; h&a com
athwart my hawser in the last
tiozen years?" rnusod Capt. Carnea
of the brig Mary, as he shifted his
quid.
" Well, I rntfrht toll you cf a bit of
adrenturo that happened to my Tessel
one day among the Windward Islands
of the Caribbean Sea.
" We were lust to tho east of the
proup. and alvout fifteen miles away,
when there came a d'iad calm. The sea
rras like a mill pond, and the Bun beat
down like a ball of fire.
" Or.ii of the men, whorras aloft for
something, discovered large shark
prowling around the brig, and I
-avo the men permission to bait for
him.
" They baited s. hook and tempted
him, tut he would not even small of
the pork. He was a ftraight-out man
eatei, and he wanted eallor or
nothing.
" He made two or three circuit
about the vesael, his dorsal fin allowing
above water,and he then 6ettled down
on our port quarter, about twenty feet
away, and kept his eyoa fastened
on the heads of the men above the
rail.
" Well, plr, there ws something bo
aggravating in that shark eettling down
there, aa if determined to stay until
some of us tumbled overboard,
that we all made up our minds
to drive him away after some
fashion.
" We had a harpoon aboard, and
one of the men used It to give tho fish
several l ad ga."hep, brt after each wound
he'd make a circuit and como back to
the old spot. You may rip a shark from
stem tn stern and bo won't seem to mind
the hurt.
" Py and by the men got so hot that
they asked leave to man tho boat and
either kill tho grim devil or drive him
awjy,
" I consented, and a snilor named
Williams scrambled Into the yawl as
she swung at the davits to cast off when
sh' was down. Tho falls had scarcoly
bcun manned when one of them
parted, and the boat dropped etern
down.
" The pallor was pitched ten feet
away, and as he struck the water there
ai a yell from every man on the brig,
lie pitched right at the shark, and
we exptcted to see him grabbed up In a
second.
Indeed, we all saw the fish whirl
over and make a rush, but there was
nljo a scroti. I rush, and aa tho sailor
s-.vam alongside and soized a rope a
t'-irible cor.il -at began in tho water.
Wo knew that one of tho fighters was
the shark, but it was minutes before
we mado out that the other was a
sworilflsh.
" I calculate that rumpus lasted all of
fifteen minutes.
" They fought on the surface and
under it. t'n-v c rclnd and came back,
they wel l u: d.-r the bri p.nd aro'ind
h'r, ami tv sea vaa churned to perfect
fo.-'.rn n!l tin- time.
"The ;.Pi:r finally ended by the shark
turning bf'.iy up, a. -4 dead as a hammer,
and I gm-s there wasn't a foot of him
v hii-h hadn't felt a thrust of the sword.
He I l-d like a stuck hog, and was only
fairly th-ad when the swordflsh took a
run f r the brig.
lit? 1 in kod off about fifty feet and
enme full tilt, and, as true as I'm sit
ting here, mado her shiver as he
struck. Thnt sword of his struck good
oak plank, sheathed with copper, but
nothing stopped it until It showed for
six inches in the hold. We saw him as
he backed off, and knew that he had
lost his weapon.
' It was a terrible hurt, and when a
breeze sprang up and filled our sails he
was still ilounilnring around tho shark's
body, seeming to have lost his compass
points altogether.
" On the way down to Trinidad the
brig made considerable water, and when
we came to unload tier cargo wo found
the sword sticking into her as I have
told you.
" A portion of It was afterward car
ried to Poston, and is probably there
yet."
lTlth Some London Wit.
One evening Artemus Ward and I, says
Howard Paul, in some rotniriseewes of
the London Savage Club in tho New
York World, were urging Pyron to go to
the United States.
Artemus was praising the oysters, ter
rapin, and rye whisky of his native land,
and I incidentally remarked that he
would en large his sphere of observation
If he made the voyage.
" In p"int of fact," said I, "you'd find
new types, fresh dramatic combinations,
unused ni.tlerial ;" and I concluded by
remarking in a perfunctory manner,
" F.very dramatist should go to Amer
ica." Pyron listened attentively and merrily
replied :
"'Pon my soul, I can't see the great
pull In going to America. Shakspere
didn't go to America, and he made quito
a name as a playwright."
Exit Pyron.
Henry S. Leigh, tho author of the
"Carols of Cockayne," and endless
clever rers de Snrit-te in the comic period
icals of the day, was a quaint-looking.
Ill-dressed man who had a tooth out in
front, which gave his mouth an odd ex
pression, and his nose had a rubicund
tint.
One day a member brought into the
club a strange old gentlemnn, vidontly
an Oriental, who wore a pink turban,
and whoso complexion suggested parch
ment. He mumbled In some foreign tongue
unknown to us all.
Harry Leigh spotted the old man, and,
being a linguist, pricked up his critical
ears.
" What language Is he worrying?" I
asked.
" I'm ble.st If I know," retorted Leigh.
" It must be gum Arabic."
It was James All-ery who told Arthur
Matthison. a discontented, peppery Mem
ber, ' tb.it if In1 ever went to Heaven
he'd kick up a row w.th tin; angels be
cause his halo didn't fit him."
And one day. when a bankrupt man
ager who had struggled against bad
busine-s catno into the club rr
nouiu-ed that ail his chairs and benches
had been seized, Albery dryly ob
served :
I'm certain that Is tho first time in
the history of his theater when his seats
were all taken."
Frank Purnand. the editor of Punch,
was brou-jM into the club one night by
W. S. OiUiert, and there was a gay spirit
abroad after the Saturday dinner.
In the course of conversation Gilbert
said :
"Purnand, I suppose you receive
quantities of funny copy from outsldo
people, don't you?"
Purnand was off hl9 guard and replied,
"Lots."
Gilbert's hard faco relaxed a little as
he added :
Why tho deuce don't you put some
Of it in Punch then?"
The laugh was certainly on tho side of
the librettist.
j Cnewinu Oom.
Two medical Journals are fignting oyer
chewing gum. One thlnka It preserves
the teeth, developed the gums, and should
( be encouraged ; the other points out the
I Injurious draught upon tho salivary
glands and digestive organs, anrl Its
crushing effect upon fexaiid loTcllness. M
SUGGESTIVE IIGUEES.
Snleldea In Relation to A(, Sea, Seskaoa
and Occupation.
It appears that the deaths registered
in the 26 years 1853-83 in England and
AVales as due to suicide were 42,630,
and in the proportion of 72 annually per
million persons living.
The suicide rate Increases rapidly
with age until after middle life, but
In the more advanced age periods again
diminishes. The maximum rate Is In
the 55 65 years period, when It
reaches 251 per million persons
living.
At all age periods, with one exception,
the male rate Li far higher than the
female, and the difference between them
increases with age. The one exceptional
period is the 15-20 years period, when
the female rate is slightly the higher.
At this same period the female death
rate and lunacy-rate are also excep
tionally abovo the male rates.
Taking all ages together, out of equal
numbers living and In the same age
distribution, the male suicides are
to the female suicides as 267 to
100.
The occupations In which the snlclde
rates are lowest are those which imply
rough manual labor carried on mostly
out of doors, and by men who are com
paratively uneducated, such as miners,
quarrymen, shipwrights, fishermen,
gardeners, laborers cf all kinds, brick
layers and masons.
The occupations with the highest
sulclde-ratos are those which are
sedentary and carried on by highly
educated men, as the learned profu
sions, and also such as notoriously
lead to Intemperance, as those of
innkeepers.
Between the two extremes come
farmers, a&opkeepera, and town
artisans.
Tables are given of the rates In a
number of selected occupations ; and
some of these e. g., those of soldiers
and farmers are subjected to special
examination.
As regards farmers It was shown that
their suicides were nearly doubled in
the two years 1879-80, when agricultural
distress was most acute ; and that
simultaneously with this rise In their
suicide-rate there was a corresponding
rise in thoir registered bankrupt
cies. It Is phown that the amount of
men In different occupations varies to
a considerable extent with tho lunacy
rates and with the general death-rates,
tho same causes that conduce to
Insanity and to general unhealthi
ness also conducing to self-destruction.
It is also shown that the amount of
suicides varies very definitely with the
seasons, forming a regular annual curve
of which the minumuiu is in December,
and the maximum in June.
The commonest method of suicide Is
hanging ; then follow, in order, drowning,
cut or stab, poison, gunshot.
Women, however, select drowning
before hanging, and poison before cut
or stab. Women also differ from men
in selection of poisons, men choosing
painless and sure prepnrations, whilo
women take any poison that is at hand
Indifferently.
The choice of method Is also affected
by age. the young showing a comparative
proferenea for drowning, poison and
gunshot; and by occupation, men UHing
preferentially the instruments of their
crafts;and fy season, drowning being
avoided in the cold months. London
Times.
rEIGET-ELAyOHED.
How His Hair Became TThlte.
" Toung man to have white hair? Top
that's so. I'm Just turning forty, which 1;
too young to have it so naturally. Hov
did it happen? Well, I don't mind tellinj
you, although the experience was a pain
ful one to me, and always makes mi
shudder when I think of It.
' I was in Pston when I was a younj
man that was about twenty and '.
wanted to call upon a friend of mine whr
had an ofiico in one of the Washingtoi
street blocks. It Hvas about six stone
high, and I found that the room I had tt
visit was in the fourth story.
" I stepped into the elevator, which,
by the way, was not provided with sc
many improvements and safeguards a.'
at present. A gentleman got on to go uj
and I followed him. lie dexterotisK
started t ' e t liing and soon stopped it one
story higher and stepped out, leaving mt
all alone.
" I had never been on one of them be
fore, but rotieing thomanner in which it
was started, gave the wire a pull and was
conscious of being slowly taken upward.
One, two stories were passed and I
caught a glance of the busy clerks in the
offices, and then I reached for the wire to
stop at the next story.
I gave a slight pull. It did not stop;
I pulled again still harder, but the speed
only seemed to increase. I was now just
past the fourth floor and rapidlv nearing
the fifth. I pulled again, but still the
thing ket on.
"I could hear the ominous rumbling
of tho machinery overhead. Would the
thing never stop, I thought, or was I to
to be hurled to dejith or crushed to
nothing by the deadly cogs overhead?
"Past the sixth lloor I went, and it
commenced to grow darker. The ma
chinery sounded louder, and I could
almost see it from the lightthat struggled
through the dingy loft window. I tried
to cry out but my voice failed mo.
" I determined to make one more effort,
and a'-cordingly, reaching out in the
dark, I encountered a wiro, and yanked
it with force enough it would seem, to
break it. Still upwards I groped further,
and found another, and this time with
both hands I pulled for dear life.
" Thank heaven I The elevator ceased
Its upward motion, and slowlv descended.
A3 it moved down into the light I saw
that I had hold of another wire, which I
had overlooked before. I let tho elevator
run until tho lower floor was reached,
forgetting all else in my desire to get
into the air.
" As I steppod off asmall boy, who had
seen me go up, looked at mo in astonish
ment and exclaimed :
"Say, mlstor, aro you tho same man
thnt went up a fow minutes ago?'
i thought it must havo been a half
hour but I answered 'Y'os.
' ' Did you go up to buy a wig? ho
asked.
'So,' Raid I, 'why?'
" ' "Cause yor had black hair whon yer
started, and now it's white.
' I- rushed to a convenient glass and
grabbed my hat from my head. Tho
boy was right, gentlemen ; my hair was
as white a3 you see it now, turned from
fright In the two short minutes when I
was iu the elevator.
' Fact, gentleman, fact. My parenta
did not know me whon I got home, and I
had to show several birth-marks before
I could convince them that I was their
son. Fact, gentlemen."
And the gentlemen looked at him,
wondering whether to call him a liar or
a very unfortunate man. Boston Globe.
Wit ana Whisky.
A good story is told of a Kcntucklan
who was fond of fine whisky and always
kept his jug.
lie it was who said :
" I never saw any mean whisky. Some
Is better, but all is good."
One night, when he had company, ha
was observed to take out one guest at
a timo and treat to a choice swig.
When asked about this he said:
"Why, by drinking with them singly I
get half of my whisky myself. Bee?"
-Atlanta Constitution. .r,
OLD PLANTATION MELODIES.
Th Sweet Melodies or tho Fast.
0, for the songs of my youth, that
never grow old!" We don't know who
said it. If it was not said it ought
to have been.
We love to think of those good old
plantation melodies we heard the darkeys
sing whon we were a barefooted boy
on a south Georgia farm.
Among our first musical recollectious
was the good song of "Old Uncle
Ned."
Dar was an ole darkey.
And 'Is name wus Uncle Ned,
An' 'e died not bery long ergo.
An' 'e had no har on de top ob la hed,
De place whar de wool orter gro.
Chorus :
Den lay dawn the shubbel and de hoe,
And hang up do fiddul and de bow.
Par's no more wurk tar poor old Ned;
He's gone whar de good darkies go.
And then there's that happy old negro
minstrel song which v.c first heard as a
boy, sung by the amateur minstrel corps
of Painhridge, led by that ganial soul,
now Postmaster and editor of the Bain
bridge Democrat, Ben. Russell.
About all the words to the song
were :
Flckyune er Butler am er oomln' and er
comln' ;
Pickyune er Butler am er oomln to da
town.
The melody was quick and spirited,
and bofore every chorus, Ben., who
was the leader, delivered a spokon
part.
And at the log rolila' " we heard the
happy negroes siDg : -
Oh, 6tump Tony,'
Down below,
I knowed yer raisin, .
Down Delow,
Ter daddy name Tony, '
"' Down below, ".
Ter mamma named Lindy,
Down below.
Ter raised in de backwoods,
Down below,
Ter raised on llterd knots,
Down below.
And so on, and so on, the leader sing
ing the lines and the balance of the crowd
joining in the chorus.
Put, ah, what a sweet old song Is that
we heard many a time float up to the big
house, from the quart'-rs " after supper
and frequently after we went to bed :
Down in dat cornfield,
Yer hear that mornful soun",
All ile darkies am er weepin'.
Old llassa's inde cold, cold groun.
Massa lubbed dem darkies dearly.
Ami de darkies lubbed him.
Now he's gone, away and leff dem,
De'll neber see his emilin' face agin.
Down In dat cornfield, etc.
And there wa another sweet and plain
tive song. ' Old Jesse." It was sung by
a now sainted sister, with whom it was
a great favorite.
Ono of the verses ran thus :
Obi Jesse's hair was gray and long,
Like do moss upon the tree ;
His tooffie- would drop out er de old
jawbone.
But soon he will bo free. .
Chobcs:
Den pity poor old Jesso an wipe dat tear
drop from your eye.
Old Jesse's goin' ter leeb us now,
An' in der groun' ter lie.
Among the sorg that has never grown
old with us is of My Dear Old
Cabin Homo." We have heard it since
childhood, but more then than we do
now. It was once a great favorite with
vocal seronaders :
I am going far away, far away ter leeb
you now,
To the Mississippi Piber I am goln.
I'll take the obi banjo an' I'll sing yer er
tittle song,
Way down in my old cabin home. '
Chorvs :
Here lies my old cabin home.
Here lies my sister an' my brudder,
Hero lies my wife, she's the joy of my
life,
.In' de child In de grave wid its
. e mother.
Old age am comln on and my hair ara
turning gray, -.
And I'll hang up de banjo all along,
And we'll sit by de Are an we'll pass de
time away,
Way down In me old cabin home.
Chokcs :
Here lies me old cabin home, etc.
There Is nothing better in music than
a full chorus of voices singing this grand
old song.
And that song the negro banjolst
Used to sing :
Ef I had a scoldin' wife,
Whip 'er shores yer born,
Tck 'er down to New Orleans,
Trade 'er off fer corn,
' Trade 'er off fer com,
' Trado 'er off fer corn.
Wish I was In Alabam,
Sittin' in a big arm cheer,
Great big bokaby my side.
An er whoopin' ter my dear,
Er whoopin' ter my dear,
Er whoopin' ter my dear,
Er whoopin' ter my dear.
And that hop-sWp-and-a-jump song
of the little negro before the cabin
door:
Wheel about, turn about.
Do jess so ;
Ebery time I wheel about
I jump jim crow.
These melodious iefisctions carry us
back to the good old days of childhood
when we felt as free as a bird and as
happy as a sunshiny day.-Tatbottom
(Ga.) Era.
Apollo t JJonbie.
They say that Just by way of killing
time that hung heavy on his hands.
Colonel Henry Davis, Jr., visited the Cor
coran ArtGullery in Washington.
Whon he returnod to tho hotel he had
a great story to tell of his experiences.
" Pill," said he to Congressman Spring
er, I have been putting in a couple of
hours Inspecting the shef doovers of the
old masters."
Ah'.' said Springer. "I hope you
enjoyed yourself."
' Amazingly," continued Davis. "You
didn't know I was a good deal of an art
connozber, did yon?"
' I can easily believe you," answered
Springer, for I have always admired
your delicate refinement and graceful
discrimination."
"I ran across one statuto that par
alyzed me," said Davis. "It was a per
fect fae-similo of myself without my
clothes on."
"What could It have been?" asked
Springer.
When I pet back to Illinois, said
Davis, "I'm going to hunt up the origi
nal, for me and him are as muoh alike as
two pea.s. He lives at Bclvidere."
" Poone county?"
" Yes ; Pelvidere, Boone County, Illi
nois. His name is Apollo." Chicago
News.
Printing; With Luminous Type.
An Invention Is reported from Turin.
It consists in the application of light
giving material to printing-ink, by which
print becomes luminous in the dark,
so that in future it will be possible
to read at night. In bed or during a
journey without the assistance of candle
or lamp.
A new daily paper. In which this lum
inous material will be used, ts. It Is Bald,
about to be published at Turin.
SOMETHING ABOUT FEET-W0EK.
Hanay Can be Made with a T.lttta Scroll
Saw. The Materia.' Caed.
"There Is a great deal people don't
know about the art of fret-sawing," said
a well-known artist in fret-work In re
sponse to the inquiries of a repor er,
"and people would wondr, too. If they
knew how simple It is and how it Is be
coming the fashion.
Take for Instance the latt design
of a cabinet of fret-work. Nothing like
It has ever been produced in the art
of frct-sawlng. Indeed It is hard to con
ceive of tho effectiveness of the ap
pearance of such an art.cle when con
structed out of differently colored and
properly selected woods, and when you
think that it Is possible for a boy to
construct ruch an artlclo from the
pattern, you begin to reallzo the real
value of the fret machine.
"Such a cabinet stands from the base
79 Inches; li Is 45 Inches across and
15 inches deep. The front of the first
section is ornamented with panels ; In
the centre of the second section are
four drawers, and at the ends folding
doors, bark of which are receptacles
for knick-knacks; the third section,
when open, forms a lady's writing-desk,
and the fourth, two doors open upon a
mirror, fifteen by thirty inches In size,
and on either side eight small doors
which open into receptacles for a lady's
t.iilot articles. The whole Is sur
mounted by a castellated top.
"The pattern for this cost but $2,
and yet this cabinet, when made up,
will make as valuable an article of
furnituro as any that can bo bought
at a furniture ttore for from t200 to
$300. Beside the beautiful reeults ob
tained by this work, there is money
in it.
" I can tell you of a case In point.
A young man who found it impossible
to obtain employment became possessed
of a foot-power scroll-saw and by lu
aid made brackets, card-baskets, match
boxes, frames and other articles, whi' h
gave him when sold a clear profit of $5
a day.
"Hundreds of others here earned
f30 to $75 each by the sale of work
done at lolsure time. Mora than 30. 000
foot-power scroll-saws have been made
and sold to parties who are now usii g
them for pleasure or profit, and besides
there are probably three times ai
many more who use the ordinary
hand-saw.
' From a square foot of black walnut
I have known to bo made In a few
hour a handsome clock-case worth at
least $5 and the material costinc but ten
cunts. A piece of ebony, -north a'iout
a penny, furnished enough material for a
cross for which a person would gladly
havo given a couple of dollars.
" A square foot of good black walnut
will be sufficient to make f jtir or five
pretty brackets which will readily sell for
50 cents each."
" What about tho wood that Is used in
fret-work?"
"There ere more kinds than you
imagine. First comes white pine, use.
ful p.-u ticularly f r lining the bottoms
of boxes, etc. Then there is Spmish
cedar, easily obtained from cigar b xes,
but really only suited for coarse work.
Butternut, also known as white w.-'.nut,
cuts clean, but is soft and not adapted
for delicate designs. Red cedar and
whlto juniper are both handsomely
marked, though di.TicuIt to cut siiec-.-ss-fully,
because thev are picky. White
poplar Is very useful to the fret-sawyer,
as also is basswood, furnished by the
lime tree.
"But the highly ornamental goods are
black walnut, white holly, ebony, ma
hogany, rosewood and satin wood.
Besides these there are the tulipwood,
olive, bird's-eye maple and Hungarian
ash."
" You cut other material than wood In
fret-work?"
"Yes, thero are Ivory and tortoise
shell, for instance. There are two
varieties of elephant ivory, the Asiatic
and African. The latter is more opaque
and dead white than the other.
" Put the hippopotamus supplies Ivory
which Is much harder and far moro
valuable than that of the elephant,
being of a purer white and almost free
from gain.
"An Interesting fact about ivory In
connection with ihis work is that It
requires seasoning the same aA wood
and is very liable to crack and warp
w-hen subjected to changes of tempera
ture. It costs $6 to $3 a pound in the
rough.
"Tortoise-shell can be applied to tho
same purpose as Ivory.
" Slothcr-tif-pearl is another of these
choice materials that can be used by
the fret-sawver."
"Onod Bex-rand Plenty of It."
The extreme importance of sufficiently
nutritious feeding in youth Is well
illustrated by a utory that James M. Nixon
tells.
In 1833 Aaron Turner's circus was per
forming on a route through Porins3-lvania,
and at Fottsvillo Napoleon Turner, the
old man Turner's son, took a fancy to a
wretched, starveling-looking boy, be
tween six and seven years old. who was
mooning about in the neighborhood of
tho show.
The little fellow seemed to be nice,
Intelligent sort of boy for his age, but
miserably thin and weak. His legs
bowed out from simple inability to bear
his body's weight. All his limbs were
thin and shapeless aa a spider's, except
for their clumsy Joints. His cheeks were
sunken, and his breast seemed to have
caved In.
Nap. found the father of the lad and
managed to get the boy apprenticed to
him. The cireus-men were amaxed at
sight of Nap 's protege, and fre to
prophesy that he would never amount to
anything.
" Never mind, replied Nap. ; "even If
he doesn't, TM save him from starving to
death, anyway."
They found that young Whltcomb (the
boy's real name) could not eat meat. Ha
had never eaten any. Tho smell of It
mado him sick.
The first article of faith In a circus
man's creed is that one must eat beef to
be strong, and as it was a matter of
settbil determination in Nap. Turner's
mind that young Whitcomh should be
strong, and as Nap. was iho biggest,
young Whitivimh had to eat beef.
He commenced lightly on it. a little at
a time, and gradually of his own choice
increased the ration. He was not put to
work at anything, but just allowed to
loaf around tiio tent whan the oth -r hoys
were practising, and try to iniita'. i the'ni
when he chose to do so
Very rapidly he picked up fie h, and
verified the soundness of the clrci. 4 confi
dence in tioef by growing strong.
In a few seasons he grew to lie a ro
bust, straight, handsome fellow, g.nod at
leaping, tumbling, slack-rope walking,
and eventually, under the name of Henry
Turner, became famous as one of the
best four-horse riders in the country
" thanks to good beef and plenty of it,"
as Nap. Turner used to 6ay.
Jallera Tear.
Of course, all readers of Shakspere are
aware that Juliet was a very sweet
young maiden, and the thriftly citizens
of Verona take mercantile advantage
of the fact They sell "Juliet's teiars,'
which aro confections resembling
liquid gum drops, or brandy balls.
The correct tribute to leave on Juliet a
grave is a gold-paper heart, and a
dried rosebud, wrapped In a magnolia.
Altogether, the memory of the fair
Capulet Is the source of no small revenue
to her townspeople.
WATERING THE MLL1C.
The Story os nn Orient! Poddlar.
There was an Arab youth In Bombay
who made a living by peddling milk.
Like all Arab Moslems, fie was abstemi
ous, frugal and very religious.
He worked very hard. ne got up
before daybreak, said his long prayers,
bought his milk, and I am sorry to
say, he watered It. Put he most re
ligiously abstained from watering It
more than half.
Py dint of hard work an ! watering
the milk he had saved 200 rupees, ana
he concluded to gi back to his happy
village in Arabia Fe.ix. and buy a little
flock of goats and sheep, and live happy
during the re.-t of his life.
He went on board of one of tho native
Arab crafts and sailed happily with a
light heart for the port of Sana, In the
Rod Sea.
I need hardly say that our Arab
friend, Ibcn Hasid (for that was bis
name) never parted from his bag of
rupee. He would creep into an obscure
corner of the little vessel, open the
bag and run the bright silver through
his hands, and feel so happy.
Well, on board of that craft was
one of those mischievous African
monkeys, that aro always an Inevitable
appendage to an Arab vessel.
Ibis monkey spied Iben Hasid out,
and was seemingly a boon cnmpanloa
to him. In fact, our friend Iben would
show him the rupees and tell him of
hia future plana, and keep the bright
rupees running through his hands Into
the canvas bag.
But the treacherous monkey was up to
his tricks. He watched his opportunity.
He snatched the bag of rupeea suddenly
and ran up with It to the masthead,
and there he imitated the usual pro
ceedings of Iben Hasid, by trying to
run the rupees through hia clumsy,
thick hands.
Of course, the rupees fell on the
deck and in the water. Poor Ibea Hasid
scrumblad for his rupees.
When the monkey had emptied the
bag. he flung the emptied bag at the
Arab's head, and ecauipered, aa usual,
all over the vessel.
The poor Arab, after recovering the
bag. put tiie remaining rupees Into it, and
returned to his obscure corner oi tho
bhip and buyan to count them.
Alas! there were only 100 rupee left.
Rut Iben Hasid was a devout and
good Moslem, and he thus exclaimed :
" Aliah ! Thou art just and rightnous
and Mohammed is thy prophet. I have
saved oo rupees by selling milk, half
of which was water. If I bad not
watered milk, I could certainly not
have saved more than PX) rupees.
" Therefore thy judgment is right.
The rupees that I made by water have
now gone back to the water, end the
100 rupees I made by tho milk re
main. Therefore let mo again say,
'Al.ah, il Allah, and Mohammed Is tils
prophet. ' "
Housekeeping In Japan.
A lady writing from Japan saya :
"Housekeeping here has no trials.
The worn and vexed spirits of American
chatelaines ought to rest in Japan after
death. Capable and faithful servants
are plentyand cheap. Our establishment
boat, is five, and for these we pay about
what two would cost iu New York.
"I do not viait my kitchen oncea month,
never give an order outside of a spoken
wish, yet the domestic ma hinery movo
with an ease and perfection unattain
able at home by almost ar.y effort on the
par; of the mistress.
"Tiie man Herat of t he servants are amus
ing, not to say startling, to an American
accustomed to the cheerful familiarity
of her native help.
"Every night at bedtime our five re
tainers appear, prostrate themselves
in succession to the earth, and retire.
This to wish me good night and to
renew their testimony of profound re
spect and pleasure over the privilege
of serving me. It was difficult at first
to preserve the necessary dignity for
the ceremony, but now I am as
majestically gracious as any other po
tentate. "The other day, on one of my rare
visits to the kitchen, a hairpin became
loosened and dropped without my
potlce. I had been seated in my
rooin only a few moments when my
houseman entered, bearing a small
salver, which he presented to me with
many genuflections.
"Fancy my surprise to see a little
hairpin upon it, and to learn from my
proud but embarrassed servitor that it
had fallen to the kitchen floor from my
head.
"Afterward I found there had been a
discussion as to w ho should pick it up.
and almost a quarrel as to whom be
longed the inestimable honor of bearing
It to its owner !"
" Chllaren s Teeth.
Children's teeth are often neglected by
parents, who give the young mouths lit
tle attention until decay and the child's
complaints of toothache warn them of
their duty. Even If they know there is
decay going on, they dismiss the subject
with the thought that they are only the
first or temporary teeth, which will soon
be replaced by the permanent ones.
This Is a great mistake, as the regular
ity of the second set depends largely
upon the healthy condition of the first,
which 6hould be retained in their places
until the second set is ready to apiar,
when they will generally drop out or
become looend. and are easily removed.
Much mischief is dono by premature
decay and the extraction of tho tempo
rary teeth. Many think that they should
be removed to make room for the perma
nent teeth a dangerous mistake, which
6hould be avoided if after trouble would
be prevented.
One of the most beautiful provisions
of nature In tho human economy is that
for the removal of the first teeth by ab
sorption of their roots to make room for
the second to advance.
Sometimes this absorption does not
go on fast enough, and tho second tooth
is observed to bo coining through before
the first is loosened. In such a cae the
dentist should be consulted, who, If ho
has made a proper study of this frequent
condition of things, will very readily
correct It. Dr. Gilbert.
A Farm Bong-nt by Becrln-.
A small boy was seen to approach a
well-dressed middle-aged gentleman on
Fei.nsy Ivania avenue, near Tenth street,
with a piteous appeal of hunger and of
distress at home.
The gentleman's sympathy waa aroused,
and he took the boy into the Alderney
lunch hall, on D street, where he bounti
fully provided for the toy's appetite, and
aUo made purchases for him to take
home.
The gentleman left the boy In the
place, fesllag satisfied that he had done
a charity.
While the boy was drinking his eoffe,
he was observed by a young man, who
asked, Does not your father own a big
farm in Maryland?
" Yes, sir. I don't know how big it is,
but It's right large."
" I know that boy," said the young
man ; " he Is the beet professional beggar
in town. He and his father are regular
d-jad beats. I remember the boy a long
tins back, and often have seen him com
Into a oertain saloon.
" nis father is a flrst-classblarksmith,
but won't work. He lives off this boy's
begging. Ia faot the farm was paid for
largely by this boy's begging." Wash
ington National Republican.
APFETIZESa.
Ksry-Holee and Laatcn-Keys,
Latch-key9 are more frequently a4
In the eight thaa at acy oLasr
time.
The night Is very often dark.
For six months in the year, on an evr
ago, the weather la cold.
If men partake of stimulant to
excess it la generally at cifht
when the labors of Uie lay are
over.
Taking all these facts Into consid
eration, why are the keyhole of
latch-locks not placed In an accessible
position? Why are they not easily dis
cernible and easily penetrable?
We have known latch holes to be
placed Immediately under the door
knob at alout two feet six Inches from
the ground, where a tall man had X
bend himself nearly double to get at
them.
And we have known them to be placed
In Immediate juxtaposition with auctha
and larger keyhole, so that In th dark
It waa almost Impossible to know oca
from the other.
Most latch hole are o be cure little
apertures not easily 6en In t road day
light by a person with all his faculties at
their keenest. Now how raunt it be on a
dark night for a ,erson with Ms hands
benumbed with cold and more or lea
conf-.ed w;th the good cheer of a supper
party ?
It is simply cruel, brutal and prepos
terous to place a j-ernon in such a
situation, when all trouble rr.lpfct be
easily avoided by placing the hole at th
eud of a small cup or funnel cf metal
and surrounding It with a disc of
polished silver, or eva with a phos
phorescent nimbus, as could be easily
done.
Calculate, if you can, the misery, th
bickerings, the criminations and recrimi
nations, that have grown t ut of th
inability to open front doors with
r.ight keys; the people who have teea
rung up out of their beds, and the others
who have b.-cn forced to go to hotels or
walk the e rei-ts.
Think of it, and say whether we are net
Justified In asking for reform la
matter. Teiab S, flings.
Be Jumped nt C one Isadoras,
"Tou saw the greater portion cf this
flgh did you not?" inquired a lawyer
of a witness In an assault and bat
tery cas.
"Well, it's like this," commenced th
witness.
" No equivocations, 6lr! Tou saw th
whole occurrence, I believe. Tou were
there?"
"Yes, I warthar.
" Judging from the appearance of your
lacerated feat tires and rartl-cob -red com-
I plexion I should say you saw the whole
i thing."
! " Wa'l, yer shouldn't Jump at conclu
sions in that random eortolttvla. It's
like this"
" Answer, on your oath now, did yon,
or did you not, see the fight?"
" Noiip."
" What!"
" No slr-ee I The fust I knowM about
thar l -in' any l.kclihood of a fight Bill
Spooner fetched methe gt-1 dure debt swip
across the eye-, an' I didn't bm anything
for an hour, hour an' a half or two
hours afterward." Merchant Trav
eler. Be ftifhAial for Greenland.
Little Johnny Gunwad wai sitting by
the window with bis bead on Lis band
and an expression upon his face showing
that he was in deep thought, when his
mamma suddenly lLterrupted Llm ty
saying :
"What are you thinking of, Johnny,
what makes you so quiet?
" I was thinking." said Johnr.y, "what
a picnic it must be to live up In Green
land." "To live In Greenland P said his
mother In surprise. Why, what under
the sun ever put that idea Into your
head?"
"Well," replied Johnnv. "my teacher
told ua to-day that in Greenland the days
are three months long, and I was think
ing what a snap it would be when Satur
day came around and there wouldn't be
any school for three months." Peck's
Sun.
' Tlttle-Tattle. J.
A lady who belongs to an old and very
large Boston family says she always
takes an exciting novel with her on the
Back Bay horse cars that the may not
hear her family talked over.
One lady had the felicity of hearing
her own reception and the probable
amount of her wealth discussed all th
way from Newbury Street to the Bruns
wick by two ladles who were oblivious,
seemingly, to the fact that they were la
a public conveyance. Boston Beacon.
Coming; Churning Contest.
It Is probable that a churning
match will be one of th attrac
tions at the next Maine State Fair.
The idea is to place a dozen or twenty
churns In a row on a stage and have a
plump and rosy farmer's daughter
operate each dasher, offering good prizes
to those who excel In time, quality, and
quantity of production, neatr.es la
appearance and jauntiness cf motion also
to be considered as points. Lewlstoa
(.Me.) Journal.
Tain of a Cheat Voice.
A gentleman who Is kind enough to be
a devoted render of this column wants to
know what I mean by saying that Salvlnl
places his voic in the top of his head.
He writes: There are throat (or Lead)
voice and chest vcie1 as I understand
the natter. All good singers have chest
voices, and all well-trained actors. It is
the chest voice that never fatigues, if C.e
speaker also knows when and how to
breathe.' I know this perfectly well, but
It is knowing Just how to place" this chest
voice that make Salvini s sptch s
beautiful. The knack consist lr th
proper throwing of the chest voice up
against the nasal cavity, which acts as a
sounding-toard. The late Mine. Ruders
dorf perfectly understood this placing of
the voice, and so do the best teachers
In Taris Critic,
What laakotn Means.
" Voyager" writes to the New Tork Sun
as follows :
" I believe that Idaho Is a patched-u;i
fanciful word, with no meaning; but
Dakota is a different kind of thing.
"Dakota means cut :hroat.' It Is tt
name of the Sioux Indians, whose orig
inal habitat is now D.-vkota Territory.
"When a Sioux Indian me( anoth-r.
he gives the sign of his own national iy
by drawing his hand across his throat."
The JSext Beet Thing.
"Madam." said a polite passenger !:
a crowded Btreet car from h s corr.f st
able seat to a ladv w ho was preset v. -.
her balance with difficulty, "permit i J
to "
" Oh. thank you. sir." replied the la .y
sweetly as she prepnrcd to sit down.
Er as I was about to nay pern ri
me ah to call your attention to tin
6 trap."
Mr. OToole'e Disosvao.
"Good marnln.' Mrs. OToole! Ai
so thev tell me yer husband is sir? "-.
whBt "same to be the mather wid Uo
poor man?" . .
" Ah ! Mrs. Murphy, be has he C
terrible attack of spine In hU back ; fca
tilt it comln on this long wbi.j
n n
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