Cameron County press. (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, February 17, 1898, Page 7, Image 7

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But all the time I was taking the
▼ery keenest notice of everything
which might possibly' help me. I am
not a man who would lie like a sick
horse waiting for the farriar sergeant
and the pole ax. First I would give a
little tug at my ankle cords, and then
another at those that were around my
■wrists, and all the time I was trying to
loosen them I was peering round to
see if 1 could find something which was
in my favor. There was one thing
which was very evident. A hussar is
but half formed without a horse, and
there was my other half quietly graz
ing within thirty yards of me. Then I
observed yet another thing. The path
by which we had come over the moun
tains was so steep that a horse could
only be led across it slowly and with
difficulty, but in the other direction
the ground appeared to be more open,
and to lead straight down into a gently
sloping valley. Had I but my feet in
yonder stirrups and my saber in my
hand, a single bold dash might take
me out of the power of these vermin of
£he rocks.
I was still thinking it over and strain
ing with my wrists and my ankles
■when their chief came out from his
gTotto and after some talk with his
lieutenant, who lay groaning near the
fire, they both nodded their heads and
looked across at me. He then said
some few words to the band, who
clapped their hands and laughed up
roariously. Things looked ominous, and
1 was delighted to feel that my hands
were so far free that I could easily slip
them through the cords if I wished.
But with my ankles I feared that I
could do nothing, for when I strained
it brought such pain into my lance
•wound that I had to gnaw my mustache
to keep from crying out. I could only
lie still, half free and half bound, and
see what turn thing's were likely to
For a little I could not see what they
were after. One of the rascals climbed
up to the top of a well-grown fir
he said a few words to TnE BAND.
tree up on cne side of the glade, and
tied a rope around the top of the trunk.
He then fastened another rope in the
same fashion to a similar tree on the
other side. The two loose ends were
now dangling down, and I waited with
Borne curiosity and just a little trepida
tion to see what they would do next.
The whole band pulled upon one of the
ropes until they had bent the strong
young tree down into a semi-circle,
and they then fastened it to a stump,
so as to hold it so. When they had
bent the other tree down in a similar
fashion, the two summits were within
a few feet of each other, though, as
you understand, they would each
spring back to their original position
the instant that they were released. I
already saw the diabolical plan which
those miscreants had formed.
"I presume that you area strong mar,
colonel," said the chief, coming toward
me with his hateful smile.
"If you will have the kindness to
loosen these cords," I answered, "I will
6how you how strong- 1 am."
"We were all interested to see wheth
er you were as strong as these two
young sapling-s," said he."lt is our in
tention, you see. to tie one end of each
rope round your ankles and then to let
the trees go. If jx»u are stronger than
the trees, then, of course, noharm would
be done. If on the other hand the trees
are stronger than you—why, in that
case, colonel, we may have a souvenir
of you upon each side of our little
glade." He laughed as he spoke, and at
the sight of it the whole forty of them
laughed also. Even now if lamin my
darker humor, or if I have a touch of
my old Lithuanian ague, I see in my
sleep that ring of dark savage faces
with their cruel eyes and the firelight
flashing upon their strong white teeth.
It is astonishing —and I have heard
many make the same remark —how
acute one's senses become at such a
crisis as this. lam convinced that at
no moment is one living so vividly, so
acutely, as at the inbtaat when a vio
lent and foreseen death overtakes one.
I could smell the resinous fagots, I
could see every twig upon the ground,
I could hear every rustle of the
branches, as I have never smelled, or
seen, or heard, save at such times of
danger. And so it was that, long be
fore anyone else, before even the time
when the chief had addressed me, I had
heard a low, monotonous sound, far
away, indeed, and yet coming nearer
at every instant. At first it was but a
murmur, a rumble, but by the time he
had finished speaking, while the assas
sins were untying my ankles in order to
lead me to the scene of my murder, I
heard, as plainly as ever I heard any
thing in my life, the clinking of horse
shoes, and the jingling of bridle chains,
with the clank of sabers against stirrup
irons. Is it likely that I, who had lived
with the light cavalry since the first
hair shaded my lip, would mistake the
sound of troopers on the march? "Help,
comrades, help!" I shrieked, and though
they struck me across the mouth and
tried to drag me up to the tree, I kept
on yelling: "Help me, my brave boys!
Help me, my children! They are mur
dering your colonel!" For the lament
my wounds and my troubles had brought
on a delirium, and I looked for nothing
less than my five hundred hussars,
kettle-drums and all, to appear at the
opening of the glade.
But that which really appeared was
very different to anything- which I had
conceived. Into the clear space there
came galloping a fine young man upon
a most beautiful roan horse. He was
fresh faced and pleasant looking, with
the most debonnaire bearing in the
world and the most gallant way of
carrying himself, a way which re
minded me somewhat of my own. He
wore a singular coat which had once
been red all over, but which was now
stained t-o the color of a withered oak
leaf wherever the weather could reach
it. His shoulder straps, however, were
of golden lace, and he had a bright
metal helmet upon his head with a>
coquettish white plume upon one side
of its crest. He trotted his horse up the
glade, while behind him there rode four
caveliers in the same dress —all clean
shaven, with round comely faces, look
ing to me mow like monks than
dragoons. At a short gruif order they
halted with a rattle of arms, while their
leader cantered forward, the fire beat
ing upon his eager face and the beauti
ful head of his charger. I knew of
course by the strange coats that they
were English. It was the first sight
that I had ever had of them, but from
their stout bearing and their masterful
way I could see at a glance that what I
had always been told was true, and that
they were excellent people to fight
"Well, well, well!" cried the young
officer, in sufficiently bad French:
"What devil's game are you up to here?
Who was that who was yellirg for
help, and what are you trying to do to
It was at that moment that I learned
to bless those months which Obriant,
the descendant of the Irish kings, had
spent in teaching me the tongue of the
English. My ankles had just been
freed, so that I had only to slip my
hands out of the cords, and with a
single rush I had flown across, picked
up my saber where it lay by the fire,
and hurled myself onto the saddle of
poor Vidal's horse. Yes, for all my
wound<id ankle, I never put foot to
stirrup, but was in the seat in a single
bvund. I tore the halter from the
tree, and before those villains could so
much as snap a pistol at me I was be
side the English officer.
"I surrender to you, sir," I cried,
though I dare say my English was not
much better than his French. "If you
will look at that tree to the left you
will see what these villains do to the
honorable gentlemen who fall into
their hands."
The fire had flared up at the mo
ment, and t here was poor Vidal exposed
before them, as horrible an object as
one could see in a nightmare. "Godam!"
cried the officer, and "Godam!" cried
each of the four troopers, which is the
same as with us when we cry "Mon
Dieu!" Out rasped the five swords and
the four men closed up. One who wore
a sergeant's chevron laughed and
clapped me on the shoulder. "Fight
for your skin, froggy," said he.
Ah! it was so fine to have * horse be
tween my thighs and a weapon ia my
grip. I waved it above my head and
shouted in my exultation. The chief
hud come forward, with that odious
smiling face of his.
"Your excellency will observe that
this Frenchman is our prisoner," he
"You are a rascally robber," said the,
Englishman, shaking his sword at him.
"It is a disgrace to us to have such,
allies. By the Lord, if the general were;
of my mind we would swing you up to
the nearest tree."
"But my prisoner?" said the brigand,
in his suave voice.
"He shall come with us to Lord Wel
lington's camp."
"Just a word in your ear before you
take him."
He approached the young officer, and
then, turning as quick as a flash, he
fired his pistol in my face. The bullet
scored its way through my hair and
burst a hole on each side of my busby.
Seeing that he had missed me, he raised
the pistol and was about to hurl it at
me, when the English sergeant, with a
single backhanded cut, nearly severed
his head from his body. His blood had
not reached the ground, nor the last
curse died on his lips, before the whole
horde were upon us, but with a dozen
bounds and as many slashes we were all
safely out of the glade, and galloping
down the winding track which led to
It was not until we had left the ra
vine far behind us and were right out
in the open fields that we ventured to
halt and to see what injuries we had
sustained. For me, weary and wound
ed as I was, my heart was beating
proudly and my chest was nearly burst
ing my tunic to think that I, Etienne
Gerard, had left this gang of murderers
so much by which to remember me.
My faith, they would think twice be
fore they ventured again to lay hands
upon one of the Third hussars. So car
ried away was I that I made a small
oration to these brave Englishmen and
told them who it was that they had
helped to rescue. I would have spoken
of glory also and of the sympathies of
brave men, but the officer cut me short.
"That's all right," said he, "any in
juries, sergeant?"
"Trooper Jones' horse hit with a
pistol bullet on the fetlock."
"Trooper Jones to g-o with us. Ser
geant llalliday with troopers Harvey
and Smith to keep to the right until
they touch the videttes of the German
So these three jingled away together,
while the officer and 1, followed at
some distance by the trooper whose
charger had been wounded, rode
straight down in the direction of the
English camp. Very soon we had
opened our hearts, for we each liked
the look of the other from the begin
ning. He was of the nobility, this brave
lad. and he had been sent out scouting
by Lord Wellington to see if there were
any signs of our advancing through the
mountains. It is one advantage of a
wandering life like mine, that you learn
to pick up those bits of knowledge
which distinguish the man of the world.
I have, for example, hardly ever met a
Frenchman who could repeat an Eng
lish title correctly. If I had not trav
eled I should not be able to say with
confidence that this young man's real
name was Milor Hon. Sir Russell
Bart, this last being an honorable dis
tinction, so that it was as the Bart that
I usually addressed him, just as in
Spanish one might say "the I)on."
As we rode beneath the moonlight in
the lovely Spanish night we spoke our
minds to each other, as if we were
brothers. We were both of an age, you
see, both of the light cavalry also (the
Sixteenth light dragoons was his
regiment) and both with the same
hopes and ambitions. Never have I
learned to know a man so quickly as I
did the Bart. He gave me the name of
a girl whom he had loved at a garden
called Vauxhall and for my part I
spoke to him of iittle Caralic of the
opera. He took a lock of hair from his
bosom, and I a garter. Then we near
ly quarreled over hussar and dragoon,
for lie was absurdly proud of his
regiment, and you should have seen him
curl his lip and clap his hand to his
hilt when I said that I hoped it might
never be its misfortune to come in the
way of the Third.
Swedish I'rovertM.
Mrs. Baker, in her "Pictures of Swed
ish Life," says that the Swedish lan
guage is rich in proverbs. Many of
these are exactly the same as are found
in English: "The burnt child dreads the
fire," and "Better late than never," for
instance. Others, while corresponding
to proverbs in English, have a turn
peculiar to themselves. The following
are a few examples:
"When the cat is away, the rats dance
on the table."
"One bird in the hand is better than
ten on the roof."
"When the stomach is satisfied, the
food is bitter."
"To read and not to know, Is to plow
and not to sow."
"That which is eaten from the pot
never comes to the platter."
"A new broom sweeps well, but an
old one is best for the corners."
The opinions of men who think are
always growing and changing, like lir
ing children. —Haincrton.
An Old Story anil One That la llrnnd
Three society girls sat in the newly dec
orated boudoir of the blue-eyed girl. The
brown-eyed girl remarked that she wished
some one would remind her to buy a tooth
brush the next time she went downtown.
Then she laughingly asked :
"Girls, what would you call a toothbrush
—one of the amenities of civilization?"
"I would call it a necessity," exclaimed
the blue eyed girl. "That reminds me,
girls," she continued, "of a story my Uncle
.lames used to tell. 1 always had my doubts
about this story of Uncle James', but I will
tell you what he said.
"lie was going from Boston to New York
One time on one of the new Sound steam
ers, and he shared his stateroom with a
strange man. When morning came, Uncle
James got up first, dressed, and went on
deck. Presently he came back to pack his
traveling bag. He remembered that he had
left his toothbrush on the rack. On looking
for it, he discovered his roommate using it
vigorously. Supposing that a mistake had
been made, he said:
" 'I beg your pardon, sir, but that is my
" 'lndeed,' said, 'you must ex
cuse me; I thought it belonged to the boat.' "
"Oh! oh! oh!" exclaimed the gray-eyed
girl, waving her hands frantically, "that is
the same story my Uncle Robert always
told. It didn't happen to either one of
them, of course."
"Of course not," assented the blue-eyed
girl, laughing. "We have caught both our
uncles in fibs now, haven't we?"
The brown-eyed girl looked at her frineds
in disgust.—St. Louis Republic.
And Then Proceeded to Display Iler
Immense Initenult.v.
At home stations the private soldiers'
washing is usually done l>y the married sol
diers' wives, who are expected to sew on
missing buttons and do repairs, for which
a small sum is deducted from the private's
Pat McGinnis had a good deal of trouble
with his laundress; Sunday after Sunday
had his shirt come back with the neck but
ton off, or else hanging by a thread. He
had spoken to her on the subject and she
had promised to see to it, but still the but
ton was not on properly.
He got out of patience one Sunday when
the missing button had made him late for
parade, and exclaimed:
"Bother the woman! I'll see if I can't
give her a hint this time, anyhow."
He then took the lid of a tin blacking box,
about three inches in diameter, drilled two
holes in it with a fork and sewed it onto the
neck of the shirt that was next to be
washed. When his washing came back he
found that she had taken the hint; she had
made a button hole to fit it.—Detroit Free
Arctic Eiploratlon.
Smith—Of late years arctic explorers
seem to have entered upon a race to see who
can reach the furthest point north.
Brown—Yes, and I guess the fellow who
hugs the pole will win the race.—N. Y.
An Old War-Horse of Journalism Dis
cover* the Vlrtne of a Sen
Medicinal Variety.
There are only a few of them left.
Since ('has. A. Dana's death, Joseph Me
diil, the war-horse of the Chicago Tribune,
is the chief surviving representative of the
old school of virile, aggressive editorial
To have mud thrown at them was part of
the profession at all times, but to find health
in mud is rather a modern innovation. That
is what Joseph Medill has been doing of
Mr. Medill is an investigator and when
the stories of the miraculous Magno-Mud at
Indiana Mineral Springs began to spread
over the country, the great editor became
interested and eventually decided to try this
mysterious substance on his own rheumatic
limbs and weigh its value. He was accom
panied by his private physician, a young
Armenian scientist of high attainments.
The great editor was mud-mummified daily
for several weeks and gained visibly in
iweight, strength and vitality.
The final result of the experiment was an
unqualified success. Mr. Medill went
back to Chicago in September, and wrote an
editorial about Magno-Mud with his own
hand. Next, he sent his son-in-law for a
little of the mud-treatment. In November
he went down again, and since the new
bath house is completed he expects to be a
regular visitor four times a year.
This mud-treatment in vYiich Mr. Medill
found so much virtue, is peculiar, yet logical.
After all, every form of life springs from the
earth, which is the great destroyer and assim
ilator of dead and effete matter. At the
Indiana Mineral Springs is a beautiful little
natural amphitheatre, the slopes being
grown with magnificent oaks. At the foot of
the converging bills, a big Lithia spring
gushes forth at the rate of 3,000 barrels a day
and floods the soil, which consists of a rich,
black porous loam, fed by the deciduous
foliage of the oak trees. This peculiar soil
saturated with mineral salts for ages, is as
soluble as sugar, and being devoid of clay is
not sticky in ( the least. It is not, therefore,
in any sense related to the conventional mud
of the road-way. of the Chicago street or to
the variety which clings to your heels.
The mud is applied to the patient on a cot.
the subject being entirely encased in the
sul»,tance, steamed to a proper temperature.
It then acts as a poultice, stimulates the
skin, superficial blood vessels and nerves,
opens the pores and lithiates the blood, dis
solving all uric acid deposits. Nothing can
be simpler or more rntinnal.
Wise men make feasts that fools may eat
and get tlie gout.— t bueugo Daily News.
We notice that an optician is not afraid
to take his own medicine. He alw ays wears
glasses.—Washingtoil Democrat.
Richard —"Tom is not so bad a chap, after
all. At least, there's nothing mean about
him." Robert —"Oh, get out! 'Richard—"l
mean it. He told me he had a supreme eon
tempt for the whole crowd. Now, isn't that
generous, when he really ought to keep it
for himself ?"—Boston Transcript.
# —.
Facilitated Transit.—"What, a bridge
across the Styx?" Charon, the former boat
man, winked significantly. "Bicycle," he
rejoined, with laconic brevity. "Good roads
movement, you know."—Detroit Journal.
Quite Likely.—Brown—"What would you
do if some one should leave you a hundred
thousand dollars?" Jones—"l suppose I'd
begin to realize how little a hundred thou
•and really is."—Truth.
"One great trouble wif folks," said Uncle
Ebcn, "is dat dey's li'ble ter mistake d«
smailes' speck on dab serenity foil de p'int
whah patience ceases tcr be a virtue.'*—
Washington Star.
Definition.—Tommy—"Paw, what sort of
a fighter is a 'cyclone fighter?' " Mr. Figg
—"I don't know much about fighters, but
I suppose he is one who goes blowing
around."—lndianapolis Journal.
Browne—"Did you ever see a man who
reaV.y wanted tfie earth?" Towne—"Oh,
yes. Browne—"Who was he?" Towne —
first-trip passenger on an ocean liner."—
Brooklyn Life.
"Mrs. Struckct affects the antique in her
house decorations —" " Yes, she told me the
other day she was heart-broken because she
couldn't get the shades of her ancestors for
her parlor windows."—Truth.
"Did Miss Flavilla seem pleased when you
asked her togo to the theater?" "Pleased!
She wanted to keep the tickets for fear
something might happen to me."—Chicago
A boy gets to the sweater age just the
■junc as he gets the measles or chicken pox.
—Washington Democrat.
Chronic Rheumatism.
From the Industrial News, Jackson. Mich
The subject of this sketch is fifty-six years
of_ age, and actively engaged in farming.
When seventeen years old he hurt his
shoulder and a few years after commenced
to have rheumatic pains in it. On taking a
slight cold or the Jeast strain, sometimes
without any apparent cause whatever, the
trouble would start and he would puffer the
most excruciating pains.
He sufTered for over thirty years, and the
last decade has suffered so much that he
was unable to do any work. To this the fre
quent occurrences of dizzy spells were added,
making him almost a helpleaa invalid.
He tried the best physicians but without
being benefited and has used several specific
rheumatic cures, but was not helped.
About one year and six months ago he read
in this paper of a case somewhat similar to
his which was cured by Dr. Williams' Pink
Pills and concluded to try this remedy.
After taking the first box he felt some
what better, and after using three boxes, the
pains entirely disappeared, the dizziness left
him, and he has now for over a year been
entirely free from all his former trouble and
enjoys better health than he has had since
his boyhood.
He is loud in his praise of Dr. Williams'
Pink Pills for Pale People arid will gladly
corroborate the above statements. His post
office address is Ixirenzo Neeley, Horton,
Jackson County, Michigan.
All the elements necessary to give new
life and richness to the blood and restore
shattered nerves are contained, in a con
densed form, in Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for
Pale People. All druggists sell them.
She Must Excuse Him.
The voung woman tried to be aristocratic
and did not look at the money she gave to
the conductor of the car; but he meekly
zave her back the lozenge on which was
stamped: "I'll never cease to love thee,"
and said he was an orphan with five little
brothers to support, and must be excused.—
Roxbury Gazette.
How*s Tli 1« 112
We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward
for any case of Catarrh that can not be
ured by Hall's Catarrh Cure.
F. J. Cheney & Co., Props.. Toledo, O.
We, the undersigned, have known F. J.
Cheney for the last 15 years, and believt
him perfectly honorable in all business
transactions and financially able to carrj
out any obligations made by their firm.
West & Truax, Wholesale Druggists, To
ledo, O.
Walding, Kinnan & Marvin, Wholesale
Druggists, Toledo, Ohio.
Hairs Catarrh Cure is taken internally
icting directly upon the blood and mucou;
surfaces of the system. Price 75c. per hot
tie. Sold by all Druggists. Testimonial
Hall's Family Pills are the best.
Knew Ills Ilusiness.
"My dear, why are you applauding that
piece.'" asked Mrs. Snaggs, in a tone of re
monstrance. "Don't you see no one els',
is applauding? It is beyond the performer')
ability and not worthy of applause."
"I Know that," roplied Mr. Snaggs, "but
we must app'aud pieces like that in ordei
to get something worth listening to in the
encore."—Pittsburgh Chronicle.
Give the Children a Drink
called Orain-O. It is a delicious, appetizing,
nourishing food drink to take the place of
coffee. Sold by all grocers and liked by all
who have used it because when properly
prepared it tastes like the finest coffee but
is free from all its injurious properties
Grain-0 aids digestion and strengthens the
nerves. It is not a stimulant but a health
builder, and children, as well as adults, can
drink it with great benefit. Costs about Jar.
much as coffee. 15 and 25c.
"Lemme un'stan'," said Mr. Erastus
Pinkly. "Is er locksmif er man dat knows
all 'bout how ter open all kin's er locks?"
"'Co's he is," replied Miss Miami Jones.
"Well I dunno how 'tis, but I sho'ly seen
"What did yoh done see?"
"Er locksmif down in de mahket a buyin'
'is chickens." —Washington Star.
To Care a Cold In One Day
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All
druggists refund money if it fails to cure. 25c.
Made worse by cold. Neuralgia Deeds
St. Jacobs Oil to cure. It cures.
The young onion is a very seductive veg
etable, but it invariably gives a man away.
—Chicago Daily News.
Fits stopped free ana permanently cured
No fits after first day's use of Dr. Kline's
Great Nerve Restorer. Free $2 trial bottle A
treatise. Dr. Kline. 033 Arch st., Phila., Pa.
When a man turns over a new leaf he is
never satisfied until he gets it blotted up
worse than the old one.
Piso's Cure for Consumption has saved me
many a doctor's bill.—S. F. Hardy, Hop
kins Place, Baltimore, Mo., Dec. 2, 1894.
Rome wasn't founded by Romeo; it was
•Tuliet who was found dead by him. —Chica-
-73 Daily News.
Pleasant, Wholesome, Speedy, for coughs
is Hale's Honey of Horehound and Tar.
Pike's Toothache Drops Cure in one minute.
He should have been dead.
But he wasn't, because
" There's nothing succeeds like •uccess."
There is no withstanding the living argu
ment of the man who should be dead, who
isn't dead, but who would be dead, but lor
a preserving medicine. That's about the
way it seemed to strike Editor Lawrence,
of the Ohio Farmer, Cleveland, Ohio. He
was afflicted with one of those colds that
have, thousands of times over, culminated
>ii consumption, when not promptly cured.
In this condition he met a friend, a con
sumptive, whom he had not expected to
see alive. The consumptive friend recom
mended Dr. J. C. Ayer's Cherry Pectoral
for the editor's cola, on the ground that it
had " helped him wonderfully." It helped
the editor just as wonderfully, giving
"almost instant reliel." But read his
"About two months ago. I was afflicted
with a bad cold, and, meeting a friend, he
advised the use of Ayer's Cherry Pectoral
whic'i, he claimed, had helped him won-
As he was a consumptive, whom
1 hau not expected to see alive for several
vears, I concluded there must be merit in
this preparation. I accordingly bought a
couple of bottles, one of which I keep on
my desk all the time. This is certainly
the best remedy for a cold 1 ever used. It
lives almost instant relief, and the J. C.
jr«i Co. are to be congratulated on posses
t'n Denver In I .rum Than 2M ll«gr>
Only One \l», lit tin Itoulr.—»"ri»#
Colorado Special."
Beginning Feb. 6th, a new tiain wmt
placed in service between Chicago am! Den
ver via the Chicago, Union Pacific &. Nortb-
Western Line, which will make the fastest
schedule ever maintained between Chicago
and Colorado's Capital City.
This train will be known as "The Colorado
Special" and will leave Chicago via the Chi
cago & North-Western R'y at 10:00 A. M.
eveiy day and reach Denver at 1:30 the fol
lowing afternoon. Kastbound, this train
will leave Denver daily at 3:30 I'. M.and
reach Chicago 8:45 the next evening. Con
nections will be made in the Union Depot
at Denver to and from trains of all the Colo
rado lines.
Train will be vestibuled throughout,
lighted with I'intsch gas, and will consist of
Drawing Room Sleeping Cars, Free Reclin
ing Chair Cars, Buffet, Smoking and Li
brary Cars, coaches and Dining Cars serving
all meals en route. A feature in connection
with the service of this train, which will be
appreciated by tourists, is that it will afford
an opportunity for a daylight ride through
the progressive and thickly settled portions
of Illinois and lowa, which has been im
possible heretofore, as all trains for Denver
nave left Chicago in the evenipg.
Daily service to Denver via The Pacific
Limited leaving Chicago 10:30 P. M. will
be continued.
>1 u t ii al.
Bank Clerk (scrutinizing check)— Madam,
we can't pay this unless you bring some on«
to identify you.
Old Lady (tartly)—l should like to know
"Because we don't know you."
"Now, don't be sill}-! J don't know yo«*,
Pre*. MeKlnley Vs. Kree Silver.
A battle of giants is going to take place
this summer on 30,000 farms in America, not
in talk or votes, but in yields. Salzer's new
potato marvels are named as above, and he
offers a price for the biggest potato yield
also S4OO in gold for suitable name for his
corn (17 inches long) and oat prodigies. Only
seedsmen in America growing glasses,
clovers and farm seeds and selling potatoes
at $1.50 a barrel. The editor urges you tc
try .Salzer's Northern-grown seeds, and to
to John A. Salzer Seed Co., LaCrosse, Wis ,
for 11 new farm seed samples, worth SIO.OO,
to get a start, and their big catalogue. k 3
Slie 'Was Rattled.
A young girl, an ardent admirer of Mme.
Melba, at a reception given for the latter,
was so completely overcome when it came
her turn to have a word with the prima
donna, that, blushing crimson and looking
up with a sweet smile, she murmured:
"You sing, I believe?" —Philadelphia Pub
lic Ledger.
Did yon make your bruin-O tlila way 1
Here are the latest directions: Use OIK
teaspooriful of Grain-O to two cups of cold
water. Mix the Grain-O with half an egg
and add the water. (Be sure to measure.)
After the water gets to the boiling poiDt
let boil for fifteen to twenty minutes. Use
cream and sugar to suit the taste. If you
have not cream use hot milk.
A lady said: "The first time I drank
Grain-O I did not like it, but after using it
for ten days and forming the habit, nothing
would induce me togo back to coffee." Thi»
s the experience of all. If you will follow
directions, measure it every time and make
it the same, and try it for ten days, you will
not go back to coffee.
A Sweet One,
Sam .Tohnsing—Yas, sail, niv gal's a hig!»-
bolm leddy foil shuah! She is de cream ob
sassiety, she is!
Ben Toinkins—She is, hoh? Sort ob e
chocolate cream, I guess.—Puck.
Map I'uzzle Udnrator,
Sent out by the Chicago Great Western
Railway, is a dissected map of the United
States printed on heavy cardboard and the
puzzle consists in putting the pieces together
so as to form the complete map. It will be
found interesting and instructive to old
and young. Send ten cents to Puzzle Dept.,.
Chicago (ireat Western liy., Quincy Build
ing, Chicago, 111.
If a noisy baby has a real pretty mother, •
crowd will forgive it a good deal quicker.-
Washington Democrat.
Contshlnt( I.cads to Consumption.
Kemp's Balsam will stop the cough at
once. Goto your druggist to-day and get »
sample bottle free. Large bottles, 50 ccnte
and SI.OO. Go at once ; delays are dangerous.
Lots of very shiftless people get up early.
—Washington Democrat.
Swift uit an Arrow.
Hoxsie's C. C. C. permeates the delicate
tissues of the lungs, and removes every tracs
of cold, cough or croup. 50 cents.
Nobody uses over about six adjectives.—
Washington Democrat.
Lane's Family Medicine.
Moves the bowels each day. In order tc
be healthy this is necessary. Acts gently on
the liver and kidneys. Cures sick headach*.
Price 25 and 50c.
The coat may not make the man, but law
suits make attorneys.—Chicago Daily News.
Bad feet from trout-bites are made sound
By St. Jacobs Oil. It cures.
Lots of people mistake a loud noise fo*
ability to sing.—Washington Democrat.
Any ache, from toothache to backache
St. Jacobs Oil will cure.
Everybody has some pet adjective.-
Washington Democrat.
The pain of sciatica is cruel. The cure by
St. Jacobs Oil is sure. It penetrates.
I There is only one sudden death among
women to every eight among men.
Slipped and fell; bad sprain. Neva*
Mind. St. Jacobs Oil will cure it.
" sing the formula for such a veiy valuable
I- remedy."— \V. H. LAWRENCE, Kditor, The.
0 Ohio l armci, Cleveland, Ohio,
? Keep a bott.'e of Dr. Ayer's Cherry Pee
c toral handy, o 1 the desk, iu the office, on
t the shelf or in the closet at home, and you
rj will have at hjud a remedy that is capable
1 at any time of saving you suffering, money,
i. and even life. There is no malady so
0 prolific of evil results as a neglected cold.
_ There is no medicine so promptly effective
1 in curing a cold and eradicating
t its effects, as Dr. Ayer's Cherry Pectoral,
j Every traveller should carry it. Kvery
112 household should keep it. It cures every
s variety of cough, and all forms of lur.g;
and throat trouble. Asthma, bronchitis*
croup, and whooping cough, are promptly
I cured by it, and it has in many cases over
? come pulmonary diseases in aggravated!
I forms, when all other remedies failed tc
help and physicians gave no hope of cure
i Those who tor convenience have wanted r>
I smaller sired bottle of Dr. Ayer's Cherry
i Pectoral, can now obtain it of their dealer
i in half size bottles, at half price—50 cents.
1 Send for Dr. Ayer's Curebook, and read
112 more of the cures effected by this remedy,
t The nook contains 100 pages, and is sent
. free, on request, by tbc J. C Ayer Co.,
- Lowell, Mubi.