ABUSES IN THE ARMY.
Why There Is No Harmony in Our
Military Establishment
Thf rt Art Too Mnny 111 ili-pi-ml en t
lluri'iiu* Whoar lleail* Are In a
Mriiaure >ul l>le
to Anybody.
[Special Washington Letter ]
The army reorganization bill, of
which so much has been said in the
newspapers, is a measure which has not
been analyzed so that everybody can
understand it.
That the army of this republic is in
a disorganized condition must Vie mani
fest to all of tne people; and it is not
putting it too strong to say that the
condition of our army is a disgrace to
this nation before the peoples of the
civilized world.
This condition, which has brought
all of the war department scan
dals, results from the everlasting con
flict between the secretary of war and
the general commanding the army.
Every general commanding the army
has found himself handicapped and his
power of command taken from him by
the civilian secretary of war, no mat
ter whether the secretary of war knows
anything about military affairs or
not.
When Grant was made lieutenant
general he so well understood how our
armies had been handicapped by orders
from Washington that, in the presence
of the cabinet, he accepted the com
mission from President Lincoln, say
ing that he would not retain that com
mission unless it carried with it the
full command of the army, (irant was
to great and powerful at that time that
President Lincoln gave him the com
mand; and from that moment all of
the federal armies moved under one
impulse and direction.
When Sherman became general in
command, after Grant became presi
dent. he assumed command, just as
Grant had done, and issued orders for
the appointment of his staff officers.
{Sherman expected to have full com
mand. of course, Hut Gen. Kan lins was
secretary of war, and he influenced his
friend. President Grant, to take the
staff officers from the command of the
general, and. place them under 1 he com
mand of the secretary of war. Presi
dent Grant did so. lie would not have
taken that stand for anybody oti earth
except Eawlins. who had been his warm
est friend and almost his guardian angel
in his days of trouble and peril.
When President (irant toDk that
stand. Gen. Sherman left Washington
ar.d took up his abode in St. Louis, be
cause he did not want to be a mere fig
urehead in the war department at the
national capital. Years went by, and
Sherman made his home in St. Louis,
occasionally visiting Washington as a
mere matter of form. Put he was never
in actual command of the army.
The result of Grant's orders has been
the disgraceful and scandalous condi
tions, increasing in disgrace and acri
mony from year to year; so that when
the war with Spain began our regular
army and our volunteer army did not
pass to the command of the senior ma
jor general of the army, but all of them
were placed at tlie mercy of a civilian
secretary of war, and staff officers who
wire independent of the general under
v hose command they should have
tc rved.
This brief statement contains the ker
nel of the causes of all the needless suf
ferings and deaths to which our sol
diers were subjected. It makes no dif
ference who may be the secretary of
war. whether his name is Alger, Mc-
Creary, Lincoln, Endicott, Proctor or
•Tones; it is improper that a civilian sec
retary of war should be allowed by law
to supervise duties of which he must
necessarily be ignorant, while the gen-
L iS®
1 m uSJPr
GKN. H. C. CORISIN.
{Adjutant General of ihe United States
Army.)
eral nominally in command is deprived
of actual command, so that there call
be no coherence of military plans and
purposes. Gen. Grant, who divorced the
army from the command of the secre
tary of war. afterwards restored the
conditions which had embarrassed the
army eo nmanders for many years.
Consequently, with all respect to the
memory of that great soldier, it must
truthfully be said that it is by his or
der that the army is so disorganized.
This condition of affairs will continue
under all generals until the congress
shall take action, and enact a law which
•will make it impossible for anybody to
come between the commanding general
and his troops.
There are ten bureau chiefs attached
to the office of tlie secretary of war, all
of th< in brigadier generals*, and all of
them independent of the commanding
general, under whose direct orders
thc \ should be required to serve, in
sti ;,d of being classified * cnlefs of
bureaus- attached to the secretary of
war. The civilian branch of the war
department is- big enough for a civil
ian secretary to handle and direct,
w itliout taking upon himself the direc
tion oi the military men, particularly
in time of war. The ten brigadier gen
erais, known as bureau chiefs, are as
follows:
The adjutant genpral, who is the
military clerk to the secretary of war,
through whom all orders are issued to
the army. He is the chief staff officer,
but can issue no orders on hisowj, re
sponsibility.
The judge advocate general is the
legal authority of the war department,
and hlsi duties are seldom increased in
time of war, although every otherstatf
officer, including the adjutant general,
have their duties multiplied.
The inspector general is charged
with inspections of the troops, of their
camps, of their food supplies, their
medical supplies and their surgical at
tendance. He inspects! their clothing,
their arms, their ammunition, and
everything connected with their hy
gienic surroundings.
It is the duty of the quartern*<«*,ter
general to provide quarters for all
armies, furnish them with clothing and
supplies, furnish transportation, horses
for cavalry and artillery, and all duties
kindred thereto.
The commissary general is charged
with the duty of providing food for the
army, no matter how numerous may be
the soldiers. It is> expected that the
commissary general will purchase and
send to the troops- only the best army
rations obtainable; and that he will
keep the supplied going forward as
rapidly as the quartermaster general
can handle them.
The surgeon general is expected to
furnish medical supplies, hospital sur
geons, hospital stewards, hospital
nurses, and all appliances for the com
fort and well being of the soldiers,
whether in camp or field, and partic
ularly when the soldier- are cam
paigning and engaging in battle.
The paymaster general's duties are
implied in the name of the olliee. The
paymaster general is. responsible for
the payment of the soldiers, and upon
him devolves great responsibility, par
ticularly in time of war.
The chief of engineers has charge of
the fortifications, river and harbor im-
GEN. A. W. GREELT.
(Chief Signal Officer of the L'nited State*
Army.)
provements, bridge buildings, hand
ling pontoons for army use in cross
ing' streams, and in debarking and em
barking troops.
The chief of ordnance iscliarged with
supplying the army with the latest im
proved cannons, rifles anil other lire
arms, and with the ammunition to
make them available for offense and
defense.
The chief signal officer has charge of
the military telegraph and signal serv
ice. During Ihe late war with Spain
this branch of the army rendered ex
ceptionally valuable service in laying
telegraph and telephone lines, and in
destroying submarine cables which
were in use by the enemy.
These staff officers cost the country
a great deal of money, whether in time
of peace or in time of war. The pay
roll, recapitulated, follows:
to brigadier generals $",5,000
30 colonels 13r>,000
">2 lieutenant colonels
130 majors 470,'w0
]OS captains 423.300
M first lieutenants JTn.wfi
111 second lieutenants I'.eOOO
Aggregate $1,487,020
They come high, but we must have
them. This brief statement does not
begin to cover their expense, because
in addition to these there are others,
many others. The figures given do not
include the armies in the Held in times
of peace and war. The last army ap
propriation bill aggregated upwards
of $80,000,000.
Moreover, in addition to the pay of
the general staff, given above, the gov
ernment pays four cents per mile to
officers who are traveling, and this is
in addition to their paid transporta
tion furnished by the quartermaster
general's department. For example,
an officer ordered from Hositon to .Ma
nila would travel about 12,000 miles,
and he would get four cents per mile
in addition to his paid transportation.
The government would take him to
Manila, and pay him S4SO additional
for making the trip. Consequently, the
army officers like to be ordered about,
because every trip they make in
creases their annual incomes.
Private soldiers get nothing but
their transportation, tlieir food and
clothing, and the opportunity to be
killed. Hut the officers-are better paid
thian in any other country. Moreover,
they have gold braid, epaulettes, so
ciety ad,vantages, hops, dances and
opportunities to marry heiresses. Kven
with the risk of life in battle, in these
days when wars seldom occur it is
much better for young men to seek ap
pointments as army o flic ens than togo
into polities and aspire for the presi
dency. Almost any good fellow can
get to be an army oflicer. but few suc
ceed in politics. SMITH L>. FKV.
Juvenile Wisdom.
The master was asking questions.
"Xow. boys," lie said, "how many
months have 2s days'."'
"All of them," replied a sharp lad at
once. —Tit-Hits*
A Slurried Mnn*fi Version.
"What is fiction, pa?"
"Any story that says 'they married
and lived happily ever after.' X, V,
World.
CAMERON COUNTY PRESS, THURSDAY, APRIL 13, 1899.
WOULD PARTITION SAMOA. j
German* llolrc an i:«|ual Dlvlalol ol
the Inlandn lletiveen tlie Three fi it
er* Interested.
Washington, April o.—The Samoan
agreement for a commission has pro
gresed to the point where the three I
governments are exchanging notes as
to the members of the commission, j
This is accepted as an assurance that
I/ord Salisbury accepts not only the
principle of the commission but the
commission itself, as the consideration |
of the British delegate would hardly !
be entered upon unless the commission :
was assured. The published report j
that three commissioners would be ,
named from each country is without i
foundation, as such a plan has never j
been considered. There will be one
from each country, of about the same |
relative rank. It is to insure this j
similarity of standing that the three |
governments are discussing the names
of commissioners, the question being |
whether they will be military men, j
consuls generals, or officials In the
foreign service.
The semi-official announcement that
the German government will not ap
point either Consul General Rosenthal |
or Consul General Hose as its represen- 1
tative on the Samoan commission,taken j
in connection with the declaration of a ;
purpose to select an official of the rank
of consul general for the place, con- !
firms the belief of the officials here j
that the intention is to name Dr. ]
Schmidt as the German commissioner,
lie is now a privy counsellor and a di
rector in the foreign office at Berlin !
of matters conected with Asiatic and !
Samoan policy. lie was consul gen
r-ral of Samoa at Apia until four years I
ag-o. when he was withdrawn at the j
instance of the United States, owing
to his attitude toward Mr. Mulligan,
the Tinted States consul general there. !
The ultimate German aim is a friend
ly division of the islands, to which pro- ;
position official Berlin believes America j
will not object, if its coaling station is
secured.
ANTI-TRUST LAW.
Proceed I Arc to lie
Illegal Combine ol Coal Dealer*.
Washington, April 6. —By direction j
of Solicitor General Richards, with the j
approval of Attorney General Griggs, |
n bill in equity has been prepared oy
United States Attorney Rundy, bring
ing' action in the United States court j
for the southern district of I'hio j
against the Chesapeake A- Ohio Fuel
Co., of Cincinnati, and 15 other com- |
panics or corporations, miners or pro- j
ducers and shippers of coal or coke, !
for violation of the anti-trust act of :
July 2, 1890.
It is alleged in the bill that the de- 1
fendants on December 15. 1597, entered
into a contract and combination in the i
form of a trust and conspiracy in re- j
straint of trade and commerce in re- i
gard to the sale and production of coal |
and coke, and in violation of law. j
This agreement, it is said, went into j
effect about January 1, IMK, and since
that time they have monopolized and
controlled the amount of coal and coke j
produced in the Kanawha district and ;
only permitted such amount of coal j
mined and coke made 'by the several j
defendants as could be sold by the j
Chesapeake A- Ohio Fuel Co., and that
the defendants were only permitted to j
ship their proportionate amount of j
coal at a stipulated price, figured upon j
the ratio designated in the contract as ,
fixed by the executive committee. Ry j
this action it is alleged that competi
tion in the sale of the same has been j
wholly destroyed.
The court is petitioned to enjoin the j
defendants from selling or shipping j
any coal or coke into any state otliei j
than that in which they reside, by vir
tue of their agreement, which the court
is asked to declare illegal and void.
DID NOT AGREE.
H Ide IMH'creiice ol Opinion Between
\Vltiie»nc» Kelore tlie Sleet" Court.
Washington, April (>.—The two prin
cipal witnesses before the beef inquiry !
court yesterday were Prof. Russell 11. j
Chittenden, of Yale college, and Dr. j
Samuel A. Currie, who was lieutenant
colonel of the Second New Jersey regi- .
ment, which was stationed at Jackson
ville during the war. Prof. Chitten
den is one of the chemists selected by ,
the government to analyze the canned j
roast beef. He presented his report
showing that Ihe 'beef generally was |
good. No chemicals had been found \
by him in its preparation and it was
generally wholesome. He, however, j
expressed doubt as to whether the heat j
of tlie tropical climate would not cause j
the fat in the cans to liquify and thus ;
render the food displeasing to the j
sight. Col. Davis stated that most of I
the cans from which the samples were I
taken for analysis had been exposed j
to the heat of tropical countries, some j
of the cans being brought from Havana |
for the test.
Dr. Currie testified that the refrigcra* ,
tor beef suppiled at Jacksonville had j
on some occasions made the men sick.
Tie 'had made chemical analysis of the !
beef, which in one case showed the
presence of salyeilic acid and in an
other of boracic acid.
Maj. Lee presented more of the cor
respondence between 'Jen. Miles and
the court and putin a request on be
half of the general that nine of the
130 witnesses whose names he had I
•heretofore suggested be called, saying |
that they would testify concerning re- |
frigerator beef and chemically treated
beef. The court did not indicate j
whether the request would be com
plied with.
Killed Wile and < liild and Siilelded,
Albany, Ga„ April fi.—Walter R. !
Jackson, Tiis wife and their 3-months- '
old babe, were found dead in bed yes
terday. Jackson and his wife each |
had a pistol shift in the head, while '
the child was shot through the body, j
Tt is evident that Jackson first shot j
his wife and child and then himself.'
Jackson was a young business man of j
high standing and was married two J
years ago. Until recently he was j
cashier of a warehouse firm. It is sup- ,
posed he brooded over the loss of his !
position and killed his family and him- j
nelf in a fit of insanity.
BOMBARDED DAGUPAN.
Thr ('miner Charleston Slicll* a Phil
ippine < Ity—Spanlah Olllnm Join
llic llrbrl Army.
Manila, April 0. —The United States
cruiser Charleston, which lias been
cruising' along* the west coast of T,uzon
; to the north, sent a boat in shore near
I Dagupan, last Saturday, to make
i soundings. The rebels opened fire,
wounding a United States officer. The
cruiser thereu|>on bombarded the town,
| the insurgents evacuating it.
| There are persistent rumors that
Aguinahlo, the insurgent leader, has
| been supplanted in the control of the
j Filipino affairs by Gen. Antonio buna,
I commander-in-chief of the Filipino
forces. buna is described as being
I i typical belligerent,
j The proclamation of the United
States Philippine commission was post
[ ed in t.lie streets, printed in English,
I Spanish and Tagalo. Tt was also dis
j tributed in the outside town's as far
j as Malolos, and has lieen received with
I marked atention by the natives gen
-1 prally and has been approved by a num-
I ber of representative Manilians. Eng
lish bankers here, who have been inter
j viewed on the subject, are optimistic
j upon the attitude of the Americans, as
i stinting that it indicates that the decis
: ve policy will undoubtedly be success
ful.
Madrid. April 0. Th('Spanish war
minister has received information that
a large number of Spanish ollicers who
had been prisoners in the hands of the
Tagalos had entered the service of the
latter. Among the prisoners were
some of the Spanish general's staff
I and officers of artillery. In Spanish
I military circles this is held to explain
the military organization of the T a pals
••.gainst the Americans, which has hitli
j rto been inexplicable.
Washington, \pril f>.—Tf Gen. Otis is
i maturing plans for another aempnign
j against the insurgents in the vicinity
of Calumpit. a~ in Heated in dispatches
from Manila, he has not so informed
| the war department. The general has
; not communicated with the department
for two days.
WITH WATCHFUL EYES.
Japan See* Oilier Nation* IHnnieiiilier
China and Now Demand* u Share.
Vancouver, R. C., ApriJ 6.—Advices
from the far east brought by the
steamer Fin press of Japan indicate
j that Japan has watched with jealous
J eyes Italy's recent attempt to get a
j lease of San Mun bay. The Japanese
j press recently circulated a report that
j the United States was demanding con-
J cessions. Marquis Ito, Japan's great
est states nan. was interviewed on the
j subject but said he was not much con
! cerned at the reported American de
j mand, contending that i.othing need be
feared, as all countries held the same
! rights as far as settlements were con
cerned. Marquis Ito has, however,
j been in communication with Li Hung
Chang awl advised various reforms.
Tie said a partition of China would be
Inevitable should China persist in hex
present course of action. In the San
I Mun affair the Japanese are saying
j that their government must abandon
i the hold aloof vdicy hitherto adopted
| and demand son.e substantial grant of
| land from China.
Mr. Vulo, Japanese minister at Pe
kin, has applied to the Chinese gov
| eminent for five new settlements for
| Japan's exclusive use to be opened at
Fooehow, Amoy, New Chwang, Shang
, hai and Chungkiang, in addition to
Tienstin and Hankow, settlements
j which have been conceded already. Tt
112 is stated that the Chinese government
has decided to entertain these demands
with tin- exception of Shanghai and
Chungkiang 1 .
THE BRIBERY INQUIRY.
LalPKt Development* 111 the liive*tlga«
tioii at Harrlabiirg.
Ifnrrishurg. Pa., April 6.—The brib
ery investigating committee resumed
yesterday. William J). Wilson, of
Westmoreland, who testified at a pre
1 vious meeting that he was twice offered
! $5,000 to change his vote from Col.
j Huff to Senator Quay—ssoo cash and
the balance after he voted—and then
declined to give the name of the per
son who made the alleged offer, was
j the first witness and said that the man
who offered him the bribe was ex-Rep
i rcsentative John R. Byrne, of 'Scott
dale.
Charles P. Harder, assistant post
master at Danville, l'a.. denied that hp
told Representative Foster, of Mon
i tour, that if he went into the republi
can senatorial caucus and voted foi
Quay Tie was authorized by Mr. Quay
to sav to Foster that he (Ha-rder)
would be appointed postmaster. Ilar-
I der stated that Mr. Quay had never
! told him he would be appointed if Fos
! ter went into the caucus and voted for
him. He admitted that he advised
i Foster togo into the caucus because
|he was elected as a republican, and
i insisted that he held out no induce
j merit to him to attend the caucus or
j that he talked with him about the
| post ofliee when this conversation on
cur red. He ch n nie ten zed Posters
statement about the post office as a
pure fabrication.
lthnde Island'* Election.
Providence, TL L. April 6—The state
election yesterday resulted in a re
publican victory, though the democrats
| made gains in many localities. The
! entire republican state ticket was suc
-1 cessful and the general assembly will
j be republican bv a large (majority,
though not as large as last year. Ihe
socialist vote is large iu the cities.
Brigandage In < nba.
Havana, April G.—Plantation raids
1 and the carrying- off of cattle and
horses by outlaws are reported as tak
| ino- place in the provinces of Puerto
Principe, Santa Clara. Matanzas and
j Pinar del Rio. The Cuban troops in
! those districts are chasing the maraud
ers. no I'nit•'ll States troops thus far
having been s"iit after them. The
inili ,iry administration intends to sup
j press the brigands by mi 1 i:is of -he
rural guards and has no present inten
i tion of sending American cavalry or
j infantry through an unknown country
I after these nimble thieves.
THIHTEEN_ DEAD.
New York City Produces An
other Fire Horror.
A FRIGHTFUL CALAMITY.
Palatial Residence of W. C. An
drews Burned Like Tinder.
JUST TWO PERSONS ESCAPED
An A rl»toeratle Section of tlie < Ity la
tlii' Scene ol a IloloeimM, Only Mir
panned In fCxtent by llic \(inil«ur
Hotel IHnanter.
New York, April B.—Fire early Fri
day morning destroyed the handsome
residence of Wallace ('. Andrews at. No.
2 Fast Sixty-seventh street and 12 per
sons sleeping in the house were burned
to death. Firebrands carried by the
wind were blown into an open window
in the home of Albert J. Adams. No. .'J
Fast Sixty-ninth street, two blocks dis
tant, setting fire to the house and caus
ing the death of a servant. All of the
!.'{ bodies have been recovered. The
dead are:
Wallace C. Andrews, president of tlie
New York Steam Heating Co.
Mrs. W. C. Andrews, wife of the
above.
Mrs. Georgiana 1!. St. John, wife of
Mrs. Andrews' brother, Gamaliel St.
John, an official of the New York
Steam Heating Co.
Orson St. John, aged 7 years.
Wallace St. John, aged 3 years.
Frederick St. John, aged 13 months.
Nellie Roland, servant.
Mary Flannagan, servant.
Eva Peterson, servant.
Kate Downing, servant.
Mary Roth, servant.
Annie Neary, servant.
Tn the Adams fire Mary Laughnan,
aged 50 years, housekeper, died from
suffocation and burns.
Alice White, cook and Jennie Rurns,
laundress, the only inmates of the An
drews house who escaped, are in the
hospital in a serious condition. Seven
persons were injured by the fire in the
Adams house.
Whether the fire started from an ex
plosion of a lamp or of gas has not been
determined, but when it was first dis
covered at 2 a. m.the flames seemed to
burst from all parts of the house at
once. Policeman McKnight was at
Fifth avenue and Sixty-sixth street
when he heard an explosion and saw
the glare of flames in Sixty-seventh
street. He ran to the spot and saw
fire leaping from the upper windows of
the Andrews house and half way across
the street. He tried to break in the
door and arouse the inmates of the
house, but was driven back by the
flames. Not waiting any longer than
to arouse the Rothschild family in the
adjoining house, No. 4, he sent in an
alarm.
When the firemen arrived they went
through the Hot hschild house and
managed to get in the rear rooms of
the third floor of the Andrews home,
where they found Mrs. St. John and
her 3-year-old son Wallace unconscious
on the floor, their night clothes almost
burned off. They were taken into the
Rothschild house. Mrs. St. John died
within a few minutes. Her child died
fn the fireman's arms. The firemen
made repeated efforts to get to the
other rooms, but they might as well
have attacked a furnace. The building'
if saturated with oil could hardly have
burned more fiercely. Like most large
New York dwellings it was high and
narrow and encased on two sides Wy
solid brick walls, and the effect was
like a great chimney.
All efforts to arouse the inmates in
time to save themselves were fruitless
and aside from Mrs. St. John the only
other persons who got out of the house
alive were the two servants, Jennie
Rurns and Alice White, who appeared
at the upper windows terror-stricken
and. heedless of the cries of the fire
men that they would raise ladders an 1
save them, jumped. Jennie Hums
leaped out first. She turned over and
over and fell almost directly upon her
head. Her skull was fractured in sev
eral places. The other woman, when
she saw the fate of her friend, hesitat
ed for a moment, then as the smoke
thickened she jumped. She fell on a
rear extension of the building and was
picked up unconscious and severely in
jured.
While the fire in the Andrews house
was raging great clouds of sparks were
carried with the wind and a brand liew
into an open win (Tow of the home o!
Albert J. Adams. It caught in a cur
tain and instantly the room was ablaze.
A servant at the window Is thought fo
have ben Mary Laughnan. for her dead
body was found later. Tightly clasped
in her arms was the family <1 >g. When
tlie Adams house caught fir.' a num
ber of the policemen and firemen
gained an entrance and got the Adams
family out without serious injury.
The servants were frantic in their
efforts to escape, and Mary Malloy and
Minnie Rogue jumped from th" rear of
the fourth floor to the extension, from
which they were taken down. Nellie
Quinn was cut off on the fourth floor
and appearing at a front window, put
her hand over her eyes and jumped, as
she thought, t.i the ground, bur. in
stead landed on the roof r.f the bay
window, one story below and lay there
stunned. Policemen Louis ('. Wagner,
Mclnerney and Mcliill saw the woman
spring and, running into th" hous> at
No. .">. went the fourth iloor. W'ag
ner was held by the heels and made a
thrilling rescue of the w >n.an. The
firemen confined the fire in this house
to the third "d fourth fl ) >rs.
A '2l-Hour Hike Cacc.
\ew York, April s.- Thirty-three
men started in the 21-hours go-as-you
please bicycle race at the Grund Cen
tral Palace last night.
SMITHERS' RETORT.
Ha Makes m Tart Reply to the LaaA
lady at the Private Family
Hoarding llooae.
Mr. Smithers ia a somewhat fastidioui
young man who ia looking for a new board"
ing place. Smithers can't abide the regula
tion boarding house, and always tries to liva
with a private family, lie is now convinced
that an "ad." which solicits boardera for a
"nice private family" is often a snare for a
stuffy double Hat, inhabited by one small
family and 24 boarders.
Smithers called one day last week at ■
place with a glowing description just on th®
flank of Michigan avenue's aristocracy.
"Hum,suspiciously like a boarding bouse,''
thought Smithers, a» he took in the dimen
sions. A collarless negro servant wh®
opened the door confirmed his suspicions,
but he had gone too far then to back out.
A sharp-nosed, snippy landlady came ia
with a top-lofty air.
"Er-ah, I believe I am mistaken," he be
gan. "I supposed I should find a privats
family. By the advertisement—hu m—"
The laughter and the familiar boarding
house hum of 14 clerks and ten lady sten
ographers came up from the dining-room
in the basement. The mistress of the con
glomerate "private family" drew herself up
proudly. "You are entirely mistaken, sir,
she asserted, in a rasping, seven-dollar-a
week voice, "this is not a boarding house,
although we have a few friends living with
us."
Smithers sniffed the air. There was a dis
tinct odor of prunes and corned beef.
"Well, I must say," he remarked, as h«
turned up his coat collar and fled down tha
steps, "that it smells like a boarding house,
madam."—Chicago Inter Ocean.
ONE ACCOMPLISHMENT.
4 Finland Maiden Who Ilml On*
((uallllcatlun (or the I'oal
tlon of Cook.
The servant girl question is even mors
difficult in small western cities than it
i3 in New York. There no lady ventures
16 ask a reference, but contents herself
with a verbal examination of her appli
cant's capabilities.
There was an avalanche of Swede*
and in a Pacific slope town last
winter, and one wild-haired damsel pre
sented he.self as a candidate for a S2O-a
--month position as cook. The prospective
mistress thus interrogated her:
"Can you make good bread?"
"Hrod? Naw."
"Can you make soup?"
"Soup? Naw."
"Do you understand roasting meats?" !
"Meat? Naw."
"Can vou broil?"
"Naw."
"Can you clean brasses?"
"Naw."
"Can you watfh and iron?"
"Naw."
"Scrub?"
"Naw."
"Well, my goodness, girl! What can yott
do?"
The Finlander reflected. Then she an
swered proudly: "I can milk a reindeer!" 1
—N. Y. World.
KlpUns't Good Luck.
The first story that Kipling writes after
his illness will bring a fabulous price. It)
will be sought as eagerly by progressive pub-j
lishers as Jlostetter'a Stomach Bitters is by
all who suffer from stomach ills of any na
ture. No matter whether it be indigestion,!
constipation, biliousness, nervousness, stub-j
born liver or overworked kidneys, 1 lostet
ter's Stomach Bitters will cure it. It is am
unequaled spring medicine, curing and pre-'
venting malaria, fever and ague, and all ilia
resulting from a run-down system.
Mnnlc Hall llorror.
P. Arno—That baritone sings as if hi»
windpipe needed a job of plumbing. Is it'
bronchitis?
Pye l'organ—l think he's using his medi
cine-chest tones. —Chicago Tribune.
I- mm lluby la the lllKh Chair
to grandma in the rocker Grain-0 is good for
the whole family. It is the long-desired sub
stitute for coffee. Never upsets the nervea
or injures the digestion. Made from pura
grains it is a food in itself. Has the tasto
and appearance of the best coffee at 1 th»
price, it is a genuine and scientific articla
and is come to stay. It makes for health
and strength. Ask your grocer for Grain-O.
If a man is as timid as a hare, he ought
to die game.—Chicago Daily News.
44 Love and a Cough
Cannot be Hid."
It is this fact that makes
the lover and his sweetheart
happy, and sends the suf
ferer from a cough to his
doctor. *But there are hid
den ills lurking in impure
blood. 4 4 The liver is 'wrong,"
it is thought, 4 4 or the kid
neys." 'Did it ever occur
to you that the trouble is in
your blood?
Purify this river of life with Hood'®
Sarsaparilla. Then illness will be ban
ished, and strong', vigorous health will
result. Hood's Sarsaparilla is the best
known, best endorsed aud most natural
of all blood purifiers.
Catarrh— "l suffered from childhood
with catarrh. Was entirely deaf in one ear.
Hood's Sarsaparilla cured me and restored
my hearing." Mas. \V. STOKES, Midland,Tex.
Sore Eyes - "Humor in the blood
made my daughter's eyes sore, so th;;t w*
feared blindness, until "Hood's Sarsaparilla
made her entirely well." E. B. GiitsoH,
Henniker, N H.
Hood's I'ills cure livor 111*; the non-Irritating an 4
only eathartio t<» talco with Hood's SamapHrilla*
isr jjjjm
Stand. PI
ard of
Quality ir T,
AthSetic Goods -
"SpaSding." Accept no
substitute.
Handsome Catalogue Free
A. O. SPALDING 4 BROS.
New York. Chicago. Denver.
Ewjj Best Cough Syrup. '1 istes Uto
M In tinifl. Sold for druggists. w"|
3