1
I j ( 0 -
II. A. MTIKE, Editor and Publisher.
UK IS A FRKBUiS WIIOU THE TROTH MAKES PRICE, AMD ALL ARC SLAVES BKilDK.
Tunas, $a per year la advance.
VOLUME 3.
!8C9. SF1IS6 nilL 1869.
I ar& now prepared to offer
SUPERIOR INDUCEMENTS
to cash roBCBiini or
TDi. SIEIT-IROI & COFPER WAEI.
EITHM AT
WHOLESALE OK RETAIL,
Sf stock consists ia part of avery variety of
Tin, Sbeel-Iron.
COPPER AND BRASS WARES,
BNAMFI.l-KD AND PI.AIM
SAUCE-PAWS, BOILEBS. &f,
COAL SHOVELS. WINE LAMPS, OIL
CANS. II0USEFCRN1SHING HAIiD
WAPJi OF EVERY KIND.
Spear.' Attti-Duat
HEATING and COOKING STOVES,
EXCELSIOR COOKISG S1WES,
"N'OCLE, TKI UMPII and PARLOR COOK
ING STOVES,
AuJ any Conking Stove desired I will gat
when orderd at manufacturer' prices.
Old Stove Plates and Grates. &c, for re
pairs, on hand for the Stoves I sell ; others
will be ordarsd when wanted. Particular
atteutiou given to
Spouting, Valleys and Conductors,
11 of whicuwill ba made out of best mate
rials and put up by competent workmen.
Lamp Burners, Wick and Chimneys
WHOLESALE OK EKTAII-
I would call particular atteution to the Light
I louse Burner, with Glass Coua, for giving
inuie lislit than any otbar in use. Also, the
Paragon Burner, for Crude OiL
SrE:XCEIt3 SIFTER I
It recciamenda itself.
SUGAR KETTLES AND CAULDRONS
of all sizes constantly on baud.
Special attention given to
Jobbing in Tin, Copper and Sheet-Iron.
at lowest ptible rate.
Wholesale Merchants' Lists
now ready, and will be sent on application
by mail or in person.
Hoping to see all my old customers and
nuuy new ones this Spiing, I return my
uiotst binoere tl auks frr t!ie very libera pa
troLa-e I hare already received, sud will
eudeavor to please ail who may call, wheth
er they huy or not
FRANCIS W. HAY.
Johnstown. March 7, 18C7.
! -
t CIS & li E U T II ,
V Johnitonii, Pa .
BOOKSELLERS, STATIONERS
a EsuciEi iji.ydlibss
V. A X V F A CT r R 1 2 liS O h 15 1. A N K BOO K S ,
P0UTK-MONA1S. PAPER BOXES
AND LOOKING GLASSES,
looking (31a!a and I'icture Frarscs always
on hand, and made to order. A large and
v t complete assortment of Diawing Room
Mini Minieilanecus Pictures, consisting of
Cnromos, Painting in Oil, Steel Plate En
gravings, Plsin and Colored Lithographs,
Oil Prints, 1'hotograpbs ar.d Wood Cuts.
This collection embraces a selection of large
t-ized match pictures of Landscape and Do
mestic Scenes and Portraits, and 6,000 dif
ferent varieties of Card Photographs of prom
inent men, comic and sentimental scenes and
copies of subjects by celebrated artists. We
have also a varietl a.-sortment of UII5Llv,
PRAYER. HYxMN and SCHOOL BOOKS.
HISTORIES, BIOGRAPHIES, NOVELS,
&c. Religious PrintB aud Emblems in great
variety, and the largest aud most complete
block of S l'ATIONERV ever brought to this
county. 600 new and beautiful styles of
WALL PAPER, including an assortment of
Potter's celebrated Englh-h make, for which
we are sole agents in this locality. These
Wall Papers are handsomer in design, supe
rior in finish, and 2 inches wider than any
tthrr make.
The citizens of Ebensburg and vicinity are
x-speet fully notified that we make BOOK
RINDING and the manufacture of BLANK
BOOKS a speciality. All work promptly
executed at moderate rates.
fjrj-Store on corner of Clinton and Locust
streets, immediately opposite Foster House.
Johnstown. Oct. 24. 18C7.-tf.
CHAIR MANUFACTORY.
FI.P.PATTOI.
JOHXSTttWiV, PA.
ALL KINDS OF CHAIRS,
such as common Windsor Chairs, Fret Back
Chairs, Vienna Chairs, Bustle Chairs, Rim
Backed Chairs, Sociable Chairs,
Cane Stat Sair3,
ROCKING CHAIRS, OF EVERY SIZE
SPRING SEIT CHAIRS
Settees, Lounges, Uc, &c.
CABINET FURNITURE
of every description and of latest
T1'LS, WITH PRICES TO SUIT THE
. Tastes of all.
Thankful for past favors, he reanect-
ully tolicit3 a liberal share of public patron-
unnton btreet, Johnstown Cambria
vxj. ra.
Jan. 81.1867.
"WORD from JOILNSTOWNI
JOI1X j. MI BPUT & CO.,
Have constantly on hand a Urge and well
selected stock of seasonable
Dry Goods, Boots, Shoes, Groceries.
and a general variety of NOTIONS, Ac
i lf,itck consists of almost every article
usually kept in a retail store, all & widen
have been selected with care aud are offered
at prices which cannot fail to prove sathifae-
l V aild eiilwae for yourselves.
Feb. 8, m7.-tf, 8
(O iiEAT Reduction ix Piuces I
TO CASH B tYEES !
AT Till? EDEHSBUR6
flOUSE-FURMSlMG STORE.
The undersigned respectfully informs the
citizens of Ebensburg and the public gener
ally that he has made a great reduction in
prices to CASH BUYERS. My stock will
consist, in part, of Cooking, Parlor and Heat-,
ing Stoves, of the most popular kinds j Tin
ware of every description, of my own man
ufacture ; Hardware of all kind, such as
Locks, Sciews, Butt Hinges, Table Hinges,
Shutter Hinges, Bolts, Iron and Nails, Win
dow Glass, Putty, Table Knives and Forks,
Carving Knives and Forks, Meat Cutters,
Apple Parers, Pen and Pocket Knives in
great variety, Scissors. Shears, Razors and
Strops. Axes, Hatchets, Hammers, Boring
Machines, Augers, Cbissels, Planes, Cbm-pa-sses,
Squares, Files, Rasps, Anvils, Vises,
Wrenches, Rip, Panel and Cross-Cut Saws,
Chains of all kinds. Shovels, Spades, Scythes
and Snaths, Rakes, Forks, Sleigh Bells,
Shoe Lasts, Pegs. Wax Bristles, Clothes
Wringers, Grind Stones, Patent Molasses
Gates and Measures, Lumber Sticks, Horse
Nails, Horse Shoes, Cast Steel, Rifles, Shot
Guns, Revolvers, Pistols, Cartridges, Pow
der, Caps. Lead, &c, Odd Stove Plates,
Grates and Fire Bricks, Well and Cistern
Pumps aud Tubing ; Harness and Saddlery
Ware of all kind ; Wooden and Willow Ware
in great variety ; Carbon Oil and Oil Lamp6,
Fish Oil, Lard Oil, Linseed Oil, Lubricating
Oil, Rosin, Tar, Glassware, Paints, Varnish
es, Turpeutiue, Alcohol. Arc.
FAMILY GROCERIES,
such as Tea, Coffee, Sugars, Molasses, Syr
ups, Spices, Dried Peaches. Dried Apples,
Fish, Hominy, Crackers, Rice and Pearl
Barley; Soaps, Candles; TOBACCO aad
CIGARS; Paint. Whitewash, Scrub, Horse,
Shoe, Dusting, Varnish, Stove. Clothes and
Tooth I'nihhes, all kinds and sizes; Bed
Cords and Manilla Ropes, and many other
articles at the lowest rates for CASH.
Qcf-House SX)uting made, painted aud put
up at low rates for cash. A liberal discount
made to country dealers buying Tinware
wholesale. GEO. HUNTLEY
Ebensburg, Ftb, 28. 18C7.-tf,
L. L, LANGSTROTH'S
PiTEIT MOVABLE COMB BSE HIVE i
PRONOUNCED THE BEST EVER YET
introduced in this Comity or State. Any
person buying a family riht can have their
Bees transferred from an old box to a new one.
In every instance in which this has been done
the result has been entirely satisfactory, and
the fir?t take of honey has invariably paid all
expenses, aud frequently exceeded tbem. Proof
of the superior merits of this invention will be
found in the testimony of every man who has
given it a trial, aud among the number are the
gentlemen named below, and their experience
should induce every one interested in Bees to
BUY A FAMILY RIGHT!
Henry C. Kirkpatrick, of Carroll township,
took 1V6 pounds of surplus honey from two
hives, which he sold at 35 cents per pound.
Adam Deitrich. of Carroll township, took
from two hives 100 pounds of surplus honey.
James Kirkpatrick, ot Cbest township, took
CO pounds of surplus honey from one hive.
Jacob Kirkpatrick, of Chest township, ob
tained 72 pounds of surplus honey from or e
hive, worth not less than $21, and the right
cost him only $5.
Peter Campbell from one hive obtained 36
pounds of surplus honey at one time.
IW Quite a number of similar statements,
authenticated by budi of the bent cititenB of
Cambria county, could be obtained in proof of
the superior merits of Langstrotb "s Patent Mo
vable Comb Bee Hire.
Persons wishing to purchase family rights
should call on or niMresB
PETER CAMPpJELL,
Nov. 5, lSSG.-tf. CarrolltJ-rn, Ta.
EBENSBURG FOUNDRY
AGAIX IV FILL LAST I
NEW FIRM, NEWBU1LDINGS, &c.
HAVING purchased the well known EB
ENSBURG FOl NDRY from Mr. Edw.
Glass, aud rebuilt and eulargel it almost en
tirely, besides refitting it with new machinery,
the subscribers a:e now prepared to furniRh
COOK, PARLOR S? HEATING S'W VES,
of the latest and most approved patterns
THRESHING MACHINES. MILL GEAR
ING, ROSE and WATER WHEELS of every
description, IRON FENCING, PLOUGHS
and PLOUGH CASTINGS, aud in fact all
manner of articles manufactured in a first class
Foundry. Job Work of all kind attended to
promptly and done cheaply.
The special atteution of Farmers is invited
to two newly patented PLOUGHS which we
possess the sole right to manufacture and sell
in this county, and which are admitted to be
the best ever introduced to the public.
Believing ourselves capable of performing
any work in our line in the most satisfactory
manner, and knowing that we can do work at
lower raiCKS than have been charged in this
community heretofore, we confidently hope that
we will be found worthy of liberal patronage.
Fair reductions made to wholesale dealers.
t2TTbe highest prices paid in caib for old
metal, or castings given in exchange.
Oca TEAMS All STAICTtT CASH OA COUWTBT
produce. CON VERY, VINROE & CO.
Ebensburg, Sept. 2, 1668.
New FirmNew Goods.
THE undersigned, having given his son,
J. E. Shields, an interest in his store,
the business will hereafter be conducted un
der the firm name of P. H. Shields & Co.,
and as we are determined to sell Goods cheap
for cash, or exchange for grain, lumber or
produce, we hope by strict attention to bus
iness to merit a liberal patronage from a
generous public.
Having determined to settle np my old
books of thirty years standing, I now ask
those indebted to me to come forward and
make settlement on or before the 1st day of
December, 1868. P. H. SHIELDS.
Loretto, Oct. 15, 1868,-tf.
F. ALTFATHEB,
.. MAKCFACTOBKB
And Wholesale and Retail Dealer in
HAVANA AND DOMESTIC CIGARS,
PLUG AHD WSK CUT
Cbetvln? and Smoking: Tobacco,
Snuff", Pipes, Snvff Boxes If Cigar Cases,
AT THE klO-t Of XAK IMDiAW,
MAIN STREET, - - - JOHN STOW?.
EBENSBURG, FA., THURSDAY, APRIL 22, 1869.
OUT IX THE COLD.
With blue, cold hands and etockingless feet,
Wandered a child in the cheerless street ;
Children were many, who, housed and fed.
Lovingly nestled, dreaming in bed
Caroled their joy in a land of bliss.
Without a thought or care of this,
They were warm in humanity's lold.
But this little child was out in the cold
Out in the cold.
Bleak blew the wind thro 'jthe cheerlesr etreet;
Dashing along the merciless street.
All fdrrid and shawled, man, woman, and
child
Hurried along, for the storm grew wild ;
They could not bear the icicle's blast.
Winter po rude on their pathway cast.
Alas ! none pitied no one ceusoled
The little wanderer oat in the cold-
Out in the cold.
She had no father, she had no mother.
Sisters none and never a brother ;
They had passed on to the star-worlds above-
She remained here with nothiag but I .re.
"Nothing to love" O 1 men did not know
wnat wealth or joy that child could bestow,
So they went by aud worshipped their gold.
Leaving the little one out in trie cold
Ontin the cold.
Wandered she on 'till the shades of night
Veiled hr shivering form from sight ;
Then, with cold hands over her breast.
She prayed to her Father in Haven for rest.
When hours had fled, 'neath the wwld'B dark
frown,
Hungered and chilled, she laid herself down ;
Lay down to rest, while the wealthy rolled
In carriages past her, out iu the cold
Out in the cold.
Out in the cold lo ! an angel form
Brought her white robes that were rich and
warm :
Out in the cold, on the sleeping child.
The sainted face of a mother smiled ;
A sister pressed on her brow a kiss-
Led her 'mid scenes of heavenly buss ;
And angels gathered into their fold,
That night the little one out of the cold
Out of the cold.
Sales, Shef cjjts, t ebofes, ifc.
IDA LEWIS.
THE GKACZ DARLING Or AMERICA.
Thirty years ago, just at the dawn of a
stormy September morning, Grace Dar
ling, the daughter of the Long tone lighthouse-keeper,
on the English coast,
launched a boat on the raging tide, and
rescued, with her reluctant father's aiJ,
and at the imminent peril of her life, nine
persons from the disastrous wreck of the
Forfarshire steamer. For this fearless
and noble act, done in her 23d year,
praises and rewards were heaped upon
her in unstinted measure, a fund of $3,
500 was subscribed for her benefit, the
remaining four years of her life were
crowned with every comfort, and her name
has passed into current usage as a ryno
nym for an unselfish and heroic woman.
Two weeks since, toward the close of a
6tormy March afternoon, Ida Lewi?, the
intrepid daughter of the Lime Rock light
keeper, in Newport (It. I ) harbor per
formed a deed that places ber tda by ide;
in point of self-sacrificing cournge, with
the Grace Darling of England, and
rounds a career of even a greater useful
ness in the saving of human life. The
rain fell that day in blinding towctits, and
the gale drove the waves across the har
bor with a fury that taxed the full strength
and skill of the most experienced boat
men. Iu the midst of this storm, a reck
less boy, scarely 14 years old, who had
somehow obtained possession of ono of
smallest and most unsafe sail-boats in the
harbor, (uince christened the "soldier
drowner,') succeeded in persuading two
soldiers, Sergt. James Adams and Pn
rate John McLaughlin, to let him carry
them acroFS from the city, whither they
had gone to make some purchases, to
lort Adams, where they were stationed.
Anxious to escape the dreary three mile
tramp by land, and believing the lad's
assertion that he could manage the boat
as well as any one, they trusted them
selves in it, and made half the trip in
safety, but about midway in the harbor
a sudden blast struck the sail, the start
led boy jammed the helm in the wrong
direction, the boat capsized in an instant,
and the waves rolled it .twice over, like the
veriest cockle shell. For a long half-hour
its luckless occupants clung to the keel,
and wrestled against the blinding rain
and the fierce salt wares with all the en
ergy of despair ; but finally the boy's
strength was exhausted, bis hold relaxed
one clutch at McLaughlin's shoulder,
and, with a frenzied laugh opon his lip,
he was gone ! nor has any trace of him
since been seen. Fast paralyzed with
cold and almost bereft of hope the two
soldiers saw no chance left but to clasp
each other in a last embrace, and sink to
a mutual grave when suddenly, out
from the Lame Kock, half a mile away,
shot a little boat, driven by rapid strokes
and sure, straight over the bounding waves
toward the drowning men. Hope kin
died in their breasts again, but faded
when they saw in the boat only a slender
youth, and a still slenderer woman plying
tbe oars. On it swiftly came, however,
and the boy was almost reaching over the
side to grasp the nearest soldier, when his
quick-witted sister, crying, "Stop, Hosey!
we shall be capsized that way 1" turned
tbe boat with a well-timed stroke, backed
it up, one man was drawn eafely in over
the stern, another backward pull, another
lift, and the uext moment the craft, with
its freight of rescued lives, was scudding
swiftly through the spray back to the
Kock again. The Sergeant was able to
stagger on shore, but private McLaughlin
had to be carried into the lighthouse,
where both of them received the utmost
care and kindness, and were safely con
veyed to Fort Adams the next day.
The heroine of this daring exploit was
born Feb. 25, 1812, and is thus in her
28th year ; but her first rescue of imper
illed life dates back to September, 1859,
when she was only 17. Four gay young
fellows, all about 18 or 20 years of ae7
and all eons of wealthy gentlemen, one
from Philadelphia and the rest from New
port, went out for an evening sail, and
one of them, more full of mischief than
the others, climbed the mast and upset the
boat half a mile from the nearest shore.
None of them could swim that distance,
night was rapidly coming on, the capsized
boat was too light to support more tban
two or three of them at once, and Ibey
were ruefully awaiting the bitter conse
quences of their mad frolic, when the
keeper's daughter, spying thein through
the dusk, hastened to their relief, and
rescued them all from their impending
fate, lhe one who climbed the mast en
listed at tbe opening of the war, and re
ceived a mortal wound at the disastrous
battle of Hull Hun, but the others are
still living, and doubtless cherish grateful
ly the memory of their youthful preserver.
During the intervening period of ten
yepi-s, this heroine of the harbor has sav
ed five other lives. One cold and wiodv
February day, three intoxicated soldiers
stole a skiff and set out for the fort. Hy
some drunken recklessness they soon stove
a bole in the bottom, and the boat rapid
ly filled. jL wo of the men succeeded in
swimming ashore again, and were so
alarmed at their adventure that they ran
away and never -came back ; but the
third clung to the submerged bkiff and
tried to paddle it with his feet across the
harbor. hen discoved and picked up,
with his hat in his teeth and a bottle of
whisky in each pocket, he was stifl with
cold, and barely escaped perishing in his
desperate- attempt. The next rescue was
in January, 1867. A valuable sheep es
caped from those who had it in charge,
dived off one of the wharves, and started
to swim around the harbor. Three men.
who went in pursuit along the fort road,
found a skiff and put out to rescue the
animal. Hut the fierce south-east "ale
was too much for them, tbe boat began to
swamp rapidly, they could not regain the
shore, aud wero staring death in the face
when the fearless Ida went to their relief,
carried them and the skiff to land, and
then went out aud saved the sheep ! In
the remaining instance, it seems that a
fine looking but reckless young fellow
stole a large sail boat from one of the
wharves one W inter evening and put to sea
with it, but the gale drove the craft opon
the "Little Lime Rack," about a mile
from the light, where it sunk, leaving the
thief clinging to the halyards from raid
night till dawn, when the heroine reached
and picked him up. "There he was,"
iwya Miss Lewis, ia relnting tbe incident,
ha..i lg, and God blessing me, and beg
ging to be set on shore, and the last I
saw of him bo was crawling up the wharf
on his hands and knees !"
The heroism of Grace Darling was the
result of a single noble impulse $ the bra
very of Ida Lewis is part of her daily
life. Sixteen years ago, the light on
Lime Rock was established, and llosca
Lewi3, a veteran ex-revenue pilot famil
iar with the coast from Halifax to Nor
folk, became its keeper on the 8th of De
cember, 1853. The southern line of the
harbor makes a wide, deep-angled sweep,
with the city on one side. Fott Adams,
two miles off on tbe opposite point, and
Lime Hock midway between, about 300
yards from the shore. This rock com
mands the widest view of the harbor, and
upon it tbe keeper lived alone three years
and a half. Then a substantial, square,
two-story brick bouse was built, and in
June, 1857, his family joined him. Four
months later a stroke of paralysis disabled
him from all work, and ever since his
eldest daughter Ida has been the main
stay of the family. It was she who cared
for her father, and lightened her mother's
toil, and watched over her younger sister
Harriet, and rowed her brothers liudolph
and Hosea to school, and eked out the
light keeper's slender pittance with her
needle and other femenine labors, and
flew to the rescue of imperiled life with
an instinctive courage that would not let
her worst enemy sink without her risking
her life to save him.
In personal appearance this Newport
heroine scarcely attains tbe average height
of women, is remarkably slender, and
would be thought much nearer 20 than
27. Light brown hair, blue eyes keen
but kind, and cheeks pink-flushed, though
not round enough for beauty, attract one
to a woman whose quick smile and frank
and friendly manner more tban excuse
the inevitable educational deficiencies
which such a life must always entail. No
one can talk with her without believing her
as unselfish as she is fearless, and tbe
fame her heroism has created seems sim
ply to amuse her, without exciting tbe
least vanity. So little had she thought of
her own deeds that, when first asked, she
Lad to spend much time in consideration
before she could exactly say how many
she had saved I
Her father is still a sociable and pleas
ant old gentleman, able to walk a little,
but spending most of his walking hours
in his chair. Mrs. Lewis is a free-spoken
and hospitable matron, devoted to her
family, to ber four story papers, of which
Bonner's ledger is one, and to the care
of the lamp whose flame has glistened
across the harbor from sunset these many
years with as sure and unfailing a ray as
gleams from any light upon the Ameri
can coast. Itudolph is a young sailor of
23, now absent on a voyage, and "IIos
ey" (Hosea) is 20 and a teamsfer in New
port. Il.'ittie U only 17, aud possesses a
wealth of personal attractions that many
a fair Fifth avenue girl might envv. Both
tbe sisters indulge in rings and ear drops,
and other vanities dear to the feminine
heart, and wheu they have recourse to
the treasures of their wardrobe, accumu
lated chiefly by Ida's industry, they might
easily be mistaken for damsel of high
degree.
The house in which they live is white
washed till it glistens like 6now. and ev
erything is kept scrupulously clean. The
Rock itself is a jagged pile, less than an
acre in extent, divided by a channel,
which is bare at low tide, and so ultcily
barren that not a blade of grass will grow
. CO
upon it. A mischevious black poodle,
two rabbits, three plump cats (who made
an end to all the rats am mice long ago,)
a couple of turkeys, and a dozen common
fowls give quite a Robinson Crusoe air to
the place. The tide rises here about sev
en feet, and the highest point of rocks is
17 feet .above that line. On the land
ward side is a long high pier, capped with
15 massive blocks of stone, and here,
swinging from the derricks, or rocking on
the tide, may be seen the small, Kpiare
sterned, well worn Gox'ernrnent boat,
black without and white and green within,
in which Miss Lewis has learned to row
so well that even the brawny boatmen
of the harbor concede her superior skill,
and with which most of her rescues have
been achieved.
A portrait of the American Graee Dar
ling, and a picture of one of her exploits,
were published two years ago in an illus
trated paper, and many compliments and
requests for photographs ensued. More
than one romantic gentleman tried to per
suade her to change her name for his,
and found a friend indeed, but no wife
Two brothers, seafaring men, from Black
Rock. Connecticut, hae pressed their
suiu at Lime Kock with mo:e success,
and it is quite probable that both the sis
ters may be married before another
Spring.
It is worth nothing, perhaps, that Mio3
Lewis is rightfully entitled to the extra
ordinary and unprecedented name of "Ida
wally Zoradin," which she inherits from
the quaint fancy of her maternal grand
father, an estimable but eccentric Block
Islaud phyfcician. This name, however,
she has wisely discarded, and writes her
Belf simply "Ida."
In France or England such a heroine
would have Ioog since received many
honorable and substantial testimonials,
but scarcely any gifts wcie made to Miss
Lewis until the two soldiers, rescued on
the 29th of March, insisted on her ac
cepting a gold wateh und chain of Swiss
manufacture, valued at 100. L I'rang,
the Boston chromo publisher, sent her
last week a kind letter and half a dozen
choice pictures. John Carter Brown,
Esq., of Providence, and John Auchin
closa, Esq , of New York, have each
sent her a check for 25 ; and a Boston
gentleman transmitted to her last Friday
the sum of 100. An active Newport cit
izen, of long salt water experience, is rap
idly raising in that city and Providence a
subscription of 135, for the building of
a cedar life boat, to be finished in the
finaet style, by one the of best Newport
builders, and painted white with a gilt
stripe. It is almost certain that this will
be completed and presented to Miss Lewis
within a few weeks. Another energetic
citizen meditates raising a fund for her
benefit, this season, from the Summer
visitors at Newport, and one or two pri
vate enterprises of moment for her benefit
are also in progress.
In the opinion of the best judges, no
truer or moree fearless "heroin than Ida
Lewis ever found a place in the annals of
any humane society on either side of the
Atlantic, and nona more unselfish ever
received honors from those whose posi
tions or wealth enables them to crown
meritorious acts with euitabla rewards.
y. Y. Tribune.
We can always tell what 6ort of a wo
man a man marries by the way he treats
tbe printer. . If he gets a common wife he
forgets the printer altogether. If he gets
a tolerable good wife, be will send in the
notice of the marriage. If he gets a very
good one, he will send the printer a slice
ot cake accompanying the notice. If be
gets an extra good one, he will send a
greenback with the notice. And if he
gets a glorious angelic creature all af
fection and goodness he is sure to send
the printer a gold or silver dollar with the
notice of his happiness. No good wife
allows her husband to owe for his paper,
and if their worse half does not attend to
these things, it is a clear case of deception;
because a man that tvori't pay for his paper
will deceive his wife, and we have our
opinion of such.- Covington (Va .) Times.
A ladt acquaintance has had live chil
dren, all of whom have red heads. As
both herself and husband are similarly
afflicted, she has wisely concluded that it
is redheaditary in the family.
UlLlJLtGS OX lllLES.
Spring came this year az mutch as us
ual, hale butt'ous virgin, 5,000 years old
and upwards, hale and harty ole gal, wel
cuni lew York State, and parts adjacent !
Now the birds jaw, now the cattle hol
ler, now the pigs skream, now the geese
warble, now the kats sigh, and nature is
fiiskey ; the earnest pissmire, the virtu
ous bedbug, and the nobby cockroach,
arc singing Yankee Doodle and coming
thru the thi." Now may be seen the
muskeeter, that gray outlined critter of
destinj-, solitary and alone, examining his
last year's bill, and now may ba heard,
with the naked ear, the hoarse fihanghigh
bawling in the barnyard.
Kittens in the doorway, andpuppys on
the greeu, neighbor chats with neighbor,
and the languid urchin creeps listless to
wards the school. These things arc all
fust rate in their place, but spring brings
pesky hilts, and plants them carelessly,
sometima3 among the maiden's charms,
and sometimes among the young men's.
I kan talk like a prechuro poet about biles
now, for i have one in full bloom grow
ing on me, almost reddy tu pick, az big
az an egg plant, and az full of anguish
az a broken heart.
Biles are the surest things of their size
on record, az cross to the touch as a set
tin hen, or a dog with a fre.sh bone. Biles
always pick out the handiest place on
your body to build their nest, and if you
undertake to break them up, it only makes
them mad, and takes them longer to hatch
out. There ain't no such thing uz
coaxing ; nor driving them away. They
are like au impudent bed bug, they won't
move till they have got their fill.
Biles are az old az religion. Job, the
proflit, was the fust champion ov bilc6 and
he is currently reported tew hav more
biles, and more pashunce, to the square
inch, than enny one, two very rare things
to be found in any man.
PasJiunce and biles ! I should as soon
think of mixing courting and tauskeeters
tcgether for luxury.
I have got a great deal more faith than
I have pashunce, but i hain't got enough
faith in biles. I wouldn't trust a bile
even on one ov my boots.
I think faith is n better article than
pashunce. Faith sofneticucs 13 an evi
dence of brains, and pashunce quite as
often iz only numbness, but I don't think,
in these smooth and rough times, it is
bisi to hav toi rjuch c: p tal invested in
either of them.
But I am out ov the road. I must get
back onto biles again.
If u feller begins to wander, and get
out of the strait and narrow path, it is
curious how quick he will go to the .
Biles are very sassy ; sumtimes when
yer go to set down, they will git between
ycr and the chair 5 that is one evidence
of their ill-breeding, and i had one once
plant herself on the frunt endov my nose,
which was a most remarkable piece of bad
manners, for there is no room on my nose
anywhere for a bile, for when it. is even
ebb tide with my nose, it covers halfcf
mi lace. Biles are scd to be helthy, and
i gess they am for i hev seen some helthy
old biles, az big az a hornet's nest and az
full uv stings. I always want to be helthy
but if i bed to hev 2 biles or. me awl
the time, in order to be healthy, i should
think that i was bulling the market.
There is one more smart thing about
biles ; they are like twins ; they hardly
ever come singly, and i have known them
throw double sixes.
What! twelve biles on one man at a
time ! This iz wuz than fightin bumble
bce3 with your summer cloths on.
Biles are sed by the educated and cor
rect spellers of the land to bo an opera
shun of nature to get rid of sumthing wich
she wants to spare. This is tru without
doubt, but it don't strike me as. being a
polite thing in nature fo shuv oph her
biles onto other folks. I say, let every
body tend to their own biles.
But say all ycr kan about biles, call
them all the mean names current among
fishmongers, revile, persecute, and spit on
them, groan, grin, and swear when they
visit yer, hit them on the head and set
on them if yer please, there is a time in
their career when they concentrate awl the
pathos of joy that a man has on hand to
spare and that is when they bust.
This is bliss, glory and revenge on the
half-shell. A man leans back in rektmed
comfort, az innocent and az limber as a
mermaid. This pays for the fretful
nights and nervous days wile the bile has
been batching, this shows us what it iz
to grin and bear it this shows what it
iz to be biled, wrung out and bung up to
dry. This is tbe calm after the storm,
the wedding day of pashunce and joy ;
thU iz the chi isening of hope, the myetick
ben that lays 2 eggs a day ; this iz butter
on yer sassages. Exit biles.
A Stkange Mistake. A couple in a
town in Massachusetts recently had an
anniversary wedding-party with such a
large gathering of their friends that the
town hall had to be used for the occasion.
Everything was delightful till one of the
couple happened to think that the day
they were celebrating so joyfully was not
the anniversary of their marriage, but an
aged mother's death ! They had confus
ed the dates, and in this way made the
strange mistake.
When is a lawyer like a donkey !
When he is drawing a conveyance.
NUMBER 13.
A Huge Sell Over Two Hundred
Medical Students Taken In.
Medical students, as well as every oth
er sort of students, are proverbial for
practical joking, but about the best thing
we ever heard of them in this line occu;
red in this city yesterday.
The first thing noticeable out of the
usual routine at the University on that
morning was a large, handsomely printed
placard posted in the vestibule, and hav
ing at the bottom the names of the well
known firm of J. P. Morton & Co., tho
Main street book-publishing house. Thi.
placard announced that, in consideration
of the fact that the students of the Uni
versity had been liberal in their purchases
of said firm, it had been decided to pre
sent each and every one of the students
a copy of the "Physician's Guide," a
medical work of great merit." The pla
card further annouueed that the etudei.U
would be expected to call during the day
and receive their presents.
Of course, the praise of John P. Mor
ton & Co. was sounded all over the Uni
versity, and preparations were forthvi:u
made by all the students, individually and
in (quads, to call on their generous friendo
on Main street. Now, John P. Morten
& Co. all this time reposed in blissful ig
norance of what was going on at the Ui i
versity, and were as innocent of the pla
card pested in the vestibulo as were D.
Applcton & Co., or any other bookmen.
It was all the work of some villainous
students.
Quite early in the day a squad of stu
dents were on Main street, and in at Mor
ton's. Their call for the "Physician's
Guidtf" was promptly responded to. but
when they told who they were, and l!..ic
they had understood they were to get tlu
book "on the dead," the clerks looked ::t
each other in amazement and didn't at nil
understand. In this emergency John i
Morton & Co. themselves were called i;t
to explain matter;, but they were equal!
astounded when the errand of the studems
was made known. They denied all know 1-
edge of the placard, and then the students,
with unusual long faces,'ooked at each i.tL'--er
as much as the clerks had done. Ti.
whole truth soon flashed upon them, how
ever, and the scent of "mice" being pe
culiarly apparent, they apologized to J.
P. Morton & Co., and beat an inglori
ous retreat.
The sell was too good, though, ft,r
them to divulge to their fellow student,
even had their pride allowed them to a -knowledge
being placed in ro ridiculous- a.
position by a practical joke they had b.t
ten at so readily.
Again and again was the first scene
repeated in tho book store, as, throughout
the day, the students poured in, some
times coming in squads, sometimes by'
twos, and sometimes singly, and sure
enough they were when they learned how '
they had been gulled. The clerks grew
very weary of the joke, and of explainii;
the matter to theirdisappointed visitors.
They were glad enough when night cauic.
and two hundred and eiht out of the two
hundred and ten students in the University
had been explained to. The end of lh sr "
discomfiture was not yet, however, 'lo
cap the climax, late in the evening, -gawky-looking
fellow dropped in, and,
moving doubtfully up to the counter, spoko
hesitatingly and not without some coi-.-barrassment:
"I reckon, all tiiem uooks is gone, ain't
tluyr
This was the last call, and the Uiu
hundred and tenth student not making Lis
appearance, the conclusion necessarily fol
lowed that ho was the wretch who perpe
trated the sell. He ia still at large.
Louitvrfle Courier Journal.
"Bot Wanted!" The editor of the"
Erie Gazette, no doubt tired of the old ty.
tern of apprenticeship, thus advertises fjr a
boj' :
"Wanted, at this office, a boy fo take'
sheets from the press every Wedue&day a;:d
Saturday afternoon. No limits as to ta1 v,
and the said boy to consider that the fll-
exists for his special convenience. If 1 -don't
feel well, or wants to go fishing. .,c'
play marbles, or see match games of bat-e
ball, or go shopping with his girl, or visit
his cousin, the paper will wait his sovereign
pleasure. Anybody who presumes to criti
cise bis efforts is to be immediately arrcnd
for contempt. All the boys he knows ar
to have free run of the office. The editor's
time to be exclusively at the aforesaid boyV
disposal. Salary to be drawn several year
before. A boy possessing these qualifica
tions, please report where he can be f .uuJ.
and at what time a deputation of prim-
may call upon him, and respectfully pie
sent references of good character on the part
of the ofilce and its employes."'
A Tough Stoet. An old fellow whe
never yielded the palm to any one In reelii g
a knotty yarn, was put to his trump at
hearing a traveler atata that once he 6w a
brick house placed upon runners and drauu
up a hill to a more favorable location, son
half a mile distant. "What do you think
of that. Uncle Eithel?" said the bystaod--ers.
"O, fudge," said the old man, "I once
saw a two -story stone house, down Hist,
drawn by oxen three miles." A de?d m
lence ensued. The eld man evidently La.I
the worst end of it, and he saw it. Gath
ering his energies, he bit off a huge bit f"
pig-tail, by way of gaining time for thought.
They drawed the stone house," said tho old
man, ejecting a quantity of tobacco juice
towards the fire place; "bat that wasn't
the worst of the job after they'd done that,
they went back and drawed the cella.-"'
The stranger gave in.
Good Hay Weathek When it raic
pitchforks, three pronged ones-
J