Ona Way Out.
Perklus had itccsi appointed tutor to
the voting lord of ih- manor. and to
gether llie> were iii:i killu the grand
tour Perkins was <ir«i l itiiur him
self >:i t!.. i n lot ol iim
pupil; hui. ilas. ilif.v ii il i.iil.v reached
Ci \:l Vl'li'll Ills 11.1.v 101 l deeply
ill love v\ i li ;i pleii\ Swiss peasant,
lu vain did in- remonstrate with tho
you nt! lord pointing "'it the sm-iai bar
rier tliiil existed between the lovers
and the total impossibility of marri:tge.
But all to oo purpose The beautiful
Swiss tn:i li: >mi held the young lord's
heart dipt be. mid he would scarcely
leave her side.
Distracted. Perkins wrote home to
the marchioness asking her adviee and
pointing out her son's infatuation.
A day or two passed in agonizing
suspense.
At last the answer came. Perkins
breathed a sigh ot relief. All his anx
iety would now be over. He tore open
the envelope, but as he read the letter
he groaned In the anguish of his soul.
It consisted of three words:
"Marry her yourself."
Poor Bijou!
During the siege of Paris, Fran
clsque Sarcey indignantly protested
against tii< practice of eating dogs.
Hunger, however, knows no law, and
cauitie and feline butcher shops were
opened in different parts of Paris.
Skillfully prepared, properly skinned
and cooked, with a good sauce, the
dogs proved excellent eating. Their
meat;was pink and delicate and by no
means tough. Canine cutlets were
sold at 2 francs each, and a leg of dog
might be purchased at double that
price a pound.
Two good bourgeois, husband and
wife, had a little dog of which they
•were very fond, lint a day came when
there was nothing to eat in the house,
and p.oor Bijou- had to be killed and
cooked. His master and mistress sat
down to dinner with tears in their
eyes, and during the dinner the latter
mechanically placed the tiny rib bones
on the side of her plate. "Poor Bijou!"
she ejaculated with a sigh. "What n
treat these would have been for hi in!"
—Frank Sehlosser in Contemporary
Review.
A Tearful Eye to Business.
Advertising is nowadays almost a
fine art. Clever advertisements at
tract customers in two ways—first, be
cause they effectually call attention to
the goods, and. second, because oi
their cleverness, pure and simple. Such
a one is the following, quoted from
London M. A. P.. which adorned a
boot shop in the Rue d'Amsterdam, in
Paris:
LIQUIDATION.
With tears in my eyes, i am obliged to
clear the whole of my stock of boots.
To get rid of It all In a week 1 offer it
to you at a loss of 50 per cent.
My husband seeing fit to abandon m«
with five children.
WITS
Can't 1 goon wtthout my husband? He
cause my husband alone was able to ob
tain Job lines from the big provincial and
foreign bootmakers.
Prudont ladies will profit by these ex
traordinarily low prices, which will en
able me to olear out my stock and search
for my husband throughout Europe.
MME. MARIE-LOUISE X.
Nothing to Say.
According to a delightful story oi
Shelley, recounted in the International
Journal of Ethics by the Rev. Bradley
Oilman, the splendid mental equip
ment of the poet did not include hu
mor. In his characteristically impas
sioned way, Shelley was deeply inter
ested in the problem of immortality.
One day be met a nursemaid wheeling
a very young child in a perambulator.
"Here Is a little soul," he reflected,
"recently come to earth out of the
great unknown preceding human life.
Perhaps he can tell me something
about the great unknown after human
life The two realms may be one and
the same."
ne accosted the infant twice, but oi
course gained no response, only a blanli
infantile stare.
"Alas, alas!" sighed Shelley. "How
very reticent these little creatures
are!"
Rubber and Gutta Percha.
There are important distinctions be
tween india rubber and gutta percha,
and in the majority of purposes fol
which they are employed one cannol
replace the other. While the trees
yielding India rubber are well distrib
uted over the tropical parts of the
world and may be cultivated witll
more or less facility, the tree whict
furnishes gutta percha is to be found
only in Borneo. Sumatra and the Ma
lay archipelago generally.
Something For Nothing.
Wise Old Uncle— Remember. Tommy,
as you go through this world that you
can't get something for uothlng. Pre
cocious Nephew—Oh, yes, you can, un
cle! When 1 don't eat nothin' I git
an awful pain in my stummick.—Chi
cago Tribune.
Undecided.
The dealer was busy filling bottlea
from a hogshead of wine.
"What kind of wine is that?" queried
an innocent bystander.
"Don't know," answered the dealer.
"I haven't labeled it yet."—Argonaut
Hard Job.
Matrimonial Agent—Really, when 1
see those two whom I am going to in
troduce to each other 1 don't know to
which I shall break it gently.—File
gende Blatter.
The First Spat.
She—lf i had known that yen would
scold I never would liava married you.
He—lf I had known that yo,u would
marry me 1 would have scolded.
Hath man no second life? Pitch
this one high, Matthew Arnold.
His Lesson In Golf,
A promli.i'iii business t.uin not long
lince became ulHlcted with a bad case
i»f "gonitis'' thai is, in- joined the rr
my of cranks at the game, wanted '<i
play nil tin- time, fall; of nothing else,
etc As Is flu* case with all "duffers."
he had his troubles at rh«* start, and
the way lie fired questions at his
friends was a caution His golf ac
quaintance* accommodatingly replied
with ail sol's of remedies, until finally
till- bewildered one got his stenogra
pher to Jot I hem down One friend's
advice Included three points—first,
keeping the eye on the ball; second,
ilie necessity of hitting the ball with
an easy stroke, and. third, the use of
a rocking horse to develop the stroke.
The fact that the friend had a keen
sense of humor did nut occur to the
tyro until later, lie immediately pur
• hascd a iar-.e rot-kit g horse and after
business "hours seated himself astride
the fiery i .'larger and swung at th«
ball, which whs securely fastened to
the floor by a strong cord. He I: 'i
learned a thing or two since. The
hobbyhorse Is no more, and he lias
vowed to get square with "Mr. Joker"
If it takes a thousand years.—Mew
Vork Tribune.
Snbduing a Bully.
A writer in a Vladivostok paper tells
of an encounter lie once witnessed on
a Siberian train between a lady and h
nobleman.
When the train pulled up at Tsitikar.
in Manchuria, a Manclm noble who
had bullied all his fellow passengers,
alighted at the station restaurant alter
warning tbeni that lie would decapi
tafe any of them who took his seat.
lJuring his absence a smartly dressed
young Russian lady entered the car
and. despite the alarmed expostula
tions of its occupants, calmly appro
priated the seat When the noble re
turned he flew into a passion and ad
vanced threateningly with his curved
saber drawn. But the young woman
coolly covered him with a shining re
volver.
"Do you take us for a pack of cow
ardly mandarins?" she exclaimed, and
then, pointing to her feet, she remark
ed, "Here is your place, my hero."
The Manclm noble surrendered and
sat at her feet for the rest of the jour
uey.
Hugo and the Barber.
When Victor Hugo lived in Paris in
the Place Royale he used to be shaved
by a barber named Brassier. A friend
of the poet asked the barber one day
if be was busy. "1 hardly know which
way to turn," was the reply. "We
have to dress the hair of thirty ladies
for soirees and balls." And M. Bras
sier showed the list to his friend. A
few days after the friend returned and
inquired about the thirty ladies. "Ah,
monsieur," said the barber sadly, "I
was not able to attend half the num
ber, and 1 have lost many good cus
tomers through M. Victor Hugo." It
appears that the poet when about to
be shaved was suddenly inspired and
seized the first piece of paper he could
find to write a poem. Hugo hastily
left the shop with his unfinished
verses, on the back of which were the
names and addresses of the thirty la
dies. many of whom waited iu vain
for their coiffeur.
Used the Wrong Gender.
A Frenchman with an imperfect
knowledge of English was once called
upon for nil after dinner speech. He
struggled along manfully for a few
minutes, managing to turn one or two
good phrases. Finally he excused him
self from further effort by saying, "I
will no longer cockroach on your time."
An Englishman sitting next to him
at the table remarked; "Your speech
was dooced clever, bah Jove! But you
used the wrong word at the close,
dou't you know, l'ou should have said
'I will no longer heucroach upon your
time.'"
"I see," said the Frenchman. "I
used the wrong gender."—Exchange.
A Curious Stone.
A curious stone is the alexandrite.
It Is a dark green stone that is polish
ed, cut and set, very like a fine topaz
or amethyst, in large showy rings sur
rounded by diamonds. By the light of
day the alexandrite has no special
beauty save its fine luster, hut directly
a shaft of artificial light strikes the
dull stone deep gleams of red flash out
of the green, and under the gas or in
the firelight one ignorant of this va
gary would instantly pronounce It a
ruby.
Keeping Up Appearances.
Husband (suddenly waking up at
jead of night)— What in the world was
that noise? Wife (calmly)—lt's all
right, dear. The guests of the Money
bags' ball are just coming home, and
I slipped down and gave our frontdoor
a slam, so the neighbors would think
we were there.—New York Journal.
He Found It Was.
Judge (to prisoner!— You are charged
.'ith having seriously injured your
ife by inclosing her in a folding bed.
A'hat have you to say for yourself?
prisoner— Your honor. I wished to see
If it was possible to shut her up.
The Rescue.
The Major—What's this I hear, Da
vid. about your nearly saving a man
from drowning? David—l did save 'itn
from drownin', only the life buoy 'it
Mm on the 'end and killed 'im.— London
Tat lei-
Did Not See It Before.
Miss Eastside - That is a lovely
gown, but haven't I seen It before?
Miss Westsdde— No; 1 think uot. 1
have only worn it at a very few smart
affairs this Reason.
CAMERON COUNTY PRESS, THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 24 1910.
Burr's Be!f Control.
Aarou Burr was by nature and train
ing a man of extraordinary self con
trol. He allowed no circumstances to
throw him off Ills balance. An anec
dote told by ltufus Choate to Richard
H. Dana, recorded in Mr. Dana's ••Dia
ry," illustrates the callousness which
aided Hurt - so greatly in controlling
himself. Several years after the death
of Hamilton, killed by Burr in a duel.
Burr visited Boston, and Mr Devereits
of Salem paid him some attentions
The visitor was taken to the Boston
Atheneum, where, while the two men
were w; through the gallery ot
sculpture. Mr Devereux happened t"
catch siirhi of a Intst of Hamilton,
l'he thought (lashed across bis mind
that Burr nilxlit not care to be con
fronted with the of the featured
of the man he had slain, i'.ut no. Bun'
was undisturbed. He also espied the
bust. and. although Mr. Devereux had
distinctively turned away, lie walked
Up to it and said in a loud tone: "Ah!
Here Is Hamilton!" Then, passing hid
fitters along certain lines of the face,
he added. "There was the poetry!"
Hamilton's contemporaries gave him
credit for possessing a poetic mind.
When Beau Nash and Wesley Mel.
Beau Nash, though but an indlffer
ent churchgoer, not only went to hear
Whitefleld preach, but attended a serv
ice at Bath held by .John Wesley. The
incident Is related in Southey's "Life
of Wesley
"While he was preaching this re
markable personage entered the room,
came close to the preacher and de
manded of him by what authority he
was acting Wesley made answer,
'By that of Jesus Christ, conveyed to
me by the present archbishop of Can
terbury, when he laid Ills hands upon
me and said. "Take thou authority to
preach the gospel."' Nash then af
firmed that he was acting contrary to
the laws. 'Besides.' said he, 'your
preaching frightens people out of their
wits.' 'Sir." replied Wesley, 'did you
ever hear me preach?' 'No.' said the
master of ceremonies. 'How, then,
can you judge of what you never
heard?' Nash made answer. "By com
mon report. 'Sir.' said Wesley, 'is not
your name Nash? I dare not judge o(
you by common report. 1 think it not
enough to judge by.' "
Tr Save You Tims.
nave yr ever noticed that when
reading yon waste a certain amount
of time in turning from the end of
one line to the beginning of the next' 1
I»ng ago. when the world was not so
busy as now, columns were of a much
greater width. Since then they have
been narrowed more and more.
Of course in an hour's reading little
time is lost, but in a lifetime it is like
ly to be considerable. Realizing this,
some one has suggested that type
should be arranged as follows. You
read to the end of the line, drop the
eyes and read backward:
What a luxury
tuohtlw daer ot
the Inevitable
ta kcab repmacs
the end of each
s'ti woh eeS .enit
done?
The argument is that practice will
make perfect. Five minutes' practice
is usually found more than sufficient
for most people.—Pearson's.
The Power of Napoleon.
The desperate struggle to do some
thing worth while is the very thing
which draws out our reserve forces
and develops latent power, says Ori
son Swett Marden in Success Maga
zine. Without this struggle many peo
ple would never have discovered their
real selves. Napoleon was never so
resourceful, never so level headed, nev
er had that vigorous mental grasp,
was never able to make such powerful
combinations, as when lie was driven
to desperation. It was when all
bridges were burned behind him and
there was no possibility of retreat that
the possible Napoleon came to the res
cue. Napoleon said of bis great gen
eral Messena that he never showed
his mettle until be saw the wounded
and dead falling all around him in bat
tle. Then the lion in him was arous
ed, and he fought like a demon.
Enlightenment.
"Father," remarked Johnny after
deep thought, "suppose I should knock
this jug off the table and catch it, then
I wouldn't catch it, would I?"
"N-no, I suppose not," his fathe.
slowly said
"But," continued Johnny, still toying
with the jug, "if I should knock it off
and not catch it, then I would catch it
wouldn't IV"
"Yes, you would!" his father grimly
returned, this time with quick deci
sion.
Weil Connected.
The Maple—What is the oak so con
ceited about? The Elm—lie is the
original oak under which Washington
stopped in 1770. The Maple—But the
souvenir fiends have left him only a
blackened stump. The Elm—That's it
He has extensive branches in every
city and town in the country.—Puck.
A Hard Question.
Bobby—What was the hardest ques
tion the teacher asked you today?
Johnny—She asked me whether I'd
rather be licked with a ruler or a strap
—Chicago News.
Unromantic.
"Anything romantic about their wed
ding?"
"Not a thing She can cook, and he
has « job."—Kansas City Journal
A Fierce Threat.
Maid—Do you want a good beating.
Mastrr Jimmy, or do you not, because
If you don't behave yourself this min
ute you'll get both?
Animal Vanity.
In a small town hi Jersey there Is 8
corner gr- eery where you may buy
anything from a twenty foot laddet
to a pearl necklace. Adhesive plaster,
sauerkraut and toilet articles are alsr
sold, and In case of necessity you uia,\
get a hair cut or a horse shod in the
back yard Some time since a farmer
stopped in the store to get some hors<t
liniment to rub the rheumatism out ot
a sick cow, and two or three day?
later lie came back with a life sized
kick.
"Look here, Abuer," he complaining
ly remarked, "I wish ye would be a
leetle might more keerful how ye
throw yerself back o' thet counter
T'other day ye give me cologne In
stead o* boss liniment, and gosh dast
If 1 didn't put It on thet sick cow
afore I found out what It was."
"It didn't hurt her any, did it?"
broke in the groceryman.
"Can't say thet it did," answered
the farmer, "but ever sence she has
had thet sweet sruellin' stuff on her
she hain't done a denied thing but jes'
look at her reflection in ther duck pond
■n' sigh."—Philadelphia Telegraph.
Damascus, a Garden City.
Damascus is a touched
by the gre it desert Under Its roses
one feels le sands. Beside its trem
bling wati.H one dreams of the trem
bllng mirage. The cry of its muezzins
seems to echo from its mosque towers
to that most wonderful thing In nature
which Is "God without man." The
breath of the wastes passes among the
poplars as that Bedouin boy passed
among the merchants when he came
and when he went. In Damascus one
hears the two voices. And when one
looks from the sacred mountain upon
that city of dream, cradled among the
woods, one sees far off the tawny be
glnnlngs of that other magic which
looks out from the Bedouin's eyes.
And thouga perhaps with the pilgrims
from Samarkand one loves to rest be
side the fountains under the hedges
of roses, one is aware of the other
love, intercourse with which has made
Damascus an earthly paradise for
them and for you.—Robert Hicbens in
Century.
Handicapped.
Two old settlers sat smoking In their
cabin far away in the backwoods. N<>
woman's hand had ever desecrated
that sanctum, and grime reigned su
preme and triumphant. The conver
sation veered around from state poli
tics to cooking.
"Ya-ns." .aid the elder of the two,
with a drawl. "I did get one o' them
there cookbooks wunst, but I could
never do uothin' with it."
"llow was that?" inquired the other
"What, was the hitch?"
"Waal," was the answer, "every one
o' them receits begun in the same
way with the same words. Every one
o' 'em started off with 'take a clean
dish,' and 1 never got no farther."
And he slowly replaced his old black
clay pipe In his mouth and fell to
ruminating sadly on the narrow out
look ou the world of human beings as
displayed by authors of cookery books.
Origin of Kilts.
It will doubtless surprise many
Scotchmen to learn that the kilt as at
present worn is only a modern fancy
costume and is not of Scottish origin
at all. The honor of its invention is
due to two Englishmen—an army tailor
who accompanied General Wade's
forces to Scotland in 171!) and Thorn
as Rawlinson. overseer of some Iron
works iu Glengarry's country. For
more than a century previously, in
deed, the tartan plaid had been the
common garb of the highlanders, but
it was all in one piece, wound in folds
around the body, leaving the knees
bare. Prior to the adoption of the tar
tan, which probably took place about
the close of the fifteenth century, the
long, loose saffron colored skirt, the
real "garb of old Gaul," was the high
land dress.—London Mail.
Gift to the Ugly Man.
The practice of making such gifts
appears to have arisen in America and
is nearly obsolete. It therefore seems
to deserve a note. It goes back to
Harvard college (now Harvard unlver
sity) beyond 1794. In that year Wil
liam Biglow was the recipient of the
jackknife. In 1705 he handed it onto
Charles Prentiss, with these lines:
Item; C. I'. has my knife
JJurinK his natural college life,
That knife which ugliness inherits
And duo to his superior merits.
And when from Harvard he shall steer
I order him to leave it nere
That 't may from class to class descend
Tilt time and ugliness shall end.
—Notes and Queries.
Meaning of Cemetery.
It is not correct to say that "cemc
tery" means the "city of the dead."
The word is from the Greek "koime
terion," meaning sleeping place, not
the place of the dead. There is noth
ing in the etymology of the word to
warrant us in thinking that it was
originally intended to convey the idea
that the departed were really dead any
more than there is in the old Hebrew
term for cemetery, "bethalm," the
Imnse of the living.—Exchange.
Their Advantages.
Klobl.s-This musicalels a charity af-
I'nir fir the benefit of the poor. Slobbs
I <!• n't see just where the poor come
in !"lobbs— Well, they don't have to
l e present.—Philadelphia Record.
□ eduction.
Setitt— Is Jones married? Mott— I
guess not. I uever heard him blame
his wife for anything.—Boston Tran
script.
If a man look sharp and attentively
he shall see fortune, for. though she i*
blind, she is not Invisible.-Bacon.
Good Piano for Sale.
A Bradbury Piano (square) in good
condition.
Apply at PRBBE office. 37-tf.
Latest Popular Music.
Miss May Gould, teacher of piano
fort has received a full line of the lat
est and most popular sheet music. All
the popular airs. Popular and class
ical music. Prices reasonable.
44-tf.
Warning
All persons are hereby forbidden from
trespassing upon the property of this
Company without a permit irom this
office, or the Manager at the works-
KEYSTONE POWDER MFG. Co.
Emporium, Pa.. August Ist 1«03
<24-t.
ADVKRTISE the best thing you
have in stock at your store In the
next issue of this paper. 1-eatnre i(.
Push it strong. Then sit in your
s'ore and harvest the pecuniary
fruit of your wisdom. :: :: :: ::
(Cupyrlghl. I'JW, by W. N >J.>
Save Your Wife
By buying a REX WASHER,
the King of Washers, the washer
with the HIGH SPEED FLY
WHEEL AND FAST RE
VOLVING' DASHER. Any
child can work it. Stop in and
look at it.
We also have a full line ot
Mantles, Globes,
Burners, Chandeliers
and Light Hardware.
And if it is Plumbing, Heat
ing or Tinning, call on us.
DININNY, BURNSIDE&Co
Broad St., Emporium, Pa.
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OTTEiEja
Coughs, Colds,
©ROUP,
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This remedy can always be depended upon and
Is pleasant to take. It contains no opium or
other harmful drug and may be given as confi
dently to a baby as to an adult
Price 25 cents, large size SO cents,
———w—wumi— i ■■■ ii ■ ii n
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|H. S, LLOYD)
| The First Requisite
I in letter writing is that the paper
E I® it wk M Your stationary should reflect ■
E JA\ &{M\ JfSI your taste, character and refine
m~ VBHU mont, and convey your personal
pp gg The Eaton, Crane Pike Writing
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Come in and let us show you our line of the justly popular EATON
CRANE & PIKE papers.
H. S. LLOYD, Masonic Block
Roof Slating
I 8m especially prepared to
Contract for Slating
IBy th square or job. As to my work
manship, I refer, by permission,
to the work recently complied
for tbe Hon. B. W. Green.
GEORGE A. WRIGHT.
Get My Prices Before You
Use Shingles
Foley's
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Remedy
Cures Backache, Kidney and
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strengthens the kidneys so they
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j Commence taking Foley's
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avoid Bright's Disease or Dia
betes. 50. and SI.OO bottles.
j £ W'u pii)][.p;ly
< Send model, sketch or photo of in volition for <'
< free report on patentability. For free book,
HUMPHREYS'
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i"For Every Living Thing on the
Farm." Horses, Cattle, Sheep,
Hogs, Dogs, Poultry.
I A. A. For FKVERH, Milk Fever, Luna Fever.
B. 11. For SPRAINS, LameneHu, H lirumutiam.
C. C. For SOKE Throat, Epizootic, Distemper.
D. ». For WORMS, Bota, Grubs.
j E. B. For COt'GHS, Colds, Influenza.
F. F. For COLIC, Bellynrhe, Diarrhea,
Prevents MISCARRIAGE.
H. 11. For KIDNEY auil Bladder disorder*.
I, I. For BKIN DISEASES, Mange, Bruptloni.
J.K.For BAD CONDITION, Indigestion.
| At druggists or sent prepaid
[ on receipt of price. 60 ets. each.
j
i
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HUMPHREYS' HOMEO. MEDICINE CO. Corner
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flidway between Broad Street
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on Filbert Street.
European, SI.OO per day and up
American, $2.50 per day and up
The only moderate priced hotel of repu
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