9
Q t A A
U;' if.1 P
i A TilcPlSt Editor and Publisher
HE IS A FKEEMAS WHOM THE TEUTn MAKES FREE, AND ALL ARE SLAVKS BESIDE,
Terms, S2 por year, In advance.
OLI MK IX.
EIUvNSllUllG, PA., FRIDAY, AUGUST 20, 1875.
NUMBER 30.
jr a i ri:u tisemkxts.
r)0 TO 510,000
., 4 ! n Si'.rk I'm il-'stos mid :til
bo ;.". pjaoPiT.
t , J ; i ; . . .'M t aa rti., neni tree.
I u-t. - V. a'.l Street, New York.
T;. F. BURNHAM'S
WATER YHEL
: v 1 !. i vcttr iiS'i. inl ut
. .,!, ,n t hi- f i'ntnt Oflro,
1 i I .. . : : 1,-k proved to lie the
. i l, :. lit.ldi. I'ri-
r r ! i : 1 1 :t n v otlur ftrst
. a ,. ' ! u;.i!.-t lr--i.
i I.I l.MI.'vM, Yoi.k. Pa
i
I j : J l r . ?i- S .1 I '-j- lirini:i?M.
i t;l.V. Uli'll'iri.u
i , K s-:vh .i r.u.i.s. N. .
-.,..,-
-:i ' n f c r
f
l'S.
. i. ' ..
; - on ! ;'i 1 i Ii : i..
ii I
i .
vi irk a :: 1 t !." w, .p s
' r . : t, -.v.
iu'- ! k. a -'i
' . - t s x 1 , ! t , s
' v :!.' ; til':.-"
a ' . ..n i . r.r,.
I - e-1' . I'a.
... .1 :n- 4. ) T;i.-Hm.
r' !-- t!:e 1 Ifr,
; nr.- t.e v vo e s vs
- a I . oil c.i ii-
'. ' -' r. a ei 1 1 : 1 t ii"
: . "I im part Ufoo-1
: v. :; ; !. I.N... ! is e..:i
- -.: ;,:-. I i,. I i, a-.-.'
' ' I ' lo . i ; leal
' - - " - i.- i. .:; -. "v-r,
- ' -i i.'.i r "I i i oi.i-
' J i
I.v'r LL Cu SEARCHER !
il r-: r.'ati n for
; ' ;s-. f'ffarrroif.'
'' '-j'-iti't. ilt',ls,
' 1 ' !. :;tw .'',
!. i ..,.;.. s;!!t
If..: "-J S-.
" ' - ' ' ' '" 1 ' ni!!.l. am! ra n
. " r iii' Mii. I.ad;"S tin, suf.
'' -.... know ft as '?
' ,.' ' !"' 1 -1" ! rel,.-t I v iis:i,ji
(' I'-. 'I'll.' !fc!ll.
1 - ! I. :.!!:, .s. ft)., J-,t.
- ' ' :: - .. -i! -rs.
" v - . -. i '
!'
' ! ! f : ( i t
- I f t a, r-
I " i4
' . t r
i. .... i
' . i . x I ' .
' ' '. i ;' "',.
" I I ATS I V.
J ' u . : . v
I ,-i -siioi .nr t '"m-
- i --'J : .-'1 I V t lie use ,,(
I . V
Vi,rr.vK't nnd Klmharh.
,:! " .'- . ' a' ire y v.-iiel at-'",
:'-'t ' f , n in ,-:,., -t : , Jn
:ir.- nt cases . riiav t.e
Mal.t .is W, l a, ut.
. ' I 4 rt "t and r-a.lily tak"n hv
( -avi" ,,.
. '' m 'h- houienti i us,, in
,. '' 1 ' i' ti trial. 1 1. , n't let v..r
' '(! "otii.-thinj-iiu'v it.
.'v.' and store Kepern
'. '''' I'lred nlv hv H AM
" -rK.-i .s-,.( Piiilttdeii.hla.
"i-ici:,, , nrtrc.n,
i.r i i 1 'iu,tiiw, Pi.
l( ; -I'.l.i, l o-k's stri.. Nitl)t
- the r. sid,., -f ,,f
I April t, lcil. U.
SHERIFF'S SALES.
IV virtue .f sundry writs of Vrni. Krpnn.
nnd h i. ',.. issncd'out-of the Iistri"t Court
ft Common pica i.f C 'iihrtti cniiniv nri'l tome
liireelod. tli, I.- will In- cxpiwcil fi "I'lUdie Sale
lit 1 l,- i ipi-ni House in Johnstown, on TfKsn v,
tin- 'MHi hiy of Al fjrsr, 17., ,.t 1 o'clock, l.
M., ihv l.ilioM-intf real i-stute, to wit :
A r I. the ri2h'. title and intprcst of Jacnh H.
LayNm. of. in and to a lot or around itiuitp In Yn
lt'r township. t':imtria couniv, lN-nn'a front in ir
on tli- I U.. and tioundi-.f in- the lands of Ir.
t'. Slifridan on the wo?t nndO.W. Krans on t ho
a.-f. havinir tiicreoti vrected si two storv plank
lioitsc. now in the occupancy ol Samuel llcrrod.
Taken in execution and to lie sold at the suit of
the Johnstown Hiiil.lm-ami Io.in Association.
Also, all the riirht, title and interest of llenrr
Ilea.lrick. of. in and to a piece or lot ol irrouud
situate in the V ;r-t Ward of Johnstown toroiii;h.
Cam!, ria county. I'a. . (rout inir s leet on Lincoln
street and runninir hack Pi's h-ef f, a private at
ley, adjoining Sye.imore alley on the one side and
Henry U'-adriek on t h ot licr'sidr, having thereon
erected a two s-ory (ilatik house, tl.tnk slaughter
h..iise an I !.uk jlalilo, n- w in the occupancy of
Henry 1 1 -:i. Irick. .Ws... nil tf:e riifht title- nnd in
terest of Henry IIa.lr.ck. of. in and to n piece or
lot of irrouud situate in the First Ward of Johns
town tioroiiuh, Cambria county. I'a., front inv 4.1
lect on Ijiiuolii street, ruiiiiitiv liack to a private
alley l.-et, adjoining lot of llenrv Hedrii k on
the one si te. ar..1 lots of Niinrod "AleKlearr nnd
o' hers 'ii the e her side, havinif thereon erected n
""'-ii ' ' !' ' "I .-'t'-ry i!:iri!i lem-'e, now in t he oceti.
p-mey ot ii, ery ', ,,n A ! t an I i e- r-e S-1 j. ,-rw . H.
'!
Ifcl-ll 111
i-1 ; 1 1
-l..-
' it ion ,-ii!d to he sold at the suitor
lie II-" of nd i-watid llert t'.i'-k.
' r-u'.t. ti'!-:uid i::i.-r.-s of Thoin:it
!; ( .i ! I a.'-..t- 1 si- ll.l.e iu
: ' ' t.' t.:h t ' i ' i:.i-;-i -,'ii: ,-. i 'a..
I
t
'I
i :: I
i .1.
lr-
t v,i
I i
y.-
n III e
i:d . K
r -to'
v r-1 : : :i '
.Hi . i .i
Ujii, ( 'a"l-
i 'i.
: -. 1
, ..ii i i-,.. side, .-in al
:! i ia n i ot i ho
' - 'o r. on en-er.-d
i.ei.i -ni Lou--.- and
cujia le v of I Inn iel
.1 i tie r j .t.
i ' : s. . '. Ill a 'id ' ..- ii
e ti. I', i.'-l, .'.T I
'; el I 'i-. .1 e .1? . V (
Ml. (
i - r
, i,..
I I alal
ioi ;eiuiia- lot of
an ! i',.,j t.'.i
ol 111
111! ',',,1
II '!-
ct. .1
"1 I 'o
?d 1 a
en
:! 'e an
a pn.
ill
in , i r.-s! of I Ir.-i u-
!.! t
!, (' - parcel oi -e
in" . i -ei,.; v I'a..
i -.. . i . . i 1 1 v -
i-.-. ei-ire .-r h ss.
le i -. . !. Im' ihk I ll Te-
t l.-ii-e. eat. ii .;. : n,
n 1 a I i, ,j i irr , i.-i
i .1. S. I ,;. :-. i,
I." ,- i t t r. V. . Ke.,U
1
II
, ,.
I
r f
r,ion I
y I'a
: t I ' !,.-
if .i-
- Mia ; i i
. Ir"in '.i-i
.111' M reef
II otl t!l,!
r i.. if,.
l:i:-j .'. .i; -e
'I llU-t
c S'.el at
. t .i la i-
'II 1
i i r-
an I int-rest i f J dm
' ' parcel .. l:ii, sltll
. 'a a oi ., .-..ii,. , y. I'a..
: A-'v linns 1 i ii :s of
.-! i-r -l.a til r and .1 .
i ' i " r I. .-s. ii i ...ii t
ii ei'. I ,t t .v.. ji ory
i -1 ill,, o . i;i ancv i.f
a p:
I' . :l. I I !e f
I
: n t
is e iri'ii ; ion a n i to he
e reniel.
ie an t interest of Na
tivv
h:. "t i
. t II ii,.- l
. n i' ! Ii rti-r. oi.
i ni i
il I .t or pic.-.- of if round
uai" in ( . r.' 'i .it Jii..iish p. Cam ri.i cumt v
ir-.i.t .iic on inn nsup road, and ad'oinitej
I ! .."It !!:!; v. ..!; h on the one si.le i.o.l l:,o.l
i": o J'-.-kw.-r I. '-n tli- "'h'T side, and h.n.l of
II .r, i
- I a t u
o.r in
l.lk.
t'- h-irs .,u the oi ior.lia vin j h.-re-"
-;,,;-v du r ilill; : ue and a plank
' lo- (...., . ,;, ,,..v ,,i X-.tli,,!,,,.: it,,r.
H i a r. l a keri in fxi't-u. ton and to he s.,l,i , i,
; .1,1 i.l .loon 1 N etna.
Ai.t". ail t ti'- ink ht. t i Ie and Interest of James
K e' I v. t. in and t a lot of round sit u. ire in 'ain
lri:'. I.i.r. oii. t'.ini'.ria county, I'a.. I routine- on
liail Hold street ii n I l.oun Icl" n th.: one sid- hy
lliird sir-!, !': f Ilu-ili Crossen m the oUn-'r
s: Ie. at'l an alii yon lie hacU-. havin-: t hereon
erected a oii"-:inii a-iia If :ory dwelhnit ln,u- tin-l
n hoard st-il-le. now in the oeeupan-v ol James
rros.;,i sui I I 'am yt'rossn. Tek-nin execution
nnd to he so! i at the stT't of I. Myer .V. Co.
A is", ail i he r.xht, title and interest of Hartley
Hoy. of. in and to a lot ol' "rround situate in the
J ioio'i; b "f K ' ncait'.uN. ' 'an.brin county, Pa.,
t r , t i t , ir on tt,- i'a. Ii. K . and adjoining ' lot of
John Hov. and evten.Priir hack tothe Conem anh
river. Ii iv ti- tin r. oii erect- l a two story il wcllinic
la.iis an 1 Ir.in.e stahle. ln.w in tlje oc.'uj.nn v ,,(
Ii irM.-v Hoy. Taken in execution and to he sold
at Iti- Mill oi Ak-rs &. Itaiitner.
A all t he ri-f'tt, t it Ie and interest of (Ljnfon
f t.'ii'ziiii' Ur ot. in and t. a piece or parI of laud
Siin.ii.- in Taylor township. Cambria c. unry. I'.i ,
c..n! in mir "' tier- s. more ,,r less, nhoiit 2 acres of
which are i leared. a It iitiinir lands of John rood,
V.. J- i key, Isaac Holes, and t In-rs, ha inir t h re
. r recle.i a two story plan',- lnus and hum part
ly imi-iied. lew in tlii: oceiip-m-y of Clui'-m
(...uiri 'i'iiir. Taken in exiitioii h'uI to In t.dd
at the suit of John nomas.
A t ail the ri.rht. till - and Interest of W! hard
V. i 1 1 ia Irs ol. in i' nd to a !! ! trrotind sltnttre in
the H .roiij-h of ( ',. ip. rs.'ale. ( Niuitiria county. Ph..
Ifiii'a,.' nti .d.nn oni' and a Itoiuii lot of 1,'oh.
ert Ho !e on the one de nnd !., ,,i J.,in l inn
on t h- n'tii-r i-ii- and o top. hint l.n.k to t he i 'on-ina-i.rh
r.v. r havirnr tin-fun reeled a or,-..,n l
lui II s'ory hens- mi l pl-itik t Id-. r..w in he oc
cupaticv of Kiehar I illi.inn. T.i'en xe,-utlon
n I to f I ! at the su : ..t Hur'-iri Pruner, ad-
imn isi r:it ri x ot ch'is'ian Hr'Tti-r. dec'.!.
1 t. it vs , r s 1 1 f I ine-t h.rl ff tlii' tn:ri Imip
tie I." l 1 1 !, pa l i v. Ie - !l loo or. i--i 1 1 i-
kii'H Ie
I i . hi i ! ' r i ' 'tiijr two i tin
op. .11
.in
t '
MI
. .1.
I
I
'I
'I I'.!?. -
ri,T.
. -, i .
u-. .-. I
. i ' i
i 1. 1-
I 1
I IN i
I -
. . I . 4 , I I. ", f .
I -. i ' . 'H n . .r
. , ' . ,. , - ,, , .
1 1 i - : . ., .
. .... ,
' . :i . ' . , .
i " 1 i ' e , t IV IU Ni ..I
'!!"? . ' f . r ' N S
i' t ! i -ie ' ! y Hun',
:' 1 V lr.' I r- :l
. 11' !!, I: ' -oi V-tl.
.'i I'e'er I'rlein.
I roan, lute ,,f ' U.'-t
Ni
I 1 '
I
! I .!
.1
I .,' t
1 -.- t
I
!:
I
ph A.
. !.."l.
- i :o 'int ot ,l-i., ii, I;. S'uil. joimin
Li i.i" li.i'.tn, lale.d A'l.illis t '.,,-h , p.
I
' oa' of .Tan I .' ' 7 in i.T. e-iiar.lt.,rt ,,f
Jan.. . ' I ' I . 'not. a m:...r eluid . I llenrv Me Her
to t. In'.. ! t ' . .. rf - I I i ! diip. dceea s,.',.
"- II" a--, n--. .,t Arm Adams tir, I John
V ca:.l ml. a.'m ntors ,,i -fi,,,,,,,,, Ad.un, lt
ot ( a rlo 1 1 t-e.v a-l, de. . jscd.
x 1 he jir.-i at.! parii il : ,, of Mnrv M. Koim.
I'll, a .miiosirairix of Abraham Kopeim, late of
.l'i!ni-l 'Wti ! roiiirh. d-cens,...
H. The uccoun' of V. Horace T..e. ej-.-e'ilor of
J ascpinne Jtniiker, late of Johnstown borough.
llec-as.-.l.
The second and final account of .Tames T.
."Me A nee. una rd ian ol Ce jest ine Plat t. n minor child
of .lames Piatt, late of Cambria township, dec'il.
II. The hrst and final account of iiliam Uer
har. administrator of J. P. W. Gerhart, lu'e of
liichland township, deceased.
2. The tlrst account of William .1. Dawson nnd
J.im.-a j. Kavl.it, exvluors of .lerunc laSoii,
late or A llf-irheny township, defense!.
I I. Ttie first n in! Until account of .fumes Xnll.
iruardian of lt,,l-ri (ohiIw-.ii, a minor child of
dnry .1. Ooodwin. iafe of Cambria county, dee'd.
JA MM M. HMiKII, It-ir st.-r.
Hi if .sti r's ( in, in Lbi'it-btii-K, Au. tt, I .75.
; TT ' 'K'H. Notice is Iit-n by p;ivoii
i that a pelitioti will hr uret'tiH il to tins
Court iu.u ters Sessi,,t,s of I 'ariibrin county to
liieorponne t... village,,! Hemlock, In said count v.
into it Iwiroiiirh.
, SIIODIAK KIl i ff't HIKK.
1 Aug. 4, lST.-ei. Alty'B lor I'tNiUoncrJ.
THE lll tTITIVi: Alln
BY THOMAS HUMS EXOLISII.
I look, il .it a carpenter nailing one lav
Some weather boards on in a workmanlike
i Ami saw that the claw of the hammer he
I clapped
To a nail, which the moment before he Lad
' tapped,
And, t! raw ins it out, threw it by with a
Took another insUad, and went on with his
work.
"What's that for?" I anked him. "Have
nans jrrow n so cheap,
That you toss thtm away "as too worthless to
"No," lie answered, "it bent iu the drivine,
and so, '
Ix-st it make a bad job, to the ground it must
We draw while we're able," he faid, with a
criii,
"For we can't pull it out, omie we hammer
it in."
When the nail had been followed by one
that was good,
I noticed beside it a dent in the wood
Tin; mark had U on made by the base of the
e'tuv ,
Thrimoh ti. strong force exerted the bent
nail to it raw ;
And Hi. to i'ne depression, to evesight quite '
i'oiin, . ;
i lo 'i-.ii I w :.-.! painted over, will dutibtl. .ss '
reiiiaiii. ' r j
No m u vooius iiiciileiit, eoitainly; still i
1 I s. t tne to i'.ii.Nkii,, a.-, litiie tilings will, I
ii nv litil.il, hU.r nails, be they wrong ones j
or j-i-Ni.
('.tu t ) drawn from their p'.a. es when
And, ti,..!i,;li drawn ere they sink to the
bead, Ii-iivi' bt-hiiid,
Hy th. ir Httiwiii-, some traces on bodv and
mind.
W hen a .voting tiian seeks money, and noth-ii.-jr
bi'si.lo,
And, .iti. iiii lien Franklin, his tueninussto
hide,
Does small thinjs for p,-!f, and, willi nmek-
rake in hand,
Shows toe crown overhead, petty trains to
comma ud.
Though it, . tnl jii that wealth he is anxious
to v in,
lie h is s'rtt. k a bent nail, and has ham
mer",! it in.
When a dashing voting man, at the outset of
life,
Wlm h is won pome pure maiden, and made
her his wife,
Leaves I is li'iiin; and his wife for some low,
iiinr'ov lien,
Who e lo- drinks and carouses with dissolute
titcii,
The nail he is driving may crooken to sin ;
lienor pull it. out quickly, "not hammer it in.
When some neighbor of those sees their
fan'ts through a glass,
That makes t In in too large for the censor to
pas,
Ami, with sense of their wickedness, right
eously hot,
Calls on- a mere miser, the other a sot
II- is handling a nail that is not worth a pin,
Like a corkscrew 'twill twist if he hammer
it in.
When a girl shows the world that she
sureiv thinks less
Of her culture and conduct than gadding
and dress ;
When she eagerly seeks for a confab with
those
Whose laik solely runs upon dresses and
betl'tx.
Neglecting home duties some street-varn to
spin
That nail w ill give trouble if once hammered
iu.
When a wife finds her temper grow peevish
ami sour,
And the tones that once charmed her have
lost all their power ;
When she scolds till her husband, iu fury
and pain,
Like a fool, in whisky seeks oblivion to
gain
'Twere better by far did she never begin
To tap on that nail, less hammer it hi!
When some woman wife, widow, or spin
ster, the same
Too eager to blow the dull coals to a flame.
The faults of her sisters brings closer to
view,
Calling this one street-gadder, and that one
a shrew,
Her nail has a flaw, is ill-shancii an,! thin
As she'll find to her cost when she hammers J
it in. I
Fnough for the lesson. The nails that we i
dtivc,
Not through lioards that are pulseless, but;
frames that ar live, j
Lxamine them well, ilosely man er too ;
late;
Should the.v prov of firm metal, well-rut
aiei quite snaitflil,
llcgardless .f sneertiig, or clamor, or din,
I;. i. f ,-.. h where it should lw, and ham
mer it iu. j
Tlic. CA0HEL0iAND THE CA3Y.
T, PIC V.lS p. I T l . - a. l,.i:ue except the '
l il x's ii... her. 1.;, by, and I. I'.aby ,a,l
J'.-t .'tie I -I' t p, wbcti baby's lie !l,r I e-
ph :i'!i'ii''l a ti illing C M.iii.i-sinti w ,ii Ji she
In! j'fti i m'.I t'i c cute f.-r mo ia the v il- ;
1 -,'. Wi l, :u, jpjnat ti..n to t.i( !i tlie i
Cia ile if baby w.ke, she lep:ntel, leaving
li.e pi. oi.l of my i.ew em j-loy ment, pfiil
lY.iied by pastr insecurity iiit a state of j
fatal s cm ity. j
, Willi .ne rye on my boot and the other !
on the ciad!e, like a faithful watch dog, I !
listened to the retreating footfall that. '
should have wanieil me but did not, "to
look out for squalls' Iliad no idea of the I
awful responsibility which I bad taken
: upon myself, or I should liavesln link fioni
it, as a cat does from water, or a nia.stitT
from achuining machine. In fact, Iratber
. mispcct that I felt in a tiitling degree ain
. bitious that baby should open one eye only
j one that I might have the pleasure of
; sluitt ing it again. Unwary mortal ! How
' littlo do we know when wo are well off!
My Rtnbition was but too soon to bo grati-
fied ; I had jet to learn by bitter experi-
, ence how weary is the lot of those who tend
on babies.
I wonder whether infants aro conscious
iu theirsleepof their mother's absence, and
know that an opportunity lias arrived for
"cut ting updidocs." The baby over whoso
slumbers I had become the guardian genius
how the flies pitched into its nose! was
as Round asleep as any baby could be when
its mother departed ; but uo sooner had her
ehado'v faded from the room than the
symptoms of wakefulness began to appear.
First came a sigh, then a chuckle that said
as plain as a chuckle could say, "Now for
some fun," and then one eye opened and
shut, and then both began iceping about,
until the head seemed inclined to bob off
the pillow. I felt a littlo nervous at these
symptoms only a littlo. "Poh !" said I j piercing pipes" drilling me through and
to myself, "a roll or two of the cradle will j through. I was riddled with screams that
soon settle your business, youngster ;" but , touched like galvanic wires on every nerve,
itdidnot. B-iby was bound to have a spree. I The clatter of a three-story cotton mill,
It knew that its "mother was out." That j with a bundled girls talking of new bon
big, bothersome blue-bottle fly, too, tired I nets through the din, was nothing to it.
of watching for the ship over the clock face,
started on a voyage of discovery on its own
account, and the promontory which it
reached was the nose of the baby a tempt
ing spot upon which it landed for refresh
ments, buzzing most villaiuously as it did
so. It was a ticklish landing, however,
and baby soon drove it off with a sneeze
that astonished its senses, and mine too,
more than the lly's, f-r the fly was accus
tomed to ticklish situations, which I was
not. n.iby was thoroughly aroused. Up
went its round, chubby arm ; but a rock of
the t-iadlc soon si.oit that back to its place.
I did rock the cradle beautifully. The lit
tle head r.ill. d to and fio as easily as if it
had been fastened on to a toy mandarin's
neck. I could not help admiring tnsc'f
f.ir the way in which I did it, and I am
sure that any reasonable baby would have
gone to sleep again, if only for compliment
sake ; but the baby in the cradle didn't.
The moment the locking ceased, np popped
the little bead with a small, peevish cry.
That cry ! it was like the "lizzing of the
fuse" of a powder magazine sure to end
in an explosion.
Were you ever roused iti the middle of
the night by the niaid-of -ail-work coming
in her slippeis and night cap lo inform you
that, your bouse was on fiie? Did you ever
stand by a Dutchman xli: was weighing
gunpowder with a lighted cigar in his
mouth? Did yon ever stand over the boiler
of a Mississippi steamboat an J expeci'every
moment to be luided on the tree tops half
a mile inland ? If not you cannot conceive
my horior when I beard that cry. I was
in a cold perspiration from head to foot.
I have no doubt that hailstones as big as
peas might have been picked off my fore
head. I rocked for dear life, and baby
bounced about like a ball of india rubber :
but it was useless. I fang all the songs I
could think of, from the cabalistic "Ilnsh-a-by-ha
by" to "Cease, rude Iloreas J" I
tried tenor, and I tried bass ; but the baby
did not know the difference. It seemed to
think it all base. The louder I sang, the
louder it cried. It was bawl and squall,
and squall beat. The squall peevish be
came the cry indignant, and the cry indig
nant became the squall imperative, niue
bottle buzzed with delight, and danced a
hornpipe on the window, while the clock
kept up a tantalizing "Go it I Go it !"'
In an unlucky moment I lifted the little
tempest, out of the cradle. Never, never,
never will I commit such an act of thought
less imprudence again ! He fore I did so I
could have truly sung w ith the poet, "The
white squall raves;" but -afterwards the
fiercest blasts seemed belching from that
little throat. Iu the hope of quieting the
tornado, I took it in my arms, waddicd to
and fro the room, tossed it up and down
until inj' shoulders ached, dandled it on
my knees now the right one, now the
left ; but nothing would do. Like an
cast ily gale, that multiplied squall seemed
to be endless. I felt leally alarmed ; I
was completely terrified. I saw visions of
convulsions aud such like ills that infant
'flesh In heir to." If I had been in the
city I am pure that a crowd would have
collected. I might have leon taken up
and accused of an attempt to commit in
l.inticide pel haps been published in the
'ajcrs as a wretch guilty of cruelty to
dumb animals. Dumb! Howl vish that
dear family organ had been drnih ' I even
ctnieii the deaf met) th.it piek up cinders !
1 l.nkd at the cl.K-k, and exclaimed in
de-pair. "When will the mother return''"
and the c!"tk answeied, with mocking
monotony, "Not yet . not yet ! lJiuc-
bottle had ce.i-ed buzzing, and returned to i
its old quarters over the dinl plate, to
watch for the leappearance of the ship,
p-jihaps a.-king, as impatiently as I did,
the question, "When will she return?"
while the clock continued to repeat nnccas
h'gly, "Not yet ! not jet !" I knew not
what to d, and ru-bed a dozen times to
the door, hoping to see the coming relief;
but the walls of the distant church and the I
houses beyond were thick, and I could not I
look through them. The brook was laugh- j
ing in the sunshine, and murmured joyous
lj as it glided over the stones, and I felt a !
strong temptation to pop the piping part j
of the baby into it. I am sure the clock J
cried mockingly, "Doit! elo it!" but the '
thought of a coroner's inquest restrained
mo a country jury of Dutch boors with
short pipes in their mouths, and skulls two
layers of brick thick. There was a rooster
upon the fence flapping his wings a"d
crowing like a Trojan I do believe it was
over my perplexity ; the pigs were grunt
ing in their sty, and a cow was giving
nourishment to her calf in a elistant field.
Suddenly a bl ight idea struck me. I seized
an old tobacco pipe that had been stoeel
away upon the mantelpiece, and, :m triers-
ing the bulb in a tumbler of water, thrust
the stem into the baby s mouth. Baby
was uo genius. I bcoamo satisfied of that
( in a minute. It is an attribute of genius
; to accomplish its desires with imnerfect in-
struinents. There was no stoppage iu the
J pipe. I tried it myself.
J I was at my wit's end, and laid the baby
on the floor, cramming my fingers into my
ears. It was no nse ; I could not shut out
j the- sound. It was like a thousand "ear-
AH the locomotives in the land tortured
into a sta'e of agony would alone compare
with it ; but mill and locomotive might be
stopped, and baby could not be quieted
even for a moment. Anything but a baby's
lungs would have been worn out by such
an abuse of power, but their strength only
increased, seeming to acquire new pipes at
every blast. What would I not have given
for the sight of a petticoat bearing down
to my relief! Never did Ilobinson C'rusoo
on his desert island gaze more longingly
over the ocean in search of a sail than I did
flown the i"ad f..r a b-umtt and curls. I
Willi have .-n:i't d lovingly on tho fattest
dowager (hat ever sv.ellen-d in the West
Indies or the thinnest scrub that rays her
devotions to the duoistcps ; but the fi: mi
nim's, like other useless comndit ics, had
ail vanished when most wanted even the
cat, sensible creature, had disappeared.
Like the distressed iiero of a novel, I
was left, to my own resources, ami had r.o
resources left. Theie was a baby flopping
a bruit on tho floor like a porpcisc on a ship's
deck, as if lj ing on its beam ends was a
natural position. I righted it a dozen
times, but over it went again, as if all its
ballast bad f-hifted to the head. I brought
the shovel and tongs and the bellows from
the fireplace ; but baby wouldn't look at
them, not a bit of it although I took the
trouble to blow the bellows in the blue
bottle's face, and sent the threads on tho
carpet fljing about the room. Lven the
cl.ither-brush and nutmeg grater proved no
attraction, and I broke a suspender button
hopping about like a frog on all fours.
If I had stood on my head and had shaken
the pennies out of 1113- pockets it would
have had no effect, liven a lump of sugar
would not bribe it to bo quiet. It made
wiy faces at the mirror, art id pitched sav
agely into the pillow, turned indignantly ;
from the tea-kettle, and squared off at the ;
tolling pin. If I had given it the carving- (
knife I do verily believe that it would have j
cut off its own head, and made too squalls '
instead of one, but I forbore. G'vo me '
credit for my magnanimitj-! I forbore. !
For nearly a mortal hour an age was '
I thus kept iu a state of frenzy. My hair
stood up like "quills uon the fretful "por- j
cupine." They have alwaj's stubbornly re- '
fused to lie dow n smoothly since. I should
have had a "gray head upon my shoulders."
l'erhaps 1 should have sunk into the grave
with a nervous fever, and have had "died
of baby nursing" for an epitaph upon my
tombstone. Fortunately for the public in
general, and me in particular, I was spared
such a catastrophe by the return of the
mother, who burst panting into the room
at the critical moment when mj' Job-like
patience had miserably perished by de
grees, as the water leks from a broken
hooped bucket. With what a feeling of
relief did I look up at tho old clock as it
announced to nie, 'in its most cheerful
tones, "She's come ! She's come!" Would
you believe it, but I'm sure you can't the
fact seems too great an enormity the little
piece or jrveisity was as quiet as a lamb
in a minute ! Why, the mother was so de-
ceived that she actually called it hei "pre-
cious lamb! I liraid her and was as-,
tonished. I wonder she didn't feel sheep
ish ; Iknovldid. Lamb indeed! If that
was being a lamb, what would it be when
it became inu'ton? Why, it was fast
asleep again in no tinte, and laughing in
ils dreams over tho fun it bad enjojed.
Didn't I vow never to be caught with a
baby again? If ever 1 am, may I be
sei ed in the satite manner again !
Tiir.iti: were three of them a man nnd :
two women. They saw the sign, "Arctic
soda water," swinging iu tho breeze, and .
they went in and the mau said thej'd take
about three drinks. 1
"What syiup?" asked the confectioner.
The man's wif who xvn on of tVi tue,-i
! .... 1 1 .. 1 1 1 i .1 .
turned her husband around so that
s oacK was ro tne fountain, and then said:
w;ii:m ;r ..i. 1
-.."', iiii.tiii, ji jou vtiiiii it? 11 11 Pit aim
vanilla, or vanilla and cream, speak right ,
up, for you won't have a chance to say va- (
nilla and cream aud wiuk for him to put in
whisky!" I
The husband's countenance fell, but he !
had to quietly submit. He has been won- j
doling ever since how his w ife Could have
dropped on the practice.
A tetiy tall and shabby looking man, a
fellow that reminded j ou of a vagrant let
ter from a font of forty line paragon extra
condensed, stepped up to one of onr bars,
last week, and after pouring a glass of
liquor into his long throat, blandly asked
the bartender if he could change a '20 hill.
. The gentleman informed him that he could.
. "Well," said the tall one, with a sigh of
; satisfaction, "I'll go out and see if I can
; find one," and he plunged out into tho
cold world on his mission.
Life Iteneath the Waves.
I aPt- Bflton in Gentlemen' Magazine.
j Poon afterward I worked down into the
' G'f of Mexico. The first coral I raised
ws if- Catoche. Knocking round about
there I beard of the loss of the schooner
Foam. The first mate and three men got
saved, but the captain, his daughter and
three men got lost. 1 slung round to see
if she could he raised. After we'd spent
the best part of ihe week, we sailed over
her and dropped anchor. It was a lovely
Sundaj' morning when we struck her. She
lay iu sixty feet of water on a bottom ns
white as the moon. Looking down I could
see her leauing over on one side upon the
coral reef. When I got down to her I saw
she'd torn a great gap in the reef w hen
she ran against it. The mainmast was
gone and hung by the fore. I clambered
P I saw whole shoals of fish play ing in
and out of the hatches. First I went to
look for tho bodies, for I never like to
work while there's anj' of them about.
Finding the foiecastle empty I weuttothe
two little state cabins. It w as rather dark,
and I had to feci in the lower bunks.
Thcie was nothing in the first, and in the
other the door was locked. I piied it open
and shot back the lock with my adze. It
flew pen and out something fell right ' l,ut 111 at least one for herself, and three of
against me. I felt at once it was the wo- j them had put in two or three. The presi
man's bud". I was not exactly frightened, 1 dent pro lew. looked very grave as she
but it shook me rather. I slung it from stood up and remarked :
me and went out into the light a bit until
I had got hold of myself. Then I turned
and brought her out poor thing ! bhe'd
been very fdctty, and as I canicd her iu
my anus, with her white face nestling
against my shoulder, she seemed as if she
was onlj sleeping. I made her fast to the
line as carefully as I could to send her up,
and tho fish played about her as if they
were sorrj' she was going. At last I gave
the signal, and she went slowly up, her
bail floating round her head like a pillow
of golden seaweed. That was the only
body I found there, and I managed afier
to raise pretty considerable of the cargo.
One of my expeditions was among the
silver banks of the Antilles the loveliest
place I ever saw, where the white coral
giows into curious tree-like shapes. As I
stepped along the bottom it seemed as if I
were iu a frosted forest. Here aud there
trailed long fronds of green and crimson
seaweed. Silver-bellied fish flashed about
among the deep brown and purple seaferns,
which rose high as my head. Far as I
could see all round iii the transparent
water were different colored leaves, and on
the floor piles of shells so bright in color
that it seemed as if I had stumbled on a
place where they kept a stock of broken
rainbow s. I could not work for a bit, and
had a quarter determination to sit down a
while and wait for a mermaid. I guess if
J those sea girls hive any w hero they select
that spot. After walking the inside out of
half an hour I thought I had better go to
work and blast for treasure. A little bit
on from where I sat were the remains of a
treasure ship. It was a Ihitisher, I think,
and corals had formed all about what was
j left of her. The coral on the bottom and
round her showed black spots. That meant
a deposit of cither iron or silver. I made
fairly good hauls ever- time I went down,
and sold one piece I found to Baruum, of
New York.
After I left there I had a curious ad
venture with a shark. I was down on a
! nasty rock bottom.
A man never feels
; he can't tell what
comfortable on thera
; big creature may be hiding under the huge
quarter-deck sea loaves which grow there,
The first part of the time I was visited by a
porcupine fish, which kept sticking its
quills np and bobbing in front of my hel
met. Soon after I saw a big shadow fall
across me, and looking up there was an in
fernal shark playing about my tubing. It
nnkes jou feel chilly in the back when
they're about. He came down to me slick
as I looked up. I made at him and ho
sheared off. For an hour he worked at it,
till I could stand it no longer. If you can
keep j(mr head level it's all right, and
you're pretty safe if they're not on j-ou
sharp. This ugljr biuto was twenty feet
long, I should think, for when I lay down,
all my length on the bottom he stretched a
considerable waj' ahead of me, and I could
see him beyond my feet. Then I waited.
They must turn over to bite, and.my lying
down bothered him
He swam orer me
unrc "i 10111 iiintrs, nun intii ftKuiweu on
nf seaweed t, consider. I
, i 4. ... 1. i.n. ,1 v
"
knew he d como back when he'd settle his
mind. It seemed a long time waiting for ' ones of their danger and they fled, she ic
him. At last ho came viciously over me, j maining to give battle to the intruder, and
but,- like the time before, too far from my 1 she consequently made the attack immcrli
ai itis. The next time I had my chance ately. Her method of campaign consisted
and ripped him with my knife as neatly as in confusing and blinding the rat with her
I could. A .shark always remembers he's J wings at the same time fiercely pecking
got business somewhere else when he's ! him on the head. In vain the rat tried to
cut, so off this fellow goes. It is a curious
tiling, too, that all the sharks about will
follow in tho trail he leaves. I got on my
hands and knees and as he swam off I
noticed four shadows slip after him. I
saw no more that time. They did not like
my company.
A woman will reach up and pull at a
window-sash for a few seconds quite good
naturedlj-, but when it doesn't come down
prompt!' and she turns around and sees
j her husband looking comfortably oil, she
: mentally asks herself, "Is civilization a
failure?" and then wades for him.
It is a sad thing to see ten or twelve wo
men get together aud attempt to organize a
"society to aid the deserving poor." They
tried it in Ninth avenue (which we piesutno
is in Detroit) the other afternoon, after
! having talked up the matter for three or
four weeks. Thirteen or fouiteen of them
met by appointment, and after some skir
mishing one of the number called the meet
ing to order and said that the first duty
would be to elect a president,
A sharp-faced woman got tip and said
that she didn't want tho position, but if it
w as the wish of the meeting that she should
take it, why she would. There was a
painful pause, and a fat woman arose and
i "a'd that she had had considerable expeii-
I eucf3 with s"ch societies and that he
j cvddl render great personal aid if made
, president. There was another paiuful
j Pat,SP ad a little woman rose uj and
; squeaked, "I move to lay the subject on the
table !"
The other women looked at her in a
freezing way, and it was suggested that a
ballot be taken. All readily agreed to this
and ballots were prepared and a bonnet
passed around. When the votes were
counted it was f uind that each woman had
' Ladies I trust that this error may not
occur again."
It did, however, or at least each one cast
a vote for hersell ; hut on the third ballot
a choice was made and the lucky woman
took her seat, smoothed out the folds of her
dress and remarked :
"The next thing in order is the the
next !"
A woman with a wart on her nose then
made a speech, saying that she had hern
treasurer of several similar associations
and that if it was the w ish of the convention
she would accept the office. ltd id u't seem
to be the wish, however.
"I move ta adjourn !" solemnly exclaimed
a woman with a large backcomb.
"The motion is not in order," replied a
woman across the room.
"Am I in the chair, or are jou?" de
manded the president.
"I move to re-consider tho motion?"
squeaked the little woman.
"I support the question !" put in the fat
woman.
The president wiped her spectacles rap
ped on the stovepipe, and replied :
'"Ladies, there is no question before tho
house, and the question to adjourn is out
of order."
"Not much !" exclaimed a woman neaily
six feet high, drawing herself up. "I've
seen more meetings of this kind than tLe
president ever heard of. and I know that
an order to adjourn is alwajs in motion."
"So is your tongue !" said some one on
the lounge, and the president knocked on
the stovepijto, and said :
"The chair believes she knows her busi
ness as well as any woman Hearing pUted
wire hoop skirts."
"And I'm going hum !' added the ft
woman.
Soan. I .'"
"Soam I '."
"Soani I !"
"Soam I !"
And they stalked out, leading th? presi
dent tying up her left shoe and her ryes
flashing wildcats. And all this is why
Detroit ha-n't another "Society to Aid the
Deserving IK.ir."
The other day a Detroit mother poured
some ink on the pant 17 shelf, near the
sugar box, and wcut up stairs leaving her
small son playing with the cat. When she
came down the Ix.y sat by the window
wearing a placid, innocmt look, but there
were ink stains on his fingers. "There !
you've been at tho sugar !" she exclaimed
as she seized him by the collar. "Mother,
do you think I'd steal sugar?" "What
mndo 'em?" "Those stains mother?"
"Yes, those stains." "Well, I cannot tell
a bold lie, mother. I think I've com
menced to mortify." She wasn't quite
sure, and he was allowed to go out and
play circus.
A hen belonging to a Mont gomeiy coun-
ty farmer was the heroine of a plucky ded
a lew day since. A large rat attacked her
brood, with theiuter.tion of making a good
ly meal, but the mother warned the little
seize her, but finally fell stunned to the
ground, too disabled togo on with the con
test. An old Highlander, rather fond of his
toddy, was ordered by his physician during
a temporary illness not to exceed one ounce
or sphils dailj'. The old gentleman was
dubious about the amount, and asked Ins
son, a school boy, how much an ounce wa.
"Sixteen drachms" "was the reply. "Sis
teen drams! an excellent doctor!" re
sponded the Highlander; "run and ted
Donald McTavish and big Johu to codjO
doon the nicht."