WM nil .;m nil ng
A Yicomte's
vagary
A
jd mi- im mi mi
The little Vlcomte de Danville In
Ills younger days made no snnll pro
teiusions to being a "bu1 dog." He par
ticularly enjoyed flirtations, which Is
not to he wondered at; but he prefer
red them complicated, which, to my
mind, is n mistake. In love, In
cookery, the slmple.-t Is the bet, and,
n urcover, does not pall po quickly.
Me was forever (Iron mini; of in
trisues, diseulKes, and niyste:ic-:. If
he had had the task of reconstructing
the old leKcnds, he would have m:ide
Romeo scale Juliet's balcony as n
te''Wnph line repairer.
Oik day after a luncheon- which
would have been a dinner if t'.ie sun
liad not still been up, so ntmii rh;rn
pairne had he consumed at it--C!r.s!on
de ranville.laid a wager that before
'lx o'clock that evoniiiR it was then
ner.rly four-he would return v'th at
least three francs collected by sins'tiK
in the streets.
Twenty minutes later, an u;i';ei-pt,
tattered, and pent-rally ssr-'picous-ln.)';-ins
individual emerrr-d fro n the fa
mous rest-iurant where the p;u iy !"i.l
bet-a dluing, and ploppf.1 at a !.";.
'house in an ndjatn-.t sl-.-rr-t. I: v i;
tip -ton, who lac-UeJ ucOiInx fir 1:!?
role of street-singer. An li.ru- li'er.
his companions be'crld Mm r-. (t 'ei
the room whore tl.f.v wo r.
him with the hest jmiienee i:i I t
"There you are," lie nti:io;"r.---.-1.
to -sin on tho table a lonls nrl r.
voluminous park?.s. "I have vor
my bet, and start! a flr th'iu-e oi
vrinnirg: a very pret'y little vrnr-."
''Jn so f!;ort a time!"' they r'c.
'Rut what Is the trophy? -the h-.'.s-ba-H1.':'
V.enfr?"
"No." said Caston. "only hs trous
ers', nut I can say no move, the tale
Involves the honor of a lady of hi&h
decree. "
Jn vain did his friends endeavor to
extract anything more from him. T'p
sy as he was, the hero of the afer
noon's adventure was dumb as an
oyster. Loss dlseret than he, I shall
recount bis adventures.
When De Tianville entered the court
of No. 75, Rue Duphot, the Barcine
de Pompinet was leaning out of a win
dow, watching the movements of her
pet fox-terrier, which was playing In
the court. Evidently the dog had no
ear for music, for no sooner did the
pretended beggar open his mouth to
sing at the same time, from force of
habit, directing an admiring glance
at the fair lady before him than
Punch trotted up to him, and, on a
hostile demonstration from the singer,
flew at the latter and planted hla
teeth In an undefended portion of his
anptomy.
The baroness uttered a shriek, and
Gaston, foreseeing his inability to
collect the stipulated sum, and his
consequent loss of the bet, was de
parting, furious, to repair his ward
robe, when a trim little maid came
running after him.
"Here," she said, slipping a frame
Into his hand; "here is something the
baroness sends you. Is It enough?"
"Knough!" cried De Banville, with
a disgust that was not all stimulated,
"why, my pants Is all tore, to say
nothing of my wounds!"
"Well, you can come and settle the
matter with my mistress, It would be
better than going to the police."
Miss Annette could have added that
her mistress had already been defend
ant in a dozen suits for assaults of
this kind committed by Punch, and
had lost every one of them.
walf an hour later, Gaston took
leave of the baroness, bearing away,
beF.ide his twenty francs, a collect .on
of del'cious smiles, a worn pair of the
biron's troupers in place of his own,
which had suffered heavy losses In
the encounter with the dog, and even
a letter of credit on the druggist at
the corner. But the pretended bes?
p,:ir had no need of liniments p.nd
salves, for Punch, for once In his
life, bad leaped too short and Gaston's
l-.ide was whcle. '
As he was going down the servants'
r.tairway, the pretended Invalid gal
hintly saluted Mile. Annette on her
blooming cheek. The girl did not get
anhry, for the viftount was not so
badly grimed that he was not still a
good-looking young fellow.
"What do you n:ean, sir??" she
cried; "are you crazy?"
"Yea," replied Punch's victim;
''your dog has given me hydrophobia,
and that's the way I bite,"
But De Banville was revolving In
hla brain a machiavellian scheme di
rected against the peace of the baro
ness, who pleased him prodigiously.
That Very evening he sent her anony
mously a hfjhdsome bouquet. The next
day ho appeared beneath her window
Bgaln, wearing the baron's trousers, a
particularly delicate attention. Mine.
de Pompinet appeared again, and be
slowed on him a franc and a smile,
on which latter he set a very high val
uation. The following day, another
smile and another piece of money, but
In an envelope this time, and with a
note. The affair was becoming Inter
esting. Scarcely had Gaston got out
Into the street, when he tore the note
open.
"At ubout four o'clock (it ran), go
to No. 82, Rue du Cirque, and sing an
air from 'The Huguenots.' You will
bo repaid for your trouble,"
"Well, well," thought the viscount,
"if I pleaaa hor in these astroctoua
trigs, what will ulie bay when she sees
me in all the splendor of my own ap
purel? What extraordinary creative
these blase women of society are! But
why does she send me to the Rue du
Cirque? She will be there, doubtless,
concealed behind some friend's cur
tali. s. Well, we shall see.''
Promptly at four, Gaston was at the
appointed place, singing:
"Plu biancB del velo."
Hut he saw nothing unitminl and
went away at last with two sous giv
en him by a little girl.
The following day the baroness
again sent him to the Rue du Cirque,
but this time It was "Faust" that he
must slug. You should have seen tho
feeling with which I)i Banville sang:
"Salve dlmora casta et pura."
But again nothing untoward hap
pened. Still, Instead of hU lover-like
Impatience, his pride as an artist was
satisfied. He bore away with him n
collection of fourteen sous.
It was now time to take n decisive
step. That evening, In his offering of
flowers - the fourth the baroneiu
found the following note, unsigned
and in an unknown hand:
"It is an admirable trait to love
music, but the artists themnelves de
serve encouragement, lio you not
think that the duo from Taust' is
worthy of being suns; in pome more
private plnee than a court?"
1:3 Hhe rend tlico line;', the J OT
Baroness de Pnmpinet almost f.ilnicd.
"Great heavens;" she cried, "ci.uc
one knows my secret. I am !o;:
Slip (I'd not close her eyes th.U t -v.-tire
n!i;Iit.
,hlle the bnrone:--3 was rump'ina
the la co of her pillow under her
easy little blonde head, Gaston, in 'lu
su-okins-rooin of his club, hr.d j .!-,!
er.di-d the recital of the events n -r
rat'.il, keeping to himreif, o conr.-e
the names of streets and ev.-ons.
"And v. hat are jou r.oinz to ic
!M)v;?" he was nsi-d; "for jivi : i : . '
il.) rot In'.irul to keep up your v:ca
eat role forever."
' What nm I jriS f1 do? To-wr-row
the stree; s:a;;er will ;;ive w.i..- tc
the man of the world. You cr.n in.ng
;:ic the rlupc rfar tlon of the l 'iy
when I pny to her: 'I still come to
be of you. But I nm rot n n-crcen i; v
bi r, and I prefi r tho jrii't of : 'ii
smiles." Iih, boys, what a
th: t will mnV!"
' What new Joke in Canton t-".'n';
you?'1 asked the Marquis do I'ies:in.
who entered the room just then.
'Oh, nothing much," mid ('in,.n.
nonchalantly, "jut a litle adventure-
of mine. I was amusing them with fie
tricks of a woman."
"Faith, In the matter of tricks, p"n
need not try to rival women. Just
listen to this: A charmlnf? friend o.r
mine has a most undependablo hus
band, you can never tell whether he
Is coing to go out or to stry at ho le.
Now, can you guess what she has de
vised to keep me posted on the pro
gramme of the day? Why, she hires
a poor beggar of a street-singer to
come and sing before my house. We
hav a code agreed upon beforehand.
Each opera has a special significance.
'The Huguenots' means 'I am waiting
for you.' 'Faust' Is 'Not to-day.' 'Wil
liam Tell' is 'I shall be in tho Bols.
And so on. It Is a great scheme."
The shout of laughter that greeted
this recital could be heard four
squares away. Gaston alone did not
Join in it. Translated for the Ar
gonaut from the French of Leon do
Tinseau.
An Unappreciated Gift.
It Is rude to look a gift-horse In the
mouth but It Is also wise for the giv
er to inquire what sort of a horse
would be most welcome. A writer In
Tit-Bits reports a happening In the
?erkiii3 family bearing on this point.
When old Mr. Perkins left the ho :se
in which he had lived for forty years,
n.nd arrived with all his household
"i'ooiis and ti ensures at the home of
lis son, there was trouble.
Or.o of his most treasured family
u I-'.oains was nilsshiB a big far My
iiii.-m bound in full calf. Mr. Peri ns
.-.'. o inconf-olate. "I've used It regular
or years.' he said, "and I would a't
lave lost it for worlds."
"Never mind," said his son, "we'll
ee what can be done about it."
A litt'.e later he appeared with n
lew album, beiuti fully bound In cr'rn
on plush, with great brass clasps,
.vh'cli he prepensed to his father.
On teeing it, the old man's jaw Tell
o rn alarming decree. He bang?d his
.v'Cu.icd fist on the table with fove.
"In the name of goodness," he said,
'who could strop a razor on that?"
A Burdened Msn.
A certain small boy in grade num
ber ai-i was rapidly assuming manly
w.ys. Not long ago, say3 a writer in
the Cleveland Plain Dealer, there was
to he an entertainment at his schcol.
Songs, recitations and a grab-bag
were the principal features. The
small boy waxed eloquent of the com
ing glories of this show, and more
especially of the part he was to take.
On the morning of the entertain
iif it his mother suggested that he
sh..ld take his little sister, about four
years old, with him. He hung his
head.
"Don't you want to take her?" his
mother asked.
"No, I don't," he answered.
"Why not?"
" 'Cause there ain't none of the oth
er fellers has to bring their children,"
was the reply.
It Would Not Show.
That everything should be neat and
shipshape is most important aboard
a yucht. A writer in the Mariner's
Advocato tells the story of tho captain
of a certain sloop, who crossed the
deck in a hurry, seemingly very much
perplexed. A lady stopped him and
asked what the trouble was.
"The fact Is, ma'am," he said, "our
rudder's broken."
"Oh, I shouldn't worry about that,"
said the lady, "Being under water
nearly all the time, no one will notice
U."
THE COLUMBIAN,
PI
In 1837 Titus & Angevine Con
ceived Idea of Amalgamation.
AND THEN P. T. BARNUM
The Clever Showman ThougK It
Could be Done The Tent Show
Business Controlled by a Few Men.
Forepaugh a Tireless Fighter.
On the eve of the unforsecn panic of
1S37, June, Titus & Angevine, of tho
powerful and wealthy combine or
"Klalfoots," conceived the Idea of am
algamating the interests of those en
gaged in tho circus and menagerie
business and tho Impo' tation of wild
beasts into one gigantic monopoly to
ho known as the (iolo.Kh',-,1 Institute
Considerable progress was innd-i '
the alarm of ninnngeis, who dcsltid
to preserve their individuality, v.lirn
tho financial crash of the tv U;ry
thwarted their scheme.
It was decades after this wcll-uisU
successful attempt at eontiali'.itimi,
before Phincas Taylor llarnmi i a no
to believe that tho tent chow 'nisir.esa
could be controlled by a fey vr.,
with himself at the head. Th'-i opin
ion was strengthened by the. Immeoi
ate unparalleled success of the I'. T.
Barnuni Show under the dirc.-'ioua '".t
William C. Coup.
Adam Korepaush, was at f11 h.'ntl
of a large show and his fle'd was,
nfter leaving Philadelphia, the terri
tory went of Pittsburg and Buifalo.
Ho had touched the Kast and piid fo."
his experience, snipping bin wholi
outfit out of Yankeedom i-.a fast nr.
a special train could carry him. In
IST'.t he again tempted fate down liast
v,l(h unsatisfactory results, but later
on he conquered the land of the rising
sun and by tours of tho extreme West
the Pacific Coast and the .South, ac
quired a national reputation nnd be
came the only admitted rival of P.
T. Barnum.
"Old" John Robinson "owned the
South" as Barnum and Coi:;i learned
to their cost.
Then there entered the Amcrl-.an
sawdust arena, a new gladiator with
his fighting clothes on In the person
of James A. Bailey, backed by his
former employer an" later associate,
James E. Cooper. Bailey was a Whirl
wind warrior and hit a nianagerltl
head wherever he saw one, and went
after P. T. Barnum and Adam oro
paugh as fearlessly 83 he did t'ie
small fry.
Cooper was a man of considerable
financial resources, and Bailey, in
18S1, planned the purchase of tho
Forepaugh and Coup shows, which
added to the London, would have
made Cooper and Bailey a power on
the rond. The Coup shov; was in
straits but the Forepaugh :how nna
already cleared for the season three
times as much money as its wouid-bo
purchaser offered for tlie entire fabric.
Adam Forepaugh only lanc'-cd at tho
inadequate proposition.
Bailey now looked hopefully to an
alliance with P. T. Barnum as a
stepping ston? to his heart's desire.
Bailey assumed the Barnum manage
ment nnd the personal direction of all
the advertising, and he just made ev
erything hum and the weaklings stand
from under, or take to the woods.
P. T. Barnum and James A. Bailey
both underrated Adam Forepaugh who
wn3 a diamond In the rough without
graces or culture, but an ubum'ance
of common sense.
One spring P. T. Barnum came out
In one of the official publications of
the show in a personal card, the like
of which he wns so skilled in Inditing
and boldly called on the dear public
to support the Barnum show and the
Barnum show alone. With the clever
argument that if he received all the
patronage, he would be the better
equipped to supply all the arenic am
usements, Mr. Barnum was speaking
for himself and the "equal owner"
who probably endorsed the sentiment.
When Adam Forepaugh read this
proposition he exploded verbally and
emphatically, and he said: "Barnum
and Bailey or no one else In the busi
ness can ever monopolize It."
Barnum & Bailey, in their attempt
to corner the business, nh:o set out
to secure the brains In the circus call
ing. Their staff was made up of the
very beBt of talent but when they
were all assembled there Btill remain
ed men of capacity and Intellect in the
employ of pugnacious and hectoring
rivals fully able to contend against an
nihilation. In England, after the death of Mr.
Barnum and Mr. Bailey's sole succes
sion, the result was quite different
than here. In that "tight little Isle"
the Barnum & Bailey show crushed
all opposition out of existence and
lastingly ruined the circus business ia
Oreat Britain.
No "Mountain High" Waves
When writers speak of waves
"mountain high" they are merely In
dulging In poetic extravagance. A
wave exceeding 30 feet in height Is
seldom encountered. Some have been
seen on tho Atlantic that reached a
height of 44 to 48 feet, but that waa
entirely exceptional,
Hugglna That pretty little sculpt
ress I met at your reception the other
evening completely turned my head.
Mlsa Peachley Indeed! I knew
she modeled in clay, but I wasn't
tware that she worked la wood.
VIS II II 10
BL00MS3UR0. PA
FOOMXO Till: C'OM.KCTOUS.
Rutting n House With 1'iike Antique
a Trick Worked In Knxlnnil.
Evidently America Is not the only
fools' pnrndlse where the hoodwink
ing of collectors of antiquities Is a
profitable business. Here Is a scheme
which, according to the Grand Maza
rine, is true in all Its details and Is
prnctlced In London:
trft the reader Imagine ho Is lis
tening to the end of an earnest con
versation between a dealer of world
wide reputation and one of the hit
ter's most Important customers, a
man whose bottomless p:irse Is the
lodestar of nil swlndlcdom. The vis
itor complains that nothing really
fine Is to be picked up nowadays.
When he thinks he Ikib nt length dis
covered some ancient piece of furni
ture In on oul-oi'-the-way farmhouse,
he Is sure to learn nt the hut mo
ment that it Is not authentic and
has merely been planted there by
some cunnlnii roguo of Wardour
street or the Hue dos I-'auKsaircn.
"Ah," replies the dealer, looking
very sag!, "I know at leas' one place
where then1 are still i.ome perf'-ct
treasurer: It's an ohl Elizabethan
mansion in Slunibeilu.'j.-lilre, but the
owner, an unmarried lady, nearly
seventy, though she has barely
enough to live upon, absolutely re
fuses to sell a mii;.,!o article. Slio
won't even allow a stranger to enter
the house. 1 manared to gt t In by a
trick once, and I assure you I was
almost dumbfounded at what I saw.
The whole place Is in identically the
same state it. was 200 years bio."
Tho hook Is now baited, but tho
dealer, who knows his Juan, allows
several days to elapse. Then he
sends a telegram:
"Just learned that the old lady
will be absent from home for a d. Iv
or two; can bribe servants to show
house."
Tho placo Is some distance from
London; no matter, off tho pair go,
only to find on arrival at their des
tination that by nomo fatality the
owner of the house has not gone
away after nil, so that the Inspection
must perforce bn put off. Naturally
the collector, if he Is worth his salt,
knows no rest now until another op
portunity to soo thy treasures pre
sents Itself.
Hla desire Is finally gratified, and
Jn company with his "disinterested"
cicerone he Is allowed to run hastily
through a few rooms filled with
dusty old furniture piled up in pic
turesque confusion. He U not per
mitted to make a close Inspection m
der pretext that the old lady may re
turn at any moment and that he will
find It difficult to explain his pres
ence. "What a terrible pity," sigh both
men simultaneously as they hurry
away, "that such admirable speci
mens should remain here in the
dust!"
A month, perhaps two months
pass; then one morning the dealer
rushes In breathlessly to his custo
mer's presence.
"You remember the old lady?"
"Yes, what about her?"
"She Is absolutely compelled at
last to raise some rendy money, nnd
has consented to sell me some of her
most precious historical relics."
"By Jove, what luck! Buy every
thing you can for mo. I must have
those things, whatever they cost."
What the confiding millionaire did
not know though he assuredly sus
pects something of tho kind now is
that the Elizabethan mansion was
rented by the dealer; that ull It con
tained was the same person's prop
erty, and that both the carefully
trained servants and the "old lady"
herself were In lils pay.
The Largest Steam Whistle.
East St. Lo.ils has the biggest
steam whistle la the world, says the
St. Louis Post-Dlsputeh. It is a re
markable triple, machine with three
voices a three-chime whistler,
whose capacity for the nnnlhilatlon
of peace Is extraordinary. This whis
tle blows a ten milo blast nt half
steam, and with favorabla wind has
a disturbing power of twenty miles.
It costs a dollar every time it la
blown.
But this great whlatle Is not all
noise. It is an idea in economy, a
whistle trust, a noise combine. Al
most all the little noises, yelps, toots
and whines of smaller mechanical
throats In East St. I.oais are now
dumb. The giant whistle trust whis
tles for them. The independent
whistles have to whistle offtime tc
bo heard.
Within the range of this whistle
are said to be 100,000 perrons who
tell time by it.
The greatest modern siren com
prises three whistles. The largest is
almost six feet in height, und nearly
as big around as a roan. On each
side of tho main one 13 a smaller
whistle. Tho three units comblno to
make one noise, with which even Ba
banne, miles away, across the Mis
sissippi river, In the west end of St.
Louis, is well acquainted.
This big triple whistler was also
set up at a railway company's elec
trical generating station "ns a feat
ure." It Is connected with an electric
clock, which Is regulated by the
government standard time sent out
from Washington on the dropping cf
a ball at exactly noon each day.
The electric clock which connects
with the whistle is guaranteed not to
vary five teconds in time a year, and
tho clock's record to date is satisfac
tory. AlmoBt every man looks nt his
watch when the first blast Is sound
ed by the big whistle ut 7 o'clock In
the morning. Almost every house
wife In East St. Louis glances at her
mantel timepiece when the siren
wooes uoon the second blast of the
day. The third blast Is an hoar later,
and the last Is at 6 In tho evening.
Tho Kind Yon Have Always
In mo for over 30 years,
ana was uccn ntauo unuor his pcr.
7?" fonal supervision slnco Its Infancy.
-CSsCcAtt: Allow no ono to dcoclvo you in this.
AU Counterfeits, Imitations nnd Juntas-good" are l.iifc
Experiments that trlllo with and endanger tho health of
Infants nnd Children Experience against Experiment.
What is CASTORIA
Castoria Is a harmless nuhsllluto for Castor Oil, Paro
gorie, Drops and Soothing Syrups. It Is Pleasant. U
contains neither Opium, Morphine nor other Narcotic.
Mihstaucc. Its ago Is Its guarantee. It destroys "Worms
nnd allays Fcverlshness. It cures Diarrhoea and Wind
Colic. It relieves Teething Troubles, cures Constipation
nnd Flatulency. It assimilates tho Food, regulates tho
Stomach and Dowels, giving healthy nnd natural sleep,
Tho Children's Panacea Tho Mother's Friend.
GENUINE CASTORIA ALWAYS
Bears tho
The KM You Have Always Bought
In Use For Over 30 Years.
' Twt em-nun coanm, ?
BSQ OFFE
To All Our
The Great
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