6 THE BACHELOR'S SONG. In otic of the states of the Argentine Republic bachelors have to pay a tine of a month up to the age of 30, £l2 a month from 30 to 35 and CO a month after the; rer.rh the agt of 50. Flnce my twentieth birthday I had tried With no success to win a bride; My heart had been returned with thanks Jiy cruel ladles in endless ranks, lint, instead of the balm that the jilted lacks. The state came down on me with a lax, lAnd I saw my savings disappear !At the rate of ru every year. It tame n bit expensive, for I wasn't a wealthy bachelor. Fearing my purse wouldn't stand the drain, At the ase of thirty T tried again: Bought n»-v clothes of the latest style, Practiced a fascinating smile; Hut why. 1 cannot understand— Nobody wanted my heart and hand; Ami the state, in Its brutal, callous way. Doubled the tax It made me pay. Pounds to the number of twenty-four 1 paid for being a bachelor. My fiftieth birthday found me still A single Jack in search of a Jill; Hairless, hopeless, dull and stout, .Troubled, too, with a twinge of gout; lAnd for all my exertions I could not Find any one willing to share my lot. But did the state feel sorry for me? Ko; it multiplied my fine by three. Seventy pounds and a couple more I paid for being a bachelor. 3 write these lines with a borrowed quill On the back of ati unpaid tailor's bill. As clever readers will doubtless guess. The local workhouse is my address. It seems the only refuge for A cruelly harried bachelor. •—London Daily Chronicle. D'ri and ! By IRVING BACHELLER Author of ' Eben Holden." "Darrel of the Blessed Isles," Etc. Cs**- sr- *— (Copyright, WOl, by Lot In op rubllahiiiff Company.; CHAPTER XXII.—CONTINUED. As I stood by, quivering with excite ment, I saw him gel a slash in the shoulder. He stumbled, falling heav ily. Then quickly, forgetting my sex, but not wholly, I hope, the conduct that becomes a woman, I caught the point of the saber, now poised to run him through, with the one I carried, lie backed away, hesitated, for he had Been my hat and gown. But I made after him with all the fury I felt, and eoon had him in action. He was tired, I have no doubt; anyway, I whirled his saber and broke his hold, whipping it to the ground. That was the last we saw of him, for he made off in the dark faster than I could follow. The trouble was all over, save the wound of the corporal, which was not as bad as 1 ■thought. He was up, and one of them, a surgeon, was putting stitches in his upper arm. Others were tying four men together with rope. Their weap ons were lying in a little heap near by. One of the British was saying that Sir Charles Oravleigh had sent for them to ride after the coach. "Jerushy Jane Pepper!" said the man D'ri. "Never seen no sech wil'cat uv a woman es tl*et air." I I looked down at my gown; 1 felt of my hat, now hanging over one ear. Sure enough, I was a woman. "Who be ve, I'd like t' know?" said tho man D'ri. "Ramon Bell —a Yankee soldier of Hie rank of captain," I said, stripping off my gown. "But, 1 beg of you, don't tell the ladies I was ever a woman." "Judas Priest!" said D'ri, as he flung his well arm around me. CHAPTER XXIII. 1 felt foolish for a moment. I had careful plans for Mme. St. Jovite. She would have vanished utterly on our return; so, I fancy, none would have heen the wiser. But in that brief sally I had killed the madame; she could serve me no more. I have been careful in my account of this matter to tell all just as it happened, to put upon it neither more nor loss of ro ni!:titi< color than we saw Had I the skill and license of a novelist, I could have made much of my little mystery; but there are many now living who remember all these things, and then, I am a soldier, and too old for a new business. So I make as much of them as there was and no more. In pri vat' theatricals, an evening at Harbor, I had won applause with the rig, wig. and dialect of my trip to W rent ham Square. So, when I pro posed a plan t friends we have known, our loves, our very souls. She turned, smiling, her beauty flashing tip at me with a power quite irresistible. I shut my eyes a moment, summoning all my forces. There was only a step between me and —God knows what! "Captain, you are a foolish fellow," said she. with a little shudder. "And I —well, I am cold. Parbleu! feel my hand." Rho had drawn her glove quickly, and held out her hand, white and beau tiful, a dainty finger in a gorget of gems. That little cold, trembling hand seemed to lay hold of my heart and pulled me to her. As my lips touched the palm I felt its mighty magic. Dear girl! I wonder if she planned that trial for me. "We must—ride—faster. You —yon —are cold," 1 stammered. She held hor hand so that the sun light flashed on the jewels, and looked down upon it proudly. "Do you think it beautiful?" she asked. "Yes, and wonderful," I said, "nut, mark me, it is all a sacred trust —the beauty you have." "Sacred?" "More sacred than the power of kings," I said. "Preacher!" said she, with a smile. "You should give yourself to the church." "I can do better with the sword of steel," I said. "But do not be sad. Cheer up, dear fellow!" she went on, patting my el bow with a pretty mockery. "We wo men are not —not so bad. When I find the man I love —" Her voice faltered as she began fuss ing with her stirrup. I turned with a look of inquiry, changing quickly to one of admiration. "I shall make him love me, if I can," she went on soberly. "And if he does?" I queried, my blood quickening as our eyes met. "Dieu! I would do anything for him," said she. 1 turned away, looking off at the brown fields. Ah, then, for a breath, my heart begged my will for utterance. The first word passed my lips when there came the sound of galloping hoofs and Therese and the marquis. "Come, dreamers," said the former, as they pulled up beside us. "A cold dinner is the worst enemy of happi ness." "And he is the worst robber that shortens the hour of love," said the marquis, smiling. Wo turned, following them at a swift gallop. They had helped me out of that, mire of ecstasy, and now I was glad, for, on my soul, I believed the fair girl had one more to her liking, and was only playing for my scalp. And at last I had begun to know my own heart, or thought I had. D'ri came over that evening with a letter from Gen. Brown. He desired me to report for duty next day or two. [To Be Continued.) FixlilK the Ilia inc. "Dick Wintersmith, representative from Kentucky, was one of the drollest wits in Washington," said "Phil" Thompson at the Waldorf the other night. "I remember at one time he and his wife were walking down Penn sylvania avenue when a little French man, a member of the legation, who was directly in front of them, tripped and fell, it was slippery and lie fell all over the pavement in the most ludicrous way. "Mrs. Wintersmith laughed, where upon the little Frenchman, picking himself up, rushed at Dick and pre sented him with his card. "Dick looked it thoughtfully over. " 'What's this for?' he asked of the little Frenchman. " 'Your ladee there," snorted the Frenchman in a tower of rage, 'she laugh at me. Site laugh at me when I fall on zee pavement down. I, sir, de mand sateesfaczione!' "Dick quietly handed him back his card. " 'You goto this lady's brother and demand zee sateesfaczoine,' said he 'She ain't no blood kin of mine.' " —N. Y.' Herald. Origin of "Pounds StcrlliiK," How many folk who work every day in the year who use the phrase "pounds sterling" are aware of its origin? Probably not. one in a thou sand. Yet the adjective "sterling," which, apart from its commercial sense, has come to indicate worth and genuineness, has a curious historical significance, and is a distinct survival of times when England did not weigh so heavily in the balance of power as she does now. 111 the fourteenth cen tury the trade of the known world was, almost without exception, in the hands of the Hanseatic league. Within this league there were many towns, most of which coined money, some using better metal than others, Ltt bee, a Baltic city, made the best money, and the English merchants, who even then knew a good thins when they saw it, used to contract for payment in the "moneys of the Easter lings"—Easterlings being their name for the Baltic merchants. Shortened for convenience, the word still ob tains, and has all its original force.— Liverpool Post THE TEACHER'S FOE 1 ft. LIFE ALWAYS THREATENED BY NERVOUS PROSTRATION. One Who Hroko Down from Six Yenrs of Overwork Tells How She Knrnped Misery of Enforced Idleness. " I had been teaching in the city j schools steadily for t>ix years,"said Miss i James, whoso recent return to tho work from which who was driven by nervous ! collapse has attracted attention. "They | Were greatly overcrowded, especially in I the primary department of which I had charge, and I had been doing tho work of two teachers. The strain was too mn::h for my nerves and two years ago the crisis came. " I was prostrated mentally niul phy sically, sent in 111 y resignation and never expected to bu able to resume work. It seemed to me then that I was tho most miserable woman oil earth. I was tor tured by nervous headaches, worn out by inability to sleep, and had so little blood that I was as white as chalk. "After my active life, it was hard to bear idleness, and terribly discouraging to keep paying out the savings of years lor medicines which did me 110 good." ! "How did you get back your health?" j "A bare chance and a lot of faith led me to a euro. After I had suffered for many months, and when I was 011 tho , very verge of despair, I happened to read an account of some cures effected by j Dr. Williams' Pink Pills. Tho state j meuts were so convincing that I some- I how felt assured that these pills would j help me. Most people, I think, buy only one box for a trial, but I purchased six j boxes at once, and when I had used tlieiu up, I was indeed well and had no J need of more medicine. "Dr. Williams' Pink Pills enriched my thin blood, gave 1110 back 111 y sleep, re- 1 stored my appetite, gave me strength to ; walk long distances without fatigue, in 1 fact freed me from all my numerous ail- < meuts. I have already taught for several months, and I cannot say enough in praise of Dr. Williams' Pink Pills." Miss Margaret M. James is now living nt No. 123 Clay street, Dayton, Ohio. ! Many of her fellow teachers have also j used Dr. Williams' Pink Pills and are enthusiastic about their merits. Sound j digestion, strength, ambition, and cheer- j ful spirits quickly follow their use. They are sold in every drug store in the world. Matter of Choice. "Between the two," said the home grown philosopher, "I prefer the has-been to the going-to-be man." "Because why?" queried the youth. "Because it is so much easier to shut the has-been tip," explained the philosophy dispenser.—Chicago Daily News. GRATEFUL TO CUTICURA. For Instant Relief end Speedy Core of ltmv anil Scaly Humour, ltchiiiu Day null Millit for Many Months. "I do wish you would publish this let tei so that others suffering as 1 have may see it and be helped. For many months awful sores covered my face and neck. Ecabs forming, which would swell and ; itch terribly day and iright, and then j break open, running blood and matter, j 1 had tried many remedies, but was j growing worse, when 1 started with Cuti- j ctira. The first application gave me in- ' stant relief, and when I had used two ; cakes of Cuticura Soap and three boxes j of Cuticura Ointment, 1 was completely ; cured. (Signed) Miss Nellie Yander j \\ lele, Lakeside, N. \." A fine way not to get too good an opin ion of your administrative capacity is to take the children on a picnic and try to make them behave like human beings.— N. y. Press. Are You 111? I have cured thousands, and can cure you. Kven in the most stubborn and . most obstinate diseases, I have accom- j plished quick and lasting cures. I will ; mail my Pusheck's Kuro on Trial—if it j helps you, pay for it: My Kuro cures all j Blood and Nerve troubles and diseases 1 resulting from tliem such as: Skin Dis- I eases, ltheumalism, Indigestion, Weak- , ness, Pain. 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DOUGLAS, Brocktoa, Mass. igfaasjn iw ii mnr t,w ufaxsuaxamJi USE | PUSHEOK'S KURO ' Also cures Weakness, Nervous and General Debility, Rheumatism, Mis use, Scrofula, Dyspepsia, and all j diseases due to Impure or impover | ished blood. No other medicine like it. Will be Sent You on Trial If you send this advertisement and MKJBBI your address to Dr. C. PUSHECK, &JG|QH No secret remedy — Formula glv- I ng composition with each package ' J IF PUSHRCK*S KURO HELPS. *&\ then you pay |I.OO. IF IT DOES NOT BENEFIT YOU k '«J| -IT COSTS NOTHINd and the de- VWal cision is left to you. I Also For Sale by btit Druggists- K\ l EXCURSIONS BllJJlgl-lV'l. j TO THE FREE GRANT LANDS 0 f WESTERN CANADA During the months of March anil April, there j will l>e Excursions on the various lines of raiU way to the Canadian West. Hundreds of thousands of the best Wheat and Grazing l