Business Cards.
B. W. QUEEN,
ATTO R N K Y-AT- L A W,
Emporium, l*a.
A business relating to estate,collect As,rent
estates. Orphan's Court anil general law ousinest
will receive prompt attention. 12-ly,
J.C.JOHNSON. J. P. MONAKNK\
JOHNSON & McNARNEY,
ATTORNEYS-AT-LAW
EMPOHILM, PA.
Will give prompt attention to all business en
rusted to them. 16-ly.
MICHAELBRENNAN,
ATTORNEY-AT-LAW
Collections promptly attended to. Real estate
and pension claim agent,
3S-ly. Emporium, P».
THOMAS WADDINOTON,
Emporium, Pn.,
CONTRACTOR FOR MASONRY AND
STONE-CUTTING.
All orders in my line promptly executed. All
kinds of building and cut-atone, supplied lit low
prices. Agent for marble or granite monuments.
Lettering neatly done.
AMERICAN HOUSE,
East Emporium, Pa..
JOHN L. JOHNSON, Prop'r.
Having resumed proprietorship of this old and
well established House J invite the patronage of
the public. House newly furnished and thor
oughly renovated. 48ly
F. D. LEET.
ATTORNEY-AT-LAW and INSURANCE AG'T.
EMPORIUM, PA
To LAND OWNKLTS AND OTHERS IN CAMBRON AND
ADJOINING COUNTIES.
I have numerous calls for hemlock and hard
wood timber lauds,alsostumpaKe&c., and parties
desiring either to buy or sell will do well to call
on me. F. D. LICET.
CITY HOTEL,
JWM. MCGEE, PaorßiETOh
Emporium, Pa.
Having again taken possession of this old and
popularhouse I solicit a share of the public pat
ronage. The house is newly furnishedand is one
ofthe bestappointed hotelsin Cameron county.
30-ly.
THE NOVELTY RESTAURANT,
(Opposite Post Office,)
Emporium, Pa.
WILLIAM MCDONALD, Proprietor.
I take pleasure in informing the public that i
have purchased the old and popular Novelty
Restaurant, located on Fourth street. It will be
my endeavor to serve the public in a manner
that shall meet with their approbation. Give me
a call. Meals and luncheon served at all hours.
n027-lyr Wm. McDONALD.
BT. CHARLES HOTEL,
THOS. J. LYSETT, PROPRIETOR
Near Buffalo Depot, Emporium, Pa.
This new and commodious hotel is now opened
forthe accommodation ofthe public. Newinal
Its appointments, every attention will be paid to.
the guests patronizing this notei. '27-17 ly
MAY GOULD,
TEACHER OF
PIANO, HARMONY AND THEORY,
Also dealer in all the Popular Sheet Music,
Emporium, Pa.
Scholars taught either at my home on Sixth
street or at the homes ofthe pupils. Outoftown
scholars will be given dates at my rooms in this
place.
F. (J. RIECK, I). D. S„
BTP DENTIST.; J
Office over Taggart's Drug Store, Emporium, Pa.
X Gas and other local anaesthetics ad-
TwsSSmiuistered for the painless extraction
«ZHHJof teeth.
SPEClALTY:—Preservation of natural teeth, in
cluding Crown and Bridge Work.
S The Plate to Buy Cheap /
PARSONS. ?
jjj GROCERIES. |
J. A. KINSLER,
[}: Carries nothing but the best that can be if]
obtained in the line of ![■
$ Groceries and •5j
S Provisions,
jfl n)
[n Flour, Salt and Smoked Meats, jf|
nj Canned Goods, etc.
n] Teas, Coffees, Fruits, Confectionery, [=
[n Tobacco and Cigars. if]
[X Goods Delivered Free any place In 2]
n] Town. yj
Jjj Call and see me and get prices. uj
Cj J. A. KINSLER,
Ol Near P. &E. Depot. in
asHsHsasasHS asasasHs
I" S. E. MURRY,|
PRACTICAL J
PLUMBER, GAS \
AND I
I STEAM FITTER. |
| I have recently added an |
| entirely new line of J
Z Plumbing Goods to my-|
k already large stock. I a
| handle andjkeep constant- 1 ly
ly in stock |
N GAS AND
STEAM FITTINGS,
SEWER PIPES, |
I GAS STOVES, ETC. |
| My store room is well sup- |
g plied with Bath'l Tubs, H
0 Wash Stands, Gas|Lamps 1
jsj and anything required in 1
|J my trade. Contracts I
U taken for all lines of work; |
W satisfaction guaranteed. |
SH Write me when you have
0 any work in my line,
jjp Out of town orders promptly |
jQ attended to. |
fj S. E. MURRY.
►D H VSI ItBT6 TRAD E E-MARKS 1
rAltni o AND sr :
► ADVICE AS TO PATENTABILITY <
► Notice in " Inventive Age " HU BQ Bi <
► Book "How to obtain Patents" g Blfalnß 4
* Charge* moderate. No fee till patent is Bccured. 4
Letters strictly confidential. Addr<B3,
v E. G. SIOGERS, Patent Lawyer, Washington, D. C. 4
AFTER THF. BATTLE
Some are found bleeding and
sore, while others have a fit
of tlie blues. Now if there
should be any so unfortunate
as to suffer from the eflecte of
accidents we have the Balm
for their pains and aches,let it
be either for man or beast.
Our liniment and powdersfor
horses or cattle are always
the best.
Our medicines are pure and
_ always get there. The prices
are right too.
our patent medicine depart
ment is supplied with all the
standard remedies and we can
supply your on short notice.
Our toilet and fancy goods
department we keep up to
the times.
Our Prescription depart
ment receives our closest at
tention and all calls answered
day or night. Juet touch the
button. In fact we are here
to do business and serve the
public
M. - A. - ROCKWELL,
THE PHARMACIST,
s V v X \ V \ N N V\\\/
> THE FAIR STORE |
Extraordinary
t Inducements and %.
'/ Special prices in
< Ladies'
' Tailor-Made Suits |
/ A fine line to select from. j||
% LADIES ' SHIRT WAISTS. SKIRTS 7
R AND HOSIERY AT BARGAINS. %
£
Laee Curtains and Window Shades, a
full line. ■/.
/ LADIES'SUMMER UNDERWEAR. \
'i WASH SUITS IN LAWN, |
* DIMITIES AND PERCALE. %
§ %
.J Special bargains in;WRAPPERS.
LADIES' SUMMER SHAWLS. J
Correct and latest in Belts. All at K
y,, popular prices.
v Silverware. Chinaware, Glassware,
? Agateware, Tinware and a thousand and jf
y one other Novelties. gj
All popular and Guaranteed makes of |j
Bicycles. EiKht Kindß . |
< %
/ i
i H. A. ZARPS & CO.
<1 /
\ \ V \ \.\ \
5 r. X. BLti/nbE, I
I =::,=====s
*> (•
J Emporium, Pa. •)
0j
•J Bottler and Dealer In r«
I
•)
% beer, »
% i
1 WINES, i
f T f>
r
| WHISKIES (•
(• §
(• And Liquorß.of all Kinds.
•) •>
<• (•
GGs i ®
2 (•
•> A
The best of go>ods always carried ?
in stock and everything •)
<• warranted as rep- %
J] resented.
( T
g s
c* Special Attention Paid to £
•) Mail Orders. %
•) - s
% ~, I
% I
1 EMPORIUM, PA. I
J
J. A. Fisher,
PRACTICAL
florse »
Sboer,
Broad Street, Emporiußi, Pa.
cj SSOO „
Iri The above Reward will be paid tri
[|-j for information that will lead to the [=
112, arrest and conviction of the party f{]
pi or parties who placed iron and slabs ir
on the track of the Emporium & [)•
[n Rich Valley R. R., near the east n]
ril line of Franklin Housler's farm, on Ln
"] the even ng of Nov* 21st, 1891. [}j
In Henry Auchu, }{]
ru 88-tf President, m
'
CAMERON' COUNTY PRESS, THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 19, 1901.
it PIMIMI
Representative Newspapers De
nounce Yellow Journalism.
THEY ENCOURAGED ANARCHY
Hearst and Wanamaker Yellow Sheets
Come In For Their Full Share of
Condemnation In the Comment Upon
the Assassination of the President
of the United States.
Throughout the United States the re
spectable conservative newspapers are
roundly scoring yellow journalism and
coupled with the Hearst New York
Journal, the Wanamaker North Amer
ican, with its Emma Goldman protec
tion record, comes In for a full sham
of denunciation.
Following are a few editorial utter
ances on this subject:
MORE THAN CONDEMNATION.
We are the only civilized people
among whom the yellow journal exists.
It could not live amid a European peo
ple. Its gross indecency would shock
the public sense, so that room would
not be found for It. The American
people would show a distinct advance
by withholding from these sheets pat
ronage and recognition.—lndianapolis
News.
DOES NOT IMPLY LICENSE.
It will be of no service to punish
Czolgosz while Emma Goldman goes
about the country instigating fresh
assassinations and groups of anarchists
openly meet to celebrate the crime
against humanity. Such meetings, such
teachings, are themselves a crime, and
should be so recognized and treated
by stringent penalties. Freedom of
speech does not imply license to un
dermine the structure of society, and
civilization must protect itself. —Brad-
ford (Pa.) Argus.
YELLOW JOURNALISM AND AN
ARCHY.
Little less deep than the indignation
against the assassin Czolgosz in the de
nunciation of the newspapers of the
yellow Journal class, which, with their
tirades against the heads of govern
ments and specious reasonings, have
deluded such men as the attacker of
the President to deeds of violence. It
Is the cry of "murderer" which these
scurrilous sheets have printed on ac
count of the wars with Spain and in
the Philippines against the President
that have inflamed the poor under
standing of men who lack the power
of discernment to distinguish between
reason and madness and have sent
these vultures upon law and order to
take from the head of government their
chief officer. —Towanda (Pa.) Report
er Journal.
PREACH MURDER AND ASSASSI
NATION.
Would the bloodthirsty men and
women who, while living in a civilized
community, preach murder and assass
ination as a remedy for political evils,
put their ideas into practice and kill
one another off, or would their novel
Imprisonment awaken them to the er
ror of their ways and resolve them Into
peaceable and useful citizens? Evi
dently there is to be no lack of sugges
tions for dealing with the followers of
Herr Most and Emma Goldman, and
It will be surprising indeed if our law
makers do not manage to evolve some
thing really practical out of the mul
titude of Ideas.—Plttston Gazette.
PUT HER IN A CAGE.
Emma Goldman, anarchy's angel
with the flaming sword, who, it is al
leged, inspired President McKinley's
assassin to commit his foul deed, is
In the toils of the police. It Is sug
gested that Miss Goldman be trans
ferred to Philadelphia and placed on
exhibition in a cage in front of the
Philadelphia sensational newspaper
which so eloquently championed her
rights when she was prevented from
holding anarchistic meetings several
months ago.—Bucks County Gazette.
CLAIMS TO BE RESPECTABLE.
A Philadelphia newspaper which
claims to be respectable speaks of
Emma Goldman as "the representative
of the American right to free speech,"
and "there is no law in the United
States against preaching the gospel of
anarchy." There Is the law of self
preservation which every government
may enforcs. —The Indianapolis Jour
nal.
THE YELLOWS ARE CRAWLING.
The Philadelphia Inquirer has cer
tainly performed a great service by Its
prompt. Incisive and crushing Indict
ment of the New York Journal and the
Wanamaker yellow pest. We certainly
note a remarkable "crawling" on the
part of the Journals In question and
a hurried desire to get In out of the
wet. But, as The Inquirer so graphi
cally pointed out, their fell work has
been done, their poison has been cast
broadcast and the Nation's head has
had to bear the blunt of this gospel
of hate and slander. Now that they
have been properly gibbetted we hope
the public will mark Its disapproval
of such publications. We do not forget
how the North American libeled the
coal regions by Its outrageous descrip
tions and absurd pictures during the
miners' strike last fall.—Wllkesbarre
Times.
NOW SORRY THAT THEY SPOKE.
Yellow journalism and anarchy are
not far apart. The awful crime com
mitted In Buffalo last Friday was com
mitted by a disciple of Emma Goldman.
Not long ago, It will be recalled, she
attempted to speak In Philadelphia, but
the mayor and the director of public
safety prevented her from so doing,
immediately yellow Journalism rushed
to her rescue, and WonjunaJtcr's iVortn
. r .u»ncan gave utterance to tne follow
ing, among other jointed remarks in
criticism of the officials for her sup
pression: "The silencing of Emma
Goldman is an outrage." "The example
of lawlessness being given by the.police
authorities is at once dangerous and
disgraceful. Should force be met with
force the moral responsibility would
rest upon the stupid despots of the
City Hall."
The above la disgraceful reading; It
should cause Americans to blush for
shame. Emma Goldman, in Cleveland,
spoke the words which fired the brain
of a young man to attempt the life of
our President. Had the officials of
Cleveland acted with equal decision
and prudence with those of Philadel
phia, the crime would not have been
enacted. One result of the attempted
assassination of the President will be
to make yellow journalism more ab
horrent than ever, and our lawmakers
should not lose sight of this dangerous
element In society when dealing with
anarchy and its attendant evils. —Ve-
nango Citizen-Press.
CRIMINAL AS ANARCHISTS.
Emma Goldman and her nefarious
principles are responsible for Czol
gosz's determination to kill President
McKinley. They inflamed his mind
and they formed his devilish ambition.
Emma Goldman was hailed as the
apostle of free speech by the Phila
delphia North American. That a news
paper which professes to stand for
reform and right living and honest
purposes should boldly defend one of
the most dangerous anarchists in the
country and should denounce those
who prevented her from uttering her
treasonable, un-American doctrines
would be almost incomprehensible were
It not already known that it has never
had a mission save the vilification of
the men it disliked for personal or
political reasons and that Its whole
policy was dictated by the erratic in
clinations cf a few disappointed and
disgruntled office-seekers.— Blue Ridge
Zephyr, Waynesboro, Pa.
YELLOW PERIL AND A CURE.
The Journal has had no hesitation
in pointing out where the real respon
sibility rests for the crime against the
President. The yellow and irresponsi
ble press of the country, by their de
grading and malicious attacks on pub
lic officers and men in high places,
have fostered discontent, have pro
moted anarchy, and made possible just
such crimes.—Chicago Journal.
THE YELLOW PRESS.
Another instance Is called to mind in
Philadelphia where another yellow
paper was champion of Emma Goldman
when the murderous she-wolf had ar
ranged to deliver a harangue in that
city. The police authorities interfered,
and the paper referred to said: "The
example of lawlessness being given by
the police authorities is at once dan
gerous and disgraceful. Should force
be met by force, the moral responsi
bility would rest upon the stupid des
pots of the City Hall. The law should
be brought to bear upon the lawless
mayor and director of public safety."
The yellow newspaper made the right
of Emma Goldman to stand up before
a crowd and incite to assassination
greater than the right of the authori
ties, constituted by the people, t.o pre
serve public peace, order and human
life. On the same occasion Emma
Goldman complained that the constitu
tion of the United States had been
violated because she could not lash
some Czolgosz in the crowd into shoot
ing the President as he stood extend
ing his hand to his fellow citizens.
Such is the interpretation of the na
tional constitution by the fiend who
is worse than Borgia, and the yellow
papers that flock to her support.—St.
Louis Globe.
EMMA GOLDMAN WHO PREACHED
MURDER.
Emma Ooldman, the leading anar
chist of the country If not of the world,
stands charged with conspiracy to
murder the President of the United
States, and it is the duty of officers
of the law to discover every scrap of
evidence that will tend to prove this
and to present it to a Jury. This
woman has stalked about the country
breathing threats of venge- nee on all
men in authority. She has outdone
the anti-"lmperiallsts" and the yellow
journals. She has preached murder
and arson, and she preached It to Czol
gosz, and h« acted on her advice. He
did as she told him and she is a thou
sand times more responsible than the
poor, miserable wretch who is shudder
ing in**, cell in Buffalo. We respect
women and we would not suggest harsh
treatment—but this woman is not like
others; she is a flend in human shape.
Sho lias murder In her heart and mur
der on her tongue. She preaches mur
der and glories In blood.- Springfield
Union.
NO QUESTION ABOUT IT.
There can be no question about it,
the sensational newspapers must
share in the responsibility for the
President's assassination. They may
squirm and hiss, hiding their shame In
editorial comments and cartoons of a
sympathetic character, but at last they '
stand exposed before the world of the I
terrible sin of having encouraged law
lessness and murder by deliberate
misrepresentation and vicious exag
geration.—New Haven Register.
NORTH AMERICAN MUST ANSWER
The Philadelphia North American
must answer the grave charge of aid
ing and abetting Anarchy, the direct
cause of the attempt on President Mc-
Kinley's life. In the early part of Sep
tember last, this Journal induced Em
ma Goldman, the high priestess .of
anarchy, to come to Philadelphia aijji
address a meeting there. It is said
the representatives of this paper smug
gled the woman Into a secret meeting,
where she made her address. In ad- i
ditlon, they used the refusal of the
police to permit Anarchy td be preach
an a means of viciously attacking
112 .mayor and city administration,
c g the woman had the right to
fi "where.
"Tnw anempted assassin of the Pres
ident confesses that his act was in
spired by the Inflammatory speeches
of this woman. In the upholding of
her hideous cause, The North Ameri
can cannot but be more or less re
sponsible for the fruits of her ef
forts. The fearful results attained are
on a line with the Intemperate, vi
cious and untrustworthy character of
this journal's teachings. While pro
fessing to champion the cause of re
form, It has been worse than criminal
Itself.—West Grove, Chester Co., Inde
pendent.
YELLOW JOURNALISM'S BLAME.
To the yellow journalism that has
persistently villifled, misrepresented
and abused the President is mainly
due the crime at Buffalo, and it Is
up to the reputable, honorable portion
of the American people to say how
long that vile and malicious and crim
inal inciting of murder shall continue.
The President ignored It and trusted
the people, but he could not make al
lowance for the human wolf, the hu
man rattlesnake, the human mad
dog lying in wait for him here and
there and ready to strike when oppor
tunity offered. These deadly elements
exist in society and, inflamed by the
vile and murderous journals, which
egg them out, they do their work, and
the crime of last Friday is the first
fruits of that unrestrained and mur
derous poison poured daily out among
the people for the gain of nominally
decent men whose money is soaked In
the blood of the best and bravest in
the land. Cause and effect are plain
and unmistakably seen in this mat
ter, and the murder-makers of yellow
journalism are back of the Anarchist,
the crank and the crazed assassin who
follows logically the prompting of their
political abuse. —Bridgeport Standard.
CANNOT BE TOLERATED.
Relentlessly, indecently, outrageous
ly the yellow journals have denounced
every man in public life and have
sought to increase circulation by the
cruellest and most indecent cartoons,
supplemented by red ink head lines,
editorial vituperation and persistent,
constant effort to array mass against
class and arouse the worst passions
of mankind. The time has come when
this kind of journalism can no longer
be safely tolerated, when the good
name of this nation demands that such
debauchery of public principle be
stopped, and stopped forever. —New
Haven Leader.
G. A. R. MEN ACT.
Colonel Fred Taylor Post Adopts Reso
lutions Denouncing Yellow
Journalism.
Colonel Fred Taylor Post, G. A. R.,
of Philadelphia, has adopted resolu
tions which set forth:
"The comrades of Colonel Fred Tay
lor Post, No. 19, Grand Army of the
Republic, record the fact that we deep
ly deplore and detest all such teach
ings and utterances that lead weak
minded and misguided creatures to
deeds of assassination, and we stand
pledged to help, aid and assist lawful
authority, to the fullest extent of our
power, in putting a summary ending
to such treasonable utterances, wheth
er made by Anarchists, Nihilists, So
cialists, political leaders or editors of
vicious and dangerous papers and mag
azines.
"We also enter upon record that we
deplore and denounce the publication
of the offensive and diabolical car
toons that appear in the most con
spicuous places in sensational and
unscrupulous newspapers. Inflaming
the minds of men and women to das
tardly thoughts and deeds, arid. In the
Interest of American law, order, peace,
government and decency, we recom
mend the passage of the severest laws
against all such pernicious journalism.
"And we also enter upon record our
approval of the action of the mayor of
Philadelphia and his director of public
safety In resolutely prohibiting quite
recently the Anarohtstic agitator, Em
ma Goldman, from publicly promulgat
ing in this city her infamous doctrines
of treason to the state and nation—
doctrines which lead to the assassina
tion of those high in authority, and
for no other reason than that they
are the legally chosen representatives
of law, order, peace and government."
The Flnlunders.
No northern people are hardier or
more spirited than the FlnlanJers.
with their clear complexions and dark
blue eyes. In spite of their harsh cli
mate they have the most healthful liv
ing of perhaps any of the northern
races and keep equal degrees of ro
mance, daring and good feeling In their
natures. You do not find imagination,
force and adventure In a race without
coarse, plenteous fare, pure air and
cleanliness.
Hla Only Request.
It happened once that a faithful Mos
lem married, but when he saw his
wife she proved to be very unprepos
sessing. Some days after the marriage
his wife said to him, "My dove, as you
have many relatives, I wish you would
lot me know before whom I may un
veil." "My gaaselle," he replied, "if
thou wilt only hide thy face from me I
eare not to whom thou showest it."
Extremes.
Mrs. Crawford—So you haven't found
the course of lectures on cooking you
attended to be of much practical use?
Mrs. Crabshaw—No, my dear. They
either told you how to prepare terrapin
and canvasback or else how to lire on
35 cents a day.—Life.
Japan Is the largest consumer of rice
In the world, the average being 300
pounds n person a year. The Ameri
cans use but four pounds per capita.
A Mtile am • ttfe Haver.
The mine mule known it th-tog or two
Quite as well as does the army mule.
In one of the mines In the Pittsburg
district tht ever patient mule proved
himself possessed of an almost human
sense of coming danger. One morning
when the full shift was at work there
occurred an unusual thing. The air
currents had seemed defective, and
there was a restless f««)>9g among the
miners, something like the uneasiness
of fove stock before e storm. A few
flays previous a chamber had been
closed on account of gas, and the men
were Instinctively thinking of what
that might mean. Suddenly there was
a clatter of hoofs, and a mule appear
ed. Its long ears were quivering, and
Its intelligent eyes were full "of terror.
It gave n shrill bray and then was
gone down the entry, broken traces fly
ing after It. The men looked at one
another, and then the feverishness of
the air moved them w 'h one impulse.
Dropping picks, they » 1 precipitately,
making a headlong dash through the
labyrinth for the open air. With scared
faces other miners joined them, and
while they were wondering what it
all meant a dull, deep explosion went
rumbling through the hollow back of
them, followed by wave upon wave of
noxious vapors. Then they understood.
When the bodies of the few poor men
who had been hopelessly entrapped
were recovered, another was tenderly
carried out with theirs—that of the lit
tle gray mule that sounded the warn
ing.— Leslie's Weekly.
Serpent Wornhlp.
It was probably in the character of a
healer that the serpent was regarded
by the Milesians, siuce most of the lo
calities of Ireland connected with tra
ditions of these reptiles destroyed by
St. Patrick were esteemed places of
healing. To these spots, generally holy
wells, the people of the poor and igno
rant classes still resort as pious pil
grims taking relief from their infirmi
ties. They drink of the sacred waters
and circle about the fount on their
knees while repeating their prayers,
and it is a curious fact, as we are in
formed by an old time traveler In Ire
land, that this circling was formerly
done "groveling on hands and knees or
even lying flat on the ground and wrig
gling like a snake." This must un
doubtedly have been a relic of the an
cient rites, though the people had not
the slightest idea of its origin or even
that such a religion had ever existed
on their island.
In the same way they still on Bel
tane eve (Bel-tinne, or Bel's fire) kindle
"bale tires" on the summit of every
hill and send flaming wheels rolling
down their sides, though ignorant that
they are celebrating a day consecrated
to Bel, or Baal, by their Phoenician and
Irish ancestors, who observed it in a
precisely similar manner.—New Lippin
cott.
Rcqnlrcmenta of n Good Stroke Our.
During practice a good stroke is one
who is regular in his rowing and easy
to follow. lie must give the big men
plenty of time to finish the stroke out.
lie must keep them swinging steadily,
and In a trial over the whole or any
portion of the course he must get ev
ery possible ounce of work out of them,
so that they are completely rowed out
without having got short or flurried on
the way. In a race he must know the
capabilities of his crew and must be
able to feel how they are going, when
they want easing off and when they
are capable of higher pressure, while
above all he must have that degree of
generalship which will enable him to
decide in a well contested race when
to put the pressure on in order to take
the advantage of station at a certain
point of the course, when to ease off
If he is holding his opponent at a
slower rate of stroke, how far It is
necessary for him to save himself for
an effort at the end and especially in
a really close contest the exact mo
ment at which he Should make tho
"grande attaque."—Saturday Review.
They Were All Tired.
The parlor entertainer has some amus
ing experiences, although he Is not al
ways good natured enough to tell them
against himself. One who appreciates
a Joke, however, relates that on a cer
tain occasion he had been performing
at an "at home" and responding to so
many encores that the programme be
came unusually long.
After It was over his hostess with her
young daughter came up to him and,
after congratulating him on the success
of the afternoon, said most cordially:
"Oh, Mr. Blank, come and have some
refreshments and sit down for awhile.
I know you must be awfully tired."
"Yes," chimed In tho sweet young
daughter, with the best intentions in
the world; "I'm sure we are."—New
York Mall and Express.
A French Novel.
lon—l adore herl
Narcisse—l Idolize her!
"Ha, then we are rivals!"
"Yes, but still friends!"
"Aye, friends till death P
"Let us tell her!"
They tell her.
She says:
# "Let us die!"
' Jfhey buy 0 centimes' worth of char
coal.
They Ignite It.
They Inhale It.
They all die.
Vive l'amour!—J. C. Goddard's "A
Leave of Absence."
lllnntratliiK Hl* Subject.
"No, you can't see Mr. Blankblank
this morning during oflJce hours."
"But lie'R a public official, isn't he?"
"Yes, and he's engaged In the public
lervlee."
"May I ask what he's doing?"
"He's writing a magazine article on
How Can We Improve the Officehold-
Vs Neglectful Treatment of the Pub
ic?' "—Cleveland Plain Dealer.