6
| MUSCULAR
I AILMENTS
The Old-Monk-Cure will
straighten out a contracted
muscle In a jiffy.
ST.
JACOBS
OSL
Don't play possum with pain,
but 'tends strictly to business.
Price 25c ind 50c
Sweet Thoughts.
An Atchison father is very much
disgusted. He recently bought his
•daughter a $75 gold watch, and she
Isn't as pleased with it as she was
■with a box of chocolates a young man
sent her. The watch from her fathehr
means nothing, but the chocolates
seem to mean enough to cause her
to sit and look out into the dark and
think, and think, hours at a time.—
Atchison Globe.
WORST CASE OF ECZEMA.
Spread Rapidly Over Body—Limbt
and Arms Had to Be Bandaged—
Marvelous Cure by Cuticura.
"My son, who i 3 now twenty-two
years of age, when he was four
months old began to have eczema on
bis face, spreading quite rapidly until
he was nearly covered. Wo had ail
the doctors around us, and some from
larger places, but no one helped him
a particle. The eczema was something
terrible, and the doctors said It was
the worst case they ever saw. At
times hi 3 whole body and face were
• covered, all but his feet. I had to
bandage his limbs and arms; his
ncalp was just dreadful. A friend
•teased me to try cuticura, and I be
gan to use all three of the Cuticura
Remedies. Ho was better In two
months; and In six months he was
well. Mrs. R. IJ. Rlsley, Plermont,
N. H., Oct. 24, 1905."
RATTLE OF THE RIVETER.
The Man from Oklahoma Thought It
Was a Woodpecker.
Charley's uncle from Oklahoma was
up town being shown the sights, he
having come in the day before with
a. few loads of steers, and Charley was
doing the honors.
They were walking along nn Grand
avenue discussing the tall buildings,
whon all of a sudden one of those
rackety riveting machines began ham
mering away at high speed on a top
story of a steel skyscraper building.
The old man stopped as if he'd run
against something. He turned his eyes
la the direction of the sound but
■could make out nothing. When he
turned to liis bewildered nephew his
•eyes were fairly popping.
"Great Scott!" lie exclaimed. 'But
I'd like to see that woodpecker. It
must be a whopper."—Kansas City
Star.
; —Positively cured by
f*ADTCDO t,ieso i' 1 "10 PiIl8 »
; vMl\9 Ll\u Tliey also relieve Di -
ami trt £ a from Dyspepsia, I n-
WITTLE digestion and Too Hearty
IWrD Eating. A perfect rem
ijsA E " tlii edy for Dizziness, Nausea,
1 Pi US. I Drowsiness, Bad Taste
/ fgfl in the Mouth, Coated
r Tongue, Pain In tho Bide,
Ss=="H 1 TOItPID LIVER. Tlioy
vegulato tho Bowels. Purely Vegetable.
SMALL PILL. SMALL DOSE, SMALL PRICE.
i Genuine Must Bear
SPITTLE Fac-Simile Signature
fes! 112
-■■ILJ REFUSE SUBSTITUTES.
A Positive
Ely's Cream Balm
h quickly absorbed. wg
'Cines ficlicf at Onco. m"SADW
It
heals and protects /Wfijl
■ tarrh and
iftway ,i Cold in «Vin
Head quickly, lie-|| HV
stores tho Senses of i ■ fcwiUi*
Taato and Smell. Full size 50cts., at Drug.
( £ists or by mail; Trial Size 10 cts. by mail.
Jily l}'" l hei'B,o6 Warren Street. iVewl'ork,
HI
i
NN
HE TRIES BIT OF STRATEGY.
When Policeman Barney Flynn ap
proached the door of the modest lit
tle house he knew that he had one of
the hardest jobs of his life before him.
The captain wished to see Mrs. Miller.
His reasons for this desire were not
known to Policeman Flynn, and equal
ly unknown were his reasons for not
going in person to her house instead
of sending for her. Many are the
strange things that happen in a police
station, and many are tho strange mo
tives that lie behind the strange ac
tions. It might be a matter of pride
in this instance or it might be a mat
ter of judgment. There is sometimes
an advantage not to be despised in be
ing able to select the place for an in
terview; the surroundings count for
much, and the one unfamiliar with
them is handicapped. So the captain,
presumably desiring to get certain
Information supposed to be in the pos
session of this woman, had sent for
her —and she had refused to come.
This in itself was surprising, for it is
not customary to send regrets tinder
such circumstances. For a moment
the captain seemed on the point of
going to the house himself, but he
thought better of it, and sent a more
Imperative message. The reply was
the same as before: She had done
nothing that put her at the beck and
call of the police, she didn't care to
see the captain, and she would not
come. Then he had sent for Flynn.
"I want to see that woman, and I
want to see her here," lie said. "Never
mind why. I have a few things here
that I think will jpake the interview
more effective here than it would be
there. If she knows what I think she
knows I intend to get it out of her,
but —well, all you've got to do is to
get her to come with you."
"M-m-m, now, is that all?" asked
Policeman Flynn, who had heard of
the fruitless efforts of two others in
that direction.
"That's all," said the captain.
"She ray-fuses to come, an' all I
ha-ave f'r to do is to make her
cha-nnge her mind?"
"That's it exactly."
"Are ye a married ma-an, captain?"
"Of course I am."
"I niver w'u'd ha-ave thought it,"
commented Policeman Flynn, where
upon tho captain laughed.
"You're such an ingenious and re
sourceful fellow, Flynn," he said, "that
I believe you can do it. The very fact
that she refuses to come makes me
k) J
''Why Don't If"
more confident that she can put me on
the track of certain people I am
after, but it's a mighty ticklish affair
as matters are now. I have — But
never mind that. You just get her."
"Iv coorse," returned Policeman
Flynn, as he retired, scratching his
head thoughtfully. " 'Tis easy said."
This is all that Flynn knew when he
rang the door bell, but he had been
doing a lot of thinking on his way
from the station. Ho had prepared a
nice little speech, which he had no
chance to deliver.
"So you've come to get mo. have
you?" she exclaimed the moment she
saw his uniform.
"I ha-ave," he replied, making an
elaborate bow.
"Well, I'll not go with you," she as
serted.
"I knew yo w'u'dn't." returned Po
liceman Flynn, promptly.
"Oh, you did!" retorted the woman,
sarcastically. "You knew it! Then
why did you come?"
" 'Tis a bet." said Policeman Flynn,
with unblushing effrontery. "L'ave me
In an' I'll tell ye about it. Oho! 'tis
a shtrange thing—ye'll shpllt yer
sides laughin', ye will so. Don't ye
be afraid iv rre," he went on, as he
gently forced his way into the house,
the woman being too astonished to in
terpose wny objection. "I don't wa-ant
ye; I w'u'dn't take ye annvhow, f'r 't
w'u'd ma-ake me lose me bet."
The woman made a stand In the
hall, and Policeman Flynn naturally
had to stop there also, but li" was
satisfied. He merely desired to get
far enough in, so that she cculd not
shut tho door In his face.
"Well, you're the most extraordinary
policeman that I ever saw!" she ex
claimed. "The idea of coming here
to settle a het! I don't believe a word
of it. You've come to get me."
"Iv coorse I ha-ave." admitted Po
CAMERON COUNTY PRESS, THURSDAY, DECEMBER 6, 1906.
liceman Flynn. "I've come f'r ye,
but not ixpectin' to get ye. D'ye see
lh' p'int? 'She'll not come,' say I
whin th' capt'in tells me f'r to dhrop
up here an' tell ye he wants to see ye.
'lv c-oorse she won't,' sayr the capt'in,
'but 'tis only fair to thry wanst more.'
Ye see, th' capt'in an' me knows wom
en."
"Oli, you do, do you?" was the sar
castic comment of the woman.
"Iv eoorse we do, betther," an
swered Policeman Flynn. "Ivery
ma-an knows woman; 'tis only women
that doesn't. So we got to ta-alkin' iv
it in th' station, an" ivery ma-an
there says ye won't come. ' Tis fool
ish,' they says, 'f'r to sind aftlier her
ag'in whin ther's 15 or 20 iv us here
that knows women like a book, all
sayln' that she won't come.'"
"Well, of all the conceit!" broke in
the woman, hotly. "Know women like
a book, do you? Why, you don't know
anything at all about her."
"Sure we do," said Policeman Flynn,
confidently.
"The absurdity of it!" exclaimed the
woman.
"Ye're not comin', are ye?" demand
ed Policeman Flynn.
"No, I'm not."
"There, ye ha-ave th' proof iv it,'
asserted Policeman Flynn, triumphant
ly. " 'Tis what we said. Oho! we're
a wise lot iv la'ads."
"I'm not afraid to come," insisted
the woman. "I know what your cap
tain wants, and it doesn't bother me
a bit, only I don't want to come."
"Iv eoorse not," acquiesced Police
man Flynn, "but ye're not comin'. I
Anew ye w'u'dn't."
"Then why did you come for me?"
asked the woman.
"Oho! I didn't tell ye iv it, did I?"
returned Policeman Flynn. leaning
comfortably against the post at the
foot of the stairs. " 'Twas all along
iv me wife. At th' station we'd give
up slndin' f'r ye ag'in, an' I was laugh
in' at th' idee iv annywan thinkin' ye'd
come whin she up an' says: 'Barney,'
she says, 'how d' ye know she'll not
come?' 'I know women,' says I. 'Ye're
a fool,' says she —"
"She's right," interrupted the
woman.
"How can ye say that," demanded
Policeman Flynn, "whin ye're provin'
she's wr-rong?"
"What else did she say?" asked the
woman.
" 'Twouldn't inth'rlst ye," asserted
Policeman Flynn. "She's like all th'
r-rest iv th' women—she thinks she
knows —an' she r-roasts me f'r thinkin"
I know. ' 'Ti.s like a ma-an,' she says,
'f'r to think he knows what a worn
p.n'll do an' to br-raggin' iv it.'
'But I'm right,' I says. 'Ye're not,'
says she; 'if ye're po-lite to her an' act
th' gintleman,' she says, 'she'll come.'
With that we ha-ave some wor-rds, th'
foolish woman thinkin' she knows th'
sex betther than me that's married to
a fine sample iv it, an* in th' ind she
lays a bet iv a new shawl ag'in a pair
iv winther gloves that ye'll come if
I ta-alk po-!it.e to ye an' don't thry f'r
to bluff ye. So here I am, an' I win."
"Oli. you do, do you?" retorted the
woman.
"Iv eoorse I do," said Policeman
Flynn. "I ha-ave th' gloves all picked
out. Oho! 'tis a gr-reat joke I ha-ave
on her. she thinkin' I didn't know
annything iv women. 'Twill be a les
son f'r her."
"I don't believe you," she said at
la?t.
"'Tis ail th' same to me," returned
Policeman Flynn, "so long a3 ye don't
come with me."
"I believe you think I'm afraid to
face the captain and answer his ques
tions."
"Niver," insisted Policeman Flynn.
" 'Tis only th' woman nixt door thinks
that. Ye Eee, I wint there ba mis
ta-ake," he went on, as ho saw her
(lush angrily, "an' whin I told her
what I was aftlier she di-rlcts me here,
an' says: 'But she won't go with ye,
though', f'r she's afraid iv the po-lis.' "
"Did she say that?" demanded the
woman.
"She seemed to know ye," said Po
liceman Flynn, blandly. " 'Tis a
slit range thing, too, whin ye think iv
wan woman knowin' another. If me
wife had as much sense she'd be havin'
a new shawl instid iv buyin' me a pair
iv gloves with fur on thim. That
woman nixt door do be havin' th'
sinse av a ma-an."
"Just about as much," returned the
woman. "I'm afraid, am I? And I'm
read like a book by a lot of lazy men
loafing about a police station, am I?
Well, you jwst wait here a minute."
"Where ye goin'?" asked Policeman
Flynn.
"I'm going to get my hat," was the
answer. "I always did despise that
woman next door anyway."
" 'Tis what I thought." chuckled Po
liceman Flynn to himself. "Ye're al
ways safe in figurin' on that with th'
woman nixt door."
"How did you do it, Barney?" asked
ono of th^m.
Thereupon Policeman Flynn looked
owlishly wise for a minute, and then
contributed this bit of philosophy to
the store of human wisdom:
" 'Tis easy to ma-ake a woman do
what ye wa-ant If ye can ke.-p her
from knowin' what it Is."
Nevertheless, to ease his conscience,
he bought his wife a shawl, much tc
her surprise.
(Copyright, lflOfi, tiy .Joseph H. Bowleg.)
NOVEMBER AILMENTS
TIICIR PREVE.\'TiON AND CURE.
November 13 the month of falling
temperatures. Over all tho temperate
regions the hot weather has passed
and the lirst rigors of winter have ap
peared. As the Kreat bulk of civilized
nations is located in the Temperate
— Zones, the effecl
of changing sea
sons is a ques
es? iinportance',
When the weath
er begins ta
change from warm to cold, when cool
nights succeed hot nights, when clear,
cold days follow hot, sultry days, tha
human body must adjust itself to thia
changed condition or perish.
The perspiration incident to warm
weather has been checked. This de
tains within the system poisonous
materials which have heretofore found
escape through the perspiration.
Most of the poisonous materials re
tained in the system by the checked
perspiration find their way out of the
body, if at all, through the kidneys.
This throws upon the kidneys extra
labor. They become charged and over*
loaded with tho poisonous excretory
materials. This has a tendency to in
flame tho kidneys, producing function
al diseases of the kidneys and some
times Bright's Disease.
Peruna acts upon the skin by stimu
lating tho emunctory glands and ducts,
thus preventing the detention of pois
onous materials which should pass
out. Peruna invigorates the kidneys
and encourages them to fulfill their
function in spite of tho chills and dis
couragements of cold weather.
Peruna is a
*°™ b '" a y° n of Pe-rn-na is a World
well-tried harm- „
less remedies Renowned Rem
that have stood c dy For Climatic/
the test of time. Diseases*
Many of these L_
remedies have be.?h used by doctors
j and by the people in Europe and
: America for a hundred years.
Peruna has been used by Dr. Hart
-1 man in his private practice for many
1 years with notable results. Its efticacj
has been proven by decades of use by
thousands of people, and has been
substantiated over and over by many
: thousands of homes.
GAVE DRUMMER A SCARE.
Delayed Telegram Suggested Awful
Possibilities.
"There was a traveling man," said
the night operator, "whose wife pre
sented him with a son while he was
out drumming up trade. The doctor
got the man's address, and, since his
wife was doing none too well, wrote
out a message giving him the news
and telling him to return.
"The doctor gave the message to
the cook, who couldn't read. She
forgot to send it, and tho next day the
drummer came home of his own ac
cord.
"lie stayed a day or two, found hla
wife doing all right, and set out on
his rounds again. Nothing, as it hap- I
pened, wa3 said about the forgotten
telegram.
"And at the end of the week the
telegram was remembered by the ;
cook. With an exclamation of horror
—you know she couldn't read —she
hurried to the office and sent to the
drummer that delayed message. When '
he got it that night he was terrified, j
What, he read was this:
"'Another addition—a son; your j
wife very iil; return at once.'
"He took the midnight train for j
home. lie was like a man in a trance. \
'Another?' he kept muttering in a
dazed voice, 'impossible!'
"On getting home lie was so reliev
ed when everything was explained to J
him that he decided not to lire the
cook, after all."
A DOCTOR'S TRIALS.
He Sometimes Gets Sick Like Other 1
People.
Even doing good to people is hard j
work if you have too much of It to do. i
No one knows this better than the
hard-working, conscientious family
doctor. He has troubles of his own—
often gets caught in tho rain or snow,
or loses so much sleep he sometimes
gets out of sorts. An overworked
Ohio doctor tells his experience:
"About three years ago as tho result
of doing two men's work, attending a
large practice and looking after the j
details of another business, my health J
broke down completely, and I was lit- 1
tie better than a physical wreck.
"I suffered from indigestion and
(onstipation, loss of weight and appe
tite, bloating and pain aft6r meals, j
loss of memory and lack of nerve
force for continued mental applica- !
tion.
"I became irritable, easily angered '
and despondent without cause. The }
heart's action became irregular and
weak, with frequent attacks of palpi
tation during the first hour of two
after retiring.
"Some Grape-Nuts and cut bananas I
came for my lunch one day and
pleased me particularly with the re
sult. I got more satisfaction from it
than from anything I had eaten for
months, and on further investigation
and use, adopted Grape-Nuts for my
morning and evaning meals, served
usually with cream and a sprinkle of I
salt or sugar.
"My improvement was rapid and
permanent in weight as well as in
physical and mental endurance. In r,
word, I am filled with the joy of liv
ing again, and continue the daily use
of Grape-Nats for breakfast and often
for the evening meal.
"The little pamphlet, 'The Road to
Wellville,' found in pkgs., is invari
ably saved and handed to some needy
patient along with the indicated rem
edy." Name given by Postura Co.,
Battle Creek, Mich. "I'here's a r«&
soa."
| Balcom & Lloyd. I
I ============== R
| I
'K 1
ij I
IWE have the best stocked
general store in the OOTID ty |
and if yon are looking for re- |
II liable goods at reasonable jg
H prices, we are ready to serve »
|j you with the best to be found. . =|
p Our reputation for trust- jg
li| worthy goods and fair dealing
r is too well known to sell any
•a , but high grade goods. U
|j Our stock of Queensware and 1!
B Chinaware is selected with
• great- care and we have some
p of the most handsome dishes 8j
jw ever shown in this section,
B) both in imported and domestic U
makes. We invite you to visit
us and look our goods over. Ij
I |
j Balcom & Lloyd. |
£-*Bfc *BkJOlUttka*.JtSkJOk * tk *2fe HOkJtotM fc*Sk JUk.a*ML JOt M ■*l
jjjj LOOK ELSEWHERE BUT DON'T FORGET M
£4 THESE PRICES AFiD FACTS AT
»4 JM
|| "ty" **
ii — ——— _ si
H I
M We carry in stock | . -1
fcig the largest line of Car- ~ J #
jjlj pets, Linoleums and fffffflffflffi 8? K
E3 Mattings of all kinds 7f -j"' , a Jf*
?§ ever brought to this - § M
M town. Also a big line •• IM| I M
of samples. ' wilU-UB M
A very large line of -.FOE THE GJSSf |j
Lace Curtains that can- W
II x r eV;rpL any - COMMIE LODGING sS
Art Squares and of fine books in a choke library
Rugs of all sizes and select the Ideal pattern of Globe- •
M kind, from the cheap- Wernicke "Elastic" Bookcase.
S?* est to the best. Furnished with bevel French
plate or leaded glass doors.
M Dining Chairs, j ro| » caL = °* i M
M Rockers and I GEO. J. LaBAR, I
(St it High Chairs. Sole Agent for Cumuvon County. fejl
A large and elegant ■ ■ *5
line of Tufted and ||
Drop-head Couches. Beauties and at bargain prices.
fcj
S3O Bedroom Suits, COC S4O F«'debonrd, quar- (TOO £2
solid oak at tered tak JSOU Pi
jjjjj S2B Bedroom Suite, CO I $32 Sideboard, quar
jpty solid oak at tered cak
1j6(1 room Sideboard| cjiiar- cic M
M solid oak at I ttied oak, wo If
A larpre line of Dressers from I Chiffoniers of all kinds and M
$8 up. all prices.
The finest line of Sewing Machines on the market,
£5 the "DOMESTIC" and "HLLRIEGE.' All dicp
- heads and warranted.
A fine line of Dishes, common grade and China, in
£*j sets and by the piece. P*
As I keep a full line of everything that goes to S3
M make tip a good Furniture store, it is useless to euum- M
M erate them all. ...
H Please call and see for yourself that lam telling M
fcg you the truth, and if you don t buy, there is no harm
doue, as it is no trouble to show goods.
I! GEO. J .LaBAR.
Mk Ml Mk. Mb Mk ilkJk A *Xk A iMCkdttk Mk Mi H3t. Utfc m