THE CAMERON COUNTY PRESS.
ESTABLISHED BY C. B. GOULD, MARCH, 1866.
VOL. 40.
D. S. HELMER & CO.
Real Estate
and Loans,
PORT ALLEAGNY,PA.
DEATH'S DOINGS.
CYRUS H. SAIiE.
Johnsonburg Ptess.
It is with a feeling of sadness that j
the Press is called upon to chronicle j
the death of Cyrus 11. Sage, which oc
curred at his home on Clarion Heights
Wednesday night about 10:45, after an
illness with typhoid fever that extend
ed over a period of the last six weeks.
His death was wholly unexpected, and
on the day of his death he was suffic
iently recovered from the fever that
he was able to sit up around the house
with his cloths on—in fact in a couple
of days more would have been able to
leave the house In which lie had been
Confined for such a long siege. Ho
stated to his family that he
was feeling almost like himself again,
and it was with much pleasure that
he anticipated a return to his daily
business life. However during that \
afternoon a change was noticed that 1
caused no small amount of alarm, and
the attending physician Dr. J. W.
Warnick, was called, but despite the
best of medical care and treatment
death resulted from a sudden failure of
the heart functions.
Cyrus H. Sage was born in Empori- |
um on Dec. 16th, 1861, and at the.
time of his unexpected death was aged i
44 years and one day. He was married |
about thirteen years ago to Miss Rose |
Burlingame, of Sizerville near Empori- j
um who survives together with four |
children, Susan, Sidney, Frederick j
and Elizabeth. Eight years ago here- j
moved to this place from Emporium j
to assist his only brother, Frod Sage *
who came to this place a couple of 1
years previous to that time and start-I
ed the Johnsonburg machine shop. '
The business grew and flourished, and ;
in a course of a few years, a nice es- j
tablishment and a growing trade was j
the result, in which the people of John- ;
sonburg took pride as an all home in- j
dustry. It is needless to state here
that in the loss of Mr. Sago the town
lose* one of its best citizens, a man
whose time and effort was spent to
wards the improvement of the town in
many ways, a man whose word aud !
business integrity was never doubted.
Funeral services will be held at his
late home Saturday morning at 9
o'clock, conducted by the Rev. S. R.
MacEwen, rector of St. Martin's
Episcopal church, and remains will be
taken to Emporium the place of his
birth for burial. Services will be held
at the Presbyterian church in Empori
um at one o'clock, conducted by the
Rev. S. R. MacEwen assisted by the
Revs. McCaslin and Robertson. The
pall bearers will be E. O. Aldrich,
Henry Hasbrouck, 11. P. Howe, W. E.
Zierden, Gus Florth, R. Stutz, W. S.
Gleasan and Wm. Martin.
The death of our former townsman
was a great shock to his many Empori
um friends. The Sage family, always
respected was for so many years close,
ly identified with the best interests of
our country and his death is deeply
deplored. Since leaving Cameron
county to reside at Johnsonburg, where
he built up a large and flourishing
manufacturing plant, employing thirty
or more men, he had by hard knocks
and industry arrived at a point where
the fruits of his active life had com
menced to mature.
The funeral of deceased, which was
held at Emporium on Saturday, Dec.
23, was largely attended by our citi
zens.
The following relatives accompanied
the bereaved widow and children, with
the remains to Emporium: Fred Sage
(brother) and wife, E. B. Sage, (cousin)
Bradford; Delos Burlingame, If. D.
liuriingame and wife, Altoona, Pa.; B
N. Burlingame, Ohicago-
NELKON.
Mrs. William Nelson, aged 88 vears,
three months and 25 days, of Sinna
mahoning, died at her home at three
p m. Sunday, Doc. 31st. About seven
weeks ago Mrs. Nelson f<*ll from a step
while coming from a visit to one of
her grand children, and the shock
along with her old ago caused her
death. Mrs. Elizabeth Nelson's maid
en name was Chapman. She win* born
at Dunstown, Pa , near Lock Haven,
Sept ftth. 1817 and came to Sterling
Run with her parents in ls2ti, wan mar
ried Sept. 1860 to Win Nelson of Hunt
ley. With the exception of one or two
years spent in Emporium the whole of
her married life was Mpen at HuiitU-y
until shortly before her husband'n
death in Dec. lsitH, since that time nhe
has made her home with her children, j
She is survived by one brother, Mr.
George Chapman of Sterling Run,who
is 90 years of age, five children, twen
ty-nine grand children and five great
grand children.
The remains were taken on Erie Mall
Tuesday morning from Sinnamahoning
to Huntley, the funeral being held
from the Huntley Church, interment
in the family lot in Huntley cemetery.
Funeral director Wylcoff of Sinnama
mahoning had charge. The sermon
was delivered by the Rev. Mr. Noble
of Sinnamahoning.
Mrs. Nelson was one of the sturdy,
faithful pioneer women of this section
of the county who has helped to build
our state by furnishing worthy chil
dren, who became good and honorable
citizens, as the survivors of her family
give a splendid example. She was
loved by all who knew her and her
loss will be greatly lelt. The following
relatives and friends were present at
the funeral: H. B. Nelson, son, Du-
Bois; Mrs. Fidelia Liphtner, daughter,
John Liglitner, son-in-law, Sinnama
honing, S. L. Winslow, son in-law,
Strait Creek. Grand children—Mr
and Mrs. Knoulou, Bert Lightner,
Robert Lightner, Frank Lightner, Ella
Lightner, Ophelia Lightner, Ellsworth
Fry, Clyde Krebs, Chas. Krebs, of
Sinnamahoning, Wm. Wylie, hrotlier
in-law, Bertha Wylie niece, Mrs. A. F.
Nelson, daughter-in-law, Wm. Nelson,
nephew, Wayne Nelson, nephew,
of Huntley. Friends—W. R. Smith,
B J. Collins and family, David Logue,
and Wm. Logue aud families, W.W.
Johnson, J. F. S.
POLLOCK.
Mrs. M. A. Rockwell received the
sad intelligence Wednesday, Dec. 27,
of the death of her cousin Mr. Frank
Pollock aged 44 years, which occurred
at Punxsutawney that morning, of
cerebral hemorrhage. Mr. Pollock re
sided at this place several years ago
and went from here to Ridgway where
he engaged in the Bakery business,
after which lie moved to Punxsutaw
ney. Having no near relatives Mrs
Rockwell had liis remains brought to
this place and the funeral was held
from the Presbyterian church last
Saturday morning, interment being
made in Newton cemetery.
«*•
MASON.
Mrs. Elizabeth Mason, of Sterling
Run, widow of John Mason died at tho
home of her daughter Mrs. Julia Straw
bridge Wednesday morning, at five
o'clock. She is survived by two sorts
and three daughters.
JOHNSON.
Dorothy, theinfant daughter of Mr.
and Mrs. Augustus Johnson, died
Wednesday, Dec. 27, from an illness
dating from its birth. Brief funeral
services were conducted by Rev.
Metzler last Friday.
Council Proceedings.
Regular meeting Borough Council,
Emporium, Jan. 2nd, 1906.
Present: Catlin, Butler, Friendle,
Green, Cramer, Laßar.
Absent: Norris, Marshall, Julian.
Minutes of last meeting read and ap
proved.
Moved by Butler, seconded by Green,
that Messrs. Johnson & McNarney be
requested to draft a resolution calling
for a vote of the people on the question
of increasing the Borough debt for
the purpose of completing the sewer
system. Carried,
On motiod by Cramer seconded by
Butler, the following bills wero order
ed paid.
Emporium Water Co., to Jan. WO6 . .. SOOO oo
W. P. Lloyd for Freight '2 is
Balcom & Lloyd Invoice 5 11
Mary Winfielil, Invoice 40
Hurry tt Coppersmith. Invoice 98
St. Marys Oae Co., lor December :J0 00
Westing E. & M. Co., Invoice t; 75
Atlantic fiefiaiug Co., Invoice 6 23
Robertson El Co., Invoice 10 H6
F. Vernon Heilman. Invoice 19 33
| Frank Muady, Invoice i«
Moved by Laßar, seconded by But
ler. that secretary be instructed to
order six Westinghouse Electric lamps.
Carried.
On motion by Laßar, seconded by
Butler, the eouncil then adjourned t«
meet Monday, Jan. Bth, at 7:30 p. m.
C. J. GOOIJNOUGH, Sec'y
Christmas Observance.
The Sunday School of the FirsS
Methodist Episcopal Church celebrat
ed the birth of the Saviour on Christ
mas Eve, with a program of singular
beauty and impressiveness in which
the Primary, Junior and Intermediate
grades sustained prominent parts.
The church was crowded. Three
tastefully decorated trees graced the
chancel and generous distributions of
candy and various suitable mementoes
of the season were distributed.
The interest of the occasion was en
hanced by the assistance of the church
organ and choir and an augmented
orchestra.
Married.
Miss Rosa Lord and Mr. J. H. Yocum,
of Cameron, were married by Justice
M. M. Larrabee on Friday evening,
Dec. 22nd at Mr. Larrabee's office in
Emporium. This popular young
couple have the best wishes of every
one for a long life of happiness and
prosperity.
Mr. Morton O. Ei<ley of Sinnama
honing and MisH Lucetta Murray,
eldest daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Albert
Murry of this place were united in
marriage Dec. 25, by M M. Larrabee,
J. P. The young couple have taken up
their abode at •Sinnamahoning. May
their life be a prosperous aud Inppy
one.
Farm for Sale.
A good farm for sale or rent; ad
dress,
WM HA< KKNCKItc.
41-U. Emporium, I'a,
"Liberty aud Union, One and Inseparable." —WEßSTEß,
EMPORIUM, PA., THURSDAY, JANUARY 4, 1906.
"What Happened to Jones."
Manager Butler is indeed fortunate
in having secured that merriest of farce
comedies, "What Happened to Jones,"
headed by the eminent comedian,
Richard Milton, and a celebrated cast
for his theatre next Wednesday even
ing, Dec. 10.
This play has been presented and
seen by more people than any other
production in the past twenty years
and is destined to remain at the head
of the procession for at least as many
years more. It is aptly called "the
masterpiece of farce comedy," there
isn't a moment when the audience is
not fairly bubbling over with merri
ment, laugh follows laugh, complica
tion follows complication in rapid suc
cession.
The story of the play tells of a Mr
Ebenezer Gondly, a profeessor of
anatomy who is persuaded to attend a
prize fight by his prospective son-in
law in order to develop his knowledge
of the "actual working of the human
system "
The place is raided and the old
gentleman in his escape from the
police, slides down a fire escape, tears ,
his clothes, and blackens his eyes. At
the fight is a gay young sporty drum
mer of hymn books ana as a side line
carries samples of playing cards. To
use his own words, "If the town is
dead, hymn books; if it's alive, play
ing cards. I catch them coming and
going."
Mr. Richard Milton who appears in
the title role has played the part over
five hundred times and is identified in
it in every city of prominence through-
the United States and Canada.
He is to appear in it for only a short
time this season as he goeft to London
to create the leading role in a new
farce. Besides Mr. Milton will be seen
such well known artists as Edward
Fawcett, DeVVitt C. Mott, Harry Dorn
ton, W. J. Kane, Juliette Atkinson,
Marie Rawson, Emma Gallagher,
Bartha Livingston, Edith M. Cooke
and Eva Marley.
It would he indeed difficult to muster
together an aggregation equal to this
one, in which each and every member
is suited' to his or her part perfectly.
Emporium Opera House, Wednesday
evening, Dec 10.
Wedding Hells.
A very pretty wedding took place on
Christmas morning at St. Mark's
church in which the contracting part
ies were Mr. Singleton Mortimer Lu
pold and Miss Rosa Bair, daughter of
Mr. and Mrs. Joshua Bair, of Fifth
street. The ceremony was performed
by the Rev. Father Downey, Miss
flair was born and raised in Kmporium
and is _ an estimable young lady
and enjoys the respect of all. Mr.
Lupoid has residod here the past two
years and is well spoken of by his ac
quaintances. After the ceremony din
ner was served at the bride's home to
relatives and a few intimate friends
after which they all enjoyed a straw
ride to the Junction, and at that place
gave the couple a warm reception until
the 12:25 train east, when they depart
ed for Philadelpiha, the home of the
groom to spend their honeymoon, after
which they will reside at Olean. The
PRESS extends congratulations and
best wishes
Married at Buffalo.
Miss Dora P. Longan, of Milton,
Pa., was united in marriage to Mr.
Harry E. Taylor, formerly of Empori
urn, but now residing at' Buffalo, N.
Y., Rev. B. L. Farrell, of Christ
Church, Dec. 21, 1965. The weddiug
[ ceremony was performed at the home
t of the groom's parents, Mr. sod Mrs.
: Val Ledbetter, No. 702 Swan street,
i Miss Eva Root was bridesmaid and Mr.
| <*eo. Taylor, brother of the groom,
1 was best man
New Cocnmissioners Meet.
The new board of County Commis
! sioners met on Monday and elected
Wm. Thornsus as their clerk and Geo.
Barker janitor, the vote in both cases
being unanimous. Mr Thomas will
make an efficient clerk, being ac
i quainted with all county affairs. Mr.
Barker has held the position of janitor
for several terms and is the right man
: in the right place.
Eye Specialist.
Prof. W. H. Budine, the well knowa
Eye Specialist, of Binghamton, N. Y..
I will be at R. 11. Hirsch's jew'elry
store, Emporium, Pa., January tith.
jlf you can't see well or have
headache don't fail to call and see Prof.
Budine, as he guarantees to cure al£
i such cases. Lenses ground and fitteef
in old frames. Eyes tested and ex
amined free. All work guaranteed.
Wreck at Welham.
On Saturday morning the Buffalo
flyer ran into a land slide about ten
miles east of Renovo and James Ever
hart the fireman was so severely injur
ed that he died within a few hours.
Several members of the crew and some
. <»f the passengers received slight in
juries. All trains were delayed about
ten hours
Services in Emmanuel Parish
Mouse.
The services of Emmanuel Church
next Sunday, as well as on Friday
evening, will l>e held iu the Parish
house. This arrangement is made
necessary by the work of installing the
new pipe organ, now in progress.
I'. B Howard & Co, have received
from the Pacific Coast what is perhaps
the finest lot of RED CEDAIt shingles
that ever came to Cameron county.
EON HUNT House for r<-nt with
modern improvements, apply to
I'J" Mlfs 11. Ht TLKK.
Death ot Sheriff Harry Hemphill.
After battling against fate for nine
years, Sheriff Harry Hemphill died
suddenly Christmas evening about
11:30. Starting from the jail residence,
to conduct his daughter-in-law, Mrs.
Bing Hemphill to her residence, on
West Fifth street, he felt quite well
and did not complain until he reached
her home when he complained of a
smothering sensation and started for
the gate to return to the jail. Just as
he reached the sidewalk he fell upon
his face in an unconscious condition-
Neighbors being .«ummoned he was
taken into his son's home and expired
within ten minutes Harry Hemphill
came to Emporium eighteen years ago
and although laboring under great dis
advantages he soon gained a foot hold
and enjoyed the confidence and respect
of our people to such a degree that he
was elected repeatedly to the offices of
constable and assessor. His faithful
and punctual services made him more
friends and when ho aspired to the of
fice of Sheriff, in 1902, he was elected
by a large majority. As Sheriff' he
left a record equal to that of any per
son ever elected to that important of
flee and only lacked one week, when
stricken down, ofservingthe full three
year term. Harry Hemphill came
from Clearfield county, Pa., and was a
member of a loyal Republican family.
He was 54 years of age last July. The
writer knew bim possibly more inti
mately than any other person in Cam
eron county and his loyal support in
many contests will long be remember
ed.
Deceased leaves four sons, and four
J brothers and one sister to mourn his
i death. His sons are Halph, Bing,
! Orvis and Kerr, all of whom feel their
I loss very keenly —his wife having died
! a little over a year ago.
Funeral services were conducted at
! the residence of his son Bing Hemphill
j last Thursday morning, Rev. Robt.
| McCaslin and Rev. O. S. Metzler con
j ducting the services, the county offi-
I cials attending in a body and serving
|as casket bearers. The remains were
j taken to Clearfield for interment.
Several beautiful floral offerings from
, the family and county officials and
j friends were shipped to Clearfield.
Highly Praised Menu.
The popularity of The New Warner,
under the proprietorship of Mine Host
Wheeler, continues to spread along all
roads leading to Emporium from the
Delaware to the lakes. In a large
( measure the popularity is due to the
elaborate dinners daily served with
the choicest in the land. The public
j showed their appreciation on Christ
j mas, when the following was present
j e-d:
MENU.
RELISH £8
: Mustard Picklras Olives Sweet Pickle*
Spanislj Onions, shatc<\<sr sliced
j Green Lettuce, Hard Boiled Eg£S Celerj
Red Radisbcs Oysters, New York Counts *
SOUPS
Consomme, Clear in Cups,-Salted Wafers
Cruatrj ofChicken, Sailed Wafers
FISH
Fcesh Cod Fish, K#js Sauce
MEATS
| Boiled Leg Mutton, Fren*).i Caper Sauce
Prime Roast Beet An jus
I Young Turkey, Sage dressing, Cranberry S »ttct
Loin of Pork, Sauce
ENTREES
j Fillet of Beef. Larded, Chsnipignons Since
Sugared Apples, Wine Sauce
Short Ootsol'Beef. Browned Sweet Potatoes
Chicken Qiblet Pie, a la turke
; Snyder Tomato Catsup Pepper Sauce Oliw Oil
j India ILelish Worcestershire Sauce
Salad Drea&ng
SALAD
Chickeu Salad, Mayonnaise
VEGBTABLB3
: Mashed Potatoes Creamed Potatoes
EscallopedTomatoes New Green Peas
Tips Asparagus on Tnast Boiled Riot
S««ar Corn Fried Parsnips
PASTttY
Knglish Plum Pudding, Brandy Sauce
Green Apple Pie Home Made Mince Pie
Pumpkin Pie Staple Mousse
Fruitcake Angel Food Kisses Froit
Layer Raisins Mixed Nuts
ttwiHs and Cream Cheese
White Bread (iruhaiii Bread Itaisin Bread
Tea Milk Butter Milk Coffee, Noir
Cocoa., Whipped Cream
Mr. Wheeler is a modest and unas
suming gentlemen therefore is not
looking for bouquets, but it is a recog
nized fact, so declared by the travel
ling public, that few hotels in this sec
tion of the state can come up to the
New Warner, the popular Family
Hotel.
L. O. T. M. Notice,
All Ladies of the Maccabees are re
quested to tie present at regular re
view Jan !tth to complete nrrangments
for installation of officers. Jan. loth.
Nellie E. I.aunsbnry tireat Record
Keeper will be present as installing of
ficer.
HKLKNA M HI TLKH, R. K.
| Sudden Death of the Reverend
Robert McCaslin.
A great sorrow has suddenly fallen
upon Emporium, and especially upon
the entire Presbyterian congregation, j
Ere the New Year hells had rung, j
ringing out the old, ringing in the
new, the death knell had rung for one
of Emporium's greatly beloved and
greatly honored pastors. At 10:45
o'clock Sabbath night, as the old year
was dying, the Reverend Robert Mc-
Caslin passed from the mortal to the j
immortal and blessed life. lie had !
'I rformed with wonted strength and
»ility his usual Sabbath labors. His
vening service was especially impres
sive and remarkable. That closing
message of the day and of
the veal' ,nd, as it has proved, of his
long ai r fruitful ministry, from the
lips o>' tue holy man and faithful pastor,
will never be forgotten.
Friends and intimate members of the
congregation were present with him
during the afternoon and evening, and
while he was speaking it was noticed
that he appeared to be laboring under
a feeling of distress. At the conclus
ion of the service he turned to those
near him and spoke of his suffering.
He was conducted to his home, and
loving, tender hands ministered to him
as his suffering increased Dr. Smith
his physician, was called when it was
evident that his cnee was alarming.
He was suffering from acute indiges
tion which developed neuralgia of the
heart During a brief time he suffered
intense pain. His breathing became
labored and painful, and very soon
death brought relief from suffering,
and allayed the pain of eart'.'s fever
I and toil forever. Conscious that the
end was near, in the midst of weeping,
j sorrowing, ministering friends, his
j daughter Grace, Miss Jetlie Wiley and
j others, bidding all his last effectionate
j farewell, he commended his spirit to
! the everlasting keeping of his covenant
j God and gracious Saviour, and fell
| peacefully asleep in Jesus.
His death came so suddenly, and has
! fallen upon his devoted family and
I congregation, oh, how sorely! In the
! early morning ofthe bright new year,
| the sorrowful news was spread that
| shocked every heart. It was hard to
realize that he who yesterday stood in
all the vigor and majesty of his superb
manhood is gone forever. Emporium
mourns and weeps as it has rarely been
called to do before. A most affection
ate and devoted husband and father, a
faithful, devoted and laborious pastor,
a true friend, a Christian of large heart
and noble soul, one who sympathized
deeply with all in sorrow and distress;
Emporium may well mourn over her
great bereavement and loss. Mrs Mc-
Caslin was laid upon a bed of suffering,
1 and this great affliction falls upon her
in a very dark hour. The sympathy
i of all hearts goes out to her and the
; sorely bereaved family, in whose be
; half we lervently pray that they may be
! divinely supported and comforted, that
j the God of all grace and of all consola
| tion may be with them in their over
| whelming grief. The congregation,
j thus suddenly and sorrowfully bereft
j of their pastor so greatly beloved, have
! the deepest and tenderest sympathy
j of all the churches and their pastors,
I who feel that this heavy stroke has
I fatten upon them all.
The deceased leaves a family inti
mately known, highly respected and
much beloved in Emporium. His wife,
lying upon a sick bed, suffers severely
from sciatica. His children: Grace
A.; Walter L.; of Cleveland, O.; Eliza
beth I)., Thomas A., of Cleveland, O.;
Robert Clyde, attending Park College,
Mo,; Russel; Frank P.; Wilbur Ray
month and Margaret M. Mr. McCaslin
was born at Maeville, Armstrong
county, March 1«, 1845. He was a
graduate of Princeton College, and
after spending a year at the Princeton
Theological Seminary, he finished his
j theological course at the Western
Theological Seminary, Allegheny, Pa.
Mm first pastoral charge was at Plain
<inove, Lawrence county, where he
labored successfully for several years.
Hia next charge was at Ebensburg,
Catnbria county; and from there he re
moved to Arkansas City, Kansas. He
was called to Emporium in September
1890. This his last charge, extended
over a period of twelve years, has
been a very happy and successful one.
A beautiful new church was erected in
the heart of the tuwn, and was dedicat
ed in September, 1904, which will stand
as a memorial of his untiring labors.
"Well done, good and faithful servant,
enter thou into the joy of thy Lord."'
The funeral services will be held this
afternoon. Following a private ser
vioe at the house, the public service
will be held in the church at 2:00 p. m.
The Rev. I)r. Cook of Renovo, clerk of
Northumberland Presbytery, will offi
ciate assisted by the Rev. J. L. Robert
son, pastor of the Presbyterian church,
Clarendon, and by the local pastors.
Members of the Session and Hoard of
Trustees, will serve as pall-bearers.
The remains will be taken to Cleve
land, Ohio, for interment.
One Hweet solemn thought,
Comes to us o'er and o'er.
On ''dead head" railroad passe*
We will ride no more,
The ads the railroad gets.
For them they'l have to pay.
And we will do our riding
lu a one horse shay. J
I Krms: $2.00 —$1.50 in Advanc^-
THE WEATHER.
RIDAY, Snow flurries SATURDAY E a -
St'NDAY. Fair
ASSETS
First National Bank,
emporium, pa.
At thf close of business January 3d "K. 6
$748,181,54.
There is more luck in a little bank book of <h-rv
Bunk, with your name on it, than in ashop-Jo»f
of dream books.
Man About Town.
A young lady up at the Summit
Wore an up-to-date new fangkd bonnet
She got off the oar.
Hadn't gone very far,
When she slipped and they heard her
dummet.
Her sister from Port Allegany
Resembled the Goddess Diana,
When crossing the street.
Lost the use of her feet,
And the language she used was profane'*.
A lovely young girl in Ridgway,
With her lover went riding one day,
1 hey talked such nonsense,
That the horse took offense,
And kicked them both out of the shay.
A beautiful girl in St. Marys,
Ate a pie made from newly canned cherries
She swallowed the stones,
They were harder than bones.
And now she wears heavenly Tiara's.
A jolly old man in Renovo,
Never would out in the snow go.
One day he died.
Went above to reside,
But they told him that he must below go.
There was a young man in Lock Haven,
He was frugal and steady and savin',
Hairs grew on his chin.
He drove them back in.
And never spent money forshavin'.
. T . he P REBS sanctum Christmas da
looked like a department store. Tlws
editor has materially increased hi"
revenues by selling " the duplicates
May his many friends always keen
him in loving remembrance.
Watch the assets of thePirst Nationa'.
Bank, published in the window daily -
Notice how they rise the day after the
PRESS makes a deposit.
There is an old saying that "Hell is
paved with good resolutions." Lets>
get hold of one of those paving stonet*
and hold onto it.
Prof. Ericsson says some people have
a great idea of making presents..
There are places in town where-
Beetshoven Symphonies were gives*
and they had no piano ja the house.
Brother Kick ay;, the twin girlß eax.
talk but he is the onlv one that csjkv
understand them.
Brother Pyle wore a summer necktie
Christmas and has since been snfferinfs;
with a somewhat irritated throat.
Brother Blinzler says an up-to-dat*
shave or wiskers refurded.
Pittsburg Phil, is slated to delivers
lecture some time this month before?
the window sill club. His subject r
The Land of the Muscovite or the Cos
sac, as he is, is very well spoken of by
the press of the country. He has be«:-i
a great traveler, camped in the shadow
of the Pyramids and one time rode ir.
an empty box car from Driftwood to
Dauguscahonda.
The editor of the PRESS has been on
the dry dock the passed week. Ban
quets and church suppers, where yat v.
mingle with cooking school cake ami
rizbiscuits are not condilsive to longr->
ivity,
Tliii old is rung out.
The new is rung in,
The leaf is turned over
And now lets begin-.
The man About Town is minus ib«.
narative of a night robe, caused bv
standing too close to a gas stove early
in the morning. The neighbors conll*
not tell by the odor of the cooking
meat whether it was voal or lamb.
Mose Minard is the only man living
in Cameron county that knows the.
exact spot where the bear slept in thf
buckwheat. The knowledge may not
be of any use to Mose, but it will
valuable to his grand childrsir>-
Uncle Peter Beattie doef> not believt-''
in using profane language. Says if be
is not one of the elect and does noB go
to heaven, he hopes they will give hinn
a place where he will not hear thw
name of the Lord blasphemed!. Bp
says a Pjymoth Rock rooster,owned r yv.-
one of his neighbors is troubled ttfo t
insomnia. Every morning abo' s-A>rt'jr -
o'clock he begins to crow to Isfc-seopJ?- ; -
know he can't sleep and aad'isarr 112" •
want, any one else to. He says m «
a Philadelphia hospital they have sets r» •
man's neck, and soon, in order to
a man they will have to take hina 300 '
miles from any physician aart-'nviJifm
through a thrashing machmt'. •
likes to see a baldlieaded m;an, thijj „ r '-v
it shows a polished intelect the Bib.}",
says Esau was hairy and didn't
amount to much, while Elijah, Caesar .
Aristotle and the Grand Duke Nicholas;
who is going to marry Princess Ali'cr ■
Koosevelt is bald. Savs some peopJt»
dispute the Pible; he' knew a <ts
son who saw Ananias and Sappho;.,
carried into a corner drugstore
they had been struck dead for lyinp
He ways we often hear of a man beU.J
between the devil and the deepee.t ..r><
thinks if a man is too old to fight ftre
and doir t know how to swim,and fonnc
himself in that position ho would l)«,'
up against a pretty hard proposition-
He says in riding in the cars last sunv
he saw in the end of the car a nigo.
"ladies saloon," and ladies were go.vtr«
in and out quite frequently. On* ol<*
fellow sitting back of him remarked
"something has y;ot to be done to
the liquor traffic In the ears. Sov*
many of his old friends that lie knew ha
the long ago are gone, some he knew-,
lor a quarter and some for a ilvo -IrU
lar bill, ami if he had it now no
wou'd give it to the suffering Jews.
QASMAWAM
NC) 4(1