TO FIND FAULT. People Are Sometimes Paid For That Express Purpose. You have no Idea how many things are wrong in a big business until you are paid to look for them, writes Ge lett Burgess in Collier's. There were the clocks, for 011 c thing, when I first began. The girls wore too many rats Iu their hair, there was grease on the elevator (Joors. expensive hats were dumped one on another, the ventila tion was bad. the boxes on the shelves shewed from the street thrc.igh the show windows and about a thousand other things. Then Spindelheliu sold teapots just like our eighteen cent ones l'or 14 cents, and for a coucern like Smith & Co. to be undersold is fatal. There's really nothing that so enrages Mr. Smith; also Rubinstein's window dresser has beaten ours, too, at times. Down it goes in my little report. Wouldn't any woman love my .lob. Yes, It's fun to be paid for being a misanthrope, but ifs hard work too. At 9 o'clock I begin my promenade through the store—downstairs, up stairs, basement, attic and annex. If « girl at the counter has dirty finger nails or too wide a pompadour to ault me I stop and talk pleasantly, buy 9 cants' worth of edging and so get her number from the sales slip. She nev er knows anything about it till her superintendent gives her a scolding the next day. I have eyes like a hawk and a nose like a bound and ears like a small boy under the sofa when a young man's calling on big sister. In ten minutes 1 have spotted the dust In the corner of the aisle, a girl who wears brass bracelets, a porter who is not attending to his duty, a badly ar ranged counter, an error in spelling on a placard, two store detectives loaf ing on their job and a hideous com bination of colors in the front window. I goto the ladies' room and make a note of these things surreptitiously. • I don't dare go there too often, though, for fear I'll be identified, so sometimes I run back to my office, two blocks away. So it goes till about 4 o'clock, hither and thither, nigh and yon. look ing for trouble. It doesn't do a clerk any good to be uncivil to me, 1 can tell you, or to make me wait too long for my change, but I try to be fair, and il 1 bud a particularly willing and considerate sales person down that name goes iu my report too. You might suppose that there'd be good graft in that: but, of course, I keep my position only so loug as the head of the firm has absolute confidence in m.v integrity. The funny part of it is that the more 1 complain the better he likes it. I'm like the opposition party in congress. I'm never satisfied. When 1 am I'll have to look for an other position. At 4 o'clock I go back to my little ofPce and dictate my report from my notes to a stenographer, and when it's typewritten 1 send it to the head of tbe firm. When "Fluck" Was Slang. The word "pluck" affords an in stance of the way iu which slang words iu the course of time become adopted into current English. We now meet with "pluck" apd "plucky" as the recognized equivalents of "cour age" and "courageous." An entry in Sir Walter Scott's ".TourtßfcT shows that in 1527 the word had not yet lost its low character. lie says (volume 2, page 30). "Want of that article black guardly called pluck." Its origin is obvious. From early times the heart has been popularly regarded as the seat of courage. Now, when a butcher lays open a carcass he divides the great vessels of the heart, cuts through the windpipe and then plucks out together the united heart and lungs—lights, he calls them— and he terms the united mass "the pluck."— London Notes aud Queries. Henry Ward Beecher's Wit. On one occasion as Mr. Beecher was in the midst of an impassioned speech some (ttie attempted to interrupt him by suddenly crowing like a cock. The orator, however, was equal to the oc casion. He stopped, listened till the crowing ceased and then, with a look of surprise pulled out his watch. "Morning already!" he said. "My watch is only at 10. Hut there can be no mistake about it. The instincts of the lower animals are infallible." There was a roar of laughter. The "lower animals" in the gallery collaps ed, and Mr. Beecher was able to re sume as if nothing had occurred. French Convicts. Convicts who are sent to the French penal colony in French Guiana are punished in exactly inverse ratio to their crimes. The murderers and the most dangerous convicts arc sent to the island of Salvation, where they lead lazy and healthy lives, but the men convicted of lesser offenses work aud die iD a terrible climate on the coast. In tbe settlement of St. Jean <3e Maronl the mortality is from 40 to GO per cent. The average life of a convict is two years. Which Was It? "Are we slaves or are we free men?" thundered the orator. "1 pause for a reply." "Some of us ure married," came the answer from the last row of seats.— New York Sun. An Opportunity. Judge— Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth? Fair Witness —lt will be just perfectly lovely If you really have the time to listen.— Harper's Bazar. "A little of this goes a long way," said the aeronaut as he flicked the ash /rom his plgar.—Harvard Lampoon. SHOE SIZES. How the Standard of Measurement Was nblished. It Is most eued the door just a little bit. "W'y, no." answered tbe ragged way farer. "I've clean forgot how to be j hungry. But I'm out and out lonely.' "Lonely!" "Yes. You see. 1 hain't had nothing j to eat for so long that I've got so thlr. I can't cast no sbuddor. and you ain't no idea what company a man's shad der is to him white he is travelin' along the road." Considerate. Muggins Is not handsome, and he knows It. When his first baby born he ask«*l. "Does it look like me?* Of eourse they reeled In the sUlrma tive. "Well," said he, with a sigh, "break it to my wife gently."—Lend on Tit- B4ta. CAMERON COUNTY PRESS, THURSDAY, DECEMBER 16, 1909. TIE IBP CAME BUCK Incident In the Career of an 0! Time Opera Manager, A SURPRISE FOR MARETZEK It Came at a Time When Max W Broke and the Sheriff Had Uevij. Upon All His Stage Properties —Mms Maretzek's Thanks to tho Carpenter. In the old days In Now York city, before there was a Metropolitan or 1 Manhattan Opera House and when tin center of the theatrical world w:i> around Fourteenth street. Max Maret zek and Strakosch were prominent at the old Academy of Music. There was a keen rivalry between them. Stra kosch had Nllsson, and Maretzek was exploiting Di Murska. By some error of dates both were booked for New York at the same time. Strakosch was at the Academy and Maretzek. having closed a pooi season elsewhere, had halted In New York before going to Philadelphia and secured a week at tbe Lyceum theater on Fourteenth street. There were strong bills at both places. Each man ager had his friends, and the bill posters had a busy time of It A round of bills for one company was no sooner posted than the rival billposter cov ered up the poster with the rival com pany's sheets. At last, for the matinee on Satur day. bills at both houses were sudden ly changed, every vacant fence place plastered over quickly, and with a pelting storm in the morning the man agers began to put out "paper" to Oil the houses. Alfred Joel was the busi ness man for Maretzek and an adept at "papering" when necessary. With a house packed from parquet to gal lery Joel had counted the boxes, found only SIOO iu the house and announced it to Max when the curtain fell be tween the acts. This was serious to Max. The ever ready money lender who had "put up for him" had a lien on the box office, a sheriff's officer was in waiting on tin stage, and it was a question of re plevin before the properties and cos tumes could be liberated to follow the company to Philadelphia early next morning. "Well. Alfred," quietly said Max, "I guess I'm used to trouble. But there Is a good, big house anyway!" Then, turning to his wife, who was the harp ist of the orchestra, he clasped both her hands, kissed her and remarked: "Let your fingers do their best. 1 want to bear you play. It does my heart good, you know, even when there's trouble." There was bustling after the per formance. Legal talent was at a pre mium, creditors were obdurate, every thing that was supposed to be Maret zek's was temporarily In "hock," and Mme. Maretzek in tears, with longing looks at the harp she valued. The scene of negotiations was trans ferred to the greenroom Just as the of ficers making the levy were searching for more, and when their backs were turned the old stage carpenter hurried Mme. Maretzek away, then called her back again five minutes after and pointed to the orchestra. The harp had disappeared. Clearing out everything on Sunday morning, while the boxes of properties were be ing taken away. Max and his wife stood in the center of the darkened stage. Both were crying. The instru ment they valued most had been taken from them. Other things had been liberated, but no harp, and with a scene of grief that no others than themselves could have appreciated they were silent. Then Old Man (Guernsey stood be tween them and waved his hand above them Into space. There were a creak ing of pulley wheels, an injunction from tbe carpenter to "look out for your heads," and. lowered from above, came Mme. Maretzek's harp, landing on the stage between them. "Now you've got it again, get it away quick!" said Guernsey. "Stop crying and be thankful. That's all." He moved off without waiting for thanks, and a pathetic scene with Max and his wife closed the incident. To them the harp was as a part of them selves. To lose it was more than a misfortune, aud in a broken voice tbe lady called the carpenter back to her. "Please let the harp thank you," said she, "and listen. It will speak with my hands on this Suuday morn ing." She placed herself beside it. seated on a box. and. with a smile that chased away tears, gave for a moment or two. as only she could give It, the air of the doxology, "Praise God, From Whom All Blessings Flow."— Vew York Times. Trouble Ahead. A north country corouer is said to be waiting the suicide of a local poet who wrote about clasping "the two tremu lous hands" of his ladylove, bat whioh the printer made to read "the two tre mendous hands."—London Mall. A Queer Question. Small Haiold (at the zoo) What la that funny looking bird, papa? Papa —That Is a bald eagle, Harold. Bmall Harold—How long does an eagle have to be married before he gets bald, papa?— Chicago News. Usually Has To. "Say. paw. what is a genius?" "A genius Ik h man who can do hla own washing, sewing and cooking, my boy."—Louisville Courier-Journal. Weak men never yield at the proper tlr.i« Latin. ! TWO UGLY ANIMALS. Those Big Pigs, the Rhinoceros and the Hippopotamus. THEY ARE HARD TO CAPTURE. Getting Away With One of the Colossal Brutes Makes the Work of Trapping the Big Felines Seem Like Child's Play—Methods of the Hunters. 1 Trapping the big felines is child's play compared with the work of cap- I Hiring those lumbering, colossal ani , inals of the "big pig" family, the rbi noccros and the hippopotamus. 100 stupid to tame or to break to a . baiter and too heavy to transport through hundreds of miles of wilder , uess, it would take a mau half a life time to bring one of these five to six thousand pound creatures out of a jun gle Into clvillzatlou. Therefore the expert's only chance is to find a cow with a calf and to capture tbe young one. Compared with the alert, grim ex terior of tbe felines, there la little In the appearance of a phlegmatic, pon derous pig like a rhinoceros to Indicate Its r®al ferociousness. There Is bard ly a wild animal In existence which Is more dangerous than this rarest of all our menagerie captives. Awkward as the great creature appears when hi real, once aroused it dashes through the densest thicket with tbe Irresisti ble speed of an express tra'iu. To catch a rhinoceros the trapper proceeds with preparations much as would an explorer bound for a two or three year expedition iu the interin; of an unexplored continent, for tin difficulty confronting him is the three fold one of first penetrating a thou sand or more miles into the interior, second, of finding not only :i rhhtocc ros. but a rhinoceros cow with a calf old enough to capture, and. lastly, of transporting his prize across hills aud mountains and plains, over rivers anil ravines, across swamps and through forests to civilization. Skirting swamps and rivers, the men are ever on the lookout for the deep, round spoors, like a pie plate driven into the mud. for iu this wet ground the rhinoceros loves to wallow. Ktv quently five or six months elapse lie fore the tracks of a cow and a calf are picked up. Noiseless aud from well to leeward, the trapper aud his men gradually steal nearer uutil the cow and tin calf are inclosed in a circle. From ahead, out of the maze of cane and creeper, sounds the uneasy stamping of tbe cow. With a half snort, half grunt, iu an instant the rhinoceros is all attention. Head raised and nostrils sniffing, she searches the air steadily At sight of one of the savages the cow dashes with the speed of a race horse at the man. charging tbe human decoy, and at that instant the trapper's rifle is heard, and her furious charge is over, provided the bullet reaches the heart by striking just behind the left foreleg—tbe only vulnerable point in tbe inch thick armor with which the beast is clad. Now and then it happens that the trapper fails to kill iu time—his gun may miss Ore, Intervening trees may interfere or the marksman may miss hia aim. Then the life of the decoy depends upon his own agility. To run to one side before the rhinoceros is al most on lop of him would be fatal, for the swift brute would overtake him with a few bounds. His only hope is to wait uutil the deadly horn is almost at his feet and then, with the swift ness of a mongoose dodging the aim of a cobra, to leap 10 one side while the pouderous creature, unable to turn short iu time, dashes onward under its own'impetus. Twice, three times, a clever native hunter will dodge in this way, giving tbe trapper ample time to bring down the rhinoceros. Then comes the tracking of the frightened calf, which has tied at the first sign of trouble, aud soon It Is pushed, prodded and shoved up a bridge of log skids into a cage of the bullock curt. But even more dangerous is the trap ping of the hippopotamus, for, al though in itself the "rhino" is a more savage antagonist than the "river horse," tbe trapper hunts the former on land and brings down at a safe dis tance. whereas in the case of the hip popotamus he must fight in the same primitive fashion that savages have used for ages. Hand to maw. as it were, he must engage this two ton monster while standing in the bow of a frail canoe, for tbe hippopotamus, as its name, tbe "river horse," means, is a land and water animal and must be harpooned and brought ashore be fore it expires, otherwise it would sink at once to the bottom of the river, the coveted calf escaping among the other hippopotamuses Instead of following ' the stricken cow to shore, so that the | youngster may be caught.-A. W I Itolker In Si. Nicholas. | The Blue Danube. The l>anul»e still retains its ancient | splendors. The Rhine is the river of j vine clad, sunny hills, ruined castles 1 011 rugged crags, mediaeval hlstor> j and modern glory In war and in peace, j a river bright as the warble of a bird in the wood. The Danube bills carry Immense, almost untouched, forests, higher and grander than the heights of the l.'hliie In the midst of this rich, elet p green verdure lonely white moun tains break In on the eye. There are many wayside chapels, too, on the banks. In solemn, awesome, majestic beauty the Danube far excelß the cheery, pretty Ithiue. and It must be called a pity that so few American travelers take a lour on this inde scribably superb rivsr—Omaha Bee. EASILY MANAGED. The Clever Scheme Evolved by the Clock Winder. The contract for keeping the church and town hnll clocks In order was giv- | en to a new man. Unfortunately from j the start he experienced a difficulty in ■ getting the flocks to strike at the same | time. At last the district council re- \ ! quested an interview with the watch- ' J maker. "You are not so successful with the 112 clocks as your predecessor," he was told. "It is very misleading to have one clock striking three or four min- j utcs after the other. Before you took them in hand we could hardly tell the two were striking. Surely you are as competent?" "Every workman has his own meth- ! ods, gentlemen," replied the watch- ! maker, "and mine ain't the same as j H.'s were." "I'm decidedly of the opinion that it 1 would be for the general good if they ! were," remarked one of the councilors. "Very well, sir. In future they shall be," came the reply. "I happened to write to him last week about tbe trou ble I had with the clocks, and—but perhaps," he added as be produced a letter and handed It to tbe chairman, "you'd llko to see what he said." "Dear sir," ran tbe letter—"about thera clocks. When you get to know what a cantankerous lot of busybodles the council consists of you'll do the same as I did for fifteen years—forget to wind up the striker of the town hall clock, and the blooming jackasses won't be able to tell that both clocks ain't striking together!"— London Tlt- Blta. Ancient Sacrifices. Many Roman and Greek epicures were very foud of dog flesh. Before Christianity was established among the Danes on every ninth year ninety- j nine dogs were sacrificed. In Sweden each ninth day ninety-nine dogs were j destroyed. But later on dogs were not j thought good enough, every ninth ( year ninety-nine human beings were immolated, the sons of the reigning I tyrant among the rest, in order that ; the life of the monarch might be pro- j longed. A Far Sighted Man. "Women vote! Never, sir, with my | consent!" "Why not?" "What! And have my wife losing ; thirty dollar hats to other women on j the election!"— Boston Transcript. Particular. "He's a very particular man." "Yes. If the doctor told him that he was going to die he would want to telephone ahead for a good room."— New York Press. Science Now and Then. In the earliest ages science was poetry, as in the latter poetry has be come science.—Lowell. 1= Sugar Bowl | OPPOSITE HEILMAN'S HARDWARE STORE. EMPORIUM, PA. The best place in Cameron Caunty to Kjj gg purchase eg HE HOME-MADE CANDIES |=J Ml NUTS, FIG-S, DATES,Etc. M Fruits of all kinds for Christmas Bananas, Naval Oranges, ren Florida Oranges, Lemons, TO === Malaga Grapes, = M Tangerines, G-rape Fruit. E9 gg gg New Dates 3 lbs for 25c W H&P "New Figs, 15c alb Vfii? mSpecial Sale Until New Year's Day Only g| tTri Commencing: Dec. 20. nn NOTE THE PRICES—Best Peanut Brittle, Cocoa &£[ Brittle, all varities of Taffy, 3 lbs for L'oc; Fresh Xuias "~™ 1 " Candies fresh and pure daily. We have a fine line o * nuts of every variety. rS/i H New Mixed Nuts, Walnuts per lb ICc and 20c || Mj Fresh Roasted and Salted Peanuts 15c 111. M Ml : |1 W\ LOOSE HOLLY; HOLLY WREATHS g| We deliver tn jmv part nf town Pln»n«