ff IT WllTf YfHTf b A. McPIKE, Editor and Publisher. 'B IS A FREEMAN WHOM THE TRUTH MAKES FREE, AND ALL ARB SLATES BESIDE." Terms, S2 per year. In advance. t v . mmmsmm mkixarjrA Ywmmmmm egT .S i, W 1 I a"- I If I II )LUME IX. ) QUIT BUSINESS! WORTH OF rT AmTTTlTl ine ULUimiNii . .tt styles and brstqcamty, for Men , JJ,.'? wlil be sold without reserve, at V CLOTIIIIIG STORE f ontxttife the I'ost Office, bllNSTOWN, Xa C wiTSan.H'AFS, toget her with a large r ? Juihts. DRAWERS. Overalls. H,,w. lies. - : mnnit the business, will sell tn7.n l a I tHr ! In the (.tore. THKAH t A THll HiTK FOB F1FTKES K VsT. I,u't fun?1'1 the place across the f,m the Post Office and as 1 am deter- out. Tu;will get GAINS! Bargains! BARGAINS! town, Aug 20. JOHN 187S.-2IU. F. BARNES. llin I .nd If It If Impure the whole sys III 1 1 I f will be diseased. Yon ean JULJ not purify a stream while the ijoirr"l'l: neiiner cu ji iuihi to the human body while the blood (s con , lfV(,i of disease to all parts of It. There l lill'V the U1A UI, and nature will heal No remedy lino ever been discovered ha ttti so great a number of per in a- (urrt as LINDSEY'S 10TEB BLOOD SEARCHES ! Buiil!? acqrairirt a national reputation Tor futon Affections, cancerous h mation. Erysipelas, lioils, i tuple, V leers. Sore t.yes, .VrtW Heart, Tetter, Salt Jitteum. Mercurial and all Skin Diseases. -mp.lv Is a VciftaMe Compound, and can- i n the" DK'ft trnler infant. Ladies who suf- th !eniii(aTinir macaws innwn an r k rtA!!TS will find speedy relief by nsirrg fcflr. Beware of counterfeits. The lenu- our mime K. r.. r r.i.i-r. n.-i . i iiia- -H.n the bottom f each bottle. ;.le hr all Unionists and Country Dealers, A. A. Bakkb k Sow, A gem. Kbens i. Sept. 10, laT5.-3in. TO YOUNG MEN. i.h(d, in a fralol Envtlape- Price 6 cts. reinre on I he nlnre. Treatment .'al Cure of Seminal Weakness, or Sper ra. In'lU'-eil hv Self-Abuse. Involuntary It. Imeoteney. Nervous Iebility, and 1m- : to Msrrmire g"nerny; t onsumptlon, .-.anJ Fit s : Mental and Physical Inea- f Mr KMMf.K 1 J. LLIjV t-n W b-r the -ilreen Book," &c. rl l ni.'W-sed author, in this admirable b ri arly proves from rifs own experience t j.lu! cunx-quences of Self-Abuse may be irfTBi.ved without molldne, and with r n "untical operations, bougies. Instru "r ri.rdials : pointing out a mode of ve i-erfiin and eftectual. by means of rt urt'-r-r. no matter what his condition miy Tore himself ceajly, privately and :: r ie-l, in a plain envelope, t any ad- rf-fnii.i. on receipt, or six cents, or two A-Mre's the runnsners. HAS. J. V. KLINE & CO., VT Bowery, New York, P. O. Box 45M. IT HANDY. Reliable Family Medicine. iKF.A. livsertery. fhlera. Summer Com . CraBi.s. tc., rjutckly cured by the use of JtRllKI.I.A'1 Km.! Blrkh.rry:Rwtaad Bhabarb. I'. v'.l trie.! remedy, entirely vegetable, I "k. inirk and certain In effect; can f :! in the irmst urgent eases : may be b heTuarget Infant aa well as to adults. .vo rAMrwm on opium, I p'.ea.nt extract an I readily taken by I It h of(en faved life when physicians irM Keep it In the house and use In ' a-k f it fa a trial. lon t let your I it y q ofT with aometMnfr else, fray It. I niI.i (,y IiruiKts and Store Keepers Kit this State. Prepared onlv by HAN- HR(i..2uiju Market ait., Philadelphia. YOU GOING TO PAINT ? rill Chemical Paint s m i can. of all siies and colors, ready to e "li m and u. Any one can be hi. remake a hq.ines hy uslna; it. It l ' ' '". Try a sample can. Sold at MOXS. BALDWIN1 Jt rn . Wool Street, ITT.n. Rn. PA. m.) ''LAIN SPRING WAUI (NS, I l iht Wonn, aii kinis 0f carts and fMl WAGON WORKS, '.:. i.""1 A11"hcDy river, 3 squares Pu;tn,AU?8henytity'W C. COLEMAN k. SON. I ' Hu.ineM Education. -uuress DUFF & SONS. Pittsburgh, Pa. r.eoa.) i yTTZTz B) 'Ml.JiojITIILT 1 1-1 U .TWr''nre 7 Draw.nn the l&th Tickets each. for Prise Address I ri.E Lnt'' Particulars. Ad. UTS.4101 t'ity, Wyoming. 'S, JOIIWTHV Br rn ftST'SERS. r (s.iu.: TOnney on rinn.l .ai-n,,n. iP. MURPHY. Oashler. "-AN.M.D., tlaB saVsniSTl SB . !'tiiT:..B.To.wn Hall. Julian street -uia be made BUCK. 4-4.-tf.l lel M. D. rSf Of Jnu CAMOlLtOW PA. M r, uu More. Nlgl 1- " Uie reaidr-noe of Jou (April, l79.-tf.J Tradesmen's Industrial Institute OF PITTSBURG OPEN TO THE PUBLIC Octorer 6tl to Novefliter 7th, 1875. PREMIUMS VALUED AT $50,000. NOTHING EXCLUDED! Every Department will be filled with the most interesting Inven tions atul Arts of the A.ie. Music, by first-class lianils, will be in at tendance front lO A.. M. until 2 I AT. during the entire Exhibition, Unparalleled Attractions Every Department. In ALL KINDS P FARMERS' PRODUCTS AND LIVE STOCK. Reduced Fares on all Rail roads. 9-24.-1 m. John Dibekt. ....John D. Eobkbts. John Dibert & Co., Corner Main and Franklin Sts., JOHNSTOWN, Io-. Accounts of Merchants and other business people solicited. Drafts negotiable in all parts of the coun try for sale. Money Loaned and Collections Made, Interest at the rate of Six Per Cent, per annum al lowed on Time Deposits. Savings Deposits Books issued, and Interest Compounded Semi annually when desired. A:General Banking Business Transacted. Sept. 10, 1875.-6m. PITTRBl'Rttir, PA. For npwards of twcsity year the leading busi ness Coll eye f the TJaited States, affords nne quailed advantages for the thoroogh, practical ed ucatlop of young and middle aged men. Students admitted at any time. 4 For circulars, address, J. O. SMITH, A. M., Principal. WThe 'IRON CITT COLLEGE Is the onf Institution of the kind. In this city, that we recom mend to the public patronage." Presbyterian Banner, Pittsburgh, Pa. Ie-17.-3m. XECUTOR'S NOTICE. Estate of Thos. Qoodisham, dee'd. The undersigned Executors or the last will and teatament of Thomas Ooodkrhajs, late of Susquehanna township, Osmbrla county, de ceased, hereby notify all persons Indebted to the estate or said decedent that payment must be made without delay, and those ha vlnsr claims against the same will present them properly authenticates Tor settlement. 8AMUKL A. FA RREK, I JOHN SOMERVILLB. f emora. Susquehanna Twp., Sept. 10, 1875.-3t- SSIGNEE'S NOTICE. Notice la hereby given that Bernard Kelly, of A!les:heny township. Cambria county. Pa., by deed of voluntary assignment, has assigned all the estate, real and personal, of the said Ber nard Kelly to F. J. Parrish, of Gallltsto. in said coiintr. in trust, for the benefit of the creditors of tbesald Bernard Kelly. All persona, there fore, indebted to the said Bernard Kelly will make payment to the said Assignee, and those hnvlng claims or demands will make the same known without delay. F. J. PAKRISII. Assignee or Bernard Keuy. EXECUTOR'S NOTICE. Estate of Joseph Mover, dee'd. Th nnderslrned Executors of the last will and testament of Joesra Moris, late of Clearfield township, Cambria eonnty, deceased, hereby noti fy all persons Indebted to the estate of said dece dent that payment mast be made without delay, and those having claims against the same will present them properly authenticated for settle ment, atv. ini'itna, lExecatora. Clearfield Twp., Aug. , 187.-et. ADMINISTRATOR'S NOTICE. Estate of SajHTEI. Henbt, dee'd. Letters of Administration on the estate of Piarib Hckrt, late of Ebensburg borough, Cambria county, having been granted to the undersigned, all persons indebted to said estate are requested to make Immediate payment, and those having claim aaainst the same will present them properly authenticated for set tlement. THOMAS DAVIS. Ebensburg, Sept. 3, 1875.-4U NOTICE. Patience is no longer a virtue with me, and therefore all per sons Indebted to me by note or book acoount are hereby notified to call and settle up before October 1st. 1875. All who fall to comply with this notice must not complain or be surprised to Ond their accounts In tie handa of an officer for immediate collection, as I must natb mok it. GEO. HUNTLBr. Ebansburj, Bept. 10, 1875.-3t TkTOTICE AH persons are hereby A' notified not to meddle with a team of horses (black and dark brown), wagon, harness and spreads lea with Christopher Noel nntil we are reaay to taae the same away. riNlfET k JOHNSON. ChWt Creek, Sept. 18, lT.-3t. EBENSBURG, PA., FRIDAY, OCTOBER 1, 1875. NUMBER 3G. poetical oejss. Of single examples of elegiac verse more no table than their author's rame, a writer In the Boston "Transcript'' has given to print the fol lowing. In the bOD that the nnaettlml nnpct.lnn whether It was written by Moore or his friend Joseph Atkinson, or by somebody else, may be thereby helped towards solution : AH EPITAPH. If every lot was prosperously east. If every life was like the gentle flow Of some sweet music sweetness to-the last, Iwashiswho. mourned by many sleeps be low. The sunny temper bright where all Is strife; The simple heart that mocks at worldly wiles: Light wit, that plays along the calm or life. And stirs its languid surface Into smiles; Pure charity, that oomes not In a shower, 8udden and loud, oppressing what it feeds, B,i.t.,,kw thr dew' w,tD rradual, silent power. Felt in the bloom It leaves along the meads; The happy, grateful spirit, that Improves And brightens every gift so richly given. That, wonder where It will those It loves. Makes every place a home, and home heaven ; All these were his. O thou who read et this stone, TVhen ror thyself, thy children to the sky Thou humbly pray ear, ask this boon alone. That ye like him may live, like him may die. Beyond religious literature proper, the sol emnities and memorial services of the Muse seldom dwell long in popular esteem unless commended by the highest genius. Poems of sentiment, passion, and animated description are those that people read with most avidity and remember longest. "Though they may forget the singer, they de not forget the song." It is not known who wrote these lines, now aboat twenty years old : THE OLD IX) VE. I met her she was thin and old She stooped and trod with tottering feet; Her locks were gray that once were gold. Her voice was harsh that once was sweet; Her cheeks were sunken and her eyes. Robbed of their girlish light of Joy, Were dim ; I felt a strange surprise That I bad loved her when a boy. But yet a something In her air Restored me to my youthful prime ; My heart grew young and seemed to wear The Impress of that long lost time: I took her shaking hand in mine Its touch awoke a world of joy; I kis-ied her with a reverend sign. For I had loved ber when a boy I 8imple and innocctit as a nursery rhyme,tbose two stanzas have a certainty of enviable popu lar applause and literary honor for the author who should be able to do so as well la succeed ing efforts. Indeed, simplicity of expression may be regatded as an inexorable condition of poetic long life. It is characteristic of every poem given in the present article, and Us possi ble disregard by some of the writers in later mistaken attempts to be more sophistical, may account for much of the single piece celebrity Involved. What could be simpler, for instance, than Mrs. Barbauld s lines : Life I we've been long together. Throuirh pleasant and through cloudy weather; 'Tis hard to part when friends are dear. Perhaps 'twill cost a sigh, a tear ; Then steal away-give little warning ; Choose your own time Say not good night, but in some brighter clime Bid me good morning. Tet, according to Henrv Crabbe Robinson's Diary, Wordsworth esteemed those lines above all other verse by tbe sarrie author, and their fame outlives the whole remainder of the vol ume in which the first appeared. A TERRIBLE ALTERNATIVE. "You seem to have been struck by that picture," said rny old friend th Colonel (for as I don't mean to betray family se crets, I shall speak of him as the "Colonel" only), at whose cosy nook in Buckbam sbire I had quartered myself for a few days. "Well, yes," I answered ; "regarding it as a picture, I should say it is by no means the best of your collection, but, regarding it as a portrait, there is something about it that 'fetches' me. It is not that tbe face is either handsome or intellectual, but there is a strange, weird something about it which the artist seemed to have caught fresh, from the living face and transferred to the canvass, and which all after-art bad failed to point out. I am sure there is some grim seeret connected with that pic ture; you may as well tell me what it is If it is a family secret, I promise to keep it sacted." "Well," be answered after a moment's reflection, "there is a painful story con nected with it. The portrait is that of my grandfather Dr. Mat bias, let us call him. lie was one of tbe physicians-in-ordinary to George III, which position be occupied long before be had reached middle age. He, was a courteous genial, kindly man, full of those social qualities which make a man a favorite of society. 80 much I have heard. When I knew bim things were different. In 1770, full of high spirits and pleasing anticipations, be went on the con tinent for a month s holiday ; be came back at tbe end of it an altered roan his genial nature clouded with an ineradicable gloom. "He purchased and retired to this place and turned his back upon the world, and though be was no world scorner, nothing would induce him to enter it again. He was a widower, and his only son ray father was then a boy at Harrow. You may imagine this was not a lively place for a high spirited young fellow to come home to. They saw little of each other. In due time my father married, and I was born. Years passed, aoS one wintry night, when I was abouteighteen years old, we received a telegram summoning us here. We came and were Ebown into tbe room where you Siept last night. The old man with the stamp of death upon his ta, was propped up on pillows where be had lain for hours, his eyes fixed on the door, watching for us. As we entered tbe room tbe filmy eyes brightened ; his eager, outstretched arms trembled as we touched him. With the damp death dew on bis brow, his voice quaking, and his whole soul shuddering s he lived over again one terrible moment of bis life, he told us the story which I bad better fut together in my own words." It appears that during that momentous visit to the Continent he went to Naples. He was received by tbe beet society, and most hospitably entertained in the most social and political circles, where he passed i many pleasant hours discoursing and dis cussing intellectual and scientific subjects chemistry, surgery, and once, among these things, the use and misuse of poisons cropped op in tbe course of conversation ; and some one present a gentleman of some note and importance asked what was the quickest and easiest death to die. The subject was freely debated. One evening he returned fiom one of those pleasant gatherings, and in a reflec tive mood of mind, sat for an hour looking over the mooolit city and the beautiful, world-famous bay. It was near midnight when two strangers were shown in to him, and requested his immediate attendance in great urgency. A carriage was at the door; be got in first, they followed him, pulled down the blinds, and the carriage rattled away. They seemed to drive a great distance, turning and turning many times. Once be inquiied, "Had they far to go," and re ceived tbe brief answer, "No." At last they drove into tbe court-yard of a great bouse. The door opened as if by magic They ascended tbe wide stone staircase, and on reaching the first landing they threw open a door, and for a second be was almost blinded by tbe blaze of light that streamed out upon him. Tbe door closed behind him as he stepped in the room. He took in the whole aspect of the room at a glauce ; it was gorgeously furnished and brilliantly illuminated with wax candles ; at a table near the heavily curtained win dow a man of stern, commanding appear ance sat writing. He raised bis head as they entered, and pointing to the far end of the room, exclaimed : "Your patient lies there, sir." My grandfather's eye followed the di rection of bis finger, and observed a wo-' man stretched upon a couch. Where bad he seen that face before ? Slowly it dawned upon his memory. A few days back be had been at tbe theatre, and, glancing around was struck by a beautiful fair face, which, for tbe time, fascinated him; be thought it the loveliest there. He looked on it again now ; but, how changed I The hands were clasped upon the breast, as though in prayer; a dumb, white terror was written 011 the face ; and in the great, uplifted eyes there was a hopeless, despair ing agony, sickening to behold. He inquired what was the matter bow she bad been attacked, and seeing that she was gagged, he begged them to release her mouth, that she might answer his ques tions, adding : "I must know something of the sym toms before I can attempt a cure." "Your business here is to kill, not to cure, doctor," said one in a strangely sad tone which accorded ill with his stern, fearful phrase. "Your patient has spoken her last words in tb is world. She is doomed to die by a secret, though just, tribunal, but we must temper justice with mercy and spare ber the shame and public dis grace. You can cause ber to die easily and secretly, therefore we have brought you here." "A doctor never travels without bis tools," resumed the stranger, and as he spoke he turned tbe lace back from the tender throat, and pointing to it added significantly, "Open the jugular vein ; itis the easiest and quickest way to die." My grand father started back amazed and horror-struck. These were the words he had uttered during one of those pleasant gatherings at the house of a celebrated Neapolitan a few days back. "How dare you propose to me such a crime?" he exclaimed. "Iam an English man, and will not eommit murder." "Pshaw 1 your nation produces as many honorable criminals as any other. Do your work, sir, and quickly r "I refuse to obey jour cruel command. Let me go." Tbe man who had been writing, and until now had taken no part whatever in the scene that was passing around him, then rose and joined tbe group. Laying his hand lightly on my grandfather's shoulder, he said : There is no escape for you, Doctor; every moment you hesitate you prolong that woman's pain. She must die ; and you can dispatch her with painless speed." "What if I refuser You cannot force me to commit so foul a murder." He pointed to two swarthy figures (either soldiers or liveried servants of some noble family my grandfather could not tell which), who had been standing motionless by tbe couch, and answered : "Then those faithful fellows will dis patch you and afterwards dispatch her; tbey are not professionals, and their work will be clumsily done. If tbe operation be not performed upon your patient before the clock strikes, you know your fate your life without saving hers. She Is doomed ; no power on earth can save her." It was vain to speak or to expostulate with those fiends in human form. He felt tbey were as stern and inexorable as fate. It was as ciuel as it was horrible and I cowardly. Five men assembled to witness the professional murder of a young and beautiful woman 1 The clock began to chime the quarters ; it. was about to strike. At a given signal tbe statue-like figures stepped forward and rapidly uncoiled a rope with a noose al ready made ; they were about to slip it over his head and bang him to a beam which ran along the centre of the celling. The horror of facing a sudden and violent death seized him his death would avail her nothing for whom he died. His senses were in a whirl ; be threw up bis hands and sprang forward. "I'll do it r he exclaimed, and fell on his knees before her. "They will have your life ; I can not aave you, child ; but can shield you from their rough and cruel hands, and put you painlessly to rest. For give me, forgive me, for it is in mercy to you I do this cruel deed." The white hand went out to him and closed over his in a soft, forgiving clasp ; tbe agony died out of the sweet eyes as they rested one moment on his face ; then with a low sigh she closed them and turned away her bead. In another moment her young life was ebbing slowly away. He remained by her side, holding her band in his and watching till all was over. He would not for a second leave her with those stern men, lest a wounding word or rough touch might disturb her on her way from this world to tbe next, ne was conducted from the place in the same way as he had entered it, and when his conductors took leave of him they suggested that it would be well if he would leave Naples with as little delay as possible. This forced mur der for such it really was lay upon bis conscience to the end of his life, and filled it with one long remorse a living night mare for that scene was always present to his mind. The change that bad puzzled us puzzled us no more. He could not car ry bis secret to the grave with him, so he gave it into our keeping. "It's a terrible story I" I exclaimed. "And, unlike most terrible stories, it is true," he answered. "Come out for a breath of fiesh air and sunshine, to blow this gloomy subject from our senses." MARY JAXE. JUST IN TIME. A young surgeon, having tried in vain to get into practice, at last fell upon the following expedient to set the ball to roll ing. He sprang upon his horse once a day, and rode at full speed through tbe town. After an absence of an hour he would return, and carry with him some of his instruments thinking if he could im press bis neighbors that he bad practice, they would begin to place confidence in bis ability. ,A wag, who mere than suspected tbe deceit which he was practicing, determined to know the truth. He accordingly kept bis horse in readiness, and tbe next time the doctor galloped past his door, sprang on his steed and placed himself on the young gentleman's trail. The doctor saw the man following at his heels, but did not, at first, evince any uneasiness. Atlength, however, he thought it advisable to turn down a narrow lane. The pursuer followed on like an evil genius ; but tbe d octor was not discouraged, as another road lay a short distance ahead of him, down which be turned. Tbe other kept close at bis heels, aud the doctor grew impatient to return borne. There was no bouse by tbe way at which he could afford any pretext for stopping. In the meantime bis saddle-bags were with him, and he was otherwise equipped for business, so that he could not return, in the face of his neighbor, without exposing tbe secrets of the trade in tbe most palpa ble manner. Every bound of his steed carried him farther from his home, and tbe shades of night began to fall on bill and dale. Still the sound of horse's hoofs were thundering in his ears, and he was driven. to his wits' end; but just as he turned the angle of a wood, he beard a low moan. A man lay prostrate near the fence of a meadow, and blood gushed from a fearful wound in his arm. He had cut an artery with his scythe, and was in dan ger of immediate dissolution. The young doctor sprang from his horse and staunched tbe wound. Bandages were applied, and his life was saved. The pursuer had also thrown himself from his horse, and as tbe surgeon tied up the last bandage, he looked up in his face, and said : "now lucky, neighbor, that I was able to arrive just in time P The wondering spectator was silent with awe ; and after assisting the wounded man home, he told such a miraculous tale to tbe wondering town folk, as secured to tbe young surgeon a reputation not only for skill, but also for supernatural prescience. Thus did the merest accident contribute more to bis advancement than years of studious toil could have done ; and the im pertinent curiosity of a waggish neighbor opened for him a path to business which the most influential patronage might never have been able to provide for him. A Question. Twelve persons stopped at a hotel over night. On asking their ; bill the next morning found it to be $12. Tbe old men paid f 4 each, the young men paid 50 cents each, and the young women paid 23 cents each. How many old men, how many young men, bow many young ladies were there traveling in the crowd ? Can any of our readers figure it out and send us the answer? There is no foolishness about some of tbe fathers in Dubnqne county, Iowa, who have marriageable daughters, and they know how to precipitate business when the fiuit is ripe for plucking, aud hangs wasting in sweetness when it should be plucked. Matters were brought to a climax with a rush at a certain fanner's residence in Vernon township recently. A young tiller of tbe soil had for some months been paying most assiduous attentions to one of bis daughters, but he was such a bashful, mod est young chap, never having been much in tbe company of girls, except this one, that be had never been able to raise bis courage sufficiently high to pop the all important question. He had gone to tbe bouse in which his adored lived, upon at least twenty different occasions, resolved to know his fate ; but when ushered into the presenoe of his fair one, in whose keeping be had placed bis heart, his courage would invariably "go back on him," and he would return to bis lorely'room in greater suspense thau before. Upon the evening in question be had de termined that, come what would, he would tell his Mary that he loved her. He would once for all decide tbe matter ; but, as upon each former occasion, be could get the matter no nearer than bis throat. There it stuck, and he had just determined to gulp it down and give up the siege, when the door opened, and in stalked the girl's father, who advanced to where they were sitting, and thus addressed them : "I came in to put a stop to this infernal foolishness. It ain't the courtin' expenses that I'm looking at, for coal oil's cheap, and wood can be had for the haulin' ; but I'm sick aud tired of this billin' and cooin' like a pair of sick doves, keepin' me awake nights, and it's got to be slopped right here. Mary Jane, look up here. Do you love John Henry well enough to marry him?" "Why, father ; I I you must" "Stop that darn foolishin I" roared the old man. Answer 'yes' or no' an' mighty quick too. It's got to be settled now or never." "Well, but father, you don't know if you'd only wait, " "Dry up ! answer 'yes' or 'no.' Speak." roared the old gent. "Well, yes, then ! there now I" and Mary Jane again hid ber face. "That's business ; that's the way to talk. Now John, look here look up here or I'll shake you &11 to pieces. Do you waut that gal ' mine for a wife ? Speak out like a man now." "Why, Mr. ain't this rather a I mean, can't you " "Speak it out, or out of this house you'll go head-foremost 1 I won't wait a minute longer. There's tbe cal, and a likelier gal ain't in tbe State, and you just beard her say she wanted you. Now, John, 1 won't stand a bit o' foolin' ; once for all, 'yes' or no' I" "Well, yes sir, I have been presumptuous enough to hope that I " "O, cuss your soft talk I the thing's set tled now. You two blasted fools would have been six months more at that job that I've settled in five minutes. I never saw such foolin' as there is among young peo ple now-a-days. Ain't like it was when I was a youth au now good-night. You can talk the thing over, an' you an' me, John, '11 go town to-morrow and get the license. Soon be time to go to plowin' no time for love-makin' then. Good-night, good-night; hope it wasn't too rough; but I was determined to fix the thing up one way or t'other;" and the old man went back to bed. Now that the ice was broken, the young people laid all their plans for the future, and John felt just a little bad at the com fort be bad lost, when Mary, looking at him shyly, said : "This would have been all right four months ago, John, if you hadn't been so skeery. I know'd all the ti me that jou wanted to ask me ; but it wasn't my place to say anything, you know." No cards. O YEZt O YEZI ' All who have had the privilege of being drawn on a jury must be familiar with this quaint old Norman French expression, used by the sheriff or bis representative, when opening court. But few have ever been lucky enough to listen to such an ex ordium as came upon the astonished ears of the Mansfields and O'Conors of Musking um, from the lrjts of the compatriot of Bis marck, as thuswise : HE OFESED COCRT. Wm. Ruth is Sheriff of Muskingum county, Ohio. He is also of t lie Teutonic persuasion. When he was elected three years ago he was in blissful ignorance of hisdntics, and was greatly troubled about the proper way of ojenhig court. He con fided his troubles to Congressman South ard and several other young members of the bar, and they coached J.iim in bis du t'es giving him to understand that be was a higher official than the court itself, and that Judge Frazier, of the Common Pleas, was in the habit of interferine with the sheriff in a manner that no well regnlated sheriff ought to tolerate. "Py shimmtny is dot so?" said the functionary. "Veil ynst vait till I opens the port mid he find that Bill Hoot isu not Pense Lloyd by a chug full." When court came on Sheriff Iiuth verified his prediction. For weeks he had been practicing on bis opening speech, and when Judge Frazier turned to him with a look of judicial dignity and said, "Mr. Sheriff, open the court," Mr. Ruth struck an attitude and began: "O yesh, hear ye eferpoddy und de pcebles in sheneral, that the honorable Gort of Com mon Sessions, in un for de honorable pod dy of Mooskingum gounty.ish aow in pleas, und dot its doors are open for to hear the gomblaints of all the yeomanry nnd pom mo n und take gognizance of all mishde meanors und " "Hold on there 1 Hold on, Mr. Sheriff. What isthe meaningof all this rigmarole?" exclaimed Judge Frazier. "Sbust bold a leedle on, Mr. Shudge," re turned the sheriff. "I'm Bill Hoot, tbe sheriff of this gounty, und I know my pishness, und all you whohaf any pishness to transact mit dis gort und ony gauses to present for its honorable gonsideration will now approach und dat same known, und und may Gott Almighty haf mercy on your sonls, nnd all of you off mit your hats right away guick !" By the time the sheriff con cluded even Judge Frazier was roaring with laughter. It took the constables half an hour to restore order. The first case was called, and the Judge said : "Mr. Sheriff, call Peter Jones, John Smith, and Sarah White three times at the door." Ad vancing to the door and opening it about three inches, pitching his voice to the highest key, he began : "Peter Shoties, Shon Smit, Sara Vite, Shon Shones, Peter Smitt, Sarah Vite, Sarah Shones, Shon Smitt, Peier Vite, gome'right into court mit you dree dimes. Your Honor, they gooms now." Judge Frazier. "That will never do. Call them three times, one at a time." Sheriff Until. "Peter Shones Shon Smitt, Sarah Vite, dree dimes, von at I a dime, gome into wourt mitoutanvdplav." Judge Frazier. "That's worse than it was before. Call one of them three tiroes," Sheriff Ruth. "Mr. Shudge, yust look-a-bere. Dot is vhen you make foolish mit me. You say to gall deru dree dimes vonce, und den you say gall dem vonce dree dimes; und den you say dot isli worsb und worsh. Oof you vant Peter Shones, und Shon Smitt, und Sarah Vite, vonce dree dimes or dree dimes vonce, you pettei gall dem yourself. I not stand dot kind of foolish ness." Sheriff Knth(retired to Fred Dit mer's and refreshed himself with sundry glasses of lager, while the constable called the witnesses. now It Came About. There is a bit of romance quite racy in tbe early life of the two elder members of the family now very emiuent in French affairs. It is rela ted thns : In the middle of the winter of 1838 a fire broke out in the female seminary at Limo ges, France, and spread with such rapidity that it was feared all the inmates would perish. The firemen, however, brought out all, as they supposed, and then, as is nsual, the crowd watched, the destruction of the building. Suddenly there was a cry that oue little girl had been left in ber room. There was an immediate rush for the doors and windows ; but the flames drove every one back. As the excited spectators were beginning to pray for the unfortunate child a tall girl, with disheveled blonde bair and flowing nightgown, cut through the crowd, and with a shriek of, "I'll save her I" that rose above the sound of crackling timbers and falling masonry, dashed into the door way. Many of thos apparently never ending moments elapsed. The populace prayed for twoouls with closed eyes. A loud hurrah, that was prolonged to the echo only to be repeated again, attracted the at tention of tbe devotees, and tbe pale-faced girl was seen skipping through the flames with tbe terrified child. A few days there after. King Lrouis I'bilippe sent theheioine j a gold medal for her bravery, and a captain of the French army, who had witnessed the j girl's pluck, begged an introduction. The 1 captain is now President of France, and tbe brave girl Madame MacMabon. A Pretty Tocou Pi.ro. One day last mouth, when trade was dull, a Vicksbuig grocery clerk procured a piece of sole-leather from a shoemaker, painted it black, and laid it aside for future use. Within a few days an old chap from back in the country came in and inquired for a ping of chewing-tobacco. The piece of sole-leather was tied up, paid for, and the purchaser started forborne. At the end of the sixth day he returned, looking downcast and dejected, and walking into the stoie be inquired of the clerk ; "'Member that terbacker I got here the other dav?" "Ves." "Well, was that a new brand?" "Xo same old brand." "Regular plug-'erbjcker, was it?" "Yes." "Well, then, it's roe ; it's right here in my jaws," sadly replied the man, "I k no wed I wns gittin' puity old, but I wus alius bandy an bitin' plug. I never seed a plug afore this one that I couldn' tear to pieces at one chaw. I sot my teeth on to this one, and bit and pulled and twisted, like a dog at a root and I've kept biting and pulling for six days d thar she am now, the same as the day you sold ber to me f "Seems to be a good plug," remarked the clerk, as he smellcd of tbe counterfeit, "She's all right ; it's me that's falling?" exclaimed the old mad. "Pass me ont some fine cnt, and I'll go bonie and deed the farm to the boys, and git ready for the grave 1" Twixs. Max Adder tells a new story the gist of which is as follows : Bill Slocum was nominated for Mayor of Pencader, aud one day, in a street conversation, be re marked, "I've got to win." He pronounced it. "I've got t'wiu" and old Mrs. Martin overhearing it imperfectly, went arcund and repotted that Mrs. Slocum had twins The boys at once decided to serenade Bill and that night tbey marched out to his house, with a band playing "Hail to tbe Chief," several ward clubs some fire com panies a group of white-dressed girls in a wagon, a lot of banners and plenty of en thusiasm. Bill made a speech about tbe canvass and then there were shouts of here's the twins !" and the like. Bill said there was a mistake, but the band sarcastically played, "Listen to the Mock ing Bird," and the boys shouted londer for the twins. When tbe truth prevailed the assembly dispersed in disgust, and Bill was overwhelmingly defeated at the polls. As industrious colored citizen of Rome, Georgia, was lately overheard by' a renre tentative of The Commercial, of that town thus to complain : "Neber seed sich times since 1 been born. Work all day and steal all night, and blest if I can hardly make a