~T~
Business
Engagement
By JOHN WOHNE $
* (Copyright.)
From his early youth Jiggins culti
vated the hard-headed, common-sense
Bids of his nature and firmly sup
pressed the dreamy and the mystical
whenever it threatened to appear.
At the right moment he discreetly
retired from business with a consider
able amount of capital and became a
financial magnate, with a taste for
cornering articles of general consump
tion and selling at his own price. Ilis
"cornering" operations had been uni
formally successful hitherto and the
power of his capital had invariably
crushed all opposition.
It.was with a light heart, therefore,
Lhat he had entered upon the task of
obtaining control of the supply of
hairpins, with the object of selling
♦hem at a big advance and bring the
womankind of the world to his feet.
It was a stupendous scheme worthy of
liis great brain.
The scheme had at first promised
well. lie began quietly by buying up
two or three hairpin businesses and
supplying the article at a price ridicu
lously low, which, of course, involved
a considerable loss to himself. Each
day brought him the news of the fail
ure of two or more firms. The market
took fright, as markets do, and be
came unsettled; hairpin stock showed
& downward tendency and the time ap
proached when Jiggins would be the
only man or woman who could lay his
hand upon a hairpin.
But one morning, when he sent out
a clerk with a check to buy up an
other business which had collapsed,
the boy returned with the startling
news that it had already been bought
by somebody else, but the man in the
office would not say who it was. Jig
gins smiled a confident smile and re
duced the price of hairpins by another
cent per hundred and the market posi
tively screamed with agony. lie pitied
the fool who tried to make headway
against his bank account and signed a
larger check, but the boy returned
with this also; the business was not
to be had at any price. "Very well,"
thought Jiggins, "we shall see," and,
turning to his telephone, he sent the
price of hairpins still further down all
over the country.
Next morning when he reached the
office he was told that his unknown
competitors had made another cut in
the price of hairpins. Jiggins sat for
a time stunned. If this sort of thing
were togo on every woman would
have a stock of hairpins sufficient to
last a century and his "corner" would
be futile. He drew himself together
and then he gave interviews to his
agents through whom he had been
able to spread a financial net over the
world. Each brought the same news:
Some secret immovable power was
meeting him at every point. Some
colossal mind, with a colossal purse
equal to his own, was quietly check
mating him wherever he turned, and
he was unable to locate it. If he could
lhave found an individual responsible
he would have felt less helpless.
Finally his right-hand man told him
to try 494 Broadway, Hairpins Unlim
ited.
He jumped at the suggestion of a
definite address, which surely meant
a definite person. Putting his check
hook in his pocket he hurried out and
drove to 494 Broadway, prepared to
•encounter the enemy face to face. He
was himself again, smooth, diplomatic,
alert. A brass plate informed him
that Hairpins Unlimited was on the
'fourth story. He went up and
knocked. A small boy opened a dingy
door and he handed him his card.
The boy went and returned.
"You can have nine minutes and a
half," he said. Jiggins realized that
that precision showed the presence of
the master mind which had dared to
wrestle with his own. He followed the
boy into a comfortably and daintily
furnished room. The boy placed a
chair and retired. Jiggins sat down.
There was only a woman in the room
and he loked round in some surprise.
"I've come to see the manager of
the company," he said.
She didn't look up, but replied;
"I'lease wait one moment."
She went, on writing and he tapped
his foot on the ground impatiently.
This was not the way he was accus
tomed to be treated.
"Kindly do not shuffle with your
feet," she said abruptly. He started.
"My name," he said, is Jiggins;
Josiah Jiggins."
"You are expected," she said and
went on writing. ISeyond that she did
not. seem impressed.
After about two more minutes he
said; "I should be obliged if you
would let me know when the manager
can see me."
"Now," she replied, and looked at
him keenly.
He rose, thinking he was going to
be shown into another room.
"Please don't trouble to rise," she
said. He sat down again, feeling
smaller than he had ever done in his
life.
This woman had an eye that
quelled him.
"Well, sir?" she said inquiringly,
"I came to see the manager of
Holrpina Unlimited."
"T am the proprietor; what is yonr |
business?"
"But" — he said, and gasped.
"You have come with a check book," |
she saiil curtly.
"Yes," he replied.
"You have decided to offer a large
sum."
"You anticipate what I was going !
to say exactly."
"If I do not accept your offer you
will be bankrupt in a week."
That was almost the literal truth.
He realized that he must pull himself
together and get a word in.
It was distressing to be taken off
one's guard like this in a matter of
business.
"Am 1 to understand—" he said,
with a great effort to be cool and col
lected.
"That I am the head of the firm i
which is underselling you in hairpins? j
Yes," iie said, without giving him
time to complete his sentence.
He had prepared to lead up gradual- j
ly by means of threats to a reasonable i
offer, but this bluntness put every- j
thing out of his usually well ordered
head.
"You're a remarkable woman," he
blurted out.
"1 have five minutes to spare," she
said sternly.
"You have guessed quite rightly
what I came for.
"Then there is no need to explain
it: need you stay longer?"
This was unbearable and not diplo
macy. Honor forbade him to remain,
but the thought of bankruptcy within
a week prevailed, and she was a
handsome woman. Ho pulled himself
together.
"I was going to suggest," he said,
"that no good seems likely to conic to
anybody from this cut throat competi
tion."
"Except to the consumer," she
put in.
He pooh-poohed the suggestion that
that should affect the question as be
tween men and women of business
and she did not press it further. Till
he saw that she meant nothing by it
his opinion of her fell; but he was j
reassured and it. rose again. He |
smiled and they tacitly agreed in
treating the consumer as a joke.
"Well, madam," he said (feeling
that the form of address was out of
place in the case of so charming a
woman). "Well, madam, I do not know j
how it strikes you, but it occurs to me ,
that in another week, even though I i
may be bankrupt, there will be such a !
large slock of hairpins in every house
hold in the country that you will find |
it difficult to avoid the same fate. No- |
body will take the things as a present
by that time."
She smiled slightly, but said noth
ing.
"I have more respect for your busi
ness ability"—he bowed and she
bowed in return. "I have —ahem!
more respect for your business ability
than to suppose that your object in
this is to crush me without regard to
what is to happen to yourself."
He was gradually making up his
mind for a great stroke aud felt more '
confident.
"I presume you alone are concerned
in this admirable scheme?" he asked.
"Yes," she said.
"It was too complete—too—too—
homogeneous, if I may use the word,
to be anything but the work of one
mind, and that, as I recognized at
once, a mind of quite extraordinary
capacity." She put her hand before
her mouth to hide a coming smile and
turned away a little.
"Y6u will understand, of course,
that I have met many remarkable
minds in the course of my career."
"Yes," she said, "I have watched
it."
This was gratifying.
"So many of such minds," she said,
"find their way ultimately to the peni
tentiary."
"Only the inferior kind," he replied.
"One can never respect the man who
allows that to happen."
"It is so much a matter of luck,"
she said.
"Oh, no, I think not; I think not.
Now I was onco in partnership with
a man—"
He stopped, remembering that there
was no time to indulge in reminis
cences, however much they were to
his credit.
"I have not been in partnership
with anybody since," he said, thought
fully.
"You found the risk too great? The
partner is apt to give the whole thing
away?" she inquired.
The way she grasped his meaning
was wonderful.
This was a woman in a million.
"Most men are fools," he said.
"And women?"
"I have not had much experience;
such as I have had has created a fa
vorable Impression."
"I am glad," she said.
"Till to-day it was practically noth
ing," he said.
"I see," she replied, "you mean that
you have a pretty high opinion of
me?"
He was a little startled. "Yes," he
said; "that is what I meant."
"I am accustomed to being told that
by many people."
"And you deserve it,"he said gal
lantly.
"Possibly," she replied airily; "have
you any further suggestions?" And
she looked up at the clock.
He bad; but they couldn't be made
in the sudden way she apparently In
tended.
"I have often thought that it is
sometimes lonely when one is not in
partnership."
"Hut safer," she said curtly.
"You never do anything great if
you always play for safety."
"I am told that is the principle on
which people marry."
"It may be," he replied; "it seems
a good one."
There was a pause.
"I'm afraid I'm keeping yon from
your work," he said.
'You are," she replied.
He had never met such remarkable
directness. He was enraptured.
"My excuse is that. 1 have a rather
important proposal to make." He ar
ranged his necktie. "As I said before
I have a very high opinion of your in
tellect."
"Yes," she said.
"And I have for some time been
looking for a partner whom I could
trust with the management of a fair
share of my business."
"Such persons are difficult to find."
"They are; but I have come to the
conclusion that I have found one."
"1 was under the impression that
you would have no business to man
age by the end of next week."
"That depends," he said. "It lias
also occurred to me that for a man In
my position who may at any moment
by some unfortunate accident be in
volved in a colossal bankruptcy it Is
very useful to have a wife."
"Who may come forward at the
proper moment before your creditors
as the real owner of all your property:
that is true," she said.
"You understand me perfectly. Now,
on the other hand, you arc liable at
any moment to be made bankrupt,
and I think you admitted that crush
ing me will very likely ruin you."
"There is a bare possibility."
"A possibility from which you will
be freed if you have a husband to
carry on the business in his own
name, "iou keep the money; he incurs
liabilities and the creditors get noth
ing. I think that is Ihe law."
"Yes, roughly that is bo," sho said
pensively.
"The alternative is that we cut
each other' 3 throats and both become
bankrupt."
"You suggest that we should mar
ry?" she asked.
"That is what I propose."
"It seems a reasonable compro
mise."
He went on in glowing terms:
"Between us we control the whole
market United, we shall be irresisti
ble. The world will be at our feet:
for all practical purposes we should
be king and queen of the country. It
seems to me a proposition advantage
ous to both of us."
He bent over the table earnestly,
but stopped, for she was not listening.
She was engaged in some complicated
calculation, occasionally putting down
a note on the paper before her. He was
about togo on, but she said: "I shall
not require to hear you further. I
have sufficient data to form a conclu
sion." So he waited for her decision.
He felt more anxious than he had ever
been even over his most gigantic com
pany flotation.
At last she looked up and said, with
some deliberation: "I am in the habit
of making up my mind rapidly. You
must not suppose I am always as slow
as this.l have considered your pro
posal in all its bearings and it seems
to me likely to lead to important re
sults.
"Yes," he said impatiently.
"I think, on the whole," she said,
"the advantages would outweigh the
disadvantages."
"Then you will be mine?" he cried,
with an unbusinesslike fervor which
he regretted at once.
"I will be yours," she said firmly,
"subject of course to the usual legal
and eccelesiastical formalities."
"Of course," he replied, "subject to
the usual formalities. Will you ar
range about that, or shall I?"
She looked at the clock and replied:
"I think we can settle that to-morrow.
I can see you"—she consulted a dairy
—"from 11:30 till 11:37 to-morrow
morning."
He took out his pocketbook.
"I am afraid I am engaged at that
time," he said; "can you give me an
appointment between two and three?"
"Yes," she said, "2:15 till 2:25 will
suit me excellently."
"That is better," he said. "Three
minutes longer. I must not delay
you." He took up his hat and rose
to go.
"Pardon me," he said; "before
going, as there are now no secrets be
tween us, may 1 ask how you managed
to undersell me?"
"Quite simple," she replied, smiling
sweetly; "I was able to buy hairpins
from you so cheaply that it was possi
ble to lay in an enormous stock and
practically give them away at a
trilling expense."
He staggered back.
"Then these"—he pointed to a pile
on the floor —"are really mine?"
"They will belong to the partner
ship now. Good-morning."
He left the room dazed, but wonder
ing whether there was an economic
fallacy underlying her scheme. How
ever, no law of economics or any other
law could prevail against such a
woman, and he congratulated himself
on the finest piece of work he had
ever done in his life.
But in the midst of his Joy there
was a mysterious feeling that he had
forgotten something, but ho could not
imagine what. As he reached the bot
tom of the stairs it struck him what
it was.
"By Jove!" he said. "Of course!"
He went up again and knocked.
The boy said she was not in. Clever
boy that. He said he had only for
gotten something; it would only tako
one second. So he was allowed to
enter. She looked up, a little annoyed
at the interruption.
"1 am afraid I forgot something,'* he
said with hesitation.
"Most unbusiuess-like," she said
sternly.
"Don't we—don't we—er —kiss—or
something?" he faltered.
"I Buppose we d<\" she said.
So they did.
FATE AGAINST THEM
LOVERS' ROMANCE SPOILED IN
STRANGE FASHION.
Letters "PJstcd" in Hollow Tree Be
came the Sport of Squirrels—Each
Probably Believed the Other
to Be Untrue.
In the hollow of an old tree which
they chopped down in a field near
Richfield, N. .T., recently workmen
found two letters. The first was in
a woman's hand. It said:
"Dear Jim—l got your letter all
right, the day it was left here —our
little post office—but it is only now
that I have had a chance to leave a
reply. I think you meant what you
said, although at times 1 have believed
you were untrue. I have been watched
since your letter came, and had a long
wait before the oportunity arrived for
me to slip out with the reply. I want
to meet you some night—say, next
Thursday—and we will both go away
together. I will be all ready, and if
you are not on hand and the letter is
gone I'll be convinced that yon don't
want me. Then I'll go away myself,
and you'll never again hear from me.
Good by.—Alice."
This was dated Wednesday. June
.10, ISBI. The other letter, written in
a man's hand, was dated ten days
later. It read thus:
"Dear Alice: I have waited so
long for a reply that I have begun to
think that you have gone back on me.
I have come to the tree many times,
and looked in vain for an answer.
Night and day I have thought of you,
wondering if it could be possible that
you had forsaken me. I have heard
all about the other fellow, but cannot
make myself believe that you care
for him. I will wait five days more.
Then if I don't hear from you I will
be convinced that I am not wanted.
After that I will leave you alone to
enjoy the happiness which you may
find with him. I'll go far away from
here and try to forget.—Jim."
There was a small opening in the
tree about seven feet from the ground.
From this opening the hollow, bored
out by squirrels, ran clear to the
ground. The woodchoppers believe
that the missives fell or were dragged
clear to the ground after they had
been deposited in the "post office."
"Alice" and "Jim" were probably in
the habit of leaving letters in the
aperture, which could I*=* taken out
with the hand until the squirrels had
bored up from the bottom and reached
the point where the letters lay soon
after the girl left her last message
there. Roth letters were crumpled
and eaten away at the edges, giving
rise to the belief that they were prob
ably dragged down into the hollow
trunk by the squirrels.
Seeing the Wind Blow.
Wind is air in motion. Sometimes
you hear people declare on a sultry
day that there is "no air." Of course,
that is impossible; there is always
plenty of air, but there is not always
a wind. Strange to say it is possible
to see the wind, if the right means are
employed.
Take a polished metal surface of
two feet or more, with a straight
edgd; a large hand-saw will answer
the purpose. Take a windy day for
the experiment, whether hot or cold,
clear, or cloudy, only let it not be in
rainy, murky weather.
Hold your metallic surface at right
•ingles to the direction of the wind —
1.e., if the wind is north, hold your
surface east and west, but instead of
holding it vertical incline it about 42
degrees to the horizon, so that the
wind, striking, glances and flows over
the edge, as the water flows over a
dam. Now sight carefully along the
edge some minutes at a sharply-de
fined object, and you will see the wind
pouring over the edge in graceful
curves. Make your observations care
fully and you will hardly ever fail in
the experiment; the results are even
belter if the sun is obscured.
Kindred Spirits.
Nothing is more certain than that
our manners, our civilization, and all
Ihe good things which are connected
with civilization, have in this Euro
pean world of ours, depended for ages
upon two principles, and were indeed
the result of both combined; I mean
the spirit of a gentleman and the spir
it of religion. The nobility and the
clergy, the one by profession, the
other by patronage, kept learning in
existence even in the midst of arms
and confusion, and while governments
were rather in their causes than
formed. Learning paid back what it
received to nobility and priesthood,
and paid it with usury, by enlarging
their ideas and by furnishing their
minds. —Edmund Burke.
Quiet Nights Assured.
"I see where some wizard has
evolved a bark less tree," remarked the
scientific boarder as he helped him
self to the hot cakes.
"Great Jupiter!" exclaimed the
comedian boarder. "Wouldn't It be
a great, benefit to the world?"
"What?"
"Why, if some wizard could evolve
a barkless dog."
Study at Home,
"Maud graduated from your cook
ing school last spring, didn't she?"
"Yes, but she's going to take a post
graduate course next fall."
"Going back to the same school
again?"
"Oh, no! She's to be married to a
poor young man."—The Catholic
.Standard and Times.
WOMAN BRAVES FROZEN NORTH.
Makes a Trip of 1,100 Miles'on Snow
shoes or Dog Sled.
After a trip of 1,100 miles through
the unknown northland, Mrs. Beech
has arrived in Winnipeg with her hus
band and son, none the worse for the
trip, which was the longest ever un
dertaken by a white woman under
similar conditions, says the New York
Press, With 18 dogs, they left*their
homestead, north of the Churchhill
river on December 10, the trip occu
pying a little more than three months.
Their adventures and the privations
they suffered were far worse than they
had expected.
Aires. Beech is more than 55 years
I years old, and the trip was made
| against the advice of traders in the
i far north. She arrived, however, in
I excellent health. For the first week
| the snow was in first-class condition
| for fast time and they reached the
! Xelson river on the seventh day out.
They found the river flowing, how
ever, and grossing impossible. Food
was scarce, and after 23 days in which
they were close to starvation they
were able to cross the river and ob
tain supplies from the Hudson Bay
post.
For 45 days Beech and his wife and
their son were continuously on snow
shoes. The worst experience of th's
trip was from January 23 to 27, when
the thermometer registered GO below
zero. The party managed to kill a
polar bear, which provided needed
food for the travelers and their dogs,
the skin eventually being disposed of
to the Hudson Bay company for S3O.
Beech witnessed a queer Indian
funeral on his way down. It was that
of Chief Sinclair of the Norway Housd
Indians, the body being followed to
the grave by 3,000 members of nis
tribe.
Beech was once a prominent iaßrrt
her of the Winnipeg grain exchange,
but several years ago lost heavily on
wheat, and then decided togo 1-ito
the north country for rest and me,ins
of earning a livelihood.
When Conkling Posed.
When the first suspension bridge
was thrown over Niagara there was
a great and tumultuous opening cere
mony, such as the Americans love,
and many of the great ones of the
United States assembled to do ht nor
to the occasion, and among them was
Roscoe Conkling. Conkling was one
of the most brilliant public ,nen
whom America has produced; a man
of commanding even beautiful, pres
ence, and of, perhaps, unparalleled
vanity. He had been called (by an
opponent) a human peacock. After
the ceremonies attending the open
ing of the bridge bad been concluded
Conkling, with many others, was at
the railway station waiting to depart;
but, though others were there, he
did not mingle with them, but strutted
and plumed himself for their benefit,
posing that they might get the full
effect of all his majesty.
One of the station porters was so
impressed that, stepping up to anoth
er who was hurrying by trundling a
load of luggage, he jerked his thumli
in Conkling's direction and:
"Who's that feller?" he asked. "I*
be the man as built the bridge?"
The other studied the great man a
moment.
"Thunder! No," said he. "He's
the man as made the falls."—Put
nam's Magazine.
Smokeless Powder Machines.
One of the most successful enter
prises in Brunswick, Germany, is the
mnaufacture of machines for the pro
duction of smokeless powder. The
firm has recently received important
orders, not only from Kuropean but
more distant countries, for the equip
ment of factories for the manufacture
of smokeless powder, gun wool, dyna
mite, celluloid, etc. In these plans
the gun wool or collodian wool Is
manipulated with a mixture of cotton
and suphuric acid and changed into
gun wool, which is the basis for the
celluloid and the artificial silk em
ployed in the manufacture of smoke
less powder. The firm claims that
this process v;as first made use of
by their nitrate centrifugal, which has
been so improved that the conversion
of the ingredients into smokeless
powder takes only half an hour to an
hour.
Not the Right Name.
She was extremely bashful when
she entered the florist's shop.
"I —I'd like to get some flowers for
a young man's birthday party," she
said, blushing a cherry red.
"Yes, miss," replied the polite flor
ist, with a low bow. "How would
sweet Williams do?"
She was all confusion.
"I'm afraid they* wouldn't answer,"
she faltered. "You see, he is not a
William; he —he is a sweet Charlie."
Modernized Version.
Pythias had returned, just in time
to save the life of Damon.
"Gee!" exclaimed Dionysius. "Hoys
when that story is worked into a play
it will make a great hit."
"Most noble tyrant," said Pythias,
venturing to correct him, "it's merely
a sacrifice hit."
Many of the scorers, however, hav
ing only a superficial knowledge of
the game, marked it down as a double
play.
Why She Smiled.
"Nnonsense! who told you Miss Pe
chis had a good disposition?"
"Why, she's always smililng. Doesn'l
that show a good disposition?"
"Not necessarily. It may slmplj
show good teeth —and dimples."
HA-HA! I TOLD YOU GO.
"You took 'cm off Inst week, ha! hat
And now you shiver in the !ir< esse;
Your eyes are rod, O you're a sight;
Go it, old boy! enjoy your sneeze.
Oh, that's a frightful cold you have,
l!ut I've no sympathy, Oh, no!
You took 'em off—lia, ha! old man,
I told you so!
"Kxcuse me if I have to smile,
It really tickles me to see
That you are suffering this way.
You should have givf n hoed to me.
It's all your fault, you were a fool,
The fiddler you must pay, you know;
Still you'll remember, if you think,
I told you so."
"I know I've got an awful cold.
By head is stuffed so bery tight,.
I caddot speak a single word.
Ad I can't ebon sleep at dight.
But I could stand de cold, by Hub!
Widout complainlg oh by woe,
If I could dodge t In: fools who say
"I told you so.' "
—Detroit Free I'rcsst.
I TOO LATE TO BEGIN.
"Why did old Sklnem insisl that hl<
wife should give away the bride whei
his daughter was married?"
"O! He said he'd never given awa;
anything yet, and he was too old l<
begin!"— Northern Budget.
April.
A little bit of sunshine and
A little dash of rain;
A little frost throughout the land—
The fruit crop's failed again!
—Washington Star.
At the Dance.
He —Miss Huggins lias a great deal
of color to-night.
She— She must have.
"Haven't you seen her?'
"No, 1 have not, but I knew yot:
had been with her, and I see there's
some red on your coat!"—Yonkers
Statesman.
Spiteful.
Mrs. Bacon —Does your husband us«
a safety razor?
Mrs. Kgbert—Yes, he does.
"Hoes he like it?"
"No, 1 don't think he does; T think
lie only uses it to spite me. I can't
cut my corns with it, at all." —Yonkers
Statesman,
i
A Little Misunderstanding.
"Ilon't give me any rosy fairy tales
about the business," said the p9»pri
etor of the musical show. "I wtint a
bald statement of the attendance."
"Oh, it's all right about the front
row," said the business manager, ab
sently.-—Baltimore American.
Those Seasick Sounds.
The Landlubber —Captain, did you
ever hear me sing "Rocked in the
Cradle of the Dee])?"
The Caijtain—No, sir; but the first
days aboardship I heard you make a
lot of other funny sounds with your
throat. —Yonkers Statesman.
Of Course.
"What 5s the first thing a young
lady should do at a formal reception?"
asked the fair debutante.
"Arrange her back hair, of course."
remarked her father, who had over
heard the conversation. —Detroit Free
Press.
Out of the Dim Past.
Samuel Woodworth had just writ
ten "The Old Oaken Bucket."
"Nothing in it!" he muttered as lie
read it over and reflected upon the
probable price it would bring.
But posterity evidently found some
thing in it. —Chicago Tribune.
Very Dull.
"She's not a very brilliant conve;
sationalist."
"No?"
"No, we went to the theater to
gether, and would you believe it, she
never spoke a word while the play waa
going on." —Detroit Free Press.
Modern Advice.
"My boy," said the father, "never
marry for money, but il' you do —"
"Well, then what?"
"Marry one who is rich enough to
bear the expenses of the divorce pro
ceedings."—Detroit Free Press.
That Depends.
"Yon know, my dear boy, that we
really gain by our trials in life."
"That depends altogether on the
kind of lawyer you get to conduct
'em." —Baltimore American.
U;' to Date.
"Ts this flat thoroughly up to data?"
asked the prospective 'tenant.
"Yes, ma'am," replied the landlord.
"Even to a pay-as-you-enter arrange
ment." —Detroit Free Press.
Reverse English.
"Johnnie, don't stuff yourself so. II
you 'eat properly you'll live lons.
"Nothin' in that, maw. I'd rutber
eat long an' live properly."—Chicacc-
Tribuua.