Real Luck
In Loyg
-mi an-
"I haven't any lurk!" cried Kitty,
flinging the cards on the piazza table
and leading the way to the hammock.
"Not at cards," 1 suggested, consol
ingly; "but In love"
"I don't see It," she remarked, petu
lantly, disposing her ruffled skirts to
the best advantage above her red kid
ties.
"And yet," I sighed, settling myself
comfortably on the turf at her feet,
"you are looking r'fht at me!"
Kitty smiled and shrugged her
shouders.
"Luck In love, Mr. Curtis," she de
clared, sweetly, "consists In getting
somebody you want."
"Not at all," I objected, serenely
lighting my pipe. "It's Just the oilier
way."
"What!"
"Getting somebody who wants you,"
I explained briefly.
"But" Kitty st up and gazed at
tue In astonishment "anybody can do
that!" 6he exclaimed, scornfully.
"Anybody can become President," I
retorted, laconically, "but most of
them don't. Luck In love, as In any
thing else. Is merely the result of us
ing common sense In in the choice of
your opportunities."
Kitty sniffed cynically and leaned
back In the hammock ngain.
"But suppose," she objected, looking
at me impertinently through lowered
lashes, "there isn't any choice in
Jiose."
"There always Is the choice," I ro
.nrned, pulling gently on my pipe, "be
tween marrying some nice, common
place person who adores you and
chasing an Ideal, which, even if you
attain it, usually turns out to have
feet of clay and generally ends by
keeping you under thope feet. The
trouble with most women is that they
spend their youth waiting until all the
alee men have passed by" I looked
at Kitty accusingly "in the hope that
some Impossible Prince Charming will
come along and crown them queen of
bis heart But the Bad part of it is
that the Prince Charmings want all
the crowns and halos for themselves.
Xany a woman has married her ideal
inly to discover that she had tied her
nUt to an egotist, with the theories
f Turk, instead of taking a com
fortable everyday man" '
rWho ate with bis knife," broke in
TOry scathingly.
"And would wait on her like a
Jave," I protested. 1
"And didn't know a Van D.ke from
t chxomo."
"And would pay for her tailored
"rocks with glee."
"And used two ner;r.iives and a
toothpick."
"And would wa"; the baby at nights
'.ui get up on winter mornings to
urn on the steam heat and "
"Oh, well," interrupted Kitty de
"antly, "men are Just as unreason i
Me. The average man always imagines
e wants some woman who doesn't
ant him. He will pass by all the
. . ice. cozy, suitable little eyes who
vould give their eyes for the privi
?ge of adoring him and doing his
.-rands, and mending his socks and
' taking life a downy couch for him,
ad will spend years in pursuing soma
- 'usive creature, whose very distance
ad indifference constitute her en
lantment. But," she added hastily,
t don't blame them. I can't think of
lything worse than being married .to
mebody whom you don't love."
"Try being married to somebody
Ao doesn t love you," I suggested la
?nically. "It may be hard to have
sit opposite a man with no ideals
3d a pug nose three times a day at
eals; but it's not half so hard as
tting there alone, while your Prince
harming Is off amusing himself with
mebody else. It may seem appalling
i spend all your evenings in the com
ny of somebody who doeBn't partlcu
rly Interest you and whose most bril
nt remark is that the weather U
le and that stocks are going up; but
' 'a better than spending your night
;tening for the key in the lock and
uncertain step on the stair."
Kitty put out one red kid toe and
'shed the hammock vigorously.
"You talk," she exclaimed Indignant
'. "Just as If lovo couldn't be mutual."
"Love," I returned gravely, biowln.5
wreath of smoke in the air, "Is a
rfectly balanced Ecalc. When one
!e goes down the other tips up In
oportlon. You've merely got to
oose which side you'll weigh in on.
en it comes to matrimony wheth-
- you prefer giving or taking" '
'And giving." cried Kitty trlumph-
:ly, "is the greatest Joy of love."
Yes," I agreed shortly, "In poetry
t Curing the honpymoon. But when
cornea down to deciding who is go-
: to get up and make the f.re and
e the milk off the dumb waiter on
d mornings it's it's quite differ-
No, I don't see," retorted Kitty
imptly. "Why can't two peoplt
o marry for love divide the sacrl
s and the money and the pleasure
mlly?"
Because we aren't bu'lt that way,
nppose," I returned sadly. "Matri
ny is a bargain, and somebody has
to get the bargain. The other
st take the leavings and be satis-
Kni, after all," sighed Kitty,
lghtfully, "It IS an equal division
' one gets his ideals and the other
s all the comfort and satisfaction
of the affair," . t
'Tea," I agreed, "one has his
. k. aana, eves. If they turn out to ba
uiftiiuiiiuv, and the other has the
best of everything on the table. It
Just depends on what you consider
'luck.' There will always bo plenty
of tools In the world who will cling to
the belief that happiness consists in
making a martyr of oneself. Look at
the poor little women wearing out
their hands and hearts, slaving for
big, brutal chaps, who accept their
adoration with a yawn and one eye
on the newspaper; and at the misera
ble, overworked men, slaving them
selves into nervous prostration to buy
frocks and hats for their wives to
wear for other men. It's the folly of
the idealist that gives the common
sense people a chance for their luck."
"Yes," sighed Kitty, "but I wish you
hadn't told me. You've taken all the
glamour off and rubbed off all the gilt
and closed up all the gateways to hap
piness and "
"What!" I sat up In astonishment.
Well," said Kitty, pouting, "if you
can't be happy without the person you
love and can't be happy with him "
"Be happy with the person who
loves you!" I Interrupted promptly.
"I can't!" sighed Kitty again, gaz
ing pensively at the horizon.
"I've given you plenty of chances."
I said reproachfully.
Kitty sat up so suddenly that the
hammock squeaked in protest.
"Do you think," she cried vehement
ly, "that I'd spend my days sitting at
the foot of a throne?"
I puffed my pipe and remained dis
creetly silent
"Why don't you marry that Collins
girl?" asked Kitty, suddenly leaning
forward with Inspiration in her eyes.
"Why should I marry her?" I de
manded. "She adores you," said Kitty.
"Humph!"
"Or the red-haired Miss Brlggs,"
went on Kitty enthusiastically, "or
Catherine Pelham, or Delia Martin, or
Gertie Craig, or"
"In heaven's name!" I protested, "I
don't want any of them."
"But they all want you," declared
Kitty sweetly, "and they would all
wear out their hearts and hands pol
ishing your halo and lacing your
shoes and "
"I don't want anybody to lace my
shoes," I objected. "I want"
"You're passing all the nice girls
by," persisted Kitty sadly.
"Not all," I protested hopefully.
"And you'll miss your luck in love."
"What!"
"Pursuing an ideal."
I dropped my pipe.
"Oh, well," I said after I had recov
ered the meerschaum and my com
posure. "It's different In my in our
case."
"It's always different In 'our case,"
sighed Kitty. "But," she added, "if
your ideal is is anything like me"
"She is," I exclaimed hastily, "exact
ly like you."
"You'll never have to lace her shoes,
nor slave to pay for her hats, nor wait
on her, nor be an object of charity,
nor"
"Why not?" I demanded.
"Because," explained Kitty, rising
and shaking out her ruffles, "shell
marry her own ideal."
"Kitty!" 1 cried, "give me a
chance "
"Yes," retorted Kitty sweetly, "I'm
going to give you a chance to marry
somebody who adores you."
"What!"
"And who will mend your socks and
run your errands and give you tne
Beat nearest the radiator and bore
you to death"
"Kitty! Kitty!"
"And I wish you luck," finished Kit
ty, holding out her hand, "in love!"
The Real Cinderella.
Cinderella's real name was Rhod
ope, and she was a beautiful Egyp
tian maiden who lived 670 years be
fore the common era, and during the
reign of Psammetlcus, one of the
twelve kings of Egypt.
One day she ventured to go in bath
ing in a clear stream near her home,
and meanwhile left her shoes, which
must have been unusually small, lying
on the bank. An eagle passing above
chanced to catch sight of the little
sandals, and, mistaking them tor a
toothsome tidbit,, pounced down and
carried off one In his beak.
The bird then unwittingly played
the part of fairy godmother, for, fly
ng directly over Memphis, where
King Psammetlcus was dispensing
justice, It let the shoe tall right into
the king's lap. Its size, beauty and
flaintlness Immediately attracted tho
royal eye, and the king, determined
upon knowing the wearer of so cun
ning a shoe, sent throughout all his
kingdom In search of the foot that
would fit It.
As In the story of Cinderella, the
messengers finally discovered Rhod
ope. fitted the shoe and carried her
In triumph to Memphis, where she be
came the Queen of King Psammetlcus.
Afraid It Would Be Mluarf.
Tommy learned to swim In Huck
In's Cove, an arm of the sea. Conse
quently when he went at his father's
Invitation, to the swimming-pool of
his father's city club he felt cramped
somehow and afraid of getting In the
way.
After a while that feeling wore off.
He began splashing about and doing
a few tricks that he thought his father
might not know. Suddenly his head
and shoulders emerged from the wa
ter. "O daddy," he said. In an anxious
whisper, "I've swallowed some of the
water! Do you think they'll mlndf"
A Distinction.
ProSDective Tenant Haw man
families does this apartment building
accommodate T
Truth-loving Landlord It has room
iot rorty-two.
THE COLUMBIAN,
WILLING TO SERVE.
Judge's Suspicion Justified by Tales
man's Confession,
Walter C. Goodson, an attorney of
Macon, Mo., attended Circuit Court at
Oskaloosa, la., one day this week, and
noticedsomelnterestlng features which
differed from the Missouri practice.
"On the day of opening of court the
Judge lines up the petit Jury and asks
If there are any members who want to
be excused," said Mr. Ooodson. "The
day I was there every man with one
accord began to excuse himself. One
said he had Just purchased a farm Hnd
that he had to start his hands fixing
It up. Another said he was a candy
salesman and that, his house would
fire hlra If he didn't keep on the road.
,A great big woodsman said he was
unable to read and write well and that,
he wasn't certain he knew enough to
be n Juror.
"Fully half of the men summoned
had one reason or another for tliern
to serve. Later the Judge Investigated
the excuses and found some of them
good and others not so good. Where
the excuse was flimsy he made tho
man slay on.
"One of the lawyers un there told
me this story. A lineup of Jurymen
appeared before a certain Judge Just
the same as on the day I was there
and every man explained that It would
mean disaster to him to serve at that
term of court all but a little fellow
at the tall end of the line. This man
was a hunter and he had lived in a
cabin on the creek all his life.
" 'You have no excuse to offer?' ask
ed the surprised Judge.
"'No, sir."
"Haven't got a sick mother-ln-lrtw
needing your attention?'
"'No. sir; I ain't married.
" "What about your chop?'
"'Don't raise anything."
" 'No fence to fix up?'
" 'Haven't got a fence on the plnce.'
" 'You think you can spare the time
to serve on a Jury two weeks?'
" 'Sure.'
"The Judge sat a while and mprtl.
tated. Reaching over he whispered
to the clerk, who shook his head In
perplexity. Then the Judge's curiosity
goi me Detter or him.
" 'You're the only man who's got
the time to serve your country as a
Juryman,' he said. 'Would you mind
leinng me now it happens?'
"'Sure not.' said the little man
promptly. 'I heard you was going to
try jane killings this term. He shot
a dog o' mine once.' "
No Hope for Him.
With the shock of a sudden discov
ery, Mr. Benson awoke one day to
me ract that the hair was growing
thin on the tOD of his head. He lnnkt.,1
at himself In a folding mirror, and was
nornnea to nna that there was a bald
spot, farther back, as laree an n all.
ver dollar, of which nobody had ever
ioia mm.
"This will never do!" he said. "I
must get that hair back."
He began at once. For several
months he used a hair restorative
which was highly commended. It did
no good.
He tried another, then another, and
still another, but all to no nurnosp.
These preparations had cured many
persons or incipient Baldness accord
ing to the testimonials, but non of
them had any effect on him. As a
last resort, he consulted a specialist.
Tne specialist treated him for six
months. At the end of that time tho
hair on top of his head was nearly all
gone.
"I'll have to hunt up another one,"
he said.
One morning, while going down
town in a street-car he ohsprvnd n
stout, prosperous-looking gentleman
wno wore an unmistakable wig on his
head.
"Who Is that man?" he asked of the
passenger silting next to him.
"Don't you know?" said the other.
"That's the rich Colonel Stubbs."
"I've often, heard of him. They say
he Is Immensely rich."
"Fifty million dollars."
"Fifty millions!" reflected Mr. Ben
son. "If there was any earthly cure
for baldness, he wouldn't be wearing a
wig! I'll give it up."
Knew Their Author.
In the Beecher family the name of
Mrs. Stowe was often quoted to tho
rising generation as one having au
thority. She was also quoted ad nau
seam, it would seem, from a story told
by The Woman's Journal. On one oc
casion a grandnlece of Mrs. Stowe he
came very angry at a playmate, and.
stamping her foot, said: "I hate you,
and I don't want anything more to
do with you, nor your man servant,
nor your maid servant, nor your ox,
nor your ass." Her mother sternly
reproved her, asking her if she knew
what she was savinc. Little MIks
Beecher promptly replied. "Yea, tho
Ten Commandments." "Well, do you
know Who wrote them?" Th ehllrt.
looking disgusted, answered: "Good
ness, yes! Aunt Harriet did, 1
s'pose."
Asking Too Much.
I believe there la a story told of
Mark Twain that in youthful days, be
ing sent out by his mother to weed
a certain flower bed, and finding more
weeds than flowers, he came back in
and asked If he might not "flower the
weed bed."
Our little Alfred probably has as
great an aversion to work ai had th
youthful Clemens. Admonished to pull
ome raioer large weeds In the back
yaTd, after a faint-hearted lift on one
of them, he shouted:
"Mamma, how do you think I'm go
ing to pull these weeds when the
wixole world I hitched onto them?"
BLOOAlSBUEsQ. t
TALK 10 MARS AT
AGHAI
Only 35,000,000 Miles Away
and Communication Can Be
Established by Mirrors
PLANET WILL BE CLOSE SHORTLY
Martians Tall, Thin, Furry and Have
Big Heads Columbia's Astrono
mers Admit This Much, but Are not
Sure They Would Know Our Signal
Boston. Men on enrth mny be able
to comtuunlentc with the Inhabitants
of Mars soon, said Professor William
Henry Pickering of Harvard. This
will bo possible by Hash messages
when that planet approaches to with
in n."i.ono,000 miles of the earth, or 5,
pno.000 miles closer than ever before.
"If there are inhabitants on Mars
who have advanced as far ns man has
and who are provided with telescopes
ns powerful as we to-day possess,
they could easily perceive our signals
and undoubtedly could recognize anj
answer them.
"My plan of communication would
require the use of a series of mir
rors so arranged as to present a single-reflecting
Btirface toward the plan
et. As the surface necessary for re
flecting the sunlight 3'i,000,000 miles
would have to be more than a quarter
of a mile long, a single mirror would
not be practicable. We would have
to use many of them.
"These mirrors would all have to be
attached to one great axis parallel to
the axis of the earth, run by motors
and so timed as to make a complete
revolution every twenty-four hours,
thus carrying the reflecting surface
A Martian According to Dr. Mitchell's
Description.
around with the axis once a day and
obviating the necessity of continually
readjusting it to allow for the move
ment of the planets.
"As far as the people of Mars are
concerned this reflector would not,
of course, be apparent to the naked
eye, but through lenses of such magni
tude as we have to-day the reflection
would be easily discernible and would
undoubtedly attract attention at once.
"The best time for transmitting
such a reflection would be In the
morning, a little after sunrise. The
cost of such an undertaikng would be
about $10,000,000."
New York City. When a reporter
Invaded the astronomical sanctum of
Columbia University to learn how
star-gazers there regarded Prof. Wil
liam Henry Pickering's plan for com
municating with Mars, Prof. Howard
Jacoby, head of the department, and
I r. S. A. Mitchell, his associate, were
Just Lowing out avenerable gentle
man who hud Inquired as to the
weight of holes In cheese.
"His problem was little less obtuse
than Borne propounded to us concern
ing Mars." smiled Prof. Jacoby, "but
we are always glad to answer ques
tions, as discussion stimulates inter
est in astronomy. Now, you ask If
we might signal to Mars by projecting
a reflected ray of light from a mirror
or Berles of mirrors a quarter of a mile
in area. This is scientifically possible,
but impractical. Why not wait for
the Martians, If there be any, to Elg
nal us? Would it not then be time
enough to rig up an answering au-
, paratus?"
"Quite the correct Idea," agreed Dr.
Mitchell.
The professors were asked what a
Martian ought to look like.
"Well, to begin with he would be
tall and spindle-shanked," replied Dr.
Mitchell. "It Is a certainty that there
are no fat men on Mars. The at
traction of gravity is two-thirds less
there than here, hence he would grow
upward Instead of sideways. He
would make a great Marathon runner,
as the resistance Is less. His head
would be Immense when compared to
the diameter of his body and his eyes
might be as big as saucers. As I'm
creating this Martian I'm going to
have him to my own liking.
"Being exceedingly brainy he has
probably discovered a way to per
petuate his kind through the Incuba
tor process. I don't believe the xaea
Bra Wfih.fnMa4 Ht.t V. .. W
I v-vv., uuv mo yniuwi;
grow a fine crop of fur."
$10,000,000
FACTS ABOUT ARSENIC EATERS.
Those Who Make the Drug Art Com
pelled to Eat It.
"The eating of arsenic," said a toxl
cologlst, or student of poisons, "Is
common In Styrla. Tho Styrlans say
that nrsenlc makes one plump and
comely, and gives one strength for
great exertions, such ns running or
mountaln-climbln,';.
"Styrla, In Austria, gives the world
vast quantities of arsenic; the manu
facture of this drug Is, Indeed, he
nia'n Rtyrlun Industry. They who
make arsenic eat It, as a rule; for
tliey say lhat only the arsenic (Ucr
can withstand the arsenic fumes.
"These makers and eaters of the
drui? are comely. They have n bloom
ing and clear color. They look much
younger than they are.
"The foreman In a certain arsenic
factory told nie that In his boyhood,
when he first came to that plant, he
was advised to begin to eat nrsenlc
lest his hep.lth suffer from ihu finm s.
He did begin, and his first two or
three small doses gave him a sh;u,i
pain, like a burn. In the stomach, and
this pain was-followed by tremendous
lumper and a violent, disagreeable ex
citement. Hut as his doses Increased
In frequency and In nzo, their effect
became pleasant. There w.ijj no lommr
pain or excitement; there was a rav
enous appetite and a mood of jjyotu
Activity wherein the youth could do
three men's work.
"This chap, by the time he got to
be thirty, was taking four grains of
orrenlc a day. He looked at thirty
Wih his clear pink and white color,
no more than twenty-three. He wa.i
robust as a blacksmith. But re Faid
he would die at forty-five or so
Ff.id all the Styrlan arsenic caters
died at that age.
"The drug Is a preservative, rnd In
f.tyrla, when graves are opened,
bodies are found to be as fresh Fix
or seven years after Interment as on
tho day they were lowered Into the
earth.
"The arsenic eater like the opium
eater. Is a total abstainer. Alcohol In
any form is abhorrent to him. If he
tries to abandon the drug, his heart
weakens, he has fainting fits, he takes
to his bed."
Tree a Novel Bell Tower.
Church authorities, like private in
dividuals, have to make the best of
circumstances', and the most pictur
esque feature of a little mission
The Novel Bell Tower.
church in German South Africa Is Its
bell tower. The chapel is of the sim
plest style of architecture, and no
where In it was there a place to hang
a bell. A bell has conscience-awakening
qualities In places not so thickly
settled or so given to late hours that
its effects are altogether as moral
as might be desired, and a near-by
tree solved the bell-tower problem.
The bell was hung to one of its lower
branches, where It swings free wnen
rung, and the rope Is tied to the trunk
to keep It quiet when not In use. The
ni!ss.ion Is In WIndhut, the chief city
of this part of Africa and the seat of
the Governor. The fact that a bell
hung In the open in this manner is
left alone speaks well for the German
South African small boys.
Some Interesting Old Dictionaries.
A curious collection of old diction
aries occupies a top shelf in a Phlla
delphian's library. These dictionaries
derive their Interest from the errors
they contain. Thus, in the Bailey dic
tionary of 1C74 the word "collbus" Is
defined as follows:
"Colibus A humming bird, which
makes a noise like a whirlwind,
though It Is no bigger than a fly; It
feeds on dew, has an admirable beauty
of feathers, and a scent as sweet as
that of musk or ambergris."
The same authority thus describes
the lorlot, or oriole:
"Lorlot A bird that, being looked
upon by one that has yellow Jaundice,
cures tho person and dies Itself."
Dclplno's dictionary (1703) says ot
the leopard:
"Llewpard, or leopard A yellow
beaBt exceedingly swift, subtle and
fierce, and of such a sweet savor that
It allures other beasts to It, by which
means they are caught and devoured."
A Candle Can Burn Outdoors.
Thi candle shade covers every
thing candle, candlestick and all. It
Is in use in the West Indies out of
doors and stands about two feet
high, with a thick flange top and
bottom. Made of clear gUss, it some
times has a small p ait tern etched In
It. The candle burns freely Inside
the shade, as no direct draught can
get at it, and It does not drip. It
lasts a long time.
WHAT TO WEAR AND
HOW TO WEAR II
Special Correspondent of Thii
Paper Writes Entertainingly
to Women
LATEST FROM THE METROPOLIS
A Neat Ladies Shrlrtwalst Which C.-.
Be Made Very Economically Hou:.!
Dress that Will Ba Found Conveni
ent and Serviceable Drest for
Little Girl,
One of tho mont populnr designs nj
the sason Is shown In the shlrtwir!M
hero illustrated. The collar is fast p.
ed to the waist with buttons in front
The cuffs are close to the wrist huh
Ladles' Shirt Waist,
button like the collar. Stitching and
folded silk rectangles, in which th
button holes are made, form the only
decoration.
For house wear a dress like this
has many advantages and can be worn
over a waist and skirt. It Is made la
one piece and buttons all the way
down the Bide front and has a fold ot
the same material on the bottom
which extends all the way around ex
A Pretty House Dress.
cept on the front panel. A Duchest
yoke, edged with a band the width ol
the fold on the skirt, adds simplicity
to this dainty house dress. The
sleeves here shown are full length and
finished off with a straight cuff;
can be made elbow length if desired
This is one of the prettiest little
dresses of the season. The yoke and
sleeves are made of sage green cash
mm
' Dress for a Little Girl,
mere, braided with black soutache
The dress iUelf Is navy blue flannel,
trimmed with black braid. The fronts
lap over and fasten with one large
gilt button. JULES THEROW.
The simplest and best lotion for
freckles Is; The juice of pp leaioa,
teaspoonful of powdered borx and
one ot sugar. It may be applied twe
tr three .tines a day.
fill
m