2
THE COLUMBIAN, BLOOMSBURO. PA.
His Vacation j
A little group of men stood In front
of the booth whore, vlnltoru to tho
summer amusement park, throw bulla
lit a row of grotesque dolls.
A big fellow with a hoarse voice
and a very red face' was disputing
with the proprietor.
"I gave you a dime." he snnrlcd.
"It wasn't a nickel. It was n dime."
The proprietor of the booth, a r.i'.d
little man with weak blue eyes, shook
Ills head.
"I haven't taken in a dime to-day,"
he said. "Here's my bank." And he
pushed an open clear box toward tho
big fellow.
"1 don't care anything nbout your
bank," the big follow cried. "I te'.l
you I give you a dime. I've had my
thr-e shots now gimme my chnnrre."
Tho little man looked about des
pairingly. No park polictman was in
sight. The crowd was growing larger.
"You give me a nickel,' said tho
little man, "but I dont' want any
fus-."
The big man snorted.
"Do you mean to say I'm a liar?"
he demanded.
"That's what you are." came a
voiie from the rear of the crowd.
The big man whirled around.
"Who said that?" he roared.
"I did," the voice replied.
The hs man straightened v.p on tip
toe. "Where are you?" he cried.
"Here." replied the voice. It
sounded from the left of the crowd,
which had now grown to considerable
proportions.
"l.emme git at him:" roarod the big
man.
And he pushed into the group.
"Look out where you're goiir;,"
cautioned a stout man as he thrust
an elbow Into the fellow's side.
"I'asy there," snapped n little man.
You're on my feet." And he kicked
the big fellow viciously.
In an Instant the sentiment of the
group changed. The loungers bad en
Joyed seeing the little proprietor
baited by the. red faced man. Now It
turned against the bully. It pushed
and buffeted him and when he was
clear of it he had lost all desire to
find the man who had impeached his
veracity. As for the latter, he seemed
to have melted into the air.
The crowd broke up with the de
parture of the bully, and In a mo
ment or two there was no one left in
front of the booth save a boy.
He was a boy perhaps nineteen, a
clear eyed lad with a sunburnt skin
and dark curly hair. He was neatly
dressed, but his clothe3 were old fash
ioned In cut, and he wore a broad
brimmed straw hat that had seen
other summers.
The boy looked up at the little pro
prietor. "Bad man," he said.
The proprietor nodded.
"Yep. He was out for trouble all
right. That was a big bluff, of course,
but what could I do? I couldn't af
ford to have any trouble with him.
Business Is bad enough as It Is."
lie sighed as he spoke.
The boy looked at him curiously.
"Bad season, eh?"
"Worst I ever knew. An' I've had
some pretty tough ones." His eye
wandered over the grounds. "There's
that loafer, now. He's having a fuss
over there at the chutes. He'd bet
ter not fool with those fellows. They'll
drop him In the pond." He softly
chuckled. "I wonder who 'twas called
him a liar?"
"I did," said the boy.
"You! Why, you wasn't even loo!:
In' at him."
The boy laughed.
"Guess I hadn't the courage to looli
at him when I said it."
"But the voice came from ovei
there," persisted the proprietor.
"It was my voice." The boy s-'id
donly stooped as if to pick somctlrn.'
from the ground. As he did so a 'os
snarled and barked nt the proprietor's
heels.
"Oct out!" the little man shouted
as he quickly looked around and lo!
there wwa no dog there. He turned
to the Woy. "Did you do that?"
"Yes."
The little proprietor pushed tht
balls toward him.
"As many shots as you like," h
said.
"Thank you," said the boy. "Nol
now. Business Is bad, eh? Want a
partner?"
"There alnt' a livln' in it for one
let alone two."
"But suppose a partner could build
it up and put it on a paying basis?"
"That's the kind o' partner I want."
The boy nodded.
"I'm looking 'round," he said.
"You've noticed I'm from the country.
1 had a chance to go on a farm after
I finished school, but I thought Td
rather go up to the city and see if I
couldn't find some sort of opening. I
don't want anything permanent Just
yet I've got too much to learn. At
the same time, I've got to get a living.
Maybe you'd better take me on a sal
ary for a spell. I donf want to tie up
for long. Walt. You needn't give me
a cent if I don't put your business
here on a fair paying basis. When
I do I want a reasonable share of the
profits. What do you say?"
The little man stared at him.
"You beat anything I ever saw," ho
said. "Where did you learn that ven
trlloqulal business?"
The boy laughed.
"Out In the woods," he answered.
"I was cutting wood last fall, and,
being alone, I fell to trying tricks with
my voice. Pretty soon 1 found I
could talk to myself In quite u so
ciable fashion."
"I'll give you a Job right away i-.t
the terms ynu mention." said the lit
tie proprietor. "What do you propone
to do to help the business?"
"I propose to look around the park
first of all," the boy replied. I'll come
back again a little later."
"You'll be sure to come?"
"I'll come," said tho boy as he
turned and walked nway.
He put his hand In his trousers
pocket and Jingled a few coins. His
finances were getting low. At the
same time ho realized that ho was
hungry.
He stepped into the restaurant near
the big gates anil sought a seat nt one
of the small tables. A waiter took
his simple order and while ho wus
gone the boy studied his surround
ings. He w;is Interrupted by the re
turn of his order and by tho appear
ance of a tall man who took a Kent
opposite to him. The boy looked at
the man. He was slender and a little
pray--a man close to forty. He had
sharp eyes r-rd a firm mouth, and the
sharp eyes were now bent on some
slips of paper that he scanned pencil
in h:v!!l.
lie looked up suddenly and caught
the boy':! curio-.!-! glance.
"Bad thing to bring your business
to the table with .vim," he f;iU1 with
a ouick smile. "You must never let
i In, thought of money lntnule upon
ym",' dii !."
"Wouldn't tl:,' present price of beef
ex'-ii.e it?" drawled the boy.
"Coo.l." said the tall man. "First
tin e here?"
"Yes. I'm enjoying my first sum
vacation." "How do vo:i like it?"
"1 '. "o,..
Tne tan man r::ii!ed.
"Hop any chance of Improving tho
place?"
"1 see a chance of adding to the
attraction:-'."
"i:ii! lVrhapi. you'll kindly en
lighten tr.e."
"I'd run a r.:oi:orall line acroa the
entire plana."
The tall man stared at the boy.
'A mot or i il line! May I ask what
you know about monorails?"
"I knew something." replied the
boy with a quick laugh. "We have
an old Inventor down at our village,
and what he doesn't know about me
chanics old principles and new
Isn't worth knowing. But he hasn't
the ambition to carry out any of bis
own schemes. He's Just contented to
be the village gunsmith. We are
great friends and I've spent a good
many Saturdays In his old shop.
That's where I found out about mon
orails." The keen gray eyes were studying
the boy.
"Would your car be on the princi
ple of tho Englishman's invention
the gyroscope idea?"
"No," replied the boy. "I would
use a narrow car seating four people.
I would balance it on the rail by four
twenty-foot steel rods, depending on
either side and weighted at the lower
ends. I would have it run by grav'ty.
When It reached the opposite side I
would have It hoisted by an elevator
and srnt back on another rail. It
would be safe, speedy and a grnt
curiosity."
"When did this scheme occur to
you my boy?" tho tall man asked.
"Five minutes ago. I picked out
the locations for the two platform"."
"Oh, you have. What are you go-'ng
to do this afternoon?"
The boy laughed. ,
' I've got an engagement, to pi- a
man's business ou a sound financial
basis."
"F.h. Who Is the man?"
"lie's tho man who runs tho booth
with tho dolls that you throw at."
"Oh, yes. Old Tommy Carter.
Tommy's In hard luck. And you're
going to help him out?"
"lie has my promise."
"Good. But you mustn't make any
further ongr.g.jiuonts without consult
ing me? Wait. I'm John Temple, en
gineer and showman. I'eoplo usually
call me Colonel John Temple. I'm
of.o of the owner.-! of this and n lrnlf
doen other parks. That's why I
don't want you to be running about
wild with that monorail idea."
"My name Is James Harrison," raid
the boy. "Where I'm known they call
me Jim."
The tall man laughed and put out
his hand.
"Glad to know you, Jim," he said.
"Here's to our better acquaintance."
He looked at his watch. "When can
I seo yon again, my boy?"
"Will you be In tho park this even
ing?" "Yes."
"You'll find me at Tommy Carter's
booth.'
"Goodby, boy,"
"Goodby, colonel."
The attendance was large in the
park that evening. And those who
strolled near the Carter booth no
ticed that the little proprietor had
labelled his dolls.
There were only five of them now,
and above the quintet stretched a
placard which announced in large let
ters that they were the Original
Gooseberry Family. There were "Pa
Gooseberry" and "Ma Gooseberry"
and "Little Willie," and "Sister Sue"
and "Aunt Jane."
Tommy Carter's weak eyes almost
tparkled ns lie chanted the merits of
nis show.
"Right thU way." he called, "An"
take a whack at the only original
3ooseberry family. Three throws for
1 nickel an' three elegant cigars for
i hit. You cant' miss 'em. Three
thiows for a nickel. There's Sister
Sue and Auut Jane, too. You can't
iiisu 'nut." And he turned around
md T.::;'.:oJ at Jim Harrison, who was
standing hack ready ready to gather
up the balls.
His voice was so cheery that a little
crowd speedily gathered and tho first
nickel was tendered.
The marksman drew back his arm.
"Stop, sir." cried Aunt Jane In a
high craekod voice, "would you strike
a lady?"
"Wh-what's that?" stammered the
marksman.
"Take ono of your own size," said
Aunt Jane; "hit the boy."
The crowd roared and the marks
man threw wild. He threw wild w'th
the second ball and the third, and
then he bought six more.
"Why, that's Peleg Saunders," said
Va Gooseberry. "Howdedo, I'eleg."
Again the crowd roared and again
ar.d again the chuckling marksman
throw wild.
It was a big crowd now and nil tho
new comer.) wanted to see and heir
the talking dolls. Tho rlckeis
streamed In, and there were dimes,
too, and even quarters.
"Hit mo If you can," Fcroamod Sis
ter Sue. "I don't pare, I don't cure'."
"She's nailed on." rviil little Wi'lie.
"Naughty, naughty!" tried Aunt
Jape.
"Bow, wow, wow!' barked Little
Willie, ami fie bark w;u no f.cree ;.:nl
;o natural that the man with tho ball
nervously Jumped mid almost hit
Tommy lY.r'.c;- in the ear.
Ar.d the env.vd roared with laughter
and pressi.il in closer.
" "i'is th' Ht ro.-e cf summer," n::ns
Ma ( ii:ii;;ivi'i ry In a cracked soprano.
' iiit her! hit her!" shouted the in
dutiful Willie.
But every thrower who came for
ward was so convulsed Willi laug' .or
that atr.-thiii'; Hi e food marUsnri a-d-.'p
was impossible. Old Tommy Car-
tcr'.i stock of cheap cigars was sca.ee-
!y broken into. :
And stiil the crowd pressed for-
wrrd and still the nickels and dh.uM j
poured in. j
"Getting tired" Tommy Carter fivir.l
the opportunity to ask the boy.
The latter straightened up with n
ball in his hand.
"No." he answered, "this Is oi.'y
fun. How's the financial basis?"
"Us nickle plated an' a yard v.ido,"
chuckled Tommy Carter.
"What a very handsome ynur.g
man," said Aunt Jane In her minc'n?
tones as the next thrower poised the
ball.
"Don't you believe a word she sny3,"
advised little Willie.
"Willyum!" said Pa Gooseberry se
verely. "Dodge, pa, dodge!" shouted lltMe
Willie. "Thai's the champion thrower
takin' aim at you!"
And the crowd roared, and the
nickels flowed In and Tommy Carter
wore an indelible smile, nnd the big
gest crowd in the park pressed around
and fought for chnnces to throw.
And when the time was up and the
big bell over the main gates sounded
the signal for clearing the grounds
tho crowd reluctantly dispersed.
Tommy Carter turned and caugh?
tho boy by the shoulder.
"You're all right, lad," he said nnd
his voice broke a little. "Y'ou'n; All
right, partner."
The boy had suddenly turned at
Tommy's words. Now he Just as sud
denly turned back.
'Why, It's Colonel Temple," cried
Aunt Jane. "Howdedo, colonel? 1
hope you're quite perr.Icketty ?"
Tommy Carter looked around wln
a frightened start.
"Hush," b.e hoarsely whispered tf
the boy.
ho tall man strode forward. He
had laughed until his eyes were wet.
"It's nil right, Tommy," he sil.l
"Jim and I are on tho best of tortus.
I'll forgive you both for drawing the
crowd iiway from the other sh'uvs.
Where r.ro you stopping, Jim?"
"Anywhere, colonel."
"Then you'll stop with me to-n'g'.it.
You needn't be afraid, Tommy;
not goln.t; to steal your partner away
from you. I'm goins to make hlr: n
proposition for mo later on. Cot.'.o,
mj boy."
The lad looUed around.
"I'm rot quite ready to settle dawn
to anything permanent, colonel."
"And when will you be reridv, my
hoy?"
"As sr.on as I finish my summer va
cation, (too'l-niglit, partner."
"Good night." Tommy called after
them.- Y.'. II. Kose, in Cleveland rir.in
Dealer.
Try a Change.
Drop persecuting your wife wiA
growls about how big the bills are for
the children's shoes. Carry her away
for a day of spring rest and recrea
tion, and giH a new viewpoint your
self. Take your eyes off the stock
tk iter and freshen them with nn after
neon's vision of the blue sky. Tuil
your head out of your cash drawer, go
to a baseball game and blow somo
sunshiny nlr through your musty
brain. Give over being a worm mere
ly grubbing for money, run out into
tho open and be a red-blooded, virile
human being for a change. Then you
will have some real work in you fight
ing to come out like steam out of a
boiler under 3u0 pounds' pressure. The
problem of the children's shoe bills
will be solved and a lot more be
sides. Quit existing. Try living.
New Y'ork Press.
Cow Never said a Word.
When one of the fenders of the City
railway cars picked up a young he! for
at the corner of Third and Jersey
streets the conductor filled out the re
quired report blank to Superintendent
Edward Howell. In answer to the
question; "What did the victim say?"
the employe wrote: "She was car
ried ulong on tho fender for a short
illrtance, then rolled off and ran away
without saying a word." Dayton Co
lumbus Dispatch.
BEAUTIES OF THE OLACK ROD.
He Is tht King's Messenger, Yet Doors
are Slammed In His Face.
Black Hod is perhaps the most pic
turesque functionary of Parliament.
Ills titles are Chief of All the I'shers
of England and Custodian of the
Doors of the High Court called Par
liament. As such he sits in a bos
to the right of the bar in the House
of Lords and controls the admission
of strangers.
But his chief title Is Messenger of
tho Sovereign. When the King ap
pears In the House of I junta the
members of both chambers must tie
present. In his capacity n royal tus
s tiger Black Uod has to go and sum
mon the Commons.
As he walks through the lobbies one
of his ushers heralds his approach
with cries of "Black Bod! Way for
lliuk Uod!" Yel It would seun
from his reception at the door of
the lower chamber that he is regard
ed there with hostility.
The moment he is heard coming,
the sergeant at arms springs tivm his
cl.i.ir, which is close to the main en
iranee to the chamber, and, rushing
to 1 ho open door, not only (loses it
with an Inhospitable clang in the ery
lai e of Black Uod, but proceeds se
curely lo bolt it. Presently three
i.itit knocks are heard. The sergeant-at-arnis
peers into the lobny throi i-li
a '.-rated peephole with a wooden :: ot
In the stout oaken door and sees liim k
Pod.
According to Ihe program not a
v. .r.l Is spoken. All that, is heard is
the subdued knocking at the p -rt il.
Ti..;t soft and humble request U '!;; -d.
; ih'.o, and at a nod from ile
ipe'iker the door is Hung open t the.
i r. e.iut-at-arn.s and In v.aiU ; t;;u
KL.g's inisscnger.
T.'.e post of Black Hod, it must l e
h lined, is in the personal gi:'t i
tie King. It is invariably bestowed
jii old naval or military otHcors, a
s.:i!or nnd a soldier alternately enjoy
h: .-. its dignity nnd emoluments. The
.'l. itlcman I'sher of tho Black Kd
e:s IM.OeO a year, and ho has a dep-it;-
known as Yeoman I'sher of the
Hi.ick Rod, whose salary Is ',W.
But whether he be a soldier or a
jailor, Black Rod Is not a very t ir
U'.i.'.able looking person as he is scca
on lils visits to the Houso of Com
mons. On occasions of state he dons
his full military of naval "fig." When
he conies to summon the commons he
weirs his official dress a black cut
aw .y tunic, knee breeches, silk stock
in, -a, and silver buckled shoes.
There is not the faintest suggestion
of aggressiveness in his appearance,
notwithstanding the sword that dan
gles by his side, and the short ebony
rod of office, surmounted by a golden
lion rampant, which he earrie.i In
lilu hand. His message, too, Is abso
lutely blameless.
When the door of the House cf
Co,.imons is opened to him. the loud
voiced usher preceding him stands at
the bar and cries: "Black i.od!" If
there be any business in hand It Is it
om e Interrupted. The Speaker re
sportfully rises to receive the nies
i.'.'.o of the sovereign. Members re
tain their seats, but uncover.
Black Rod advances slowly to the
tal-.'.e with solemn mien, as u to show
ih :.t he Is becoming Impressen by the
lisnlty and sanctity of the chamber,
lie further manifests his awe by mik
ing three low abeisaiues to the chair.
On reaching the table, he simply sa.- s;
"The Lord's Commissioners de-ire
the immediate attendance of this huu
osv.ble House in the House of Peero."
When the King is personally pros
;'iit in the House of Lords the message
which Black Rod delivers to the C ni
.jio.is is more peremptorily worded. It
runs: "The King commands this
iii.-siorable House to attend his Majes
ty immediately in 1 lie House of Peers
lo hear tlu King's speech read,''
Having thus said what he was seat
to say, Black Rod retires respectfully
bu kward, bowing as he goes, to t'.ie
b tr, where he awaits the Speaker,
ui.'i escorts him, followed by the
Ministers and others of the Commons,
to I; .e House of Lords. Sometimes so
R-.vritruok is Black Hod in the pres
ence of the mighty Commons that ho
foi 'ets even the words of his short
un I simple and Iunoecnt message.
There was tho cae af Gen. Sir Ml
jl.ael Biddulph, R. A. lie was a brii
lliui soldier. He. served through the
Crimean compalgn with great distinc
tion. For his salient services at the
occupation of Caudahnr in tne Afghan
war he received the thanks of both
houses of Parliament. Yet I have seeu
thlr great soldier shaking with nerv
ousness when, as Black Rod, he stood
at the table to desire the presence of
the Commons in the House of Peers.
What then Is the meaning of this
hostile banging of tho door of the
House of Commons in Black Rod's In
offensive face? Why must the King's
messenger humbly knock three times
for admission and wait submissively
on the mat outside until the represen
tatives of the peoplo decide to open
their doors unto him.
We find in this most interesting
spectacle a demonstration of the right
of the representatives of the people to
conduct their deliberations lu secret,
should they deem it necessary, to
shut their doors, especially against
messengers of sovereigns or t-eers, and
n'.so a declaration that no stranger,
low or high, dare enter their chamber
without permission, humbly asked
tir.d expressly granted.
Seven lines too long.
AVcgctable Preparation for As
similating tticFoodandRcgula
ling the Stainnchs and Dowels of
Promotes Digcslion.ChtTrfur
ness and Rest.Contains neither
Opium.Morpliinc nor Uiu:raL
Hot Nxii c otic .
-m,Jlm Sent'
KkJb .Utt
stnir .tW
Hi CurtHtnlrStria
tlonp SrJ -CinnttMl
Mwnr
DMwi t'lareK
AprrTrcl Remedy forConstip,v
lion , Sour Stomach, Diarrhoea
Worms .Convulsions iYvrrish
ness nnd Loss OF SLEEI.
Facsimile Sitfnnlure cf
NEW YORK.
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