2
CAMERON CODNTY PRESS.
H. H. MULLIN, Editor.
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JOB PRINTING.
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Chemistry nntl Crime,
So frequent of late have been the mur
ders and attempted murders by poison
that one is tempted to ask if the spirit
of the Borgias is not haunting the end
of the nineteenth century. By aid of
the chemical experts many seemingly
unsolvable mysteries are cleared up.
These men can say whether the dark
spots on the floor or blade are fruit
stains or blood, and if blood what kind,
whether of man or bea&t. They know
that if the deceased met his death from
str3"chnine the liquids of the body, un
der certain treatment, turn pale blue;
that if morphine has been the means
of death the liquids will turn bright
red under other chemical conditions;
and that arsenic in the stomach can be
gathered in a black deposit by the use of
correct solvents. In fact, there seems
very little that this "criminal chem
istry" does not disclose as regards the
nature of the killing or the poisoning.
It finds the end of the tangle and then
hands it over to the detectives to un
wind. It is easy to see of what inesti
mable assistance all this is to la,w and
order and justice. Every method or in
vention that facilitates the discovery of
crime is a step toward the lessening of
crime.
Not So Over Here.
To crusty old bachelors or the woman
who is out of the running the marriage
question is assuming some rather amus
ing phases in foreign countries. The
diet of llesse has introduced a tax on
unmarried men, they being compelled
to pay 25 per cent, more taxes than
their married brethren, and it is said
that the effect of this resolution by the
government is being watched with
great interest bj- the maidens of
llesse, who are anticipating an epi
demic of proposals. While in India that
ever-recurring question of the remar
riage of widows has again popped up,
the eastern fathers suddenly realizing
that by giving their widows a second
chance the opportunities of getting rid
of their unmarried daughters is be
ing considerably narrowed. English
statistics show that one out of every
five widows seizes the opportunity to
a second time stand before the altar
of Hymen. It is said that in the
United States the female population
is very little larger than the male, for
the surplus women of New England are
balanced by the men of the mining
communities of the far west.
On the farm of Charles Schaffer,
near Wapakoneta, 0., is a fine artesian
well, the result of an unsuccessful at
tempt to bore for oil. Last week Mr.
Schaffer pulled the plug and flooded
several acres of his land to revive his
<lying par •re. In a few days he and his
neighbors were astonished to see his
temporary lake filled with myriads of
little fish from two to four inches long,
which proved to be black bass of the
finest kind. Their origin is a mystery,
as there is not a creek, river or pool of
•water within two miles, and no one can
explain their sudden appearance. The
well flows 20,000 barrels of pure, clear
water a da}', and Mr. Schaffer has de
cided to dam his pasture and turn it
into a permanent fish pond.
It is the heavy man who now has his
innings. The slim Apollos have had
their day. The fashion plates for fall
perusal show the president and his cab
inet as sturdy specimens with heavy
shoulders and not too much but just
enough abdominal development.. The
willowy "slim Jim" was for many years
the glass fashion, but he is no longer
en regie, observes the l)es Moines News.
Your man of substance is coming into
popularity. The right sort of a com
promise seems to be half way between
Shafter and Joe Wheeler. The heavy
weight need no longer be jealous of the
attenuated beau. The latter has gone
out of style.
Boston has a charity which, if emu
lated, would be of inestimable value to
the sick infants of any city. It is called
the Milk fund, and is an organization
whose contributions pay for the food
of children of impecunious parents dur
ing the hot weather. The charity sup
plies not only milk, but any kind of
nourishment that is needed in the indi
vidual case. It saves many lives that
otherwise would not be able to sustain
the dual ordeal of trying heat and im
proper food. The charity is nonsec
tarian and practical, and is indorsed by
a long list of the best physicians of
Boston.
THE GOLD STANDARD.
Goad F,\aiii|il<' Set by the Hanker* of
tlie touiilr} in Their
Convention.
The bankers represented at the con
vention of the American Bankers' as
sociation at Cleveland, <)., have fol
lowed their president in a plain-spoken
declaration for a gold standard of cur
rency values. The unanimous action of
this body of practical financiers is
worthy of attention. They know what
money is by handling it and not by
guessing at it, and are as good and hon
est and patriotic citizens as any in the
land, including those who rail at wealth
and never refuse it. The resolutions
unanimously adopted are- so clearly
drawn that they deserve restatement
here:
"The hankers of the United States most
earnestly recommend that the congress of
the United States at Its next session enact
a law to more firmly and unequivocally es
tablish the gold standard in [his country
by providing that the gold dollar, which
under the existing law is the unit of value,
shall be the standard and measure of all
values in the United States; that all paper
money, including circulating notes of na
tional banks, shall l>e redeemed in gold
coin, and that legal tender notes of the
United States when paid into the treasury
shall not be reissued except upon the de
posit of an equivalent amount of gold
coin."
The last recommendation has already
been made to congress by President
McKinley as liis suggestion for definite
and immediate action.
It is indisputable that there could be
no better currency in the world than a
currency so based on the gold standard
as is recommended by the bankers.
Every paper dollar then would be
backed with gold, and not only backed,
but riveted with gold. It would inaugu
rate a golden age of national currency
and national credit.
It has been said by some friends of the
gold standard that it already exists and
that no legislative action is needed to
confirm it. In opposition to that it is
urged that a silver administration, by
insisting upon paying government obli
gations in silver coin, could enforce
practically a silver standard, with the
destructive results which would be im
plied to business, as there is a large
amount of standard silver dollars, of
legal tender authority, which could be
used for that purpose. As it is settled
that the gold standard is to be the pol
icy of the republican party and of the
country, that policy should be but
tressed now, while the executive and
legislative departments are in accord,
beyond the possiblity of even tempo
rary disturbance.
The time is more favorable now than
ever before for unyielding and aggres
sive advocacy of the gold standard. A
faithful and thorough and even sympa
thetic attempt has been made to find if
there were enough international bimet
allism to hang a hope on. The attempt
was given up in despair, anil since that
abandonment the gold standard hafi
been more firmly based as a world fad
by the turning of several silver basis
countries to gold as the final regulator
of values. Then, again, the new dis
coveries and larger output ol' the pr«-
cious metal nullify all apprehensions of
scarcity or fear of a reduction of quan
tity below the limits of a practicable
standard.
With an out and out flat footed dec
laration for the gold standard, the re
publican party will be even stronger on
the financial question in the next cam
paign than in the last. Then there wa*
the "if" of international bimetallism.
That "if" has been removed. Moreover,
the rejection by this country of the free
coinage of silver has justified itself by
its works of prosperity, assured credit
and high and honorable standards of
public conduct.
The nankers of the country have set
a good example in declaring for the
gold standard. Every republican con
vention should follow that example.
There should be an unmistakable gold
standard plank, without any qualifica
tion, in the next national platform. On
that basis the republican party, which
will then be not only the sound money
party but the soundest money party,
can overtlirow by even a larger majority
than before the party of free silver and
a degraded standard of values. —Troy
Times.
OPT Country Mnst Win.
One thing is clear. The United States
cannot in honor and decency withdraw
its armies front the Philippines until
a substantia! and permanent victory
has been gained and the foundations
for a settled government by its
people are laid. Neither \V. .T. Bryan,
ex-(>ov. Altgeld, Acting Chairman
Stone, of the d. mocrntic national com
mittee, nor any other anti-imperialistic
democrat would say now that tiie Amer
ican (lag should be hauled down in the
Philippines and our troops ordered to
"scuttle out" from the country. It
would be a lasting disgrace 1o admit
defeat and sue Aguinaldo for peace.
The only possible course is to gain de
cisive victories in the , Philippines, to
conquer the country, to establish Ainer
ican authority throughout the islands
and then to consider the question of
granting the people their independence.
That is a way in which t he prpstige of
American power may be maintained
and at the same time vindicate the
American principle of justice to all and
nf humanity, winch is the duty of all. —
Chicago Chronicle (Dun.).
(t 'Tliere are those who deny that
prosperity exists, because t here are per
sons who seek employment yet do not
readily find it. But there ; ever was,
never will be, a time when every per
son could have such employment as
would suit him, at such remuticrntion as
he might desire. There is always em
ployment to lie had, but the kind of
work and the wage rate will always
leave something to be desired. — Port
land Oregonian.
iT- 7 John I! McLean testifies that the
democrat ic nomination for governor of
Ohio cost him sfioo, no promises and no
sleepless nights.—Detroit Free Press
(Dem.).
CAMERON COUNTY PRESS, THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, 1899.
THE DEMOCRATIC RECORD.
They Have ilivay* Taken Mile* with
tlie Enemlea of Thin
Country.
In the light of the record of the dem
ocratic party, there is nothing surpris
ing in the attitude of the democratic
leaders who are taking sides with the
enemies of this country against the na
tional administration. Those men mere
ly demonstrate again their party's fac
ulty for getting on the wrong side of an
issue. They are pursuing the same
course which the democracy pursued
in 1564 when the internal strife in
which the integrity of the union was at
stake had been going on for nearly
three years and a half. The union army
had suffered great, losses, lint its even
tual victory hail never been doubted
by loyal citizens. Yet, when the dem
ocratic national convention met in
August of the year mentioned, a plat
form was adopted in which the war was
denounced as a failure and the demand
was made that the cause for which
thousands of men had fallen under the
stars and stripes should lie surrendered
and the government should sue for dis
honorable peace. These were the words
of the infamous declaration made by
the men who at that time in eonventi-in
represented the national democratic
party:
"Resolved, That this convention does ex
plicitly declare, as the sense of the Amer
ican people, that after four years of failure
to restore the union by the experiment of
war, during which, under the pretense of a
military necessity of a war power hlqher
than the constitution, the constitution it
self has been disregarded in every part, and
public liberty and private rights alike
trodden down, and the material prosperity
of the country essentially impaired, justice,
humanity, liberty and the public welfare
demand that immediate efforts lie made for
a cessation of hostilities, with a view to an
ultimate convention of all the states, or
other peaceable means, to the end that, at
the earliest practicable moment, peace may
be restored on the basis of the federal
union of all the states."
In short, the democracy declared that
the union forces should retreat and lay
down their arms before the forces of
the states which had seceded and risen
in arms against the government.
This declaration was made, moreover,
at a time when at last the tide of war
fare was turning decidedly in favor of
the government troops and when all in
dications pointed to a speedy termina
tion of the strife, with victory for
those who fought for the preservation
of the union. President Lincoln had
just called for 500,000 additional volun
teers. The time was critical, yet hope
ful; but. the democracy denounced the
war as a failure and demanded that the
union forces should be withdrawn from
the field.
What followed is recorded in history.
The democratic candidates sustained
defeat, and several monfhs after the
traitorous declaration had been made
by the democratic- convention, the war
was completely successful and the na
tion entered upon an era of peace and
prosperity.
It may be mentioned in this connec
tion that of the 25 states which took
part in the election of IStit, the demo
cratic candidates carried only Ihree
Kentucky, Delaware and New Jersey.
One might think that the democrats
of to-day would remember the conse
quences of the unpatriotic action of
their party of 35 years ago, and profit
thereby; but it is well known that the
democracy never profits from experi
ence. In its blundering it is conspicu
ously consistent.
But who wiil doubt that, as demo
cratic history now repeats itself in the
attitude taken by William Jennings
Bryan, John P. Altgeld. Congressman
Lentz and other men who occupy a
prominent, position in the democratic
party, so national history will repeat
itself in the rebuke which the American
people will administer to the party
which takes sides with those who assail
the country's flag?— Albany Journal.
POLITICAL DRIFT.
fCIn the absence of grasshoppers or
a drought the Kansas populists will
have to fall back on Coin Harvey.—St.
Paul Dispatch.
CBryan will have to wear goggles
when he comes to Ohio if he docs not
want to lie blinded by the smoke of
prosperity.—Cleveland Leader.
117' No man in the audience who has a
real feeling of kindness for Col. William
.T. Bryan will interrupt him to ask what
he would do with the army now in the
Philippines.—Chicago Tribune.
ICMen who pray for the utter defeat
of the American army and the humilia
tion of Old Glory are traitors of the
worst kind, and we are willing to stay
by the assertion.—Manila Freedom.
is a mighty sight easier to stay
in town and howl about the wrongs of
the working man than to heed the call
of the farmers and go into the country
anil work.— Brooklyn Kagle (I)cm.).
inxßryan is looking after so many po
litical fences in different parts of the
country that he will have difficulty in
covering the ground fast enough to keep
up with ordinary wear and tear. —
Washington Star.
0 'lt is 10 be hoped the democrats w ill
ho 1 ' their next national convention
SOUK .vie re else than in Chicago, and so
fasten some new name upon t hi ir plat
form. Chicago is tired of being identi
fied with Ibe sixlt-t n to one declaration.
—Chicago Times-Herald.
E7"Thc Chicago Record remarks that
"the republican party )>s much more
unanimous in favor of having sixteen to
one in the democratic platform tin-n the
democrats themselves.'" The repub
licans are anxious to deliver the death
blow, and settle the matter for all lime.
lowa State Register.
C7The plan suggested by William
Jennings Bryan as a proper solution ol
the trust problem is just such a one a?
might have been expected from such a
source. In brief, while he intimates
that trusts are now run in an illegal
manner, he would license that illegality
and bring them under the protection of
the general government.—Philadelphia
Inquirer.
A BATTLE IN A BANK.
A Young Tlnn Atlurka Hi" < anliier and
Ifotli Are lalatly Wounded.
Chicago. Sept. "1. —Frederick J.
Filbert, the aged cashier of the Pala
tine bank in Palatine, 111. .'<> miles
north of Chicago—is lying close *o
death as the result, of an attack mailt:
upon him Wednesday by a young ni.m
who gives the name of Walter Law ton.
'1 he latter, who is unknown to any
body iti Palatine, and apparently 'if
good education, is in the county jail
suffering from a bullet wound in the
abdomen which will probably prove
fatal. Henry Plaggo, 70 years old,
a farmer, whose intervention at a
critical moment prevented the outright
murder of the cashier, is at his home
cut and bruised and disabled as a re
sult of his struggle with Lawton,
whose motive for the assault, accord
ing to his statement, was not robbery.
Tlie attack upon Filbert was made
with a tack hammer and the aged
cashier was struck at least a dozen
times before Plrtggo interfered.
The attack occurred at 3 o'clock in
the afternoon. At this hour many
residents of the community were
thrown into a tumult by hearing the
report of a revolver and the noise of u
fierce struggle in the bank rooms.
William Onrms. a farmer, was among
the first to reach tlie bank rooms. As
he entered lie almost fell over the form
of Cashier Filbert, who, witfi" torn
clothing and bleeding head was feebly
trying to crawl through the open door.
Harms turned and ran into the street
shouting "Murder" and then returned
to the bank. Sounds of struggling
still came from the rear room and
Garms hurried to that apartment. As
he pushed open tlie glass door he found
the old German farmer. Plaggo. bleed
ing from a number of wounds, but
fighting vigorously with a stalwart
young inan who lay on the foor with
Plaggo on top of him. A bloody tack
hammer and a revolver with a broken
butt lay on either side of the strug
gling men. The young man's clothes
were stained with blood.
The crowd which had gathered rap
idly after the alarm hnrt been given
separated the two men and took the
Ettpposed robber to the village lockup.
I.awton's confessed motive for the
assault wits revenge on Filbert, who,
he alleges, alienated the affections of
his wife. His story is not believed by
the police. They have no doubt the
looting of the bank was his ultimate
design.
The robber says he tracked Filbert
for five years and that lie discovered
only recently where the object of his
pursuit lived. lie went to the bank,
he asserts, to demand $1,500 in satis
faction of the old injury. The cash
balance of the institution was $1(10,000,
all of which was in the vaults at the
time the assault took place.
BARRED OUT.
Tlany Cioveriimeiit ('lerkn Now on Hie
'l'einporary ttoll Cannot he 'l'raiik
lerreii to (lie l*rrmaneii■ List.
Washington, Sept. 21.—The attorney
general has given an opinion to the
state department which is of great in
terest to the large army of government
clerks in this city who are on what is
known as the temporary roll. The
attorney general holds that the amend
ment to Rule 8 of the Civil service
rules, recently made by President Mc-
Kinley, applies only to those persons
holding? temporory appointment. in
the government service at Washing
ton, who were certified by the eivi!
service commission for such temporary
appointment.
The effect of this opinion is to com
pletely shut out from possibility o(
transfer to the permanent, rolls of the
departments all persons holding tem
porary appointments not certified by
the civil service commission. Nearly
all the persons on the temporary rid l
of the war and treasury departments
come within this prohibitory category,
for the reason that they were appoint
ed by the heads of the respective de
partments during tin Spanish war
without certification from the civil
service commission.
ICartlKiuakcH In Ataxics.
Seattle. Sept. 21. —The steamship
City of Topeka arrived from Lynn
canal last night with news of an earth
quake which liciran September 3 and
continued until September 10. The
earthquake extended from Pitueya
bay, 150 miles below Vakutat, 500
miles northwest into the Cook Inlet
country. It was the greatest phe
nomena witnessed in Alaska since n
similar occurrence in the Russian
days. Three distinct shocks were
felt at Juneau. The earthquake was
most, severe at Yakiutat. Kalian island,
at the entrance to Vakutat bay. sank
2('< feet into the sea. At high tiile
only the tops of trees are visible.
Huge fissures opened in the earth.
StriUe* in Havana.
Havana .Sept. 21.—The strike has as
sumed serious proportions. It is now
estimated that there are 12.000 striking
masons, painters, carpenters, curt men
and laundry workers, and if. as is
threatened, the haekmen, stevedores
and eigarmakers strike within tlie nevt
few days .there will be another 4,000.
The eartmen went out Wednesday,
thereby paralyzing the wholesale busi
ness houses. They give as a reason
for their action the unfair treatment
1 bey have been receiving at the hands
of the police, a majority being Span
iards. Many business men say tli'v
strikc ofcthe carl men is the only legiti
mate strike.
V! recti on flii* p. A O.
Parke: sburg. W. Va.. Sept. 21 .—Train
No. <>ii the Baltimore Ohio. wi>:
wrecked yesterday near Pet-oleum, W.
Va. Knginecr William Meyers '.vav
killed. Three poshi! clerics nnt! ihivy
trainmen were injured. Tlie eirvjnr
mail ear and the bav/iyatre ear I >fi flu;
track. Passengers not hurt.
Conireiafliinal'ii.o' 'on 1 Meet*.
Boston. Sept. 21.—The first interna
tional Congregational council to ue
held in the United States and the sec
ond in the history of tin body began
its session yesterday in Trei >ont Tem
ule.
ANTI-TRUST CONFERENCE.
Otn< InU l''rom IClrvrii Stud's .tlcrl lit
SI. Loulii to hlm iiiK tlc iiiK lor < ru»b*
in- I OlllltllKD.
Si. bonis, Kept. 21.—Tin? governors
of Arkansas, Tennessee, M iehigan.
Missouri. Colorado and 10-.va, most 01
them accompanied by their attorney:
general. ami the attorneys general anti
oilier representatives of Montana, In
diana, Mississippi and Washington, in
response to the imitation of Gov.
Say res, of Texas, to meet in <-on Ter
ence for the purpose of discussing' the
trust question, assembled Wednesday
at the Planters' hotel, where three ses
sions were held. The conference will
he concluded to-day, when the commit
tee on resolutions will report.
(iov. Payers was present with his at
torney general and was ehos-n perma
nent chairman of the conference.
Govs. MeLaurin, of Mississippi; Foster,
of bouisiana, and Candler, of Georgia,
sent regrets.
Most of the day was spent, in speech
making and almost, every one of those
present was afforded an opportunity
to tiir his views on the question. There
were several tilts between speakers of
opposite political faith, that gave spice
to the proceedings.
At the morning session (iov. Steph
ens, of Missouri, made a partisan fling
at the republican national administra
tion, criticizing its expansion policy
end declaring that trusts and imperial
ism go hand in hand. (iov. Shaw, of
lowa, took u]) the gauntlet thrown
down by Stephens and at the after
noon session answered him in a speech
which brought smiles to the faces of
those present.
In turn (iov. Jones, of Arkansas,
took lowa's chief magistrate to task
for using facetious language at such
a gathering.
There seemed to be a great difference
of opinion as to the best method of
remedying the so-called trust evil.
Some of those present thought tha't
the state laws now in vogue were suf
ficient to control the operations of the
combinations complained of, while
others were of the opinion that uni
form laws should be enacted by the
several states and by congress Some
were for the complete annihilation of
the trusts, while others favored their
regulation. (lovs. Say res and i*in
gree in their speeches showed them
selves strongly in favor of the tirst
idea, as was (iov. Jones, of Arkansas.
Govs. Thomas, of Colorado, and Shaw,
of lowa, favored tlTo enactment of
laws to restrict the combines. There
was almost as much difference of
opinion among tlie attorneys general
who were heard.
DREYFUS IS FREE.
B»or» or lite l*rl»»n HI tteniirn Oprs
and the Captain SiartK lor an I Ki
lt no ivii Destination.
I'ennes, France. Sept. 21.—Capt.
Dreyfus at o'clock Wednesday morn
ing left the prison here in which he
had been confined since his return
from Devil's island and proceeded to
Vern ,where lie took a train for Nan
tes. His departure was completely
unnoticed.
Nantes, Sept. 21.—Dreyfus arrived
here from llenncs, accompanied by his
brother Mattien. the chief of the se
cret police and one policeman. The
party traveled as ordinary passengers.
The train reached the station at S: 17
a. m. The Dreyfus brothers alighted
on.the platform first, followed by the
police. A waiter said thev could have
a private room and the brothers en
tered and ordered two glasses, of milk
while the police remained outside in
the public bar. Inquiry was then
made concerning the llordeunx train,
which left at .S:SS a. m. Ml four then
entered a tirst class compartment, in
which there were other passengers. It
was intended by thus refraining from
any attempt to secure privacy to avoid
exciting curiosity and this apparently
succeeded. The prlice only went as
far as the first stop. Yerfoux. whence
they returned to Nantes to catch the
express for Paris, leavinir the brothers
to continue their journey alone. If
is believed they alighted at an inter
mediate station to take a fresli start
in an unknown direction.
Paris. Sept. 21. —The Anrore pub
lishes the following declaration from
Dreyfus: "I he government of the re
public has given me my liberty, but
liberty is milling to me -without honor.
From to-day 1 shall continue to seek
reparation for the frightful judicial
error of which I remain the victim I
wish France to know b\ a definite
judgment that lam innocent. My
heart, will only tie at rest when there
remains not a single Frenchman who
imputes to me the abominable crime
perpetrated by another"
REFUSE TO PARADE.
li, A. W. *Jcti Will Not Participate !n
New \ or'.'* Bpwej' < ration.
New York, Sept. 21. t'nless the
plans of C. !'. lioe, chairman of the
land parade committee of the Dewey
celebration, are changed ihe (!. A. U
will not be represented in the parade.
Joseph W. Kay. department command
er of the New York <!. \. 1!., has sent
a letter to Mr. lioe. declining the invi
tation for a number of reasons. These
are that the C. A. I! forces have been
placed at the end of the procession,
instead of at the head of the column;
Iliat Roc lias taken no cognizance <«f
Commander-in-Chief Albert D. Shaw
and lias sent him no invitation to any
of the functions, and that O. O. How
ard has been placet! in command of
the ('. A. I>. forces on the d:iv of the
parade, contrary to the regulations of
that organization.
■<"! i"i 'i" «'«i t >.>tcvti Trip.
Washington. Sept. '.lThe arrange
ment- (lie nre«sdcnt's western trip
are be'ng perfected. The president
will go wc-t even if the pre:-< nf di!;i
--• ;itti> - !•! '•ont c, ilon with the < hieagu
'clebrat: ti are not adjiM d. lie w'll
cin ( l'.-buig. ll'.. n October T, and
it St. Paul to r«< the Minne>a>* i
rolunteers returning from the Philip
pines. on the ir'th. From ihe sfli ; i
the 11 lii In will be in Chicago unless
Ihe celebration there, which is set for
the 101 It.i. abandoned. There are a
number of other engagements in con
temph'fii n.
"Necessity is the
Mother of Invention."
// <was the necessity for a reliable
blood purifier and tonic that brought "
into existence Hood's Sarsaparilla. It . ,
..is * highly concentrated extract prepared ■
by a combination, proportion and proc
ess peculiar to itself and giving to
Hood's Sarsaparilla unequalled cura
trw^Mrwt^^emember
THE SERIOUS CEREUS.
Mr. Smith Think* There Are Timra
When They Amount to
n Tragedy.
"Night-blooming cereuses are no joke,"
remarked Smith to hi* partner as he ar
rived at the office about 12 o'clock in the
day.
"Serious things, I suppose," remarked
Brown, jocularly.
Smith groaned. "Serious? Well, I should
say so. They are a tragedy. We have one
in our family, and just as soon as I can per
suade my wife togo down to her mother's
for a few days that hoodoo of a botanical
specimen goes in the ash barrel. For some
reason or other my wife decided that the
cereus was going to bloom last night. It has
threatened to bloom so many times and then
backed out at the last minute that nobody
but a woman would have any more faith in
it. liut it was a sure thing this time and
Mrs. Smith sent runners all over town to
summon our friends into see that dastardly
thing burst into flower; certain billed to
blossom out at midnight. When 1 came
home Mrs. Smith said:
" 'Now, Henry, a night-blooming cereus is
something you don't see in flowers more
than once in a century —or is it a thousand
years? Anyway it's an awful long time.
And I've invited the Jones and the Collinses
and the greens and—'
"Well, about 50 people, half of 'cm living
seven miles out on the Xorth side. I had ar
ranged to meet a man at the club, but 1 tele
phoned him I wouldn't be there. Then the
caterers came and they turned the house into;
an ice-cream parlor. All my papers and
books and fishing rods and guns were car
ried out of the study to clear a suitable
place for that confounded cereus. it took
the center of the stage and kept it, and as far
as I am concerned I wish botany was at the
bottom of the sea. The layout cost mc SSO
besides losing in the melee a deed to tea
lots in Knglewood."
"Well, but the cereus?" queried Tirown.
"Oh, yes, hang it, the thing didn't bloom.
Flunked for the twenty-fifth time!"— Ch
icago Inter Ocean.
RUFFLES DAD'S DIGNITY.
The Yonnu lln»el>nll Rooter Cnusei
Hl* Paternal to Feel Too
Prominent.
He is a Chicago board of trade man, dig
nified to a degree, has luxuriant, bushy side
whiskers, clean chin and upper lip, and he
dearly loves baseball. He also has a son
six years old, wh6 loves the game as dearly
as does his father, and while the elder enjoy*
the playing in a solid, placid, contented
the boy bubbles over with
outroots all other rooters. 112
During the last Chicago-St. Louiffl p.,
father and son sat in the grand stanJunder
the intense strain of knowing that S£ Louis
had two men on bases and two out; and if
the man at the bat made a base hit the score
would be tied. The latter smote the ball
heavily. It soared upwards r.d onward, far
back into what the baseball reporter calls
"the left garden."
Left Fielder Ryan was there, and, after a
long, hard spurt, caught the fly on his finger
tips and held it. Ihe crowd screamed joy
ously and the small son of his father nearly
went out of his skin for glee. The father
merely smiled with dignity.
Finally the crowd ceased its yelling after
the left fielder had doffed his cap thriqe.
There was silence as he walked to tlie bench
twirling his blond mustache with cither
hand.
Then, with hi* father's clean shaven upper
lip in mind, and with a voice that drew the
attention of the assembled hundreds toward
his devoted dad, the six-year-old rooter fair
ly yelled: "O, pap, don't you wish you
had a mustache like Jimmie Ryan's?"—Chi
cago Tribune.
One Henson.
Green—Why is it that some doctors have
co small a practice?
DeWitt—lt may be because they are
practicing physicians.—Cleveland Leader.
Teacher—"What do you know about
Jonah?" Scholar—"lie was the first man
to take a trip in the vicinity of the oil re
gion."—Yonkers Statesman.
SUFFERED 25
Congressman IJotkin, of Winfteld, Kansas.
In a recent letter to Dr. Hartman, Con*
gressman llotkin says:
".My Dear Doctor- It gives me pleasure
to certify to the excellent curative qualities
of your medicines—Pe-ru-na and Man-a-lin.
I have been attluted more or less for a
quarter of a century with catarrh of the
stomach and constipation. A residence in
Washington has increased these troubles..
A few bottles of your medicine have given,
me almost complete relief, and I am sure
that a continuation of them will effect a per
manent cure. Pe-ru-na is surely a wonder
ful remedy for catarrhal affections."
•I. D. liotkin.
The most, common form of summer ca
tarrh is catarrh of the stomach. This in
generally known as ilyspep-i i. Congress
man Jtotkin was a victim oi this disease
twentv-ftvc years. Peru na cures these
cases like magic. Addn * Dr. Hartman, Co*
lumbus, <)., for a fre-e book.
I The microbes thai, cause chills and
fever and malaria enter the system
through mucous membranes made
porous by catarrh. Pe-ru-na heals the
mucous membranes and prevents the
entrance of malarial perms, (hitspre*
venting and curing* these alYoctions.
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