I igi. A A AAA, AA A. ft v
13 ft
V-O5
McPlKE, Editor and Publisher.
" HE IS A FRfcEMAN WHOM THE TRUTII MAKES Fit EE) AND Al-L. AKE SLAVES BESIDE.
Terms, $2 per year, In advance;
m m. mm li ,11 1M , Km,
w?-. wwvi r v my m.m mm vjej i,ra r
1 9
VII.
n tisi:mi:xts.
ilMi I L.SSSE ' VMfel an,l worn in places,
". ,,, ,,. niiriil Ht home, day or evening; f aded and worn anil old,
"' i , '.'nil i t-.i; 1 nil instructions and vain- 1 -r.. . . i . ., . '
M ; ' ". .'I t ........Is M-nt fiee by mnil. Ad- i tears i it leavft their traces,
tf "..t .-.Tits return stamp, M. YOUNG As I smooth it out fol.l upon fold -
-V' ., .,.,:!. Il-st., N. . . ....
jure
i ..iwf i rt' inni.i. ai:.. iivii I'n vv 11011 i ruitu;- r t tiia i . . ...... l
, 'rr 1 :l l,"l,,,ll,r iti.t, now nearly
f: i..'..'t .unci which i Pir to have an
& r'' X- i ii-t'-C(l eircfltsshnu ll haS-
'L ii n t ; i y - Unusual imluceinents
i who Mican steady, etieixet-
C', ,-,'p W I.KAN, l'ut.lishrr. TWSan-'',-lr!':"'
l.-l'hw.
8
in i r, .. Sale inrrpasiiur. 2,000
.V 1 1 '.NTS WANTEll lor our
INTONE VKAKS IX AFRICA ! That ,,"ro.nrted -Our Father" to Sed
i : ' u""miiu iiue- Sl.h an angel down from above.
m ,.. n 'I. lonk iut for them. Send "
'i .'.riii-" i rwif of Ihtpretitest nurcot. ,, - . , e .
i',., uet Con.pan.on worth I0 ,v t,tllu' 11V faster and faster,
4'''
T
111 l;!i UiI KKOS., rublifthut-tH
,vci. riiiiaueipma.
7vi :
rl- NothinK is morecertain to
it; I "i' t utui e evil cousetjen.evs.
ZH l Aii iiM,iy If among the shining archangels
7. ',;.'',:.',: TuiicM m nut on nniv For his touch was chill and strangi
m - ,
hj . n,;iii. "Ctrl ue urrtnen ry luu-
s,,,i! Invirists. l'rlce".)Cts. per hox.
Ki l l ';(i. IS I'laU-Kl.. N. York,
.'.fi'ar'iiar. Sole Afirent for V. States.
"OV.JSS NG BOCKS SENT FRFE FOR
Fi FOWLER'S ftREAT WORK
to,Hl. UoninnhnAd nl their Mututil luter
fffcliuiiN: Imp. Its l.aivK, i'nwer. Ac.
nam nil v' troin 20 to 110 copies of this
jin.:in ', -K-iul a caiivassinjc book free
ih v wni. AiVar' FPtalicK- experience,
itin a. I'rei.isiHM. Co., I'liilad'aHa.
1 A SUIIOOL
MS nnd Piipcrs.
l A I VI in.! l SUPI'I.IKI) 11V
IJ MMIAV-SI'IIOOL UM,
I... Il-.' iM'slniit Street.
f rini.ADKLrniA.
I A' KNTS WANTED!
,DIUFT ! CAST ADRIFT!
..-li lit the famous '"'i'lileo Year
I nip" ami "Ten Niuhts in a 11 jr-
AliTlil'K. !Thel:it st an1 rrKr-
,'n- -elelirated nut hor- siciidiill v
t-;mtl I'oiind.a ml will se.U at tirht
N hiniily udorstd liv tliw most
! i'li- and Kii,ers of tii country.
. ' : ' I ' it on I ni!r, i ii on r in tiKt u-lii, h
Kt on ;
, l;.Ue no Mibstituu. It they ! And he laid his hand on my baby,
a!..:i!itiit your ilruirrit, ncwl tt .... . . , , ,
j i . . , . I'. ri, who will forward V ho straightway seemed to chai
j'IM'lieiitioii to J. Jl.-toililart j , . ,
4 Jtuiers, M Sansom St., I'Uila., Pa.
",i i fi:l i ll anscr, si i cdkI hener and
ff ': ii, .ui.n Ub.-li uctions known to
ittiall) mliteil to constitutions "worn
.hi i,uiiau-d by the warm weather of
Miiii.iii r, wht ti the blood is not ill
tt , iu consequently txatherintr ini- I
ft :l,vlu., ilinr,ntiiljiritiir.'i,it.iitiiiti
'4 lil'iiues, niotciies, iioiis, I'ustules, ; were made to sell ;
rianl l.-in.-iiiil fromoverw
t . i;, ,ni, inert ia takfj
ir. t he svstein need
le-lp the Vital Forces to re- j that is in town, at homo
-p ower.
'e've .-ity-boanlers eomin
ri in i. iii.u, s .l.Txi-i,,..,,...! I and eggs aro out ;
M:ti:act of jurubeba A,,a Vrov"y' ,ohllpp,,
". " 'in iriv suited touii ttioseitir- have gonft away !
ini; .ill i Tt t ' i"'i",
'in- i ih-imvim; i'owkks, and ke
4 'tiSTia-i thins from impaiked and
ai U fr( i, 'aki'n. as .Turuhebn is pro-
'I r,i , .,, wiiivis the most 'thcient
HI'l 1 IK UlSTKl'KNT known
J medical plants.
7 K!.l l.Udii, is Piatt St., N. V.,
f, , i i,t for the United States.
' I i Mottle. Send for Circular.
look (1arivasscrs
AY
"K RUNNING
ECRIPTION BOOK
4
":,l. (an:issii reduced to a
r, ' ii i i.i, n iji.iMiiAu iu., lai , " j -
T . MW 1
"oik 'ity.
;i-Ts HAVE PllOVED him all der time.
ATKK AVIIEEL! S
E l BEST EVER INVENTED. S
- ff ' AJdrcss
YORK, PA. L
I "i'rV,V,l:E!! t'lKKMl
, ANTl " for thfl ,imnd ft book of
ll n'f "tiV 1 U'A KUU 'i.-f.iii.".i:i(rapid-t,l
(:"N's"r Fire; Safes; Fire-
li-t'-'t rue witu Water,
-E.'Ts w i v.
cf God's People !
i r.i i-ii t K
1 .. -ii' i essful new l.niuc
of
i!-t;..!.i'";,"H"i the new. vn!u-
1 i...k by Dr. John Cowan,
fClenro . .
p"
a new uiTe.
J i'ln ' !;'! ;!"s--d by prominent
T '' i i ' i' nd s.-eular pa-
1 '' Kiicu si., n,.,v Vi,,k,
I ii, ! ' the most decided I " ,,ou 1 K,n s'""1''" "-'
''. i ,' ',' , " v "'""'"ir wuh astonish- ! Ve go down bv der tub vot ve put
4-. ,' " ' 1 ' 1 : 1 1 i '-'Oo Mairnitiecnt i ', : n"
m.;' , ,' : 1 ' i 'ft unity for mrejus i
.'''iisiV,'...'.'"'' VVr-''" tUi Par" Ve r"'-son"- 5n a pot unit spec un
. . - Vllirtford, Conn. I
Till: LITTLE FItOCK.
For it beareth a magic power,
p.rHl.'BOOK AGENTS! Tho font of my tears to unlock,
I fashioned that little frock.
My darling sat hesido me,
With his beautiful ey' agleam,
And the joy that was erst denied nie
Seemed into my heart to beam,
As I thought of the wondrous mercy,
Of the goodness and the love,
me
My thougl'.t took wing as it tlew,
To the courts of the blessed Master,
From whose gates my baby came through;
And I wonder if all God's angels
Looked as pure and frail as he
i Inoat. folds. Croup. Dip- I There was any more lair to see.
i. "i!i:rrti. Hoarseness. Irvnesi '
w i i . j i j or Uroucliial Tubes, i lut there came a jiale, sad stranger
J V-.!.'i'i". ';ucdd, however taker., I u"to u,y house lsy ;
-jy . i - - i" 1 1 be prouji't rtii'i 4 r--Jy . Iy heart stooil still, as if datigQr
r , i i .: ..' ' the circulation of Mood, j . , , . . ,
J n,sArn; v of the attack, Htid will, in I And dark ue alwnt me lay.
-i ,i: i.i.h'. nti'.rc- healthy action to tho ; I besought him that he would leave mo,
change.
His pale little cheeks grew whiter,
His bright blue eyes grew dim,
His clasp on my finger grew lighter,
The victory was to him
To the pale and icy monarch,
AVho rules with relentless sway,
Who came to my home in triumph
And bore my treasure away.
But a greater than he remainetb,
Who hath broken the londs of tho toml
Who hath robbed King Death of htH terras
And lighted the pathway of gloom ;
Who hath promised us sweet consolation,
If we patiently bow beneath his rod,
And I kuow ho has taken niy darling
To bloom in t.'iC garden of God.
" CfiicLcii md Kt.iys are Out."
The most sensible thing in the Farm
Ballad line, Mis. Emerson and Will M.
Caileton to the contrary notwithstanding,
is the following from (). C. Ken's "Chick
en and Eggs ate Onl," in which an old
' stmi u st heart. Will d,j umn for : fai mer laments the nuisance of being both-
i temperaiiee and mornlily than the ,, , , .. r , . ... ,
is who havi-soid "Mun-TrW vannot elel y CIy f'lks who want everything for
jAilr,; I as - t"-e -ho dotx-t care
if fiiitiseiil.er. V-script i ve cii euinrs n. what thev iret so thev fetitin the ,rHint iv.
i lie win iigi iciiiLui ifct f-tys .
Uetwe-n the town-folks seltish, who think a
farm is made
J Of eggs and c hii kens nd dairy, which no
cash is p!ii.
xnd them, more free and foolish, who never
think a mite,
But come, when they'd do better, at home,
a precious sight
We, farming-kind, get riley, to find the
breed so Hat ;
And whore's our human natur' if we made
naught but that ?
We give to the ones we welcome potatoes,
pork and gn-ens.
With apple-pie and donghnutu, and a spice
of corn and beans.
But as for milk and poultry, and things in
skin and shell.
i in.-..it'tiiis. and is manifested by j We send them down to the city, for they
, i usiuies, i were maie to sen ;
! And if 'twas them thev wanted, these folks
"e'ule ;.r.ee ! W,l ranK" a,Ml
?ds a Tunic They ought to know where to buy them, and
"I MiiiiiiM-r ! t i-qiiciifly the I.iver nnd So hide the cooji, tln-re, Detsev and nail
1 p.-rfoi in their fiimUnus; : the hen-house stout ;
ar.d thicken
en the
in,-, v !,. ii,e soi'Tll AMKItiCAX Our milk it is all out, likewise until they
1IO Jf TO MA Ki: SO I 11 KJIOUT.
AS SU.Vii I5Y ,IOHX TIIOJII'SOK.
Xow if you want to find oud how to make
good sour krout,
Youst listen by ujy storj-, und I tould you
all aboud ;
Sour kront ain't made from leather, like
some peeples supposes,
But from dot bully Jtower vot dey crvll der
cabbage roses.
CHORUS.
a hv . ','y.:"is.'vii'na. A'l: s,,, im,, t. ,iw t v ir rmr nno
j Well ! I guess I ought to know, 'cos I eat
' liumiam'ii Now Tnrhine We take him from dir garten when he's
shmall vot he can pe,
Und schop hint up in pieces, as fine as any
tea ;
We put him in a tub und stamp him mitour
feet,
TTnd stamn. nnd stamp, und stamp, nnd
ii"Hv'- kirk1' F1KKM! stamp; dot makes him nice and sweet.
CllOKVS.
TJiul den we put in blendy salt, but don't
put in no snuff,
V ,', '"Axt K itf'fct Its Ills- I Kor any syk-cum pepper, oi any ot dotstuh-,
f!' (lie Fin "llli u,ry I in Jer h ia
J i'i''1'"', V"u 'vUI ni,t rcfrrt't to schmell ;
f,,,,,,; l'u.m, tiilmuaifo., Mv Marion-be was pullv. und ve Dutch-
My gracioiu he was pully,
mens love him veil.
ClIOKUS.
Now when he chmells all he can schmell,
und don't kin schmell no schmeller,
put down in
d et him
Und very voa cat? scbtnell biniden for fifty
thousand mil,
CHOliCS.
f
Jones, who has recently been married,
i.
,1 ;i'i, i. K1 per sais that COllllshhl is bliss, but. ni.il l itiloilV
is blister.
NED GAINER'S GOLDEN DREAM,
AM) 11 WW IT UEU.
Aliout the j-ear A. D. 18 12 there lived
in one of the easteni counties of Penn
S3"lvania an extensive fainter by the
nameof James Armstrong, lie owned
and ctiltivated three hundred acres of
limestone land ; had a son named John,
a young man of twenty -two summers,
who had the management and over
sight of the farm ; had two daughters,
the elder of whom was married to
Samuel (ireen, who had a farm of his
own two mik;3 distant from that of his
father-in-law ; the second daughter was
in herteens, named Mary, and budding
into womanhood.
The hero of our tale was named Ed
ward (Jainer, but usually went lvr the
cognomen 01 Armstrongs 2ea. lie
had been raised in the family, as a bound
boy, until the age of sixteen, which
period he had passed, but still re-
in,)iii,l in tlio 1'imilv work in o fir
wages. He had been sent to school so j
many mouths in trie year, according
to the terms of the indenture, but had
never applied his mind to book-learning
took more interest in ball-playing
and rabbit hunting; would always
shirk hard work when it could be done,
but was willing to do light, pottering
work, such as little turns about the
house and garden. This caused him
to be rather a favorite with the female
part of the family. In regard to in
tellect, he was evident!' below medi
ocrity and was so considered, not only
by the family, but by the neighbors.
At the age of about eighteen or twen
ty he began to dream dreams of gold
that lay buried in the ground by the
side of certain old logs in Mr. Arm.
strong's woodland. This he communi
cated to the family, who laughed at
him for being so seriously impressed
about such foolish dreams, lie still,
however, continued to dream about the
gold and to tell his dreams, not only
to the family, but to his fellow laborers
and the neighbors.
The dreams began after some time
to take a more definite shape j the patv
ticular locality was pointed out 1 j ob
vious marks, with the injunction to not
disclose the locality or trie gold would
disappear, a very probable circum
stance, lie now began to stay out late
at nights occasionally, not coming in
until alter the family had all retired.
His clothes would be somewhat soiled
and he would go immediately to his
trunk before retiring.
After a while he began to c.dl the
attention of his fellow servants to his
treasure, not by letting them handle
it, but by letting them look at it from
a distance, by candle light, while he
would handle and put it back in his
trunk. The evidence now assumed a
tangible shape and some people began
to think there was some truth in it,
though he still refused to let any one
handle it but himself. A few months
later he carried a ten dollar gold piece
in his pocket, which he would Jet any
one handle and his fellow servants de
clared that the handfuls tliey bad seen
him have looked just like that one.
Mr. Armstrong, Jr., said to him one
day, ".Ned, how much gold have you
found ?" "I am not at liberty, at
present, to tell that," was the answer.
"What good reason have voit for with
holding ' tLo information ?'' ".All I
know about the gold comes through' ty.j
dreams, and through them I am warn
ed to let no one handle more than one
piece of it until the whole is collected,
which r.vill not be until the end of three
years from my tirst dream about it."
"We would be better satisfied about
the reality of this matter if we had
more tangible evidence," said Mr. Arm
strong, Jr. Xed's reply was, "I am
fully Wished so far, and am bound to
obev instructions for fear I may not
act the remainder, which is to be much
greater than what I have already found, j
I shall want to buv a farm or go into
some other business at the end ol three
years." .
In a familv conversation awun
matter, John told the conversation
he had with Ned and intimated that
he believed that Ned was in earnest
and determined to be governed by Ins
dreams and make no further disclo
sures until the expiration of the three
years It was also suggested in this
conversation that Ned ought to have
more schooling to fit him for the so
ciety that his wealth would be likely
to throw him into, and further that he
ought to be better dressed, as the
wages he had been receiving would
only enable him to dress in home-made
attire.
Subsequently in conversation John
said to Ned, "If von are assured of ob
taining this wealth which you dream
of, how do you propose to get along
until the end of three years and fit
yourself to take a respectable position
in soeietv ?" "Well," said Ned, "I am
helpless in the matter until that time,
except what I earn with my hands.
Your familv have always been very
kind to me," and I hope you will still
,rlvo me employment: but if jou will
advance me some money from time to
limn ns I need it, I will give you my
! ..n.: .1,1 at. the rnd of
"!' T wi interest, and I will !
mm- ' 1 . . ,
luIV' - .. .1 tli,i iituitir
.... I. mill llliT SCUOOl aw .-ov. v.i.wtJ
I Town, and get some belter clothing."
EBENSBURG, FA., FRIDAY, JULY 4, 1S73.
After further faniilj- consideration,
j Ned's proposition was agreed to, and
he went one session to boarding school,
and thus finished his education. He
came home again, not to work, but to
act the gentlenian.
Mr. Armstrong being a wealthy
, farmer kept, besides hoises and oxen
J to do the work of the farm, three blood
i horses for the saddle ; one of these was
for Miss Mary's use whenever she
' chose to use it. John was fond of fox
j hunting and kept a pack of hounds.
cu, or Air. (.ainer, as he was now
being called, would sometimes accom
pany John m his fox hunts, using one
of the saddle horses. Mr. Green, the
brother-in-law of John, was also a fox
hunter and kept two blooded hors-.es;
sometimes Mr. (Jainer rode one of
these and was made their equal among
their associates.
Mr. (i ainer now iivej well, dressed
well, and spent his time very pleasant
ly. Sometimes he would ride with
Miss Mary to church, at other times
ride with Mr. Armstrong, Jr., or Mr.
Green, or both. At this period, every
body who rode at all, rode on horse
back it was the fashion. The riding
vehicles of that day were heavy, lum
bering two horse carriages after the
English fashion ; the only exception
was the quaker one horse chair, with
wooden elbow springs. I would not
intimate from the fact of Mr. Gainer
riding to church, occasionally, with
Miss Mary, that there was, or ever had
been anything like courtship between
them there is no evidence to sustain
such a supposition. They were both
going to the same place, from the same
house.
One of Mr. Green's blooded horses
was a splendid animal, bright bay,
black feet, mane and tail ; the latter
s?iin, and reaching to his heels. This
Lorsc Mr. Gainer frequentl- rode,
while Mr. Green would ride the other
saddle horse, which was also a very
fine one. One day while riding to
gellier, Ned said : "Sam, sell roe this
horse ; I have got so accustomed to
his pace that I can't enjoy the riding
of any other horse." "Ned," said
Sain, "don't ask me to sell that horse;
there is not his equal iu the county."
"Sam, I will pay you four hundred
dollars in gold tor this horse in one
year give my note for it to-day."
"Ned, say no more about the horse ;
I can't spare him, and Mrs. Green
would not part with him, as he ii the
only one she will ride."
In a few weeks after this conversa
tion Mr. Green thought better of it
and agreed to take the note, as it was
a great price. Two hundred dollars
would have bought any other horse iu
the neighborhood at that day. In fact,
it took a very good horse to sell for
one hundred dollars.
Mr. Gainer now Logan to look around
the neighborhood to see where he could
buy a farm to please him, as he would
be able topaj'lbr it in less than a year ;
the limitation given in hUdreams would
permit others to handle hit? gold after
that date. This cause4 him to make
frequent visits to the county town to
have titles examined. At last he had
selected a farm, agreed upon the price,
to be paid down in gold, but there was
some doubt about the title ; such was
whispered by the neighbors. So, the
next morning alter breakfast, oil" he
rrt-rt rlo or lito cqloii'lil 1 , . . t--, , t I 1 ,
county town to have the title of that
particular farm thoroughly traced, as
he had set his heart on that as his fu
ture home.
That night he did not return. The
next and the next night came and no
return of Ned or the horse. A tlood
of light broke in upor. the two families
he had fleeced. His trunk was broken
open, and behold ! about half a pi ck
of bright new pennies preseuted them
selves to the astonished gaze of the be
holders !
There were no rajjroads in those
davs ; no telegraph wires over whicli
the news could fly. The fastest loco
motive power was a horse. Ned was
well mounted, two or three days ahead,
and some borrowed money in his
pocket.
How the neighbors talked, how they
shook their sides with laughter, must
be left to the imagination of the reader.
Some said the joke was too good;
others said it was too bad, but about
its quality of good or bad they were
not disposed to quarrel. The fact had
been demonstrated for the ten thous
andth time that "it ia not all gold that
glitters."
THE Poughkeepsie 2Ves in reply to
a suggestion that the exhibiting bear
whiclf has been.making a tour in this
section, be sent to Yassar female col
lege to give lessons in scientific hug-gino-
says: "Don't send the bear.
Send us. We'll go for nothing, and
save the hire of the bear ; besides, we
warrant perfect satisfaction."
A. lawyer and a parson were talk
in about which way the wind was
blowing The former said : "V, e go
bv the court house vane." "And we,"
eidd the parson, "go bj the chinch
n'u c;,l tho lnwvpr. "in
the matter of wind that i. the best an-
vane. mi o. -t ---
i . .... t . i i miiovcMi wonr. i.O '1 c
tnority. i.u. e
ltatm.
"Cording" lour Mot herin-L,a ivy8
Hedstend.
It is a little singular why your wife's
mother will persist in sleeping on a
cord liedstead. Put she does. You
don't think so much of this untij you
are called upon to put it up, which
event generally takes place in the even
ing. The bedstead has lx-en cleaned
in the afternoon, and having leen
soaked through with hot water, is
now ready for p'atiing up. Your wife
holds the lamp and takes charge of
the conversation. The rope has been
under water several times in the course
of the cleaning, and having swollen
to a diameter gi eater than the holes
in the rails, has also got into a lit of
coiling up into mysterious and very
intricate forms. You at first wonder
at this, but pretty soon wonder ceases
to be a virtue, and then you scold.
The thread which has been wound
around the end of the roie to facili
tate its introduction in the holes has
come olf, and you have to roll it up
again. Then after yon have pulled
it through eight holes your wife makes
the discovery that you have started
wrong. The way the rope conies out
of those holes again makes your wife
get closer to tho door. You try again,
and get it tangled in your legs. y
this time you notice that this is the
smallest bed room in the house, and
you call the attention of your wife to
the fact by observing: "Why on
earth don't ypn open the door ? Do
you want to smother me ?" She opens
the door and you start again, and she
helps you with the lamp. First she
puts it on the wrong side to' the rail,
then she moves it so the heat comes
up from the chimney and scorches your
nose. Just as you need it the most
you lose sight of it entirely, and turn
ing around find her examining the
wall to see how that man put on the
whitewash. This excites you, and
brings out the perspiration in greater
profusion, and you declare you will
kick the liedstead out of doors if she
doesn't come around with that light.
Then she comes around. Finally the
cord is laid all right, and you proceed
to execute the very delicate job of
tightening it. The lower ropes are
tirst walked over. This is done by
btepjiing on the first one and sinking
it down, hanging to the head-board
with tlie clutch of death. Then you
step with the other foot on the next
line, spring that down, lose your bal
ance, grab for -the head-board, and
miss it, and come down in a heap.
This is repeated more or less times
across the length of the bed, the only
variety being the new places 3011
bruise. The top cords are tightened
in another way, and you now proceed
to that. You Cist put one foot on
each rail, which spreads with you some,
and as you do it the frightful thought
strikes you that if one of these feet
should slip over, nothing on earth
would prevent you from being split
through to the chin. Then you pull
up the first rope until your eyes seein
to be on the point of rolling out of
their sockets, and the blood in your
veins fairly- groans, and on being con
vinced that you can't pull it any fur
ther without crippling yourself for
life, you catch hold of the next rope
and draw that up, and grunt- Then
you move along to the next, and pull
i-nat' HI1, sum 11, 1 uiio i;;im. o not. uu
have got to the middle and eominence
to think that you are about through,
even if your joints will never again
set as they did before, you some way
or other miss the connection, and find
that you have got to go back and do
it all over. Here 3-011 pause for a few
minutes of oracular refreshment, and
then slowly and carefully work your
way back. You don't jump down and
walk back, because you are afraid to
spread out in that way again. You
sort of waddle back, working the way
inch b3" inch, and with consummate
patience. A man thus stretched across
a liedstead never becomes so excited
as to lose his presence of mind. It
would bo instant death if he did.
Then he goes over it again waddling
and pulling, groaning and grunting,
while his wife moves around with the
lamp, and tells "him to take it cas-,
and not scratch the liedstead an 3- more
than he can help, and that she can't
tell which creaks the most, he or the
bedstead. And after he gets through
she has the audacity to ask him to
biing in the feather beds. In the
dead of .night that man will steal up
to that room and look at that liedstead,
and swear. JDanbury Xcics.
An editor in a smalltown in Indiana
liecame imbued with the whirl of so
ciety, and this is how it allccted him :
"We are in the midst of the season for
parties, dancing, mirth and festivities.
The resined hair of the palij horse trav
els merrily over the intestines of the
ao-ile cat, evoking music to which the
jiapationt feet trip gayly upon the
floor."
A Georgia deacon, tcho had been a
stout opponent of a neic organ which
h'18 church had purchased, tchen called
ripon recently to close the service said:
"Call oh the. machine ! If it can sing
the glory of God, it can pra3' too.
Call on the machine !" -
Xocel Met fi otl of Collecting J'ay for
Some 3-ears ago a widow living on
the liuy of the Ohio and Mississippi
Railroad, owned a 3-oung cow, of
which she was particularly proud.
One da- the express train came thun
dering along and struck and killed the
widow's cow as it stood ruminating
on the track. The w idow applied to
the station agent for pay for the ani
mal, and was told to send in a bill to
the general ollice of the road. She
did so, but received no it ply, and after
writing several times without ellect,
called on the. paymaster thu next time
he w ent through the town to r.y the
section hands. With this ofHei d she
fared no better. Little attention was
paid to her threats until about a week
alter, when the morning passenger
train, bound West, came along. The
station house of Flora is situated at ;
the toj of a gentle slope, about half a i
a mile in length, and which the pas- 1
senger trains always run up at the
regular speed of twent- miles an hour. '
It was a line frost3 morning, ami the
sun was just rising, and the engineer
noticed what he supposed to lie Iros.
plainly glistening on the rails. He
sounded his whistle for the station,
and putting on more steam, started
up the idope. The speed at which the
tram was approaching carried ic anouc
half way up the use, but the driving
w heels of the locomotive spun around
on the rails without pulling an ounce.
The train came to a dead stop and
then began to slide backward:' The
engineer whistled down "brakes and
got olf to inspect the rails. He found,
as he expected, that 11103- were artisti-
cally" covered with soft-soap, and as
he had had some previous experience of i
that khid, knew exactly what to do. j
He backed down the track about half j
a mile, and putting the full head of
steam on, charged at the rise with full j
speed. Vhen he found thesjieed slack-
cuing he opened the sand valves and
allowed the sand i:i the boxes to glide
through the pipes and on the rails iu
front of the driving wheels. This, to
some extent, counteracted the effect of
the soap, and the train got. neal- lift y
yards further than it did Vfore. It
finally stopped again, and the engineer
again backed out and again charged
the rise. The process was repeated
several times, and would have I'nally
been successful had not ti-esand given
out. The soil in the neighborhood
was a soft, dark loan), and where Mie
railroad cut was made a still', yidlow
clay was turned up. No sand, how
ever, could be procured an-whei e, and
finally the whole force of train men
went to work to remove the soap.
This they succeeded in doing after half
an hour's hard work, and nearly an
hour behind time the train reached
the station. A few da3'.s after a simi
lar ditliculty was experienced, and the
road olllcials liegan to get decidedly
angry. An attorne' was sent out
there to discover and prosecute the
perjK'trator, but soon after his arrival
was confidentially informed that the
road would have no trouble in future
if the w idow was paid for her cow.-
He took the hint, telegraphed to the
President, and received the necessary
authority, paid for the animal and left
the place. The track was never soap
ed afterward and the widow got au
oliici 00 v. rf. ij'jtiit? iicinocraf.
Tii 1: m:s T nun.
Of the eight pounds which a 111,111
eats and drinks in a day, it is thought
that not less than five pounds leave
the body through the skin. And of
these five pounds, a considerable per
centage escapes during the night while
he is in bed. The larger part of this
is w ater, but in addition there is much
effete and poisonous matter. This, lie
ing in great part gaseous in form, ier
meates every part of the IkmI. Thus
all parts of the bed mattress, blank
ets, as well as sheets soon become
foul, and need purification.
The mattress needs this renovating
as much as the sheets.
To allow the sheets to be used with
out washing or changing for three or
six months would be regarded as bad
housekeeping ; but I insist, if a thai
sheet can absorb enough of this poison
ous excretion pf the body to' make it
unfit for use in a few days, a thick mat
tress which can absorb and retain a
thousand times as much of these poi
sonous excretions, needs to lie purified
as often certainty as once in three
months. A sheet can be v-ashed. A
mattress cannot be renovated in this
wa3 Indeed, there is no other way
of cleansing a mattress but b3 steam
ing it or picking it to pieces, and thus
in fragments exposing it to the direct
rajs of the sun. As these processes
are scarcely practicable with any of
the ordinary mattresses, I am clecideci
lv of the opinion that the old -fashioned
straw bed, which can cery three
months lie exchanged' for fresh straw
and the tick washed, is the sweetest
and healthiest of lxls.
I f in the winter season the porous
nW of the straw U-d makes it a little
uncomfortable, spread over it a com
forter or two woolen blankets, which
should be w.-vsheds often as evcrv two
weeks - W ith this arrangement, 11 you
NUMBER 21;
wa-h all the Ksl covering as often as
once m one or two wo ks, vou will have
a delightful, healthy beu.
Now, if 3-011 leave the la to air;
with open window? driving the dav'
and not make it up for, the night Kv
fore eveuing, you will have added
greatly to the sweetness of 3-our rest,,
and, in consequence, to the tone of
3'our health.
I heartily wish this good change
could lie everN-wht re introduced. Only
those who have thin attended to this
important matter can jiide of its in-'
lhtencc on the general health and spir"
its. Dio Lewis.
Josh Jtilllii'jH on lore tnul MousZ
tar Lts.
Dear Sii.ui : Yn tell me in vuro let
ter that ure lover haz Ix-on kluss at
tentiv for two years, nnd vu waz wheri
yu liegun. - "
This iz ieskv buthersum.
There ain't no law or o-ocr.? i.
; make a phello pop the question .who
, am t on tlie jop. nor there ain't
j science neither that wont 'van:
no
j Science never ought to lie resorted
; to only in desperate kases, but whare'
. kourting Ixkuins kronik, it is allowa-
uie. ' .. .
No man haz to kourt forever, I'll Ikj
darned if he hez.
I have no doubt that konHiic aver
'ages phull as happy as nft'in-m-irrwl'
out nave got, in tins world, tew
take the letter with the sweet.
lKvir Susan, aftyr yoii have exhaust 7
ed all maidenly and honest debits try
melankollv trv histcriks trv A c-le."
cline, try going tew yure uncle"' for a
fortnite anil see if yure nhello" w-nt
! fortnite
phollo talk about the other world;
(I don't mean Eurupp, but whare
the wean- are at retj try- sich like
tilings.
If all those don't 1 hefcha ki isisan.1
make the kittle hi!e, the lat and onlv
bojio is tew sf.iK a counter irritant in
the shajie ov another jiJieJIo'.
If yu k.t'il make yure lover, iehma
drop him lli,p a kohl pertato ; he ain't'
worth triehig tew warm it p.
If he murys yu it will bo bekause
he kant think of any thing else tew do'
and is entir ely out of a job
Pardon the sincerity ov ini advice;
dear Susan, and do jist as yn please in"
the premises. Adew.
Dear Smiggings : I kant tell vu what
will make yure mustach gro ; suppos.
yu try lamp ile ; if that' don't sprout
it suppose yu try a lioultice ov tan
bark; if that don't jerk it supse vu
buy a ticket in some gift lottery ; aiid
if that don't draw suppose yu" let it
alone and go tew kiiltivating yure
branes.
I hav knu yoitng men tew make jf
mark thfs way in the world who hadn't;
enn; mark on their Upper lip.
PAIL5Y'S D ANBURY NEWS. If VOlf
have got any secrets you can now telt
them to your wife." She will keep
shady.
When in California 'tve savr Joe;
Goodman of the Virginia City EnterS
-riVc. Virginia Citv is 350 miles fro.a
San Francisco, and Joe had conje ovfr
to spend the afternoon. It is a m"iled
country out there.
A Danbury agriculturist rrir.de a'
scarecrow so infernally frightful that"
it iK.f. ".- ko;t airay tho crows, but"
caused a winter-killed pear tree to'
leave.
A milk pitcher, thrown 113- his win
at a Nelson street man on Monday
noon, missed the aim and nfiricd a,
handsome frame which enclosed tho;
words, "God Plcss our Home." . .
A round-shouldered and inquisitive
stranger kicked an ornamental dog 011
a Nelson street ttoop to see if it Va
solid or hollow. It was not an orna
mental dog, however, but one that was
there on business, and the round-shouldered
and inquisitive stranger js not?
quarantined with an atiut On Delay
street
The lawns are quite verdant now
and nature's monograms illuminate the
linen pants of the romantic. The3' are
the only- greenbacks current every
where ' '
TnEKE arc persons now living in1
Denton who rCTjieinlieied old IJilty U.,
of whom it might le said he furnished
an example of the "titling passion'
strong unto death." When very ill;
and fricrrds w ere expecting an early de
mise, his nephew and a man hired for
the occasion had butchered a steer
which had been fatted; and when the
job w as completed the re-phew entered
the sick room, wheie a few friends were
assembled, when to the astonishment,
of all the old nian opened hi &nd
. '. . :.l ill fllll VAlMl'
i turning siignm " ""' -
drawing out the wonts: . -"What
have you been doing f". ,
"Killing the steer," was the reply. ,
What did you do with the hide ?"
"Left it in tb'e barn ; goin' to sell it
by-and-by." .
""Let the bova drag It around the.
yard a couple of times ; it will make
it weigh heavier." ; j
And the good old man was galhercu
unto his fathers.' ,
- - n 1
j.iioif -Hiioq -p'u
iui. orpvjo oifi ut s-;u- 'Ti-ri 0,l