CUNNING PET MONKEY.
Clever Creature Haliy
luatrad of l'alllaic Its
Earn,
Jack, my pet monkey, is full of mis
chief. One day he got into the kitchen,
and whin the cook was not paying par
ticular attention to him he jumped up
on the table, seized a pan of water that
was standing' there and emptied its
contents on the sleeping cat, says a
writer in the Cincinnati Enquirer. He
never lost an opportunity to play a
joke on old Tab. or on the vouager
cats, either, for that matter. He often
succeeded, when he was caged, in en
ticing the cats close to the bars, when
he would seize their ears and pull them
until the victims fairly squealed.
This habit of his was well known to
MISS ANNA MORGAN.
r-"j l
' i >
This charming young lady, who is the eldest daughter of J. JPierpont Morgan,
tfre famous financier and trust organizer, has recently completed a two weeks' hunt
ing trip through the Colorado mountains, iri which lions, lynx, wildcats, foxes and
coyotes fei) before her gun. She is .in excellent shot, and rarely misses her game.
Miss Morgan was a member of the hunting party headed by Prof. Henry K. Os
born. The party spent most of the time in the vicinity of Marvin Lake, 25 miles
from Colorado Springs.
a neighbor of mine, and once, when
the was visiting me with her baby, the
little one, unnoticed for the moment,
crawled up to the cage to have a good
look at Jack. The mother saw it and
rushed to rescue tihe child, but. J&ck
was too quick for her and had grasped
it by the shoulders before she could
reach the spot. He had no intention of
puliitig its ears, however, for he drew
it gently to the bars and kissed »4
right on the face.
SOUND KEEPS FLIES AWAY.
Tlint IN Why Mn«lrlnn« Are Not An
ltoyed Are
IMayiax,
"While listening to an op»n-air con
cert the other day," said a young man.
reports the Philadelphia Record, "1
was greatly annoyed by the flaes. which
were so persistent that I eould hardly
drive them away. 1 wondered how
BURIAL PLACE OF JEFFERSON AT MONTICELLO.
Montlcello, Va., has often been called the shrine of democracy. The democrats
of Missouri will erect a new monument over the grave of the Immortal Thomas.
More thai; 1.000 of the leading democrats of St. Louis and other parts of Missouri
have already responded to the call of the Jefferson club, of St. Louis, to unveil a
monument of red sienite on the sage's grave at Monticello on October 10. The pro
moters of the memorial exercises propose to make the unveiling one of the most
memorable occasions in the history of the democratic party.
the musicians, with both hands busy
playing, stood them, and I drew near
the shell in which they sat to see. To
ray surprise I found that there was
not a fly in the shell, and then, to my
greater surprise, I discovered why this
was. The sound waves of the music,
rolling with tremendous volume from
the shell, kept out the flies. /The in
sects could not fly against the waves,
though they tried hard. Hundreds of
them were struggling frantically to
reach the shell, but they might as well
have tried to fly against a tornado as
against those sound wavyf Thus pro
tected, inclosed by a nrogic curtain
made of their own music, the musicians
played Wagner, unannoyed by the
sticky and pestering flies."
(ireat Itlver IIIIH In in Sllirrin,
The Irtish river in Siberia is 2,200
miles ;n length and diaiusooo,ooo miles'
cf territory _ -
MINISTER WU TO THE WOMEN.
Tke Fantiiii Clilnetie Ofßclal'a Ile
• p«u« to a Tonut fur "Tke
Ladies."
The wise and facetious Minister Wu
Ting-Fang made his appearance in a
new role the other evenin.g at a large
gathering where both ladies and gen
tlemen were present, where he was the
most conspicuous guest. He was asked
to say a few words to the ladies, in re
sponse to a toast to them. He said:
"When 1 see so many finely built wom
en confronting me, and I am called
upon to be the "gallant'' of the mo
ment, what can 1 say but th;nt I wish
for that moment only I were n«ot a
Chinaman —I should like to be an
American as I stand here, so that
•each one of j-ou would appear as beau-
! tiful to me as yo.u .actually must be
when seen through your countrymen's
e.yes. Alas! the slight difference in the
formation of my orbs cannot do justice
to the impression you make upon me,
individually and jointly .and severally.
But there are some well-nourished fig
ures and forms amongst .you that real
ly appear to be as fine as the best that
my own fertile country has produced.
And your intelligence and souls, I am
told, which are hidden under your in
tricate fashionable apparel, are more
beautiful even than yotir forms. Ma 3'
yoti .all feel the depth iiivd sincerity of
my admiration, and may your youth
ful looks and honorable years always
w:aJk hand in hand."
XorweKlnn Slorrkniwr,
A peculiarity of the Norwegian
farm i* the "stabbur," a sort -of store
house set upon posts, with either tin
pan or a large sheet of slate on the
top of each post to prevent the rats
and mice and other depredators from
obtaining admission. The "stabbur"
is intended for the storage of the
winter's supply of provisions for the
family, such as flour, dried meat, fish,
cured pork, "fiatbrod," the bread
which is baked only once or twice a
year; butter and cheese, and the ex
tra clothing and bedding that are not
in daily use. An orthodox "stabbur"
is usually built with two stories, one
projecting over the other, and it is
generally of artistic design, with an
ornamental balcony.
InteroMtliiK Bnl Unprofitable.
A Vale professor is out in Colorado
spending time by demonstrating that
the tail of an adder may be grafted
onto a rattlesnake. Wouldn't it be
more profitable, suggests the Chicago
Record-Herald, for the professor to
try to discover some means o i exter
minating potato bugs?
CAMERON COUNTY PRESS, THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 5, 1901.
GOVERNMENTAL AID.
Biirncti from Adilrcm Delivered by
Col. J. 11. Killebrrw Uefore Teu-
Deuee lload Convention.
The general government, of the
United States should aid in building
the great highways, as was contem
plated by the founders of the govern
ment. In fact, the power given in the
constitution to establish post offices
and post roads might justly be con
ctrued so as to includeall roads needed,
for postal service. Itural mail deliv
ery will necessitate thousands of such
roads through the country districts.
Why should not the general govern
ment aid in building them? How could
the government expend money that
would do so much good to the people
of this nation? Good roads would
make the country moreattractive, and
wo!iald tend t© relieve the congestion of
population in the cities. The greatest
draw back to country life is the inabil
ity to move with ease from point to
point, owing to the bad condition of
the highways. Why cannot the gov-
A .ML'DHOLE JUST AHEAD.
{Roads Like This Make Driving in the
Country a Torture.)
♦rntneot make appropriations for the
highway® on land as well as the high
way-6 .on -water? But few go over the
latter, while millions .go over the for
mer. Congress votes subsidies to rail
roads. steamships and for mapping the
teas of commerce. This is a very neces
•ary aaid important work, but not
more important than making the high
ways on laJid. We all know how
anxious congressmen are to get an ap
propriation in the rivers and harbors
bills for the improvement of some in
significant stream in their state. How
much wiser it would be to vote this ap
propriation for making some highway
betweeai two cities or between two
•tal.e6. Hundreds of millions of dol
lars iha<v« been wa-sted on streams that
can newer be made navigable, which, if
expended on our highways, W'ould give
ns the best system of roads in the
world.
Snppose the general government
should appropriate e*>er\y ten years an
amount equal to that now expended
for pensions, say, $150,000,000, for the
building and improvements the roads
of the country. This <w-oiald give, in
round numbers, two dollars per .capita
for the entire population .of the United
States. This, continued for two gen
erations, would grade, macadamize,
and gravel every great public thor
oughfare in the country, when aided
by local appropriations.
Who would begrudge the expendi
ture after such roads have b<en built,?
Who would not say that the expendi
ture was a wise one, elevating in its
influences and adding immensely to
the tangible wealth and commerce of
the country? We paid more than this
amount in the expenditures of the
Spanish war. Is there a single person
who would not receive a benefit from
good roads far greater than he re
ceived from the Spanish war? Put it
in another way: Is there a single per
son now using the highways of the
country, or whose business is in any
way affected by the traffic on the high
ways of the country (and this touches
the business interests of every man
and woman in the United States), who
would not be willing to pay as much for
good roads as he kas pwd for the war
with Spain?
In almost every material thing the
United States takes the first rank ex
cept in the matter of roads. In this re
epect it is far behind the most en
lightened nations. In all the states
some good roads have been built, but
would it not add immensely to the
growth and prosperity of this country
to have its highways improved so as to
be in harmony with all its other great
improvements? It is the one thing in
which we are still lingering in the un
relieved darkness of the Middle Ages;
it is the one blot upon our escutcheon
of material progress; it is the one
thing that would benefit every man,
woman and child in the United States,
and yet we hesitate to do it.
Objections are made by many that
It is not the duty of the general gov
ernment to aid in building roads; that
if it did it would place upon the gen
eral government the responsibility for
the welfare of the people. But is not
the general government responsible
for the welfare of the people? The
constitution gives the authority to
build roads for postal service. Why
not, then, build them? The improve
ment of our rivers is done for the wel
fare of the people. Why should not
roads be built for their greater wel
fare? Both are highways, one by wa
ter, the other by land.
The quality of the milk depends first
on the cows which produce it, second
upon the food and care of the animals,
and third on the management of the
milk after it has been produced.
When cream is once ripened, it
should be churned without delay. The
more it sours, the more it deteriorate*
Lamentable Porgrtfolnrai,
I As the steamer pitched and rolled in the
wsvch the traveler heard through the thin
partition a wailing voice in the next state
room exclaim:
"Oh, mamma, it's coming on again, worse
than ever!"
Then he hoard a sleepy voice in reply:
"Marie, why don't you follow the direc
tions you told" me about before we c«ume on
board'!"
"Because I've forgotten whether I ought
to breathe in as the vessel rises and let
the breath go out as it moves downward,
or whether it ought to be the other way,
and O! O! 0! I wish I was dead!"— Chicago
Tribune.
A Scholarly Retort.
A famous scholar, whose hobby was the
derivation of words, had occasion to store
bis furniture while proceeding to the conti
nent in quest of the origin of the term
"Juggins. During his researches in Ber
lin ne received from the warehouse com
pany the following letter: "Sir—We have
the honor to inform you that the mattrass
you sent to our store had the moth in it.
Since the epidemic would expose the goods
of other clients to injury, we have caused
your mattrass to be destroyed."
The scholar replied: "Dear Sir —My mat
tress may, as you say, have had inoth in it,
lout I am confident that it bad an 'e' in it
also." —London King.
All Servant* Alike.
Towne—l could never understand why
political officeholders are called public
servants.
Browne —Why not?
"Because they're really our bosses."
"Well? I guess you never kept house, did
you?"— Philadelphia Press.
111 M Scliemp.
Tigg—Did you hear what Count Ded
broke tried to do when he came over here
in search of an heiross?
Nigg—No. What was it?
"Wanted a position as tax assessor, so
he could get inside information."—Balti
more American.
So Timely!
"I think it is so nice," said the fair young
thing at the boarding house table during
a labor discussion, "that the men can have
their strikes during tlie hot months, when
they would be wanting vacations, anyway."
Baltimore American.
It is always easier to praise virtue than
to pursue it.—ltara's liora.
THE MARKETS^
New York, Aug. 3ft
Floivir—lnactive and about steady.
Wheat—„\a. 2 red 74y s c.
Corn — Xo. 2 -at 59% c.
Oats—No. I white 40c.
Beeves—No trading-. Veals SS.OO(Ji
8.00.
Sheep—Steady at $2.i0(53.G5, lambs
flogs—Yorkers $6.80.
Cleveland, Aug. 30. —Flour—Winter
■wheat, patents, $3.60(a3.00.
Wheat— Xa. 2 red 7iy 2 c.
Corn—Xo. 2 yellow 57% c.
Oats—Xo. 2 white 38%e.
Butter—Best creamery 21% c.
Cheese—York state Ho.
Egg's—tßest 16c.
I'otatoes—Xew $1.00(51.25.
Cattle Best steers S4.BS@SJM,
ca 1 ves $(i.00(« 7-25.
Hogs—YorKers $6.40.
Sheep
$5.00f05.2a.
Toledo, Aug. 30.—Wheat—'Cash
71 >/.,c.
Corn—Cash 57c.
Oats—Gash 35% c.
East Liberty, Aug. 30.—Cattle—
Choice $5.60(0.5.75, prime $5.25(a5.5Q.
Hogs—Be.«t grades s6.6o(iri 6.75.
Sheep—wethers $4.00@4.10,
lambs $5.00(a<L25.
East Buffalo. Aug. 30.—Cattle—Fair
to light steers $4.35@4.65.
Hogs—Choice Yorkers $6.60@6.75,
pigs $6.25(&C..'J5.
Sheep—Wethers $3.55@4.90, lambs
$5. 6.00.
Cincinnati, Aug. 30.—flog*—Active
at $4.30(f» 6.50.
Cattle —Easy at $2.25(ci 2.25.
A DEAD LIVER
He thinks he lives, but he's a dead
one. No person is really alive whose
liver is dead. During the winter
1110I 1105 * peo P^ e s P enc * nearly all their time
* n warm > stuffy houses or offices or
|f workshops. Many don't get as much
CiSe tllCy everybody
arid rotting matter staying in
you are, with a dead liver, and spring is the
*Htime for resurrection. Wake up the dead!
Get all the filth out of your system, and get
, ready for the summer's trials with clean, clear blood, body, brain free from bile. Force
is dangerous and destructive unless used in a gentle persuasive way, and the right plan
is to give new strength to the muscular walls of the bowels, and stir up the liver to new
life and work with CASCARETS, the great spring cleaner, disinfectant and bowel tonic.
Get a box to-day and see how quickly you will be
CANDY CATHARTIC
25c. soJ''^^^Bi^Sl?Sßilj'''*'^*^^DßUGGlSTS
To any needy mortal suffering from bowel troubles and too poor to buy CASCARETS we will send a box free. Address
Sterling Remedy Company, Chicago or New York, mentioning advertisement and paper. 424
Bow lie I_/o»ed Hei,
A negro man went into Mr. E——'» offict
for the purpose of instituting a divorce suit
against his wife. Mr. E proceeded tu
question him as to his grounds for com
plaint. Mr. E— — looked up from his paiiers,
and saw that big tears -were running down
over the cheeks of the applicant for divorce.
"Why," said the lawyer, "you seem to
care a great deal for your wife? Did you
love her?"
"Love her, sir? I jest analyzed her!!'
This was more than professional dignity
could withstand, and Mr. K—— laughed
until the negro, offended, carried his ca.-l
elsewhere.—Ki*ort. Stories.
Seelctns to Solve a Myntery.
The little East end girl who had hash
for breakfast the other morning looked at
the last mouthful of her share and
earnestly as she poised it on her fork. Then
she passed it out of sight. But the mys
tery still engrossed her mind.
"Daddv," she said, "what was hash -when
it was alive?"— Recollections of Mrs. Min
nie E. Leo, in What to Eat.
At Noramlx'ita I'ark.
First Monkey—What is that standing out
there with its hair parted in the middle and
sucking a cane?
Second Monkey—That's a man.
"Just to think that such a looking thing
as that should have descended from us!"—
Boston Post;
An Anmer for the Anxlona.
Marie 8., of Waverly—No, Marie, just be
cause the young man writes you a letter on
fly paper, you need not jump at the conclu
sion that he is stuck on you. No, indeed.—
Baltimore American.
Ask Toar Healer for Alien's Foot- Ease,
A powder to shake into your shoes. It rests
the feet. Cures Swollen, Sore, Hot, Callous,
Aching. Sweating feet and Ingrowing Nails,
Corns, Bunions. Allen's Foot-Ease makes
new or tight shoes easy. Sold by all drug
gists and shoe stores, 25c. Sample mailed
fkee. Address Alien S. 01msted,Leftoy,N.Y.
Another llecoril Sinumlied.
Finding undigested food in the stomach of
a Siberian mammoth that hail been dtad
50,000 years breaks the record for chronic
dyspepsia.—Louisville Courier-Journal.
Piso's Cure for Consumption is an infalli
ble medicine for coughs and colds. —N. W.
Samuel, Ocean Grove. N. J., Feb. 17, 1900.
Fur from Sutltelent.
Her Admirer —You know I would do any
thing in reason to please you.
She —Anything in reason? I knew you
only imagined yourself in love!— Puck.
Cheek Cnaichs, Colds and Croup
With Hoxsie's Croup Cure. Noopiuin. 50cts.
He who slanders another sinuts himself.
—liam's Horn.
PjSF IS A SUCKER?]
IF IT BEARS
v/KSMw/ //this trade mark j
M\
Wm/M BRX*® I
IT I* THE BEST
A/ /ffY J/AX// WATERPROOF
/j //A/ /M' OILED COAT
/ I/I IN THE WORLD.
J,res MADt fOR SIRVICE
Ia«»I23U6S tiTU ' IN Tfll ROU6HSST HfEATHU.
TA«NO-> CATALOGUES TREE
SHOWING 112 ULL LINE OP GARMENTS AND MATS.
A J.TOWER CO , BOSTON, MASS.4BI
rTKDU TREES bestuy itsi-i/ YfcAKS,
V I tltftf* Lahgebt Nursery.
Fbcit Book free. We niy CASH
B"ll' Want MORK Salksmkn r*/\ 112 Weekly
W' STARK BROS. Louisiana. Mo.: Pan' -m-V v.,7 r
nDII I IMS WHISKY and other drug
¥~ I IWI habits cured. Wo wnut the
worst cases. Hook and references FKEE. l)r.
11. M. WOOLLEY, It" V :t, Atlanta, Gu.
WISCONSIN and MICHIGAN
HOMESTEAD and SCHOOL LANDS.
You can 1..< ate lui acres near lialiroad ami Markets.
For particulars address W. W. l.l B ht, itacine, Wis.
SOZODONT for the Teeth "><■ Breath 25*
At all Stores, or by mail for theprict. HALL & RUCKEL, New York.
ABSOLUTE
SECURITY.
Genuine
Carter's
Little Liver Pills.
Must Bear Signature of
5M Fac-Slmlle Wrapper Below.
▼err small ud aa etfff
to UxJfce as an^ar.
IrADTrtfcl""
UArU tKo FOR DIZZINESS.
KITTLE FOR BIUOUSNESS.
WIYCO FOR TORPID LIVER.
HD[ 11 « FOR CONSTIPATION.
H ■ FOR SALLOW SKIN.
MMI IFOR THE COMPLEXION
p . I OEKt'IZVB MU«TWfcV« jyaWATUWC.
fcScSrfts I Purely
CURE SICK HEADACHE.
20,000
HARVEST HANDS
It-fiI.TJ.fc—yJFnrWBPPH Required to harvest ttao
kiy«i3W < grain crop ut W« itern
*yWPi i I N CAN All A. The inosfc
t? ill IJrr-rffc* i> V* abundant yield on thor
3*lContinent. Report* ore*
WLp*+ P Ifthat tbt; average yield of
< No - 1 Hard Wheat In
iWr if N OflvlH Western Canada wMI b*
' W over thirty buebeloto the>
W" 2.££JBH| acre. Prices 112« r farm*
! » » 'W— j,elp will be excellent.
Splendid Ranching Lands adjoining the Wheat Beit.
FWAnnAi*iAMA will be run from all poiuu*
EXCURSIONS
LAN DM. Secure a home at once, and If you wish
to purchase at prevailing price?, and secure the ad
vantage of the low rates, apply for
Hates, etc., to F. PKDLKY. Supt, Immigration,
Ottawa, Canada. ort«» JOS. YOUNG, 61 Ms State L&i#-.
Columbus, 0., Canadian Government Agent.
p%T When visiting BnffUlo, do wot
fail to «eo tlie CANADIAN EXHIBIT
| at the Pan-American*
I '
HEADERS OP THIS PAPER
I DESIRING TO BUY ANYTHING?
ADVERTISED IN ITS COLUMNS
SlIOULI) INSIST UPON HAVING
WHAT THKY ASK FOR. REFUSING
j ALL SUBSTITUTES OB IMITATIONS.
I*— ' ' '
ni in IMATISM Ka« B S££SSfc
UUnl I the only positive cure. Pane*-
I nnCU wsMaic&fis?
U/AMTCfI CENTLEMAN or LADY
WAil I til AGENT, only one In TP M
J S-U cncli (owi, to tiEI.L I t A
at Importer's price,. WRITE QUICKLY to
IIOMK tea CO., 8* Pearl Street, New York.
sst Cough Syrup. Tastes Good. Use
In time. Sold by druggists. I2f
aaamaßgßßßpr
A. N. K.-C 1880 '
<m a,r<> ' disability and Widowhood; P.t
ibHilMiw any V. S. S.rvlce. I.AWS FREE.
4.« Jld OHMK K * SONS, Cincinnati, O. i W..hlu K loa, D. TV
7