m.
iii iii i i i i
b
A McPlKE Editor and Publisher.
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VOLUME IX.
EBENSBURG, PA., FRIDAY, DECEMBER 24, 1875.
NUMBER 48.
nVS! IT PAYS!!
f..i.iri-r.Mfrrhnl.
...hMH nn nil Hit lm.
toKper "
onf tni n . -n..ur!Ieg uiscuasion
w'tT
HE M'lEMIFIC AM ERIC
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he last
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HE WEEKLY SUN.
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uv.tta bunJreJ and sevetitr-sis is the Ctn-
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l iD(r. will he in pt.wpr at Wa-shiiurton,
tiMrnf the tare;itr. third tl-ctin of a
-t ,f the rnitet States. All of thfsc
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p-uwully the two latlnr: and all of
u i-.ri oiiiiif 1,-oiiiit'vio.i witn tni.i win
' 'i nd tresbiy reported and cxtiouuded
ir i s.
ujfi-ii'i.m il..ue of HLTrpTtatirca.
I ': t:! line of ino'iir.- otimoitI veur. nim
"t""- teni an.l diliirently trivesti
:ercrruDtion an I milet. of (Jhvnt'iI
hi.'4tiMi: nu w.ll. it i4 to he huue.1. lv
!' '') fir a Heir anil lillir ti.tfl.i.1 in
Itit. ni. hit,,rr. of all thia 'l'nr Si-w will
' f f te ati'l H.-eiirate aooiintH. fur-
n i t j nil li ru'.inurillj
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If ll.i.l t . .1 . " . . .
r - ....... ii. i i t n-iNii-mi.il election, w.tn
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- '""l iiMirattoii ir a tnir.l
f "rnn. pinn.ler, and still more an
,rI vnn h li: !..., 1.... ... . L.
i, uii:i.rtuimmci.l llirianjr
eiertiiisMrmt candidate, t'on
"l 'he .ihj-cn. those who rea.d Thi
i. hv ti, . . .... ...
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PTICE
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1
fta. Ml Ml I
lu-ranna
v.f .i? uisir N-fi... oy paying
a wii00001" remain ntr un.
...lainfl
hXl of eirrry lmily to In.
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Frotn the Catliolic Record for December.
' A C IIRISTM AH IITM!f.
Welcome to Thee, heav'nly 3tranger,
Glailsome shall Thy advent lie ;
Th Thy hirtli-place was a manger,
Natitre mw her Gol in Thee :
AVhilst Thy lowly home was wanting
All that earthly joyn coitltl liring.
Seraphs hymn of joy were cbatiiiting.
Unto Thee, earth's new-born King.
In Thy arable birth-place lowly,
Angels waited Thy behest;
, Whilst Thy mother, maiden holy,
ClawpM Thee to hor potlest breast ; '
Shepherds who their flot ks were tending
ln Bet hlehem's lonely plains by uight;
Saw the lieav'nly host descending.
Filled with woud'ring, strange delight ;
They their flocks: left unprotected,
Wand'ring o'er the plains afAr,
Through devfona ways to Thee directed.
Hy Thy radient natal star.
Wiae men, too, with presents laden,
Jewels rare, and perfume aweet.
From lands afar rich roliea array'd in,
Came to worship at Thy feet.
And fn adoration kneeling
On Thy happy natal day.
We like them :o Thee appealing .
"Turn not Thy sweet fat e away ;
God and Oinl-Iike, condescending.
An on the day that saw Thy birth,
Mercy, (with Thy justice blending).
Show unto uk, sous of Earth !"
Lighten Thou the load of sorrow.
Ease of pain the piercing smart ;
Iet n.s hope and comfort, borrow
From the lore that- fills Tliy Heart,
Men's tierce passions ali assuaging.
O'er the earth let discord cease;
The "Iwtter part" let man engnge in.
Guided by the hand of peace.
OLD MOXKY-llAGS.
A CHRISTMAS STOUT.
Roger Flint was a hard man hard as
steel.
"This is the way it stands, Mr. Beggs,"
he was saying one day to a man in his of
fice, "a poor man is no man at all, and a
rich one is a fool if he spends what he has.
My motto is, get money. Get it honestly,
if you can. If not get it, and keep it."
"And ye got it," quavered Mr. Beggs,
with a'raeauing twinkle in his watery eyes.
"Ye got it and kept it, Mr. Flint. Oil,
your' re a sharp one aieg'lar kuife-edger,
you are."
"In my younger time," continued Mr.
Flint, with a Laid smile at lhe other's
compliments, "I had some wild notions
about generosity. But I soon got over
that folly. I lost money by it. If people
will bo poor, let them go to the almshouses.
If they are too proud to do that, let them
starve and get out of the way. Charity !
Humbug ! Why should I be' robbed for
the sake of a set of lazy rascals who are
never satisfied?"
Mr. Beggs expressed his entire approval
of these sentiments by a series of inarticu
late croaks.
Now, there's a fellow," continued
Flint, pointing at the shabby clerk, "whom
I took out of a charity institution when a
boy. I fed him, clothed him, and taught
him a good business. But was he grate
ful? Not he! He complained of hard
work, and had vague ideas on the subject
of pocket money. But I have crushed all
that nonsense out of him. llaveu't I,
Jacob?"
"Eh," said the shabby clerk, starting at
the sound of his harsh voice, but not turn
ing his head, "Oh, yes, lie has crnxhed
me I Oh, certainly !" His depressed man
ner and careworn face sufficiently attested
the truth of his words.
"Now," said Flint, turning suddenly
upon his friend, and nearly upsetting him
with the shock, "what did you come here
for to-night? Not to be sociable. Not
you. You are up to some game, Simon
Beggs : I see it in your face. Perhaps. I
know what it is already. But out with it,
anyway.'
"What a known. 'un you are !" croak
ed Beggs, rubbing his lean hands togeth
er. "What an up-and-down sticker 1"
Beggs shifted uneasily in bis chair, and
seemed very uncomfortable. "1 ourdaugh
ter is a very fine gal," be quavered ; "an
uncommon flue gal. She ought to have
a good husband, one as would be very
lovio' and kind to ber."
"Like yourself, for instance," returned
3Ir. Flint, with an irouic smile. "Well,
go on.
"Suppose," continued Beggs, more easi
ly than ever, "suppose, for geym.ent's
sake, I was to want ber for my wife, what
little sum would you feel disposed to give
her?"
The smile left Mr. Flint's face, and a
grim frowu succeeded it.
"Not one cent, sir ! not one cent 1" he
answered, sharply. "Take her as she is
or let her alone. I'm in no hurry to part
with ber. She earns her own living and
more, and is a good daughter to me be
sides." Mr. Beggs shrank into his shrunken
self at the other's vehemence, rubbed his
bead feebly, and groaned. Then, if such
a dingy old scarecrow could be said to do
so, he brightened up and croaked : "Oh,
she earns her own livin, do she? And
more I Not as I would expect her to do
that after we was married. Oh, not And
more! See here, Mr. Flint, I'll take her if
she's williuV
Mr. Flint's face expressed considerable
satisfaction as he answered :
"She will be willing. She will do
whatever I think is best for her. Jacob,
go call Jessie."
The clerk, who had been rattling the
papers on his desk in a strange, nervous
way, got hastily off his stool and left the i
room. I
Presently he returned with a pretty,
mild-eyed young girl, who came and seat
ed herself silently at her father's sjde. If
ever features of stone made a miserable
attempt to look kind, Roger Flint's did
then. And when he spoke, there was
something very like tenderness iu his grat
ing voice, absolutely. - r
"Jessie," he said, ''have you ever tho't
of marrying?"
"If I have, father," answered she, with
a slight blush, ' "the thought has been so
speedily banished by it determination never
to leave you, that it could hardly be called
a thought at all."
"A girl's whim, and of no weight in the
plans I have formed for your benefit. All
your life I have kept before your eyes the
value of money and the utter wortbless
ncss of everything else without it. There
fore, in choosing a husband for you, I
have cast aside all romantic and impracti
cable considerations, and secured for you
money 1' -
The girl's face had grown as white as
death, and she sat staring at him with
wide open, frightened eyes.
"Simou Beggs," continued her father,
his voice growing dryer and harsher as he
proceeded, "is no very handsome object to
look at, I admit ; but he is rich and a
driveling old dotard, and the woman that
marries him can easily control both him and
his money, if she will."
Beggs grinned and chuckled as if he had
listened to the most glowing panegyric
possible. The girl made no reply. Once
while he spoke, she turned her eyes toward
the clerk at hisdwsk and then was motion
less. "Come," said Flint, with a grim attempt
at jocularity, "he has but half a dozen
yeais in him at best, and then a rich
young widow, eh, Jessie?"
"I would rather die, as my mother did
a thousand, thousand times rather!" said
Jessie, in a low, choked voice, putting
both trembling hands upon his at in.
"Nonsense!" retorted her father hat sh
ly, shaking her off. "Once married, you
will laugh at this folly, and thank me for
disregarding it. Now go up stairs and
dry your eyes, for the matter is settled, I
tell you."
She arose, and looked fixedly at him a
moment. Then, seeing the iron determi
nation in his face, she turned, and with a
low sob left the room. When she was
gone, the clerk, who had beeti standing
near bis desk with eleuched hands and
flushed countenance, hastily resumed his
stool and worked away harder than ever.
"Don't seem 'ticklatly 'tached to me, do
she?" groaned Beggs.
The impatient reply upon Mr. Flint's
lips was interrupted by the opening of the
office door and the entrance of a young
lady, muffled and furred against the weath
er. What a bright little creature she was!
What eyes ! no sharp and sly as a bird's
now soft and gentle as it is possible for
woman's eyes to be. What a firm little
figure, carried with an air of dignity that
means jnst nothing at all! What cutis!
What lips ! Gracious!
"How do you do, Mr. Jacobs?" she
said, addressing the clerk first of all, and
then bowing to Mr. Flint. "And this is
your friend ?" she centinued, looking
straight into Mr. Beggs' face, as he wrig
gled to his feet to be introduced. "I can't
say that I am happy to know htm. Any
relation to the Crow family? No, indeed !
A very strong resemblance, then. Is Jes
sie up stairs, Mr. Flint? I will go tip and
see her, if you please." And with a laugh
and a shake of the dark curls, she was out
of the room leaving Mr. Beggs breath
less and crest-fallen.
"I don't like Mrs. Heyward, if that's
her name," he mumbled, trying to recov
er his composure. But she had so startled
and shaken him that presently he sham
bled off home.
When the door rattled behind him, the
clerk got down from his stool and ap
proached his master with a bit of paper in
bis hand.
"Will you write down the value of a
soul ?" he said, raising his eyes.
"The value of a soul ! How should I
know the value of a soul ?"
"Oh, don't you?" returned the clerk,
still with his eyes doggedly cast down.
"I thought you roust, because you sold
one jnst now your daughter's."
Flint started forward as if he would have
struck him ; bnt he restrained himself, and
died, in a threatening voice :
"Jacob Stirling, if -a are a fool, don't
make it so plain, or you will get iuto
trouble. Now, go to bed, you beggar 1
Be off, d'ye hear ?"
Jacob made no reply, but went slowly
away, looking more careworn and de
pressed than ever. And Mr. Flint, stand
ing before the Are, with an expression of
doubt atiJ satisfaction, strangely mixed,
upon his featnres, fell into a reverie.
A week rolled on, and one morning
Roger Flint enteied his office, and in tones
which he vainly endeavored to render as
harsh and stem as usual, said :
"Jacob, have you seen Jessie this morn
ing?" Jacob answered : "No."
"Then," exclaimed Flint, suddenly
breaking down, "she has left us for what ?
Jacob 1 Jacob I See, here is a note which
she left upon my table ! Read it."
With a shaking baud, Jacob took it and
cead :
"My dear, dear father doubly dear to
me now that I have left you try, oh, try
to believe thai I am not so sinful as I
seem ! Try to think that I strove hard '
indeed I did to obey your wishes, but had
hoe strength to do it. Ob, my dearest! now
that by my own weakness and wickedness I
have set a gulf between us, perhaps never
to be crossed, I beg and pray you to shake
off that fearful love of gain which has made
us all so wretched, and be your own good, .
gentle self again. Be kinder to Jacob
poor Jacob ! for I loved him, father J and
forgive, oh, forgive your child !" J
The two men stood staring at each other, '
with a fearful thought burning in their
eyes, for a long, breathless moment. Then,
as if he had dashed it aside with bis clench-
ed hand, the depressed, shrinking air was
gone from Jacob ; all that was manly and :
noble fn him came uppermost in his strong
sorrow, and he, whose patint drudge be 1
had always been, coweied before his dilat- i
ing eye. I
"Wretch !" he shouted, "see what your j
accursed money has done for you. You j
would have your daughter's life a hell for j
it ! You would have given her, bdy and
soul, to a thing a thousand times more de-
graded than a beast for it ! You have held I
it up to her daily as au idol to be worshiped
before Heaven ! Are you satisfied?"
"I meant it for ber good indeed I did,"
groaned Flint.
"Oh, man, man 1 what are you now ?
Old, alone in the world, standing in your
grave, hated and despised by all of your
kind ! Now, go to your money and seek
consolation in it if you can. Prostrate
yourself before it : will it bring her back
to you, or to mo, who loved her footprints
on that dirty floor more than yon loved her
soul? Pray to it, weep to it: will it make
ber what she was? Ob, poor, misled, ill
used gill !"
S crying out as if his heart were broken,
he sank into a chair and burst into tears.
For a long while the old man stood
silent, with a bewildered look In his face ;
then he started towaid the door, bareheaded
as he was.
'Where are you going ?" asked Jacob,
detaining him.
"I am going to find my child," he said,
brokenly. "I am going to biing her back,
and try, through all the years of my worth
less life, to atone for tho wrong I have
done her. Jacob, will you eo with me?"
For many days after this people won
dered at. two stiange figures whom they
encountered iu the streets a haggard,
white-haired old man, supported by a
younger one, who wandered hither and
thither, on broad thoroughfares and in nar
row byways, peering with eager eyes into
the faces of all they met. But no trace of
her they sought so anxiously was found.
Night after night they placed a light iu the
office window, vaguely hoping that she
might see its glimmer, and, feeling the
longing it expressed, return to them. But
she never came.
Avarice, in Roger Flint, had so sapped
and mined his nobler feelings, that when it
was torn out of him, at one fierce clutch,
it left him weaker than a child to bear his
trouble. Worn with fatigue, heartsick
with fruitless expectation, he broke down
completely, and took his bed with no wish
to rise again. And Jacob Stirling, more
manly in bis patient sorrow than he had
ever been before, sat by and tended him.
"Jacob,"' be said, one afternoon, a few
weeks after bis daughter's disappearance,
"Jacob, I dreamt last night that our poor
girl had come back to us, and I was weep
ing bitterly to think of all the wrong and
sorrow I had brought upon ber young life.
And I thought that she put her arm about
my neck and whispered: 'All a dream,
dear father ; be comforted, for it was all a
dream.' Jacob," he said, suddenly inter
rupting himself, ' I wish I could see her
before I die."
Jacob made no answer.
"If she ever returns to you when I am
gone," he continued, with a sigh, "take
her in, shelter her tenderly from the world,
keep her from her own thoughts, and be a I
brother to ber. God knows she will need
it ! Tell her that her father loved her, iu
spite of his sin and folly. Tell her that be
never blamed ber, but himself, and that
his only wish was that he might see her. to
ask her pardon, before he died. Will you,
Jacob?"
"1 will," answered Jacob, in a low voice.
Then, arising and going into the office, be
sat himself down at bis old desk and rested
his head on his arms, in gloomy thought,
lie had been so but a moment, when the
door opened and Mrs. Heyward entered,
and "though the day was dark, a sunbeam
seemed to have entered, too.
The smile left her lips as she saw the
haggard face he turned toward her.
"What is it, Mr. Jacob? Are you not
well?"
"Yes" he answered, indifferently, "I
am well."
'. "And Jessie?" she inquired, with a
singular look.
"She has left us" be cried, brofcenly.
"Don't ask me more."
There were tears in the little woman's
eyes and yet she was laughing, too.
"That wretched old father of hers"
A rl. m mA mA, " ha int.Ai-riinf.Ml
"kinder and better in every way, but fail- '
ing rapidly under the shock.
"Failing V eohoed the lady, turning ;
very pale and trembling very much. Tueu
without another word she turned and ran
out of the room.
Night had fallen again,' and the old man
was lying on his sofa in the little back
room, with Jacob sitting silently near him,
when the door opened, and three persons
came in. They were Mrs. Heyward, a
tall young man, aud a female figure, close
ly veiled.
'Mr. Flint," began the lady, sharply,
"you are not the mean, covetous, hard old
man you were, are you ?"
"No," answered Flint, humbly.
"And you would be kinder -to yonr
daughter if you had her back again, would
you?"
"Yes. But, God forgive me, it is too
late to talk of that !"
"Then, there !" she cried, choking and
gasping in her emotion ; 'Take her."
And, with a loud cry, the veiled figure
felT at the old mau's side and took his head
to her breast.
"My child," he cried, weeping bitterly,
"my little child !"
"A dream, dear father," sobbed the
girl ; "all a terrible dream, it seems. For
give me for leaving you."
"Tell him," said the tall young man,
laconically.
"Listen, you bad old creature," said
Mrs. Heyward, twisting ber dear little face
into all sorts of shapes to keep from cry
ing, too. "One uight, I came here and
found your daughter nearly distracted be
cause you were bent on marrying her to
that hideous old crow friend of yours.
When I knew that it was for his money, I
was sure that you would never soften to
any entreaty she could make. I was mad,
I raved and stormed awful, and then went
home and told my old boy all about it."
Her old boy, otheiwise the tall young
man, nodded admiringly.
"I askod him if nothing could be done
to save her from the misery which you
were driving her. 'Let her elope,' said
he, in his dear stupid way ; 'let her leave
the old tascnl, and if he loves his child, as
most men, however hardened, do, he will
relent. And so we planned between us
how it should be doue. I ieisuade her to
meet him, unknown to you, and at last he
consented. My husband," laying her hand
proudly on his arm, "whom you have
never seen, was the man she ran away
with, and our borne was her asylum. She
pined for the father who was not deserving
of her love ; she pined for the home that
had never been a happy one, and and"
here the little creature sobbed and laughed
together "we have brought her back to
yon, this bright and merry Christmas day,
and never, never wrong her so again."
When she had finished, Roger Flint
slowly arose and, deliberately turning
about, pummeled his pillows until he was
out of breath. "There," he said, beaming
all over, "lies old Roger Flint, that schem
ing old miser, dead as a door nail. And
here," tspping himself, "is the new Roger
Flint, who, with - God's help, will bo a
kinder aud a lietter man." Then how he
laughed ! such laughs as hadn't come out
ot that dry throat iu years. How he hug
ged them all, aye, eveu the tall young man
hi n. self! How he made a perfect, jolly
dervish of himself about the room 1
"Jacob," he said, stopping suddenly, "I
owe you a great debt, accumulated iu long
years of harshness and cruelty, I'm going
to pay that debt, Jacob, every penny of iu
And here" leading forward his blushing
daughter "is the first installment." Then
turning to the others, he continued : "I
have worn spectacles, made of the lowest
passions of my heart, all my life. They
have blinded me to all the good aud gentle
things of which this world is full. But
they are gone, broken, cast aside forever,
and oh ! my friends, I am a happy old
man."
So had sorrow the power to resurrect
those nobler things, buried under m.iuy
misspent years, and make them live again.
So had sorrow the power to lay the first
broad stone of a clear wide road to heaven.
Jioah Sunday Timet.
How to Choose Christmas Gifts. A
writer says apropos of choosing Christ
mas presents : The usual practice iu choos
ing Christmas gifts is to start out with a
full orlniounaie and come home with it
empty, having scoured a dozen book,
print and curiosity shops to "Dud enough
pretty things to go round." The gift sent
to one friend might have been offered with
equal r ie'y to a hundred others.
Now b..Jy (woith remembering at
all ou Christmas Day) has a fancy, or
whim, or association, which a trifle will
recall and gratify. Now that we have so
little money, let us set our brains to work
to remember these whims or hobbies and
to find the suggestive trifles and our word
for it, we will startle our friends with a
more real pleasure than if we had sent
them the costliest unmeaning gift. There
must be a nice discrimination, too, in as
sorting these trifles. There are certain
folks whom we know to be sorely in need
of articles for the wardrobe, and to whom
we must, therefore, give utterly useless
follies because they know that we know
it ; and there are other and better folk in
like condition who will receive a collar or
a pair of gloves with as hearty and sincere
feeling as though the offering were a strain
of Christmas music. There is one cousin
whose gift must smell of tb shops and the
dollars paid for it, and another who if we
send her our worn conv of Geonre Herbert.
or the little broken vase which has stood '
for years on the little study table, would
receive tbem with wet eyes and find them .
fragrant with old memories.
0.l KAM A ( ItAlS.
Old Santa Claus sat alone in his den.
With his leg crossed over his knee.
While a comical looked peeped out at his
eyes;
For a tunny old fellow was he.
His qneer little cap was tumbled and torn,
And bis wig it was all awry;
And he sat and mused thf whole day long,
While the hours went flying by.
He had been as busy as busy could be.
In filling his bag with toys;
He had gal tiered his nuts and baked his pies,
To give to til- girls and lioys.
There were dolls for the girls and whip for
the boys.
With wheeltmrrnws. horses and drays.
And bureaus and trunks for the dolly' new
clothes.
All these in his pack be displaj s.
Of candies, too, both twisted and striped,
He had furnished a plentiful store,
While raisins and tigs, and prunes aud
grapes.
Hung up on a peg by the door.
"I am almost ready," quoth he, quoth he,
"And Christmas is almost here;
But one thing inure I must write them a
book,
And give to each one this year."
So he clapped his specs ou his puffy nose.
And, seizing the stump of a ten,
He wrote more lines in one little hour
Than you ever could read in ten.
He told them stories, all pretty and new.
And wrote them all out iu rhyme;
Then packed llieiu away with his box of
toys,
To distribute one at a time.
And Christmas eve, when all were In lied,
High flown the chimney he flew;
And stretching the stocking leg at the top,
He clapped in a liook for you.
A. CHRISTMAS LEG EX D.
It was Christmas eve. Tho night was
very dark and the snow falling fast as
Herman, the charcoal burner, drew his
cloak tighter around him, and the wind
whistled fiercely through the trees of the
Black Forest. He had been to carry a
load to a castle near, and was now hasten-
ug home to his little hut. Although he
worked very haul, he was poor, gaining
barely onotigh for the wants of his wife
and his four little children. He was think
ing of them, w hen he heard a, faint wail
ing. Guided by the sound, he groped
about and found a little child, scantily
cl t lied, shivering aud sobbing by itself in
the snow.
"Why, little one, have they left thee
here all alone to face this cruel blast ?"
, The child answered nothing, but looked
piteously up in the charcoal burner's face.
"Well, I cannot leave Iheo tit-re. Thou
would'st be dead before the morning."
So saying, Hermann laiscd it in his
arms, wrapping it in his cloak and warm
ing its little cold hands iu his bosom.
When he arrived at his hut, be put down
the child and taped at the door, which
was immediately thrown open, and the
children rushed to meet him.
"Here, wife, is a gnest to our Christmas
Eve supper," said he, leading in the little
one, who held timidly to his finger w ith its
tiny hand.
"And welcome he is," said the wife.
"Now let him come and warm himself by
the fire."
The children all pressed round to wel
come and gaze at the little new-comer.
They showed him their pretty fir-tree,
decorated with bright, colored lamps in
honor of Christmas Eve, which the good
mother had endcaveied to make a fete for
the children.
Then they sat down to supper, etch
child contributing of its poitiou for the
guest, looking with admiration at its clear,
blue eyes aud golden hair, which shone so
as to shed a brighter light in the little
room ; and as they gazod, it grew into a
sort of halo round his head, and bis eyes
beamed with a heavenly lustre. Soon two
white wings apeared larger and larger,
and then the beautiful vision vanished,
spreading out bis hands as in benediction
over them.
it j.- -r r it .it.
Herman and his wife fell on their knees,
exclaiming, in awe-struck voices, "The
holy Christ-child !' and then embraced
their wondering children in joy and thank'-
f i ., . ,. , , ....
fulness that they had entertained the
Heavenly Guest.
The next morning, as Herman passed
by the place where he had found the fair ! J""e 'lecitfcing tti voice; and the wo
child, he saw a cluster of lovely white ilecidi
flowers, with dark green leaves looking as lican. But most of the gills (dash their
though the snow itself had blossomed. frizzes and cutis) make their minus up,
Herman plucked some, and carried them fJ'-dfe eaily in life, to t:.ke any one who'll
reverently home to his w ife and children,
who treasured the fair blossoms and tend
ed them carefully in I en, en. biance of that
wonderful Christ inns Eve, calling them
Chrysanthemums; and every year, as the
time came round, they put aside a portion
of their feast and gave it to some poor lit-
tie child, according to the words of the
Christ: "Inasmuch as ye
. ,
have done it
unto one of the least of these my brethren,
ye have done it nuto me." Florence Scan-
nail, in Si. Nicholas.
When the Earl of Biadford was brought
before Chancellor Lough borough to be ex
amined upon application for a statue of lu
nacy against him, the chancellor asked him:
How many legs has a sheep ?"
"Does your Lordship mean a live or
dead sheep?" answered Earl Bradford.
ra.
"Is it not the same thing?" said the
Chancellor.
f TT1V I lAI'fl " tOld UfSffM-H dnA In
much difference
A living sheep may have
. . . . .
four legs; a dead sheep has only two.
There are but two legs of mutton : the two
i u .. viw
lore tacs aie snoumetes. '
TIIC OLD CONSTITUTION.
A corresxndent writes from Annap.
oils. Mi., thus) amusingly: "A full
length figure of Gen. Jackson has been
received, and ist U day beiivg era-ted
on a suitable pedestal in "th grounds
of the Naval Academy. If any one
thinks that Andrew Jackson should
not have a place in the naval school,
he will l e enlightened hy1 the follow
ing bit of naval history : During J aek
i son's first term, the famous frigate
Constitution was undergoing evten
i sive repairs at the Charlestowu Nuvy
. yard, under the suiervisku of -Com-
modore Jesse O. Ulliot. This thor
j ough-going Democrat caused the old
I fiddle-shaped rrow of the historic ship
to be taken down, and a wooden
! model of the conqueror of Pakenham
j to be raised in Its place. At this sao
; rilege the old Whigs of Boston grew
indignant, and the figure was hardly
L comfortably settled in its niche, be
i fore- an intrepid marine scaled the
heights of the Constitution and cut the
j President's head off. The indignant
I Elliot stuck it on again, and set a
! guard to watch it, but the same wily
executioner eluded the watch ona
dark night, and the headless trunk
met the eyes of the confounded Com
modore on his rounds the next : morn
ing. A second time the head wa re
covered by tfce indefatigable Elliot,
and rumor hath it that the President
sent him to sea iu command of the
Mediterranean squadron, to save his
own head and reward the unquench
able zeal of his admirer. Even Jack
son, however, couli hardly pat him on
the back, when the party zeal of this
same officer led him to fill his gun-
j deck with jackasses on his homeward
voyage, aud to set on foot and to sub
scribe to a testimonial service of plate
to be presented, not to the President,
but to Commodore Elliot. A court-
martial sentenced him to four years
suspension from duty, but it appears
that all the jackasses in America must
have been convinced of his unselfish
wish to improve their breed, and
signed a petition in his behalf; for we
find that he was restored to duty be
fore the expiration of his term of
sentence. The ngrure-head was, how
ever, suffered to rest in peace, and
seems to have followed, unmolested,
all the subsequent fortunes of the an
cient ship, until its arrival at Phila
delphia, where it is now being set in
order for the coming Exposition. As
it would be manifestly inappropriate,
with all deference toiLe coe trary opin
ion of the eccentric Commodore, to as
sociate Andrew Jackson with timbers
I that speak more audibly than the
oak of Dodona, of Hull and Cain-
bridge, of Chauueey and Stewart, of
Decatur and Somers, the figure of the
President has been removed, and
sent, at the request of the Superin
tendent of the Naval Academy, to
Annapolis. The figure is bareheaded,
and wears a dress suit of the time,
over which an ample cloak falls, gath
ered at the throat with the usual cord.
A roll of manuscript is held in the
right hand, and the left is buried in
the breast of his brass-buttoned and
voluminous waist-coat. The likeness
which the features bear to the orig
inal is not bad, and tho hair, at any
rate, stands up w ith perfect arckarolo
gical accuracy."
A maiden once said, "I'll uot mate with
a man who has not foituiiu gteal." bo
she pouted and waited, ti.d scorned to bs
maud. She's a maiden et age, 4J.
Jetc ork Commercial Anrertiter. A mai
den once thought, I cannot be bought
I'll many a man who is ooor." but tha
man be drank beer, died di ivini: a "keer "
j Kl,d twelve orphans went nt from her
i door. ' l is I e;ter to wail and be aged 43
J than tti marry the aveiagenmn;. in there's
i trllbe f,. ihv mwii,M1 Vlio'll wed
the veiy first pel sou she can. Louimcille
Courier-Journal. A tuaidoii once cried,
'""V"' .lia,v' bt tide, I'll many a man
I who is Wise, but, his wise Views abseiled
' IlC .niWd iU(X tll'U.d . ,h.l
snii of the prize, ican. ,aj. was the
, case; 'twas an aw ful d.sgmcc," said th
lei himself lie "done;" the point is, tu
some one's wife. And the M.-r silly chaps
who are caiiylit in their traps will hud out,
wheii it is loo late, that a girl who was
charming can be an aiat niingly tei rible ill
tempered mate. Only I his much is rert'aiu
once back of lhe cm lam. (he Minim ..an
who marries will find that the ft-ilow who
weds will deseive all he gets -atid get all
? d',se,v'! '' its kind Inttr-Oecan.
c i"aiucns an swear t their mir.
,.,ni i.i, i,.,;.. ,, .n . , ' J . . .
wed any scstro of a li-el : esiieeiallv nn.
v it.iii, i in-1 ji in- uiesr h mev
w ho at women pokes fun. and rhymes in
prose num. so tn.tt no one would kuow it.
Phila. Times.
Yestewtiav f tie noon a ''icksbnrg boy,
says the Herald, entered the sh,p where
his father works and excitedly announced
'Oh ! pa ! ma's awful sick!"'
"What's the nvitiei ?" asked the father
"Oh, sheV awrnl w! ife, mid she'8 nhakl
ing all over, and there's lots of women in
j there, nn.l tliov w-i - : . .
"Can she talk jet ?" inquired the
j er as he rolled do'wu Ll cetes.
e !"
fath-
t -
v.ii .-ii a . a . i . , .
eoii.ffhomsr .."i r mow, then,
going home I said the relieved man.
a r- ,
GitorND noo don't see his shadow Ion r
when worked iuto tauae.