THE COLUMBIAN. BLOOMSBUWJ. tf-i
HEW GOIVIMERCiAL
TRAVELLERS
No Longer Are They Debonair
Mathers and Lady Killers,
But Solid Business Men
AMBASSADORS OF COMMERCE
The New Types are Splendid, Optimit
tlc, Energet'c Fellows Plodding
Cheerily Along Into Every Town
and Hamlet.
Sheffield Ingalls, son of the late and
eloquent Senator Joh.i J. Ingalls, of
Kansas, pays his respects to the Com
mercial Traveler of today In this
irtlele, which appeared as a leader In
ihe Atchison (Kan.) Daily Cham
pion. In these simmering days of com
mercialism when the fight for trade
supremacy Is so uncompromising it is
Interesting t- pause anu reflect upon
the potential agencies that are at
work to keep red-hot the path which
leads to the coveted goal of money
success and regular dividends. In
Ihe development and extension of
'.rade, there appears that, same Indomi
table courage and energy and that
same splendor of genius and power
in the part of its captains, that has
characterized the great leaders in
jvery department of life since the
vorld began to move and throb upon
ts axis. Despite the creation and ir
;nization of gigantic corporations
vlth the object of stifling competition,
Amplifying methods and doing busl
iess on a cheaper scale, ttnre yet re
nalns so many independen concerns
that commercial warfare Is an ever
present reality. So to-day In addition
o the post, the telegraph and the tele
phone, the .business houses of this
country, large ana small, have avail
id themselves of a great array of pro
fessional traveling salesmen, who be
ng armed with samples of their
wares and other proper credentials,
ire delegated to go out Into the world
iDd sell goods.
It is a practice far too common
mong a great many people to make
-hese men the subject of much de
dslon, which upon proper observation
l4 Investigation they would find to
to unjust The Impression Is largely
jased upon old notions of the pro
fessional "drummer." He of an earll-
r day with the waxed mustache, the
wiled hair, the loud clothes, the glass '
diamond and the vulgar, inrinuating
Manner, whose pictures used to ap
rear in the columns of the funny pa
pers. As a class they were "mash
nr" and "lady killers" In those days,
rtth wild, careless n:id unsteady hab
ta. In a mannci they represented
he times. But as conditions changed
this class disappeared and to-day we
i'nd upon the cars and in the hotels
11 over the country a body of self,
-espectlng, serious-minded, modestly
ttired intelligent men who can right
Hilly and quite properly be called en
ays and ambassadors of trade. At
11 hours of the night and day, in sun
iine or in rain, in snow or cloudy
eather you can find these splendid,
ptlmlstic, energetic fellows plodding
uoyantly along Into every town and
r amlet, spreading the gospel of trade
nd contributing of their time and
ilents towards the prosperity and
; uccess of their employers' business,
t so much per month. As a class
e commercial traveler of to-day is a
redltable and desirable citizen. He
i Industrious and temperate. He Is
1e faithful husband of a good wife,
'he proud father of happy children.
!e owns the house he lives in. He
as money in the bank and stock In
le company he tr-vels for. He is up
'ght and square with his fellows and
-j is always a gentleman.
Too Greedy.
Robert Herrick, novelist, said at a
scent luncheon in Chicago:
"There is a type of American wife
'ho, in her greed for display, brings
nhapplneBs on herself. She rather
mlnds me of the fat man aud the
' ible d'hote dinner.
"This man entered a restaurant
nat served a dinner et the fixed price
f 75 cents. He knotted a napkin
bout his neck and fell to heavily so
eavily, in fact, that the waiter, after
: whispered conversation with the
roprletor, approached him and said:
'"Beg pardon, sir, but I'M have to
barge you a quarter extra; you eat
i much.'
"The fat man, red and short of
reath from his excessive gorging,
lid earnestly;
" 'For goodness' sake, don't do that!'
'n nearly dead now from eating 75
nts' worth. If you make me eat
lother quarter I'll bust.' "
A Curloua Storu.
The Queen of Hanover, wife of King
roest Augustus of Hanover (better
lown as the Duke of Ciimhr,.!.
. m of George III.), died at Hanover
ioui i8n or an illness which baffled
e skill of her doctors as to its real
tufle. During her illnea a .ini..
it was consulted, who wrote certain
irious signs and words on th iw-
- .' her bedroom, but although tho..
. ystio words were repeated over and
er again me queen died. .
The, King of Hanover after hli
ife's death gave-ordera that ho
om should always be kept as though
e Queen would sleep tner at night,
ae bed was turned down, tha niiinua
shaken, hot water brought and the
ilntiest slippers laid in readiness for
E10T0R CJUDVENTURES
Automobillsts Are Not Infrequently
Attacked by Animals.
Fortunately for motorists, it Is not
a common occurrence for a cow to
take a flying leap Into their car, as
was the startling experience of a lady
and two gentlemen at Lymlngton, En
gland, recently; but even more alarm
ing adventures occasionally , fall to
their lot.
Not long ago, for Instance, Mine.
Senyer-Rettnque, a well-known singer,
was motoring through a forest when
a wild boar challenged her further
progress. Like the foolish red Indians,
who used to urge their mustangB
against the giant Iron horse of the
prairies, this foolish boar vainly
imagined that he could annihilate the
daring Invader of his forest kingdom.
The result to himself was disastrous,
for he wag speedily resolved into ham
and bacon trifles, what time the car
was gent careering up against a tele
graph pole which was demolished and
injured the lady in its fall. The voca
list felt that she had a grievance
against the owners of the forest; tho
latter wanted damages against her for
the destruction of their boar and tele
graph pole, and their restsctlve claims
are to be adiuriimted on hv n rnurt
of law. t,
A similar fate recently befell a stag
In a forest near Glengariff. The Gaek
war and Maharanee of Kapurthala
were motoring after nightfall through
the forest, when they found them
selves face to face with an angry stag
which, with lowered horns, barred the
way. As the car refused to stop,
much less retreat, the stag charged
full tilt at it. and paid the price of
his misguided valor by dropping dead
with a broken neck.
More alarming still was the adven-
ture of two ladles traveling in a motor
car near Roumaie, on the outskirts of
Paris. A stag that was hard pressed
by the hounds Jumped into the car
for refuge, the dogs clamoring and
leaping around it. But alas; his shift
was short; for the car was stopped,
the ladies made a hurried escape and
the hounds soon disposed of the stag.
A f weeks ago the occupants of a
car traveling at high speed along
a deserted stretch of road be
tween Birmingham and London late
at night saw a large hare racing as
if for life in front of them. Faster
the car went in pursuit and faster the
frightened animal sped until, after the
run had continued for a few miles, it
collapsed and dropped. When the mo
torists stopped they found the hare
lying dead in the roadway, with no ap
parent mark or injury.
Character Books.
The following is a list of Questions
for making a character book:
(1) what is your favorite book?
(2) What is your favorite flower?
(3) What is your favorite color?
(4) What season of the year do vou
like best?
(5) Who is your favorite author?
(6) What hero in fiction do vou Dre-
fer?
(7) What herolm In fiction la vour
favorite?
(8) What is the nicest thin that
ever happened?
(9) What is your favorite sport?
(10) What do you want most in the
world?
(11) What quality do you most ad-
mire in a woman?
(12) What quality do you most ad-
mire in a man?
(13) Who is your favorite poet?
(14) Where would you moat like to
be?
(16) What do you think is the nicest
thing In the world?
(16) Where did you have the beat
time of your life?
(17) What is your favorite occunn..
tlon?
(18) What Is your favorite proverb?
(19) What Is your favorite exclama
tion?
(20) What is your favorite Quota
tion?
Wise and Otherwise.
A stupid man may sin on nurnnon
and yet not have much purpose in his
sins.
When patience has its perfect work.
it does not stop work for shorter
hours.
Genius never stoDa to look at tha
clock. Talent may look, hut not ntnn
Diligence works up to the last second,
ana pernaps a little longer. Indolence
ana us twin, Shirtlessness, like Geni
us, have no use for clocks.
No burglar yet has pleaded that he
entered a Jewelry store thinking it a
watch nouse.
More than one Wall Street stock
king Is made of lamb's wool.
Some men will give assent to a
i i . i
ueuevoiem scneme when it is pro-
posed, but not even one cent after
ward. Evil may be called good, and good
evil; but goods of the drv variety at
least are never called evils, unless
they are out of fashion.
Manuscript is only another word for
handwriting; but a handwritten manu
script gets the cold shake from the
editors.
Three years out of four she may
have to tell him to ask papa; but in
leap year she can be her own popper.
The Explanation.
They passed a magnificent building
during their travels. "That's a fine
house," said Brown to Jones, "and yet
I cannot bear to look at it." "Why
not?" asked Jones. "Why?" repeated
Brown. "Because the owner built it
out of blood, the aches, the groanB of
his fellowmen; out of the grief of
children, and the walls of Women M
"Great Scott!" ixclatmed Jones; "the
Druiei wnat is he a money lender?"
"Oh, no, dear friend; he Is a dentist!"
BANDIT BUSINESS
NOT THRIVING
Present Day Emulators of the
James Boys Now Found
Only in Southwest
ADDED DIFFICULTIES TO TRADE
Still, Present Day Emulators of the
James Brothers and "Black Bart"
Are More Desperate Men Than
Were Their Prototypes.
Though the day of the train robber
and brigand is almost over, occasion
ally a desperate man dons a black
mask nnd tempts Fate In the nrrson
of some haru-hearted, straight-shoot
ing deputy sheriff by sticking the muz-
le or a gun into some engineer's face.
But as a steady business in this coun
try at least, the hold-up man of thir
ty years ago has ceased to exist.
In the United States almost the only
hold-ups reported to-day are from the
Southwest Mexico still has its ban
dits, but an edict issued by President
Diaz two or tnree years ago, ordering
the Rurales to kill, rather than take
the trouble of capturing alive, the
brigands who Infested the mountain
roads has had the desired effect of
decreasing very perceptibly the num
ber of hold-ups reported from that
country.
The present day emulators cf the
James brothers. Younger brothers
and "Black Barta" are more desperate
men than were their prototypes of
thirty years ago. The chances for es
cape of the train robber are many
times less to-day than they were a!
generation ago. Every express and
railroad company has a well-equipped
protective organization of Its own.
The conveniently lonely stretches of
road have given way to towns and set
tlements, in each of which law-abiding
men are ready at an instant's notice
to form a posse and take to the coun
try in pursuit of i. robber.
Despite the added difficulties and
handicaps under which he must work,
however, the bandit does still occa
sionally make his appearance. A rob
bery as daring as any ever perpetrat
ed in the younger days of the West
was reported but a few weeks aao
from the City of Mexico.
A Day car on its way to the T.aa
Grandes Mines in the State of Guer
rero was held up by bandits, three of
the four guards accompanying it were
killed instantly and more than 15..
000 in gold was stolen. The robbery
was committed at a lonely spot on the
road that winds along the foothills
of the Sierra Madre Mountains. The
four men who were riding on the car,
though heavily armed, had but little
chance to offer resistance to the rob
bers. As the car rounded a turn In
the road a perfect rain of bullets that
came from the heavy undergrowth
along the Bide of the mountain, in
stantly killed threa of the men. The
fourth, althougn badly wounded, fired
several snots from his rifle, but when
more than half a dozen masked men
sprang down into the road and sur
rounded the car, he threw ud hla
hands and surrendered. The bandits
made their escape into the mountains
witn their plunder and although the
Ruraks were senc in pursuit they
have not as yet been caught.
The European bandits, who un to
five years ago flourished practically I
unhampered by law, have, like Amerl-1
cans, been forced to become more cir
cumspect in their operations. Up to
about 1902 large bands of robbers in
certain remote regions of Sicily and
the Balkan countries made a practice
of levying on travelers who passed
aiong the mountain roads, seizing the
richer ones and holding them for ran
som. A favorite means of enforcing
and possibly hurrying up the payment
of the money demanded was to send
a finger or an ear of the captive to
the relatives on whom the demand for
money, had been made.
In the past five years, however, the
governments of these countries have
given close attention to policing the
mountain districts so that to-day
brigandage in Europe is no more com
mon than in the United States.
Not a Drummer's Paradise.
A New York comercial traveller on
his first business trip to Europe
writes: "I am glad that I am a buyer
and not a seller out here, and I want
to tell the boys who go on the road
in our beloved country that theirs Is
a life of unalloyed bliss, one continu
ous round of pleasure, in comparison
with that of the drummers on this
side of the big water. We travel from
New York to San Francisco and from
Portland to Key West, and get along
with our own language. One would
have to be a first-class linguist to do
Justice to one-tenth of that territory
here. I met a drummer In Budapest
who was selling for a German con
cern. Besides German, he had to
speak several of the Slavonic tongues,
and when he made his trips to Switz
erland and Italy he had to speak Ital
ian as well. Worst of all, after many
years of work, this man was making
about 3,000 marks a year, and, when
you figure a mark at 25 cents, that is,
not what one might call without fear
of contradiction a 'princely stipend.' "
Our Privileged Classes.
"Ah,"" complained the visiting no
bleman, "but you have no privileged
classes in this country." "We haven't,
enT replied tue prominent citizen
"You ought to be out some night when
. .. .
a an? .?L?eVboyB a tear." ;
THE ARCTIC JTEMPLE OF ICE
Crystal Palace Pound by III Fated
Erlchsen Expedit'on.
Amid the bleak. Icy deserts of
Greenland the survivors of the recent
ill fated Erlchsen expedition discov
ered a sight of ninlestv thnt solaced
them for months of darkness, tedium
and suffering. They found a crystal
PHiace of superhuman architecture
vaster than a dozen cathedrals and
Egyptian temples, resplendent with
jewels and endless decorations of Ice.
Created by nature In a forbidding
wilderness, it frightened the eyes of
the explorers and awed them with un
imagined magnificence. The dreninn
of pets and the fancies of epic bards
were surpassed by this vision of co
lossal loveliness, which the painter
Aehton Krils, a member of the expcdl
tlon, endeavored to carry away for
the benefit of dwellers In civilization
More than a mile in length, the lofty
nave of this Arctic temple of Ice was
pierced at Intervals with windows
through which the glancing sun rays
sparkled on columns and cubes and
immense clusters of stalactites like
pendent Jewels. An iridescent glow,
as If from opals and diamonds, suf
fused the lighter spaces and shaded
Into the bluish twilight which reigned
in solemn transepts. The painter de
spaired of comprehending even the
elusive colors that emanated from
every surface and were infinitely
toned by combination and reflection.
Through the centre of the ice palace
nowed a stream of water, whose oc-
casional ripple nnd splashing fall broke
the majestic silence. The human voIca
reverberated weirdly against the mas
sive walls and the arched roof. A tone
of mystery or of giant power was re
peated by invisible spirits of the
North. Tnere were echoes lik
chimes of bells, matching the fairy
decorations of the nave. A huire dis
sonance caused by the cracking of a
aistant noe rumbled through the cav
ern as If It were the beeinnlne of a
prelude on an organ appropriate for
an Arctic temple. What strains of
might and of brooding softness would
be required in such music!
In habited latitudes the architec
ture of frozen water is regarded as a
pleasing fantasy, something which
lasts a few short months and disap
pears. Far North It la possible that
ice palaces and temples should endure
without change longer than human
structures of stone. The carcasses
of prehistoric monsters have remained
inviolate in Arctic tombs for thou
sands of years, while granite pyra
mids have worn away and Babylonian
civilizations have been hurled deep In
the earth. Some day the world may
decide to store its most valuable rec
ords for posterity at the poles.
Attar of Roses In Bulgaria.
The two plants specially cultivated
in Bulgaria for industrial purposes
are both highly scented, though in dif
ferent ways they are tobacco and
roses.
The great rose plantations are at
Kazanllk, Karlova and Kllssoura, and
the chief kinds grown are the damaBk
and various species of white rosea
The rose growing district comprises
173 villages and 15,500 acres of rose
plantations, and It takes 250 pounds
of roses to make one ounce of pure at
tar of roses.
The ground of a rose plantation Is
prepared very much as for vine grow,
ing, that Is to say, rows of ditches
are made about a foot and a half wide,
and a yard and a half apart; the
bushes are struck In vertically and
well covered with earth and fertilizer.
In a year the bushes are a foot high,
and at the end of the third year the
first rose crop can be gathered. The
life of a rose bush varieB from twen
ty to twenty-five years and then the
old roots are dug out and the garden
is freshly planted.
The rose crop Is gathered at the end
of May, the harvest Is described by eye
witnesses as being a most picturesque
sight. The peasant girls and boys
gather the roses at. sunrise while the
dew is heavy on their leaves, and as
they gather the fragrant blossoms
they sing the quaint Bulgarian folk
songs.
The roses are taken to the distil
lery and distille during the day, and
when the precious attar has been col
lected and bottled It is Bent to Lon
don, Paris and New York.
Worked Hard, Too.
A persistent lawyer who had been
trying to establish a witness's sus
picious connection with an offending
railroad was at last elated by the wit
ness's admission that he "had worked
on the railroad."
"Ah!" said the attorney, with a sat
isfied smile. "You say you have work
ed on the P., T. & X.?"
"Yes."
"For how long a period?"
"Off and on for seven years, or since
I have lived1 at Peacedale on their
line."
"Ah! You say you were in the em
ploy of the P., T. & X. for seven years,
off and on?"
"No. I did not say that I was em
ployed by the P., T. & X. I said that
I had worked on the road, off and on,
for that length of time."
"Do you wish to convey the im
pression that you have worked for the
P., T. & X. for seven years without
reward?" asked the attorney.
' "Absolutely without reward," the
witness answered, calmly. "For seven
years, off and on, I've tried to open
tha windows in the P., T. & X. cars,
and never once have I succeeded."
All In a Name.
Many a young man starting out to
conquer the world considers himself
un Alexander, wnen ne is in reality
but a smart Alec.
BLUEBEARD
ONCE
A
The Original Was Gilles de
Laval, Marshal of France
in the Year of 1492
VVOaSE THAN NURSERY HERO
Clad Always In Sombre Hues, His
Swallowtail Black Beard Gave Him
an Uncanny Appearance Weird
Search for the Philosopher's Stone.
Itluebenrd existed in reality. To be
sure, he had not married seven wives,
and therefore never threatened them
with violent death; still, the enormi
ties of which tills original has been
guilty are not surpassed by the crimes
of our hero of the nursery. The origi
nal Bluebeard was Gilles de Laval,
Lord of Kelltz, who was made Mar
shal of France in 1429, and in the
reigns of Chnrles VI. and VII. distin
guished himself by his bravery against
tho English when they Invaded
France. He was born In tho Custlo
of Macbecoul, In Vendee, in 1404.
There still rise the ruins of a castle,
which even to-day is called In the
whole neighborhood the "Bluebeard
Custle," and the peasants when pass
ing by at night make the sign of the
cross. Its former owner descended
from one of the oldest families, be
longing to the Montmorencles on his
mother's side. He was married at the
age of thirteen, but his wife died in
the same year, and the second wife,
whom he married in the following
year, came to her death soon after
her wedding. In 1420, at the age of
sixteen, he took for his wife Catha
rine de Thouars, a girl of the same
age, who, besides her rich dowry, in
creased his estates by the barony of
Tlffanges. A great military career
opened before the young man, who
fought at the side of Jeannj J'Arc in
all the battles against the English,
and for his patriotism anu heroism he
became Marshal of France. Gilles de
Rets was by no means the ugly, de
monlike looking monster which the
Bluebeard of the fairy tale pictures
of our imagination, but rather a port
ly looking man of high stature and
great muscular strength. Only his
glossy long "blond" hair and his swal
lowtail "Mack" beard gave an uncan
ny Impression. He was clad all In
black. The reflections of this sombre
costume, mingled with those of his
light hair, made his beard appear of a
bluish black color. Hence the sur
name Blue Beard, by which he is
known even to-day in all those parts
of Brittany, Anjon and Vendee, where
the ruins of his castles are still In ex
istence. The fortune of the marshal
was Immense. He owned cities, vil
lages and towns in Brittany, in An
Jou and Vendee, which brought him
an annual Income of 60,000 11 v res,
more than $50,000 in our money. His
personal property was estimated at
$1,000,000, an immense amount in his
time. But all this fortune was sacri
ficed to his passion for art and litera
ture, music and the stage. The ser
vices which he rendered bis country
might have Immortalized his name
had he not forever blotted his glory by
murders, Impieties and debaucheries,
to which ue was led by his pride and
ambition to outdo princes and kings
In magnificence, pomp and power.
In order to build up a new fortune
Gliles became an alchemist. But his
efforts to discover the philosopher's
stone proved vain, and he applied to
magic in order to learn all the secrets
of heaven and earth. In dark caves,
by the light of consecrated candles
and the rising of incense, he would,
under all kinds of magical rlteB and
incantations, Invoke the demons and
even try to conjure Satan in his own
person. He wrote to the Evil One
letters in his own blood, renounced
the safety of his soul, and sold himself
to the devil. But neither the Infernal
spirits nor their commander would
answer him. The marshal despaired
at his failure. There remained but
one means the blood of Innocent chil
dren must surely be a pleasing sacri
fice to the devil and dispose his Sa
tanic majesty in favor of his worship
per. And thus started the series of
murders which Gilles at first commit
ted in honor of the devil, but which
caused him so much pleasure that
later on he killed numerous children
for mere lust of cruelty. He corrupted
young persons of both sexes that he
might attach them to him, and after
ward killed them for the sake of their
blood for his charms and Incantations.
A terror soon spread over the whole
country when everywhere children
disappeared who met their death in
the subterranean dungeons of "Blue
Beard's" castles. Their number is
estimated at from 700 to 800. At length
ne was arrested and, being found guil
ty of numerous atrocities, was sen
tenced, with his two accomplices, to
be burned alive in a field at Nantes
in 1440. Popular tradition confounds
his crimes and atrocities with those
of the nursery Bluebeard. Indeed, tha
real hero of Perrault's story kills his
wives, while nothing of the kind is
known of Gilles, whose wife, by the
way, outlived him by several years,
and contracted another marriage after
hla death. It is, however, likely that the
stories of the terrible marshal were
alive in Perrault's mind when be
transferred this bloody picture from
the grewsome abysses of mediaeval
fantastlcalness Into the purer wprld
of the fairy tale. i
IS
REALTY
LAMB IN WALL .STREET
Plays a Game Whose First Rule H
Doesn't Understand.
The lamb who thinks he ran Rich
money out of Wall Street Is perming
to succeed In his operations only un
til he has enough to make It worth
Jhn while for a professional to get up
and take it from him. Whnt possible
chance has the gambler In such a
can.e na this? Would ho play poker
with no chance of seeing tho curds
dealt, or of knowing how many card
his opponents draw, and with mure
than a suspicion that the cards ure
marked? Yet he does worso than
that when he deals In stocks on a
margin through the New York Stwfc
Exchange. Does he ever realize tlut
the winnings In the game played .hrre
depend on his own losses, and Di.it
the broker who receives his money on
margin knows, not thinks, nor sus
pects, but knows, that In the end M
will Inevitably Join the great inajori'r
before him, who have played and Twi?
"If It were not against the rules of
tho New York Stock Kxchange." in
claimed the head of a legitimate brok
erage house, "I'd bucket every order
I took."
"Do you mean to say that jour
customers are more likely to 1
wrong than right In their guesses?"
was tho surprised question of Mr.
Lamb.
"Sure," was the reply, with an in
dulgent smile of superior wisdom on
the frank, open, face of the broker.
"A speculator on margin Is not on)j
likely to lose, i.e Is sure to lose. Of
course, he sometimes wli.s, gets on
the right side of the market, and in a
day or two walks off with twenty
thousand dollars in his Jeans. Do you
think he stays away? Not much!
That was too easy; and the next Lime
he loses his twenty thousand of win
nings and as much more besides as
he'll stand for or can raise. Why,
this business we're in is pure gam
bling, and we're not one whit better
than Dick Canfleld."
Remember, please, that the speaker
was not a bucket-shop man, nor yet a
crank reformer, but the head of a
legitimate New York Stock Exchange
bouse, with thousands of customers;
and he knew the game from beginning
to end.
In the Fog.
Hudson Maxim, at the British
Schools Club's recent banquet, refer
red to the fogs of London.
"In one of the worst London fogs,"
said the Inventor, "an old friend of
mine tried to find his way from Tra
falgar Square to the 8avoy, where he
had an engagement to dine.
"The sulphurous air made the eyes
smart and the head ache, and it
brought on terrific fits of 'coughing.
You could not, literally, see your hand
before your face. There was a con
tinual crashing in of windows; bells
Jangled; vehicles and foot passengers
collided, shrieks and oaths arose.
"Threading his way In the midst
of this pandemonium, through the
Strand, as he supposed, from Land
seer's lions to the waiting dinner at
the Savoy, my old friend, to his great
bewilderment soon found himself de
scending a broad stairway. He put
his hand to the balustrade. Yes. a
broad and stately stairway, with a rail
of carved stone. Amazing!
"Suddenly In his descent my friend
collided with some one ascending the
stairway.
"'Hullo!' he said.
" 'Hullo!' a gruff male voice replied.
'"Can you tell me,' said mjr friend,
'where I am going?'
" 'Certainly,' said the other. 'If yow
keep straight on you will walk into
the Thames, for I've just come out of
it.' "
A Sex Difference.
The van that brought the first load
of furniture for the family moving la
next door bad as a passenger a small
boy of about his own ago. He wel
comed the newcomer hospitably with:
"Hello!"
"Hello yourself! -
"Say, you've rot red hair too, aint
you?"
"Yes, so have you, ain't you, Jes'
like mine? '
"Do they ever call you 'Red'?"
"Umhum, and 'Reddle' and 'Rod
ney,'" .
"And 'Ginger'?"
"You bet, and 'Cedar "
"And 'Brlcktop'?"
"Yes, and 'Sorreltop.' "
"Does your Uncle Bob say you're
copper mounted?"
"I ain't got no Uncle Bob:
but
grandad says I've got brass flttin's.
"kver call you 'Beets'?"
"No; but they call me 'Carrot'
sometimes, cause I've got freckle,! too.
See?"
A pause.
"Say, have you got a sister?'!
"No, have you?"
"Yes; but Bhe's grown up. She
wears long dresses, and has got a
beau that comes to see her eve:
Sunday evening."
"Has she got red hair too?"
"Umhum, Jes' tike mine."
"What do they call her?"
"Aw, she's a auburn haired beauty!"
Artificial Sapphires.
Mr. Lacrolx, a member of the
French Academy of Sciences, has Just
read a paper before that learned so
ciety on the manufacture of sapphires.
He has discovered practically the com
position of the precious stone, and has
succeeded In obtaining some speci
mens which almost resemble the real
stone. It cannot be said that M. Ls
crolx has yet discovered the exact
process, for those which he has ob
tained would not impose upon a skill
ed lapidary who subjected them to
severe test.
THE