2
CAMERON COUNTY PRESS.
H. H. MULLIN, Editor.
Published Every Thursday.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.
Per year
If paid In advance 1
ADVERTISING RATES:
Advertisements are published at the rate of
•Be dol.ar per square forune insertion and fifty
•eots per square for each subsequent insertion.
Rates by ihe year, or for six or three months,
mre low and uniform, and will be furnished on
application.
Legal and Official Advertising per square,
three times or iess, *2: each subsequent liber
ie n 10 cents per square.
Local notices lu cents per line for one inser
#eriion: 6 cents per line for each subsequent
consecutive Insertion.
Obituary notices over five lines. 10 cents per
line. Simple announcements of births, mar
naees and deaths will be inserted free.
Business cards, five lines or less. *5 per year;
over five lines, at the regular rates of adver
tising.
No local inserted for less than 75 cents per
iaaue.
JOB PRINTING.
The Job department of the PRESS is complete
*n<3 affords facilities for doing thf* best class of
WORK. PARTICULAR ATTIN L ION PAID TO LAW
PRINTING.
No paper will be discontinued until arrear
ages arc paid, except at the option of the pub
lisher.
Papers sent out of the county must be paid
lor in advance.
We we perents—possibly we are par
ents —who bring tip children "along the
lines of least re
1* roiirr
•s ist a n c e," says
Kelucntlon.. i» •_ r
Dean Ilriggs, of
Harvard university, in the Atlantic,
ane! we know what the children are.
Is it illogical to infer that children
taught at -schoe>l '"along' the lines of
least resistance" are intellectually
spoiled children, flabby of niinel and
■will? For any responsible work we
•want men of character —not men who
from childhooel up have been personal
ly conducted and have had their edu
cation warped to the indolence of their
minds. It is necessary- to treat people
«s individuals; but it does them a world
<>{ good sometimes te> treat a great
many of them together, and to let them
fret used to it as best they may. The
first lesson of life, as Lowell reminds
•us, is to burn our own smoke; that is.
not to inflict on outsiders our personal
sorrows and petty morbidness. ne)t to
keep thinking of ourselves as "excep
tional case s." The sejns of our we althi
cst citizens may be educated in either
of two ways: They may be sent te>
school, eir they may be turned over
to governesses and private tutors.
Anyone who has observed them in col
-1 oo knows hsu\ much better educated
those are who have gone to school—
how the very wealth which enab.es a
parent to treat his son as in all ways
exceptional and t<> give him the most
costly ami carefully adjusted education
•which he can devise, defeats its own
cud.
A new piece of household furniture
is the family weighing-machine. Some
are made in the form of graceful chairs,
upholstered in blue or white leather
to match the bath-room decorations,
anel some are artistic studies in walnut
and tapestry for the ornamentation of
the hallway, the machinery being con
cealed as far as possible or made highly
ornamental. The reason for the intro
duction ejf the machine is Ihe new the
ory that it is tiesh that tells whether
one is well or ill meire truthfully even
than color or appetite or ill feelings.
Mothers are instructed to put their
children on the scales every morning,
keep a close record e)f the fluctuations,
anei once in three weeks turn t he tables
of weights over to the family doctor,
who will draw inferences therefrom.
A bread factory being erected in Mil
waukee is to have some novel, but very
desirable sanitary features. All the
ingredients are te> be tested in a labora
tory before being used. The bakers
will work in full view e>f the public, at
long tables stationed in front of wide
plate-glass windows. Each man will
be required to wear a special suit of
clothes provided by the management,
and to take at le-a-st one bath a day in
the bathroom that i-s connected with
the lockers on tbe upper floor. More
over, lie may not smoke, chew or.drink,
and be a worker in the bread factory.
The plaint that t urns out millions of
postal cards every month for I nele
Sain is Locuted in a little West Virginia
mountain town, high up in the Ap
palachian range, not far from ihe bor
der line of Maryland. The town is
Piedmont, Mineral county, ami the
busy factory is at work six days in the
week. Here the cardboard is made from
the fresh, sweet spruce trees; here it
is cut into the requisite sizes, and here
the card*; are printed, packed and
shipped.
On the brow of a lofty peak of the-
Sierra Nevada mountains is a signal
station in which, day after day. a
woman sits with field-glass in hand.
She is watching for fires that might
break out in the snovvsheds that skirt
the railroad through the rocky wilds.
By day Airs. I'aul 11.-icke is on guard,
and at night her husband watches.
Should a small flame pass unnoticed
for an hour the whole chain of sheds
might b- consumed and the tracks en
dangered.
The novel question whether counsel,
in an argument tei the .jury, has a right
to shed tears, has bei n decided'by the
supreme court of Tennessee in the case
of Ferguson vs. Moon, the court holding
that if the' tears are available it is not
only proper but the duty of counsel to
shed them on the appropriate occasion.
The weeping was elone in a breach of
promise case by the counsel for the
DEPEW IN CHICAGO.
New York Senator Stirs Thousands
for McKinley.
CrgPt Lojnlly t» HrpnliHrnn I'rlnrl
plr* nntl I'rrdtctv Continued
l'r«*|icrlt> Tliruutcti Vic
tory of tlie Party.
Seasoning cold facts and figures
with witticism, giving flavor to logic
joke or story and applying to argj
nient the fire of patriotic zeal, Sena
tor Chauncey M. Depew, of New York,
stood on Monday night. October 8, be
fore a crowd of 20,000 Chicago people,
telling of the blessings that have re
sulted from republican rule and ap
pealing for the reelection of President
McKinley. The great meeting was
held under the auspices of the Mar
quette club, of which organization Mr.
Depew was the guest while in the city.
In the course of his speech Senator
Depew said:
"The terror of Imperialism is a ghest. I
mean American imperialism. It has been
tried for a hundred years. It was practiced
by Washington; it was tested upon an
enormous scale by Jefferson; it was j>ut In
operation by Monroe, Jackson, Polk and
I'ierce. All gave it their sanction; all of
them, to the great glory and power of our
country, pursued the same path of imper
ialism which is now being trod by Presi
dent McKinley. American militarism,
which Mr. Bryan so much fears and from
which he prophesies such dreadful results,
was also tried by Jefferson in Louisiana, by
Jackson in Florida, by every administra
tion in newly acquired territories from time
to time, with no other results than their
pacification, the restoration of peace, the
opening of courts and the protection of
life, liberty and property for the citizen.
"Mr. Bryan does not deny the wonderful
prosperity of our country and of our peo
ple; he does not promise any better returns
to the farmer or the manufacturer or the
merchant; does not promise any greater
employmen or higher wages to tie labor
er; he docs not promise the exploitation of
new enterprises and the conditions which
make money active and capital tseful by
new additions to the productive power of
the country and therefore a large employ
ment and a greater distribution of money.
Ilryan I'romiaea No Improvement.
"The country is to be no better than it Is
to-day was yesterday by his election even
upov his own showing, upon his own proph
ecy and upon his own promise. His posi
tion. measured by plain standards of busi
ness, is simply this: 'The country is drunk
with prosperity; it is an inebriation which
Is unhealthy and can .ot last; if you elec\
me X will check the pace, curtail this un
healthy expansion; my methods and my
remedies will arrest the disease and eradi
cate it before it has destroyed the body
politic.' In other words, through the pro
cesses of a milder catastrophe, he will pre
vent the greater one which he thinks other
wise inevitable. He is the veritable succes
sor of the doctor in the well-known and
venerable story, who threw his patient into
tits because he was death on lits.
"But, dear Dr. Bryan, except a 11 tie sur
face irritation here and there from too good
living, there is nothing the matter with the
American patient. He is in magnificent
health, his vitality was never so vigorous,
his brain never so active, his purposes
m ver so clear and his future never so prom
ising before. It will be many years before
he leaves the healthy diet upon which he is
now feeding for your patent medicine*.
Meets Trust I«wue.
"The only party which has ever attempt
ed to meet the trust issue is the republican
party. It enacted the Sherman anti-trust
law, which is the only effective law upon
the books upon that subject. It passed the
constitutional amendment in the last house
of representatives, with every democratic
vote save seven against it.l look in vain
through the speeches of Mr. Bryan or any
of the democratic orators for a definition
of a trust, or how to control it.
"Outside of the agriculture, eight-tenths
of the business of the country is transacted
In the corporate form. The reason is that
In the tremendous competition of our
times great capital is required successfully
to conduct large enterprises. This capital
has to be the result of contributions of the
many. Some gentlemen spoke to nr> the
other day who were interested in a project
for the construction of « plant for the man
ufacture of structural iron. They informed
me that no plant now can compete with the
American, English. German, French or
Belgian manufacturers with a capital of
less than $5,000,000. Invention and discov
ery, the utilization of steam and electricity
have enormously increased production, and
have correspondingly increased the num
ber employed, but they have compelled the
adoption of the most expensive machinery.
I was told of one great mill where the in
vention of new and more productive ma
chinery compelled the destroying in a
single year of machinery which was com
paratively new, and which cost $1,000,000.
Any legislation or action preventing the
operation of these plants would throw
eight-tenths of the skilled labor out oft m
ployment, and produce the most disastrous
ol panics.
Cunitent of Governed.
"The consent of the governed is a ques
tion more acute in the 11 states which are
sure for Bryan, because the people of these
old commonwealths are governed without
their consent, than it is in our new terri
tories. North Carolina would be for Mc-
Kinley by a large majority if its people
were permitted to vote. Even Louisiana
•would be fighting ground if the polls were
free. The canvass In those states is al
ready made. Their electoral votes are se
cured. The elections will be perfunctoiv
because it is a count by partisan inspectors
and not the voice of the people.
""These constitutional amendments, un
<ier which the inspectors of election can
disfranchise a negro, can be used with
equal efficiency against the foreign-born
citizen if the Inspectors so choose. In broad
terms, the constitutional amendments ift
the southern states for disfranchising the
negro voter provide that the J*oard of in
spectors in each election district, appoint
ed, as they are, by democratic officials,
shall toe the judges of the qualifications of
H voter; that they must be satisfied that
he can read and write, and that he can
read intelligently the constitution of the
United States and the constitution of his
state. If, however, he or his ancestor had
the right to vote in 1807—that is, prior to
the adoption of the constitutional amer.el
me nts freeing the slaves and giving the ml
civil rights, and state laws granting suf
frage trj the negroes—then he can vote,
though he may not be able to either read
Or write.
Must l.'tie Army.
"Now, we have the Philippine islands,
first by conquest, then by treaty, supported
by Col. Bryan and the democratic senators,
and then by purchase. The title by con
quest is good, the title by treaty and pur
chase cejmes from the power which had
held these islands without any dispute of
its title for 000 years. President McKinley,
by virtue of his oath of office, is compelled
to use the army and navy to suppress insur
rection and protect the people of the
United States in their lives, their proper
ties and their liberties. In performing the
duty which devolved upon him. and which
he is commanded by I.ls office to perform,
the army liael defeated the- Aguinaldo in
surrection ar.el disbanded the AguinalßO
army. The people of all the many islands
of the Philippines had returned to their
peaceful pursuits and accepted the Ameri
can conditions. In the island of Luzon
a lone u scattered band of brigands here
CAMERON COUNTY PRESS, THURSDAY, OCTOBER 25, 1900.
and there were In arms against the author
ity of the United States.
What Republican Victory Menna.
"With the election of McKlnlry and
ltoosevelt all that we have won by the en
ergy, industry and Inventive skill of our
people is secure. The highways of com
merce to the eastern continents and is
lands. where two-thirds of the people of
the earth on the other side of it from us
can become our customers, w'.ll be kept
open. Our country may grow in popula
tion and expand limitlessly in productive
power, but our children and our children s
children will be safe in American oppor
tunities for a living and for rising under
American conditions to political distinc
tion and business success.
"In the place of a dreamer and a theorist,
an orator, elevated by the glowing pictures
of his own imagination above the practical
things of earth to the pursuit of stars, we
can secure for another term an American
citizen who has always been in full accord
in war and peace with the best instincts of
the American people, a president who. as
commander in chief, organized and prose
cuted, with marvelous skill and energy, a
war with one of the old nations of Europe,
a diplomatist who has won concessions
from the cabinets of Europe of greater
benefit to our country than any other
diplomatic triumph since the treaty of Jay,
a chief magistrate who has pacified Cuba,
given law and order to Hawaii, Justice and
resurrection to Porto Rico, and an Ameri
can government and the bill of rights of
the constitution of the United States to the
people of the Philippines.
"The election of McKlnley and Roosevelt
will be for the best interest of every man,
woman and child in the country."
DANGER IN BRYANISM
Former President Benjamin Harri
son Favors McKinley.
Snyn Republican Policies Have lleea
Vindicated Bryan'* Election
Would Prove I>l*u»trou»
to lluKlue««.
In a formal interview on Wednes
day October 10, Former President
Benjamin Harrison gave his reasons
for favoring the reelection of Presi
dent McKinley. He explained also
why he woulu make no speeches dur
ing the campaign and recited the fact
which had been misconstrued into an
appearance of mild hostility on his
part toward the present administra
j tion. Regarding the main issue, the
I success of the republican party this
| fall, he spoke to the point as follows:
Policy Vindicated.
"The economic policies of the republican
party have been vindicated by the remark
able and general prosperity that has de
veloped during Mr. McKinley's administra
tion—succeeding a period of great depres
sion. A change of administration this fall
would certainly renew conditions from
which we have so luippily escaped. The
full dinner bucket is not a sordid emblem.
I it has a spiritual significance for the spir
itually minded. It means more comfort for
the wife and family, more schooling and
less work for the children and a margin of
saving for sickness and old age."
"Is it true, general, that you have con
| sented to make some speeches in this cam
paign?"
"No; that statement has not been au
thorized by me," was his answer. "I hava
said to everyone who has spoken or writ
ten to me; on the subject that I could nut
do any more campaign work. I began lo
make republican speeches the year I be
gan to vote, and have kad a laborious, if
unimportant part in every campaign, state
and national since, until IS9S. In IM)6 I sub
| mitted myself to very hard usage, and then
| made up my mind, and so said to my
| friends, that I would do no more cam
| paigning. Following this conclusion, 1 de
clined lo take a speaking part in the cam
paign of IWB. My retirement dates from
that year, not from this. Few men have
made more speeches for their party than
; 1 have, and no ex-president, I am sure,
has made more. Since I left Washington
my retirement from all participation in
■ party management has been complete. All
j that I have left to others, and I think they
have very generally and kindly accepted
my sense of the proprieties of the case—at
i least between campaigns. In a word, I
| have vacated the choir loft and taken a seat
in the pews—with a deep sense of gratitude
I to my forbearing fellow countrymen."
"Hut, general, it is said that you are not
altogether in accord with your party?"
\ lew* on Piirtu HI can Hill.
"Well, I have Heard that my silence vas
Imputed by some to that cause. Now '.he
only public utterance I have made in crit
icism of the policies of the party was con
tained in the interview, consisting of one
rather short sentence, that I gave to the
newspapers while the Porto Rico bill was
pending. It was, In substance, that I re
garded the bill as a grave departure from
right principles. I still think so. Ido not
believe that the legislative power of con
gress in the territories Is absolute—and I do
believe that the revenue clause relating to
fiuties and imports, applies to Porto Rico.
These views I know are not held by many
able lawyers. It is a legal question—one
that the political departments of the gov
ernment cannot fully adjudge. The final
and controlling word upon this question is
with the supreme court of the United
States. Cases involving the question are,
I understand, pending, and a decision, in
which we all must acquiesce, cannot be
much deferred. 1 think, therefore, that
voters ought to vote with a view to the
right decision of those questions that are
directly and finally In the control of the
president and congress.
Opposition to Ilrynn.
"The general reasons I gave in my Car
negie hail speech in 1S!)6 why Mr. Bryan
should not be elected still hold good with
me. His election would, 1 think, throw
governmental and business affairs into con
fusion. We should not aid the election of
a president who would, admittedly, if Ut
could, destroy the gold standard and other
things that we value even more upon tfs
deceptive suggestion that he has licen
bound, and that the republican party will,
l after defeat, still have strength enough to
save the temple. It will be much better
fnot to allow the man with destructive ten
dencies so much as to lean against its pil
lars.
"Perhaps it will save you much troublu
if 1 give you, and underwrite as of thi«i
date, this extract from my Carnegie hall
j speech: 'When we have a president who
believes that it Is nei'Jier his right nor his
t duty to see that the mail trains are not
obstructed, and that interstate commerce
has its free way, irrespective of state lines,
and courts that fear to use their ancient
and familiar writs to restrain and punish
lawbreakers, free trade and free silver
will be appropriate accompaniments of
such an administration, and cannot add ap
preciably to the national distress or the
national dishonor.'
tcyMore and more Brvanism appeals
to be the paramount issue, not the
Philippines. People appear to be will
ing to trust that we shaa be able
to manage the l'l»'!ippine business in
some way that will not bring in ruin
ous conditions at home, but they are
less confident that P.ryanism can b«
so controlled, with Bryan himself in
the saddle. The fear of personal lose
or hardship is the consideration that
presses most forciWSy and constantly
on the minds of the voters who are to
decide the election. —liostuu Herald.
FOUR REBELLIONS.
Tfcey ere Now Existent in South
ern China.
Eirb Our A lino to Overth rmv llir
HrlKiiitti; Dymmty UiianiHht
■>l FIL with Stubborn ICcklkl
unce In .Tlamhurlu.
'.ondon, Oct. 15. —The Shanghai cor
respondent <.f the Morning Post, wir
inr Saturday, describes four distinct
agitations —in Kwiiiig Tung, Kwang
Si Sze Chuan and the Vang-Tse re
gi>n—all of which nie anti-dynastic
roher than anti-foreign. "If Sun Yat
S»n is successful in the south," says
th* correspondent, "and his rebellion
spends over the Vang-Tse region, he
wli probably be aided by Prince Tuan
aid the Mohammedan leaders in tha
nothucst."
I'hc Chinese imperial troops, nc
ctrding to a dispatch from lion?
lvng. have recaptured Wei thou, 011
Est river, where Sun Yat Sen, the
reornier, had raised his flag, and
li:ve scattered the rebels.
Shanghai, Oct. 15. — From Canton it
isreported that, the Kwang Si rebels
hive defeated the imperial troops on
tie borders of Kwang Tung.
London, Oct. 16. —Dr. Morrison, in
th - Times this morning, describes the
occupation of l'ckin and the demon
st"J»tion in the Forbidden City. In
eainection with the latter incident
hi emphasizes the self-denial of (Jen.
Clart'ee. " The American troops fought
tleir way, driving 1 the Chinese in
fnnt of them, to the gateway. There
wis then no agreement to hold Chaf
fp* back. He might have pressed on,
tfken the palace and hoisted the stars
aul stripes. It would have been a
the prize, and the temptation must
li ve been great."
St. Petersburg, Oct. IK.—Reports to
tie war ofhee of tin- occupation of
Mukden, Manchuria, show that the
llissia 11s met with strong opposition
ai Sehaeho, where the Chinese, with
.'i( battalions, 20 field guns, Krupps
aid Maxims, occupied tiie railway
enbankmenf and heights.
I'll- fignting continued from 9 in
tie morning until 4 in the afternoon.
Tie Chinese cavalry enveloped the
Uissian right flank and endeavored
tc take it in the rear. They were
repulsed, but returned repeatedly to
tie attack. Finally alter artillery
pjeparations. the whole Russian eol
-111111 was tin >,vn against llic ( him se,
wro by evening wire in full retreat.
Tiis result was only reached when
(■••n. Fleischer's colunin. which had
b«en resling from tl'.c fatigue of a
loig march, was called into 'iction.
\'<\t day the Chinese made a less
si lbborn stand 111 a strong position
or the mountain chain in front of
Li.lo Jan. The position was captured
at noon, but the Russians were tin
aiil< to pursue the Chinese, owing to
extreme ial iguo and the dillieult na
ture of the country.
The lliissians in t lie course, of.he
two days' operations lost 50 killed
and wounded. They captured several
guns.
Hong Kong, Oct. IS.—Advices from
Canton say it is reported there that
Sun Yat Sun. the reformer, captured
llui Chow last Monday. The Canton
ese assert that, if ilni Chow, which
resisted the insurgenls in the Tai-
Ping rebellion, falls thus, the rebels
will be able to take Canton within a
week.
Admiral 110. with the hulk of his
forces, left Sam Chun yesterday in
pursuit of the rebels, leaving 250
troops to protect Sam Chun ami send
ing'2oo to garrison the mandarin sta
tion at Nao Tan.
l'ckin. via Shanghai, Oct. IS.—
Prince thing' and Li Hung Cluing have
addressed a yiint meeting of the for
eign envoys, fixing Saturday next for
the t>rst meeting to discuss the con
ditions of peace.
Berlin. Oct. is.—A letter lias been
received from two dermal! merchants,
liei ren Hielleld and hlcmann, who
left Tien Tsin August 12 and reached
l'ckin simultaneously with the relief
column. Tiny claim to have found
proof that liaron Von Ketteler, tiie
murdered German minister, went to
the tsung li yamen at the expresses
desire of the whole diplomatic corps,
alter having been slrongly assured
that there was no danger. I'liey say
that his whole conduct before and on
the day of the murder was devoid of
provocation.
St. Petersburg. Oct. li).—The war
office has published further official
advices regarding the r.dvnnee to
Mukden. These show that the Rus
sians left earn]) at Liao .lan Septem
ber :«». The Chinese retired before
them in disorder, plundering and
burning the villages as they travers
ed them. The main body of the Chi
nese retired in 1 lie direction of Muk
den. although large numbers moved
eastward and westward.
At .lan Tai Gen. Siibsvileh, one of
die Russian commanders, learned
that the Chinese authorities had de
serted Mukden and that their tMght
had been followed by that of the
Chinese troops after pillaging the
town, lie immediately sent a flying
column under Col. ArtamonolT, which,
after slight resistance, occupied Muk
den on October 2.
The Chinese had fired Ihe mines
and destroyed the city gates. The
Russians found all the buildings be
longing to Kuropeatis and native eon
verts burning. The imperial palac
lad been looted and then partially
burned.
Three Killed at a t ro««lng.
Xcw Castle. l'a„ Oct. 15. —Oscar Kos
pi, one of the victims ot' the accident
which happened at ilie Pittsburg A
Lake Erie railroad crossing near Car
boti. this county, Saturday night, re
turned to consciousness yesterday
The dead are .lolin Korbie, a prosper
ous farmer; Kllen •Corbie, daughter
aged I<> years, and Annie Korbie
daughter, aged 7 years. Kospi h.'U
several ribs and his ' heck bone brok
en and is bruised all over the body
lie will live. Kospi claims that tin
party did not see the train or he.t:
the whistle.
Mike Found II Bad Walking.
In the eo»»cse of the terrible march of the
Irish fusileers from Dundee to Ladysmith
the men were much fatigued owing to the
rough journey. One man in particular
stumbled along as if walking in his sleep.
An officer passed. "Sir," said Michael,
"what country is this we're marching over?"
"The Natal tableland, my man,"was the re
ply. "Bedad, sir," said Michael, "I think
the table's turned upside down and we're
walking over the legs of it."—London Tit-
Bits.
Roes Coffee Ajjree With Vou I
If not, drink Grain-O —made from pure
grains. A lady writes: "The first time 1
made Grain-O I did not like it, but after us
inp it one week nothing would induce me to
go back to coffee." It nourishes and feeds the
system. Children can drink it freely with
great benefit. It is the strengthening sub
stance of pure grains. Get a package to-day
from your grocer, follow directions in mak
ing. and you will have a delicious and
healthful table beverage for old and young.
15c and 25c.
Not Pleualnir.
Sandy Pikesi—Did de funny old chap in de
wayside cottage tell yer a side-splittin'
story. Billy?
Billy Coalgate—Naw! He told me a wood
splittin' story, an' I moved on. —Chicago
Daily News.
Business Opportunities on the line of the
Chicago Great Western Ry in Illinois. lowa.
Minnesota and Missouri. First class open
ings in growing towns for ali kinds of busi
ness and for manufacturing. Our list in
cludes locations for Blacksmiths, Doctors,
Dressmakers, Furniture, Grain and Live
Stock Buver&, General Merchandise, Hard
ware, Harness, Tailors, Cold Storage,
Creameries and Canning Factories. Write
fully in regard to your requirements so that
we may advise you intelligently. Address
W. T. Reed, Industrial Agent. C. G. \V. Ky.,
601 Endicott Big., St. Paul, Minn.
According to the women, it costs as much
to get a girl up to look like a simple, wild
field flower as- to dress her gorgeously.—
Atchison Globe.
To Cure a Cold In One Day
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All
druggists refund money if itf ails tocure. 'Sc.
After a woman finally decides where to
place her bureau she begins to long for next
house cleaning time, when sihe can change
it.—Atchison Globe.
Drugs have their uses, but don't 6tore
them in your stomach. Beeman's Pepsin
Gum aids the natural forces to perform their
functions.
The girl who turns up her nose at sight
of a broom is always glad enough to sweep
down the aisle when she's married. —Phila-
delphia Kecord.
Carter's Ink has the endorsement of the
United States government and of all the
leading railroads. Want any more evidence?
When patronizing a Boston hotel don't
forget that "culinary symposium" on the
bill of fare means hash.—-Chicago Daily
News.
Piso's Cure for Consumption is an infalli
ble medicine for coughs and colds.—N. W.
Samuel, Ocean Grove, N. J., Feb. 17, 1900.
Minnie —"Carrie says that Fred thinks the
world of her. He actually loves her faults,
she says." Hattie —"And she has sm many
of them! What a wealth of love he must
bestow upon her."—Boston Transcript.
We refund 10c for every package of
Pitnam Fauki.kss Dyes that fails to give
satisfaction. Monroe Drug Co., Unionville,
Mo. Sold by all druggists.
A boarding house keeper who buys the
best butter never gets credit for anything
but butterine. —Atchison Globe.
How My Throat Hurts!—-Why don't you
tisc Hale's Honey of Horehound and Tar?
Pike's Toothache Drops Cure in one minute.
A suitable dower for a widow is a wi
dower.—Chicago Daily News.
The self-made man generally shows
wretched taste in his selection of pattern.—
Town Topics.
When a rich man suddenly becomes poor,
or a poor man suddenly becomes rich, lii.»
true character crops out. —Chicago Daily
News.
Occasionally, when a girl has rigged her
self up to lonk like a picture, she accom
plishes the desired effect, for she looks
iike a poster. —Atchison Globe.
If we could keep ourselves from feejing
flattered when people ask our advice, we
probably shouldn't feel offended when they
didn't take it.—Puck.
"What are you buying all those traps for?"
"Doctor's orders. He tells me I need a
little recreation and insists that 1 should
go duck hunting with him." "Huh! Seems
to me that's a sort of quack remedy."—
Philadelphia Press.
The great moral force is nature itself.
Violate one of its rules, and see how you
are whipped. If you persist in breaking the
law, you are finally condemned to death
and no petitions will save you.—Atchison
Globe.
McJigger—"lt should be cool enough on
top of some of these big office buildings."
Thingumbob—"Fact. Take the Tintopper,
for instance. Now, in one of its elevators
there's a thermometer, and —" McJigger—
"Really shows the difference between the
upper and lower temperatures, eh?" Thing
umbob—"Weil, you'd be surprised the way
that tiling goes up and down." —Philadel-
phia Press.
Edith—"Did you ever hear of such r
thing?" Bertha —"Such a thing as what?"
Edith—"As Mame Tatting and Mr. Stroll
ers courtship. They met at the shore, you
know, and he was awfully attractive to her
—or, 'rather, she was awfully attentive to
him—and the upshot was he proposed and
was accepted. He supposed she was an
heiress, don't you know, and she thought
he was a professor of something or other
in one of the colleges. It turned out that he
was floor walker in the same store where
Mame is saleslady." Bertha —"llow ro
man tic!" —Boston Transcript.
p There is no end of 9
SOld Virginia Cheroots 5
■ to waste, as there is no finished end to ■
m cut off and throw away. When you m
® buy three Old Virginia Cheroots for £
J five cents, you have more to smoke, 2
• and of better quality, than you have •
<9 when you pay fifteen cents for three •
# Five Cent cigars. @
M ..... ggi
A Three hundred million Old Virginia Cheroots smoked this
g year. Ask your own dealer. Price, 3 for 5 cents. 4
• •
• •
: Sudden and Severe :
• •
attack! it *
• •
j Neuralgia !
• \!//SS come to •
J many °* us * *
• but however J
• i bad the case •
! M§ st. |
: L\ 'S Jacobs •
:«H oil j
• vMt penetrates *
• wjj I promptly J
• \V. 1 I and deeply, %
• fl\ P / A soothes and •
• /'WW strengthens J
• rIW J I the nerves %
• 4 brings *
• a sure cure. *
• •
• •
CONNOISSEUR IN SEEDS.
He Planted Some Bulbs That Tarnt
Oat to He Bearing Balls
for a Bicycle.
"I have a good joke on myself," said the
business man whose hobby is agriculture,
says the Detroit Free Press. "My mind has
always had a particular preference for seeds
and roots, and I never miss an opportunity
to indulge this fancy. Some time ago, in,
looking through an old tool box, I came
across several peculiar looking seeds that at
once aroused my interest. They were a lit
tle different from anything that I had dis
covered during my floricultural and agricul J
tural experience, and I decided to plant
them and s>ee wnat the product would be..
Well, I did so, and for weeks I waited U»
see the strange fruit, flower or vegetable
plant make an appearance, carefully nur
turing the soil> and giving my pet bulbs the
closest attention.
"Discouraged at length at their failure to
part the soil and spring into life, I dug them,
up, and what do you suppose was the dis
covery that I made? Why, that my inter
esting and peculiar bulbs were nothing more
nor less than those Jittle bicycle balls that
are an important part of the steel steed's
mechanism. They had been laid away in the
toolbox, and their size and rusted appearance'
made them resemble seeds. My wife and
some of my intimate friends seem to think
there is no excuse for such a ludicrous thing;
to happen to a man that has made a study
of plants and bulbs, and they are never done
chaffing me and asking me when I expect
to gather my crop of bicycles."
FISHED FOR A COMPLIMENT.
And the Pretty Young Girl Caught
Something Tlint Gave Her
a I'll ill.
I overheard a bit of conversation on a.
Chevy Chase car the other evening that put
me in a good humor for all the rest of the
week, says a writer in the Washington Poist.
.She was a pretty girl and she belonged to
the number of those pretty girls who are
forever longing to be told of their beauty.
She was with a blue-eyed young man who
looked as if he had seen 25 summers and a
great many other things more educational.
She was talking of a girl called Maud.
"Don't you think Maud is awfully pret
ty?" she asked.
"She's a peach," answered the young
man.
The girl dangled a bait more obvious.
"I'd be perfectly happy," she said, "if I
were as pretty as she is.'
Bad fishing weather. The young man
merely settled his tie a trifle.
"Oil, well," he remarked, "there's no use
being unhappy about things that can't be
helped."
Prince Tuan'* Canaries.
Prince Tnan's opposition to Euro
pean ideas is of the bitterest, charac
ter, and his only trace of western civ
ilization consists of a few dozen
canaries which he has imported and
placed in liis well-kept gardens. ll.j
is a diplomat of the first rank, and
it was through his intriguing that, in
the war with the the Chi
nese fleet was brought so late into
action, resulting in its total defeat,
and thus confirming Tuan's asser
tions to the e'mpress dowager
that European inventions were
worthless.—Stockholm Dagblad.
The Baby Was Healthy.
Two Irishmen who had not seen each oth
er for a long time met at a fair. They had
a lot of things to tell each other. ure,
it's married I am," said O Brien. "iou.
don't tell me so!" said Blake. "Fait yes,"
said O'Brien, "an' I've got a fine, healthy
bhoy which the neighbors say is the very
picter of me." Blake looked for a moment
at O'Brien, who was not. to say the least,
remarkable for his good looks, and then
said: "Och, well, what's the harrum so.
long as the child's healthy?" Chicago.
Chronicle.
He Had a Check.
Mamma—May. your father doesn't ap
prove of Mr. Kraft's attentions to you. lie
considers him what he calls "a very smooth
fellow."
Mary—So he is, generally, but once or
twice when he called he hadn't time to get
shaved.—Philadelphia Press.