v 143 am tssofeu
W m"w wm hip
3
1 3 V 1 J: ., J-
"v.
1 X
tfcPiKE, Editor and Publisher.
" HE IS A FKEEMAN WHOM THE TRUTH MAKES FHKE, AXD AM. ARE SLAVES BKS1DE."
Terms, S2 per year, m advance.
A A-
YIT.
EBENS1SURG, PA., FPJDAY, JUNE G, 1S73.
In UMBER 20;
S MvM SS.J A t'v' L-f.f -13 fr?- i
ii
t A r r M u v '
WANTED
?
j,B. ' Mue, jgl
CJTATE.MK.NT of the Au-litoi Set- I
tlcimtit willi t In- Supervisors of Chest Towu- I
tliiii or the year .:
NICHOLAS IIKLFiacn. Supervisor
April '-'ii, IS"..
To Hinount of Duplic ate of KoaJ Tax
on rk-ateil Lands
To amount of Unseated Lund Tux received
..Dk-
3S0 55
681 M
I,0ol .7.1
1
cSVfJ AWAY.
YiC-erman Chromo.
I i .n IJ: .: Cliromo. Mouiitnl iinil Kt-ady
i
!
in: nr.
t ree to Kvrrj Aernt.
nils ';ntol 11
IBCiElOUND!
- oi:.
n;r tjik srnrACi:.
: !i IS. W. KXDX.
!;;vi. ISO Vit Knrraviiiirs.
-;iud Accidents lit jond the
: 1 1 tir Advent us es in all p.irts
i rid Mude of Working t hem:
! Sinietv; ( iarn t intr and its
ami their Mysteries: The
it - i i n -js ; l'risims and their
t lie I . pt hs of t he Sen: Si rutin i
'-: i-tioti of Crime. The Imnk
Mie with liriirands ; nights in
- i inldiiiK hi lis ; life in rison ;
: advent'ires anionir Iniiians;
!i -i-wers n nd -a tiu oni hs ; aeei
iii ml es and pi r.u : t ort u r-s of
i.ndctT ul till i hi l it s ; under-
:' t el t ies. el c , t e.
.ts for this work, on which wo
.rritory. AK'titscau make leo
'his hook. Send lor circulars
,; 1. 1 Miretits.
.1. 1. lU'UH & IIYn K,
.; I. Conn., or t-'hieatro. 111.
t , .;vs '.- v. AVVT.O KOIt THE
;!;!: T iXDUSTHIES
; . ' ' :!!:!) state.
: - I '
t .
. t
ti , i,n
"' LNGHAV1NOS PH1NTETJ IN
i.;:::VN. Wli.TTKN 11V t) I.MI-
-. iM i.i w.vii john ii. ;ol;ii,
' l KiiWAHI) liOWI.AMl, HKV, K.
. I HII.II' IIII.KV, AI.IIUKT HIIIHANK,
i I f 1 . V, It. 1'KHKl.NS. K'il'., ETC.
- ,i i ,. in plett; history of all I ranch-
4 :,,.,i--i;. . m isses of manufacture, etc.,
I ,-. It is a complete eticj irlopedia ot
: i i, uii-i ii i er,, iiiiu i i ne iiiiim iiuei
' v.iluiilile Hulk of iuli.i mat ion on
, neial interort ever olTered to the
- adapted to the wants of the Mer
; .1 i-turer. (p'cllali;,, I'a riiiir, St u
!n eiitiir, an sells to hotli old m-.d
lasses. 'The 1mm K ii sold hy him-iiIs,
iiiy liirsre sales in all put ts of the
I: is olleri-d lit tile low IM !; of J. A,).
f 'n .ip-.t liook ever sold ly sul ,s,. l ip.
t .' tamily shcuid ! withont a i opv.
J .-i.ts in every town in the I'liited
l -i : l nn Aiii-'il mil fall to iln well
. I i'ir tiTins mi' HtiiTal, V- tix e
. nls Cue xelusive riulit of tei rit ,r .
our nsri'iits sold MS copies In eiht d.ixs.
r sidd :i;i in two weeks. I'ur :!eiit in
r, sold :i'.'T in one Willi. Spi iiH( iis ( f
k sent to nenfs on reteipt ol stamp,
nlars and terms to n-retifs ii'l'ln ss the
i ts. j. n. lii icit .v ii v Dr:,
Hartford, Conn , or Chiei.-o. Ill,
I' I0Ult TO l'OST-OFFICi:.
t.CCFPER & SHEET-IRON WARE
V : c ' ' "tly taken possr ssion of thenew-
!,;' i-d commodious hniliiiiix on Hiuh
. t i i ..us east of the I tunic and nearly
f ; ; !i;ii.i::i House, the subscriber i
i - i , r ! thai! ever to niHimf jeture all
t : ' 1 ! N.COITEH und SH KKT-IUON
K y. i "f which will be furnisheil to
I -.'.i :,. . i y lowest, living (n iees.
:.i - -.' er:i!so proposes to keep a full
I ,r ' -'i m-- ! ! n etit of
tinfTjFarlcr nnd Heating Stoves
1 ' f l! t iiinHt f.pproved designs.
.' mid K X (l'lNf! n.adr to crdrr
1 ! rt'ect in t!iai:i;fiicti:re at.d t:sa-
iiV.l' i . I I . irom lit I v n t tcinli'il to.
if
I
:
i
'L'
i:
be I'M- will be done l ilit and
! ail STOVKSttr.d WAoP, w.id
r : .;-.! upon as to ;u..bt and
M in priee. A out Ir.uai'.ec
: ninns'o is re-pi ctfully si.liei-
:': be wanting to render cn
" all.
VAT.T.TE LL'TRIXGEH.
is;o.-t f.
i'
RlCSaMVABIETY STORE.
t
i
I
s.
'v I'tvi
':,. r
V ,'i,
H,: i :
t
ii !y eulai rfeil our stock we are
' '1 lo sell at a jfr-tt reduction
! i is. Our stoik ironsists of
' -. 1'et f limcry, Katu-y Joaps,
fi i Alh-u's Hair Itettoratives,
. -:astcri. Liniments, l'aiu Kill
' L-.it-sin. Kss. Jamaica (iinjror,
- l.xiraets, Es nees. Lemon
- j i up, Spiceu Syrup, Khu barb,
. .v. .
c.53rG andlTobacccs,
'" Is. Notes and Houds: Cap,
' -: : ', i: and ali kinds of Note I'apcr ;
P" '' l'encils. Arnold's Writinir
. I, k ' I H"'l Ink. "J'ocket and I'ass
. ..... i At-w. papers. Novels. Ilisto-
' " i." 'i'l-nis, J'raver and Toy Hooks,
.-; ,. ' ' to our stock a lot of FIXE
' Inch we wouldlinvite the at-
i . ."" ' ' i :.
..r' ''il AI.Itl'MS at; lower prices
r' ' i "ti his place.
-' s iid either who!esal or rc-
, .). , l!.MMi- M'.KKAV,
Main Street, Eliensburgr.
ray !
l"T!i
' "l-l
I'Tkv
I., .
' iiri-ii.
'"'ar i,i
: -. i
"r in;...
" ii. ,;.
u ..
' N, vraduateof HentalSur
' M '! informs the iiublie that
h inted in EHKNSllCKC,
inn everv dav of the week.
' r havinif had ample prac
' s'-ven yeai s, does not hesi
:t h.- in ti ip perfect satis--i
'l.ii ini; to the profession,
'.o.ii iil an'! Surifical Den-:"-
s-i, imii,M,:iv performed,
uiven to tillinf itecaved
Mia' ted without pain. For
ii CMm-iM-niii pric-, etc.,
liifli street, opposite th
re may be examined snin
" "i 'i iind i,c aern Vt he
may 25.-tf.l
m Fit
: ; ,.
' H)IM) HOUSE,
1 in i
"Mi
-arris, - Proprietor.
. 1 1 furni.died the above
' ' i i .. p111:u. ijotel, t he prepn-
! I't'i'i-.c-ed to accommodate
' , !:!i Miiii their patrtMiaifc.
K"'- nii'ird , will be served
," ., ",' 'In- U.ir will be kept
;'' ' '' e ( l:oicest liipiors,
,' - .Vabi.. v. id be iMid.-r th;
; 11 ! iitn iuiie hostler. Xo
' ''"''T quests comfort -'
' i, iy particular, and
I I : 1 1 . nM,j j, moderate
; i u tor l,i,,rs to w in his)
(May ), lST:i.-tf J
Cn.
Tiy T:ix wnrkvd nut on Hoads. . J'O ."
" personal services 08 37
" amount paid T. It. Scanlun,
Attorney fees 25 00
" Cambria Frei'imin, printing S no
" dow furnished Township. 10 00
" materials, etc 1- Vi
" amount paid John Thomas,
Supervisor 1 10 00
amount paid Jacob Deitrich,
Auditor S 00
" do. lialtzer Helfrich. Aud r. 3 00
" do. Jaeoli Kirkpatriek. Au'r :! U0
do. .las. M'Cance, for work, 12 51
" do. Supervisor for :7:5 515 17
" eotnmls'n on 17; S0 pd. out. 8 47-fLV;l 5T
JOHN" THOMAS, Supervisor, Dit.
Aju il -'0, '73 -To amount of Duplicate 35!) (M
To order on X. Hcllricli
cn.
410 U
Hy am't Work done on Koads.-SMTK OS
" pei-sonal wrvicfS 57 00
" cash ree'd from Taxablis... 27 00 410R8
We. the Auditors of Chest Township, certify
the above to he a correct statement of the ac
counts of said Township.
JACOll KIKK PATHICK, I , , .
.lAHll! DIKTKIKCH, , Auditors.
Attest 1 Al' i. Yaiinkk. Clerk.
Chest Twp., April M, 1?73. 5-21.-3t.l
O T ATE MlTn T of SI ITT I. VSl EXT
with the Supervisors of Allegheny Town
ship for the rear 17:; :
CHAHLES FLICK, Supi-i vi.-ii , Dr.
Toamouutof his I u'Ii at S' 71
due T.vp. ut last settlement. ! 12
Tly
Cn.
To
I'.v
Work done by Ta Tables JC-5 PS
Townshin Orders paid 4 12
E.xollenitiolis 11 H5
TIme-ld days ("i, ?1 50 ? 1'- 1""'
Workilonewithhisowntu.ini I'l )!7
Lhbor hired ?: 4i
l'uttinir up notices 1 1-
Mistake in last settiement ffi
One daj-attendiii,,' eeitlemeiit 1 . 0
One shovel broken o'J - $720 S3
I'ETEIl MELHOHX, Sitprrrfnor, "i"
u mount i f Uui'lieate for lf7J fill 3-t
Cit.
Work done by TaTables C5"5 05
Exonoi atious io
( )ne order paid - 45
Titao-3:j days Q, i.5j y day. VJ W-T407 10
Iliilance due Township 4 24
We.Tthe iindersiyned. Auditors of Alletcheny
Townshii, ilo hereby certify that we hare care
f.illy examined the above accuuuts and lind
them as above stated.
W. A. H. LITTLE, 1
JXil. A. M-MI LI.EX.' Auditors.
Jii-.TOMU.NSON, )
A ttest Jo.-Ei'ii lina.. Twp. Clerk.
Allegheny Twp., Apiil 14, 1S73. 15 30.-3C
' Pill A
trial
II I A L LIST. C:uif.s si-t down lor
at a Court of Common 1'ieas, to be
held at Eber, -I (i nr. f r I'aiiibiia coiiili, coiu
mencinji on Jionday. Juii -i''. X. U. ls;5 :
s r.i 1 1 n u w i : k K .
dates s. Woi;' & V.'clshons.
11 .j uiphrcv.s vs. I- linn.
I'l el is vs. l'it ts .'f. ol.
Lloyd vs. Somi ri ille i HippS.
liiirri tt's Adm'is vs. Collin.
M-Cri's-in is. Ilubts.
Caiiibria Iron Co vs. Christy.
i 'il 1 1 er-i 'll Co vs. K rNe t t. ul.
Murphy vs. Nutter.
Me'.; omle's !Cx'r3 vs. W likens rt. ol.
Nutter vs. Wiaklnnd.
Kinney f Ita niioes s. Stephenson & Co.
Myers & Co vs. Kes.sier.
MetJIade vs. Hammer.
Krise vs. N'rason.
o' 1 on: iell rt. (tl vs. A ride.
MeCuire vs. Wharton.
Itiack vs. Howell.
Hendon vs. Trexler.
H:pis& Lloyd vs. Hai ti r.
o'Kriel vs. Sweeny.
lirot lu rline vs. Younjjkin.
He If rick vs. Hipps.
Jones vs. 1'owill.
A ke vs. Lloyd.
Tiley vs. Abt'on.
Cree vs. Louder Miller.
J. K. II I'l L. I'roth motarv.
Prothontary's Oilice, Ebensbiir. May 5, 1S73.
LICENSi: NOTICE.Pctitions for
License to be resenteil at June Ses
sions, is',3 :
T AVFItN.
CleaiTieM Twp. H. Marletf, O. A. Ereneman.
Croj I if Township M ii.h'l (jates. I rank Kurtz.
C.:i r-llticvn IJos o'Jirli- l'au: K!wauy;er, An
drew II. Halt?. Law ri'iiec Schrot h.
Chest Township-Thomas ott, Geo. Crook.
I lu st Springs Itorocpti Silas A. Mctlou-rh.
r.bi-nst ui-j i:nriMii;hJoiiii Fiizharrts, West
Ward ; it. p. Linton Son. East Ward.
(la liitzin Township M ichael i-'itzharris, W. II.
Maeomber. J'ich'l McMorris, Malhew liiiaui,
M. F. Kelly, Margaret Knne.J
Lorctt; L'oro'- Florian Henjrcle, F. X. Ilaid.
Summit ille Itorouh John C. Holand, in.
Linii.n, Christ i-in Keich.
Wasliinifton Township Christopher Rohine,
Oeorffe W. Mulliii, Mrs. Annie Murphy, Jacob
S. Kiel.
Wilmore Eorouifh Heorge Wen'roth, Joseph i
Horner, Valett; ine Maltzie. I
White Towrship John Vounkin. I
KATING HOl'SS. I
Carrolltown lioroujfh Julius Stelch, Henry i
Blurn. )
F-bennbursr MorouMrh Michael Latterner.
Munster 'J'ownship-rChristina 1 tel.
Washington Township M. 15. McLausrhlln.
AVilmore Itoro' John Schroth. 1'eter Erniire.
Patrick F. Kirby.
J. K. HITE, Prothonotary.
Prothonotary's Office, Ebensbuir, Myti, 1S73,
d
i:
3
,. , 1 "t'l'tp Printing
L1 X E C U T 0 1 S ' NOT I C E .
J Estatoof Onto Stvneh, deo'd.
Letttr3 Testamentary on tho estate of onto
Stvxkh, late of Washiinrton township, deo'd,
having been granted to the undersigned by the
Register of Cambria county, notice is hereby
piven to all persons indebted to said estate that
payment must be made without delay. and those
having claims against the same will present
Ihein properly proliated for settlement.
F. M. tJF.OKOI- Exc.cutors
JOSEPH C'KISTE, 1 LXCCUlors
Hemlock, May 10, ls73.-it.
Kxocutor's IVoticc.
T K1TKHS TKSTAM KN'TAIU on t he Estate of
Ij Jkkemiau Xooxan, late or Miinster town
ship, Cambria county, deceased, havitiK been
granted by the Itcister of said county to the
undersigned, all persons indebted to said estate
are remu-fited to make immediate payment, and
those:na viii claims airainst the same will pre
sent theni prperlv authenticated lor settle
ment. EI l.A XOOXA.V. VTccutricts
AO N ES XO IX A X. i t-cc"lrlcts.
Munster Twp., April 18. Ii73.-5t.
Instate Notice.
HAVING obtained Lettt rsof Administration
cn the Estate of Pktek J. Dpmm, late of
Harr 'O vnship, Cambria county, dee'd. theiin
deisiVned hereby notifies all persons indebted
to said estate that payment must be made with
out delay, and those havlnsr claims na-ainst the
same will present thorn properly authenticated
for settlement. HENltV S.DUMM,
iiarr Twp., April 1. 1878.-6t. A dm r.
T A T E OF F I IAN CIS D II ASS,
T)Kr'n. Letters Testamentary to the Es
tate of Eraut is Drass, late of Chest township,
dee'd, having been irranted to the unilersijrned,
widow of the decedent, all persons Indebted to
paid estate ure rcpistcd to make pavment as
soon as possible, a iid those huvinsr ilainis amiinst
tin- same will present them properlv authi'ilti
cated for settlement. AXXA DliASS,
Cliest Twp., May '., Is73.-6t. Executrix.
Cy AUTIOX. Ail persons arc hereby
cautioned airaiiist interferintr In nnv way
with all and sintrular the household and kitchen
furniture contained in tho dwelling of David '
D. Watt, of Harr township, Cambria county. 1
the same having been purchased bv me at eon- .
stable sale and left with the said David D.Watt
during my pleasure. J. D. M AHTIX.
Green Twp., Indiana Co., May 2J, ls73.-at.
AO COTTAGK roll JIJJ.
This talk about love is all nonsense and
stuff.
A very small diamond, exceedingly rough;
Just give nie a twenty-live thousand a year.
Your moonshine and cottago may both dis
appear ;
Provided with mansion, well furnished in
style,
Rethinks I would manage my time to be
guile. A span of line horses, a pony or two,
My dear little phaeton, I'll not forget you;
"With dresses in plenty, with diamonds and
lace,
oh ! then would I carry a right happy face,
A wee little cottage, with trimmings, you
see,
"With my constitution yould never agree.
And as to a husband, pray what would I
care
If taller or shorter, with black or white
hair !
The fact is, if money were plenty about,
That foolish incumbrance we'd gladly leave
out ;
An infinite trial we greatly contemn,
And taking their purses we've got to take
them.
O, yes ! we know some of theni are real
nice beaux.
So very good-looking and wear such fine
clothes,
Convenient at pailies, at concerts, and
rout ;
Hut then, for one's husband, forever about,
It must be so tiresome, so tedious I'm sure,
And then, 'tis an evil not easy to cute.
An evening at home, with the stockings to
darn,
For nie never had irresistible charms.
A cold winter morning, with breakfast to
pet,
I never could see any romance in yet ;
A cook, if you please, to get breakfast for
me
To do stupid housework I could not agree.
Home is rather nice, on a dark, rainy day,
If there's a new novel, ami music to play ;
IJ ut think of my buying and cooking the
meat,
The turnips, potatoes, and all that we eat,
With husband to scold nie, with children
to tease
Not any nice cottage for me, if you please!
WHY I LlirT TllK MASOZS.
Want to know why I lell the Ma
sons ? Well, I'll tell you, and I rather
think you would leave them too, if you
got into such a scrape as I did.
Years ago, when I Hist joined, I was
very punctual in my attendance at the
Lodtre meetings, much to the disgust
of my wife, who, with the whole fami
ly, was continually quizzing me about
our doings at our meetings, ami upon
my asserting that riding a goat wad a
part of my business, she insisted upon
knowing all the particulars about the
animal until, to silence her, 1 said I
would bring him home and show him.
Of course 1 never intended to keep my
promise, but an unlucky fate ruled
otherwise.
One night about 11 o'clock, as I was
plodding home from the Lodge, I heard
in advance of me a continuous pathetic
bleating, and I soon came up with a
large goat standing upon the walk,
who had evidently lost his bearings
and wandered away, and being in great
grief, was crying, "I want to go home."
1 never liked goats, and my first im
pulse was to kick this one (and I have
always regret let I 1 didn't do it), but
the mournful tone of his voice created
a little sympathy for him in my breast,
and I patted him kind!' on the head,
and went on. But the goat followed
close to my heels, and although I as
sured him hia home did not lie this
way, but was probably down the street
we had just crossed, he persisted. As
we approached ni- home I more ear
nestly remonstrated with him on his
folly, and finally persuaded him by go
ing with him and constantly patting
him on the rear with the toe of my
boot, to return one row. I was much
out of breath myself, and I said to the
goat, "Now, old fellow, sit down on
the curb and rest yourself you're tired
I'll be back in a minute just want
to go around the corner" and I start
ed on the run, but in a moment the
goat was at my heels, i reached home,
darted up the steps, opened the door,
and with a feeling of great relief step
ped in ; when, to my horror, through
my legs into the hall bounded that
goat with a triumphant bleat that
echoed through the upper halls and
chambers, awakening the whole house
hold. The hall lamp was burning
brightly, but up the stairway all was
dark, and I saw at a glance that every
thing was arranged for the special con
venience of gazers from above. The
goat had retired to the further end of
the hall and stood facing me, occasion
ally bleating, but as I began to be
somewhat exercised in my mind about
them, I cannot say whether the tones
were those of triumph or ridicule, or
of defiance. "Whatever they were, I
declared war at once and made for the
goat, who seemed to understand that
I meant business, and he met me half
way with a blow from his head which
staggered me, following it up with an
other and another, till 1 began to ima
gine myself a fortress assaulted, by a
small battering ram, and was about to
yield to the enemy; when he had driven
iiie back to the foot of the stairs, ho
retreated to his position at the other
end of the hall, and again faced me.
"Hound number one first hit for
the goat," came tomy ears from aloft,
and as I cast my eyes upward a peal
of laughter came tearing down the
stairs, and I could just perceive a crowd
hanging over the banisters of both
fiights.which I knew full well was made
up of wife, children, a waggish young
friend who lived with us, two visitors
and the servants a full audience in
the dress circle looking down to see
the fun.
"Oh, pa's brought home the goat,"
said one of the children.
"Yes, and he's practising with it,"
said another.
"Which degree is that performance
in?" asked my wife.
"(Jlad we didn't go to the theatre
to-night," chimed in one of the visitors.
"Time! Time!" shouted my young
friend from the upper tier, ami I tho't
so too, and went for the second round.
But now I changed my tactics ; I
advanced slowly, keeping close to the
wall and endeavoring to get behind
the least, thinking I would try the pats
on his rear with my boot again, in
hopes they would calm him and per
suade him to retire, as they had done
before out-d oors; but he evidently ob
jected to a "change of base," and once
more "charged home" upon me.
This time I caught hi:n by the horns,
and the struggle commenced in earnest.
The goat lifted up its voice in loud
protestations of "foul" play, and I
opened my mouth and gave utterance
to hopes and wishes in regard to goats
in general and this one in particular,
w hich it might not be proper to repent
here, as I had my hands so full at the
time that I could not give my usual
thought and attention to the selection
of the elegant words and expressions
which usually characterize my conver
sation. I finally said : "You brute,
you won't go out, ha ! but " and he
butted, and he was the strongest but
ter I ever met w ith so strong that in
spite of my holding by his horns, he
spread himself all over the hall, so
thoroughly stirring me up that 1 lay
down on the floor to recover my equa
nimity, at which the goat suggested a
series of round tumblings, which we
went through with honor to ourselves,
and with great satisfaction to the de
lighted audience and at the end of
w hich I picked in v self up from the floor
at the foot of the stairs and saw the
goat regaining his corner at the end of
the hall giving a victorious bleat as
he did so.
"Bound number two fist knock
down for the goat,'" came from aloft,
and an outburst of cheers and clapping
of hands followed.
"Oct on the goat and ride him, pa,"
tried one of the children.
"Don't you need a saddle, dear?"
queried my wife. "Won't the door
mat do ?"
Human nature could stand it no
longer. I was furious, and sprang for
the animal, regardless of time and sit
uation. He also started for me under
full sail, and as we closed, I sprang
high in the air witli legs wide apart,
and his head and neck passing under
me, I lit square on his back, seized his
short tail, gave it a twist, and at the
same time, to make all even, gave my
legs a twist under him. I felt that I
was getting the best of it this time,
ami as 1 gave the tail an extra twist,
I shouted, "Now goat !" but he must
have understood me to say, "Now go
it!" for away he went up and down the
hall, backwards and forwards, the goat
wild and I nearly so, but lieo-inninj;
rather to enjoy the ride as I liesird the
laughs and cheers of the spectators,
anl knew they were for me this time,
ami especially when, through all the
chorus of shouts, I heard the commend
atory words from my wife, "Don't he
ride nice for a new beginner?"
At this point the goat, disgusted
either with the use he was being put
to, or at the peculiar curve I was giv
ing to his tail, bolted out of the door,
and as he did so I let go, rolled olf,
sprang up and shut the door just as
the goat, having turned on the step,
charged upon me again and came w ith
his whole force crashing against one
of the panels of the door, which he split;
but from the noise outside, I judged
the concussion threw him down on the
steps and extorted from him a loud
bleat of mingled despair and contempt
uous indignation.
"Bound number three goat flung
out of the ring," came down the stairs,
followed by ringing cheers and shouts
of "Bravo, bravo!" I put out the
light, and as I ascended the stairs, my
wife commenced singing
"See the conquering hero comes !"
with chorus by the entire company.
For some time I had a tender spot,
the touching of which would make me
leap from my chair and fairly rave
round the room, and do my best 1 could
not regain the ground I lost that night
on the Masonic question. Batteries
opened upon every Lodge night, and
one charge for wheat bran appeared
on my grocery bill, which my wife said
was for the goat when he came again,
until I could stand it no longer, and
effected a compromise by agreeing to
o-ive up the Lodge and stay at homo
nights, if the shadow of the goat would
leave the house forever. Our compro
mise has been faithfully kept, and I
would advise all Masons, no matter
how importunate their wives may be
in their curiosity about the goat, never
to bring him home to gratily it, or they
r' ... t i i rr I r 1 i
way repent it as i uiu
CA 1'TA 7A JA CX.
IS EXHAUSTED I1ISTOU1 OF THE KODOC WAR.
Air Captain Jinks.
BY HON. M. T. JL'GG, ESQ.
-Tuam Herald.
These lines were found by our re
porter in the Modoc camp, after their
retreat, and were evidently written bv
the great .lack himself for the Ameri
can public, and we give them for what
they are worth. At ic York Lyre.
I'm Captain Jack of the Lava Beds,
Ami 1 am chief of the Modoc Ueds,
I scalp the white men round the heads,
' For I'm King of the Modoc Italians.
The white men taught tuc how to lie,
II ow to lie,
How to lie,
And that is tiow the reason why
There's war with the Modoc Indians.
Spoken, in Big Indian character, a
la Coriolanus, w ith old plug and patent
leather moccasins :
Yes, gentlemen, taught me how to
lie, not that I did not li? before ; in
fact, I thought myself pretty good in
that line, till I came across the white;
man. Oh! why, why did they cross
the red man's path ? Why did they
not leave us alone happy and contented
in our wigwams, scalping the few set
tlers that c.ime along, and stealing
after our primitive fashion ? But now
all is changed, since the agents and
traders came and darkened our path.
Lie! ch, I remember one. He came
and sat leside me so calm, and told
me about Mr. Washington and a tree.
I thought I was pretty good myself
till then, but Mr. Washington beat me.
1 then asked him if he believed the
story. He said yes. I then thought
he beat Mr. Washington. He said he
had come from down East, and had
been silling people wooden oats, but
they didn't want any more, and that
he had come out West to treat with
the noble red man, the Indian. He
told me that he always read the dime
novels, and thought that nothing was
more majestic than to see the Bed In
dian stalking on his native volcanoes
with a plug hat. He said it was grand,
especially the hat. I told him I had
no segars, when he told me he had
some splendid stuff for the hair, to pre
vent it falling olT. and wanted to trade
for f kins. It's a fearful death. Well
I tried the stuff on his own Lead, and
then I knew he lied.
For I raised the hair from off his head,
Am! laid hi:.i in his lava bed.
1 weld to think of what lie said
To Jack ul' the Modoc Indians.
To shoot an Indian is no sin,
I'.ut what a rix they will lw in
"When they have no red men left to skin
In this great American country.
Oh, what then will the agents do,
1 he Quakers, too,
A ml all their crew,
"When they have no Joh left to put thro'
On the North American Indians.
Spoken : Yes, jobs. Talk of mov
ing on the first of May, that's nothing.
They keep us moving all the time.
Oh, when I think of my poor country
men it almost makes me weep. Car
actacus and his little Britains ain't a
patch to it. How these agents will
come and pow-wow, with their Fourth
Ward w hisky (aside, 1 w ish 1 had some
now), and try to steal the red man's
brains, and make the poor Indian sell
his birth-right for an old army blanket,
a box of paper collars turned, with a
few imitation brass earrings, Cash.
Yos, these felli-i-.-? on nie nirnin tome the
other day, and I thought I would ask
the white men when they were going
to settle for that little Modoc real es
tate. They said that was all right,
that the Great Father was very bus'
trying to get honest commissioners for
the Vienna exhibition, when I wept,
and that they were investigating the
Credit Mol-ilier, ami when they had
got at the truth of it, why then, cer
tainl, my case would be attended to.
I was too much affected to speak or to
ask when these things would lie.
For that was more than I could lx-ar,
So I was forced to take their hair,
It broke my heart I do declare,
It's rough on the Modoc Indian.
I'm sick of talk, its overdone ;
Hut if you want to see some fun,
You ought to see the white man run
Away from the Modoc Imlian.
I thought they'd talk us out of breath ;
it of breath,
Out. of breath,
You know it is a terrible death,
For a chief of the Modoc ai tuy.
Spoken : Yes, gentlemen, if you
only knew what we poor Indians have
to stand you wouldn't begrudge us the
few scalps we take. Yes, gentlemen,
and the wa' we are lilielled in the dime
novels is terrible. Peace! why there
is no peace for the Indian. 'Twas only
the other day, as I was quietly sitting
in my lava bed reading, r man came
in and wanted to know if I wasn't lost.
I asked him what he meant. He said
he had come from the New York Her
ald, and his business was to find peo
ple. I asked him who said I was lost,
and he said General Oillem said so. I
said there must b'.' a mistake; it's Oil
lem that's lost, and not me. He then
asked me what I thought of cotton I
told him it was gomi to stuff in the
ears. He then said my case was very
bad. I asked him if anybody killed
anybody else where he came fvom. 1 le
said, oh, yes, but they are all insane.
I asked how that was. He said it was
cn account of the paper currency,
which puzzled me. lie their advised
I me to have my case tried in the New
i York courts. 1 asked him how many
more cases tliere were like mine. lie
said about fifty, and it might be one
hundred years lufore my turn came,
but I could give bail. I smiled, but
he was serious. He then asked me if
; any of my relations had ever killed
t w hite people before. I said I thought
! they nil had. He then said it must run
in the family, and that I was eertalnly
crazy. I said they had almost driven
j me so. I asked him how I should act
( when mv trial came. He said you
must act very odd. Give back what
money you ve had from the Govern
Why Aunt Stllie Arrcr MarrinC
"Now, Aunt Swllie, do please tell us
why you never got married. You; rc
meml'cr you said once that when von
were a girl you was engaged to a min
ister, and promised you would tell us
al out it some time. Now, Aunt, please
tel its. "
"Well, you see, when I was alut
seventeen years old I was living in
Utica, in the State of New Ycrk.
Though I say it myself, I was quite a
good-looking girl then, and had several
beaux. The inw that took my fancy.
was a young minister, a very promising
..... ,..-.v... , - , . .
meat and throw bread pills at the ot.ng niau, an-i ie.ua. ku.... ..ousa.i.i
judge. I said I hadn't got the money U-ady. He thought a good deal of me
from the agents yet, and as fur bread a,ul 1 kiui1 of took 41 f:UU'-v to Mm' ant
it. wis, ci'otionn'l insnnitv I st...l tilings Went Oil till WC WCTC CllgagC(.
how that was. Well, he said, von ne eveimig he came to me and put his
must first see the judge and jury. I
asked him then if I was to le tried
blindfold. He said 1 didn't under
stand, but it was as easy as rolling oif
a log. He then asked me for twenty
live cents for car fare. I told him I
really hadn't time, as I could hear the
troops coming to surpiise me, and I
must meet them. So now, kind read
ers, IJood-bye. Tf I should never come back,
I hope they'll have some army ta.-k,
Take my advice keep oil' the track
Ufa ha!f starved Modoc Indian.
wl y j. i i:i:ij:i jii:jt.
First. Just married; dest ined to lin
ger in clover, new mown hay, and f-uch
. harbage from nine to twelve months, i
j Then I
j Second. Some black, rascally, stor
my night you are turned out intostrei ts
and ponds and mill races or amid snow
eighteen inches deep, and drifting like
blazes, ami told to run for the doctor.
; When you get home again, eight chan
, ces to t 'n, a little red flannel looking
tiling, about the size of a potato, aw aits :
you. They will call it a baby, and j
packed up with it you wil. find the first
squalls of married life you can bet on
that. !
Tiiiid. Paregoric ami soothing syr
up, and catnip tea, and long flannel,
and diaper stuil', and baby colic
they will come along too ; in fact, they
will become just as much at home in
the house as dinner. Then j
j Fourth. One of these nights, in
I "Tir- v small h u;-s avout lit - twa'.l," I
arms around me, and kind of hugged
me, w hen 1 got excited and some tlus
t rated. It was a l.tr.g time ng, and I
don't know but what 1 might hae
hugged back a little. I was like any
other girl. an. I pretty soon I pretended
to le mad about ii, and pp.sked him
away, though I wasn't mad a bit. Yoti
must knu' thai the ho use where I lived
was on one of tin back streets of the
; town. There were glass doors in the
j parlor, which opened over tho street.
These doors were ilr.iwn to. I stepped
j back a little from him, and when he
( came up close I pushed him back jtgain,"
i I pushed him harder than I intended,
to ; and don't you think, girls, the poor
fellow lost his b.dauce and fell through
one of the doers into the street."
"Oh, Aunty ! Was he killed ?"
"No. He fell head first, and as he
was going I caught him bv the legs ef
his trousers. 1 held on for a minute
and tried to pull him back ; but his sus
penders gave way, and the poor young
man fell clear out of hispantaloous into
a parcel of ladies and gentlemen along;
the street."
"Oh! Aunty! Aunty! Lordy !"
"There, that's right ; squall and gig
gle as much as you want to. Girls that
can't ht ;ir a little tiling like that with
out tearing around the room and he-he-uig
in such a way don't know enough
to come in when ii tains. A nice time
the man who marries one of you will
have, won't I.e. Catch me telling vou"
anything again."
"But, Aunt Sallie, what became of
him? Did von ever see him again?"
"No ; the moment he touched the
uViiiturn out r gain. Barefoot and ground he got up and left that place in
1 icy, disconsolate sense of dampness all
: about: you. onlv a cotton shirt, or such
j a matter, between you and the dis-
j tressed openness of a cane scat chair,
i vou will di trr.ctudlv rock that babv
i . -
! back and forth, and bob it up and
down, singing, meanwhile, with a voice
like a wild ox in a slaughter yard :
j "This thing is playing out, Mary, ;
j Hock o"lye, baby, on a tree top," !
or some such niilody. And all the
I time that baby yells. Oh, doesn't he
: yell ! while Mary, up to her nose under
the warm bed-covers, to help out, every
now and then impatiently puts in, just
' at the wrong place, "Why don't you
trot him faster, Edward ?" And you
trot him oh how you do trot him!
If you could only trot his wind out so
, far that he never could get any of it
laek, or break his back or Leek, or
something, you would be imrneasura-
bly happy. But no. The little inno-
cent seems touirher than an Jnilia j til
ler car-spring. J list as you are about
' giving up, concluding that you inu$t
i freeze, that there will certainly have
' to le a funeral in the house inside of
I thirty-six hours, baby wilts from sheer
! exhaustion, and then, with teeth chat
i tering like a McCormick reaper, you
I crawl in by Mary and try to sleep
again. j
Fifth. Gradually 3011 glide away
j into a tangled maze of ice. skating
j weather, steam-whistle voiced babies,
' Jockey club, sleigh rides, crinoline im-
niense as the old bell at Moscow, In
dian ambuscades, snow storms, and
forty other equally cheerful things ;
suddenly
Sixth. A snort, a thrash, .1 wild
throwing upward of little arms and
legs, and then keen and shiill conies
the terrible "ah-waah! ah-waah!" again;
I guess you wake up, don't you ? s
"(Jet the paregoric and a teaspoon,
quick !" says Mary, in a sharp, staccato
tone, "and why don't you get it?"
In jtirst three-eighths of a second you
are a Grecian lend out there on the
cold floor, dropping paregoric in a tea
spoon. Hurry! Gracious! little Ed. describ
ing diabolical curves with all the arms
and legs he'd got, and screaming one
hundred pounds to the square inch,
and Mary rearing around there in the
bed, making a rocking-chair of her
back, and yelling "By, by O," tike a
wild Comanche on the war path. Oh,
no; circumstances are not such as to
make you hurry away. And then to
think that ns days, and perhapn years.
u:d
working. ,
a terrible hurry. I tell vou it was a sight
to be remembered. How that man ilM
run ! He went out West, and I believe
he is preaching out in Illinois. But he
never mariied. He was very, modest,'
and I suppose he was so badly fright
ened that time that he never dared trust
himself near a woman again. That,'
girls, is the reason why I never mar-
ried. I felt very bad about it for a long
time for he w as a real good man, and
I've often thought to myself that we
should have been very happy if his
suspenders hadn't given way."
Thk Country Gentleman suggests p.
way to prevent hens from eating their
eggs. It is to lill an egg with a solu
tion of pepper, f :. put, the egg back
hi theuesi,. A Daiibury man has tried'
this and sa3's it works like a charm.
He put a pretty good dose of pepper,
in the egg, ami placed it in the nest of
the criminal. Pretty soon the i'k-ii came
around, and took hold. Jtv.asabrin
dle animal, with long legs, and some-"
what conceited. It dipped in its bill
and iuhahtl thv delicacy. Then it came
out dMrs. It didn't gallop out, wo
don't mean, but it came mil came out'
to look at the scenery, and foe if it
was going to ram. Its luoulli was wide,
open, and the Anthers on the top of
its head stood straight up. Then, it
commenced t o go around the aid like
a circus horse. Once in a while it
would stop ami pu- h out one kg u! a"
tone of astonishment, and then holler
"lire," and start on ."gain. The other
hens came out to look on. Soon the
hens from the neighbors came over the
fence, and took up a position of obser
vation. It was quite evident the per-formaiK-e
was entirely new and unique'
to theni. There is a good deal of hu
man nature in hens. When they saw
this hen daucu aronipl nnd have all the
fun to itself, and heard it shout "lire,''
and couldn't see t he confiagra I ion them
selves, tiny filled up with wrath, and
of tine accord sprang upon it, and !
fore the Danbury man could interfere
the brindle hen with the long legs was'
among the things that were. He syjj'
the recipe is effectual. Danbury News.
roll on there has gut to l;v more
more yet of just suet; dint re?
Otiifsxoke, the beautiful s:ior. filling
her ehumVer from ccifiig to :!..'! Over
the r.ivulit, tinder tho sheet, f.om 1 er
dimpled thin t her pretty feet ! Now ris
ing aloft like a Lee in June, now sunk to
the wail of a ciackcd bassoon ! Now flute
like subsiding, then raising again, is the
beautiful iijf of Ehzubcih Jauc.
She AcceptlI'. The C-n-rier-Jour-"
mil asks: Ca b '-e tftat one of the
fair !eMesttf p.-!mon has been trying
to come up e dh tho learned Dr. .White
of tin- Herald? "will iiih picasurw.
jilt C you the exquisite lieatitude of
conducting my corporeal system over
the space of ground intervening Ih.
trean my pr.tey;,al domicile and tht
edifice devote ! to divine t; uhip, it hen1
the diurnal luminary shall havesoughc
his iio'ctiU'Uil resting pLici l-chlnd the
occidental horn?, n'."
.What is that jhieh.th'o iich maw1
icant s, the poor man has, the m.sci;
spends, and the sp: i.dthrift sirvi s
NtLiiig.