!
I
e
Long Life
To Ceatti
I
c
I
&i mi ii
Ml i -ui.--jiiiI' -; ..
The co:-n-'.'a r
cot:r.:o:i-u.'
beamed 1U" n s ir::
;aer's moon as U
rising tide of voices broke into pea'.s
of tei'gTitc r across the tublo.
"No, no!" Latimer protested, break
ing In upon what prnr.usid to bu tho
(oolonol'h hand-hour ho'r.lly to the hot
(blood of youth. "No crown of year.!
mad honors for mo. please."
"A short death and a merry one is
good enough for Latimer." Burke in
Urrupted. "With a quick death end a sure
some one else supplied.
"And a large cold bottle and nn
other one," Hurke continued, runt-inc
the toast down to a finish.
Above this uproar of protest and ap
plause a clear soprano lifted.
"For hes a Jolly good fellow,"
and the colonel, having gotten only so
far aa the battle of Gettysburg In hU
remarks. Joined with a will in the
chorus and forcot to fini-ih the rest of
his one, time-honored speech.
Whether the drawn lips framed the
words or the cry of her soul thrilled
the Question to his own. Latimer could
not have said, but aga'nst his will his
yea turned to those of the woman be
aid him.
"For a send-off," he explained with
verdone nonchalance. "I got my or
4ars yesterday."
Other than an ail but lmperceptiblo
Straightening of her shoulders the
girl gave no sign she had heard.
"Azalie is more radiant than ever
to-night," a plump matron leaned
cross the colonel to say to a red-hair-4
girl, noting the effect of the un
wanted pallor and burning eyes.
"Why shouldn't she be?" the red
hstfred girl snapped in answer, "with
two-millton-dollar count for a hus
band?" "la It announced?" the plump worn
a gasped. "I had heard nothing of
It She has decided then between the
oswnt and General Espendola?"
"The mere fact of the colonel's
ssAdlng her in to dinner with a no-aady-ln-particular
like Lieutenant
Ittmer points to the fact that she
tea decided upon one of them but is
aat going to announce it yet," the red
Badred announced with an air of su
parlor wisdom.
"Ah, yes," agreed her fat friend
something like a sigh; "I sup
even Azalle could not stand out
lflBg against two millions."
Hare a sudden outburst of laughter
at the other end of the table gave
Latimer the further chance to add:
''Of course, this is sudden. A sol
Oar's movements are bound to be.
an know."
The shadow of the wr.v:ng, inter
'Ming vines fell in delicate tracery
flka the meshe9 of net upon the
asm and the wo...:i at his side, and
Jfcs heavy fra"" ince of the air drug
tad It wit!', bitter-sweet memories
-feat would cot down.
"But you are ordered back to the
"sited States not to Mindanao?"
The voice of the questioner and the
jrms of the question brought Lan
ier up with a pride in the sporting
lood of the Dons. He could not see
'to wicked little half-moons her nails
ere cutting into her palms.
Noting their apparent lack of inter
at In each other, a man leaned across
e table with a story meant to sti:r.".
:te conversation, at which Azali
arted her lips in a smile that seemed
j pass for mirth. A scarlet cnmelia
ad fallen from its high estate in tV
lne-black masses of her hair nr.'.'
ung rakish);.' over her ear, but she
.id not c?.ro.
"Latimer if nt i; nv-.'.n, making hr.r
ith the lust r-y left." the cV-"..l
ent towa'! the r ) rc.n to rry.
"ho, seeiiii f:irt'.:( r thr"i the hn:
-.ces and the p'e.vi.ing shoulder'
implies into the f.u.T.v whitene
gainst the t:r i " rt.: ; of '.he men, r.cd
d, addlr.--: "Th:- days of our yo :t';i
re the day of our i.'.-;r.v," and tl.e
vo gray h-ad ler.-.ed el.' .-or to mourn
:gether their lost p: r:u! '.--?.
"This is r n e hr of your own
Peking?" a Hfe'o--.-: :o at Us el-
-w aroused La::. .or.
"lam art'r? ir-d--.- o.-'. r-" Lr.'!;:-'-:
pated, rcr.-ir!.''.; f.r the tn.y In
.ont of him, hit the h:.r..l that rolled
'a cigarette was not r. '. the hand
.'the man who he'. d :i.eil: '..- for Uiari:
ansbip. The red-h-lrc-d girl, Kpr'r. ;::;; ct;
!( upon Latii..-.T's unguarded :i.o
aat, caught, too, Az.ule's futile ef
.rt to raiso her f jik to her lips.
"Why, what's the matter with you,
salle?" she nslted, directing tlie
s" attention to the- girl's nervele-o
nd; "your ring positively clatter.
ainst your pia'e." trying to hatu ht r
ther beauty and great luck.
And Azalie, da'lii.g of the god-,
jklng into the glitter of light and
lor before her, saw only swirling
ickness. The niht was sultry to
location, but the erect, white flg-
shivered. Twirling the heavy seal
tg on her flnyer, "this in a most
' -jeresting ring," she said quietly,
taing the point of contact from her
nd to the heavy ring upon It. "It
a history."
"And that Is V Burke Questioned,
Trying on an animated conversation
th his neighbor and hearing every
ing else that was said.
"The poisoner's rln- given my
andfather by Maxlmillian when he
nd their cause was lost," she en
tered briefly. '
Latimer, listening to the cool tones
d steady voice, went down on the
es of hla soul to this daughter of a
' Ad red Dons, although he thanked
start for this chance to make hla
final adieux in public. 8he might
weep and swoon or snap her fingers In
his face, Latimer had fancied, but this
high handed counter-play had never
suggested Itself in connection with
the mercurial Azalle. An unwelcome
vision of the thln souled little wife at
home turning him back to Azalle,
Latimer whispered softly, "I hope the
gods have another meeting in store
for us, and that you will not forget."
The rubies in her breast flashed
like a Jet of blood from a thrust, but
the smoke wreath she blew from her
lips Interposed a moment's merciful
yell before her eyes.
"Here's at you ngain, Latimer,"
Burke, always to be relied upon to do
the right thine; at the wrong time,
chipped In. "Here's to your safe voy
age home and sure return to the Phil
ippines." And as the evening waned
and the toasts went around the table,
tha soprano girl sang to a three-string
accompaniment something about lovo
and death and evermore, sometimes
on and sometimes off the key.
At last Azalie poised her glass In
mid-air.
"Is It a pas soul?" the red-haired
girl asked, noticing the tension of her
poise.
"Long life to Latimer," some one
proposed, seeing the glrl'a Instant's
hesitation.
"Long life to the girl I left behind
me!" the trial-apropos Burke again in
terrupted, having caught something of
the aide-play between Azalle and Lati
mer during the evening.
With eyes dilating, bosom heaving,
radiant, reckless, Azalie faced Lati
mer. "Long life to death!"
The next instant glass and ling
crashed upon the table, the wine
tains streaming like blood upon the
floor. MARGUERITE STABLER.
Crovt as Enemies of Tsrraplns.
The crow Is the evil genius of the
turtle Just as of the diamond back
nd other terrapins. When the warm
days of spring come and the female
terrapins and turtles leave their beds
la the marsh, the crow goes on guard,
knowing that a season of feasting Is
at hand. Both terrapins and turtles
k the warm, sandy uplands near
tha shore to deposit their eggs. A
hole is dug several Inches deep and
from 20 to 30 oblong whlta eggs are
deposited and then the nest Is filled
or covered with sand. Having neatly
piled the sand over the eggs tha turtle
raises herself just as high aa it Is
possible, then comes down with a
heavy thud on the sand. This la con
tinued until the sand la quite hard,
when the eggs are left for tha aun to
hatch.
In the meantime the crow haa been
on guard, and by means of his sharp
hill and strong claws the work of
breaking Into the treasure house of
the unsuspecting turtle la quickly ac
complished and the feast Is soon over.
The crow Is considered by many to
be the greatest enemy the diamond
back has. It Is an easily established
fact that the crow destroys thousands
of the eggs of all kinds of terrapins,
not making an exception of the dia
mond back.
Physicians' Confessions.
"I often wonder," said Dr. Jay F.
Schamberg at a recent meeting of the
Philadelphia County Medical Society,
"how many of our cures are psycho
logical. Some time ago I had a pati
ent with a severe case of eczema. I
sent her to another physician to take
sea water treatment. I kept her un
der inspection, seeing her twice a
week. Immediately she began to tell
me how much the sea water was help
ing her. She said she was getting
better every day, and yet the eczema
kept getting v. orse so far as I could
see, and I co'ild seo that she was
scratching it more all the time."
"I have a beter one than that," re
joined Dr. C. K. d? M. Sajous. "A
man brought his daughter to me for
treatment. She had lost her voice. I
tried the battery on her, and her voice
returned perfectly in a short time.
The father was In such glee that he
hugged me. When they had gone I
happened to loo't at the battery and
saw that the current had not been
turned on."
Theology In the Highlands.
The minister's class nt the kirk of
Tobermory had been reading the story
of Joseph and iiis brethren and it
came to the turn of the minister to
examine the boys.
The replies to nil his questions had
been quick, intelligent and correct.
"What great erlu.e did these sons
Of Jacob commit?"
"They sold their brother Joseph."
"Quite correct. And for how much?"
"Twenty pieces of silver."
"And what added to the cruelty and
wickedness of these bad brothers?"
A pause.
"What made their treachery even
more detestable and heinous?"
Then a bright little Highlander
stretched out an eager hand.
"Well, my man?"
"Please, sir, they sell't him ower
cheap."
Too Great a Loss. -
Whoever knows anything about the
small boy and his pride in his first
pair of trousers will recognize the
truth of a story the Philadelphia Pub
lic Ledger prints.
Tommy was at Sunday-school In
his first "real" clothes. A picture of
a lot of little angels was before the
elans, and the teacher asked Tommy
If he would not like to be one.
"No, ma'am." replied Tommy, after
Inspecting the picture.
"Not want to be an angel. Tommy!"
reproached the tencher. "Why not?"
"'Cause I'd have to give vp my new
pants," said Tomr y, srjely.
THE COLUMBIAN.
GO IN HIE WOODS
FOR SPRUCE GUM
There Are Men Who Make a
Business of the Trip Into
Maine's Wilderness
THEY CALL IT "GOING GUMMING"
From 25 to 50 Work the Maine Woods
Each Spring Leases from tha
Lumbermen May Pick $8 Worth
in a Day.
In the early days of April from
twenty-live to fifty athletic, canvas
clad young men start for the up-river
woods from Bangor, Me., and nearby
towns to collect spruce gum from
the more than 20,000.000.000 feet of
spruce timbers still standing in the
northern forests of Maine.
Not a few of these men are the well
to do Rons of old families, who go
"gumming" partly for profit and part
ly as a pastime. A majority, however,
are trained climbers who know tho
woods and who break away from side
walks and electric lights to gain
health and money at a time of the
year when lumbering operations are
drawing to a cloae and before the
streams open up for driving.
Instead of being a solitary and
silent man the gum picker as a rule
Is as talkative as a book agent and
as Ingratiating as a poor kinsman In
straitened circumstances, says the
Boston Herald. For, in order to se
cure exclusive control over the gum
territory he desires to monopolize,
the picker must claim lease over
spruce timber lands whose owners he
has never met. Before he can do this
he must ingratiate himself Into the
favor of the camp bosses and their
subordinates. A pan who can sing a
rollicking song or tell a lively story
Is welcome.
The travelling outfit of the gum
picker Is very light. A set of steel
climbers, such aa are used by line
men, a heavy and broad hatchet for
cutting oft the gum and for scarring
the trees for the making of more gum
the next year these with tobacco,
pipe and matches, complete his rig.
His food and lodging are given to
him by the boss of the camp where
he chances to stop over night, his
cheerful ways and the Jews he brings
from the outer world more than pay
ing for all dues.
The picker who gleans his harvest
from the same trees year after year
erhances the value of the holding
greatly, though this value applies to
the gum alone, for the trees are not
materially affected. The owners of
the woods are too busy to spend time
In allotting gum areas, and as the In
come from gum picking Is never large
and. the time of picking lasts but a
few weeks the harvesters cannot af
ford to pay the fees for drawing the
leases, to say nothing of giving tribute
for the gum.
A "smart" man working In an old
gum orchard of thrifty trees that are
scattered widely enough to admit sun
light for ripening and hardening the
gum can under fair conditions collect
in a day from eight to ten pounds of
rough gum, which on cleaning will
shrink two pounds, worth $1 a pound
in the cities. Before starting out to
operate n gum orchard a picker must
spend one sprin;; fn marking and scar
ries tile tree-;, so as to make sure of
finding gum er.o.-.sh to pay for his la
bor when he c.ll.s arr.:nd a year later.
Thi.' is i'o:,e by c'.in.bins a thrifty
tre? to riinv.. the old limbs and high
into the s;in'ii;".'.it and scarring the
FOi.t'l side of the trunk between the
whorls of limbs with deep incisions
sha; ed like a V.
The spruce .'.p exudes from these
wound.-; and moving downward along
the cut is dried in the sun until a
pitchy cru.-t is formed, which fends
off the bits of bark and spills blown
about by the wind and prohibits the
entrance of inquisitive bees and other
Insects. Thu! protected from harm,
the embryo nugget of gum continues
to grow from the inside by fresh sup
plies of resinous sap and to harden
from the outside by slow evaporation.
The sun goes away south, winter ar
rives and the sweetening frosts re
move the pitchy and acrid taste, leav
ing from a score to a hundred of
sweet and ruddy nnd cryst;UlUed
"teats" of genuine spruce gum.
There are good reasons why the
harvesters should choo?o April as the
month for the tasks. It Is then that
the gum Is in Its ripest and best con
dition, not so old as to be bard and
crumbly, not so young as to be soft
and taste of pitch. Tne scaly crust
above the winter enow banks among
the trees Is then as smooth as glass,
carrying all the gum which escapes
the hand of the picker into the hol
lows among the drifts and holding
them safely in plain view until they
can be picked up. Before the end of
May the coming sun will have warm
ed the tree trunks and set the old
wounds to bleeding new sap, thus
spoiling the harvest for another year.
If he Is an old band at se.llng In
the city the gum hunter will charge
from $1 to 11. DO a pound for bis gum.
If he Is new at the business he may
sell to some sharp broker or druggist
for 75 cents a pound. If he likes to
baggie he will call around from place
to place and In a day or more can sell
out for $2 a pound.
New Edge to An Old 6aw.
The hand that stirs the kettle Is
tho hand that rules th world. Balti
more Sun.
BLOOMSBUTS&
ULru.ili I'fl P. ifli'Jlitl
".t -6. Ra.' tcy, ' c.-ty-six Inches Tall,
and her Ti Bnby Alive,
Well and r . c gret sing.
Philadelphia. Surnical experts an1
marvelling over thu wonderful or?
come of a Caesarian operation per
f is mod on .Mrs. Lawrence A. Ram
sey, who, three weeks afterward, re
ceived her friends, nnd showed them
the tiny baby.
Seldom do both mother nnd child
survive this critical operation when
the former Is of normal stature, and
Mrs. Ramsey, who is twenty-live years
old. weighs only fifty-seven pounds,
and is only forty-six Inches tall. Lit
tle Miss Ramsey weighed four pounds
at birth. Her parents are the midget
team in vaudeville, known as Wels
nnd Ramsey, the mother, as "Queen
of the Lilliputians," being well known
all over the country. She was mar
ried to Ramsey about a year ago.
Mrs. Ramsey toid her fiends of
the operation and said:
"I sat up In ten days afterward. On
the fifteenth day I walked, nnd a few
days later I left the hospital. The care
they gave me was lovely, and 1 was
such an unusual case that ever so
many doctors and surgeons came to
see me, and they were all very kind
and considerate, and said it was so
strange they would not have believed
it if they had not seen for themselves."
HUNT FOR MEANEST MAN ENDS.
Sarcastic Mount Vernon Shopkeeper
Fined and Sign Must Come Down.
White Plains, N. Y. Old Scrooge
might be a philanthropic Carnegie
alongside certain tightwads in Mount
Vernon, but William Frledberg has no
license to determine publicly who are
the men who would squeeze a dollar
until the eagle yelled "Help! I'm melt
ing!" For conducting a voting con
test to determine the meanest man In
Mount Vernon Frledberg, who keeps
a cigar store there, was fined $5 by
Judge Piatt here. A warning went
with the fine.
Frledberg lives i Astoria, but does
business In Mount Vernon. He placed
In his window a placard: "Come In
and vote for the meanest man In
Mount Vernon!" This was followed
by a list of names. Conspicuous In
the lot were the Mayor and Chief of
Police. Then came many solid and
staid citizens. After every name was
a number signifying the votes the
owner of the name had received so
far.
Great was the wtath of the so
called "meanest men." Frledberg was
ordered to take the sign out of the
window, but he refused to do so. His
indictment for libel followed. In
court uo pleaded guilty, but asserted
he did not know he was violating any
law.
SHEEP LEADS A DANCE.
Heads the GranU March at Butchers
Association Festivities.
Wilmington, Del. At the annual
ball of the Wholesale and Retail
Butchers' Association the grand
march was led by a sheep.
The sheep, which readily obeys the
vord of comaiand. Is a pet owned by
H. T. Derry. It was decorated with
gold and silver trimmings, and rs the
orchestra struck up tho opening
strains of the march the sheep strut
ted down the ballroom floor followed
by the long line of men and women
in attendance. The animal led the
marchers through the figures of the
inarch without a mistake.
COAL FIELDS WILL LAST.
Expert Geologis Says Pennsylvania
Mines Are Good for 80 Years.
New York City. Prof. Win. Urlfflth.
a Pennsylvania mining expert and
geologist, a wltnesj in the suit of the
government against the anthracite
fj:: carrying railroads, estimates t!u
-u; ;'y of coal tinder ground in tho
!':. :i,-y!v .nla fields at 2,22!.201.;:.)
ton.; and would last only about S!
j-r i:-;. II.' nuid this estimate for the
b-.nUir-R firm of Harvey Fisk & S' ns,
v. '.: v, :i:.t- d to know conditions before
l::yi:;i: era! bond
Tl2 Minister .ens Overi'ls.
Mr-ive'tine, Mo. This town a short
t!-.:e fir. i- voted out saloons. Rev.
("has. K. IVtrre gave great influence
In ridding the community of these
places, and as he was walking down
the street he passed by where the
fixtures of the "White Elephant" were
being loaded in drays awaiting ship
Hunt. The saloonkeeper, seeing him,
asked the preacher if he would vote a
man out of town, and then refuse to
help him move. Rev. Petreo went
home, put on a pair of overalls, and
was soon back helping to load the
goods.
Woman Plans Tramp In Africa.
London. Miss Charlotte Mansfield,
a young writer, sailed for Cape Town
with the iutention of starting on a
lonely tramp of eight thousand miles
toward Cairo. Two thousand miles of
the Journey will bo through the wilds
of Central Africa. Miss Mansfield's
only escort will be thirty native car
riers. A South Carolina Wedding.
Winnsboro, N. C Mr. A. U. San
ders and Miss Zulu llollis of Great
Falls drove into town Monday at noon
and went at once to the residence of
the Rev, A. J. Foster who united them
in marriage while still sitting In the
buggy.
Hatpin Length Limited by Law.
Salem, Ore. A bill prohibiting the
wearing of hatpins in excess of ten
Inches was passed by the State legls-'ature.
iilt KAOLOCKED revolver.
Novel, Sight for a Man Unaccustomed
to Shooting Galleries.
"Maybe It was because 1 don't go
around much among shooting galleries
that this sight seemed strange to me,"
said a man who commonly stays pret
ty close at home, "but in this gallery
it certainly did surprise me to see a
big revolver secured to the countor
by a padlock.
"They Imd a lot of rifles there,
magazine riiles, tho all lying with
their muzzles toward the targets
handily across the board, but that
one big revolver was padlocked down
so that nobody could pick It up until
it had been unlocked. 1 wondered at
that. Were they afraid somebody
would carry It off?
"That seemed scarcely likely, for It
was as big as a cannon, a .44, and a
man wouW hardly try to slip a gun
llko that In his pocket with the gal
lery man standing by. But pretty
soon a man wanted to fire this big re
volver and w hen he ramr to handle It
I thought that perhaps we could see
the reason why It was kept chained.
"The rifles were long enough so
that when you threw the muzzle of
one up it went above your bead and
above those of the bystanders; but big
as It was the revolver could still be
thrown up to a point where by care
lesshandling you might shoot yourself
or somebody else with It. Maybe that
was the reason why they kept the b'g
revolver chained, so that people
couldn't pick It up and handle It. True,
It would be supposed to be unloaded
when lying not in use, but somebody
who had used it might have left a
cartridge In It, and, loaded or unload
ed, a gun Is a dangerous thing to
handle; you never can tell.
"Anyhow this big revolver when not
in use was kept padlocked to the
counter."
In the Heat of Battle.
There had been a hotly contested
football gam-3 between the Steam Rol
lers of the Benjamin Franklin School
and the Avalanches of the George
Washington School. It was won by
the Avalanches. After the game was
over and the contestants had return
ed to their various homes, one of tha
heroes of the winning team complained
of a feeling of soreness in the lower
part of his neck.
"I didn't feel It until Just now," ha
said, "but It hurts like sixty!"
His father examined it- It began to
swell, and was very sore to the touch.
"I believe your collar-bone Is brok
en, my boy," said his father.
A surgeon was hastily summoned,
and made an examination.
"Yes," he said, "the bone is frac
tured. How did It happen, Walter?
Do you remember anything about It?"
"Why, yes," answered the boy. "1
remember that when I tackled Skinny
Morgan I fell on top of him, and 1
heard something crack, but I thought
it was his collar-bone."
Melody on the Farm.
If you like music and pretty pic
tures, you can have them at your will
by getting up early on the farm and
listening to the songs of the birds and
all the signs and sounds of nature's
resurrection. You can hear the chick
ens, the cows and the hogs the neigh
ing horses as the farmer comes with
their feed. You can hear the voices at
tho lot as the boys or the hired hands
draw water for the stock and make
ready for the day. Then, as the first
long golden lance of light strikes
don across the silent fields, you can
see all the lifo nnd hustle of another
opening day. And all of It is sweet,
and brlngeth peace and joy as we
lind out sometimes when we have left
it and pine for it again. Sylvania
(Ga.) Telephone.
Health and Mountain Climbing,
if women (and men, too) would take
suitable exercise, eat moderately and
slowly, and get all tho fresh air pos
sible, they would not in middle life ac
quire figures so ungainly, feel so
averse to physical effort, or drop off
with heart failure. Even stalr-climb-Ing
is better than nothing; for the last
year or two, though there is an ele
vator, I have done four flights several
times a day. Reasonable mountain
climbing will bring or preserve health,
Joy and youth up to really old age. It
does not require great muscle and
brawn, nor the overtraining which
strains the organs and compels con
tinued exercise or collapse. Its vic
tories over nature leave no sting; the
paths are open to all. Annie S. Peck
in Collier's.
Caught on the Rebound.
The old man was lecturing his mora
or less wayward son on the evils of
getting up late in the morning.
"Remember," he said, "that It was
the early bird that caught the worm."
"But how about the worm, dad?"
queried the youth, who thought ha
had his sire up in the air. "Where
did his reward for getting up early
come in?"
"I am informed," replied the old
man gravely, "that the worm was on
his way home hadn't been In bed at
all."
And there being nothing more to
say, the young man said nothing.
Fogs and Wireless Telegraphy.
It Is one of the many marvels of
wireless telegraphy that the ether
waves which carry Its messages, un
like light waves, suffer no absorption
In mist or fog. Quite the opposite.
In fact. Is the case, for the effect on
them of clear sunlight Is so marked
that they can be sent with equal Ini
tial power only less than half the dis
tance by day as by night For this
reason press dispatches and long dis
tance messages sent by wireless teleg
raphy are, whenever possible, com
mitted to tha either wares after sunset
-Illll-x'
CAUSED MUCH
COMMOTION
rll-
mi tin
have had
iin
nil j,
Tli-y
more trouble at
our meeting Iioiim-.
I.n:-t Sunday Rev. Mr. Moody r,
ju t h ---inning his sermon and r.-ui
utiiic thi' words, "Brethren.
wish to direct your attention i'njj
irrrning to the fourth verse of i;J0
twelfth iliMpter of Saint " whin a
hen oTii'Tgrd from the recess be.
ni -ith th" pulpit. A she had jun
In Id an eng. she Interrupted Mr. Moo
dy to announce the fact to the ron
groftatlon; and he stopped short
she walked ont Into the aisle screech.
In-! Ktik-ituk-kuk-kuk-te-ko! Kuk-kuk-kuk-kuk-te-ko!"
Mr. Moody contemplated her for
a moment, and then concluded to so
o:i; but the sound of his voice spew
ed to ;jrovoke her to rivalry, and so
she put on a pressure of five or ii
pounds to tho square Inch, and mi
such a racket that the preacher stop
ped again and said.
"Will Deacon Grimes please re
move that disgraceful cbickeu from
thf meeting house?"
The deacon rose and proceeded
with the task. He first tried to driv
her toward the door, but she dod'tet'
him, and still clucking vigorously,
got under the seat In the front pirw.
Then the deacon seized his umbrella
and scooped her out Into the aisle
again, after which he tried to "shoo"
her toward the door, but shn darted
into a pew, hopped over the parti
tion, came down In the opposite pt,
and in the side aisle, making a noise
like a steam planing mill. The deft
con didn't like to climb over after
her, so he went around, and Just aa
he got Into the side aisle the hen
flew over In the middle aisle again.
Then the boys In the gallery laughed
and the deacon began to grow red In
the face.
At last Mr. Blnns rame out of his
pew to help, and as both he and the
deacon made a dash at the chicken
from opposite directions, she flew np
with a wild cluck to the gallery mod
pitched on the edge, while she gave
excited expression to her views by
emitting about 600 clucks a minute.
The deacon flung a hymn book at her
to scare her down again, but he miss
ed her and hit Billy Jones, a Sunday
school scholar, In the eye. Then an
other boy In the gallery made a dash
at her, and reached so far over that
he tumbled and fell on Mrs. Mis
key's summer bonnet, whereupon she
said out loud that he was predestined
to the gallows.
The crash scared the hen, and she
flew ever and roosted on the stove
pipe that ran along JuBt under tbe
celling, fairly howling with fright In
order to bring her down the deacon
and Mr. Blnns both beat on the lower
part of the pipe with their umbrellas,
and at the fifth or sixth knock the
pipe separated and about 40 feet of
It came down with a crash, emptying
a barrel or two of last winter's sool
over the congregation.
Thera were women In the congre
gation who went home looking a If
they had been working in a coal mine
and wishing they could stab Deacon
Grimes without being hanged for
murder.
The hen came down with the
Loepipe, and as she flew by Mr.
iiilins he made a dash at her wisn
his umbrella and knocked her clear
through a $K pane of glass, where
upon she landed in the street and
hopped off clucking Insanely. Th u
Mr. Moody adjourned the congregu
t ion.
They are going to expel the- owner
of that hen from church when tin
discover his identity.
Very Toii:pliii.
A man was brought before a '..'
t!io of the peace (.'.'.urged with t'.-
eft use of a ki.'-'.-r; a young woir.aa
"by force and violence, and agan.'
hi r will."
The joung lady, who was v :f
'i.iiidsonie, ae her testimony in i
mod- st and straightforward manic r,
after which his honor gave the fel
loe. i:g decision: "The court in tl.ii
!!;.-? sympathizes with the defendant,
and will therefore discharge him.
'.vi'hout fine. Imprisonment or n-prl-r.'.i'.nd,
because the comt while tills
in'o has been in progress lias been
o'.di:e.l to hold on to both arms of
1.1s chair to keep from kissing the
complainant himself."
Has Many Crowns.
The Czar has us many crowns as a
fashioable lady has hats. He Is re
garded by his people as a religious u'
w ell as a secular monarch, and there
fore has crowns for every possible
i-tuto occasion. Tho R-n-dan Imperial
crown is modeled after a patriarchial
miter. Five magnificent diamonds,
-liiiu ou a lic.fc.; tiowing ruby, or
the cross at the summit. Diamonds
and pearls of utmost perfection ren
der tliis crown unrivaled among all
others, and there is one sapphire in
it which is taid to be the finest ston
of its kind ever mined.
Smile's Face Value.
Although most of us would hesi
tate to express what might be term
ed the face value of the "modern
r-nille," we certainly realize at time
that It Is a form of currency which
Is depreciating. In the "modern
smile" we recognize the crude, oO
rlal thing which neither Illuminate,
cheers, nor bridges awful gaps of al
ienee. It may savor of suggesting
wave of Imbecility to declare that wa
ought all to smile more; but Is is
certainly true that the charm of
woman's smile was once esteemed
even above beauty.
; i