WHATS" NICER I I JUST ASK YOUR WIFE IF SHE; WOULDN'T LIKE TO HAVE A NEW RANGE? SHE'LL LIKE THE KIND WE SELL. COME AND SEE. WE HAVE THE BEST. WE CARRY A FINE LINE OF HEATING STOVES FOR ALL KINDS OF FUEL. ES EC IALLY A FINE LINE OF WOOD AND COAL HEATERS. A FULL LINE OF BASKETS AND MEASURES FOR ALL PURPOSES. A FULL LINE OF GAS HOSE. COAL PAILS AND AMMUNITION OF ALL KINDS. Plumbing, Tinning, Steam and Hot Water Heating a Speciality. • The Most Complete Line of Hardware Trover has our establishment been better able to meet the . demands of the trade than at present. We have the largest and most complete line of everything that should be found in a first class Hardware store. Drop in and see us—no harm done if you do not purchase. F. V. HEILMAN & CO. Next door to Geo. J. La Bar's Furniture Store. |j M I 8 I I I I This Space belongs to C. B. HOWARD & COMPANY. Will see you later. I - | ft I it II ■ ■ I I Is i I 4: ' « k * CAMERON COUNTY PRESS, THURSDAY, MARCH 23, 1911. The Vacant Literary Th'ont There In. We Hint mlllilt Itrfinv no n.ouun li In mi) l«»lijnie ii|i»n the llter arjr throne. m> *«Mere Nairn. n lisb, to use an Irish wont licit lieianie a favorite with Sit Waitei s not let u> nurse the humor of the despondent editor wbo mournfully told his render*. "No new epic this month." Nobody can tell how the winder* <,f language are performed nor how a tiook comes into the vrn- 1 -! '7>n'" genius. The lamp that t««iu> may think burns low win n-pieu n ed. New orbs will bring iulii. Liter, lure may l>e trusted to take cure of itself, for it is the trniisi rs;>t of the drama of life, with all its actors, moods and strange flashing fortunes. Tbe curiosity that it meets is per petual and Insatiable, and the impulses that inspire it can never be extinguish ed.-—John Morley. Thrifty Harry Lauder. There are mans stories tolil of the wonderful thrift ot llarry Lauder, the Scotch comedian. Ouce when Lauder was in New York he was in a wine buying party at tbe Astor. Everybody but the Scot bought wine. When It came bis turn to buy be sighed. "Well, boys." he said, "it's my turn to treat. Come along with me. I've got a tine bottle of old Scotch up In my room. I brought It over with me." On another occasion he was with a drinking party and instead of liquor he took cigars, for which those who treat ed him paid 50 cents apiece. Harry put all but one In his pocket. He spent two hours smoking that one. After the drinking was over the little comedtau went to the cigar counter nnd said to the man In charge. "I say, man. wtid ye mind glvin" me ten cent cigars for these fafty cent ones?" The exchange was made, and Harry went to bis room with Ave times as many cigars as he had at the start Thought It Was Serious. The burning of tbe famous Grey friars church in Edinburgh occurred one Sunday morning, and the young people of a bouse which backed upon tbe churchyard were among the first, as they were preparing to start for church, to observe the flames. It was the housemaid's Sunday out, and old Kitty, tbe cook, was that day respon sible for her duties. Hearing unwonted commotion and excited outcries up stairs, she came panting and hobbling up from her basement kitchen, crying anxiously at each stair: "Ob. what is't? What is't?" "Oh. Kitty, look here!" cried one of the girls from a window. "Greyfriars church Is burning up." Kitty dropped limply on a settee. "Is that a', miss?" she grumbled be tween gasps. "What a fright ye geed me: I tblcht ye said the parlor fire was out."—Youth's Companion. Blending the Odors. It has been proved that two odors which do not seem to have anything In common, that of putrefied cheese and that of pineapple, are so closely allied from tbe chemical standpoint that It takes but a few minutes to transform an intense stench Into a 6weet fragrance. This curious experi ment Is easily made and requires but a small ' amount of three chemicals— valerianic acid, sulphuric acid and amylic alcohol. Care must be taken not to spill over the fingers or dress any drop oi tbe first two named liq uids. Sulphuric acid is exceedingly caustic and the stench ot valerianic acid, besides being unendurable. Is very difficult to get rid of.—London Family Herald. The Caddie's Advice. A famous woman golfer was talking about tbe St. Andrews links. "And as wonderful as the links," she said, "are the caddies. The Bcotch caddie Is tbe quaintest of mortals. For instance: "1 bad skied a lot of balls one morning, much to my caddie's dis gust Finally he teed a ball for me and then, handing me my driver, re marked: " 'Noo, leddy, let's see a guid shot, and nae uiair o' yer glory hallelujahs.' " The Outdoor Nation. No nation loves nature so much as the German. The Italian travels to get somewhere, tbe German to travel Tbe country walk for Its own sake is a German discovery. The English man's ideal Is a park, the German's a wood, and the Frenchman loves bis boulevard.—Hamburger Zeltung. She Admitted It. A Mrs. Ma la prop said to Clam No vello, the noted English prima donna. "You will admit that there is a great deal of evil life hi tbe theater." "True, indeed." replied Clara, "but on which side of the curtaiuV" An Economist. "You should ride a horse " "Can't afford it." said the apprehen HlVe |M-rVoll "But It will give you an ap|>etlte." "Perhaps But It will do the same for tbe borse." Washington Star A Big Gun. "Professor Smart Is a man of large mental caliber. Is he not?" "Tie " ♦artiriiily Is h hi* tsire."—(Jul veralty of Minnesota Minnehaha 'I hat Is tbe bit I erest of all. to wear the yoke af your own wrongdoing.— Bitot. A wa.rto Medici once entertnlnul the ambition of acquiring both North •iid South America an appendages to ber crown, and with that object In View stir dispatched a couple of her representatives to tbe scene of opera tloua. The northern section of tbe en terprise was committed to the charge of the queen's favorite, Trollus de Mesgonez, wbo wan adorned wltb the title of viceroy of France and nailed from Havre wltb a large fleet, only to be wrecked In the Atlantic. Another favorite, Strozzl, was commissioned to capture South America, but be waa no more fortunate thanr Mesgonez, for be watt killed at tbe Azores. These happenings, however, took a long time to reach tbe ears of gucen Catherine, and in the meantime she nursed her dreams and prepared n map on which "the uew world of tbe north" and"the new world of tbe south" figured as colonies of France. This cartographic curiosity is aiuong the map treasures of the National library in Paris. Sweetness That Never Palls. During a sleepless night the Vizier Mujjeduddiu Kumija dispatched his slave. Bedruddln Ejas, to bring him sweets. Tbe slave procured a copper kettle heaped wltb many kinds of fruits and sweets, and MuJJeduddin began to eat. "You relish them, my master?" asked the slave. The vizier shrugged his shoulders. "These fruits are sweet—for the mo ment." be said, "but show me a fruit the sweetness of which will endure even unto the judgment day." "Such fruits there are, my master," cried the slave and hastened toward the Mesched Huso, where he awoke tbe starving orphans In the house of Allwln nnd led them forth Into the room of his master. Overjoyed, the famished children devoured the fruits. "Look, oh, my master," said the slave. "Here you see fruits the sweet ness of which endures unto the judg ment day." Two Little Bills. Robert was In the habit of expecting reward for every little service. At the end of the week he made out a "bill" to his mother and carefully laid It where her eyes would fall upon It. Tbe items were as follows: "Mother Owes to Robert "Five cents for running errands. "Five cents for being good." That evening there appeared beside Robert's plate a paper upon which was written: "Robert owes mother, for years of happiness, nothing; for nursing him through long illnesses, nothing; for do ing good to him, nothing." Thoroughly ashamed of himself. Robert ran to mother, threw his arms around her and sobbed: "Mother, I will do everything I can' for you after this, and I'll never ask you to give me anything but just love."—Own ha World-lleraid. Easy to Please. "So," said bis girl's papa furiously, "you think you could make my little girl Arethusa happy?" The young man considered his pro spective pa-in-law. who had gout and a face like a tire engine and an eighty horsepower temper. "She's been happy with you, sir, hasn't she?" the young man asked. "I think so, my boy—l think so," re plied his girl's papa. "1 certainly think so. 1 think so certainly. I'm certain I think so." "Well," chimed In the young man sweetly. "If she's been happy with you I certainly think I can make her happy. 1 think so. 1 think so cer tainly. I'm certain 1 think so." Sleepwalking. Somnambulism has been a mystery and a matter of discussion to the med ical profession since the days of the ancients. They knew as well as we all now know that there is sucb u thing as somnambulism, or walking In the sleep. They attempted to explain it Just as modern medical science has been endeavoring to explain It ever since. But as it was then so it is now. There are so many explanations that even the physician Is puzzled to decide which to accept. A l-reak. The elevator was waiting for pas sengers on the ground floor of the sky scraper when an excited woman flut tered over to the man running It "Does this car go up?" she Inquired, breathless "No, madam." said the elevator nianj unperturbed, "this is a crosstowu car." —New York Times. 1 ho One Place. "That Mrs. Gossip seems to be at home wherever she may be." "Well, 1 saw her In a place yester day where she seemed decidedly rest less and uneasy." "You don't say? Where was that?" "At liouie."—Catholic Standard and Times. Awkwardly Expressed. Gushing Lady—l hear you've been away for your health, professor. Mu sical Lion —Yes. I've been at Marlen bad taking the baths. Gushing Lady— lteally! That must have been a change for you!— London Oplulon. What's the Answer? The Inevitable kid and bin question: "Papa, who furnishes the meat for the train, the cow catcher or the train butcher?"—Sautu Fe Employees' Mag azine Pretty Dad. "Was the play bad?" "Well, I should say Why, even the lights went out at the clom of the ■evoitil wt* |PILESh Suppository - 11. Hall. TlxißibMin, Rap'( ■ '»ra.|"l Sel,.■>.)«, Sialaavllta, N C.. arli.i "I nmn m . ■ ill'; «» >ll tf.« alaiu. f»r tli.m • », B. m D.»..ri\ ■ Rav--n R1 ;.||| I »"»« rouod Bo r .„n. i ■ Jour. " r«ir., 40 Ca.Ta. ham »i tft. £..14 »UOT, I»WC««TH, p«; Sold /* emporium hy I. Tiqqtrl ind K. C Dodfoa MM fo* run t«MPif KEELEYCURE I T tic cure that has been continuously successful for more than 81 years fs worth investigating. For the drug or drink habit. Write for particulars. • • Only Keelev Institute in Western Penna. Fifth Ave., Pittsburgh, Pa. 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This is the fancy table I I llff'ji article which is taking the place of high- lutW/j jjll 11 vl||\ priced butter all over the country in cities, / I W/jrJ 'lii 11l \ towns, and on the farm. Every pack age K t Mj. I'MV A bears the U. S. inspection stamp. You PI" 1 ! •' 'Si J may color it for home use so that even an expert iaS can not tell it from gilt-edge creamery butter in \» color, aroma, flavor, and texture. Fill out this jfggH blank and mail to us at once. »V fy Coloring "Double Cream." Request for I Catechism No. 9 I Name Pieue mail me / Street and No. your free "Double J Cream" Catechism: I P"" B ®™ —D.———— \ Express Office State' LICENSED CHURNERS: THE OHIO BUTTERINE COMPANY, 50 Walnut Street, Cincinnati, Ohio. V / |«itil iMKily U|wa lumg th« IIKM / Waverly Gasolines—three grades— / 7fi« - Special - Motor ' uLl'« I'owrr Without Carbon product,, n« ' »»-tur»l •»«'!. WAVUU.Y OIL WORKS COMPANY, K,f,n*rt. PITT-SBHRC.. PA. oven 68 YEARS' TRADC MARK* DESIGNS COPYRIGHTS AC. Anyone sending a sketch end description may quickly ascertain our opinion free whether so invention in probably patentable. Communica tions strlotl* confidential. HANDBOOK on Patent* sent free, oldest agency for securing patents. Patents taken through Munn A Co. receive tptcial notice, without charge, lathe Scientific American. A handsomely Illustrated wm>klj>. J.arrest cir culation of any Kriontldc Journal. Term*. |:i a jnrnr: four montba.tL Bold byall newsdruler*. MUNN & Co. 36,8,0 ad New York drunch Office. 62S F Ht„ Waaklnuton. D. C.