The Pyrophore. A living light, called the pyrophore, makes illumination cheap and conven ient In Brazil. The pyrophore Is a monster firefly, an inch and a half long. With one ii is possible to read fine print, and tim e will a room. The Brazilian pea int. when he trav erses by night the perilous forest paths of his country, fastens to each shoe a pyrophore. Thus illuminated, he h is no dit"< r.lty i:i avoiding poison ous : unices, pi.; • ; id wild boast:;. The Brazilian coquette fastens in her hair or her corsage a pyrophore in cased in white tulle. The effect Is as of a great luminous pearl or opal. When a pyrophore's goes out it is not necessary to till him up with • •11. to drop a coin in him or to throw him . way. hut a inoinci: 's du-.kiug in roid water su noes . hereafter hi.s three little I. minis, one on the breast and two on the back, emit a sain as bright a "radiance as ever The pyro phore. as ail nature students know, is cnlied vulgarly • tango. but scientific ally the name is Coleopter serricorn sterniose elaterides. Cincinnati Kn (luirer. in the Presence of Death. Some years ago a Swansea vessel was caught In a terrible gale. says an English pa pi.':*. The eap ain had his wife on board, and when the wind was still rising he told her togo down b - low and sleep, for all was well. lie re mained on the bridge tiil the mate tame up and said: "We've done all v,e can Hadn't you letter tell the chaps to get '.t the boats?" "Yes, y -s. my l td, if you think so," said t! ■ eapt '.in. who knew the only choke left was wheth I togo down with the ship or in ak; iall l>ont. whi 'li couldn't live ten t: 'eontls in that sea. The engineer- came up with the news that the fires were all out. "Very well, my lads," said the cap tain quietly "Save your elves if you can." "Won't you fetch the wife on deck, sir?" asked one of the men. "X«." was the calm reply. "Let her sleep, poor girl! lam going down to have a smoke." And, smoking by the bedside of his sleeping wife, he went down with the ship. A Man of Resources. A young man genial of face and cor rect in attire arose from his seat in a well patronized cafe an evening or two ago, raised high a dollar bill and addressed those present. "Gentlemen," he said, "1 have here a dollar bill. It is a good bill, opeti to inspection by all. 1 want to rutiie it off, and 1 will esteem it a favor if fif teen gentlemen will come in. Ten cents a chance—lo cents for a dollar bill. It's dirt cheat). Who will come in, please? I'll esteem it a favor, as I said, and there's the chance for a real bargain." Fifteen men good naturedly chipped in 10 cents each, drew small squares of paper from a hat, and the winner pocketed the bill, with a laugh. "Thank you, gentlemen," said the rafiler, with a Chesterlieldlan how. "That dollar was of no use to nie. But now that I've sold it for a dollar and a half I have my car fare home. Thank you. Good night."—New York Globe. Old College Ways. Students at St. Andrews university two centuries ago paid nothing for their rooms, but i'll 10s. per quarter en abled them to dine at the high table. For £5 lis. id. poorer men could get through the whole session—just six months. Breakfast was served at 7 a. m.and consisted of an oatmeal loaf and half a pint of beer. For supper each had half a twopenny loaf and a pint of beer At the high table poul try, broth and beef were served, and at the second a plentiful supply of broth and beef. Herrings and floun ders sometimes graced the board. Beer there was in abundance, and the colleges in those good old days had their brew house, a perquisite of the porter, who was permitted to sell ale to the students.—London Antiquary. Just a Mistake. During one of the banquets of the church congress In London a certain bishop had as his left hand companion a clergyman who was completely bald. During dessert the baldheaded vicar dropped his napkin and stooped to pick it up. At this moment the bishop, who was talking to his right hand neighbor, felt a slight touch on his left arm. Me turned and, beholding the vicar's pate on a level with his el bow, said: "No, thank you, no melon. I will take some pineapple." Line Carrying Rockets. The first line carrying rockets were Invented in 1820 by an Englishman named Trengrouse and were soon after adopted by the Massachusetts Humane society for use at its stations, where they proved very successful, though today brass cannons are ex clusively used for throwing lines to wrecks. Pretty Weary. Weary (lying under apple tree)- Say, mister, kin I have one of dem apples? Fanner—Why, them apples won't be ripe for four months yit. Weary—Oh, dat's all right I ain't in no hurry. I'll wait.—Life. Then He Was Fired. Father—l cannot give you my dangh ter, my dear sir. I am mighty par ticular in such things. Suitor—Oh. pshaw! Now, 1 am not In the least so.—Meggendorfer Blatter. Different Ways. Hewitt—l bare been pinched for money lately Jcwitt— Well, women hare different ways of petting it. My wife kisses me when she want* any. Why Tailors Sit Crosslegged. A tailor making a dress coat sat crosslegged on a table, like a Turk. "Why do tailors always vvur'.; in that uncomfortable posi; i.Masked a vis itor. "Women's tailors don't. Only men's do," was the reply. "And for men's tailors it is tin; uiost comfortable and the most convenient position possible. You see, the sewing on men's clothes i.-. very line. The work must be held no close to the eyes. Well, in this position 1 lean the work ou my elevat ed knees, and thus it is nearer my eyes, while at the same time my back remains straight. An;.!. ::d, the po : '.ion is a tine one. It keeps the back straight and the ch.es. > a. the knees make a table close up to tile face, and eye strain is avoided. "Tailors for women sit ou ehahs. For one thing, the sewi. o:i women's clothes is less fine than oa men's. For another, the woman's tailor has to get up every few minutes togo to the manikin, and all that rising, if lie >...t crosslegged on the floor, would tire : him too niueh in the day's run."—New | York Press. No Suffering Too Great. Not long since a young woman suf fering with an itif urable disease ap plied * >r admission to :: hospital in a I southern city. "I know 1 must die." she said simply ! to the attendant physi: iati, "but do something to keep <> alive for a Utile while for my ! :!»<• •' •«';«. In a few years they will not :•- d : .e so much." Her one ehanee lay in : t very pain ful operation. I't her heart was so weak that the sur n a red not nd minister an anaestheiic. Very gently he explained t!:e si thai the op ra tion would make but a year's differ ence at most; it seen < d hardly worth while to suffer so much for so brief a respite; she would best go home and —wait. But the little woman shook her head. With mother love shining in her eyes, she allowed herself to be strapped upon the operating table and there willingly underwent the torture of the knife that gave her a few months to devote to her precious babies.—Deline ator. Marlborough House. Marlborough House is one of the numerous buildings of Sir Christopher Wren. It was built at a cost of £44,- 000, the whole of which was defrayed by the duke. Here the great duchess lived till her death in 1714, waging an incessant warfare upon the society of her lime. Ilere, too. rhe received a deputation of the lord mayor and sher iffs of London while still in bed, an incident which was satirized by Gay: Acquainted with tlie world am! quite well bred, Drusa receives her visitants In bed. In the earlier years of the nineteenth century Marlborough House was rent ed by Leopold, king of the Belgians. It was afterward bestowed by the crown upon Queen Adelaide, the dow ager of William IV.—London Chron icle. The Savage Pike. There are several instances on rec ord of bathers being attacked by pike, and an old writer, Cl'ull, tells of a giant pike inside which was found the body of tin infant. Not long ago a good sized retriever which was swim ming in the Thames just above Cldtty's boathouse at ltichmond was tackled by a pike, which bit one of its hind legs so badly as to sever an artery. It was another Thames pike which at tacked that well known naturalist and fisherman, Mr. CliolmoudeleyT'ennel! lie had actually landed the fish, when it sprang from the ground and fixed all its shai'p teeth into bis leg just above the knee. The creature hung so fiercely to its hold that a stick had to be used to pry its jaws apart.—Cham bers' Journal. Force of Habit. In reward of faithful political serv ice an ambitious saloon keeper was ap pointed police magistrate. "What's the charge agin this man?" he inquired when the first case was called. "Drunk, yer honor," said the police man. The newly made magistrate frowned upon the trembling defendant. "Guilty or not guilty?" he demanded. "Sure, sir," faltered the accused, "1 never drink a drop." "Have a cigar, then," urged his hon or persuasively, as he absently polish ed the top of the judicial desk with his pocket handkerchief.—Everybody's. A Want. "I have here a device," said the in ventor, "to Increase the speed of motor cars." The patent attorney frowned and shook his head. "But what we really want." said he, "is a device to increase the speci of the pedestrians who have to dodge them."—Exchange. And Catches Him. "Man," declared the old fashione preacher, "is a worm." "And," said a man who had beet married three times and who vv-i occupying a small space in a rea pew, "woman is the early bird."—Clr. cago Record-Herald. An Impossible Man. "Why did you marry me?" "Because I thought you were differ ent from other men." "And now you want a divorce be cause you were mistaken?" "No; because I was right."— ('leve land Lender I believe in laughter, in love, la faith, In nil distant hopes that lure u on.—Groves. CAMERON COUNTY PRKSS, THURSDAY, MAY 13, 1909 Servant Girls in Defoe's Day. It is evident from the comfhent be low, found In "Gleanings After Time," that there is nothing new to lie said on the servant question: Defoe, castigating the extravagances of liis time, fell foul of the downward spread of fashion, liis theme was a familiar one—the heinousuess of a servant girl's attempt to imitate her mistress' costume. "Her neat leathern shoes," Defoe's amusing indictment rims, "are now transformed into luted ones with high heels, her yarn stockings are turned into the woolen ones with silk clocks, and her high wooden pattens are kick ed away lor leathern clogs. She must have a hoop, too, as well as her mis | tress, and her poor Wnsey woolsey pet tknat Is changed into a good silk one, | four or five yards ivide at the least. Not to carry the description further, in short, plain country Joan is now turned into a tine city madam, can • drink tea, take snuff and carry herself j as high as the best." Vivisecting Thieves. Breaking into houses where funerals j have just taken place and plundering | them is spoken of by the Berliner I Tageblalt as a trick of the thieves of i that <-ity. While this may be a now | form if criminality in Berlin, says the ! writer, it is really only an imitation of j iin incident described by Dion Cassius j as having taken place 2,500 years be j fore Christ. Tho historian says that j when the consort of the emperor was j laid away in the mausoleum at ] Memphis :t band of Greek marauders I entered tho deserted palace of the | pharaoii and took all the precious j stones and metals and the women j slaves and reached t'le banks of the Red sea with their plunder. Only two ! of the band were captured, and they | were turned over by tlie ruler to the ! wise men, by whom they were vivi sected in the interest of science. No matter how much the robbers of tho modern houses of mourning may be despised, they need not fear that form of punishment. Tlia Newsboy. Do you see the newsboy? You can hear the newsboy a long J time before you can see him. What does the newsboy say? j It doesn't matter what the newsboy j says. You know he is the newsboy because he has the papers to prove it. What has tho newsboy concealed in his hand? The newsboy has a cigarette butt In his hand. lie saw it smoking in.the ! gutter and was afraid it would set i lire to the street, so he picked it up. Good little newsboy, you will be a | tire chief soma day! Did ever you try a trick ou the I newsboy? Give him a nickel some time for your | paper and tell him to keep tlie change, j Ten chances to one he will do it. Docs the newsboy never sleep? Oh, yes, the newsboy sleeps, but never on bis job. I*. S. —Dots of people can learn some tiling from the newsboy.—Boston Iler nM. Hungry Thespians. They looked like actors, or, rather, | they looked as if they would have been ! actors If some manager with more | than the usual discernment would rec | ognize their ability and give tliein a ; job, says the Stroller in the Portland | (Me.) Express. Just now they were | staring through the window of a pop ' ular priced restaurant in Congress J street, absorbed in the unerring accu racy of the chef as the griddiecakes j were flipped into the air by hint, only I to fall gracefully back into the grease mark they had just quitted. The tall | man jingled some keys in liis pocket, ; and the little one pulled his belt an i other notch. j "Lord!" said the big one. "I'm hnn • gry enough to eat my own words." "I'm In just as bad," complained the | little one. "I feel as though I could I bolt a front door." j Animals and Electricity. Man has much greater power of electrical resistance or much less sus | ceptibility than many other animals. I A leech placed upon a copper plate I which rests upon a larger plate of | zinc is unable to crawl off on account | of the feeble electric action excited I by tlie contact of the metals. Horses | are troubled by slight differences of potential. An ox treated for rheuma tism witli electricity succumbed to a current absolutely inoffensive toman. Exactly. Dlttle Mrs. Hunter had so many jokes about the brides who couldn't market successfully that she made up her mind that the first re quest she made of the inarketman would show her to be a sophisticated housewife. "Send me, please," she said, "two French chops and one hun dred green peas." The Timidity. j Her Mother—Mabel, dear, do you ever feel timid about asking your hus | band for money? Tiie Bride—No, indeed, mamma, but j lie seems to bo rather timid about giv | ing it to me.—Exchange. Pretty Thin. "Thin!" repeated the man who was j talking about a mutual acquaintance, i "Well, lie's so thin that when he eats | macaroni he can only swallow it one I piece at a time!" Tho Fun of It. Mother —Did you enjoy your lea , cream soda. Dickie? Dickie—Yes, ma; there were seven j other boys lookln' through the window j at me. | What is not necessary Is dear at a penny.—Cato. Bullying the Hens. Years spent In providing food for boarders, in watching tliem cat it and in hearing them comment 011 it had ac customed Mrs. Orne to all sorts of complaints, reasonable and otherwise. She was a pleasant woman and tried to anticipate the objector's objections and to smooth his feelings us speedily as might be. Once in awhile her readiness with a soft answer was a trifle too quick. It was at breakfast, and Mr. Smith, who, since his attack of typhoid, had been consuming vast quantities of eggs, looked up from his fourth with a slightly offended air. "I wish," lie said from the opposite end of the table, "that these hens could lie got to lay their eggs fresh!" "The last two words only caught Mrs. Orne's ear. "I know it," she said emphatically, "and I think just the way you do about it. It seems some how as if it couldn't be done any more Years ago, before Mr. Orne died, it wasn't like this at all. Then you could make them give you fresh ones." —Youth's Companion. A Quaint Cookbook. Amid the horrors of the siege of I'aris in 1871 one Cadol found time to issue a book of recipes for the prepara tion of the strange fare to which the city was reduted. "Our stomachs are turned into natural history museums," lie wrote, "but we must make the best c J circumstances and render our food as palatable as we can." So house wives were instructed how to disguise the flesh of dogs, horses, asses, rats and mice and were shown that, despite the old adage, one can make an omelet without breaking egg's. The recipe for an egglcss omelet was as follows: "Soak an army biscuit in sugared wa ter flavored with orange flower, chop iincly and spread 011 a hot dish, pow der well with sugar and then pour over and set light to a liberal helping of rum." With eggs at §0 a dozen and rum at but little more than its normal price, this palatable imitation of an "omelette au rliurn" became a most popular dish. Professional Advice. The irate victim blustered into the office of the secondhand automobile dealer. "Look here, sir," he thundered, "the automobile you sold me yesterday won't run. One of the cylinders is cracked, the spark plug is badly con nected, the steering gear is loose, one wheel is wabbly, and—and"— "Hold on a minute," the dealer inter posed. "Did I sell you a machine yes terday?" "You certainly did." "And you paid me for it?" "Of course I did!" was the emphatic response. "Then the machine belongs to you. doesn't It?" "Why, to be sure it does." "Well, that being the case, I'd advise you not to amble through tiie city shouting about its defects. If you do, I'd like to know how you expect to soli it."—Lippincott's. Birthdays and Health. For several years 1 have noticed that in a period of from about three to two weeks preceding the anniversary of my birth I have had a feeling of returning vigor, a renewal of vitality sueli as I have not experienced at any other time of the year. This has last ed for from two to eight days, but has always ceased some days before the anniversary: hence it has occurred to me that there may be sosne connection between the approach or recurrence of one's birth date and the maintenance of one's health.—London Graphic. A Modern Miracle. "I caused the dumb to speak today." "llow was that?" "I was stopped in the street by a beggar with a 'I Am Deaf and Dumb' placard on his breast, and when I ex pressed the opinion that he was an impostor be immediately recovered his speech and in vigorous Anglo-Saxon requested me togo to —er —the place that the new theology tells us doesn't exist and mind my own business and he'd mind his!"— New York Times. A Useless Invention. "This new collection box," argued the inventor, "has some unique advan tages. When you drop in a quarter or more it doesn't make a sound. Drop in a dime and it tinkles a bell, a nickel blows a whistle, and a penny fires a shot. And when you don't drop in anything the box takes your picture." "No, thanks," said the pastor wea rily; "I already have pictures of my entire congregation."—Louisville Her ald. How It Is Done. "I don't see how you can write so many"— "Alleged witticisms?" interrupted the press humorist "Oh, 1 get au idea occasionally, and every idea is good for several hundred jokes."—Louisville Courier-J ou rnal. Nerve. Heiress—The count states in his mad love letter that he will call and ends up by saying, "I beg to- remain for ever, Count Ilickoff." Irate Father— Itemain forever? What does he think this is—a charity hotel? —Chicago News. Isn't It True? Sirs. Baker—George is going off to get strong. I think lie ought to stay a fortnight, but he says 110, only half that time. Friend—You're right, of j course Seven days only make one wea k.—Lippincott's. ! It must have been tough on the peo | pie of the stone age when they tried I to turn over a new leaf. Pittsburg ! Press. Grecian Food For Dreamers. Hasheesh, the strange drug which has given oui language its word "as sassin"—a man so frenzied by the drug that he accomplishes murder—ls used by the Persians, Turks and Egyptians in a manner akin to the use of opium by the Chinese. It is the product of a plant grown in large quantities in the Pttlopoune uis (souihern (ireece). in tlie district about Tripolitza. The plant ;r >ws i') a height of ibout four feet, and its branches are thickly covered with small leaves and studded with tiny seeds. The entire phut, stalk and brandies, is 111 within a few inches of the root and laid out i.i the sun to dry. The brain lies are then to sepa rate tl: • seeds, and these in turn are ground into a line powder, which ('(in stitutes the drug. The drug has the power of inducing sleep and producing pleasant :i •«! fantastic dreams. Con tinued use of hasheesh renders its devotees rccklc; sand results in a wreck of their mental and physical constitution. Montreal Standard. Imr.iuns From Arrest. In Wa hington, in the capital of the nation, ii r -fide '2OO men who, with their !ic ;i :i-litis, have absolute immu nity from the laws of the land, even though they commit crimes of the first degree. They may shoot down the man who injures them; they may, if they see fit, paint the equestrian statue of General i'iiii Sheridan a vivid pea green, yet the hands of Uncle Sam must he kept from their shoulders, and woe unto the unterrified policeman or other servant of the law who under takes to bring them to justice once they have declared their official con nections. These men who are so cloth ed in immunity are the members of the diplomatic corps, and their shield Is International law. It is provided in the laws of nations that they must answer before the tribunals of their own countries for the offenses they commit hero in Washington, but that they shall not be tried by any court of the United States.—Washington Star. Business Cards. J.C.JOHNSON. J. P. MCNABNKY F. A. JOHNSON. JOHNSON & McNAKNKY, ATTORNEYS-AT-LAW* EMPORIUM, PA. Will give prompt attention to all business en trusted to lliem. 18-ly. MICHAEL BRENNAN, ATTORNEY-AT-1. AW Collections promptly attended to. Real estate ami pension claim agent, 35-ly. Emporium, Pa. H. W. GREEN. JAY P. FELT GREEN & FELT, ATTORNEYS-AT-LAW, Corner Fourth and Broad streets, {Emporium, Pa. All business relatingto estate,collections.real estate, Orphan's Court and Renerallav business will receive prompt attention. 41-25-ly. COM M ERCIA L HOTEL. Near P. A: K. Depot, Emporium, Pa. FREDERICK LEVECKE, Prop'r. Centrally located. Every convenience for the traveling public. Rates reasonable.; A share of he public patronage solicited. 411 y V AY GOULD, TEACHER OF PIANO, HARMONY AND THEORY, Also dealer in all the Popular .-heet Music, Emporium, Pa. Scholars taught either at my home on Sixth ntreetor at the liomesofthc pupils. Out oftown ii< iiolars will be given dates at my room in this place. Egagaauamiuagaanuauaauaaaaaßpgaml CTTEKa Coughs, Colds; CROUP, WhoopingCogh This remedy can always be depended upon and is pleasant to take. It contains no opium or other harmful drug and may be given as confi dently to a baby as to an adult. Price 25 cents, large size SO cents. Roof Slating I am especially prepared to Contract for Slating By the square or job. As to my work manship, I refer, by permission, to the work recently completed for the Hon. B. W. Green. GEORGE A. WRIGHT. Get My Prices Before You Use Shingles IpiE5ES| B A SAPR, CERTAIN RBLIKP for SITPRKHSKI> MENSTRUATION. H ■ NEVER KNOWN TO FAIL 9 for SI.OO pi r IK»X. Will srn-l them on trial, to be l for I '■ have them send your orders to the J UNITED MEDICAL CO.. BOX 74. LANCASTER. PA. J Sold in Emporium by L. Taggarl and R. C. Dodson 20 Years W ithHeartT rouble "Dr. Miles' Heart Remedy has j cured me of heart disease of ] over 20 years' standing. I was j so bad that I could not do my j work, and could scarcely draw 1 a full breath without fainting or ! smothering. The doctor told me 1 he could do no more for me; ; then I commenced taking the j Heart Remedy. I shall never j forget that night. I slept better i than I had before in months. I ! kept right on getting better, un- I til I was perfectly well." MRS. LAURA RUSSELL', Logan, lowa. ; When the heart action is i weak, it fails to pump the blood through the lungs with sufficient rapidity. Then the lungs do not absorl) the proper amount of • oxygen, although they may be | taking in a normal amount of j air. The result is shortness of ; breath, smothering spells, diffi cult breathing, oppressed feeling i in chest. Dr. Miles' Heart Rem i edy strengthens the heart nerves i and muscles, and in this way. increases the circulation. Get a botlle from your drug gist. Take it according to direc tions, and if it does not benefit lie will return your money. Sour Stomach. No appetlta, loss of strength, nervous ness, headache, constipation, bad breath, general debility, sour risings, and catarrh of the stomach are all due to Indigestion. Kodol relieves Indigestion. This new discov ery represents tha natural Juices of diges tion as they exist in a healthy stomach, combined with tlTj greatest known tonio and reconstructive properties. Kodol for dyspepsia does not only relieve Indigestion and dyspepsia, but this famous remedy helps all stomach troubles by cleansing, purifying, sweetening and strengthening tho mucous membranes lining the stomach. Mr. S. S. Ball. of Ravenswood, W, Va., says:— " I was troubled with sour stomach for twenty yoars. Kodol cured in® and we are now using It In ml& for baby," Kodol Digests What You Eat. i Bottles only. RelleT.ii IndlgeMlon, sour stomach, belching of ?as. ets. j Prepared by K. O. CieWITT ft CO., OHIOAOO. Sold by It. C. Dodson. Our New York Style Show Is made possible by handling | CLOTHES" I In all the latest shades of Browns, Gray, Green and London Smoke at sls, 16.50, 18, 20,25.50 Benjamin Clothes are al hand-tailored, and for style and fit cannot be excelled. We also have men and young men's suits from $7.00] up. A fine line of youths and children's suits in Knicker bocker and plain.pants from $2.50 to $5.00 New line of Spring Shirts, with or without collars. Latest in Still and Soft Hats in black, brown and green. Douglas Shoes in all the newest styles. R. SEGER &CG. NEXT TO It.INK.