THE COLUMBIAN. BLOOMSBUR&, UA.
IN HIS III DAVE
SHAVED
Now When Tired Rest, No Mat
ter How Many Customers
Are Waiting for Him
OLDEST BARBER MAKES COMMENTS
l tn' Facet, Ht Say. Art Lotlng
Strong Masculinity that Formerly
Marked Them iy bartering It
not a Trade, it a Profettion.
Cleveland. Ohio. f.lgiit oppotltt
the Cuyahoga Kali Hotel Is Dart
Berkhelmer'i barber ffcop. wbote pro
prietor works wherj be fee.s like it and
at do other time. Ad evening or to
ago. at an hour when business usually
gets brisk, be turned the lights low,
carried a chair out to the sidewalk,
and, seating himself, lighted a pipe
and as puffing away contentedly
when he bad a call. It was Jake Boo
ron. wbo came in from the farm with
a bunch of hair on bis face, the crop
of a full week, "n bis buttonhole was
a Cower and be wore a pale blue neck
tie, for It was the night he always set
apart for his girl:
"Guess I'll try one of your shares,
pop," he remar'ced. hesitating at the
doorstep.
"Not this evening, you won't," ob
served Dave.
"What's the reason 1 won't? AlD't
this a regular barber shop, and aln t
you a regular uar'jer. and ain't veil
gotta shave anybody that's got tna
price? And If that's al! that's wron
of you. I kin show I've sot that all
right."
"My boy." said Dave. "I want to
work when I want to and not waun
other people want me to. I'll tell you
something. I started in this busing
when 1 was thirteen years u'a. I'm
seventy-three cow. That makes sixty
years at the strop. I'm the eldest
barber in the United States. And all
this time I've ben working, thinking
I bad to. Well. I've just decided that
I don't have to and I ain't goin to.
Good night."
Has Dave retired?
Not a bit of It That's merely his
declaration of Independence. Actual
ly he's working harder than ever.
"But," he says, "I've saved a bit of
money, and I'm beholden to no man.
And from now on I'm going to work
' I get tired, and when I get tired
-. going to lay off If the whole shop's
i of people.
"Yes, you bet I've shaved some
: cn In my day. I figure that I've
- : ked on about 6,000 faces and heads
. year on an average for sixty years.
That makes It run upward 360,000 for
my sixty years, don't it?
"Has the human face undergone any
changes? Well, I should say It has.
And not for the better, elUie., It seems
to me. You don't see any rugged,
strong faces any more, like you used
to.
"Men's faces used to be hard and
big, and tbe hair on the top of the
head was as thick as It was on tbe
chin and jaws. Men are getting to
be more like women. Their faces art
big enough sometimes, but they're soft
and kind of flabby that old hardness
Isn't there any more. Tbe hair's all
od the face and not on the head.
"There has been a change in the
cheek bones. Most young fellows now
adays seem to have kind of high
cheek bones. They don't look no more
like their grandads than a cat does
like a tiger.
"I've figured that we can blame the
hats for tbe bald beads. Men didn't
used to be so careful about covering
their beads up with air-tight straw
and the like of that in the hot sum
mer. They used to wear bats that let
plenty of air In, and that's what tbtlr
bair needs mor n anything else. Hair'll
never come out if you keep it clean
and give it plenty of air."
There's no unsteadiness about Dave
for all bis sixty years at the strop.
One of bis favorite jokes Is to get a
man that he can not hold a pin In hit
hand, arm stretched horizontally, for
ten minutes. It sounds easy, but did
yo-i ever try It? Few men can do It
Dave can.
Dave smokes a good deal. Also be
drinks two beers a day.
"My own Idea about this drink busi
ness," he says, "is that the more you
say to a man that he mustn't take it,
tho harder he'll go after it Now I
was going to say that I'd drink all my
lift, but never had been drunk bat 1
was once.
"Let's see it was after Lincoln'!
second election tbe time be was at
Hudson. I went over there with a
lot of other fellows to see Lincoln go
through. And I recollect wt took a
bottle along. Yes, I was pretty well
eorned up that time. I had the bottle
when Lincoln came In.
"'How're ye, Abe,' I yells, waving
both bands, one holding the bottlt,
too.
"He waved back, laughed and said
something, I don't know what though
I've studied over it Iota of times. I
wish I'd heard it, for I bet you a
cookie it was something good. Ht
used to gtt off aomt prttty rich things.
"Bartering Isn't a trade It's a pro
fession. I learned my trade In Ger
many, and I can do surgery. Why, I
can bleed a man with the bttt of
doctors. And I know all tht dlstattt
of tbe fact and what's good for them.
How many barbers do nowadays? But
they ought to."
Tbe Mexican National Exposition la
to be held In Puebla In tut spring of
1910.
$ HUMOR
? OF THE. HOUR
Why Ht Mourned.
O'Flanairan came home ont night
with a deep band of crepe around his
tit.
"Why Mike:" exclaimed his wife,
"what are ye wearin' thot murnful
thlc? for?"
"I'm wearin' It for your first hus
band." replied Mike firmly. I'm sor
ry he's dead."
One Reason.
"That house that you finished a few
weks aso is the biggest of the lot,"
said the real estate agent "Perhaps
that's why It's so hard to find a ten
att." "Yes." answered the builder, "It's
last but not leased."
THE IRONY OF FATE.
"How is Bogg's new life preserver
project progressing?"
"He has been unable to float It"
Potential.
Tbe country parson was condoling
with the bereft widow.
"Alas!" be continued earnestly, "I
cannot tell you how pained I was to ;
learn that your husband had gone to j
heaven. We were bosom friends, but
weichall never meet aealn." I
Why He Knew.
"Do you know," said a Sunday
school teacher addressing a new pupil '
In the Infant class, "that you have a
soul?"
"Course I do," replied the little fel
low, placing his hand over hit heart
"I can feel it tick."
All Was Well.
He had lent her his stylographlc
pen and she commenced to write a
letter.
She Oh, It writes beautifully. I de
clare I'm in love with this pen.
He I'm in love with the holder.
She saw the point
Drawing-Room Gossip.
Lady of House Have you been lis
tening to what we were saying, An
na? Servant You do me an injustice,
madam. What you were telllDg I al
ready knew a long time ago.
Infant Terrible.
Nephew (to aunt who has come on
a visit) You have a grip and two
packages In each hand, auntie."
Aunt Isn't that all right?
Nephew Yes; but papa said you
always came empty-banded.
Telling Bad Eggs.
"What's the best way to tell a bad
egg?"
"I don't know, but I would suggest
that If you have anything really Im
portant to tell a bad egg, why break
It gently."
Getting Him Classified.
"What sort of an after-dinner speak
er Is Bllggins?"
"One of the kind who start in by
saying they didn't expect to be called
on, and then proceed to demonstrate
that they can't be called off."
Not Political Talk.
She You never hear of women
speaking from the rear platform of a
car.
He Oh, I don't know! I've heard
'em saying things to the conductor,
all right!"
YOUR OBEDIENT 8ERVANT.
Mistreat I thought I toll ytn aot
to let the clock run down.
Maid Servant I didnt lot It run
down, Mum, I stopped It
Everything In tht Tobacot Lint.
Joker Do you keep smoktltss to
banco? 1
Clerk Sure we do.
Joker What kind It itT
Clerk Chewing tobacco, of coursa
TRAFFIC IN SACRED OFFERINGS
One of tht World's Coarsest Vocation
j It that of Dealing In Second
J hand Fyneral Emblems.
! One of the coarsest vocations ts
: traffic In second hand floral offerings
I to the memory of the dead, says the
New York Press. The men who art
, engaged In the cold-blooded business
; drive from cemetery to cemetery and
i load Into the trucks faded and rusty
gates ajar, broken columns, lyres,
j wreathes, hearts and pillows. Hun-
dreds and thousands of them art
tossed Into the trucks as carelessly
and rudely as if they never had been
bedewed with tears, embalmed with
sighs and hallowed by sacred memo
ries. The foundation of all elaborate and
expensive floral designs tor funeral
purposes Is a wire frame. Enormous
sums are spent annually by New
Yorkers for such offerings to ba
placed upon tht graves of relatives or
friends. In specia. Instances, where
tht designs are large and heavy, steel
rods are used in their construction.
Those frames cost good money when
tbe florist buys them and after he has
covered them with flowers and trail
ing vines be Increases the price sev
eral fold, knowing that In time of
grief mankind Is not prone to hag
gle about the coi;t of flowers. Second
hand frames ire loSnitely cheaper
thaD new ones. Cleared of the faded
flowers and leaves, stripped of tht
fine wire and string which were used
to bind the stems, and then dipped
In green paint, the old frames are as
good as new ones, and no one knows
the difference.
Tip saw a wagon after it had made
a tour of cemeteries out in Queens.
It was a two-horse truck. From the
top of Its body standards ran up five
or six feet Within that large space
hundreds of second-hand funeral of
fering frames were packed. On top
was an especially large frame. On its
apex was a vhite dove, tbe wings
flapping violently to every lurch of
th truck as It rattled over the cob
bles. Curly Hair f.'eans Abitinacy.
The curly-baired man uttered an
exclamation of amazement
"Strange." l.o said, "I have been
drawn for juries time and again, but
have never served. They always chal
lenge me. I wonder why?"
"Is Is your curly hair," said a law
yer. "A curly-headed man kills a
jury. He always causes It to disa
gree." "It is the Gospel truth," the lawyer
persisted. "Curly-heads are as ob
stinate as mules. They think they
know it all. They disagree with every
body. "It Is because," he hastened to add.
"their curly hair makes them so good-V
looking. In childhood they are spoil
ed by their parents, and In maturity
women spoil them, falling in love with
them on every side. So they become
conceited. They disagree with every
body. Lawyers the world over recog
nize that as jurymen they would nev
er do."
From Gold to Copper.
There Is no clearer example of the
mining of tbe new day than these
great copper camps set down in the
heart of the old time gold country.
Gold mining meant fortunes to the
few; the Argonauts came and gather
ed their millions and left the land al
most as wild and unconquered as they
found It Few permanent towns and
cities mark their trail. But copper
enlists an army In its service; It sets
big buildings rocking with the roar of
machinery where the gold hunter
pitched his tent and builds its rail
roads where he packed his mule
trains. Science steps down from a
Pullman now where Romance tramped
with blanket roll and rifle and gold
pan, and telephone and telegraph
wires follow the trails of tbe ex
press riders. Out We3t
Another Insomnia Cure.
For sleeplessness fill a hot water
bottle and place It under the ankles;
it works better there than at the soles
of the feet Put a rather small amount
of very cold water In another rubber
bottle and lay It on the head. The
cold water it more comfortable than
ice, which seems exciting, rather than
soothing.
At first, says a woman who has
tried this cure, I would get to sleep
in about an hour and wake again as
the water heated. The cold water
would have to be changed four or five
times during the night; then onca
changing was enough, and now if tht
brain begins to spin after I lie down
for sleep I put on the cold water bottlt
and am asleep soon for the whole
night Harper's Bazar.
Characteristics of Dutch Painters.
Perhaps this might be defined as a
capacity for honest seeing and for
honest doing, and certainly it was in
this way that the moral character of
the Dutch displayed itself. It waa
equally a notable distinction of tht
Dutch painters. As a school, they
were unanimous In choosing for their
subject life: the life about which they
knew most and in which they were
most Interested their own. They
represented it with straight forward
ness and sincerity. Thus, with few
exceptions, their motive was Biinply
and sincerely realistic, and at the
same time their brushwork was ex
traordinarily skillful. Charles H. Cat
fin's "The Story of Dutch Painting" in
Bt Nicholas.
Very Touching.
"I taw Mrs. Quiver this morning.
Sht had rttcived notice to select an
other abode on account of her chil
dren, and she was a picture of woe."
"Ah I A moving picture?"
Notes and
Comment
Of Interest to V(omea Readers
MADE WITH CHEESE.
A Number cf Goo DUhsa for Lunch
eon or Supper.
Cheets and Nut Sandwiches. Chop
pecan, hickory or English walnuts
ssial!: n ix the nuts Into an equal bulk
of cream or neufchatel cheese, add a
dah of paprika, and use In spreading
brrad prepared for lacdwiches. A
heart leaf of lettuce, tipped In French
dressing, may be placed between th"
two pieces of b.eid.
Cheese Relish. Cut "one-quarter
J tojr.d of cheese lrito slices; put into a
frying pan. pour over it one largo
cap of milk Into which has been rr.lx
ed one-half teaspoonful of dry mil
turd and a pinch of salt; add a p'eco
of butter size of a walnut; stir all tho
tiue; have ready some cracker
crumbs; sprinkle ther:i ir.to the above
mixture; wh;n thoroughly mixed turn
into a warm dl3h and serve. N.co io:
luncheon.
Chccie Patties. One pound cf
chc?se. one-half cup butter, two tv. ;
half curs cf f.our, one-h: '.f teiiroo
ful salt two eg?s. beaten thoraugMy:
then add other Ingredients. Hoi! o.:!
tbout as thick as pie crust; rut out
and bake in a hot oven to a so'.ilei
brown.
Ccalloped Cheess. 7t'.:e four riirei
of bread, remove the cru3t, and bui.t."
cich slice, and pn In a butiercd l."'.
Ing dish In layers, then chop one-quarter
pound chceFO and sprinVile over it
foae salt and pepper. Mix four we'l
beaten eggs with three cops of mi'.k,
r.nd pour over the bread and ehto-e.
Ua';e In a hot oven as you wou'. 1
bread pudding.
Cheese Straws. One ci:p of flou ',
two cups grated cheese, one teaspoon
ful butter, pinch of salt, one scant ten
spoonful baking powder; mix v.ith
water and roll out like pie crur.t; tit
!a str!p3 and bake a l'.gn. brown. Nice
tvi'.h Falad.
Cheese Fondu. One cup of grour.d
crackers, one cup milk, three-fourths
cup cheese, two eggs, whites and
yolks beaten separately light; stir a l
together and bake In a quick oven;
serve Immediately.
The "Oblong Woman."
The decision has been arrived tt
among certain makers of high-class
ready-to-wear suits and dresses that
"the oblong woman" Is to continue,
and hipless dress forms will be tin
feature of future wearing apparel of
this class. Among Individual makers,
however, practically nothing but th)
princess dress obtains, but It Is sj
varied that each ont seems to be i;l
a class by Itself.
Some are so severely simple that
they really take the place of tha
tailored suit Many are "oblong," but
many, too, are fitted to the figuri
quite to the hip line.
She Learned Something.
The "Talk to Mothers" was over,
and the earnest settlement worker
was having an Informal chat with tha
members of her audience over a cup
of tea.
"I never come here but what I hear
something real useful," said the moth
er of six small Doughertys.
"I'm glad to hear that." said the
oettlement worker, cordially. "Was
there really anything to help you to
l3y? I felt so tired, and what I said
r"ned very stupid."
"Indeed, twas fine," Mrs. Dougher
tv assured her. "And when you
pnoke about the difference between
children and the difference between
Plants, you said, 'You put your helio
tropes and geraniums In the sun to
prow, but the fuchsia needs t
shnde.' says you. And there I've pot
a lovely fuchsia In a presont on " v
blrthdny, nnd I rover knew whnt n(ld
It to be RptUnc so noor-lnoMnfr, nn'l
'tis bpcr'isvl'v I'M It rl-hf out li
the sun! You'll tiv--r find mo tniss
Ine ono of the "'..!:.. u . Ichors' un
!es I'm si:!- m "jt:." YcUh'a
Companion.
The Kind You Have Always
In use for over 30 years
7
and
rtff'J1. "ona! supervision since Its Infancy.
Allow no one to deceive vou in thla.
All Counterfeits, Imitations and M Jost-as-good" are but
Experiments that trifle with and endanger the health of
Infants and Children Experience against Experiment
What is CASTORIA
Cofitorla Is a harmless substitute for Castor Oil, Pare
gorlc, Drops and Soothing Syrups. It Is Pleasant It
contains neither Opium, Morphine nor other NarcothV
substance. Its age is its guarantee. It destroys Worms
and allays Feverlslmess. It cures Diarrhoea and Wind
Colic. It relieves Teething Troubles, cures Constipation
and Flatulency. It assimilates the Food, regulates tha
Stomach and Dowels, giving healthy and natural sleep.
The Children's Panacea The mother's Friend.
GENUINE CASTORIA ALWAYO
JO
Bears the
The Kind You Me Always Bought
In Use For Over 30 Years.
twi etirMun eeuMwr, Tt murr.v mrn ct. New vo.n cm.
BIG OFFER
To All Our Subscribers
The Great
AMERICAN FARMER
Indianapolis. Indiana.
The Leading Agricultural Journal of tha
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The American Farmer is the only Literary Farm Journal pub
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states. It trives tbe farmer and his family crrvotVi;
w
about aside from the humdrum
Every Issue Contains an Original Poem by SOLON G00DE
WE MAKE THE EXCEPTIONAL OFFER OF
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This unoaralleled nffpr io
-11 1 1 1 , 7,
SiSeTfJSd""
THE COLUMBIAN,
Only a litii.k ff.n i
niaybfthe beginning of an obstinute
cane of Nasal ('Htnrrh.
invader with Ely's Cream Balm ap-
pneu wiraigni 10 me inflamed Htuttea
up air-passages. Price 60c. If you
urefer to us an ntomr ,kIi f,,r I I...
dv Ami will ri.l vn.. of nut.rPh i.
fever. Noeoeain to IipkwI n i.POUllt'llI
habit. No mercury to drv ud these.
cretiou. Price 75c, with npraying
ti.be. All druggists, or mailed liy El y
Broo., 60 NVarreu Htreet, New Yo'rk.
Treepass Notices.
Card siens ,NoTresMssincr, tnr
sale at this office. They are orint-
ed in accordance with tbe late act
of 1903. Price 5 cents each, tf
'A Dronhet U without.
own country," nnoled the Wise Guy.
, me nimpie JHUg, ' and
the worst of his predicament is that he
can se'doiu aiford to go abroad."
CASTORIA
For Infants and Children.
The Kind You Have Always Bought
Bears the
Signature of
Bought and which has been
has borne tho signature of
has been made under his per
Signature of
7 ""ii-liillir IU llllUaw
of routine duties.
One: THE COLUMBIAN
and THE AMERICAN FARMER
miA f n .. -
i.v w an new suDscriDers, ana
andrenew w,thin lhirty day'
Bloomsbunr, Pa.
Don't forget that Dr. Pierce's Favor
ite Prescription, for woman's weak
nesses and .delicate ailment, Is not a
patent or secret medicine, being the
j ''Favorite Prescriptiou" of a regular
! educated and graduated physician, en
! gaged in the practice of bis chosen
I tlmt " Ingredient are primed IN
HLAIN ENGLISH 011 everv hottlf-wran-
J xr; that it is the only medicine espe.
ciauy ucsigneti ror lite cure ot woman's
diseases that contains 110 alcohol, and
the only one that has a professional
endorsement worth more than all the
so-called "testimonials" ever published
for other medicines. Send for these
endorsements hey are kkek for the
asking.
A little book of some of the-;e en
dorsements will be sent to any address,
post-paid, and absolutely kkkk if you
remiest same by tal card or letter,
of Dr. It. V. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y.
If you sutler from periodical head
ache, backache, dizziness, palnordrag
ging down sensation low down in the
abdomen, weak back, have dissgrei-able
and weakening, catarrhal, pelvic dralu,
or are in distress from being long ou
your feet, then you may be sure of Len
rttt from taking Dr. J ierce's Favorite
Prescription.
Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets--the
best laxative and regulator of the bow
els. They invigorate stomach, liver
and bowels. One a laxative; two or
three a cathartic.
A fine new line of Wedding in
vltations just received at this office.