I BEHIND THE SCENES IN POLITICS |
II THE POLITICAL SOCIAL WHIRL |||
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fly ERNEST M'GAFFEY
j
(Copyright, by Joseph B. Bowles.)
The politician who is following the
■calling for a livelihood eats, drinks
and sleeps polities. You cannot get
Ihim off tlio track. He finds little in
terest in anything else. All his read
ling, outside of the papers, is on po
litical topics, lie keeps track of past
(elections and past ward votes, knows
(tow his ward has gone, will go, and
ought togo in the future, lie is the j
Hife of all political assemblages, for
ibe has the air of the expert and the
lglibness of an "illustrated lecturer."
{He attends the "wakes," funerals,
dances, parties, baseball and football
(games, christenings, church fairs, pic
nics and all other social happenings,
and gets himself voted "the most pop
ular man" whenever he has a chance.
«*<!** *
I remember that at one political
Jamboree there was a "beauty show"
and I was appointed one of the judges.
?The other two judges were "pulling
and I saw 1 was "double
•crossed" before the "beauties" went
•on the platform. In front of the plat
tform there was a big crowd on the
■chairs, and they were filled by the re
spective adherents of the contesting
"fair." 1 had innocently supposed
that things were "on the square" until
!1 was approached by one of the judges
Iwith the idea that the first prize ought
>to goto a certain girl who, to my no
tion, was not within a thousand miles
of being first in the race. I put up
such a fierce "kick" that the other
Judges got a little bit uncertain, and
at last, as first and second prizes were
both gold watches, they agreed to let
me select No. 2 if I would vote for
their choice for first prize.
When No. l's name was announced
■a groan went tap from the crowd, ac
companied by a cheer from one cor
ner of the seats where the winner's
partisans were bunched. When No.
2's name was given she was cheered
by a big majority of the crowd, and I
wa.< satisfied my eyesight was still
good. Now for both of these girls the
vot ■ had been solid, three votes for
•each. When it came to No. 3—and
th< re were only three prizes worth
anything—l did a little "double-cross
ing" myself. One of the judges pro
posed a girl who bad a face like a
custard pie at twilight. The other
judge said, "Sure, that's the one!" I
had selected a girl for this prize and
had got her name, so I said to judge
No. i.', "Where's your lady?" He
pointed to her and I said, "Out of
(sight; but we'd belter split tho votes
"this time; you vote for Miss " giv
ing him the name of my choice—"so
'that the crowd won't have any holler
•coming on the split; two votes to one
"will win out anyway."
He did as suggested, but as I also
voted for my choice the look of dis
,gust that overspread his features
when he saw how lie had been "horn
•swoggled" was something classic, liut
•ail he said was "Holy gee!"
After a man has been mixed up in
politics for a year or so he begins to
perceive that politics has as many an
gles in a social way as the game of
"three-cushion caroms." The variety
■of gradations is so widely diversified
and the intervals so abrupt that it
takes a truly, cosmopolitan spirit to
successfully "take the degrees." At
four o'clock in the afternoon you may
be touching glasses with a young me
chanic at a "rathskeller" in a friendly
chat over your beer as to how things
look in his end of the ward. At 6 p.
xn. you may be dining with a bunch of
Judges and party magnates in some
fashionable club, making wild guesses
with the rest of them as to how na
tional politics looms up. At twelve
that night you may be addressing for
ty or fifty people in a little hall back
of some saloon. You must be pre
pared to meet all kinds of people at a
minute's notice, and you must be able
to understand them and adapt your
self to them instantly and easily, or
you will be lost in political society.
Suppose you happen to drop in at
down-town headquarters where they
are waiting for a meeting to be called.
There may be twenty to thirty men
about, some sitting in chairs reading
or talking, some at a card-table play
ing a friendly game of cinch, others at
a pool-table or a billiard-table. Can
you play cards? Now, of course, it is
not absolutely essential that you can;
but if you can make a hand at one
card-table or "pocket eight balls from
the break," or play a fair game of bil
liards you are a more welcome mem
ber of society in that strata of politi
cal existence.
And if it should happen that you
joined a group at some "high-toned"
political club, where some topics such
as literature, art, science, invention or
similar matters were being discussed,
and could hold your own in conversa
tion, you were "making a hand" there,
the same as at the more plebeian
game of cinch. Nothing that a man
has learned with his head or his hands
but what will come in handy in poli
tics.
Political club meetings, in the case
of the down-town organizations, took
place every Sunday in my time. They
were enlivened by the admission of
new members, the reading of reports
and making of motions,' speeches, and
always something in the way of a
vaudeville stunt by either a member
of the club or some outside talent.
These down-town meetings were valu
able in bringing the leaders of the
different wards together and affording
them an opportunity to exchange po
litical news and to discuss the coming
siuing or fall campaign. They were
always largely attended, and it was a
disgrace for any ward to be called
upon for information of any sort and
not have a representative on hand. A
disgrace that I never knew to happen
but once. No matter what the weather
was the "faithful" were on hand.
The president opened the meeting
and the utmost freedom of discussion
was allowed in any debate which
might arise. Sometimes a recess was
declared, and the men talked and
smoked until the meeting was called
to order again. It was amusing to see
how those of the gathering who were
office-holders were regarded. If their
position gave them no "distributive"
power, they were looked on as merely
"happy accidents," and not ranking at
all with those office-holders who had
"jobs" to sort out. In neither of my
own positions did I have the appoint
ment of even so much as a day-laborer
at my disposal, so 1 was merely "a
lucky guy." In fact I was lucky in
more ways than one, for not having
anything to give out I was not both
ered by applicants.
These meetings always arranged
for the parades, the marching trips
and the "grand balls" which were
given. Don't imagine it did not cost
anything to mingle in political society,
polite and otherwise. You were able
to buy tickets to the balls, chances on
everything that could be raffled for
the benefit of some needy politician,
badges and gloves, plug hats to march
CAMERON COUNTY PRESS, THURSDAY, MAY 21, 1908
in, together with other raiment, club
clues, tickets to various dances and
entertainments, and in fact, from
morning until night, day in and day
out, to "sift" your salary steadily into
"the hopper."
The "grand balls" were of course
the most important functions given
by the party. They were attended by
everybody, including the mayor, and
he led the grand march. It was a
lively time, and diamonds were as
plentiful as blackberries. Pull-dress
suits were largely in evidence, and
the dancing kept up until morning.
At such a ball the extreme opposites
of political life met, once a year, and
the occasion was one to be remem
bered. Judges, with an eye to possible
or probable re-nomination, were not. at
all too proud to attend, and occasion
ally some of the city's elite attended,
just for the novelty of the thing. 1, A
woman might be led out by an ex
governor of the state for one set, and
the next set —
"take a turn flown tho middle
With the man that shot Sandy MrfJee."
It was a truly cosmopolitan gather
ing, unique and picturesque, and rare
ly was there any disturbance that
amounted to anything.
Another and more common phase of
political social life was at the saloons.
Mere the ward politicians gathered,
not only to talk politics, but to roll
ten-pins, play pool and, at the card
tables, "play for the drinks." The
amount of social intercourse thus had
in a large city is enormous. After the
ordinary ward politician had eaten his
supper he would be ready to engage
in his political cruising, and he could
usually find a bunch of men at the
bowling alleys, or in the card-rootn of
liia neighboring saloon. I went
through a great many political fights
and skirmishes, big and little, and ex
cept just at election times I saw very
little drunkenness. But there was no
doubt that the workingmen and me
chanics gathered at the saloons to
see each other. And there was no
doubt that thoy spent money there;
maybe more than they should have
done. But that was where they went
to find companionship; to meet their
"society." 1 have often gone to the
swell political clubs and there met the
professional men, lawyers, doctors
and professors, business men of largo
interests in various channels, and
they sat at the tables and drank their
wine where tho ward fellows drank
beer, and they played "bridge" or
'yjoker" where the ward men played
'xinch," and when you come to the
question of which is moral and which
is not, I leave it cheerfully to every
man for himself to judge.
Every year, and always in the good
old summer-time, the swell picnic was
held, generally away out in the coun
try in some grove. And here political
society disported itself in its gayest
and gladdest "rags," and gave itself
up to unalloyed festivities of all sorts
and kinds. There was the fat man's
race, the sack race, chasing the
greased pig (so politically suggestive),
tho tug-of-war between the firemen
and policemen's teams, the dances, the
speeches, tho bowling alleys, the "nig
ger baby and baseball" stand, the um
brella and cane game, the lemonade
stands, the wandering minstrels, and
the "shell game." You could spend
your money a little at a time at tho
diversified amusements, or you could
have one swift thrill and lose It all at
the "shells."
When the baud struck up a favorite
waltz tune at the platform you could
go up and "pivot" with your partner,
just to show that you were not proud,
or that you knew how to "reverse."
Dancing went on all the time, couples
coming and going and round dancing
being succeeded by quadrilles. Some
times a lithe and sinuous jig-dancer
got a space cleared for himself to dis
port in, and great was the enthusiasm
when some girl would accept a chal
lenge and come out on the boards to
do a turn with the jig-dancer. Such ad
vancing and swaying and retreating;
such apparent indifference and then
unexampled vigor; such a hammering
of the boards and turning and twist
ing, until at the end the crowd roared
its approval and the dancers disap
peared among the spectators.
Political society at the picnics, dem
ocratic as it seemed at first blush, had
its lines of demarcation, which were
quite noticeably drawn. The wife and
daughters of the "big boss" were on
hand, together with tho women-folk 3
of the various office-holders, but they
did not mingle with the average lady
picnickers. They sat by themselves
in something of exclusive grandeur,
and were pointed out by the more
ordinary of the merry-makers to their
companions.
Sometimes a possible presidential
candidate graced the occasion by his
presence and consented to hand out a
sample of silver-tongued oratory. But
I never heard one yet who could draw
away any of the attendance at the
baseball game or the fat women's race.
There's a limit, even to oratory.
Great was the consternation when,
as sometimes happened, the flood
gates of heaven opened and drowned
the picnic grounds. The last political
picnic I attended commenced on a
very threatening day, and at last the
clouds seemed to make up their minds
to sweep tho grounds. Our party had
taken alarm, with a number of others,
and had gone down the track to where
the first train to town was stationed.
The crowd got there and jammed the
train instantly. Just opposite the pic
nic ground, and a half mile from us,
was a wide platform, uncovered, on
which stood hundreds who were wait
ing for this train. "Let her go,
said the conductor; "no stop till we
get to Chicago." Away we went, and
as wo passed the picnic grounds hun
dreds more came down through the
drenching showers in white dresses
that stuck to their limbs and straw
hats that were being soaked to ruin.
But the train went past regardless of
their yells, and as it went by tho cat
windows were raised and the chorus
of the latest song was wafted into
their ears:
"Oh! ain't dat awful.
Ain't dat a shame;
To keep my baby
Out in the rain.
His First Impression.
They stood by the lake. She wan
from lioston and poetical.
"Are you romantic?' she chirped
after a long silence.
"Exceedingly," replied the Chicago
man as be lit another black cigar.
"Ah, 1 am so glad to hear it. What
does yon yellow half moon remind
you of?"
The Chicago man was thoughtful.
"W.ell, to tell you the truth,"he re.
sponded, after a minute's meditation,
"it reminds me of the half of a
pumpkin pie and—"
But the Boston girl was gone. Such
a gross allusion to fair Luna was
more than her aesthetic uatura could i
tolerate,
You Bead the
Other Fellow's Ad
iis
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[j s That should convince you
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112 The fact that the other
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other fellow a chance
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