8 THE EXPERT'S THEORY. It Wai Too Inelmitve and Weokoncil 111 in OM a Wltne»». One of the older members of the Bal timore bar tells this anecdote of the late Severn Teackle Wallis as Illustrat ing the cleverness and sarcasm of Mr. Wallis: Mr. Wallis was defending the will of a wealthy testator, and, as the lawyers say, when the estate is large a lawyer "will wrestle with a will with a will." A prominent physician was called to testify for those contesting the will. The doctor became restless under the lengthy and exhaustive cross examina tion of Mr. Wallis, and finally he petu lantly exclaimed: "Oh, Mr. Wallis, I believe the testa tor was Insane!" Mr. Wallis kept his temper and said quietly: "Doctor, you are the first per son who has ever intimated in or out of court that the testator was insane. Why do you say he was insane?" "I believe," the doctor replied, "that every man Is more or less insane on some one subject." "Is It your deliberate professional opinion," Mr. Wallis then asked, "ex pressed here In court under oath, that every man is more or less Insane on some subject?" "Yes," the doctor replied; "I will say here under oath that from my reading, knowledge and experience I believe that every man is more or less Insane on some one subject." Then Mr. Wallis said in that fine tone of sarcasm for which he was not ed, "Doctor, has it ever occurred to you that you are insane on the subject of Insanity?" Immediately the doctor fired up and exclaimed, "But, Mr. Wallis, I am not insane!" Mr. Wallis arose and said: "Doctor, according to your own sworn theory, you must be Insane on some subject. I pronounce you insane on the subject of insanity." Court, jury and spectators laughed aloud, and nothing more was said about the testator being insane.—Baltimore Sun. A CUHC Lincoln Would Not Take. All clients knew that, with "Old Abe" as their lawyer, they would win their case—if it was fair; if not, that it was a waste of time to take it to him. After listening some time one day to a would be client's statement, with his eyes on the ceiling, he swung suddenly round in his chair and exclaimed: "Well, you have a pretty good case in technical law, but a pretty bad one in equity and justice. You'll have to get some other fellow to win this case for you. I couldn't do it. All the time, while standing talking to that jury, I'd be thinking, 'Lincoln, you're a liar,' and I believe I should forget myself and say it out loud."—Success. Too Commonplace. Little Jack—Oh, mother, I do love cake! It's awful nice. Mother (reprovingly)— You should not say you "love" cake —say "like." Do not say "awful"—say "very." Do not say "nice"—say "good." And, by the way, the word "oh" should be omitted. Now, my dear, repeat the sentence cor rectly. Jack—l like cake. It's very good. Mother—That's better. Jack (with an air of disgust) lt sounds as if I was only talking 'bout bread.—London Tit-Bits. A ChniiKf. "Do you think people in tha next .world will follow the same occupa tions they do here?" asked the gossip ing lady. "No," said the churchman; "every body will attend to his own business there."—Syracuse Standard. To have a perfect stomach a man or a woman must dint well and breakfast and sup simply.—Ladies' Home Jour nal. Instead of buying an article you do not need of an agent, pay what you owe.—Atchison Globe. I After He Comes 1 £ * he has a hard enough time. Every- 3 thing that the expectant mother ft g can do to help her child she should ft J? do. One of the greatest blessings 2 £ she can give him is health, but to ft do this, she must have health her- (9 J* self. She should use every means to improve her physical condition. ft She should, by all means, supply herself with * I Mother's Friend. \ \ aSpM It will take her % through the crisis ft \ %vh ' cll >a*V ( and vigor to the S®' \\\\ J muscles. Com- ft sense will jj muscles are, jj s 3 V which bear the ft r J strain, the less tj K 112 ' pain there will be. jJ A woman living in Fort Wayne, * Ind., says: " Mother's Friend did 9 Jj wonders for me. Praise God for ft your liniment." ft 4* Read this from Hunel, Cal. v® " Mother's Friend is a blessing to J* all women who undergo nature's 2 ordeal of childbirth.'' 4* 09 4t ' Get Mother's Friend at the ft Ji drug store. $1 per bottle. J THE BRADFIELD REGULATOR CO., » < Atlanta, Ga. * £ Write for our free illustrated book, " Before <2 4* Baby is Born." Z EXCURSION NOTICES. Low Rates West. Commencing February 12, and every Tuesday thereafter until April 30, 1901, the Chicago, Milwaukee & St. Paul Rail way Co. will sell tickets to pointn in North Dakota, Minnesota, Idaho, Col orado, Utah, Oregon, Washington and British Columbia, at greatly reduced rates. For the benefit of settlers. For full information call on or address W. S. Howell, G. E. P. A., 381 Broadway, New York, or John R. Pott, D. P. A., 810 Park Building, Pittsburg,Pa. 49-12t Twenty Millions in Gold. Five millions of this came from the Nome district. Government officials estimate the output from the Nome district will be doubled the coming season. The Bluestone Kougarok and Pilgram Rivers have been found very rich There is hardly a creek from Port Clarence to Norton Sound in which the precious metal is not found, and hundreds of creeks unprospected. A rich strike has been made on the Yellow River, a tributary of the Kue kokwim. For full information regarding routes, steamship accommodations anil rates to all points in Alaska, address C. N. Souther, General Agent Passen ger Department, C. M. & St. P. R'y, 95 Adams, Street Chicago. 51-3t* The Election Returns Show That the Lackawanna Railroad has been elected Americas most comfort able Railroad. If the result of election suited you, take a trip on the Lacka wanna with your family; if it went the other way, get even by taking a little journey, and forget your troubles. Remember Lackawanna Agents can sell you tickets to any point i n Greater America. Excursion rates are now in effect to all Southern resorts, Cuba, Florida and the Pacific Coast. If you want to know all about your proposed trip, call on nearest I). L. & W. R. R. Agent, or write Fred P. Fox, Div. Pass. Agent, Buffalo, N. Y. 37-tf LOW rates to west and northwest. On February 12th and on each Tues day until April 30th, the Chicago. Mil waukee & St. Paul Railway will sell one-wav second-class tickets at the fol lowing very low rates: To Montana points, - §25.00 To Northern Pacific Coast points, .... 30.00 To California, ... so.OO These tickets will be good on all trains and purchasers will have choice of six routes and eight trains via St. Paul and two routes and three trains vis Missouri River each Tuesday. The route of the famous Pioneer Limited trains and the L T . S. Government Fast Mail trains. All Ticket Agents sell tickets via the Chicago, Milwaukee <£ St. Paul Kail way, or for further information address John R.Pott, District Passenger Agent, 810 Park Building, Pittsburg, Pa. 51-3 Homeseekers' Excursions. On the first and third Tuesdays of February, March, April, May and June the Chicago, Milwaukee & St. Paul Railway Co. will sell Homeseekers' Ex cursion tickets from Chicago to points in lowa, Nebraska, Kansas, Wyoming, Colorado, Idaho, Minnesota, South Da kota, North Dakota, Montana, Utah, Oregon, Washington and British Col umbia, at rate of one fare, plus two dollars, for the round trip, good for twenty-one days. For full particulars call on or address W. S. Howell, G. E. P. A., 381 Broadway, New York, or John R. Pott, D. P. A., 810 Park Build ing, Pittsburg, Pa. 49-21t ARE YOU GOING WEST? To any point in lowa, Wisconsin, South Dakota, Northern Michigan, North Dakota, Minnesota, Nebraska, Kansas, Colorado, Utah, Nevada, Wy oming, Montana, Idaho, Oregon, Was hington or California? The Chicago, Milwaukee and St Paul railway com pany sell settlers' tickets commencing February 12, and every Tuesday until April 30, 1901, at greatly reduced rates. On the first and third Tuesday of Feb ruary, March, April, May and June, 1901, we sell homeseekers' excursion tickets good for twenty-one days at one fare, plus two dollars, for the round trip. ' For full information call on or address W. S. Howell, general eastern passenger agent, 381 Broadway, New York; or John R. Pott, district passen ger agent, 810 Park Building, Pitts burg, Pa. , 51-3t REDUCED RATES TO WASHINGTON. Via Pennsylvania Railroad, Account Inaug uration of President McKinley. On account of the inauguration of President McKinley on March 4th, the Pennsylvania Railroad Company will sell excursion tickets from all points on its lines to Washington at rate of one fare for the round trip (minimum rate 50 cents.) Tickets will be sold on March 1, 2, and 3, good to return until March 8, inclusive. Tickets will also be sold from Harrisburg and interme diate stations, and from Philadelphia and intermediate stations on March 4. ; These tickets will be good to stop off' at Baltimoreand Philadelphia within limit ! of March 8. 61DK TRIPS. Special side-trip tickets, limited to March 8, will be sold from Washington in connection with above mentioned tickets as follows: Old Point Comfort and return, via all rail line, §6.00; Richmond and return, §4.00. Via Norfolk and Washington Steam boat Company: Old Point Comfort or Norfolk and return, §3.50; Virginia Beach and return, including transfer through Norfolk, §4 50. From Baltimore, via Bay Line or Chesapeake Steamship Company: Nor folk or Old Point Comfort and return, ?3.50; Virginia Beach and return, in cluding transfer through Norfolk, §4 50. 1871-52-2t Ifcr Opinion of CoinplinicniH. "No," said Miss Cayenne, "1 don't fare for people who ocotinually pay compliments." "But it shows an amiable disposi tion." "Perhaps, but the habit reminds me that some people are willing to pay only what costs them nothing and what they don't really owe."—Washington CAMERON COUNTY PRESS, THURSDAY. FEBRUARY 21, 1901. BOROUGH ANO TOWNSHIP ELEMTIONS, FEB. 19, 1901. A light vote was poled throughout the county and little interest manifest ed. The contest in Emporium was confined to the question of lights for the streets. The proposition to bond the Borough in the sum of $7,000 to erect an electric light plant was en dorsed by the voters by a large ma jority, the vote in favor being 281, against 02—a majority in favor of in creasing the indebtedness of 219. The only borough officer to be elected was Auditor for three years. A. F. An drews .carried off the plum by 21 ma jority. EMPORIUM. EAST WARD. REPUBLICAN. DEMOCRAT. Councilman. Geo. Metzger, Sr., 38 J. D. Marshall, 88 School Director. F. D. Leet, 28 N. J. Bamer, 97 Justice of the Peace. S. 8. Hacket, 87 I. M. Reynolds. 1 Auditor. Edward White, 30 A. F. Andrews, 80 Overseer of Poor. J. W. Kriner, 58 W. A. Strong, 7 R. J. Lloyd, 1 High Constable. F. W. Yentzer, 118 Constable. P. E. Lewis, 83 Assessor. Henry Wheaton, 54 W. W. Dickinson, 89 Judge of Election. P. P. Strayer, 53 Robt. Green, 67 Inspector of Electon. John Fenton, 64 Philip Schweikart, 51 Increase of debt, 99 Against, 26 MIDDLE WARD. Councilman. Augustus Nelson, 65 Wm. McGee, 51 School Director. , W. H. Howard, 59 B. Egan, 61 Justice of the Peace. S. 8. Hacket, 59 Auditor. Edward White, 59 A. F. Andrews, 55 Overseer of Poor. J. W. Kriner, 70 High Constable. P. W. Yentzer, 106 Assessor. Harry Hemphill, 67 John Glenn, 51 Judge of Election. Don M. Larrabee, 65 W. Snyder, 53 Inspector of Election. Fred Yonkers, 65 H. R. Kleese, 52 Increase of debt, 92 Against, 18 WEST WARD. Councilman. G. F. Balcom, 104 Justice of the Peace. S. S. Hacket, 40 Auditor. Edward White, 65 A. P. Andrews, 40 Overseer of the Poor. J. W. Kriner, 75 High Constable. F. W. Yentzer, 104 Assessor. A. Chapman, 66 Gordon Baker, 43 Judge of Election, Jos. Frendel, 74 A. H. Sliafer, 32 Inspector of Election. S. D. Kline, 69 C. C. Ritchie, 37 Increase of debt, 90 Against, 18 SHIPPEN. Supervisor. A Cheesbro, 78 A. J. Ingersoll, 69 Frank Sweescy, 114 Geo. Minard, 135 School Directors. Cameron Housler, 98 Frank Moon, 114 N. A. Ostruni, 102 Oil. Leavitt, 95 Robert Warner, 123 Auditor. W.R.Johnston, 79 Tlios. Waddington, 111 Overseer of the Poor. James Hobson, 116 Roy Ostruni, 82 Assessor. John Adams, 160 Daniel Card. 37 Town Clerk. W. W. Lewis, 118 Ray Lyons, 55 Judge of Election. L. Wheaton, 96 N. P. Minard, 92 Inspector of Election, D. Towner, 139 J. Skillman, 71 PORTAGE. Supervisor. E. D. Sizer, 19 J. H. Evans, 24 School Directors. Otis Lucore, 13 J. H. Evans, 23 John Wygant, 16 Robt. McDowell 9 H. A.Smith, 13 Auditors. W. A. McDowell, 2 yrs. 23 F. H. Maher, 3 yrs, 25 Wane Peterson, 23 Overseer of the Poor. W. R. Sizer, 22 IraAyers, 9 H. W. Martindale, 14 Robt. McDowell, 7 Assessor. W. L. Ensign, 1 Robt. McDowell, 19 Ira Ayers, 4 Town Clerk. Marcus Lucore, 16 W. R. Sizer, 8 Judge of Election. J. H. Evans, 20 Inspector of Election. Adam Markett, 17 Robt. McDowell 8 Justice of the Peace. W. R. Sizer. 15 Robt. McDowell, 12 LUMBER. Supervisors. Samuel Ebersole, 34 P. J. O'Rourke, 46 Ed. Stewart, 37 Frank Sterling, 36 School Directors. A. F. Walker, 18 B. E. Smith, 42 Wm. Berry, 51 Henry Darrin, 17 Auditor. T. M. Lewis, 46 B. E. Smith, 39 Overseer of the Poor. C. C. Craven, 47 Alpheus Wylie, 43 Town Clerk. Warren McConnell, 40 E. P. Brooks, 16 A ssessor. G.W.Gentry, 42 EmmettLord, 38 Judge of Election. Isaac Wykoff, 45 W. M. Summerson, 39 Inspector of Election. Nye Chapman, 48 Ed. Tracey, 36 Justice of the Peace. « Alex. Schwab, 35 Ed. E. Whiting, 49 GIBSON. Supervisors. O. B. Tanner, 23 Thos. Dougherty, 46 J. O. Jordan, 36 P. H. Mason, 45 School Directors. B.J.Collins, 45 Henry Mix, 27 J. A. McMullin, 28 Henry Smith, 43 M. 8. Bnrr, 21 Constable. •Geo. E. English, 46 Auditor. 8. W. Nyce, 31 Geo. E. Wylie, 50 Overseer of the Poor. Wm. Kailbourn, 52 Hiraiv. Moat, 23 Town Clerk. J. L. Farley. 40 Clarence Miller, 40 Judge of Election. J. M. English, 47 J. D. Mason, 40 luspector of Election. S. W. Nyce, 48 E. D. McQuay, 27 Justice of the Peace. David Marsh, 53 J. M. English, 42 DRIFTWOOD. Burgess. Geo. Towers, 24 Jos. Johnston, 48 Councilmen. L. W. Gleason, 3 yrs, 76 Frank Fox, Sr., 51 P. J. Robinson, 2 yrs, 59 J. A. Mutthersbaugh, 3 yrs, 35 W. H. Dwyer, 27 School Director. E. L. Kimpell, 83 M.McMahan, 82 Justice of the Peace. Walter Youthers, 88 Tax Collector. Walter Youthers, 83 Auditor. J. O. Brookbank, 65 Overseer of the Poor. P. M. Hanes, 50 Frank Fox, Jr., 78 Pat Charles, 24 High Constable. H. B. Mutthersbangh, 54 Geo. Moore, 32 Assessor. 8. D. McCool, 50 P. M. Hanes, 24 Judge of Election. W. C. Callahan, 45 H. E. Coleman, 40 Inspector of Election. John Buck, 62 F. M. Beckwith, 20 GROVE. Supervisors. Brooks Lorshbaugh, 40 Adam Logue, 35 Henry Caldwell, 37 Jacob Shaffer, 51 School Director. R. M. Williams, 49 Wm. Miller, 34 D. B. Johnson, 35 L. G. Wykoff, 26 Auditor. J. H. Drum, 47 J. H. Baird, 33 Overseer of the Poor. John A. Wykoff, 55 Town Clerk. Jos. Counsel, 28 T. W. Snyder, 51 Assessor. E. F. Smith, 51 Frank L. Miller, 26 Judge ol Election. M. Blodgett, 52 George W. Gore, 29 Inspector of Election. Frank Burke, 48 John Berticld, 32 Justice of the Peace. John A. Wykoff, 59 Justices of the Peace elected on Tues day and who intend to qualify are requested to notify the Prothonotary within ten clays from this date. Another Fire. Last Thursday morning Geo. Baxter's home, located near Buckwalter, was totally destroyed by fire, including most of the household goods, clothing, etc. The loss is quite severe on Mr. Baxter, who was unfortunately with out insurance. The fire is supposed to have been caused from sparks from the stove pipe. A Word About Text Books. While the question of the vicious in fluence of the book trust upon the mor als of school directors is uppermost in the State press, says the Philadelphia Inquirer, we would like to make one suggestion. There are times when a change in the text books of all schools is neces sary and proper. Those in use become hurtful and therefore should be retired. New discoveries are made, a record of which is not found therein. Now gov ernments are formed and old ones are dismembered; the provinces thereof pass under the rule of other nations. Language grows, and we all must keep pace with the growth. The history of China, to illustrate, will probably be different ten years hence. For any school board to permit in the schools under its management, books teaching what is not truth, would be an unpard onable blunder. But to admit this is not to declare that a change of text books is necessary almost every year as is becoming the custom. A bad book cannot be too quickly discarded. If it were negative in character and influence it might be tolerated, but being positive in its in fluence on the young it should be tossed into the fire the instant its inaccuracy is discovered. Too large a portion of all lives is spent in unlearning what never should have been learned, what never would have been learned had those older that the learners attended conscientiously to their duties. Of course, all this means that only the most intelligent and conscientious men should be made soliool directors, but as The Inquirer has argued for that many years it does not shrink from that conclusion now. Meanwhile, this remains indisputable: There should be no changes of reliable text books until a change is demanded, not by the men who sell books, but by such varia tions of actual conditions as warrant the change in the interest of truth. ME. % Through many, many summers I look, as through a glass, And see a world of showers and flowen And laughing children pass, And in her big blue sunbonnet One other little lass— A lass who watched the swallows Skim just beyond her hand And where the flickers fled and sped And nests of hang birds fanned And felt those birds were fairy folk On wing to fairyland. In her warm fist she carried, Trudging o'er hills and dales, In tiny papers laid and weighed As if in fairy peaks The salt that eatches bobolinks When sprinkled on their tails. A little lass and wistful, Who gazed up the far sky, And reached for fairy things and wings In vain and wondered why; Pour little lass, I wonder still, Could she be really I? —llarriet I'rescott Spofford in Collier's. It is folly to attempt to please every body. It matters not in which direc tion a man faces he must of necessity turn his back ou half the world.—Chi cago News. The strength of wood increases with its density. (Honor to Whom Honor is Due. The railroads have been greatly abus ed as soulless corporations that were grinding the life blood outof the people. The great Galveston disaster has, how ever. rovealed the fact that the manag ers of these corporations have hearts which are susceptible of being touched by the cries of distress. Their trains were placed at the disposal of all those engaged in relief work on the coast. Provisions and supplies were carried forward free of charge, committees from every section of the State were furnished transportation, and when the refugees from Galveston began to pour into Houston and it became a serious question what was to be done with them the railroads solved the problem by furnishing transportation without charge to ail who wished to leave and to any point they wished to go. Grand Master Anderson informs us that but for this fact Houston would have been overrun with people who had to be cared for, and that suffering and dis tress would have been largely increased as well as the cost of meeting conditions which would have prevailed. Bro. Anderson desires us, through these coiumns, to thank the different roads for the great service rendered his com mittee at Houston. If it were possible we would be glad to see parallel col umns, in one of which should appear the acts of these railroad corporations in a time of great calamity and distress, and in the other the amount contribut ed by the little two-by-four demagogues who are always trying to array the prejudices of the masses against any and every kind of enterprise.—From the Texas Odd Fellow. Ready for New Trains. The importance of the Philadelphia & Erie, in connection with the Western New York & Pennsylvania, is pro-1 nouncedly great. This line, for Buffalo traffic, is considered first-class, and with the improvements in contemplation completed it will have been consider ably strengthened as a tidewater line from the great lakes. The Philadelphia Record says that while the company's officials are extremely reticent about the matter, there appears scarcely any doubt that the improvements contem plated on the Philadelphia and Erie for the coming year are but a portion of the general scheme to make the Buffalo line an important factor between the lakes and the seaboard. Ever since the acquisition of the Western New York & Pennsylvania engineers have been at work making surveys and gathering data for the elimination of curves and the reduction of grades, and for the bringing of that line up to the Penn sylvania standard. From the best in formation obtainable these data have not been sufficiently compiled to lay before the higher officials, and until this is done it is largely a matter of speculation as to the extent and char acter of the contemplated improve ments on the Buffalo line. With the completion of the proposed double tracking of the Philadelphia & Erie between Keating and McElhattan the entire division from Sunbury to Renovo will be double tracked and about thirty-five miles of the Middle division. A portion of the distance to be double tracked was graded some years ago; so that 011 some parts there will be only trimming up to be done* Beside the double-tracking of the line between Keating and McElhattan, a short line connecting the Susquehanna and Clearfield branch with the Phila delphia & Erie at Keating, will also be constructed. The building of this line will necessitate the erection of a new bridge across the Sinnamahoning creek. Of the $500,000 set aside for improve ments on the Philadelphia & Erie this year a portion of the money will be used in the reconstruction of bridges of which there are quite a number over the West Branch. A NEW IDEA IN CLUBS.— "The Cur rent Topics Clubs" is a new feature which has just been introduced by the great "Philadelphia Press." A large body of experts and specialists in every walk of life has been engaged to furnish to the readers of"The Press," through a current topics department, daily arti cles of an interesting and informatory character. These will cover every field of activity, will be attractive alike to the old and young and in their entirety will form the foundation for a liberal | education. There will be one article a I day each week, so that every week six important subjects will be treated. "The Press" considers the organiza tion of the "Current Topics Club" as among the most important of its achievements. It is certain to attract great attention. The only requirement for membership is that you shall be a reader of the Philadelphia Daily Press. cw Cures Drunkenness. |\eeley cu^ KEELEY ; Writofor mlf ,NSTITUTE » WMSi- Ml !IA ■. v SDR. CALDWELL'S HI N YRUP FEFSIN CURES IMDiOESTIOM. i»