, lfe" Y I
A ivicPIKE, Editor and Publisher
GLUME XI.
HSBOBG DAffi
PAPER FOR THE PEOPLE.
j- ... rirtin ftf 1 JVil-M
prs in the V. Sm
xiii'.ED IS CI. CBS OF TES A T
l;Vv i,i,r.r.Ab's a yeah, asd
I--"-1 ....... ri r I.- f 4 T n
l ONE
w ,f n'ir reader who desire n good city
li. til f I V Hil mentis subscribe for the
'.m nr. ImspaK I.irft. Live. Inde
. ,riir. rIwhva forfiiiKst in obtaining
lum -liii.tf the Latest .News, and beyond
L'lun tin "lC """" . . ciii.
" i .,..t. i.i. u.i i,. H,
-HH.IIK 1""" ."- - ... ...r
, -ift. b. 'I be-Iiisi'aich will enter upon
rtv-liiinl :ir oti the 8th of February. Ir
.. mimst pri.i-r iii tin- if. Kivinif the la-
,.fil T mail and if lifr:ip!i IrDiiiull quar
' net "'' ineludirir i lie fullest ami most
,' ,f ( i,ii ti' I'-ml Mini Financial 11 ports;
nd n -list'ie a" ll' Market. Kiver and Oil
r' ' !.v reports of 'iirrcnt events In the
in V otirt New, Police IJcpi rn and
nl'tltv Intellnoncc. I'rrsi-iml. Political
n.i itv 'News, with carefully digested Edi
i ( 'imiiin'nts upon till the mole important
Inf llie !)". Special correspondence from
i imi:iR of It n rcst, etc. Wl liivr for
-ruri-hsn'. the Fi.itner.cr me mniiiy, tae
uri n wlil lip ruiiMi mot rename j urni
h null wp run i hcerfully i'i iiiiiiukII to
rfr..!inif piil. Iio. The t-"t evidence nl Hit?
: sntj of the PISI'ATCH. I Inc lact tlmt it
il t v hII clii'M. if!ii','l,,!! Ci'iinlrT or
i'u-j. iuiii eij.! a circulation nnp than
hp thui of liny pdper In llio ttate outs'de
, f I h.lmlelhiii.
HU?: Iiv iiihiI t" sii'tflo mihcrni'M. iiot-n-pi;.
HlO 'ir itnnuiu ; in clutis of 10
ntm'.I I J hifi tils or carriiT in Binjrlf
r-'tn r. li rt tits per i(-k. Post muster
iii'hune'l to rri'pive Minnie nNx rilit rs at
tucli. ."-iiiJ ItT a specimen cj".
310 Weekly Dispatch !
uf the Clioii'est, Clioapcbt and Btst
Family Nrwspapers PiiVii.cJ.
:ei:tdody should read it.
tt-'iTrf Wi.kly Ihsivatcit. likp th
iiM. Iimii eleiir, pew type, and is
y nl ;t,v i In h i I ri.iiii' pupers pn liir-heil.
- it UryiV li'luj flu t I im 1 .1 ne:iiK "II I li'J more
..itaiit t;ew il t ! wci k, ( mi ef ti 1 1 y coitatt J
(.iniii h-m it. mill in; il in; f ii' t hi n t(ft la I.
J. cs a n. w-i'iiper. it is n.it Mil i.h--i il ly
m.iar pu!'lteiiti"tiin America : while the
? tti w iiii-li i ' si leci inns a e nix;lf. r mipr
i ;m?i riluil ie J"iitt.i!l lor tt' limn!- a
.'i:jl fpltte with intei c-st i t.if nuililiu. anil
"i.J rltlillii! tuil t.i I'lfH'.. 'I'll1 1'l'lIltlUT
. Fiii:ivml aid (Ml Keport of the Weekly
i'iti h Hfe ma le up wit (i i e!it cure, ami an1
1'iii atiJ reii'le. while to its Cut tie
k-t r-'.'rti i 'i;hI Httet'tjoti is jfiven. The
ky IdsPAK ii is furni-itied to fit a.!p n-ib
h: Ht ! 'm i icnr, or in c-lnhs of tn ut
Mih g P'.per trrat is to the patly ettitiir
hci ':1. i i tlie c.h"iipef utper in Ainer-i'-.Hii.l
t he H nn itt in ot I endinsr nin Iter
ioiimI'I j'1. unil every fuiuily slmul-J
it.
l:i". llOOKifVNF.II.r..
-uers Uaily and Weekly )ipjrc!f.
Fifth avenue, Pittslmrjf.
Assignee's Sale.
nrirao't mti nr Icr "f tlieljunrt of t-'onifuon
'Fulfill I 'uMit.ria r"nnly. to mo directed. 1
i-'?e ro jie tjy puuiic vendue or outcry, on
TUESDAY, JAN. 22, IC78,
. ocllck. p. m.. the following des'.TiboJ real
estate, to wit :
1' i'vl ? 9-p1 r,f Twl
ir.t '.'n We-hT.y t"W!i.hit. r.imhrla county.
a- tli.w..: I!yinn-tii: at a heech
' n Ht rfk : honre su.nt h m ilprn iii mi
I I'4-;Vm ,i: u io'rr.,. ,'.'
tn ir nw'-i: th-n'-rhy l.in l conveyed in nime
tf ot. i utli i de ret-?. wet ahout 169
.1-- to t h' -t Crei W; tkenro down I Iies-t
. i! " a-i.-rat j.mro .in itituncps tliereoT.
1" I'M v of t nniriir.-on'-iltiiiiu- ahnie t nM
lr. ( ii; i 1 , ,.Krt i,.,,.i i u,...
Ml '" 8""ry Funk Hot si e, a one-and-a-
I'lank llins, and a Stabt.k
' Kf.uiiiM . I am also directed In snid or
' i '''ir'. t.i ofl'.r iid proi.irtv for sale reerv.
"iM ' I W.tv f'.r T.i.rt L... . ,i .
I il.- l. J l''l'1 , v.-uvv'l I'jr U'U'l
I 1,1-i"a Maupt, arid It a x-iilic-iont price he hid
.ir.ict.!,, reei-rd. tben make rPtinrt of such
MiSii-ient pr.i-e to rover Eaid deht he
inn i. is ordered to oiler the same with-
fiiHIS I'lP S.r rinn ,i.i..t e
.1 1 paiit on otmriimtion of the sale, one
',0 year thereafter, ami t-e tlnni:e in
...r -h. r, lt.,.r i-ayments deferred .o hear
' I ,r'''i the Contlrma! ion of the ale. and to
ir-l v t ne ju Igtn.-nt lx.n l nnd niortK;ire
-lurJuwr. JOHN WAttXKI!.
n 4 j.., Ajalgneo of Charles A. .Mc.Mullen.
pflraW Sale of Real Estate!
w .. ar' ,'T,l''T vT t,ie "ridiann' Court of
'-ouruy. uie soPTilera will oiler at
i - -.. ... V.I.......1 1.. w F yt lining
3 TIES DAY, JANUARY 22.1, 1878,
"fc " ri,o following denerihed real
-"H-len,..nt FrePh died seized, to wit
tot Pises
cr ?ir;sl c! Lai
1r-';iin-i'',,,'lnn''hiP'!lI"nit the F-henyhUrirand
:'"'H TnlJ,Ii,nkroad. adponinK land of IMward
!, ,. " " r..iw;trns, iMvt.l a trams, ct. al..
TtwufiTrr,"" "'
"n wi.h L " "" ,n lf",',l ta te of cultl
Jtcz t',, flnc "'hard, an ahundanc. of nood
tun r,V'"r- ' ",re Kt,kr etc.. on the ).remiHeg.
" r"l. n cnnft of a tw etl; rraina
t'tlJl !,uit"'1 ,or fa"" '""!e or public
wpuuM. an'1 'lher o'lthalldinirs. Title
" -h'N,' .' , h" ,RO"e I'roperty is conrenient
Tepw. . chur,"-
ed tlT. "-""'-tlilr.l on conflrtnat'onof
to i. ,nr in three e.Ual antiatl pur.
' P. r f ' wlth li'lsf Iroin date. Tbe
P"l toh one ,h'r' to hear intercMani to
iMtou.T, lntlly dnrlnirher lifetime, the
e,DJ fpmain alien on dtd property.
A ril.AKlNK FKK.SH,
. . JKN W.SHAKHAIMFH,'
Dhui " Di,8'7"'tcr8 01 leu,cat i-rc.li, dee'd.
A?1 XOTICE.-On Dec.
, tCl . .' 00 tnution of A. V. Rarkfr.
?"'aed the ,Uourt of ('ambrl county apl
' UTOX trill)... . .. . "c """"" 1)1 OHABIH
""irii 0 !oU tho rcal "f L'wia
'' ,rtll trr,' , 'e?!,eJ' 8ho"n "7 hl ,eon and
'"''torecri'.l0 u'1 the partlps en-
i i i . n nciri'i riven
idt ,7 to.th? rtuUt" ,r "IJ l l-oint-
a,r ll '. at ' 'c,'ck. r. m . when and
l1' . or be . r''te'1 mu1 I"fc'ent their
-..u ironi eominj' in on aia
A;IT0 P'S'XOTICB.-Tlie un-
NhX',,', ,,ayi"K PPfintPd an-
"'"rlhutP Mlh!n" .t-onrtof Cambria count.
f-H'orof S,!l" '"I'lsor W. H. Sechler, Epo'.
..;n7n;l Mllep. deceased, a, phown f.y
oir.rf.lm c,,nnrmed aho!utPl inth t ?
Enik:: ao lee that he will nil t ,t. r.m i
J 11 tt io;'.i ' : me z th
. - --- ...
lilt if lnnn.r.
r. it ... - ""'
, m 'nmtm.' "" auenn mtne our lee o
'rr.J person, io
"7 attend if thy iee proppr,
1 1. - T . . ...
. m
to attend to the dur lee of
""51.1.T7 , iUilnor
A IF A D VEtt TISEMEy TS.
A I A!JU and HO Hi:
OF YOUR OWN.
NOW is the TIMETO SECURE IT !
Only TIIC Dollar.
FOR AN ACRE
Of the hjst Land in America. 2 000 000 Acrp in
Enptern Nehraska.on the line or the Union Pacific
Kailroad. now for sale. 10 ypr credit rlreni
Interest only 6 percent. These are l lie only lands
foii SAts on the lino or this Orbat KAilroar
the A oRi. ii s Highway. Seit'1 lurTniNivri
I"""'" th l-est papur for those seeking new
homes eter published. Full Information; with
A GREAT OFFER HOLIDAYS !
e.7'i,,,urln? thcse "AKD TIMES and the
J . . UA 'Impose of MMINEW FIAMOSand
(KtAiNS. ol flrst elnps rhakers, at lower prices
r.T csih, or InstslMcnts, than eer hpfoie OlTerpit.
V AT EKS' 1'IANOSand OKUANSare tho Kkt
made, warranted fof & years. 1 llust'd Catalogue
niiitlc i. tJreat Iniluceinenls tothe trade. 1'ianos,
7-oetare, .I40: 7' ootave 410 Orpans, 2 stops.
8 : 4 Slops. t5S; 7 stops, 05; b si ops, 70; 10 stops,
12 Hops. H; In perlect order, not uiied a year
Miett inuile at hall prlre. IIOKACE WATEHli
S. SONS. IWanuhiettuers aud Dealers, 40 Fast
Hth Street, ew York.
X CMKi: FITS!!
hen I say euro I do not mean merely to stop
them lor a t lino sod i hen hare them reto m ai(in
1 mean a radical cure. 1 am a regular Physician
and have iiii.de I ho disease of
FITS, El'ILEI'SV, OK FALLING SICKNESS,
a life. lor. aiu ly. I warrant my rented? to cure
the worn capes. liecauso others have tailed is no
reason for not nw receiving a cure trom me. Send
to me at cnee for a 1 rratiso and a Free Mottle or
my inf.illitilo remedy. Oive express and post of
tiee. It costs you nothing for a trial, and 1 will
cure you. Address Dr. U. O. liOOT. 1st J'earl
St., New York.
WOJUC FOR VI1
In their own localities, csnvassinir .'or the t ire-
lllor (eiilarxcd), eekiv ami otilhlr.
ire"l l-r In lite Woriil, nltli Maih
m.if h t.'hromos Free Ktg Coiniiii.-dionH to Anents
I cr ins urn' Outfit F'ree. Address P.O. !!.
-It 1 . .tiiutin. .iluine.
4t VxIt Fine Vixed Cards, with name, lo cts.,
lyJ FtVrar j. I.. JON t t.l'., Na-sau, N. i .
V nri Uil price 9 O only -'60. Parlor Or
laniel F. Itcsttr, W'aiiblngton. . J.
4 - Flecsnt Farils. to twi nUlie, with name. 10e.,
aU postpaid. J.K. Harder, Maiden Urld(e, N.V.
Pf Fash ionsldp fares. Snow flikc.Slartde.fce. with
LJ name, loc.C.ValkerK.Co.,Cliailia in VH'Re,N.Y.
On t'RIS ( !5 etvles) 10p. 80 HIrd Cards S(?r
with n a nio. I. Tkkpkn
iNo Cobh skill, N.Y.
Manhood: How Lost, How Restored!
ffgfyf Just published, a new edition ot
i I i f-f J lr 'er !' 1 I'h'br.'li-tl
? i ii t . on the radical cure (without
medicine) of Spkhhm AToitKniEA or
Seminal Weakness, Involuntary sVmln:il Losses,
iMPOTEJrr, Mental and Physical Incapacity, Im
pediments to Marriaire, &e. ; lso. CnnsrsiPTltiv,
Eru.Ersv and I'its. induced by self indulgence
or sexuiil cxtfavwiir.inee. etc.
Price. In a seab-d envelope, only six cents.
The celebrated author. In this admirable Essay,
clearly demons; rates, from a t hirl y years' siicei-s-lul
practice, that the atarminir co'ti.eiuei co ot
self-abuse may be radically cured without tl o dan
irerous use ot internal mi dleir.e or the application
of the kn f e ; pointing out a mode of cure ui once
pimple, crrtain and etf-etual. by means ol which
every suUrer. iio matter what his fonditi'-n may
he. may cure hiiusell cheaply, privately and raol
cally. -Thl Essay should bo in the hands oT every
youih und every man in the land.
Sent, unuer s'-al, in a plain envelope, to any ad
dress pnt paid, on receipt of six cents or two poit
agb stumps. Address i he I'ut'MsIiers.
T1IK I'CLTFKW F! I. JIKHH .tl, CO.,
41 Ana htreet. w York.
Post Offiee Box 4jh. i-ll.-3tu.J
HE ALT H 7, HAPP INESS.
Health and Happiness are priceless Wealth to
their possessors, and yet they are within the reach
ot every one wto will use
WRICHT'S LIVER FILLS!
The only sure f 'T' R E for Torpid Lirer. Dyspepsia.
Headache. Sur Stomach, t lonstipation 1 eb' lity.
Nnusna, and all Hiilious complaints nnl Himi
disorders. None t.'nuine unl'-ss signed Wm.
W'riKht. Phila." If youj Druuist will not sup.
plv send 2a eents fbrobe Isjx te KAintK'K, Homr
Jfc'C'o., n S. 4lh Sft.. Piilfs. K-i, 7.-ry.J
With cold water or sweet milk make a batter
and bake on a hot irriddlo. Ask jour tirocer for
It. H-U. et.J
SS I J N E E'S X OT I C K W he rea s
PaiiI KHwatiger ami HeKii"1 Ellwnnger,
his wire . of the borough ol tarrolltown, tambrla
county, have made an assignment to me of their
real and personal estate for tho benefit of their
creditori . those indebted to said Paul and Keina
Ellwanifer are requested to make payment, and
toose having c aims atrainst them will present
them to tne rir settlement.
JACOB YEAOLEY, Assignee, fcc.
Carrolltown, Jan. 4, lS7.-t.
I) M I N I ST H A TO It'S N OTIC E
Kstate of .Toiiv Mammas. iVcM.
Letters or administration on the estate or said
decedent, Jutenf Jnnlata county, 'have been grant
ed to the nnderslitned. who hereby itives notice
to all persons Indebted to said estaie that pay
ment mnpt be made without rtelay, and those hav
ing claims ayralnst the same will present them
properly authenticated for settlement.
ADAM HAMMAN. Administrator.
Allegheny Twp., Dot. 21. 17.'-St
UMINISTIIATOHS' NOTICE.
EPilMPi f)f .1 AMFS DOYI.K. llecM.
Letters of Administration on the estate or .Tas.
Doyle, late or Altmma. Blalrc nnty, Pa..coeas
ed, have been granted to J. O. Lake, resldinir at
Ebenshurtr. Cambria criUnty. Pa., to whom all
persons indebted to said estate are reiueted o
make payment, and those harinsr claims or de
mands will make known the same without delay.
J. O. LAKE, AdmiBiarater.
Dec. , U7T.-t. .
TUAY ifoilSE. Came to tlie
preinUe of the siiWrllwr, in Cambria
township, on theerenlnir or the27th ori)ecemler
last, a largo bay horse, about sixteen h amis hlh
ami aired botween seven end eiuht years. No
marks risible. The owner is requested to come
forward, prove propertr. pay char-'OS and take
him away, otherwise he will be disposed ot accord
iiiK to law. THOMAS HOOVER,
t atnbria Twp., Jan. 4, 187S. 3t.
STRAY C 4LF. Came to tlie resi
lenc of tlif snilmcrilxT, in Wliit town
ship, no orabont the loth day of December last, a
bull calf, of roan color and one year old next
spring. The owner Is requested to come forward,
prore property, pay charges and take It away;
otherwise It will be disposed of accord inc to law
ICH A EL SHEEH AN.
White Twp., Jan. 10. l73.-st.-
FOR RENT. The larm. saw-mill
liti, Intn, etc., lat" thsi proerty of
Anthony Swires, deo'd, sltnated In Clearfield
township, are offered torrent for the coming year.
Apply to (FEO M. M EAUB, Exeentor.
ItweMskasjr, Jaa. 11, W7S -M.
A LEXANDER TAlT, M. D.. Pht
arciA ad Suko?, St Aornstlne, Cam
fcrli countr. Pa- Klaht ea'.ls should he made at
the Post onto ll-XI.-Tf.-rf.J
HE IS A FREEMAN
EBEXSBURG,
lK AST OSK VAHK Fitt FATHER?
Does any one rare aught for father?
Doe any one think of the one
Upon whose tire', bent shoulders,
The cares of the family come?
The rathe.r who strives for your comfort,
And lolls on from day nn'lo day.
Although his steps ever grow slower,
And his dark lucks are turning to gray.
Does any mio think of the due bills
He's called upon daily to pay ;
Milliner bills, college bills, doctor bills.
There are some kind of bills every day.
Like a patient borne in a tread mill.
He works cn from morning till night.
Does any one think he is tired,
Ioes any one make his home bright?
Is it right, just lieeanse he looks troubled
To fity he's as cross as a liear?
Kind words, little actions of kindness,
Might banish his burden ol care.
'Tis for ywti he is ever so anxious,
He will toil for yon whi'.e he may live;
In return he asks only for kindness,
And such pay is easy to give.
TAK1XG IT LOO LEY.
Some of many instances of eXtia.n tilliary
coolness m the midst of danger aiJ other
wise tliHt have been recoidcd aie hero of
fered to our readers, together with some
amtisiiiif sayings and doings. When gal
lant l'ottstinby lay gilevously wounded on
the field of Wateiloo he forgot his own
desperate plight while wa cliingan encoun
ter between a coupleuf French btnccisand
one of his own men. c;it oft from his troop.
As tbe Frenchmen came down upon Mur
phy, Ii, using his sword as if it were a
shillelagh, knocked their lances alternately
aside again and again. Then suddenly
t-ettiug spurs to his horse, lie galloped oil
full Ppceri, his eager foes following in hot
pursuit, but not quite neck and nee!:.
Wheeling round at exactly the light mo
ment tbe Irishman, lu.shitig at the foie
niosl fellow, parried his lance and Mi tick
him down. The second, pressing on to
avenge Ids eomiade, wascnt through diag
onally by Muiphy's swoid, falling to (he
earth without a cry or a groan ; while the
victor, scaiccly glancing at bis haudi woik,
trotted on" whistling "Tlie tJriiidei "
lnsotib's brave cavaity man knew how
to take things coolly, which, according to
Colonel Ii. 1. Anderson, is the special' vir
tue of the ISritish inati-nf war. who, having
the utmost reliance in himself and his com
mander, is neither easily over-exci td nor
readily alarmed ; in Mtpioituf his asser
tion the Colonel relates how two tars,
strolling up from the Oil Kuhha Paik,
wheie Lord Clyde's amy nis stationed,
towards the Residency position at Lr.ck
now, directed their steps by the pickets of
horse and foot. Suddenly a twenty-four
poiiujj shot, struck the road just in front of
shein. "I'm blessed, Bill," said one of the
tars, "if this here channel is pioperly buoy
ed !" and on the happy-go-lucky pair went
towards the Ilesidency, as c-ilnily ns if
they had been on I'oitsmouth Hard. Dur
ing the snme siege a veiy young piivate of
the One Hundred and Second was on sent
ry, when an eight inch shell, tiicd from a
gun a hundred yards off, buist close to him,
making a deal of noise, aud throwing up
an immense quantity of earth. Colonel
Anderson rushed to the spot. T..e youth
ful soldier was standing quietly at his post,
close to wheie the fdiell had just exploded.
Being asked w hat had happened, he replied
unconcernedly, "I think a shell has busted,
sir."
Toward the close of tbe fight of Inkoi
mann. Lord Raglan, returning from taking
leave of Gen. Si rang a s. met a sergeant
carijing water for t he wounded. The
seigeant drew himsoir up to salute, when a
lound shot came bounding over the hill
and knocked his forage cap out of his hand.
Tim man picked it up, dusted it on his
knee, placed it carefully on his head and
made the salute, not a muscle of his conn
tenance moving the while. -'A neat thing
that, my man !" said Lord Kaplan. "Yes
my lord," re tin tied the sergeant with an
other salute, "bu- a miss is as good as a
mile." The commander was probably not
surprised by such an exhibition of turtg
frttid, being himself good that way. lie
was badly hurt at Waterloo, and, say-Jlhe
Prince of Orange, who was in the ho-piial.
"I was not conscious of the presence of
Loid Fitzroy Somerset until I heard him
call out in his ordinary tone, 'Hello ! Don't
carry that arm away till I have taken off
my ring !' Neither wound nor operation
had exfoited a gioan from I is lips.
The Indian prides himself upon taking
good or ill in the quietest of ways, and
from a tale told in Mr. Maishall's "Cana
dian Dominion," his civilized half brother
would seem lo be equally unemotional.
Thanks mainly to a ceitain Metis of half
bied in the aeivice of ihe Hurho'i Bay
Company, a Sioux warrior was found guil
ty of stealing a horse, and condemned to
pay the animal's value by instalments at
one of the company's forts. On paying the
last instalment he received his quittance
from the man who had brought him to jus
tice, and left the office. A few moments
later the Sioux returned ; advanced on his
noiseless moccasins within a pace of the
writing table and levelled his musket full
at the half breed's head, but his hair was
singed off in a broad mass. The smoke
clearing away, the Indian was amazed to
see that his enemy still lived. The other
looked him full in tbe eyes for an instant
and quietly resumed his writing. The In
dian silently depaited unpurstieH, those
who would have given chase being slopped
by the half-breed with, "(Jo back to your
dinner and leave the affair to me."
When evening came, a few whites, curi
ous to see how the matter would end. ac
companied the Metis to the Sioux encamp
ment. At a cei tain distance he bade them
wait, and Advanced alone to the Indian
tent. Before oue of these s it crouched the
baffled savage, sin2iug hi.- rieath-hymu to
the tom-tom. He complained that be must
now say good-bye to wife and child, to the
sunlight, to his gun and the chase. He
told his f i tends in the spirt-Und to expect
him that night, when he would bring them
all the news of their tribe. lie swung his
body backwards and forwards as he chanted
his s-range song, but never once lo kt-d up
not eveu when bis foe spurned bim with
his foot. He only sang on. and aw-ii ed bis
fate. Then the half bieed bent bis head
and spat down on the crouching Sioux, and
turned leisurely away a crueller revenge
than if be hd shot bim dead.
It is not given to every one to play the
philosopher, and accept fortune's buffets
and favors with equal placidity. Horatio
are scarce. But there are plenty of people
capable of behaving like SpArtans when ihe
trouble does not touch their individuality.
"How cm I et out uf tLi4?"' asked u
WHOM THE TRUTH MAKB9 FREE, AXD ALL
PA., FRIDAY, JANUARY IS, 1878
Englishman, up to bis armpits in a Sotch
bog, of a passer-by. "I dinna think ye can
get out of it," was the resonse of the
Highlander as he went on his way.
Misress of herself was the spouse of the
rentleman who contrived to tumble off the
feiryboat into the Mississippi, and was en
conraged to s rrggle for dear life by his
better-half shouting : "Therej Samuel ;
didn't I tell you so? Now then, work your
legs, flap 3itir arms, hold your bieath, and
repeat the Lord's Prayer, for it's mighty
onsartin, Samuel, eternity?"
Thorougl-ly oblivious of court manners
was the ied-clfaked old Kentish dame who
found Iser way Into (he tent occupied by
Queen Charlotte, at a volunteer review
held shortly alter her coming to England,
and after staring at the royal lady wiih bet
arms akimbo, observed : "Ve!l, she's not
so ugly as they told me she was !" a com
pliment I he astonished queen gratefully ac
cepted. s ying : "Well, my good woman,
I am veiy glad of that." Probably Hei
Mnjesty forgave her crit ic's rudeness as the
on come of nistic ign. nance and Simplicity.
Theie is no cooler man than your simple
felliw. While General Thomas was in
specting the for ificalions of Chattanooga
w-iih General (iai field, they heard some one
shout: "flello, mister! You ! I want to
speak to you General Thomas, turning,
found he was Ihe "mister" so politely hailed
by an East Tennessean soldier.
"Well, my man,'' said he, "what do you
want with me?'1
"I want io get a furlough, rr.istEr, that's
what I want," whs the reply.
"Why do yon want a furlough, my man?"
Uiquired the General,
"Wall, I want to go home and see my
w ife."
"How long is it since you saw he. ?"'
"Ever since 1 enlisted ; nigh on to three
raont lis."
"Three months I" exclaimed the com
nianticr. "Why my good fellow, I have
not seen my wile for three years !"'
The Tennessean looked inciedulous and
drawled out : "Wall, you see, me and my
wifeaiut'hat sort I"
The Postmaster-Genera! of llie United
States once received au odd ofHciil com
munication ; the Baeboru postmaster, new
to his dunes, wining to his superior:
"Seeing by the legulat.ions that I am re
quiied to send you a letter of advice, I
must plead in excuse that I have been
postmaster, but a short time; but I will
say, if your office pays no better than mine.
I advise you to give it up." To this day
(hat lisiinaster-Gene.i al has not decided
whether bis subordinate was an ignoramus
or as quietly poking fun at him.
Spite of the old axiom about self-praise,
many aie of opinion thai the w.ild is apt
to take ii man ut bis own valuation. If
that be true, there is a church dignitary in
inibiyo somewhere in the young deacon,
whoso examining bishop felt it requisite
to send for tbe clergyman recommending
him for ordination, in order to tell him to
keep that young niau in check ; adding by
way of explanation : "I had the greatest
dsfiiculty. sir, to prevent him examining
me !" This not to be abashed candidate
for clerical honors promises to be ns worthy
of the cloth as the Ameiiuan minister who
treated bis village co'igiegation to one of
Mr. Beecher's seimons imawaie that, popu
lar Brooklyn preacher 'made one of his
hearers. Accostin'iini utter service, Mr.
Beechersaid : 'Tuat w ;vs a fair discourse ;
bow long did it take ymi to w i ile it ?"
"Oh, 1 tossed off one e ening," wa the
reply.
"Indeed !" slid Mr. B. echer. "Vell, it
took me much longer than that to think
out the fiatuewoi k of that sei:ion."
"Aie you Heniy Ward Beccher?" asked
the seinion stealer.
"I am," said that, gentleman.
"Well, then," said the oilier, not in the
kast disconcerted, "all I have to say is,
that I din't ashamed lo preach one of your
seimons anywhere."
We do not know if Coleman invented tiio
phrase, "As cool as a cucumber;" but be
makes tbe Irishman in "The Heir at Law"
says : "These two must be a lich man that
won't lend aud a boi rower; for one is trot
ting about in great distress and t'olher
stands cool as a cucumber." Of the two,
the latter was nioie likely to have been in
tending a raid on another man's purse, for
(be men whose "very trade is borrowing"
are usually, we might say necessarily, the
coolest of the cool ; like Bubb Doddiugton's
im peer Dions acquaintance, who, rushing
across Bond street, gieeted Doddiugtou
with : "I'm delighted to see you, for I atu
wondei fully in wan, of a guinea."
Taking out his purse, Bubb showed that
it held but half a guinea.
"A thousand thanks I" cried his tormen
toi, deftly seiEingtbe coin ; "that will do
very well for the present;" and then
changed ihe conversation. But a.slhe turned
to take letve. be inquired: "By-the by,
when will you pay me that half guinea?"
"Pay yon? What do you mean?" ex
claimed Doddington.
'Mean? Why, I intended lo borrow a
guinea of you. I have only got half; but
I'm not in a hurry fm t'other. Name your
own time, only pray keep it !" saying
which, he disappeared round the coroner.
"John Pbconix." the American humorist,
being one night at a theatre, fancied he
saw a friend some thiee seats in front of
him. Turning to his next neighbor he
said : "Would you be kind enough to
touch that gentleman with your stick?"
"Certainly," was the reply, and that thing
was done, but when the individual thus as
saulted turned, Phoenix saw be was not the
man he took him for, and became at once
absorbed in the play, leaving his friend
with the stick to settle matters with the
gentleman in front, which, as he bad no
excuse handy, was not done without con
siderable trouble. When the hubbub was
over, the victim faid : "Didn't you tell
me to tap that man with my stick?"
Yes." "And, what did you want?" "O,"
said Phoenix, wi(h impei tu: bable gravity,
"I wanted to see whether you would tap
him or not 2"
"Jack Holmes," a ma n-j bout-town, liv
ing no one knew how, w as once under cross
examinaiion by a certain sergeant at-law,
who knew his man too well. "Now, sir,"
said the learned gentleman, "tell the jury
how you live!"
"Well," said Holmes, a "chop or a
steak, and on Sunday perhaps a little bit
of fish ; I am a very plain-living man."
"You know what I mean, sir," thun
dered the questioner. "What do you do
for a living V"
"The same as you. sergeant," said the
witness tapping his forehead suggestively,
"aud when thai fails I do" iroing through
tbe pantomime of writing across his baud
" ItUie b;l ofsiuiT the same as you aiu."
ARE SLAVES BESIDE."
Equally ready to relinquish his loot when
there was no help for it was a Chicago
negro, caught by a poultry fancier in the
act of carrying off some of his live stock,
and challenged with : "What are vou do
ing with my chicken?" "I wu? gwine for
ter fetch 'em back," explained he. "Dere's
a nigger mini here what's bin disputiu'
along er me 'bout dem chickens. I said
dey wuz Coachin Chyniz an' he said dey
wuz Alab.M inar pullets, an' I wuz jestakin
'cm loun' fer ter stablish my nollidge.
Dey don't lay no aigs, docs dey, boss? "Ef
dey does, I'm mighty shamed of hustliu
'em rutin'. Aigs is scase."
"My lud, I shall not ask this obtuse wit
ness any more quest ious," said the angry
counsel.
"Brother," said Baron Mattin, "I think
you had belter not."
Here is a hint for our old friend the
clown in the pantomime. At the burning
of a provision store, the crowd helped them"
selves freely. One man giasM-d a huge
cheese as his share of the luggage ; rising
up with it he found himself face to face
with five policemen, and with admirable
P"S nee of mind put Ihe plunder into the
o licer'a arms, s tying: "You hadbettir
lake care of that, policeman, or some one
will be walking ofl with it."
Impudently cool as the darkey was he
must yield the palm for effrontery to the
Erie Railway guard whose interview with
Manager Jfisk is thus i elated iu an Ameri
can paper.
"You are a conductor ou the Erie, I be
lieve ?"
"Yes, sir."
"How long have you been on the road ?"
"Fifteen yeais."
"Worth some property, I learu F"
"Some."
"Have a veiy fine house in Oswego?
Cost you some thirty, forty, or liftv thous
and dollars?"
"Yes, sir."
"Some little money invested iu bonds, I
am :ld ?"
"Yes, sir."
"Own a farm ucar where vou reside?"
"Yes, sir."
"Had nothing when you commenced as
conductor on the road?"
"Nothing to speak of."
"Made the property since?"
- "Yes, sir."
"Been at woik for no other parties?"
"No, bur I have been saving money, end
invested it from lime to time to good ad
vantage." "Well, sir, what will you give to settle?
Of course you cannot pretend to say you
have acquired this proj-ei ty from w hat you
have saved from your salaty? You will
not deny that y ou have pocketed a groat
deal of money belonging to tbe railway
at least fifty or sixty thousand dollars?
Now, sir, what will you give to settle, and
not be disgraced as you ceitainly will be if
a trial is brought, and you are compelled
to give up the properly you rofess to own,
but which in reality belongs to the com
pany ?''
"Well, .Mr. Manager, I have not thought
of the matter. For several years I have
been running my train to the best of my
ability. Never looked at the matter in
this light before. Nevei thought I was do
ing anything wrong. I have done nothing
tnoie than other conductors; tried to earn
my salary and get it, and think I've suc
ceeocd. I don't know that I owe the com
pany anything. If yon think I do, why
there's a little diff.-ieuce of opinion, and I
don't want any trouble over it. I have a
nice family, nice father and mother, rela
tives ail of good standing ; they would feel
bad to have me arrested and charged with
dishonesty. It would kill my wife. She
has every conli, euce in me, and the idea
that I would take a penny that did not be
long to me would bieak her heart. I don't,
care anything for the matter myself; but
on account f my family and lelatives. if
you won't say anything more about it. I'll
give you say a dollar 1" Chambers' Jour
nal. A Touching Story Touching! ij Told.
In the year 18, as the mail train on the
Baltimoie and Ohio Railroad bound west
to Cumbeilaud, in charge of the late Cap
tain George A. Riwlings, conductor, was
approaching Doe Gulley tunnel the engine
struck and killed a cow belonging to the
widow of a watchman at that point who
lost his life in the service.
The accident skii brought to the scene
quite a number of the people living in the
immediate neighborhood, and among them
the widow of the watchman and her five
small children, who nere weeping most
piteously at their loss, aud using Ihe most
heart-rending expressions. RaAlings. w ho
was proverbial for his kindness of heart,
took up a subscription, the passengers and
train-men contributing, and lie soon collect
ed over seventy dollars and banded it to
the widow.
With tears in her eyes she turned to him
and said : "You will never regret this
kindness lo the ptKir widow and her chil
dren, and it will come home to jou some
day or other."
Time rolled on and the incident was
nearly forgotten, when one night Rawlings
left Cumlierland on his east bound trip in
a terrible rain storm, and after passing
through Doe Gulley tunnel, bis enginerran
blew for brakes in sharp aud quick blasts,
indicating sudden and unexpected danger.
The tiain Aas brought to a standstill
within fifty feet of an immense landslide
covering the track for a distance of fifty
yards, close to which a large bonfire bad
been built, and standing within a few feet
of it the widows with a blazing pine knot
in her band, waving it and shouting :
"Where is the couductor? W'here is the
Conductor ?"
Itaw lings s.vn appeared, and ening up to
him she said : "I told you yon never would
regret your kindness to the poor lone widow
and her children. I heard t he fall of rock
and earth in the cut, and I knew you were
coming down and I built a fire towaru you
of the danger. God blss the man who
tnought of the poor n idoiv and her children
when they were in trouble."
The scene cau be better imagined than
described.
This act of the widow saved the lives of
the passengers and train-men, and. to this
day, "Tommy Becket." who ran the "Del
aware" on ihe occasion, and who is still
running nn the Washington branch, ripe
in years, no doubt often t bink-i of I he widow
with tbe blazing pine knot, who sigualled
hiui at Doe Gulley tunnel.
THKearth. per day.moTsis .l.W1,$no milej
in its orb, 6ft,?45 per hour, and 1,1 lr mile"
per iniuute.
TOOTHACHE.
Gracious ! Godfrey ! how if pains me
Lordy ! don't ihat old tooth jump !
Seems as though ten thousand devils
Pried w ith crow bars round its stump.
Whew I can't some one give tne something
Just to stop this blasted pain
Hot-drops, laudanum, cloves, or hop bags ?
Quick or I shall be insane !
Stop that 'tarnal baby's squalling !
.lehew ! don't my tooth aehe sweet !
Darn the cat, I'd like to kill it !
Always under someone's feet.
Jove ! I'd like to fight with some "one,
.lust to get my jaw stove in
Fire! murder! Godfrey! Gunther!
Oh ! it's aching now'like sin.
Howling, am 1 ? Well, I know it.
And I gifess lhat you'll howl, mo,
If you had a blasted toothache
Same as this one troubling you.
Curse ! t know it don't relieve me ;
Wut I'm crazy with the pain !
Ain't there anything to ease it?
Let me try the hops agaiu.
There, now, gently place them easv f
Phew ! They're hot ! Just let 'em cool !
Well, put 'em on. You're bound tobtiruine!
There you've done it ! Darn a fool !
Eost in Magellan's Straits.
One might look all the world over with
out finding a coast more bleak, desolate
and inhospitable than that of Tena del
Fuego, and the southern part of Patagonia.
Owing to certain meteorological causes, the
cold is comparatively greater in tho south
ern than in the northern latitude ; icebergs
Pie found ten degrees uearer to the equrV.or.
In the Str.iitsol Magellan, which are about
the same distance from the equator as cen
tral England, the cold in winter is so in
tense as to be almost unbearable. Here
icebergs are found Hotling, and glaciers
larger in extent than any Switzerland can
boast of; the laud is entirely covered with
snow, dow n to the water's edge, w hile hit
ler, piercing winds rush down the clefts in
the mountains, carrying everything bcfoic
thetn, and even teaiingnp huge trees in
their passage. Not a pleasant coast this
on which to be cast away ; and yrt such,
in 18G7, was the fate of two unfortunate
men who formed part of the crew-of .her
masty's ship Chanticleer, (hen on (he
Pacific station ; and an account of whose
sufferings wo propose to l:ty before our
readers.
One day early in September a Failing
party hail been sent oil' with the hope of
increasing the ship's slock of provisions by
the addition of fresh (is!', which is he:e very
abundant. Tbe nets soon became so heavy
that extra bauds were lequired to haul
(hem ; and, as there appeared even then
little chance of the woik being over befote
sunset, the fishing p uty obtained pet mis
sion to spend the night on shore. Tents
were pitched, huge fires were lighted, with
the double object of allot ding warmlh and
cooking florae of the pioduce of their suc
cessful expedition ; blankets were distrib
uted, grog ws served out, and altogether
the party seemed determined to defy the
cold, showing a disposition to be jolly" in
spite of it that would have gladdened the
soul of (he immoital Mark Taplor. How
ever, after all these preparations to keep ofl'
(he effects of the biting frost, they were
compelled about nine o'clock in the even
ing to send oil to the ship for mote l.l.tukels
and provisions.
Two sailors, Ilenty and TlitMies, volun
teered to go oh the errand in the "dingy"
(a small two-oaref boit), and having ob
tained the desired things, they started lo
return ; but when nbouc midway between
the ship and the shore ths wind began to
rise, carrying the boat to some extent out
of hercourse, shortly after which she s ruck
on a sandbank, and iu 1 tying to get bet oil'
one of I he oars was lost. Soon ihey weie
di ifted out into 1 he strong cm rent. It was
now dark as pitch ; the wind continued to
rise, aud although ''' through the night
they made every possible effort to reach the
shore, when nioiuiug dawned to Ibeiralaim
they found themselves miles away from tho
ship, and powerless to contend any longer
with their one oar against the force of bv h
wind and tide. They were finally driven
on to the beach in a bay opposite Poit
Famine, a spot not less dreary than its
name.
The sea was so rough that here for a day
and a night our two men were comiele.l to
remain ; and when on the second day they
ventured to launch the boat, it was npset ;
nearly all their things were lost, and they
were left to euduie the intei.se cold with
out the means of making a fire, with uj
clothes but those they wore, and scarcely
any food. For a while they walked about
trying not Very successfully to keep up cir
culation ; and by-and by the feet of both
began to swell and grow so p.iiuful that it
was no longer possible to kc-p on their
shoes. Still, although suffering both from
hunger and cold (llenty's toes being al
ready frost bitten,i ihey kept up their spir
its in true British fashion, not for a minute
doubting that sooner or later they would
be picked up ; and true enough, on the
fourth day the Chanticleer was see u in the
distance under weight, and standing over
toward them. Taking the most prominent
position that could be found, they made
signs and tried in every possible way to
attract attention, but in vaiu. If Ihey had
only possessed some means of kindling a
fire, they might have succeeded ; but al
though thoso on board were at the moment
on the lookout for their lost nifssmatcs, no
one saw them; and the hope w ith which ihe
two poor fellows had buoyed themselves
up faded away as ihe ship changed her
ce'uise, grew ssnaller and smaller, and by
and by, late in the afternoon, while Ihey
still watched, altogether disappemed.
Although now their only chance of res
cue was apparently gone, and the last sciap
of food was consumed, jet tbe brave fel
lows did not despair. Their boat was very
leaky ; but ou tbe 5lh of September hav
ing repaired her as far as ssible, they
took advantage of liner weather to endeav
or to reach some spot w here t lie re would
be more probability of getting le.scued by
a passing ship, but they had scaiccly got
half way across the straits befoie there was
a terrific suow storm ; it blew a gale ; the
boat began to fill rapidly; and finally they
were blown back again into the bay, upset
in the surf and nearly drowned, being uua
ble to swim thtotigu having lost the use of
their legs from sitting so long in water.
However, they were tluown op by the
waves high, though by no mean riiy, "'d
in this miserable plight and under a pitiless
snow-storm, Ihey were forced to remain all
through the night. The next day they
njAuaged to eieet soiuslhuig, in the i'cu of
Terms, 52 per year. In ativunce
a hut, in which they might he down and
be to some extent j rotected from the
A-eather, which was mi boisiexms as to
render i' useless to attempt to lau. ch tbe
boat. For some days, owing to xtxsnr
and want of food, they were both veiy ill ;
but still hoping f..r bettor ffeatbei, tl-. y
kept themselves alive by eating seawetd
and rx'.ch shellfish as cuiid be found, moil
the ICth of SepttiniM-r, when Ihe weather
suddenly dealing, they again h,;:chffl
their small boat ; and this time, after a
day's haul toil, succeeded in reaching ti e
opposite side of tl estiai t, nlieie liny lia i
left the ship, which it is needless to s.y
was by this lime far away.
When first tho men weie missed, tockcis
had Lrcn Mied. s.mr blue lights but tied;
and ou the following day ti e cutler w :
sent to the west w aid. w bile the Chant ic'.t r
coasted along the opposite s:de ; 1 ..(,. t
men were constantly aloft ; but nothii
was to be s?cu of the missing nu n. l i e
next day the. ship had remained at Po t
Famine, anil exploiing paities weie scut .a
all directions. On the tl iid day they agaiii
weighed anchor, and examined a fresh
I'iecs of cast, tuM all to no put pese ; and
finally it was decided, with much legtet, 1
give up tho sca-ch, for eveiyone eonchidc.l
that the poor men must by (his time have
perished, even if ihey had Mirvhel tho
first night's C"ld, which no ene ou boa id
thought possible. Both men were geuci
ally popular, and g eat gi:ef was felt fr
their loss. Itntr.cdia e'y a stibsci ip-ion w ; t
staited by the whole ship's c mipany f r
the widow of tho one man aud the mother
of the other. Strangely enough, when the
sad nevrs leachid England, the.rormer, in
spite -f wbat stenied conclusive-evidence,
firmly refused to believe tbe assurance of
her husband's death. W hether the wife's
intuition of tbe more logical inferences of
every one else proved correct, events wid
show,
By the lime Ilenty and RitMies reached",
as we have seet); the opposite side of the
straits it was quite Vt k ; but on the fol
lowing day they found that the current bad
drifted them fourteen miles from Poit
Famine, toward which they had steered,
and for which p'.i?e ihey now started on
foot. Hera they saw iu I lie distance a ship
under ft cam going toward the Pacific; but
again all tii'oits to atltaet aitentton failed.
They k!iev of no sr Uk-moir tha they cuil l
hope to reach, an.' at this lough seasui
there was not the slightest chance of fall
ing in with any wand. -ring tribes ef natives'.
'Ihe only course le'tthem was to endure
tho co'.d, wait, as p.u'emly as might be, ia
the hope of s ene ship passing w ithin bail,
and to keep up w hat little life remained in
t'lem by chewing seaweed, and seeking am
devouiing (lie rr.i'.sse!, which fortunately
were to bs f umi in great abuud.;uce on
tho rocks. Afier a tune, however, ihojr
grevr so weak as to b i only just able l.j
crawl out of th place they had made 1o lis
down in, and every day tbeefloit to gather
their scanty iviui ishment grew balder.
Once nioic, o: Hi? 4t h of October, thty saw
a vessel pass ihiough Hie rtraits, bat were
unable to make any signals. Ou the 7th
both men had grown too weak to stir, and
nothing was left for them but to confront
death. The S.li day passed, the 5?ih, t'je
10th, and they were stiil sinking slowly
from starvation. On the 1 th, when they
could not possibly have lived moie than a
few boms longer, and hid become little
short of living skeletons, lh-y were picked
up by the officers of th.- Shearwater, and
a'. .nce taken on board, where, after le
rviving tl.3 mos- cuel il attention, both,
Al l oab sti'i st:!:c:i:;g greatly, began after
a time lo lecovvr. B-ing conveyed by the
Rheai water to Rio. they remained some
time in the bo-pi;;..! there, and finally were
se;it home invalid. -d ; aud yet both moy
lived to regain th i;- fi;!J stiei.gih. and to
serve as striking ...: v. pies of what tough
human nature ct i eud'-re in the shape "Vr
physical b.irds'ikis a;.J tn.;ii al anxiety.
They had Cotitiivcd. by a patience and on
etgy almost unprecedented, to lengthen
out existence for a s,.ace considerably over
a rnouih, with uootliei food than staweed
and shellfish : the last four days indeed
eating absolutely nothing ; while the whole
time exposed to intense cold, the roughest
weather, and ni ne "narlhips than it is pos
sible Tor those who have never seen that
barreu oi desolute region even to imagine.
Tai,E OF a Mt l.K "Speaking about
mules," leniaiked asix-f,oter from Harriet
county, as h cracked bis whip at market,
I've go- anui'.e at .o- which knu r a
ni::c i as I d., an 1 1 ant t l ea sotiub d
say Fm half a f v.l."
No ot.e said so, anrl he went ou :
"I've got disgrt-t d. When you come
dowu to kicking. I want to bet ou my
nm e. A fiietal came along and took din
ner w ith me the oilier day, and as he seem
ed a little down '.n ailed 1 took him out to
sec Thomas .Tcllcrson, my champion mule.
I was telling tl.e good man how tnat mule
could flip his hind f.-ct around, and he said
he'd like tu see a li;tl fun. He'd passed
his whole hfe in the South, but he had
never seen a mule ley bis soul into a big
tioie at kicking. Well,"' he continued,
after boriowing some tobacco, T to ,1c
Thomas out of (he stable, backed him up
again a hill, give him a cuff on the jr,
and we stood back to see the amusement.
It was a good place to kick his dn rudest,
and d'ye s'jiose he did ? In tea minutes by
the watch lie was ut f sight. In five
more we couldu't fctl uiui w ah a twelve
f.ot pole."
Hero the crowd began io yell and sneer,
and the nariator looked around and asked:
'Pecs anybody here think I'm lying?
Would I lie for a mule? Right here un
der my arm is a pond of tallow candles
which are to light the hole for me to po in
after Thomas ; and I got w.od not an ho ir
ago thai the hind feet of a tuuie Weie
Rtsekingemt of a bill thirty-iiHie miles .
the birds fiy fiom where my mule went in.
I'm shakey on religion gi iiil. iueu, buteur
family never had a lin in it,"
1!ao I.T.ru.K. Bad Iiopnnce easily
runs into bad deeds. Select any socicty
y.m please ; sn'tVr j.Miisdf lo converse m
i s dialect, to use h., slat. g, to speak in li,
diameter of one who iclishes it, and ymir,
moial seuse will veiy soon lower dowu to
its level. Becoming intimate with it yon
lose your honor of it. To be loo much
w i h bad men and in bad places, is ti t on'y
unwholesome I i a man's morality, I ut un
favorable to his faith and trust in Gd. It
is uot every man thai could live as Lot
in Sodom, and then bo Jit to go out ol it
under G-hI's convoy. This obvious princi
ple, of itself, furnishes a rvaou not i nly
for watching tbe tongue, but f.r tmvi
ooiself as ruo' js's.sio.e-oui of iLt coia."
paJ Of bad asSOfial'