'elhip t o s * 1 ' '*''&&&
HE ACTS AS PEACEMAKER.
"Barney," She Said, Impressively, "Are Ye th' Guardian iv th' Peace, or
Are Ye Not?"
In meditative mood Policeman Bar
ney Flynn was smoking his pipe in
front of his little home when the cry
of "Fight! Fight!" was raised down
the street and everybody started run
ning in that direction—that is, every
body but Flynn. He continued to puff
at his pipe as if there was nothing
unusual going on.
"Barney!" exclaimed Mrs. Flynn,
r.uddenly appearing in the doorway,
"why don't jo v a-ake up?"
"Divii ta-ako th' pipe," commented
Policeman Flynn. " 'Tis no betther
than th' flue iv th' kitchen shtove
that's always gettin' shtopped up."
"D'ye hear, Barney, that two fellies
is poundin' thimsilve* up over fer
ninst th' corner?" persisted Mrs.
Flynn.
"Ha-ave ye seen Terry foolin' with
th' pipe?" asked Policeman Flynn, ig
noring his wife's question. " 'Tis all
wr-rong an' I can't make it dr-raw at
all."
Mrs. Flynn's indignation at being
thus ignored was so great that she
promptly snatched the offending pipe
away from him.
"Barney," she said impressively, "are
ye tli' guardeen iv th' peace or are ye
not?"
"I am," he replied, "but I'm not th'
guardeen iv tli' fights. Are ye tired iv
me that ye wa-ant me f'r to mix it up
with two la-ads that's havin' a bit iv
throuble beehune thimsilves?"
"I wa-ant ye to show that ye're a
man an' a po-lisman," asserted Mrs.
Flynn. "They do be fightin'.'"
"1 m oft juty," protested Policeman
Flynn, "an' 'tis not on me beat anny
way. Sind in tli' riot-call if ye think
'tis r-rigght f'r to interfere. L,'ave me
have me pipe now, an' don't be afther
bother in' me. D'ye think I'm lukkin'
f'r a black eye?"
"I think ye're lukkin' f'r a ehanst
to show that ye're a coward," said
Mrs. Flynn, scornfully.
Now, ordinarily, Mrs. Flynn's asper
sions on her husband's prowess are
sufficient to rouse him to action, as has
been demonstrated on many occasions,
but this time the method failed.
'D'ye ray-mimber th' da-ay I come
home with me coat tore an' me
knuckles bleedin' an' a big lump over
me lift ear?" he asked.
"I do," answered Mrs. Flynn.
"I shtopped a fight that da-ay," said
Policeman Flynn, and then, after a
pause sufficient to enable his wife to
grasp the connection, he added: "D'ye
ray-mimber th' time Maloney wint to
th' hospittle f'r to be shtitelied up?"
"Iv coorse I do," admitted Mrs.
Flynn. *
"Ho shtopped a fijjht. that da-ay." re
marked Policeman Flynn. "I tell ye,
Mary, whin a ma-an wants f'r to fight
'tis r-right to I'ave him have his fill iv
it."
" 'Tis not juty," insisted Mrs. Flynn.
'But 'tis sinse," said the policeman.
"Ye see, Mary, 'tis all in knowin' how.
Whin a ma-an is fightin' mad 'tis a
small matther to him who lie does his
sherappin' with. He'll sta-rt in fight
in' wan ma-an an' wind up be fightin'
another, an' 'tis more satisfy in' to him
f'r to take a welt at th* peacemaker
than at anny wan ilse. If ye was on
tli' foorce, Mary, ye'd larn that ye niver
Bh'u'd interfere in a fight ontil ye
can lick both iv th' parties to it, f'r
'tis tin to wan that's what ye'll have
f'r to do."
"Thin ye won't shtop th' fight?"
suggested Mrs. Flynn.
"I told ye, Mary," returned the po
liceman, " 'tis all in knowin' how. Iv
coorse I'll shtop it whin 'tis time. I
ha-ave me eye on thim, an' I'm wait
in."
He glanced down the street again
and slowly rose to his feet.
"Whin two fellies 'is fightin'," he
said, "an' wan iv thim is gettin' th'
wor-rst. iv it, 'tis all r-right f'r to
shtep in, f'r th' la-ad that's bein' done
up will be gla-ad to have ye; but whin
'tis an even thing ye betther keep out
ontil th' both iv tliim ha-ave all they
want iv it. 'Tis not so ha-ard to han
dle a licked ma-an."
Juct then Terry came racing back
from the corner where he had been :
watching the fight.
"Oh, it's a bully fight!" cried the
hoy.
"An" fair?" asked Policeman Flynn.
"Sure," answered the boy.
"Nobody usin' br-rass knuckles or
br-ricks"or knives?"
"Oh, no! Reg'iar rough and tumble." j
"An' neither iv thim picked on th'!
other?" I
"No; it's an even thing. They've!
been threatening to got together for a I
month."
Policeman Flynn nodded solemnly.
"There do be times," he said, "whin
fightin' is in th' inth'rests iv peace. 1
ray-mimber whin there was th rouble
bechune Whalen an' Duffy; they had
no liss than tin little fights that was
shtopped an' they fin'ly got to heavin'
br-ricks at each other ontil Duffy got
his head br-roke, whin if they'd been
lift alone th' llr-rst time 'tw'u'd'va
been all over with nothla' wor-rsc than
a pair iv black eyes."
' 'Tis not f'r you to pa-ass on th'
la-aws but to infoorce tliim," asserted
Mrs. Flynn, warmly. "Ye sh'u'd
j shtop th' fight."
| Iv coorse," answered Policeman
I Flynn, "an" 'tis what I intind f'r to do.
Terry, c'u'd I lick th' two iv thim?"
"No-o," replied Terry doubtfully;
; "not yet. There's a lot of fight in
i them yet."
"But they're near to th' finish?" sug
| gested Policeman Flynn.
"Yes; they're getting winded," ad-
I mitted Terry.
Policeman Flynn took his boy to one
j side and whispered to him. Terry
J nodded and started back to the cor
j ner, where the men were still spar
j l ing and occasionally clinching. Po
liceman FJynn took out his watch and
looked at it. ,
"In wan minute," he said to his
wife, "I'll give ye an illusthration iv
th' majesty iv th 'la-aw; I'll show ye
j how th' wise po-lisman shtops a fight
I without gettin' his head br-roke or
j makin' throuble f'r himsilf be sindin*
j thim to th' station an' havin' to ap
pear ag'n thim In th' po-lis court.
Wa-atcli me."
"I m wa-atchin' ye," returned Mrs.
Flynn, somewhat contemptuously.
"As I tol' ye befoor," continued Po
liceman Flynn, " 'tis all in knowin'
how an' choosin' ye-er time r-right.
Ye undherstand th' thing is to shtop
th' fight without th* nuisance iv liavin'
to arrist anny wan, an' the reppyta
tion iv a ma-an f'r doin' things an'
I ermittin' no nonsense counts f'r a lot.
Th' fact is, Mary, ye don't know th'
I kind iv a ma-an I am an' th' wa-ay th'
j vi'lators iv th' la-aw luk on me. 'Tis
j betther than tin to wan they've been
watchin' me iver since th' r-row be
gun, an' whin I ta-ake wan shtep that
wa-ay 'twill be all off. Oho! they
know me, f'r sure they do!"
"I'm wa-atchin' ye," said Mrs.
( Flynn, sarcastically.
Policeman Flynn gave her a re
proachful glance, settled his helmet
firmly on his head, and started toward
'I
The Two Combatants Ran.
the corner. In an instant there was
A commotion in the crowd, the two
combatants ran, and the spectators
scattered.
"I tol' ye so," said Policeman Flynn,
turning to his wife again.
"D'ye mean to sa-ay," demanded
Mrs. Flynn, "that gr-reat rep
pytation as a po-lisman is what
shtopped the fight?"
"M-m-m, well," returned Policraian
Flynn, " 'tis half reppytation an' 'tis
half bein' wise an' knowin' th' right
wa-ay iv doin' a thing."
Mrs. Flynn said notbirg in reply
but when Terry came back she called
him to her.
"Terry," she said, "what did ye-er
father say to ye befoor ye wint back i
to th' er-rowd?"
"He told me," answered Terry, "that j
the moment he started in that direo- I
tion I should start the cVy: 'Police! i
Here comes the patrol wagon!' and 1
did it." '
(Copyright, 1 f!0«, by Joseph I?. Bowles)
(Copyright, by the Century Co.)
Nothing is more easy than to de
ceive ourselves, as our affections are I
uubtle persuaders.—Demosthenes.
CAMERON COUNTY PRESS, THURSDAY, JANUARY 3, 1907.
NOT LOOKING FOR ADVICE.
"Phln" Had His Own Reason* for
Most Peculiar Action.
• .
Somfi years ago there lived In the
village of Vienna, Me., a man by the
name of Phineas Jones, commonly
known at "Phin." Among other faults,
"Phln" had an unfortunate love for
something more fiery than soda water.
On one occasion he had driven to
Augusta, about 20 miles distant, and
during his day in town had imbibed
more than was good either for his
pquanlmity or his clearness of brain.
Returning at nightfall to the livery
stable where he had put up his outfit,
he undertook to harness his own
horse, to the delight of the stable
boys.
He managed to get the harness on,
after much trouble, but when ho un
dertook to place the horse between
the thills, he led her in with her aston
ished face toward the dasher. One of
the stable boys, convulsed with laugh
ter. called out:
"Here, 'Phin,' hadn't you better turn
your horse 'round?"
"Phin," in no mood to brook inter
ference, faced the boy with maudlin
dignity, and, steadying himself against
the wagon-wheel, replied, solemnly:
"Young man (hlc), p'raps you don't
know (hie) which way I'm goin'!"
DISFIGURING SKIN HUMOR.
Impossible to Get Employment, as
Face and Body Were Covered with
Sores—Cured by Cuticura.
"Since the year 1894 I have been
troubled with a very bad case of ec
zema which I have spent hundreds of
dollars trying to euro, and I went to
the hospital, but they failcJ to cure
me, and it was getting worse all the
time. Five weeks ago my wife bought
a box of Cuticura Ointment and one
cake of Cuticura Soap, and I am
pleased to say that I am now com
pletely cured and well. It was im
possible for me to get employment,
as my face, head and body were cov
ered with it. The eczema first ap
peared on the top of my head, and it
had worked all the way around down
the back of my neck and around to my
throat, down my body and around the
hips. It itched so I would be obliged
to scratch it, and the flesh was raw.
I am now all well, and I will be
pleased to recommend the Cuticura
Remedies to all persons who wish a
speedy and permanent cure of skin
diseases." Thomas M. Rossiter, 290
Prospect Street, Ea3t Orange, N. J.,
Mar. 30, ISOS.
Apple Orchard Made Money.
The Dover Sunshine publishes an
interesting story of success in orchard
ing in that rich irrigated section of
Benton county. Eleven years ago, ac
cording to the editor, one of the pres
ent prominent citizens began making
a home. He had spent 2. r > years as a
railroad man, and desired a change,
His little tract of six acres was set to
apple trees. There were but two va
rieties, the pippins and Spitzenbergs.
In three years the trees began bearing
fruit. At the end of ten years the
total income from that orchard was
$9,952. The land originally cost $55
an acre, and an additional $45 an acre
for clearing and planting.— Seattle
Post-1 ntel 1 igencer.
Seamen of Mature Age.
Lord Charles Beresford, who has
Just been given the highest sea com
mand in tie British navy, with the
rank of admiral, is In his sixty-first
year. Admiral Bosanquet, who relin
quishes the particular service squad
ron, is 63. or a year older than any
American officer on th« active list.
The new commander of the Mediter
ranean station. Sic Charles I)rury, is
87. Vice Admiral Curzon-Howe, the
new head of the Atlantic fleet, is 56.
The chief of the new home fleet, Rear
Admiral liridgnian, who is 58, did not
reach his present rank until he was
55. Prince Louis of Battenberg, sec
ond in command of the Mediterranean
squadron, is 52. Farragut was CO
years of age before he obtained flag
rank and CI when lie fought his great
est battle.
A Great Outside Remedy.
Most pains are of local origin—a
"crick" in the back, a twinge of rheu
matism, a soreness all over arising
from a cold —are all cured by outside
applications. The quickest, safest and
most, certain method is Allcock's
Plas'ter, known the world over as a
universal remedy for pain. They never
fail, they act promptly, they are clean
and cheap. You can go right ahead
with your work while the healing pro
cess goes on. Sixty years' use has
given them a great reputation.
Why German Ship Was Favored.
Sir West Rldgeway, until lately
governor of Ceylon, returned to Eng
land from that country in a German
steamship. The question was raised
in the house of commons why he had
not traveled on a British vessel. The
colonial secretary explained that Sir
West was allowed to take his pet dog
with him on the German ship, a priv
ilege the English ships had denied
him.
Have No Confidence in Gunners.
Notwithstanding some recent good
gun records on British warships the
admiralty still seems to lack confi
dence. The plan to make a target of
the wrecked and abandoned battleship
Montague on Lundy island has been
abandoned, for fear the gunners might
destroy a lighthouse that is In tho
neighborhood.
I'II.K.H CURED IX O TO !4 DAT*.
t»-nr.. u»j case
, , U'liid. l'U'RduiK or l*roirujinu I'llea in
j lo 1< Ouya or inonuy relunded. 6«o
Lots of women get married before
ttcy cr.n afford to.
I Dyeing if as onpv as washing when
PUTNAM FADELESS DY£S are used.
Ask your druggist.
Men who pose as judges of human
nature get a good many hard bumps.
Mr*. Wlnslow'H Soothing Syrup.
For children softens* the minus, reduces in
flammation allays |»ain. cut o» wind cuik-. ZJr u buttle.
A one-sided affair is aU right if it
happens to be a bright side.
TO OI RE A COLD I* ONE I>AY
Take I.AXATIVK IlltOMO Quinine Tablets. I>riiß-
BistM refund monev it It falls fO cure. K. W
liKOVE S signature is on each box. »'6c.
He hastens to repentance who hasti
ly judges.—Publius Syrua.
Garfield Tea, the Ilerb laxative, is mild
and potent; take it for constipation and
to regulate a sluggish liver.
The letter carrier expects every
body on his route to take things as
they come.
FITS, St. Vitus Dance and all Nervous
Diseases permanently cured by Dr. Kline's
Great Nerve Restorer. Send for Free $2.00
trial bottle and treatise. Dr. R. 11. Kline,
Ld., 931 Arch St.. Philadelphia, Pa.
Otto Schlick, the noted marine en
gineer, of Hamburg, now proposes that
a heavy wheel be mounted on a verti
cal axis, so as to prevent the rolling of
the ship—acting on the principles of
the gyroscope.
How's This?
Wo offer One Hundred I) liars Reward for any
:a*e of Catarrh that cannot bo cured by Hall's
Catarrh Cure.
T. J. CHENEY A CO., Toledo. O.
We. the undersigned, have known F. J. Cheney
for the last 15 yearn, and helleve blm perfectly hon
orable in all business transactions and tlnanelally
able to carry out aoy obligations made by bis Arm.
WALDINO, K INN AN 6U MARVIN,
Wholesale Druggists, Toledo, O.
nail's Catn;.h Cure Is taken internally, acting
directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the
system. Testimonials sent free. Price7scents per |
bottle. fioM by ill Prufcgtsta.
i'ajte liaii's 1 amliy Pills for constitution.
Bull Was Up to Dater.
"Good gracious," said the woman
chauffeur, "that, bull seems awfully
angry, doesn't he?"
"It's your red automobile, ma'am,"
explained the farmer.
She flushed and bit her lip.
"I know it is an old-fashioned 1904
model," she murmured, "but who'd
have thought a stupid old country bull
would notice that?"
[WHAT JOYXHEY BRING!
J LB EVERY HOME !
I as with joyous hearts and smiling faces they romp and play—when in health —and i
how conducive to health the games in which they indulge, the outdoor life they
enjoy, the cleanly, regular habits they should be taught to form and the wholesome
diet of which they should partake. How tenderly their health should be preserved, I
not by constant medication, but by careful avoidance of every medicine of an injuri- |
cus or objectionable nature, and if at any time a remedial agent is required, to assist I '
nature, only those of known excellence should be used; remedies which'are pure I
cxfid wholesome s.nd truly beneficial in enect, like the pleasant l&x&tive remedy I
Syrup of Figs, manufactured by the California Fig Syrup Co. Syrup of Figs has | :
come into general favor in many millions of well informed families, whose estimate 0
of its quality and excellence is based upon personal knowledge and use. ' |
Syrup of Figs has also met with the approval of physicians generally, because I
they know it is v/holesome, simple and gentle in its action. ,We inform all reputa- I
I ble physicians «s io the medicinal principles of Syrup of Figs, obtained, by an I
j original method, irom certain plants known to them to act most beneficially and
presented in an agreeable syrup in which the wholesome Californian blue figs are '
u used to promote the pleasant taste; therefore it is not a secret remedy and hence /
we are free to refer to all well informed physicians, who do not approve of patent
G medicines and never favor indiscriminate self-medication.
• Please to remember and teach your children also thai the genuine Syrup of Figs ®
always has the full name of the ComDany— California Fig Syrup Co.—plainly ®
| printed on the front of every package and that it is for sale in bottles of one size I
J only. If any dealer offers any other than the regular Fifty cent size, or having i
I printed thereon the name of any other company, do not accept it. If you fail to get /II
| the genuine you will not get its beneficial effects. Every family should always have ill
l\ a bottle on hand, as it is equally beneficial for the parents and the children l\
a laxative remedy is required.
FARMS THAT GROW
"NO. I HARD" WHEAT
mmW>K] Sffif.
rVI 'liltrSzTOrt Hied in the Canadian
Iy l iyjrfer* Jt West where lloine
{ #[y> C I *5rtWL steads of 160 acres ran
l,e attained free bv
I every pettier willing
I able to coniplv
I igTr TTTrnW with the Homestead
Regulations. During
the present year a large portion of
New Wheat Growing Territory
(HAS BEEN MADE ACCESSIBLE TO MAR
KETS BY THE RAILWAY CONSTRUCTION
that has been pushed forward so vigorously by
the three groat railway companies.
For literature and particulars address SUPER
INTENDENT OP IMMIGRATION, Ottawa.
Canada, or the following authorized Canadian
Government A pre tit :
H. M. WILLIAMS, Law Building, Toledo, Ohio.
Meutiou this paper.
BASHiYOORFUR
H no matter where you are. If you trap or buy I
H fur write to-day for our new plan to make ex- |
CCRRY HIDE 4 FUR C0.,C088Y, , fh j
To Abolish the Cuirass.
The French ministry has decided
to abolish the cuirass. There are 13 j
regiments of cuirassiers in the French
army. The weapon has been famous
for a hundred years, and its traditions 1
from Austerlitz to Worth are among
the most glorious of the French army, j
| The Kind You Have
Always Bought
similating IhcFootfandßcgiila- ® _ jf
ling the Stomachs and Bowels of « Bears the
Promotes DigestioiliClieerful- ill 4
ness and Rest.Contains neither l® p £r % .
Opium,Morpltine nor Mineral. || 01 #|\ *\ 112 /
NOT "Narcotic. J | #* \\® ft#
Iltapf of OUI DrSAMUELPITCttKR ,|| . \fi\
Sectl~ . I ffl •Hf \A
Alx St.ma * I ffl |ML «
Kock*lU Saitt — J 'IV JjjFl ■
> I fa tln® In
Jft utrboneMXrfft. * I I I H j| v Eg!
I It II JL/b -
CUvifud Siiaqr I •s£! &A w M
w«Ay«v/i r/aver. ) jmSw jp C J
A perfect Remedy forConslitvi J! 112 M W* US O
Hon,SourStouiach,Diarrhoea If; P skv
Worms .Convulsions .Feverish- || | Wn (P 5 tf|
I nc3s and Loss of Sijeep. fi 0 T UV 8 T
| Tac Simile Signature of
__ I Thirty Years
THC OE*TAUII COMPANY. NSW TORN CITY.
NO MORE MUSTARD PLASTERS TO BLISTER.
TK£ SCIENTIFIC AND MODERN EXTERNAL COUNTER-IRRITANT.
CAPISICUM
VASELINE
EXTRACT OF THE CAYENNE PEPPER PLANT
A OUICK, SURE. SAFE AND ALWAYS READY CURE FOR PAIN.—PRICE
15c.—IN COLLAPSIBLE TUBES-AT ALL DRUGGISTS AND DEALERS. OR
BY MAIL ON RECEIPT OF I Sc. IN POSTAGE STAMPS. DON'T WAIT
TILL THE PAIN COMES-KEEP A TUBE HANDY.
A substitute for and superior to mustard os any other plaster, and will not
blister the most delicate skin. The pain-allaying and curative qualities of
the article are wonderful. 11 will stop the toothache at once, and relieve
Headache and Sciatica. We recommend it as the best and safest external
■ counter-irritant known, also as an external remedy for pains in the chest I
and stomach and ail Rheumatic, Neuralgic and Gouty comjJfaints, A trial ■
will prove what we claim for it, and it will be found to be invaluable in the
household and for children. Once used no family will be without it. Many
y people say "it is the best of all your preparations." Accept no preparation B
of vaseline unless the same carries our label, as otherwise it is not genuine. K
0 SEND YOUR ADDRESS AND WE WILL MAIL OUR VASE- R
| LINE PAMPHLET WHICH WILL INTEREST YOU.
CHESEBROUGH MFG. CO.
17 STATE STREET. NEW YORK CITY
i m inn iiin iii —am————— —jl
soro eyes TuLe { Thompson's Eye Water
QCFIARCS STARCH w ° y iwi aim
GSFWIFLL TELLS HOW TO FIJVRJFFFL
SASSAFFITAFFL MAKE CEMENT FRWJ&2MA
Waterproof Buildintf Blocks: Fence Post*: Side Walk*,
Bruges; Roofs, Moors, etc. Write for Descriptive
Li (erstare.
Cement Institute
PMHITBE , SSES£gS
A. N. K.—C (:z-z— s2) CIS 3.
7