V "AZ ' --- r - "3?iSr- -
V
o
I ,, piKr, Editor and Publisher;
PLUME 4.
Cambria Freeman
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. 7i)B I'Rl STING.
liire Slide arransremetits bv which
a Jo or have dime all kinds of plain
icy i)oo sTintinp, sucn as uooks,
?' Tilioir 'CzfrJ). Bill and Lettei
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RE! FIRE!! FIRE!!
YOU HEAR THAT) FIREMEN ?
AND ATE TO PREPARED TO
EY THE SUMMONS !
Us are not. unless jou Lave been to
lff's Clothing Store,
'-l luve bought one of those superb
R E 51 A , j s f ! t) a T1 s
jou warm and ilrv. XV r, i,
! from $l to SO, and any other cat-
-u .uu can uave maue to orUer at
F'O-ce.
0 FIT, iVO CHARGE!
fOLFF has just returned from the East,
mums KtAUy MADE
(ITlHYfl nrni nmifuvm
tamubeUest asrortmnt, the most
,ssorlm't. wd altopether the most
P'wwtS assortment of
MEE GARMENTS
:SUEDIjfALTooNA-
-wT ,i TS from the lowest-pi iced
: to the finest Beaver all riui.
Si S' Mf L'ithin!I at from 9 10 30
$1.50tof9. Vests from 75 cents
4lso, a genial variety of
m k Furnishing GOODS,
ats, Caps, Hoots, Slices,
t "ciiO.lttUxB, SC.
!atA.DI.ES' EfARTMENT will
- Bcn oi r URS, from the low
fn'J1,6 f'nest Mik Sable.
rr ,0 the Poa OBlce. Altoona. Ta.
D03IAS
CARL AND,
WLE8aM DEALER I
f wiu i yUEENSWARE-
v.'ni ...
m .
pvu AND WILLOW WARE,
AND NOTIONS,
AND PROVISIONS,
13J5 Eleventh Avenue,
13th and UthSts., Altoona.
K?5i SpJ.ce9' Bruses. Wood
11 told f0 B,ackilg nd SUtton
and msnufacture',8 Ptinted
lpkia n ... other Jodi in Bit line at
rotDnr Cciatl and Pitts
Kwuw Toeale 1 presehttbe
I. i ' IhPT a , . . "
.... ...Mii uiciu &11 1 rM "UL
irum tW.: . c. "l rpqmrea w pay
LU modPrt- .l ne best quality and
& aa city rat8- By doing
a11. ordersrrhoTeTo VerU
en?.:r1 rei:iu dea era ;
olicifedaf,e,8.e.were. Orders re
ea and satisfaction miMnti
CARLAND.
t Gay pfcnter.
.r,1.?"" Merchants
U ENoILSFiSH-,SALT' CAR
SUT' riTTSBDRQH.
The Kidneya are two in number, situated at
the upper part of the loin, surrounded by fat,
und consisting of three parts, Viz : the Anterior,
the Interior, and the Exterior.
The anterior absorbs. Interior Consists of tis
sues, or veins, which serve as a deposit for the
urine ami convey it to the exterior. The exte
rior 1h a conductor also, terminating in a single
tube, und called a Ureter. The ureters are con
nected with the bladder.
The bladder is composed of various coverings
or tissues, divided into parts, viz. : the Upper,
the Lower, the Nervous, and the Mucous. TU
Uper expels, tho lower retains. Many have a
desire to urinate without tho ability; others
urinate without tho ability to retalu. This fre
quently occurs in children.
To cure these njections, We must brlns Into
action the muscles, which arv ciiKuged in their
various functions. If t hey are neglected, U ravel
and Dropsy may ensue.
Tho reader must also be made aware, that
however slight may be the attack. It is sure to
affect the bodily health and mental powei-s, n8
our flesh and blood are supported from these
sources.
Gorr, or RpETTMATisM Pain occuring in the
loins is indicative of the above diseases. They
occur in persons disposed to acid stomach and
cuaiKy secretions.
The Gravel. Tho travel encuM frr.m m.
glect or Improper treatment of the kidneys.
Those orgaus being weak, the water is not ex
pelled from the bladder, but allowed to remain;
it becomes feverish, and sediment forms. It is
from this deposit that tho stone is formed, and
gravel ensues.
DrtopSY Is a collection of water in some parts
of the body, and bears different names, accord
ing to the parts affected, viz: when generally
diffused over the body, it Is called Anasarca ;
when of the abdomen, Ascites; when of the
chest, Ilydrothorax.
Treatment. Helmbold's highly concentra
ted compound Extract fiuchu is decidedly one
of tho best remedies for diseases of the bladder,
kidneys, gravel, dropsical swellings, rheuma
tism, and gouty affections. Fnder this head we
have arranged Dysuria, or difliculty and pain in
Iasing water. Scanty Secretion, or small and
frequent discharges of water; Strangury, or
Stopping of water: Hi'miitm-ln. rw 1,1 irl r ii l iw.t
HJout and Rheumatism of the kid rial's. wit)mrt
any change in quantity, but Increase in color,
'or dark water. It was always highly recom-
m..r. ica. iy uie late Dr. l'hysick, in these affec
tion?. This medicine increaFcs the power of diges
tion and excites the at.sortentu into healthy ac
tion by which the -watery or calcerous deposi
tions, and all unnatural enlargements, as well
ns piiln and Inflammation, arv reduced, and it is
taken by men, Women, and children. Direc
tions for use and diet accompany.
Philadelphia,' Pa., Feb. 25, 18C7.
II. T. ITelmbold, Druggist :
Deah Sir I have been asufferer, for upward
x,f twenty years, with gravel, bladder, and kid
ney affections, during which time I have used
various medicinal preparations, and been under
the treatment of the most eminent Physicians,
experiencing butflittle relief.
Having 6oen your preparations extensively
advertised, I consulted with my family physi
cian in regard to uuing your Extract Uuchu.
I did this because I had Used all kind of adver
tised remedies, and had found them worthless.
and some quite injurious) in fact, I despaired
of ever getting well, and determined to use no
remedies thereafter unless I knew of tho Ingre
dients. It was this that prompted mo to use
your remedy. As you advertised that it was
composed of buehu, cnbebs and juniper berries,
it occurred to me and my'physician as an excel
lent combination, and, with his advice, after an
examination of the article, and consulting again
with the druggist, concluded to try it. I com
menced Its use about eight months ago, at which
time I was connned to ttly room. From the first
bottle I was astonished and gratified at the ben
eficial effect, and after using it three weeks, was
able to walk out. I felt much like writing you
a statement of my case at that time, but thought
Wy improvement might only be temporary, and
therefore concluded to defer and see if it would
effect a perfect cure, knowing then it would bo
of greater Value to you and more satisfactory
to me.
I am now able to report that a cure is effected
after using the remedy for five months.
I have not used any now for three months,
and feel as well in all respects as I ever did.
Your Huchu being devoid of any unpleasant
taste and odor, a nice tonic and invigorator of
the system, I do not mean to be without it when
ever occasion may require Its use in such affec
tions, m. Mccormick.
Should any doubt MiIcCormicks statement
he refers to tho following gentlemen :
ITori. William Bigler, ex-Governor, Pcnn
fylvania. Hon. Thob. Florence, Philadelphia
Hon. J. C. Knox, Judge, Philadelphia.
lion. J. S. Black, Judge, Philadelphia.
non. D. R. Porter, exGovernor, Pennsylva
bta.
Hon. Ellis Lewis, Judge, Philadelphia.
Hon. W. A. Porter, City Solicitor, Philadel
phia. non. Johi Bigler, ex-Oovernor, California,
lion. E. Banks, Auditor General, Washing
ton, D. C.
And many others, if necessary.
t3ry Sold by Druggists and Dealers every
where. Beware of counterfeits. AskforHelm
bold's. Take no other. Price 1J25 per bottle,
or six bottles for 16.50. Delivered to any ad
dress. Describe symptoms in all communica
tions. ADDRESS,
H. T. HELMBOLD,
IE AND CHEMICAL 1M1E!
S91 Broadway, New York.
NONE ARE GENUINE UNLESS DONE UP
IN A STEEL-ENGRAVED WRAPPER?
with fac-simile of my Chemical Warehouse,
and signed H. T. HEMLOCK.
nE IS A FREEMAN WHOM
EBENSBURG,
Love ui a tuck.
There was a seat in the apple tree,
A most delightful and cosy nook;
Ahd one afternoon about half-past thrett, .
Kitty sat there reading a .book.
Her fair head bare, with no hat to mar,
And her dres. just showed oiie dainty boot;
And he saw her as he smoked his cigar.
And he came and stood at the ladder's foot.
Kitty half blushed, then smiled and said, :
"Won't you come up and sit here now?"
And Kittys brother, a boy to dread,
Saw and detei mined to raise a row
So he crept softly under the tree,
Listening to all they had to say.
Did the impish brother and sly as could be,
Seiied the Udder and bore it away.
Then they saw him; and she. with a frown,
Said, "What will that awful boy do next?"
And she called him the greatest scamp in town,
x et I don't believe she was very much vexed.
let her Hps half smiled, though her eyes half
cried,
As she saw the position of matters nov,
And he came over and sat by her side,
Leaving his place on the opposite bough.
What could they do? They werecaptives there,
Held as if by an iron band; '
Kittv tossed back her golden hair.
And redectingl j leaued her chin on her hand;
"If, said she, "we for help should call,
Thfey'd laugh to see us in such a plight;
So we'd best stay here till the shadows fall.
. Or till some ne or other comes fu sight.'
Ami some one did come. It was Kittv's papa,
Who past the tree his footsteps traced,
And saw through the leaves a lighted cigar.
And a masculine aim around a feminine
waist.
Kitty looked down and blushed at one,
And then looked up and blushed at the other;
Said her lather, "These are pretty goings on!"
Suid she, "It was all the lault of" mj brother. "
What was the end? I'll tell vou what:
Some months after, 'mid silks and lace.
And ribbons and ruches, some ladies sat,
Who were discussing the time and place
As to when so ran their debate-
And where a certain weddiDg should be;
And that impish brother was heard to slate,
"It had better coaie off in the apple treel"
THE MAG MIRROR.
BY JOHN THOMAS.
Alt Hassan was a gay young Persian
of twenty-one. Life was uli before him,
except the twenty-one years he had skip
ped light-footed over (which were neces
earily behind him), and matters and things
had, in his eyes, a roseate hue. Just of
age,he had cast his first vote for President,
and had consequently an idea that the
fate of the Kepublic rested on his shoul
ders ; handsome, he faucied all the blooms
ing maidens of the township in which he
lived, and the country adjacent, were in
love with Lim. He was in the hair oil
period of existence ; at that precise age
when youDg men pay particular attention
to tooth brushes, not on account of cleanli
ness (which is truly next door neighbor to
godliness and on the same side of the
street) but for the looks of the thing, at
the precise age when they part their hair
behind and wear number seven boots,
when number tens would be more comfortable-.
Ali Hassan was of course in love
who ever saw a young man of twenty
one who wasn't ? No one, tho author
hereof ventures to assert. He loved
wildly and incomprehensibly-with a loVe
that passed all understanding particular
ly of her father, who opposed the match.
Zobeide, the young damsel of whom
Ali Hassan was enamored, was generally
believed to be the most beautiful female
in Persia, which was saying a great deal
for her. Her eyes were like a stag's, her
hair was masses of wavy curia, which,
had she lived in this day of false hair,
would have brought a handsome price in
any market, and but why go into par
ticulars ? Suffice it to say she was a well
proportioned girl, and her father had a
farm of 160 acres, half under improve
inent and the other half well timbered.
Ali and Zobeide were engaged. He
had beaued her to evening meetings and
lectures, he had taken her sleigh riding two
waiters, and finally, after a vigorous siege,
she had capitulated. The old man's con
sent was reluctantly gained, and the hap
py day which was to unite thern into one
twain, was fixed.
AH Hassan' was a happy, youth. He
reveled in dreams of bliss continually.
When be retired at night his last thought
was of Zobeide in the still watches of
the night bis younger brother, Eban Has
san, who shared his couch, was frequent
ly obliged to "hist him out," as he ex
pressed it, because he broke him of his
slumbers by calling out. in his sleep the
name of , 'Zobeide I" (Eben offering in
justification, that because be was shortly
to be married he had no call to make a
cussed fool of himself) and his first thought
as he pulled on his pants in the morning
was of Zobeide.
While reveling in this dream of bliss,
he was somewhat astonished, being but
twentyone, and not knowing much about
female human nature, at receiving a note
through the postoffice from her. He
looked upon the missive with strange
foreboding. Why should she use up
paper and envelopes and squander postage
stamps, when she could see him person
ally at any time 1 His worst anticipations
were realized I He read it, and with a
heart-rending shriek he fell fainting to the
floor. The perfidous woman stated there
in that her feelings had undergone a
change that while she should always
respect him ns a friend and brother (two
characters young men of twenty-one are
never partial to filling) he could never be
nothing else or more to her no bow, all of
which wa3 signed "Zoboide." And, as
to finish him, that afternoon he received
an invitation to her wedding, which was
to take place the next night, tho happy
THE TRUTH MAKES FREE, AND ALL
PA., THURSDAY
man being a new storekeeper who had
jnst commenced business in the next village-
, .
Of course life ceened to Ali Iias3an a
hollow mockery. The sun was obscured
to him with a sort of haze, and for the
first time in his life fie neglected his back
hair and teeth. After he passed a sleep
less night, he hied himself to the moun
tains, debating on the way, which was
the most pleasant method of terminating
nn existence which was hateful to him,
and at the same time covered the faithless
fair one with the remorse of the most ter
rible character. " Three methods suggest
ed themselves, to wit: jumping ofF a
precipice, lying down on a railroad track,
or drinking a pint of Cincinnati whisky.
Rejecting the latter as a death too linger
ing and horrible, the second as one which
would not effect his purpose, as the papers
would, ten to one, call it an accident, and
as such it wouldn't wring Zobeide's bosom
very much that being what he was deter
mined to do in one way or another, he
decided on the former. Accordingly he
sought a precipice, and getting upon the
brink thereof, he set himself down, com--posing
a soul-harrowing note to her, which
he proposed to put in his breeches pocket,
where it would be found, it being the cus
tom of people finding dead bodies to al
ways examine the pockets, and the letters
which are found always made public
While composing this note, and debating
in his mind whether "cruel" Ehould be
spelled with okre or two 1, a venerable
old man with a white beard, such as are
seen, in family Bibles which are sold only
by subscription, stood before him. Start
ing up, Ali Hassan exclaimed i
"Who art thou !" . .
"Thy good genius," said the presence.
"My genius. Ha I ha. Lend me half
a dollar," said Ali, becoming normal in
an instant.
"My son, good geniuses never lend half
dollars. That isn't their mission it isn't,
if I may use the expression, their best holt i
They give freely, however, what is more
plenty than half dollars advice."
"What wantest thou V said Ali.
"To save you from making an ass of
yourself," said the presence.
"Are you in that business extensively?"
said Ali bitterly. -Oh venerable man,
if the profession pays take me in partner
ship. You'll never run out of opportuni
ties to thow your skill 13ut proceed
go on with your show."
"I see a mist," 6aid Ali.
"Look again," said the genius.
'The mist clears away. I see a gay
and festive scene. There is light and
music, and fair women and brave men,
and all goes merry as a marriage bell.
There is a preacher I know him by his
black clothes and white neckerchief and
the hungry look he ever and anon slings
through the door which opens in the dining
room where the refreshments are.
"A pair enter it is it is take it
away. It sears my eyeballs and freezes
my young blood," and uttering a Fenian
war cry the unfortunate youth sank to the
earth in spasms.
"It's terrible medicine," muttered the
good genius to himself, "but he must take
it. Quinine is bitter calomel isn't as
pleasant to the taste as the peaches of
Jersey, but whon a child in Indiana has
the ague they force it down him or her as
the case may be. Arise, Ali Hassan,"
said he, raising him up tenderly by the
hair, '"arise and continue your investiga
tions." With a shudder Ali opened his optics,
"A pair enter. Zobeide and -the
storekeeper. The preacher steps up he
repeats the ceremony Allah il Allah,
Abonkir ben Hamet it's over,' and the
young man, overcome with emotion,
swooned again.
The venerable genius applied a pint
bottle to his lips, at which the youth re
vived. Turning over upon his back and
pointing wistfully at the bottle he gasped
"One more draught only one."
"Nary," said the good genius holding
it up to the light. "There's but little left,
and it is four miles to the nearest grocery.
But look some more."
"I see a house in town. It's furnished
gorgeous and regardless of expense. The
carpet is tapestry, the sofa cost no less
than 100 and there too is a Chickerlng
piano. Around it is a garden, in which
the orange tree and the pine mingle their
aromatic boughs, and the bulbul answers
the nightingale's song of love. An an
tique fountain nquirts Cologne continually,
diffusing a delicious fragrance through the
atmosphere." It's gorgeous. I see into
ihe bay window. Zobeide is sitting at
the piano, shouting the "Battle Cry of
Freedom' accompanying herself on the
instrument ; a deformed dwarf of great
price is hovering around her, fanning her
with one band and turning over the music
with the other, and it keeps him mighty
busy. Her husband eaters, but heavens
what a change. He don't hold bis head
up. Company enters- she smiles on him.
They depart she frowns. They inter
change a few unpleasant paragraphs she
flies at him she seizes him by the nap of
the neck and the slack of the breeches and
pitches him down stairs. Allah il Allah,
what a muscular female."
"Look again."
"I see a picture. A man is endeavor
ing to fill a barrel with a teaspoon which
a woman is emptying with a bucket.
What does it signify V
"It's an allegory, my sod. Look again
and soe the solution."
ARE SLAVES BESIDE.
JULY 21, 1870.
"I see and comprehend. The store
keeper's trade is light and his profitssmall;
lie is working hard in his store, while
Zobeide is leaving the house, clad in pur
ple and fine linen. I see the point of tke
allegory."
"Look again-.'
"I see a cabin in tho suburbs, with a
slatternly woman banging her children
about like old boots. Outside, lying in
the sun, and overcome with the strong
waters of th&GlaiOur, I see a man, and
"Enough,
said the genius, "I have
Biiown you
a yard or two of fuiuritv.
Wilt thou cast thyself from the prccinicc
for Zobeide now t"
"Respected sir," said All Hassan
'whoever you are, tell mc, oh tell me, is
this which I have gazed ca chapters in
the biography of Zobeide ?"
"My ,son it is. She whom you call
Zobeide has a head on her shoulders, and
a will of her own and money. He who
can manage her can take a city or rule
wti empire. She was in earnest in her
intention to marry you because (pardon
me if I flatter you) you are a fool. She
knew fhe would be able to boss you with
less wear and tear of temper than a man
less a fool. Followinz that strateav. she
determined, to use the words of another,
to fight it out on that line she discarded
you and took up with a new storekeeper,
because she deemed him more of a fool
than you. I think she was mistaken, but
let that pass. We will not here argue
that point either would have done. She
furnishes the capital and she will control
it, and whenever such a woman under
takes to manage the money which she
brings into a firm, she is, my son, very
npt to go on reducing it to the very end
of the chapter. This will happen with
the storekeeper had you married her,
it would have happened with you.
"There must be, my son, in all matters
matrimonial, something like equality if
there is any difference between the parties
it should be in favor of the male, lor tire
reason that having the credit of being the
stronger vessel, it hurts his feelings more
to go to tho wall. Had you married this
high-tempered female, possessed of money,
the advantages would have been hers.
She has intellect, which you have not
she has money, which you lack. You
both have beauty that is only valuable to
her.- The men run after a handsome
woman, but women despise a pretty man,
because he is apt to be as near like them
selves as it is possible for two beings got
ten up on diffrent models to be; and every
well regulated female desires an opposite.
I do not disapprove of your marrying fyr
money the good of tho tax-payers of
your township demands it ; but see to it
that phe has no intellect, that in that par
ticular at least you may be on an equality
with her ; and also to the end of her not
having force enough to make a reputation
on account of her money. Such mar
riages are proper. It is bad for the next
generation, but it is good for this, and this
is the generation for which we are more
immediately concerned. It is fair to pre
sume that the next will take care of itself
without any of our interference. Tho
young man who marries for money must
necessarily be an idiot or could make his
pile easier let the woman he marries bo
likewise, that too many families may not
be spoiled. She should also be homely
and old, as well as stupid, that while 6he
makes a sacrifice in marrying a penniless
man-, the penniless man also makes a sac
rifice in marrying such a bundle of hide
ousncss. Then you have a hook in tho
jaws of the leviathan. If she throws her
money in your facttj you retort with her
appearance, and that evens it up.
"Therefore, my son, go to her wedding
to-morrow. Hide your disappointment.
be the gayest of the gay, and the liveliest j
of the lively, r arewell. May the Allah
of imbeciles protect you."
And enveloping himself in a mist he
disappeared as quickly as he came.
Ali Hassan pondered. He changed
his mind. He neglected to suicide. He
went home, he parted bis hair behind, ho
brushed his teeth, blacked his boots and
arraying himself in his most stunning pair
of pants, bis most gorgeous vest, and the
most crushing necktie, he went to the wed
ding and danced an Irish jig with tho
bride. He was to gay, so jolly, and
wasn't palo and wan, that tho bride nearly
choked with vexation. His manliness
was rewarded. That night he was Intro
dueled to a widow with no children, only
fourteen years his senior; 6he hadn't any
will at all, but whose husband had been
kind enough to accumulate a pile of spel
ter before departing this life. Her he
married, and for many years lived in the
full enjoyment of everything he was capa
ble of enjoying.
toe esd of the tAiuj
PRACTICAL OBSERVATIONS.
1. lie who marries in haste rcpeuta at
leisure, so sometimes docs he who isn t in so
much of a hurry.
2. There's as good flsh in any river you
mention as was ever pulled out, and better
too.
3. He who misses a hawk may esteem
himself lucky if he knocks over a partridge.
These maxims are Persian, as any one can
see by the oriental cut of their respective
jibs. The author don't assert that they
have an y thing to do with the tale, but as
maxims, standing on their respective mer
its as such, he submits them to a ctiscrimi
Dating public.
Good name for an auctioneer's wife- Biddy
Mark Twain on Poultry Raising.
I haVe received the following notice :
'The WirtTKRN N.w Yohk PotLtEY Socie
tr. Buffalo, Juno I, 1870. Mark TWai.,
Esu. Sir: At a recent meeting of the Exccu--live
Committee of the Western New York
Poultry Society, you were elected an honorary
member of the Society.
"E C. DeA.
"Recording Secretary."
"It never rains but pours." Neither
do distinctions begin to fall upon a man
in a sprinkle, but very shortly they In
crease to a Hood. Within the space of
one short month, I have been raised to
the dignity of honorary membership in
agricultural, horticultural, and vinicultu
ral societies in the States of Iowa, Indi
ana, California, Massachusetts, Maryland
and Pennsylvania, and now, honorary
member of the Western New York Poul
try Society, and my ravenish ambitiou is
satisfied.
Seriously, from early youth, 1 haVe
taken an especial interest in the subject
of poultry-raising, and so this member
ship touches a ready sympathy in my
breast. Even S3 a schoolboy, poultry
raising was a study, with me, and I may
say, Without egotism, that as early as the
age of seventeen, I wa9 acquainted with
all the best and speediest methods of rais
ing chickens, from raising them off a
roost by burning lucifer matches under
their noses, down to lifting tbetn off a
fence on a frosty night by insinuating the
end of a warm board under their heels.
By the time I was twenty years old, I
really Bupposcd that I had raised more
poultry than any one individual in all the
section round about there. The Very
chickens came to know my talent by and
by. The youth of both sexes ceased to
paw the earth for worms, and old roosters
that came to crow "remained to pray,"
when I passed by.
I have had so much experience in the
raising of fowls that I cannot but thiuk
that a lew hints from me might be useful
to the society. The two methods I have
already touched upon are Very simple, and
are only used in the raising of the com
monest kind of fowls ; one is for summer,
the other for winter. In one case you
start out with a friend along about 11
o'clock on a summer's night (not later,
because in some States especially in Cal
ifornia and Oregon chickens always
rouse up just at midnight and crow from
10 to 30 minute?, according to the case
ot difficulty they experience in getting the
public waked up), and your friend carries
with him a sack. Arrived at the hen
roost (your neighbor's, not your own), you
light a match and hold It under the first
one and then another pallet's nose, until
they are willing to go into that bag tvith
out making any trouble about it. You
then return home cither taking the bag
with you or leave it behind, according as
circumstances shall dictate. N. B. I
have seen the time when it was eligible
and appropriate to leave the sack behind,
and walk off with considerable velocity
without ever leaving any word where to
send it.
In tho case of the other rncthed men
tioned for raising poultry, your friend
takes along a covered vessel with a char
coal fire in it, and you carry a long, slens
der plank. This is a frosty night, under
stand. Arrived at tho tree, or fence, or
other hen roost (your own if you are an
idiot ), yoil Warm the end of your plank
in your friend's fire-vessel) and then raise
it aloft and ease it up gently against a
slumbering chicken's foot. If the subject
of your attentions is a truo bird, he will
infallibly return thanks wilh a sleepy
cluck or two, and step out and take up
quarters on the plank, thus becoming so
conspicuously accessory before the fact to
his own murder, as to make it a grave
question in our minds, as it otice was in
the mind of Blackstonc, whether he is not
really and deliberately committing suicide
in the second degree. (But you enter in
to a contemplation of these legal refine
ments Subsequently not then.)
When you wish to raise a finev large,
donkey voiced Shanghai rooster, you do
it with a lasso, just as you Would a bull.
It is bccau3e he must be choked, Choked
effectually, too. It is the only gooi, cer
tain way, fur Whenever he mentions a
matter which he is cordially interested in,
the chances are ninety-nine in a hundred
that he secures somebody else's Immediate
attention to it, too, whether It be day or
night.
The black Hpanish is ati exceedingly
fine bird, and a costly one. Thirty-five
dollars is the usual figure, and fifty a not
uncommon price for a specimen. Even
its eggs are worth from a dollar to a dol
lar and a half a piece, yet are co unwhole
some that the city physician seldom or
never orders them for the workhouse.
Still I have once or twice procured as higli
as a dosen at a time for nothing, in the
dark of the moon. The best w-ay to raise
tho black Spanish fowl, is to go late in
the evening, and raise coop and all. ' The
reason I recommend this mothod is that
the birds being so absurdly valuable, the
owners do not permit them to roost around
promiscuously, but put them in a coop,
as strong as a tire-proof safe, and keep
it in the kitchen at night. The method
I speak of is not always a bright and
satisfying success, and yet there nro so
many little articles of wlu about a kitch
en, that if you fail on the coop you can
generally bring away something else. I
brought away a nice 6teel trap one night,
worth 90 cents.
Terms, $2 per year In advance.
NUMBER 25.
But what is the Use in my pouting out
my whole intellect on this subject? I
have shown the Western New York So
ciety that they have taken to their bosoms
a party who is not a spring chicken by
any means, but n man who knows nil
about poultry, and is juM ns high up in.
the most efficient methods of raising it ns
the President of the institution himself.
I thank the gentleman right pleasantly
and heartily for the honorary membership
they have conferred upon me, and shall
stand at all times ready and willing to
testify my good feeling and my official
zeal by deed as well as by this hastily
penned advice ahd informal ion. When
evtr they arc ready to go to raising poul
try, let tlvetn call for me just any evening
after 1 1 o'clock, and I shall be on hand
promptly. Mark TwAix.
P. S. To the Recording Secretary ;
I know two cr three good placcs.Z'iy
f'uh Krpress.
A Secluded SoNUbTitts The Quels
of Sonc. in a Convent. Some years ago
a beautiful girl named Miss GubU rre, the
daughter of a foreign gentleman, conceived
the idea of entering a cunvenf, and upon
the death of her father made application
and was admitted into the Mount de Ohau
tal Convent, near Wheeling, Virginia.
Miss Gubberre is said to be possessed
of ono of the sweetest and most poweful
voicesj and to have a musical education
in every particular. During the days in
which her father enjoyed health he was
untiring and earnest in his efforts to pro
mote the education of his daughter in tho
art of music, and the wonderful progress
she made caused him to hope for a bright
future.
But with his death the young lady's
ambition failed away ; and being natural
ly of a religious turn of mind, she mado
a resolve to renounce the world, ahd so
liciting admission to tho convent before
mentioned, was received. In that insti
tution the is to this day, and with time
becomes more ardently attached to the
secluded life of a nun. The capabilities
of her voice are known to all the profes
sional opera singerr-, and time and again
has Gran, the operatic manager, visited
her iu hopes of inducing her to abandon
the profession she has choseu 5 to warble
her sweet notes in public ; but his errand
has ever proved futile.
When the Parepa English opera frohpo
was organized, Mr. C. D. Hess also vis
ited her with a like object in view, but
met with no better success than did her?
manager before named. The young lady
fills With sublime music the chapel of
Mount do Chautal ; but it is not likely
that her voice will ever be heard outside
of its little choir.
A Cmi.D Heroine. On last Thursday
evening, says a Dakota paper, a man,
whose namo we did not learn, and two
sons of Mr. Fargo, who resides at the
Lake?j in Clay county went out on the
lake in a canoe, to have a swim by tho
aid of the boat. The man could not
swim, nor could, the youngest Fargo boy,
about nine years old ; the oldest boy,
about thirteen years old, Could. Thus
the three proceeded to put their swimming .
ideas into execution. Things went oil'
smoothly until, through a little excitement
the small boat Was overturned. ThL)
cVent occasioned a cry for help. Thcro
was lio one around the house, or near,
only Mrs; Fargu and her little daughter,
about eleven years old. This little girl.
With a spirit of here ism equal to Ida Lew
is, rushed to the bunk of tho lake and
jumped into another .ciuioe and paddled
out to where the three persons were Strug
gling in the water. She would have
brought all three safe to shore had they
remained cool, but in their anxiety tu
grasp something with motive power 011
board, they capsized hor little craft and
thrcW her into the water. Luckily for
the little heroine that she could swim.
At this stage of the game she, with cool-
ticss ahd courage seldom equalled or sur
passed by men, called out to her little
brother to hold nn to her, and for the
other two to hold on to their boat. She
thus secured her little brother and swam
ashore with him, holding on to her boat.
Her oldest brother saved the man in tho
same way. Thus the entire party weru
saved through the coolness arid courage of
a little girl only eleven years old. .
Self-Made Men. Mr. Muddella, mem
ber of Parliament for Sheffield, is said
to have first entered that town as nn Ital
ian image boy. Some kind-hearted citi
sen became interested in him and sent
him to school. The rest he did for him
self. A parallel instance of the succes of
a self-made man is that of Biancont, the
great car proprietor in lrrlalid. He came
to that country aa an itinerant picture
frame mender. Seeing that tho means ot
communication Were scanty and dear, lie
conceived the Idea of starting a cheap cut
between Clonmel and Thurles, and con
tinued his plans until he had an establish
ment working eight hundred" horses, and
carrying the mails throughout the com -try.
He made a large fortune, and is
now an extensive landed proprietor, with
a fine scat in Tipperary, of which couuiy
he is a deputy lieutenant. His orgsnLsj
tion powerB are marvelous.
Wht can't the cook eat her apron ? Be
Cause, it goes ag&inbt her btopjag.