6
€S§§
I' The 1
| Princess j
| Elopes
I By HAROLD McGRATH j
Author of I
B "Th« Mar\ on th© Box," M
8 "Hearts and Masks," Etc. I
(Copyright, IJOS, Bobbs-Morrlll Co.)
CHAPTER I.
It is rather difficult in these days for
a man who takes such scant interest
in foreign affairs —trust a whilom
diplomat for that! —to follow the con
tinual geographical disturbances of
European surfaces. Thus, I can not
distinctly recall the exact location of
the Grand Duchy of Barscheit or of
the neighboring principality of Dop
pelkinn. It meets my needs and pur
poses, however, to say that Berlin and
Vienna were easily accessible, and
that a three hours' journey would
bring you tinder the shadow of the
Carpathian range, where, in my diplo
matic days, I used often to hunt the
"bear that walks like a man."
Barscheit was known among her sis
ter states as "the meddler," the
"maker of trouble," and the duke as
"Old Grumpy"—Brummbar. To use a
familiar Yankee expression, Barscheit
had a finger in every pie. Whenever
there was a political broth making,
whether in Italy, Germany or Austria,
Barsceit would snatch up a ladle and
start in. She took care of her own
affairs so easily that she had plenty of
time to concern herself with the af
fairs of her neighbors. This is not
to advance the opinion that Barscheit
was wholly modern; far from it. The
fault of Barscheit may be traced back
to a certain historical pillar of salt,
easily recalled by all those who at
tended Sunday school. "Rubbering"
is a vulgar phrase, and 1 disdain to
use it.
When a woman looks around it is
invariably a portent of trouble; the
man forgets his important engage
ment, and runs amuck, knocking over
people, principles and principalities,
if Aspasia had not observed Pericles
that memorable day; if there had not
been an oblique slant to Calypso's
eyes as Ulysses passed her way; if
the eager Delilah had not offered fa
vorable comment on Samson's ring
lets; in fact, if all the women in his
tory and romance had gone about their
affairs as they should have done, what
uninteresting reading history would
be to-day!
Now, this is a story of a woman who
looked around, and of a man who did
not keep his appointment on time;
out of a grain of sand, a mountain. Of
course there might have been other
causes, but with these I'm not famil
'«r.
This Duchy of liarsclieit is worth
looking Into. Imagine a country with
telegraph and telephone and medieval
customs, a country with electric lights,
railways, surface cars, hotel elevators
and ancient laws! Something of the
customs of the duchy must be told in
the passing, though, for my part, I am
Vigorously against explanatory pas
sages in stories of action. Barscheit
bristled with militarism; the little
mar always imitates the big one, but
lacks the big man's excuses. Mili
tarism entered into and overshadowed
the civic laws.
There were three things you might
do without offense; you might bathe,
eat and sleep, only you must not sleep
out loud. The citizen of Barscheit was
hemmed in by a set of laws which
had their birth in the dark dungeons
of the inquisition. They congealed the
blood of a man born and bred in a
commercial country. If you broke a
law, you were relentlessly punished;
there was no mercy. In America we
make laws and then hide them in dull
looking volumes which the public have
neither the time nor the inclination to
read. In this duchy of mine it was
different; you ran into a law on every
corner, in every park, in every public
building: little oblong signs, enameled,
which told you that you could not. do
something or other—"Forbidden!" The
beauty of German laws is that when
you learn all the things that you can
not do, you begin to find out that the
things you can do are not worth a
hang in the doing.
As soon as a person learned to read
he or she began life by reading these
laws. If you could not read, so much
the worse for you; you had to pay a
guide who charged you almost as
much as the full cost of the fine.
The opposition political party in the
United States is always howling mili
tarism, without the slightest idea of
■what militarism really is. One side,
please, in Barscheit, when an officer
comes along, or take the consequences.
It' you carelessly bumped into him,
you were knocked down. If you ob
jected, you were arrested. If you
struck back, ten to one you received a
beating with the flat of a saber. And
never, never mistake the soldiery for
the police; that is to say, never ask
an officer to direct you to any place.
Thiii is rej:;y.rded in the light of an ia-
rcult. The cub lieutenants do more to
Heep a passable sidewalk—for the pas
S;ige of said cub lieutenants—than all
the magistrates put together. How
They used to swagger up and down
the Konigsstrasse, around the I'latz,
in and out of the restaurants! 1 re
member doing some side-stepping my
self, and I was a diplomat, supposed
to he immune from the rank discourte
sies of the military. Hut that was
early in my career.
In a year not so remote as not to he
readily recalled, the United States
packed me oft to Barscheit because I
hud an uncle who was a senator.
Some papers were given me, the per
mission to hang out a shingle reading
"American Consul," and the promise
of my board and keep. My amuse
ments were to lie paid out of niv own
pocket. Straightway I purchased three
horses, found a capable Japanese
valet, a: 1 selected a cozy house near
the barracks, which stood west of the
Volksgartcn, 011 a pretty lake. A beau
tiful road ran around this body of wa
ter, and it wasn't long ere the officers
began to pass comments on the riding
of "that wild American." As I detest
what is known as park riding, you may
very well believe that I circled the
lake at a clip which must have opened
the eyes of the easy-going officers. I
grew quite chummy with a few of
them, and I may speak of occasions
when 1 did not step off the sidewalk
as they came along. A man does more
toward gaining the affection of for
eigners by giving a good dinner now
and then than by international law. I
gained considerable fame by my little
dinners at Muller's rathskeller, under
the Continental hotel.
Six months passed, during which I
rode, read, drove and dined, the actual
labors of the consulate being cared for
by a German clerk who knew more
about the business than 1 did.
By this you will observe that diplo
The Princess Hildegarde.
macy has degenerated into the gentle
art of exciting jaded palates and of
scribbling one's name across pass
ports; I know of no better definition.
I forget what the largess of iny office
was.
Presently there were terrible do
ings. The old reigning grand duke de
sired peace of mind; and moving de
terminedly toward this end, he de
clared in public that his niece, the
young and tender Princess Hildegarde,
should wed the Prince of Doppclkinn,
whose vineyards gave him a line in
come. This was finality; the avuncu
lar guardian had waited long enough
for his willful ward to make up her
mind as to the selection of a suitable
husband; now he determined to take
a hand in the matter. And you shall
see how well he managed it.
It Is scarcely necessary for me to
state that her highness had her own
ideas of what a husband should be
like, gathered, no doubt, from execra
ble translations from "Oulda" and the
gentle Miss Kraddon. A girl of 20
usually has a formidable regard for
romance, and the princess was fully
up to the manner of her kind. If she
could not marry romantically, she re
fused to marry at all.
I can readily appreciate her uncle's
perturbation. I do not know liow many
princelings she thrust into utter dark
ness. She would nevei marry a man
who wore glasses; this one was too
tall, that one too short; and when one
happened along who was without vis
ible earmarks or signs of being shop
worn her refusal was based upon just
—"Because!" —a weapon as Invincible
RS the fabled spear of Parsifal. She
had spurned the addresses of Prince
Mischler, laughed at those of the
Count of 'the short dash
indicates the presence of a hyphen)
CAMERON COUNTY PRESS, THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 19, 1907
and General Muerrisch, of the em
peror's body-guard, who was, I'm sure,
good enough—in his own opinion—for
any woman. Kvery train brought to
tin! capital some sulfor with a c«a
sonatcd, hyphenated name and a pedi
gree as long as a bore's idea of a
funny story. Hut the princess did not
care for pedigrees that were squint
eyed or bow-legged. One and all of
them she east aside as unworthy her
consideration. Then, like the ancient
worm, the duke turned. She should
marry Doppelkinn, who, having 110
wife to do the honors in his castle,
was wholly agreeable.
The Prince of Doppelkinn reigned
over tlie neighboring principality, if
you stood in the middle of it and were
a baseball player, you could throw a
stone across the frontier in any direc
tion. But the vineyards were among
the finest in Europe. The prince was
a widower, and among his own people
was affectionately styled "der Rot
nasig," which, I believe, designates an
illuminated proboscis. When he wasn't
fishing for rainbow trout he was sleep
ing in his cellars. He was often miss
ing at the monthly reviews, but no
body ever worried; they knew where
to find him. And besides, he might
just as well sleep in his cellars as in
his carriage, for he never rode a horse
if he could get out of doing so. He
was really good-natured and easy-go
ing, so long as no one crossed him se
verely; and you could tell him a joke
once and depend upon his understand
ing it immediately, which is more than
1 can say for the duke.
Years and years ago the prince had
had a son; but at the tender age of
three the boy had run away from the
castle confines, anil no one ever heard
of him again. The enemies of the
prince whispered among themselves
that the boy had run away to escape
compulsory military service, but the
boy's age precluded this accusation.
The prince advertised, after the fash
ion of those times, sent out detectives
and notified his various brothers; but
his trouble went for nothing. Not the
slightest trace of the boy could be
found. So he was mourned for a sea
son, regretted and then forgotten; the
prince adopted the grape arbor.
I saw the prince once. I do not
blame the Princess Hildegarde for her
rebellion. The prince was not only
old; he was fat and ugly, with little,
elephant-like eyes that were always
vein-shot, restless and full of mischief.
He might have made a good father,
but I have nothing to prove this.
Those bottles of sparkling Moselle
which he failed to dispose of to the
American trade he gave to his brother
in Barscheit or drank himself, lie
was 68 years old.
A nephew, three times removed, was
waiting for the day wnen he should
wabble around in the prince's shoes.
He was a lieutenant In the duke's
body-guard, a quick-tempered, heady
chap. Well, he never wabbled around
in his uncle's shoes, for he never got
the chance.
I hadn't been in Barscheit a week
before I heard a great deal about the
princess. She was a famous horse
woman. This made me extremely anx
ious to meet her. Yet for nearly six
months 1 never even got so much as a
glimpse of her. Half of the six months
she was traveling through Austria, and
the other half she kept out of my way,
—not intentionally; she knew nothing
of my existence; simply, fate moved us
about blindly. At court she was in
variably indisposed, and at. the first
court ball she retirsc! before I arrived.
I got up at all times, galloped over all
roads, but never did I see her. She
rode alone, too, part of the time.
ito 13 ra CONTINUED.}
WW
PULLING FENCE POSTS.
A Hard Task Made Easy by Use of
Plank and Chain. •
An easy and practical method of
j pulling posts, by which all digging
| and had labor is eliminated, is
j shown in cut. Take a plank, 1 ft.
! wide, 4 ft. long, and make a V-shaped
notch at one end, nailing on several
1 crosspieces to prevent splitting. This
! plank is used to change the hori
| zontal draft to the vertical. Placo
one end of the chain around the
i post close to the ground, Incline the
| plank against the post so the lower
; end will be IV£ ft. from the base of
| the post, place the chain In the notch
J of the plank, hitch the team to the
I post and start up. In a few seconds
j the post is clear of the ground. In
j moving fences, sa>-3 the Farm and
| Home, the chain should be attached
to the rear axle of the wagon so the
posts may be loaded and hauled to
the new location.
THE FARMER BOY.
i Temper the Work to His Strength
and Let Him Have His Play Time.
Every farmer desires to keep his
| boy at home as long as he can do so,
| that he may thus live a protected life
I as long as possible. This is right. It
j is a mistake to permit the farm boy
| to launch out for himself at too ten
! der an age. The father of the boy
| must remember that the muscles of
I the boy are not hard like his own and
I that he cannot do the same amount of
j work as he himself can do, with
; equal ease. The muscles of a grow
ing boy are soft, for they are con
stantly being increased in size by the
j addition of new material.
Many farm boys are driven from the
| farm by too hard work. They are
made to take the place of a hired man
at a very early age and the father
often forgets that they have not the
same indifference to pleasures as him
self. The boy needs a good deal of
recreation and a chance to mingle
with other farm boys. The farm boy
should have a fair chance at the pleas
ures of childhood and youth, as the
city boy has. His work should be
carefully limited.
The usual farm boy is a worker
anyway. He early learns to do the
most difficult tasks on the farm, says
Farmers' Iteview, and Is worth much
more to his parents than any hired
man is worth. His parents should
therefore study him and his needs.
His needs include many things besides
the food he gets and the clothes he
wears. ''All work and no play makes
Jack a dull boy," is an old saying,
but strictly true. Many a farm boy
has been overworked Into a dullness
that has lasted him his life through.
POINTERS.
A hedgehog—the neighbor who
won't keep up his fences.—Farm Jour
nal.
Some farmers find great advantage
in sowing rye at the last working of
the corn. Might try a patch.
The manure spreader has decreased
the number of rich barnyards and in
creased the number of rich fields in
stead.
Don't sell any clover hay if you
have stock to feed it to. It is worth
nearly as much for fertilizer as for
feed.
Sow only the plumpest, nicest wheat
this fall. Run it through the fanning
mill and take all tho foul stuff out.
Good seed Is half the crop.
The cost of a pair of farm scales
will be saved the first year in prevent
ing the lossos from guessing at
weights of other products bought or
■old.
The hoe is one of the most useful
implements on the farm, but it is not
automatic in Its operations. To be
effective it needs a strong arm and a
willing hand.
Seed Alfalfa In Fall.
On account of the more abundant
growth of weeds and grass in the
spring and early summer, late summer
or early fall seeding of alfalfa is rec
ommended by tho Pennsylvania Ex
periment Station. If the land Is cul
tivated during the early part of the
season and seeded to alfalfa in July or
August, Ideal conditions, so far as the
establishment of the young plants is
concerned, will be most nearly ap
proached.
Don't Break the Hammer.
Look out.! You'll brenk that hammer
handle trying to pull that rvsty nail.
Hit tho nail a rap or two, driving it
into the wood; then It will come out
easy, says Farm Journal. When part
way out, put a bit of hard wood un
der the head of the hammer for a ful
crum. See how nice It works.
The Provident Farmer.
"He doesn't have to soli his crops,"
is the way farmers Bpeak of a neigh
bor who is getting ahead. There is u
whole volume in that expression. '
JUST A GENTLE HINT.
One Remedy Appearances Indicated
Nobleman Had Never Tried.
The earl of Surrey, afterward elev
enth duke of Norfolk, who was a no
torious gourmand and hard drinker
and a leading member of the Reef
steak club, was so far from cleanly in
his person that his servants used to
avail themselves of his fits of drunken
ness—which were pretty frequent, by
the way—for the purpose of wash
ing him. On these occasions they
stripped him as they would a corpse
and performed the needful ablutions.
He was equally notorious for his
horror of clean lim-a One day, on
his complaining to Dudley North at
his club that he had become a per
fect martyr to rheumatism and tried
every posslhle remedy without suc
cess .the latter wittily replied:
"Pray, my lord, did you ever try
a clean shirt?"
BRUTALITY OF MEDICAL ETHICS.
A Great Surgeon Barred from Mem
bership in Medical Association.
(From the National Druggist for June,
1907.)
Dr. Augustus Charles Bernays, who
died a few days ago in St. Louis, was,
probably, the foremost surgeon in the
United States. Ilis fame was co
extensive with the civilized world. He
was not only an operator of the high
est order, but a tireless and exhaus
tive worker in the field of original
surgery. He performed the first suc
cessful Caesarian section in 18S9 in
St. Louis, and also the first successful
coeliotomy for gunshot wound 01 the
abdomen and the first gallstone opeva
tion in Missouri. A record held by
Dr. Bernays has never been equaled:
Out of eighty-one successive cases
of appendicitis which necessitated
operations, seventy-ono in succession
were with perfectly satisfactory re
sults, the seventy-second patient fail
ing of recovery, hut the subsequent
nine cases were successfully treated.
And yet, with such a record, match
less as was his skill, varied and ex
tensive as was his learning, wonder
ful as were his accomplishments, he
r-as not considered, by the American
Medical Association, as worthy of
membership in that organization.
No charges were ever brought
against him which, in the remotest
degree, reflected on his qualifications
aB a surgeon; his moral character was
never the subject of attack; he was
never accused of having done any
thing unbecoming a man or a gentle
man. "The head and front of his of
fending had this extent —no more!"
He dared to think! He refused to
mold his opinions and to govern his
actions by the arbitrary rules which
those whom he knew to he his infer
iors had set up for his guidance! In
other words, he could not regard the
Code of Ethics of the American Medi
cal Association as being inspired, or
having any binding authority on him
where his judgment told him it was
wrong. And so, twenty years ago
or more, on account of some trivial in
fraction of this sacred "Code," a
movement was started to expel him
from the local association, which was
only defeated by his hastily sending
in his resignation. As membership in
the A. M. A. is dependent upon mem
bership in the local and State socie
ties, his name was dropped by the
national organization.
And so, though he had saved thou
sands of lives; though other physi
cians had profited by his art; this
brilliant surgeon; this great and able
man, has, during all these years, been
an outcast —a medical "scab;" not
recognized as "ethical" or worthy of
fellowship by that body of physicians
banded together in the American Med
ical Association!
And this is the association which,
under pretense of working for the
public good, is, in reality, only seeking
to control Congress and the State
Legislatures in the interest of their
own selfish schemes; which is trying
to create a Cabinet position and to
place one of its members in that po
sition; which is endeavoring by law
to exclude from the uso of the mails,
all manufacturers of medicines who
do not comply with the absurd re
quirements that they choose to set
up; which, in short, is trying to put
upon the statute books of State and
nation laws that will, in effect, estab
lish a kind of medical priesthood, to
which only their own members will be
eligible with power and control over
the health and lives of the people!
God help the druggists, the drug
manufacturers, physicians not mem
bers of their guild, and the people
generally, if this association ever suc
ceeds in its undertaking, if it does,
it will, after the fashion of the labor
unions, dictate a "closed shop," and
say to doctors who prefer to be inde
pendent, "You must join our union
or, failing to do so, compel them to
get out of the business. It will say
what medicines shall be taken, and
how they shall be made. It will hedge
the people about with a lot of petty
regulations under pretense of protect
ing the public health. In fine, a medi
cal bureaucracy will be established tc
tyrannize over the people.
Let no man call this a false alarm.
If there are those who are inclined
to do so, iet them read the journal of
the A. M. A. Let them scan the
proceedings of the association, held
always behind closed doors, and care
fu'lv edited, as they are, before they
ave published in its official organ. Ii
'.hey will do this they will see that we |
are not trying to create a bugaboo to j
frighten their timid souls.
This is true philanthropy that buries
not its gold In ostentatious charity, I
but builds its human hospital in th«
human hear Thorold.
ALL HAIL PE HU-NA.
A Case of
STOMACtUfIJMRRH.
r '//.{, "■ • - < i\\i
u
w
I , '
Miss Mary O'Brien, 306 Myrtle
j Ave., Brooklyn, N. Y., writes:
"Pcruna cured me in five weeks
| of catarrh of the stomach, after
j suffering for four years and doctor
ing without effect. In common with
other grateful ones who have been
benefited by your discovery, I say.
All hall to Peruna."
I Mr. 11. J. Henneman, Oakland, Neb.,
writes: "I waited before writing to you
about my sickness, catarrh of the stom
ach, which I had over a year ago.
"There were people who told me it
would not stay cured, but I am sure
that I am cured, for I do not feel any
more ill effects, have a good appetite anil
|am getting fat. So I am, and will say
| to all, I am cured for good,
j "I thank you for your kindness.
"Peruna will be our house medicine
: hereafter."
i Catarrh of the stomach is also known
I in common parlance as dyspepsia, gas
tritis ami indigestion. No'rnedicine will
I be of any permanent benefit except it
| removes the catarrhal condition.
Gained Strength and Flesh.
Miss Julia Butler, R. It. 4, Appleton,
Wis., writes she had catarrh of the
I stomach, causing loss of sleep and appe
j tite, with frequent severe pains after
| eating. She took Pernua, her appetite
; returned, she gained strength, flesh and
| perfect health.
SICK HEADACHE
« . Positively cured by
CARTERS
gEMS __ They also relieve DU
3TTLE tresafromDyspepsia,ln-
SjFsj IMrn digestion and Tjporiearty
H I Y Eating. A pftrfeet rem
-138 nil I A c, 'y Dimness, Nau
ffclj aea, Drowsiness, Bad
Taste in the Mouth, Coat
ed Tongue, Pain in th«
- mutM l.Side, TOKPfD JJVTiB.
j They regulate the Bowels. Purely Vegetable.
SI4ALL PILL. SMALL DOSE, SMALL PRICE.
PA BIT IK I Genuine Must Bear
i Fac-Simile Signature
JPKIs.
WWP REFUSE SUBSTITUTES.
FBEE for
sand her absolutely free a large trial
K*. of rartine with book of instruc-
Uods and genuine testimonials. Send
four name and address on a postal carii»
e HA 8
" ■ , ■ MW na t)rane af
mctUme, such as nasal catarrh, pelvic
oauutn and inflammation caused by femi
nise ilia.; Bore eyes, Roro tliroac and
nwath, by directional treatment Its cur
ative powerover these troubles Is extra
ortluary and gives immediate reiftf.
Thousands of women are using aml rec
i onuuemdtng it every day. eo o'uts at
| toiKglstsorbymall. Remember,however,
XT Cos'ft) Volt MOTHIKd TO TR Y IX.
THE li. 1* AX TON CO., Boston, Jhu.
SPOT CASH
FOB SOLDIERS' HOMESTEAD RIGHTS
All soldiers who served ninety days or more
lu jlie federal army oc nalfy between Iftiil-lHfift,
and who made homestead entries/or less than
160 ai'refi on or before June 22/JS7-J, mdaiis
uu additional rlgtit in <lue someone ayd tJiat
it can be sold to mo for npqt x*afdr,
whether patent Issued or not. If soldier i»
dead, hi* heirs are entitled. Tlie right ■iffii'CiKU
anfolhuwn: i'irst, to the widow;
to the legal heirs, or next of kin. Talit TO old
soldiers, their wMowk; ehlidren, or next of kin,
atluut thiscluiufoof additional t'l;;ht* C?£t misy
right now and iind some of your
uiudcJiomestead entries in early <2fiss. It'Seany
oioupy. Vor furtlrrr informa firth
rade W. E. Motes, bOt-'alifornia Building, Den
ver, C oio.
A HICKS*
ffsCAPME
Jf rSV IMKEQIATEtY CU&KS
Indigestion
ySeSL-Vv • Trial bottle 13c At drugstore*
Gas or Gas
-1 READERS HAIzrJS:
!! ■ 1 ——m—i thing ad vertlsi lin
p] its columns should insist upon having
'I what they «sk for. refusing all substi
|| tutes or imitations.
jl J
jssHs aESTiirms]
112 In prcut rarl<»fT for sain at tno lowest prioey by C
I 4.N.LK:.TAKMINK»VM'AI'kKCU.,7&H.AdamiMt.,CI.iraff» 8
PATENTS AND TRADE MARKS ot>-
m w tatiidd,defendedMtilprosecutedb»
A LKXANI>CS «V l»OW} |,l„ Lim
(K*tabll«he<l 1867») W77thßt...N. W.,WASUINUTOH.Dwtt,
JitHjk A of information *rut fc'KKJt