Cameron County press. (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, March 07, 1901, Page 2, Image 2

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    2
CAMERON COUNTY PRESS.
H. H. MULLIN, Editor.
Published Every Thursday.
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f'rr year '2 no
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sre low and uniform, and will be furnished on
application.
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three limes or less, each subsequent inser
tion 50 cents per square.
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■ertlon: ft cents per line for each subsequent
consecutive Insertion.
Obituary notices over Ave lines. 10 cents per
line Simple announcements of births, mar
riages and deaths will be inserted free.
Business cards, five lines or less. 45 per year;
over five lines, at the regular rates of adver
tising.
No local inserted for less than 75 cents per
lsaue.
JOB PRINTING.
The Job department of the Prkss Is complete
and affords facilities for doing the best class of
work. Paiiticli.au attention paid-jo I>aw
Printing.
No paper will be discontinued until arrear
rges are paid, except at the option of the pub
isher.
Papers sent out of the county must be paid
lor in advance
According to the Washington cor
respondent of the Chicago Record,
. _ . . ... , one of the recent
A Society drl
brides has been
SmiiKKler, ... ,
guilty of some
•harp practice at Uncle Sam's ex
pense: "Some weeks ago a great fuss
was made because the inspectors of
the New York custom house held up
for appraisement several trunks
filled with line wearing apparel
brought brand-new from Paris by a
young women of prominent connec
tion in Washington society. Secre
tary Gage, when appealed to, gave an
order for the release of the luggage
upon being assured that the owner
had suffered the destruction of all
lier wearing apparel during the siege
of the legations in Peking, where she
was a member of Minister Conger's
household. A few days ago this
tame young woman wa* married at
Epiphany church with great cere
mony, and her bridal gowns and elab
orate trousseau are described in the
newspapers as having been recently
obtained in Paris, where she stopped
for that purpose on her way home
from Peking. It turns out, too, that
she was not a member of Minister
Conger's household, but was a guest
of Mrs. Squiers. She smuggled her
wedding outfit through the custom
house without the payment of duty,
even if there was a good deal of mis
representation on the way. The
young woman is a grandniece of a
former justice of the supreme court,
and the man she married is a grand
son of a member of the United States
senate."
A remarkable scene took place in
JCmv York the other day. A crowded
cable car was rumbling along Lexing
ton avenue, when suddenly a gentle
man who had just got in arose and
signaled the conductor to stop the
car, at the same time saying, in a
loud voice: "Some one in this car
has smallpox." There was a frantic
scramble for the doors, and the of
fender was found to be a woman,
heavily veiled, occuping a corner seat,
vho was on her way to the hospital.
The gentleman was a physician, and
his knowledge of the disease enabled
hint to oetect it by the peculiar odor
which always accompanies it.
From a London exchange we learn
that Queen Victoria was personally
Insured for over $5,000,000, and many
outsiders carried insurance upon her
life. Many actors, for instance, whose
business! must be suspended for a long
time after the death of the queen, will
How have their policies paid by the
various insurance concerns. The
queen's death will probably entail the
largest insurance loss ever recorded.
By all accounts the women in To
peka, Kan., are gambling at a fearful
rate. It is said that a young woman
cf that city started out the other day
to buy her wedding trousseau, having
several hundred dollars. Instead of
going on a shopping tour she called
at the house of a married friend and
there found a poker game in progress.
She was "broke" and in debt in a couple
©!' hours.
As a hard-luck story it would he dif
ficult to match that of Albert G. Wood
ruff, of Newark, who, while trying to
commit suicide by hanging himself in
the Essex county jail lately, was pre
cipitated to the stone floor by the
•breaking of the rope, thereby receiving
a fracture of the skull, from which he
expired before he could putin opera
tion any other method for killing him
self.
Mr. Thompson, a member of the
Connecticut legislature, introduced a
new word the other day in a legislative
debate. It was in a horse story. A
neighbor of Mr. Thompson's went to
buy a fast horse. After having been
shown some with past records and
some with possible future records, the
man said: "1 don't want a has-been
nor a will-be; I want an is-er."
Sistersville, \Y. Ya., which is in a
rich oil and gas country, got its name
from the fact that an apparently value
less tract of 1,500 acres was given to
Seven sisters, and consequently called
"sisters' farm." A little prospecting
Showed tiie land to be immensely val
uable, and a. growing town of some
thousands of inhabitants now occupies
the farm.
THE CANDIDATE IN 1904.
Ulia Ihe Oeniocrii t« Will No ml milt"
in tin* !S>tl Presidential
Cumi»ii Ikii.
alio announcement from within the
democratic national committee that
another nomination for Mr. Hr.van is
"impossible" and that there, is "an
abiding fait li in the possibilities of Mr.
Olney" would be important if we were
in the beginning of 1004; but in Feb
ruary, 1901, it is «n idle prediction, ex
cept that it is injudicious according to
all political precedents.
The pushing forward of a specific
candidate prematurely has been re
garded hitherto as u sinister device,
and more especially does it have that
appearance when, its in this case, the
celebration of Mr. Olney is accom
panied with a reference to Mr. Hill as
a "cheap politician" who is "playing
for the nomination." hopelessly as
against the "wise and careful Olney."
For his part, Mr. Hill has made no such
mistake, but lias caused it to be an
nounced at this stage that he is not a
candidate for the nomination and has
only disinterested solicitude for his
party's welfare. Neither has he put
himself in an attitude of criticism of
any candidate suggested, whether Mr.
Bryan oranother. He may be a "cheap
politician," but he is better versed in
the game of politics than is Mr. Olney,
if the gentleman from Massachusetts
is at. all privy to such an announce
ment of his candidacy.
Moreover, this pitting of Olney
against Hill, with the bitterness of
feeling which the manner of it is sure
to provoke, may conduce to the benefit
of Bryan rather than diminish his
chances of getting the nomination. In
stead of making his candidacy "impos
sible," such talk is likely rather to tend
to his advantage by dividing the oppo
sition to him.
That the contemptuous estimate of
the political value of Mr. Hill put for
ward by Mr. Olney's friends does not
represent the sentiment of his party
was indicated by the peculiar distinc
tion accorded him by the last demo
cratic national convention, and since
the election evidences that his candi
dacy is looked on favorably in the
southern states have been many, more
especially of recent weeks, when a
proposed visit by him to the south has
drawn from its newspapers most flat
tering expressions of regard and con
fidence.
The launching of the candidacy of
Mr. Olney or anybody else, moreover,
is a waste of effort, because no signs
of the crystallization of a democratic
issue will appear before the session
of the next congress and the elections
for congress which will succeed it in
1902. The character of the issue made
will go far and is likely to be decisive
in determining the character, if not
the individuality, of the candidate to
be nominated for the presidency two
years later. Prudence dictates, accord
ingly, that backers of any particular
aspirant should hold their man in re
serve until the political situation is
thus clarified. If the democrats should
carry the next congress an issue would
be established in their victory which
would make pertinent, the discussion
of a candidate titti <t to represent it;
but beforehand the sagacious politi
cians among them are contenting
themselves with silent though heavy
thinking.—X. Y. Sun.
TOO MUCH FREE TRADE.
The Protective Policy of the lotted
States I'lneluK I K Ahenil of
lOiiKlnnil 111 Commerce.
A dispatch to the Xew York Evening
Post from London alludes to the re
markable change Ibat has recently
come about in the relative positions
commercially of Great Britain and the
United States. It says English jour
nals accept with notable equanimity
the disclosure that Great Britain has
lost her preeminence among the na
tions in export trade, and adds:
"The t'nlu-ii States Is Riven first place by
last year's tisures, Great Britain the sec
ond and Germany the third. Moreover, the
percentage of increase for the past live
years is: I'nited Stat"s. 47; Great Britain,
—!, and Germany, 25. There will he many
homilies on these figures when England
wakes up to their significance. Meanwhile
some stir has been created in commercial
circles in the nortii by the remarks in
which the president of the Glasgow
chamber of commerce indulged in a recent
address in disparagement of free trade. He
especially instanced America's prosperity
to a point which staggered credulity un
der the most drastic protection, and de
clared that England one day would realize
that it was no part of its duty to keep open
door throughout all sections of the globe
under hi* control for.he benefit of unre
ciprocating foreigners. This speech and
the expt ctations of some leading Manches
ti r men of commerce as to the nature of
the financial proposals to be laid before
parliament at the coming session are lead
ing free traders to furbish up their weap
ons In behalf of free trade."
It is somewhat surprising that so
ardent a supporter of free trade as the
Evening Post would publish a state
ment of that character. It has been so
persistently asserted by newspapers
of the Post order that England's com
mercial greatness was due wholly to
free trade, and that the United States,
hampered by protection, could not
hope to secure a large export business,
that a great many persons have been
inclined to believe it.
Facts, however, are unanswerable
things. And the fact that the I'nited
States, with its strongly protective
tariff, has surpassed free trade Eng
land in exports is a hard one for the
free trade theorists to get over. It is
quite satisfactory to protectionists,
however, and wholly in line with their
teachings from the first- that the ade
quate protection of home industries
would lead to such development and
perfection sis to enable us to success
fully compete with other producers in
the markets of the world.
Kvery official report showing the
commerce of the world is additional
proof of the soundness of the portec
tion argument. There arc ample signs
that England is perceiving its force
and growing a little tired of free trade.
—Troy Times.
CAMERON COUNTY PRESS, THURSDAY, MARCH 7, 1901.
CUBA AND REPUBLICANS.
l'ro 1111* cm of l-'alr Trentuient W ill Be
I-1111 li fill I y Kepi l>> I lit* A ti
nt I n 1 11 rut lon.
The democrat ie story that the repub
licans are likely to have a serious dis
agreement over :he Cubun question
has not the slightest foundation in
fact. There are some differences of
view among the republicans as to the
wisdom of that Teller rider on the war
resolutions which pledged the United
States to give the Cubans a chance to
frame a government of their own after
the United States armies should drvie
the Spaniards out. Many republicans
say that that expression was unwise.
If the situation were here again that
particular deliverance would probably
not be repeated. Some democrats as
well as some republicans regret that
utterance. Ex-Secretary Olney, it will
be remembered, recently declared in a
magazine article that the promise was
foolish, and he intimated that it ought
not to be kept, lie said, as many other
Americans of all parties have often
said in the past, that Cuba geographic
ally was a natural appendage of the
United Stall's territory, and he was
in favor of holding r n to it.
But the president of the United
States and the republican party in gen
eral are not going to be swayed by
these considerations. So long as the
promise has been made it will be ob
served faithfully. The Cubans will be
allowed a chance to frame the sort of
a government which they want. They
are now engaged in doing that, by the
authority of the president. Whenever
the constitution which they are con
structing is completed it will be sub
mitted to congress, and that body will
pass upon it. If it proves acceptable
to the representatives of the American
people it will go into operation.
It must be borne in mind that the
Cuban constitution framers will be re
quired to determine what, in their
opinion, should be the relations be*
tween Cuba and the United States.
This is one part of their task, as was
set forth by Gen. Wood, the military
governor of the island, at the opening
of the constitutional convention. The
connection between the United States
and Cuba will have to be different from
that existing between the island and
the rest of the nations. We are stand
ing sponsor for the good behavior of
the island toward the outside world.
It would be easy for a president of Cu
ba or a majority of a Cuban congress
to get into complications with Eng
land. France or Germany, or any other
nation, which would be serious for the
island and its people if no protecting
bund should be raised in their defense.
The United States, in its own inter
est, will have to stand in the attiyude
of a guardian for Cuba against the
rest of the world. We cannot at this
late day disregard the traditions of a
hundred years and allow Cuba to be
come the prey of any European power
with whom she should be at variance.
These considerations, which are of
vital importance to the United States,
demand that we shall have the rig-lit
to demand modifications of Cuba's
constitution, if these be needed, and
shall have some sort of a supervision
over the island's foreign relations. On
these points there will be absolute har
mony between the president and his
party in congress. It is safe to predict
that a majority of the democrats will
stand with the republicans 011 this
ground.—St. Louis Globe-Democrat.
COMMENT AND OPINION.
(CThe critical moment for a demo
cratic convention will come when Bry
an knocks at the door and asks for a
hearing. The old yell, equally wild
and senseless, is merely suspended.—
St. Louis Globe-Democrat.
tCSome democrats are inclined to
take the talk about the reorganization
of their party as a joke. It may seem
funny to them, but they can never
win a national election so long as the
Bryanites are in control of the party.
—Cleveland Leader.
KTWiid the squeaky little "anti-im
perialists" still defame the memory ol
Lincoln by protesting that if he were
living lie would offer other terms than
unconditional surrender to enemies
who were in arms against the flag!—
X. Y. Mail and Express.
IT?"Mr. Bryan's paper is a disappoint
ment to many of his admirers. His
"cross of gold" inspiration was a rhe
torical triumph. But one metaphor
cannot make a literary genius any
more than one swallovt can make a
summer.—Washington Star.
Mark Twain took occa
sion to criticize President McKinley's
Philippine policy, thereby placing him
self in the ranks of those who have
made a naturally difficult task still
more difiieult and arduous for the ad
mi nist rat ion.—Albany Journal.
CTree traders throughout the
country have been rejoi< ing that "the
ship subsidy bill has been sidetracked."
Their congratulations are premature.
They should know from experience
that the republican party keeps its
platform promises.—St. Louis Globe-
Democrat.
IL'There is abunda'»4 time for the
"Bryan-in-1904" deal lc be declared
"on"and "off" many times, and thus
bring about somewhat feverish fluc
tuations in the stock cf the national
democracy, .lust now it has been de
clared both ways at once, and the con
trary declarations neutralize each
other. —Albany Journal.
E7Mr. McKinley's reelection has al
ready, in truth, inaugurated another
era of good feeling, which neither piti
ful treason, nor puny prophecy, nor
dismal declamation can banish or ab
breviate. The American people can
not be deterred by a brawling brood
of faetionists and disriritionists from
pursuing their course o, peaceful tri
umph and prosperous, development.—
Cincinnati Commercial 'tribune.
BY A PARTY VOTE.
Senate Agroos to the Spooner
Amendment.
It til veil to Prinldent llrKliilry Al
- Absolute Power Over Adair*
111 tlie I'liillpplucfc— Democrat*
Vehemently Denounced
the I'ropowition.
Washington, Feb. 28. —Not since the
enactment of the resolutions declar
ing a State of war 10 exist between
the United States and S|wiin has there
been so much [mssionute oratory as
the senate listened to yesterday.
Throughout the session the army ap
propriation bill was under discussion,
the controverted questions b'.'ing the
Spooner Philippine amendment and
the Piatt Cuban amendment.
The debate was confined entirely to
the democratic side of the chamber,
with one exception. Both amend
ments were denounced as vicious and
pernicious legislation, subversive of
the principles of this government and
unparalleled in the history of legisla
tive enactments.
The most notable speech was de
livered by Mr. Bacon, of Georgia. He
had been thoroughly aroused by re
ports that the democratic members
had been induced by questionable
means to withdraw their opposition
to the proposed legislation. Per
sonally lie declared lie would defea!.
the amendments if he could,although
lie realized the majority would have
to accept the responsibility for them.
His arraignment of the administra
tion for "coercing" congress into
enacting such provisions in the clos
ing hours of the session was sensa
tionally fierce, and he declared that
the only possible object of such ac
tion was that the "plunderers and
vultures" might have an opportunity
to prey upon the land of the Fili
pinos.
A vote was taken upon the amend
ment of Mr. Vest providing that the
action of this government or its of
ficials in the Philippines shall be sub
ject to the constitution and laws of
the United States so far as they are
applicable. The amendment was
rejected—2s to 45.
Mr. Rawlins offered an amendment
declaring it not to be the purpose of
the United States to hold permanent
sovereignty over the Philippines, but
only to the extent necessary to se
cure their pacification and to estab
lish a stable government. Bejected
—ayes -4. noes 45.
Mr. I'ettus (Ala.) offered an amend
ment providing that every person in
whom authority is vested under this
grant of | ower shall take an oath
to support the constitution of the
United States. Rejected- 25 to 41.
The Spooner amendment was
adopted —15 to 25. It is as follows:
"All military, civil and judicial ]>ow
ers necessary to govern the Philip
pine islands shall, until otherwise
provided by congress, be vested in
such manner as the president of the
United States shall direct, for the es
tablishment of civil government and
for maintaining and protecting the
inhabitants of said islands in the free
enjoyment of their liberty, property
and religion:
"Provided, that all franchises
granted under the authority hereof
shall contain a reservation of the
right to alter, amend or repeal the
same.
"Until a permanent government
shall have been established in said
archipelago, full reports shall be
made to congress on or before the
first day of each regular session of
all legislative acts and proceedings
of the temporary government insti
tuted under the provisions hereof;
and full reports of the acts of said
government, and as to the condition
of the archipelago and of its peopie.
shall be made to the president, in
cluding all information which may be
useful to congress in providing a
more permanent government."
The senate passed the army appro
priation bill at 12:54 o'clock, contain
ing the propositions of the republican
majority for the future relations be
tween the United States and Cuba.
AGAINST THE BELL CO.
A Circuit Court Judge Decide* the I'a
moii* ttcrlliicr Patent Cane.
Boston, Feb. 28.- —Judge Brown, of
the United States circuit court, has
decided against the American Bell
Telephone Co. in the famous Berliner
patent case.
The suits were the Bell Co. agains*.
the National Telephone Manufaetur
ing Co, and same against the Century
Telephone Co., brought to restrain
respondents from selling, using or
making telephones or telephonic ap
paratus with the microphone attach
ment, and to account to the Hell Co.
for past use, manufacture and sales,
upon the ground that such use, man
ufacture or sale was an infringement
of patent.
The cases were argued before
Jud£e Brown a year and a half ago,
and as they related to the same pat
ent. the microphone, were putin to
gether. and were tried as if they were
one ease. The Berliner patent is
considered one of the most import
ant held by the Hell Co. and does not
expire until November 17, l'.iOS. The
patent is the same one that has been
before the courts in the United States
vs. Bell Telephone Co. suit where it
was held that the patent was not in
valid on account of delay at the pat
ent office. The whole case turns
upon the validity of this patent.
Wrecked by lis Former Secretary.
Chestertown, Md., Feb. 28.—The
Cliestertown Building and Loan asso
ciation has gone into the hands of re
ceivers with assets of $55,000 and lia
bilities of $120,000, as the result of
the misappropriation of the funds by
its former secretary, Harry Rickey.
Rickey was cashier of tlif- Chester
town national bank. For more than
two years he made no report. The
directors on February 1.1 told him
they must have it the next day. That
night Rickey took a dose of carbolic
acid and died. His accounts with
th« bank were straight.
APPRENTICE AND MASTER.
Jl pprentlcrnhl pa Were an Important
ln«tltntloii In France During four*
teentU Century.
Apprenticeship was an important
Institution of France in the thir
teenta and fourteenth centuries, and
was regulated with the utmost care,
as will be seen by the following ac
count of "An Idler in Old France:"
By the rules of the book the master
was held responsible for bis appren
tice; and under a wise and kindly
roof, the lad who was learning to be
a master workman and a ruler in his
little world might lead a happy and
profitable life.
Often he did so, and when the day
came that he might claim his free
dom he chose to remain the paid
servant, friend and fellow worker of
the master who had sheltered him
from boyhood and taught him all
his craft, rather than to seek a for
tune less assured elsewhere.
During the years of his apprentice
ship the patron, or master, was to
feed, clothe and shelter him, in the
homely wording of the clockmaker's
rule, to cherish him "beneath his
roof, at his board, and by his
hearth." Nay, it was strictly enjoin
ed upon the master to treat his ap
prentice "as his own son," and in
some trades he was bidden to remem
ber that his responsibility did not
end on the threshold of the work
shop, that the "soul and morals" of
the little stranger had claims on his
solicitude.
In a clay when the streets of Paris
were more or less dangerous after
dark for everybody, the master was
Instructed to be careful on what
errand he dispatched the youngster;
and the pastry-cook, whose apprent
ices were often sent to cry cakes and
creams upon the public ways, were
continually warned to prevent the
lads from falling among evil com
pany.
It seems certain that, as far as the
Middle Ages are concerned, the rules,
precepts and admonitions were not
only framed with good sense and
care, bu't were very rigidly enforced
upon all masters who had youths and
lads in their employ.
High and low in the society of that
day the rod and birch were flourish
ed with small discrimination and less
nicety; and if the tutors of little
princes had leave to whip them
freely, apprentices could not expect
THANKFULTO MRS. PIWKHfIM
Letters Proving Positively that
there is No Medicine for Woman's
Ills Equal to Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound.
(ALL LETTERS ARE PUBLISHED BT SPECIAL PERMISSION.)
"I cannot say enough in regard to Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.
It has done me more pood than all the doctors. I have been troubled with
female weakness in its worst form for about ten years. I had leucorrhoea
and was so weak that I could not do my housework.
I also had falling of the womb and inflammation of the womb and ovaries,
and at menstrual periods I suffered terribly. At times my back would ache
very hard. I could not lift anything or do any heavy work ; was not able to
Etand on my feet long at a time. My husband spent hundreds of dollars for
doctors but they did me no good. My husband's sister wrote what the Vege
table Compound had done for her, and wanted me to try it, but I did not then
think it would do me any good. After a time, I concluded to try it, and I can
truly say it does all that is claimed for it. Ten bottles of the Vegetable Com
and seven packages of Sanative Wash have made a new woman of me, I have
had no womb trouble since taking the fifth bottle. I weigh more than I have
in years; can do all my own housework, sleep well, have a good appetite, and
now feel that life is worth living. I owe all to Lydia E. Pinkham's Veg
etable Compound. I feel that it has saved my life and would not be with
out it for anything. I am always glad to recommend it to all my sex, for I
know if they will follow Mrs. Pinkham's directions, they will be cured."
Gratefully yours, MKS. ANNIE TIIOMPSON, South Hot Springs, Ark.
CHANGE OF LIFE. PROFUSE PERIODS.
•• I was taken sick T ,
five years ago with 5 "
the S doctor and my ( ' about 3 mouths r /°
friends. Change \ \L. &[ and cannot L| WI
of Life began to A \ h ? uS*' \ A -cP / I
work on me. I 4 derful good it has \
flowed very badly done me. Men- J \
until a year ago, so
then my stomach £,™ 112 ÜBC aS to } e f e /
and lungs got so me ve, Tf weak , for
bad, I suffered terribly; the blood ®° me , lm ® af Jf r * ... . ,
went up in my lung's and stomach, and , as a^so troubled with leucorrhoea,
I vomited it up. I could not eat tired feeling, bearing down sensation,
scarcely anything. I cannot tell what pain across the back and thighs. I
I suffered with my head. My hus- felt as though there was a heavy
band got me a bottle of Lydia K. Pink- weight in my stomach all the time.
112 if ' aildl ? ef ? ra I have taken two bottles of the medi
-1 had taken half of it I becran to ira- . , x. A,
prove, and to-day lam another woman. f me ' antl now have better health than
Mrs. Pinkham's medicine has saved my have had for four years,
life., I cannot praise it enough." MKS. LIZZIE DICKSON IIODGE,
M. A. BENSON, Millport, N.Y. Avalon, Ohio.
I 9™ ftltA REWARD.-We liavo deposited with the National City T) Ink of Lynn, SSOOO, E
■VI%IId IB I w ' llc ' l w '" he paid to any pcrwin who ean find that the nbov„ testimonial letters I
I all. 1111111 aro "°t genuine, or were published before obtaining the writer's special t.f r- |
I VUMUU mission. EYDIA E. PINKHAM MEDICINE CO. I
tt» <w?ne oft to® lightly at a mastev's
hand.
Tw« SenU for One !tlan.
A fnt patron of the drama in NVw
York found all of the chairs uncom
fortably small. Accordingly ha
agreed with the manager of Ills
favorite theater to engage two seats
for the Saturday matinee regularly.
This proposition was accepted and
the money has been regularly paid
ever since. One large chair was pro
vided near the stage in place of two
seats of the regular size. As thu
lessee, as he might be called, is usu
ally to be found in his seat at every
matinee, the arrangement has prov
ed profitable.—Chicago Kecord.
Parallax or Nlrlus.
Kir David Gill, royal astronomer nt
the Cape of Good Hope, has recently
announced the result of a new and
very accurate determination of the
parallax of Sirius, the brightest star,
now visible in the southeast early
every evening. Its light, traveling at
the rate of 186,330 miles per second,
requires more than eight and one
half years to reach the earth. If the
light of the star were to be extin
guished now—this instant—it would
continue to shine on for eight and a
half years more. Then, and not till
then, would it disappear.—Science.
nifllrult)- Kaiiy to Overcome.
"But are you able to support a
wife?" asked the old gentleman.
"Well," replied the youth, "you
know it is said that two can live al
most as cheaply as one in such cir
cumstances."
"Ye-es; I've heard that stated," ad
mitted the old gentleman, doubtfully.
"So it occurred to me," went on the
youth, cheerfully, "that you would
not begrudge the slight extra cost
that will be entailed as a result of
this addition to your family."—Chi
cago Post.
In Bonton.
In Boston I encountered a parrot
one day.
"Polly wants a cracker!" I ob
served, thinking nothing.
"Your language is extremely an
omalous!" replied the bird, severely.
"Polly is colonial, while cracker, in
the sense of biscuit, is distinctly post
bellum. Moreover, I am not consci
ous of wanting a cracker. I wouldn't
mind a plate of pork-and, however!"
The fowl's scholarly dignity was
•what impressed me particularly.—De
troit Journal.