WW. Ill lift II
IS. I.. JOHXSTOX, Editor.
UK IS A FREEMAN AVHOM THE TRUTH MAKES FREE, AND ALL AUG SLAVES BESIDE.
0. A. 91T1UE, Publlfcber.
VOLUME 2.
EBENSBURG, PA., THURSDAY, MARCH 5, 1868.
NUMBER 6-
Tke Cambria Freeman
WILL BE 1TBL13HKD
KVKUY THURSDAY MORNING,
At Ebensburg, Cambria Co., Fa.
At the following rates, payable within Vire
months from dte of subscribing :
One cony, one Tear. ----- 2 00
One copy, six months, - - -
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The who f.:i! to pay their subscriptions
until after the expiration of six months will
be charged at the rate of $2.50 per year,
and tho.se who fali to pay until after the ex
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the rate of $3.00 per year.
Twelve numbers constitute a quarter;
twenty livs, six months; and fifty numbers,
one year.
RATES OF ADVERTISING.
One square. 12 lines, one insertion. (1 00
Each subsequent insertion, 2ft
Auditor's Notices, each, 2 00
Administrator.' Notices, each, 2 60
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1 square, 12 lines, $ 2 60 I 4 00 $ 6 00
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Profcssi nal or Business Cards, not
exceeding 8 lines, with paper, 6 00
Obituary Notices, over six lines, ten cents
Ior line.
Sneci.il and business Notices eight cents
per line f e first insertion, and four cents for
ach subsequent insertion.
Resolutions of Societies, or commsnIca
tions o a personal Lature must be paid for
as advertisements.
job raiNtixa.
We have made arrangements by which
wo can do or have done all kinds of plain
and fancy Job Printing, ruch as Books,
raniph.:ts. Show Car!, Bill and Letter
Heads, Handbills, Circulars, &c, in the best
htylj of the art and at the tmt moderate
prices. Also, all kinds of Rutins. Blank
Books, Cook Binding, Ac executed to order
as good as the best and as cheap as the
c'.erpest.
NOTIIER NEW WRINKLE !
BOOTS AND SHOES
FOR ALL AGES AND BOTH SEXES.
Tn addition to his large Btock of the best
Eastern made
SHOES, BUSKINS, GAITERS, &c,
For Ladies and Children's Wear,
the subteriber has 1mt added to his assort
ment a full and complete luvoic of
Boots and Shoes for Men and Youths,
which he will not only warrant to be supc
tior to any Roods of like character now being
offered In this market, but vatly better in
very respect than the slopshop work with
which tha country is flooded. Remember
that I offer no article for fale which I do
riot guarantee to be regular custom made, of
the best material and superior fii-inn. and
while I do not pretend to compete in prices
mith the dealers In auction gotds. I know
that I ran furnish BOOTS. SLIDES. Ac,
that will give more service for less money
than r.ny other dealer in this community, and
I pledge myt-elf to repair, free of charge, any
article that may givo way after a wmable
time- and reasonable ut-ae. Everybody is
rwpeelfuily invited to call and examine my,
utock and learn my prices.
The subscriber Is also prepared to manu
facture to order any and all woik ii. his line,
of the very best material and workmanship.
nd at prices as reasonable as like woik cat
bo obtained anywhere. French Calf. Com
mon Calf. Morocco and all ether kluda of
Leather constantly on hand.
17" Str on Main street, next door to
Crawford's Hotel.
JOHN D. THOMAS.
.EbenaLnrg. Sept. 2G, 1867.
SECURE THE SHADOW ERE
THE SULSTANCE FADES.
PICTURES FORTHE MILLION.
nv'ng located in Ebensburg, I would re
spectfully inform the public that I am pre
pared to execute PHOTOGRAPHS in every
style of the ait, from the smallest card Pic
ture to the largobt sired for framing. Pic
ture taker, in any kind of weather.
J'HOTOGRAPIIS PAINTED IN OIL,
INDIA JNK OR WATER COLORS.
Every attention given to tha taking of
Children's pictures. but iu clear weather only.
Special attention is invited to mv stock
of large PICTURE FRAMES and PHOTO
GRAPH ALBUMS, which I will sell cheap
er than they can tx bought elsewhere in
town. Cujiying and Enlarging done on rea
sonable terms. I ask comparison and defy
competition.
Thankful for past favors, I solicit a con
uance f the same. Gallery on Julian street,
two doors south of Town Hall.
T. T. SPENCE. Photographer.
F.bcnfcWg, Nov. 14, 1867.
"17BEWSBURQ MARBLE WORKS.
ftiM. , s purchased the Marble Works
ton High street, one door east of T. W. Wil
nams Hard ward fcu.re. and fcUpp1ied n ,f
With an extensive stock of TOMBSTONES
I am now prepared to furnUh au worjc jn
my line at the lowest city prices, aQj feej
confident that I can render entire satihfac
tlon to all who favor me with their orders.
Parties debfring to purchase Tombstones are
respectfully invited to call and sxaruine spe
cimens on exhibition at my shop. Orders
from a distance will be promptly attended
to. and work delivered where desired.
-ijO. 1868. UTTINGER REED.
EURTMN fllXTUKE!
Has no superior N t-n Ae World!,
It is pronounced & faultless by all who
have used It. and It is predicted that it will
-persHe all other Curtain Pi,,
irrsaleby CEO. HUNTLEY.
RUrtlEJlUKK TIIC POOR.
Bemember the poor, for bleak winds are
blowing, .
And brightly the frost pearls are ghst ning
around;
The streamlets have ceased all their musical
flow ing
And snow lrifts lie scattered all over the
ground.
Kememler the poor In their comfortless
dwellings,
Ill-clad, and ill fed, and o'erburdened
with care ;
O, turn not away with a look so repelling :
Thy kindness may save them, perhaps,
from despair.
Remember the poor when the hearth-stone
is cheerful.
And happy hearts gather around its bright
blaze ;
There are hearts that are sad and eyes that
are tearful.
As bright as thine own in their sunnier
days.
Misfortunes may scatter thy present posses
sions. And plenty to poverty leave thee a prey ;
How bitterly then wilt thou thick of the
blessings
That charity asks from thy riches to-day.
Remember the poor as they thankfully
gather
Each round his rich table with luxury
spread ;
Thou too are a pensioner on a rich Father,
For health oud for friendship, for raiment
and bread.
If he hath been bountiful, with a like spirit
Dispense of that bounty which charity
claims ;
For greater the treasure thy soul shall in
herit When the bread on the waters returncth
again.
Remember the poor this thou art com
manded The SSaviour thus kindly remembered the
poor ;
The destitute thou shalt not send empty
handed. Unclad, and unwarmed. and unfed from
thy door.'
Thy peace in this life shali be like the deep
river.
And dying, thy welcome to Heaven Bhall
"Ye faithful and bles?cd of my Father come
hither ;
Ye did it to others ye did it to Me-'
A FUR TRADER'S ADVENTURE.
The winter of 1857 will be a lonjr re
membercd one in the commercial world.
It was the winter following the great panic.
Many n poor fellow now struggling through
bankruptcy, dates his misfortunes from
that trying period. I was connected with
a heavy fur house at that time a rich,
pro?prous establishment, that safly
weathered the etorm, and only grew the
richer on other people's misfortunes. It
will be remembered that fur pkius of
every kind tumbled fearfully in price. Kor
instance, mink skins, for which we had
been paying from $2,50 to 3, could be
purchased for seventy-five cents ; racoon
skins, for which we had been giving from
$1,25 to 1,50, could be had ic abun
dance for twenty-five cents. Fisher iskins
had fallen from 7 to 1 ; otter from $8
to 2, &.c. The partners of our houso
consulted together, and resolved to send
out careful bu)ers in every direction, and
pick up all the fur in the country, feeling
sure that prices were really on the "hard
pan," and could not be forced lower.
The rout marked out for me was, first
to Dubuque, thence to Prairie du Chein,
thence to St. Paul, and the great North
west generally. My journey to Dubuque
was eaBy enough, namely, rail all the way.
I arrived in January, and remained until
the middle of February, making excur
sions into the interor of both Iowa and ac
cessible portions of Wisconsin, which,
please remember, lays just across the river
a trifle up stream, however. I was
very successful, and managed to pick up
over $G0,000 worth of fur and peltries,
at very low prices. The poor people were
glad to get any price for their skins, only
stipulating for "good money." The
whole country was full of "wild cat cur
rency," and real genuine money possessed
a wonderful charm. I carried nothing
else, had lots of it, and of course was
everywhere welcome.
I traveled from Dubuque to Prairie du
Chein, up the Mississippi, on the ice.
The distance is about one hundred miles.
The Eledding was pplendid, the horses
lively, and no adventure befell me worth
noting. At Prairie du Chicn I stopped
at what waa known as Lower Town, and
put up at the Globe. The hotel was
pretty well filled with Eastern men, prin
cipally collectors and drummers for New
York and Boston firms, either looking op
new business, or endeavoring to settle up
old accounts, which were very numerous
and hopelefes.
I remained at Prairie du Chein until
about the middle of March ; that is to
to say, I made it my bead-quarters, mak
ing numerous and long excursions into
Iowa, on the other side W the river (ably
represented at this point by its thriving
city of McGregor,) and through various
portions of Wisconsin, in which State
Prairie du Chein is situated. When the
time came for me to proceed to La Crosse,
the ice of the river was too rotten to
trust, and it became necessary to perform
the journey by stage, across the country.
The distance to be traveled was a tririe
over a hundred milesj and as the frost
was then just coming out of the ground
pretty smart, it being an early spring, our
progress was quite flow. The coach, or
rather wagon for our stage was nothing
more than a long open wagon, filled with
pussengers, all men, eight of us, not
counting the driver. Among the passen
gers was a col'i ctor for a Hoston house,
who had met with such poor luck collect
ing that he had got completely strapped,
not having raised sufficient means to pay
his expenses since leaving Boston. On
the second night he told me frankly bis
condition, and begged a loan of 10 to
see him through to St. Paul. When we
just arrived at the night station, and af
ter examining my pocket book, and find
ing I had but two or throe dollars loose
money, I found it would be necessary to
open a package containing 10,000 sent
me by express to Prarie du Chein, the
seals of which I had never yet broken.
Not caring to make a display of so
much money before a crowd of strangers,
I invited my friend quietly to get a lan
tern, and come with me quietly into the
stable. He id so and we srocecded to
the head of one of the fetalis, and whi!e be
held the lantern I succeeded in opening
the package. I had to turn over a good
many bills of a large denomination before
I found a ten ; but at length I found one,
and handing it to him, and extracting
another for myself, stowed the packi'gc
of bills, minus its wrapping, in a money
belt, which I had strapped around me
next to my shirt. I had hardly finished
when I heard a rustling in the hay over
bead, and looking quickly up toward the
loft, through the hay rack, I thought I
saw a pair of eyes flashing down through
the darkness, but was not quite sure. 1
listened for a moment, but everything was
still, so we passed into the house.
My mind was disturbed ; I felt uneasy
and oppressed. I could not eat my sup
per, nor could I enter as usual into the
rollicking jests, stories and games with
which my fellows made merry thtir even
ings. I canied a good Colt revolver.
That day I had emptied every chamber of
its cylinder at sundry rabbits which
sprung up along the route. Without de
finitely feeling the necessity of so doing,
I fully reloaded and capped it. At the
hour fir retiring the landlord called the
hostler a powerfully built, heavy featured
man to show me to my bed. We as
cended a ladder to the loft, and there, tn
the floor, f-ix double bedd were made
simply straw ticks laid ou the floor, with
pillows, sheets and comforts upon them.
The hostler sis igned me the bed nearest
the ladder, and retired, leaving me a bit
of tallow candle about half an inch long.
I took a hasty survey of the premise.
Just across the hatchway, where the lad
der led to the room below, was a window
in the gable. It had a muslin curtain
over it, but this I speedily tore away. I
remarked that the ladder creaked fearfully
as the hostler descended. Away across
the room, to the other gable end, the beds
were laid in rows not a sleeper in tbem
as yet, notwithstanding which the hostler
had assigned me the bed next to the lad
der. He had not left me to my choice,
but merely put my candle down by it and
said, "Yer to sleep in there, sur."
I made up my mind he meant to try to
rob me, and the thought was anything but
pleasant. After definitely settling in my
mind the best course to pursue, I n moved
my clothes, and unbuckling my belt, I
raised the under sheet and laid it beneath
it and the pillow.
Perhaps the reader wonders why I
should have rjmoved it from around my
body. First, because a small, sharp knife
cuts it away while you sleep ; and, sec
ondly, I assure the" reader that if he or
she will try buckling a large leathern belt
filled with money about their waists for a
nap, they will soou see good reasons for
taking it ofF. Besides, I felt pretty sure
the man was a desperado, and was fear
ful he would first cut away the belt, if he
found it on me, and then stab me if I
stirred, leap down tho ladder, break for
the woods with the money, and clean-escape
before people could be made to com
prehend what was the matter. I laid my
olan3 definitely and wisely, as you will
I did not fall asleep, you may be sure.
All the horrible stories I had ever heard
related of robberies at country taverns ran
an incomprehensible race through my
memory. One after another the guests
were shown up by the hostler, as the even
ing wore on, until finally all was silent
below stairs.
It was probably half-past eleven o'clock
when the last passenger was shown up to
bed, and for more than an hour I lay toss
ing in wakeful anxiety. Finally the som
nolent influence of the dozen sleepers snor
ing so heartily around me, and the imper
ative demands of a tired body, overcame
me, and I dropped off into a light, uneasy
plumber. I awoke with a start of appre
hension once or twice, and felt for my mon
ey belt, but all was well, and becoming
more composed, I slept sounder. Suddenly
was awakened with a sensation as if tome I
one had slapped me quite heavily in the
face. The moon had risen just high
enough to shine full into the gable window,
making the room quite light. I looked
around -all the beds and their occupants
were visible, and I knew by the steady,
sturdy snoring that all except myself were
soundly sleeping. I passed my hand un
der the pillow. The money belt was there
all right, and I laughed at my nervous
ness, and was about to compose myself to
sleep again, When, hark 1 by George, that
ladder creaked t There, it creaked again!
I swear there's a man coming bleallhily
! up it. What I should do flashed through
I - :,-i.,ti., .t :nn.
volver, I turned my back to the ladder
and pretended to sleep.
Creak 1 creak ! creak ! then a long
pause. Confound the man, why don't he
come faster ?
My nerves were passing under a fearful
ordeal I I could scarcely refrain from
springing up and -calling out, "Who's
there !" But I was sustained somehow,
and remained quiet
Presently I felt a large hand sliding un
der my pillow. Heavens! I could scarce
ly lay still. Had I moved I would have
been stabbed instantly. Now I felt my
money belt slowly sliding from beneath
my head. Then there was a rather hur
ried move toward the gangway.
Creak 1 creak 1 went the ladder. My
time had ccme. Quick as lightning I
turned in my bed, took aim at the huge
form standing in the hatchway, boldly
outlined by the moonlight streaming in
through the able window, and fired.
There was a shriek, a strong, down
ward crash of a heavy body to the floor
below ; a general jumping up out of beds
and cries of alarm.
I explained matters as quickly as I
could, and then there was a general de
scent of the ladder to see the dead robber.
By tl ia time the landlord bad arrived
with a ligh. The man was not dead.
It was the hostler. He was sitting up,
groaning terribly. My money belt, with
the money untouched, lay on the floor be
side him, covered with blood. I imme
dately took possession of it. It so hap
pened we had a surgeon in the crowd.
We raised the poor devil to bis feet, when
from his right hand dropping a long vil
lainous looking knife. He would have
murdertd me had it been necessary. On
examination we found that my bullet had
gone clean through his left shoulder, break
ing his collar bone, inflicting a painful,
though not dangerous, wound. The sur
geon splintered bis shoulder, and he was
put to bed.
All the passengers were now thorough
ly awake. It was four o'clock in the
morning, and as there was a good moon,
the driver concluded he would get off ear
ly. So breakfast was got in a hurry, and
paying our bills, we gladly left so poker
ish a stopping place.
Whatever became of the hostler I never
afterwards learned.
From the N". Y. Metropolitan Record. J
DARBT DODD'S LETTER.
Our request last week to Darby, en
treating him to abandon the company of
Congressmen and other persons of low
tastes, has not, it seems, induced him to
leave Washington, He is still there or
was at the date of his last epistle and it
is rather doubtful if he will leave until
obliged by impecuniosity to do so. But
we do not regret that be disregarded our
entreaty, for had he loft the capital when
we requested him, he probably would
have missed the interesting debate of
which he writes to-day. Those who
have kept track of Congressional debates
during the past few weeks will have to
admit that the one reported by Darby
was not much less dignified than some
that have been published in the official
organ of Congress :
Washington, Feb. 20, 1S68.
Editor Pur (folio :
It is cheering to the patriotic mind to
scrutinize statesmanship as it is to be seen
in this noble capital of our glorious country.
Or to read the Globe reports of debates
iu Congress.
1 have been doing both.
Statesmanship is a splendid profession,
and some people think there is nothing in it
but profession.
But they are not loyal men.
Therefore nobody minJa what they think.
It is otherwise in my case.
If there is anything of which I may be
justly proud it is my loyalty.
I am not going to tell you all the sacrifices
I induced rr.y friends to make for their coun
try during the war ; let it suffice that my
advice put them on the road to fortune.
There's Yiolaute's father, for instance. I
induced that fine old gentleman to take a
pork contract, and though his sufferings
were great he triumphed at last, and came
out fifty thousand better.
Another member of the family, a poor
simpleton of a fellow, shouldered a musket,
and his investment proved a failure.
Somebody shot him, you see, and he fol
lowed the example of John Brown's body by
going iuto the mouldering business.
When a man goes into that business his
chance of improving his oondition becomes
rather slim,
Violante'a father preferred contracts, and
found it more profitable and agreeable.
lie is a true patriot.
But I am wandering from my subject.
My observations in Congress since I last
wrote have impressed me with a high sense
of the dignity and refinement of the repre
sentatives of our free and independent voting
population.
The debates have been quite spirted.
For an explanation of this, let me refer
you to the stationery accounts.
Especially the whiskey iteniSi
It seems rather odd to me that whiskey
should be called stationery, when the free
use of it generally makes a man unstation
ary. Uut I am not a philosopher.
Ner a member ot Congress.
If I was a member of Congress I might
find the station awry, aud retire from it.
This reminds me that I intended to write
to you about CoDgress
There was a delightful debate in the House
yesterday, and I found it almost as enter
taining as ths White Fawn. .
The White Fawn has notyst been produced
in Washington, but the whiie Fawney has
been running here for a long time.
He has also been running my two papers,
both daily, and the office of Clerk to the
Senate.
I may also remark that he shows some
signs of running down.
But I am getting away from Congress
again.
The debate 1 want to tell you about arose
on a resolution offered by Mr. Logan, of Il
linois, instructing the Committee on Lands
and Places to provide places for all disabled
soldiers applying for them.
Mr, Logan said : Mr. Speaker, I Insist
that these sons of Mars shall"
Mr. Marshall, 111. "Mr. Speaker, I rie
to a point of order. The infamous and ut
terly abandoned wretch, my honorable col
league, has seen fit to allude personally to
me. I scorn him, sir, I despise him ; and I
hurl back in his teeth the insinuation that
the persons for whom he wants places are
my sons. I"
Mr. Logan "If the miserable poltroon
who has interrupted me will allow me. I
will continue my remarks. 1 repeat, Mr.
Speaker, that the sons of Mars ha!l"
The Speaker "The gentleman is not in
order. It is improper to mention the name
of any member in debate."
Mr. Logan "I trust the Hon. Speaker is
not a drivelling idiot. If ho. and the ( ray
ing donkey who first interrupted me wi.l re
strain their slimy tongues I wi'.l continue
my remarks. 1 say. Mr. Speaker, an 1 insist
that these s ns of Mars shall be supported
by the Governrieut in which they were dis
abled." Mr. Rivers, N. Y..Baid he wished to know
if any of the persons for whom ihe foul
mouthed slanderer from Illinois desiied pla
ces were negroes. Negroes," continued
Mr. Rivers, are not fit for any position un
der the government of the United States.
Look at the negro's heel, Mr. Speaker, and
look at his shnks"
Mr. Shanks, Ind. "Mr. Speaker, the
coutemptible blackguard from New York
has connected my name with the question
before the House. I call him to order, sir,
and I demand a retraction of the slander he
has uttered."
Mr. Rivers Thifc fellow is beneath con
tempt, I repeat, Mr. Speaker, that the ne
groe's shanks show him to be utterly unfit
for the duties of public office. The sneak
and renegado who oflercd this resolution has
an ol ject to attain. I dare say there is a
price"
Mr. Trice, Iowa "If the low scoundrel
refers to me I pronounce him a liar, and if
he wants satisfaction he can have it. I hurl
back his slanders upon the noble race that
saved this republic from fiendish rebels and
traitors a race to which we are indebted
for patriotic service a race whose aims"
Mr. Ames, Mass. "Mr. Speaker, the in
nocent fool who has referied to me is wan
dering from the subject before the House
I do not object to the negro being discussed
here, but the gentleman seems inclined to
pile"
.Mr, Pile, Mo. "A point of order, 3Ir.
Speaker ; I call the ass from Masaachusetts
to order. He is endeavoring to excite
hate"
Mr. Ilaight, N. J. "It is false. I brand
the assertion as a falsehood, and I defy the
ruffian who insinuates that I can be incited.
The negro has been drawn into this discus
sion, sir, and when the negro plants"
Mr. Plants, Ohio "The blundering block
head links my name with the colored man
and would"
Mr. Wood, N. Y. "Mr. Speaker, I move
a vote of censure upon the creature who
speaks of me in connection with the negro
I scorn bis yelping, and look upon him as a
mere cur"
Mr. Mercur, Pa. "The slimy Copper
head who alludes to me is unworthy of no
tice. He has spoken of me as if 1 were a
dog. Sir, has tha wretch ever heard of
Old Mother Hubbard who"
Mr. Hubbard, N. Y. "Mr. Speaker, this
debate should be closed at once, if person
alities cannot be kept out of it. If the lapt
speaker meant me when he spoke of old
Mother Hubbard, I pronounce him an un
mitigated donkey. If he wants me he
knows where I am to be found."
This closed the debate aud the resolution
was adopted.
With profound 'respect for the dignity and
refinement of our representatives, I remain
Yours, respectfully,
Dare TobD.
Curiosities of the World. At the
city of Modcna, in Italy, and about four
miles around it, wherever the earth is dug,
when the workmen arrive at the distance
of sixty-three feet, they come to a bed of
chalk, which they bore with an auger five
feet deep. They then withdraw from
the pit before the auger is removed, and
upon its extraction the water bursts up
through the aperture with great violence
and quickly fills the new-made well,
which continues full and is effected neither
by rains nor droughts. But that which
is most remarkable in this operation is
the layers of earth as we descend. At the
depth of fourteen feet are found the ruins
of an ancient city, paved streets, houses,
doors, and different pieces ofmosaic work.
Under this is found a soft oozy earth,
made up of vegetables, and at twenty-six
feet deep large trees, entire, such as wal
nut trees, with the walnuts still sticking
to the stem, and the leaves and branches
in a perfect state of pre-er ation. At
twenty-eight feet deep a soft chalk is
found, with a vast quantity of shells, and
this bed is eleven feet thick, l.uder this
vegetables are found again, with leaves
and branches of trees aa before.
It is said that Meade has ordered a
ppecial election in certain counties in Ala
bama, in order to get Votes enough, if
possible, to carry the "constitushun.
Two or three more trials, and the votes
of a few hundred more colored "George
Washingtons,' "Thomas Jeffersons,"
and "Abraham. Liukums," may do the
business.
Haw Peeblss Asked the Old dan.
BT JOHN QCIIX.
Peebles had just asked Mr. Merri
weather's daughter if she would give
him a lift out of bachelordom, and she
had said "yes." It therefore became ab
solnin?" necessary to get the old man's
permission, so, as Peebles said, that ar
rangements might be made for hopping
the conjugal twig.
Peebles said he'd rather pop the inter-
frogatory to all of old Merriweather's
daughters, and his sisters, and his female
cousin, and his aunt Hannah in the
country, arid the whole of his female re
lation?, than ask old Merri weather. But
it had to be done, and so he sat down and
studied out a speech which he was going
to disgorge to old Merriwcather the very
first chance he got to shy it at him. So
Peebles dropped in on him on Sunday
evening, when all the family had mean
dered around to clas3 meeting, and found
him doing a sura in beer measure, trying
to calculate the exact number of quarts
his inteiior could boll without blowing
the head off of him.
"Hotv are yon, Peeb !" said old Mer
ri weather, as Peebles walked in as white
U3 a piece of chalk, and trembling as if
he had swallwed a condensed earthquake.
Peebles was afraid to answer, because he
wasn't sure about that speech. He
knew he had to keep his grip on it while
he lnd it there, or it would slip away
from him quicker than an oild eol
through an augur hole. So he blurted
right out :
'L- Merriweather, sir : Perhaps it
may not bo unknown to you, fcir, that
during an extended period of eoma five
years, I have been busily engaged in tha
prosecution of a commercial enterprise '
"Is that so, and keepiu' it secret all
the time, while I thoHght you was tendin'
store. Well, by George, you're one of
'cm, now, ain't you ?'
Peebles hud to begin all ofcr again, to
get the run of it.
"Mr. Merriweather, sir: Perhaps it
may not be unknown to you that during
an extended period of Eorne five years, 1
have been engaged in the prosecution of a
commercial enterprise with a determina
tion to procure a sufficient maintenance
"Sit down, Peeb, and help yourself to
beer. Don't stand there holding your
hat like a blind beggar with the paralysis.
What's the matter with you, any way f
I never seen you behave yourself so in all
my born days."
Peebles was knocked ou! ag iir, ai.d bad
to wander back and take a fresh start.
"Mr. Merriweather, sir : It may not
be unknowu to you that during an ex
tended period of some five years, I have
b'en engaged in the prc9ecution of a com
mercial enterprise, with the determination
to procure a sufficient maintenance "
"A which-ance V atked old Merri
weather: but Peebles held on to the last
word as if it was his only chance, and
went on :
"In the hope that some day I might
enter wedlock, and bestow my earthly
possessions upon one whom I could call
my own. I have been a lonely man, sir,
and have felt that it is not good for man
to be alone ; therefore "
"Neither is it, Peebles ; and I'm r.II
fired glad you dropped in. How's the
old man f"
"Mr Merrivcather. sir," eaid Peebles,
in despairing confusion, raising his voice
to a yell, "it may not be unknown to you
that, during an extended period of a lonely
man, I have been engaged to enter wed
lock, and bestow all my commercial en
terprise on one whom 1 could procure a
determination to be good for. a sufficient
possessions no, I mean that is that
j Mr. Merriweather, sir, it may not be un
known "
"And then again it may. Look here.
Peebles, you'd better lay down and take
something warm : you ain't well I"
Peebles, sweating like a four-year-old
colt, went in again :
"Mr. Merriweather, sir : It may not
be lonely for you to prosecute me whom
you can call a friend, for commercial
maintenance, but but -oh, dang it
Mr. Merriweather ; sir-it
"Oh, Peebles, you talk as wildly as a
jackass. I never see a more first -class
idiot in the whole course of my life.
What's the matter with you, anyhow?"
"Mr. Merriweather, sir," said Peebles,
in an agony of bewilderment, "It may
not be unknown that you ' prosecuted a
lonely man who is not good for a commer
cial period of wedlock for some five years
but "
"See here, Mr. Peebles, you're drunk j
and if you can't behave better than that
you'd better leate. If you don't I'll
chuck you out, or I'm a Dutchman."
"Mr, Merriweather, sir," said Peebles,
frantic with despair, "it may not be un
known to you that my earthly possessions
are engaged to enter wedlock five years
with a sufficiently lonely man who is not
good for a commercial maintenance"
"The bloody deuce he isn't. Now you
just git up and git, old hofy, or 1 11 knock
what little brains out of you you've got
left."
With that old Merriweather took Pcc
bles.by the shirt collar and the part of
his pants that wears out first if he sits
down much, and shot him into the street
as if he bad just run against a locomotive
going at the rate of forty miles an hour.
Before old Mcrrhveather had a chance '.o
shut the front door Peebles collected his
legs and one thing or another that were
lying around on the pavement, and ar
ranged himself in a vertical position, and
yelled out :
"Mr. Merriweather, sir: It may not
be unknown to you " which made the
old man so wretched mad that he went
out and set a bull terrier on Peebles be
fore he had a chance to lift a brogan, and
there was a scientific dog fight, with odds
in favor of the dog, until they got to the
fence, and even then Peebles would hav
carried bull-terrier home, gripped like a
clamp is to his leg, if it hadn't been that
the meat was too tender, and ike dog,
feeling certain that something or other
must eventually give way. held on until
he got his chop off of Peebles calf, and
Peebles went home half a pound lighter,
while Merriweather asserts, to this day,
that they had to draw all the dog's teeth
to get the fle.h out of his mouth, "for ho
had an awful holt for such a small ani
mal." Of course Merriweather's daughter
heard about it, and she was so mad that
she never gave the old man uny peace un
til he went around the next day to see
Peebles about it. Peebles looked pale as
a ghost from loss of blood and beef, and
he had a whole piece of muslin wrapped
around his off leg. Merriweather said :
"Peeb, I'm sorry about that muss last
night, but if you didn'i bvbave like a rav
ing maniac, I'm a loafer. I never Bee
6uch a deliberate ass since I was born.
Wbat'a the meaning of it, anyway ?"
"I was only trying to ask you to let
me marry your daughter," groaned Pee
bles. "Great what ? You didn't mean to,
mean to say welL I hope I may bs shot.
Well, if you ain't a regular old wooden
headed idiot I thought your mind was
wandering. Why didu't you say it right
out f Why of course you can have her.
I am glad to get rid of her. Take her,
my boy ; go it, go it, and I'll throw lot
of first class blessings into the bargain."
And Peebles looked ruefully at his de
fective leg and wished ho had not been
such a fool, but be went out and married
the girl, and lived happily with her for
about two months, and, at the end of that
time, he told a confidential frienl that be
would willingly take more trouble and
undergo a million more dog biles to get
rid of her.
A Ilea for Mean Men. A corres
pondent undertakes the defence of "mean
men," as close calculators are sometimes
called, as follows :
"Who makes the better husband ! At
the risk of bringing down a torrent of
maledictions on my unprotected head, I
shall still adhere to the man who is sup
posed to have no heart or genuine human
sentiment. The good fellow for a lover,
the mean roan for a husband. The latti-r
will rob all creation to supply his house
hold -the former will rob his family to
accommodate his friends. F rm all the
married women in a solid column up and
down Second street, and if I dont't get
ninety-nino votes out of one hundred in
favor of my proposition, I will treat to a
barrel of gin and water on tha occasion of
the first election fr a female President.
Good fellow, all love mean man, all
business. One takes his wife to the opera
in a four horse carriage 'the other ridv-a
triumphantly in a street omnibus. The
good fellow never can be cross to any
body but his wife, for fear of making him
self unpopular the mean man is so sour
with all the rest of the world, that he has
not one particle of ill-temper to spare at
home.
"Lrvo rules the court the camp, the grove.
For love is Heaveu, aud Heaven is love."
but it won't buy beef. The mean man
seldom gets 'salubrious,' he is too mean.
His wife is never jealous. She knows all
women hate him, because be is mean,
and she rather likes it. She laughs an I
grows fat. Good fellow drinks 'too kind
hearted to refuse and he loves every
body. Good fellow's wife pale and ema
ciated, and full of sorrow. Mean cuss's
wife hale and hearty fat, red-faced
and weighs a ton. Am I right T ur
rislurg I'ulrioi.
Tiikre has just been settled a remarka
ble divorce case before the Superior Court
of New London, Connecticut. It appear
that Keuben Lamb sailed for Cunberland
Inlet in April, 18G5, as a mate of the
schooner Franklin. When the vessel left
in the fall, Lamb remained among the
Esquimaux, having taken to himself an
Esquimaux wife. It was proven that
Lamb had never sent sny word to his
wife, and that he was living among th
Indians, having adopted their customs arid
manners. It was also shown that Lamb
bad two children by his (Esquimaux wife.
The divorce was granted.
Poor men are innocent beings. 11m y
vote wealthy nabobs Into office, for the
purpose of building up and legislating lor
monopolies to grind the life out of them.
But it's "loil" to vote for end support
"loil" mcj instead of patiiots and IXtuo
iT;iU. Asa consequence, each poor man
is paying into his rich neighbor's porkrt
from $300 to 800 a year more than be
J used to pay in Democratic times. I low
much more does he get now for his labor
than he received befvre "loyalty" gut u.tv
power ?
Ii