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OLDTIMETURKEY EAT
A Once Popular Feast In the
Pennsylvania Mountains.
GONE WITH THE WOODSMEN.
TIm People,
tlons That
Mort, and
Apple Cut
Traditions and Assocla
Mad It Possibls Are No
It Joint In Oblivion the
and Quilting Bee.
"It isn't because there Is no more
material In tlio Itlue mountain region
of Pennsylvania to provide a turkey
eat thnt we lmve hnd the last of those
famous festivities," sold a former
dweller of the district described, "for
there are still wild turkeys a-plenty.
"The turkey ent 1ms gone out with
the passing of the people whoso homes,
traditions and manner of life made It
possible and with tho occupation that
eras once theirs.
"In the days when the turkey eat
was the great winter festivity In the
mountain districts between the Schuyl
Kill and the Juniata watersheds the
sparse population was chiefly of rude
ind rugged woodmen and their fnml
lies, many of thom descendants of
;mre Pennsylvania Dutch stock. Scores
tf them depended almost entirely on
their skill with gun and trap for tbelr
ibod supply.
"The cabins of these mountaineers
were built of logs, the chinks between
orbich were filled in with clay. A
'iuge stone chimney rose at one end
jf the cabin outside, covering that en
Ire end, while on the inside it opened
n a broad fireplace across that end
of the room.
"The cabin was banked all around
vvith earth, against which hemlock and
;lne boughs were heaped. Sometimes
ows of cord wood were piled up al
aost to the eaves, the better to keep
ut the cold, which is always Intense
Jurlng winter on those wind swept
Mils.
"There was rarely a cabin with more
ban one room. The walls were dark
vnd smoky, and from rafter or beam
mg plentifully strips of Jerked venl
xra and chunks of smoked bear meat,
Uong with hams and bacon from the
'anally pigs fattened in the woods and
Almost as wild as the bear and the
leer. But the choicest and best bo-
ored thing of the cabin's larder was
.be fat and well frozen wild turkey.
"While the woodsman's cabin was al
ays prepared for a turkey eat, It
ever knew when it was. coming. A
arkey eat began with the making up
"t a party In a neighboring Tillage or
ettlement. Taking along a fiddler,
'ley would appear at this, that or the
.tber woodsman's cabin of n winter
Tenlng, and the woodsman and his
.unlly did the rest.
"Instantly the birch woo 1 pail of ct
"er came forth. While the cabin's
nests drank cider the host prepared
nd Hpitted the turUey over the hlck
rj coals In the fireplace to roast for
m feast. When it was ready for the
ble it was placed before the guests
a big tin platter. Each one carved
.r himself, the plates being squares
' birch bark.
"The turkey eat was not complete,
"ongh, without a liberal supply of
lah haas' and head cheese, and with
went the sweetest of rye bread and
itter. Taan haas 1b a strictly Penn-
lvanla Dutch creation.
"It is made from the rich Juices left
ter boiling the ingredients for head
- 'eese, these being thickened to a stiff
iste with buckwheat flour. This paste
pressed in forms until cold and is
-rved in slices. It is a dull blue in
lor, very rich and very good.
"After the feast the turkey eat was
i- unded out by a night of Jollity super
: ' duced by the fiddle and maintained
1 It in its music for the old fashioned
tlllon figures end reels, which were
'-nced until the gray of morning.
But most of those old time woods
toj have passed away, and on those
ho are still dwellers in the mountains
e game laws have forced a situation
at leaves them with their ancient oc-
' patlon gono, and the hunt being do
lger a source of maintenance its tra
rions have departed with it. The
-wer generation of these people is of
ior tastes and associations, so while
) wild turUey is yet in proximity in
" it Blue mountain region to supply
material for the festive turkey eat
traditions and associations that
ide it possible are no more, and It is
ne, like the apple cut, the quilting
the pig killing frolic and others of
i old time rural pastimes that are
w but a memory." New York Sun.
Hot $tuff.
editor looked
"he great
ntly.
up Impa-
Hoy," he said, "what is that rus
tg in the wastebasket a mouse?"
'he boy after examining the basket
iwered:
Mo, Blr; it's one o' them poems o'
slon throbbln'."
Well, pour some water on it and
n drop it out of the window," sold
editor. "The building Isn't in
d." Kansas .Thdependent"
folYbamm tuftiloa .;.'! at II .bwii-i
4dict vifctnwiKlfino.yi- onlll
'nele Zeke (back from the ettjDi-tlf 01
fcftWtWVR JWttfii ' I rode dweht
'lima iin",t!HJi"i yoJu.viuunij'ina ,pWIJ j
mi u iTpiL.Tt j'itur am'.. Alt a. .
SET" w iiinion niiunii -mi ("'"P'Btnr , lit
top or tiicUuMittt bulldinf'.liivtbwnr
" WfeS8l!4 Hft-fV-MffmA
'5iHfe'e,iesailiii 4iiI ,W .1
mom tns-ersil r t" imw . -
mist ownuuK auwiaono you"a 'H ma-"
will V.- S . . m . . .1. ..I ....
mil ut lliui nijj TO OO'yOU 'DB -
vji-tlmft tte.'wbnm xou yoornelf have1
Uods-Hnlm.-ii:. -ut i n nniil ,ih
twos b!nl eviui 1 ".'.1 ,1 'ijiti-i ii') in j
.snuig'I ynlrtu aioiud
sWtrg ot otinorf ym ti t inn-t !'
A GLUTTON FOR WORK.
Story of the British Civil 8ervlce
In
the Latt Century.
The British civil service during the
middle of the last century was a de
lightful place for young gentlemen who
wished a "Job" with nothing to do.
Mr. Arthur W. A'Bocket In his "Recol
lections of ft Humorist" describes his
first day in the war otnee. After read
ing the Times through no short task
and listening to tho conversation of his
colleagues for awhile he ventured to
address his chief.
"Can I do anything?" I asked. "Is
there anything for me to do?"
lie seemed n little perplexed. The
other denizens of tho room pniisod for
a moment in their conversation to hear
his reply. It seemed to mo that they
appeared to lie amused. My chief look
ed nt me and then at the papers in
front of him,
"Ah!" said he at last, with n sigh of
relief. "Are you fond of Indexing?"
I replied I was fond of anything and
everything that could be of the slight
est service to my country. If those
were not the exact words I used, that
was the spirit cf my niiKWcr.
"I see, n pint ton for work," observed
my chief, with a smile .that found re
flection on the faces of my other col
leagues. "Well, A'Hecket, Just index
this pile of circulars."
I seized upon the bundle and return
ed to my desk. Oh, how I worked at
those circulars! There were hundreds
of them, and I docketed them with the
prontost enre and entered their purport
into a book. From time to time my
official chief, so to speak, looked in
upon mo to see how I was getting on.
"I say," said he, "there's no need to
bo in such n desperate hurry. I am
not in immediate need of the index.
You can take your time, you know.
Wouldn't you like a stroll In the park?
Most of us hove a little walk during
tho day. We none of us stand on cere
mony and are qulto a happy family."
But, no; I stuck to my indexing and
after some three days of fairly hard
work found my labors done. I took up
tho bundle of circulars, now in apple
pie order, and laid them on my chief's
desk.
"I say, A'Becket," said he, "this
won't do. You are too good a fellow to
be allowed to cut your own throat, and
for your brother's sake I will give you
a tip.' Don't do more than you are
nsked to do. Now, I gave you those
circulars to index because you would
bother me for work. I didn't want the
index. Now It's done It's not the least
bit of use to me. Of course It may
come In useful some day, but I scarce
ly see how it can, as the lot are out of
date. But of course It may," be added
to save my feelings.
DEVELOPING STAR.
Hew Mansfield Coached Margaret An
glin as Roxane.
Richard Mansfield in his preparation
for "Cyrano" was unsparing of him
self, and be was unsparing of others.
Everything he had and everything he
hoped for was at stake. Struggle and
desperation were In the air. Nearly
every one In the cast resigned or was
discharged over and over again. Mr.
Palmer's days and nights were devot
ed to diplomacy, and, thanks to bis
suavity, the heady heat of the day be
fore was forgotten in the cool of the
next morning.
An actress of international reputa
tion and experience was engaged for
Roxane. Rehearsals were under way
when she resigned by cable. The
orange girl's einglo line in the first
act was being rehearsed by a young
Canadian, Margaret Anglin. Mans
field had not seen her act, but he re
marked the wondrous loveliness of her
voice, and his intuition told him she
had temperament. "Can you make
yourself look beautiful enough for
Roxane?" he asked. "I think I. might
If you can make yourself ugly enough
for Cyrano," she answered. The part
was hers on the Instant. He coached
her relentlessly. Again and again she
cried that she could not do it. He re
assured her, but not with soft persua
sions. "You can, my dear, and you
must Now, again!" After rehearsals
she went regularly in tears to Mr.
Palmer to resign. He appealed to
Mansfield to be more lenient "I am
only kind," was his reply.
"Roxane is a great part. Only one
who has suffered can play such a role.
This girl hs the temperament and the
emotions, but she is young and inex
perienced. I cannot persuade her spir
it. I must rouse it." And everv dn
she
reached new depths and new
heights. Paul Wllstach In Scrlbner's.
A Multiplicity of Fathers.
Arayce Had been learning to sing
"America" at school and was trying to
teacn it to Brother Wayne. One morn
ing bis father heard him shouting,
"Land where my papa died, land
wnere my papa died."
Ardyce interrupted. "Oh, no, Wayne.
not that way. It Is 'Land where our
fathers died.' "
Wayne's expression could not be de
scribed as he tipped his head sldewlse
and in a very surprised tone crave! y
I A Way Men HVlll lll
' r'Whon a mnn tnlV itnt i.,v tt im
- u v v iuiB nnia
.j . .
Bmahtness."i-r- Washington
uilitJvnn 'o'iii'johi nJ .tn iitjftl
-v.i. ... I 1 ... I U II. ,1 I... i i.
i nn., D . . " 7 .
.
at home mnrh ,pl.n.. .1LZZ
.iMsetoom that, be allyi non a totter o
f'pIbUQauction7tollJiis.wlfs)wH(Toi
'irons, unom ,t t i.
Il I ' ' . ' V.
'I1 " U1
IT .lu'Miwiu u d J.ilH'ITl intlt ewoi.
njoaiqaJn i education In n DngUnd
tests , at least . f3,0J5. , 1 1
tiii
Iboin ii (it jtfirn
dl njt lo.'Kf !i!tiri -
iaeai
t
V'uaru luck, 'canso whin hn'a.
i t k"ivi iuau mi uti t i -?t 1 1 1 run
THE COLUMBIAN, BLOOMS BITING.
THE WORD "WINTER:"
Said
to Have Originally Indleated
Wetnete, Not Coldness.
There Is a prevailing impression that
there is something in the word "win
ter" that signifies cold, and the sea
son. is usually associated with tbeJdea
of low temperature, but where the
word originated there was little of
winter as we understand It, while
there was a great deal of moisture at
the time the earth was nearest to the
run, so that it is not the temperature
but the atmospheric condition that has
given us the word.
The word "winter," as we use It, la
found with but slight modifications in
all the branches of the Aryan lan
guages, for the idea of wetness asso
ciated with the season was given to it
before the Aryan family was divided.
If we go to the root of tho word we
find "wad," with the signification of to
well, to wash out, to moisten or uiako
wet. Our Aryan ancestors used that
root to apply to all conditions of
moisture, and many words besides
winter haTe grown out of it, wet and
water being among them.
This root "wad" is in the Sanskrit as
"udan," water. Anglo-Snxon has "w ae
ter," and in Latin we have "unda,"
wave, from which we get our "inun
date." Our Ianlsh and Swedish cousins
changed the "w" into a "v" and have
"vtnter." In Icelandic it Is "vctlr,"
and the old high German has "win
tar," and It is "winter" in German.
These four words are all from the
Teutonic base "weta," which means
wet So it has been moisture that has
been indicated from the birth of the
root on which all of the different words
in a dozen languages have grown.
New York Herald.
CURIOUS FLORIDA HERB.
Red Plant Which Feeds Upon
Ante
and Other Insects.
Almost everybody knows there are
such things as insectivorous or carniv
orous plants, but it Is doubtful If many
know we have any such plants grow
ing right here in southern Florida.
Nevertheless there is ft plant, or, rath
er, herb, growing here which is really
Insectivorous.
It Is likely that on account of Its be
ing extremely small it has escaped
attention. In fact, it seems to have
been overlooked by the botanists also,
as wo are unable to find It classed
a mono1 the sensitive plants.
This is an annual herb, and the en
tire plant, including the flowers, Is of
a deep rich red color. It rarely reach
ed a height of ceo re than three Inches
and Is never so broad. The leaves aro
spatulate when undisturbed and pre
sent many small flbrillae and secrete
at their tips a tenacious fluid which is
capable of holding the very small in
sects, such as ants and the like, upon
which it feeds. When any of these get
lodged In the fluid and disturb these
flbrillae the leaves slowly acquire a
deep cut shape and sometimes curl
completely up over their victim. Wheu
they have absorbed the insect they
slowly recover their original shape,
leaving only the skeleton of the Insect
remaining.
These plants grow on the very low,
flat, poor and sandy lands. They ap
pear In the late winter and early
spring months. Punta Gorda (Fla.)
Herald.
The Human Temperature.
Put to the test of the thermometer,
It
appears that the normal tempera
ture of the body is almost invariable,
regardless of latitude or season. Put
ting the bulb of the thermometer un
der the tongue of an Eskimo at the
frozen north or of a man under the
blazing sun of the tropics, we find that
In each case, the body being In a state
of health, the temperature Is about the
same, the difference not amounting to
a degree. We may say absolutely that
the average normal temperature of
a human being Is about 08.5 degrees
F., just as we may say that at sea
level water bolls ot 212 degrees P.
New York American.
Put In More Words.
"Now, Peters," said the teacher.
"what is It makes the water of the sea
so salty?"
"Salt,!' sold Teters.
"Next!" said the teacher. "What is
It makes the water of the sea so
salty?"
"The salty quality of the sea water."
answered "Next," "is due to the ad
mixture of a sufficient nunntltv of
chloride of sodium to imnart to the
aqueous fluid with which it commin
gles a saline flavor, which is readilv
recognized by the organs of taste 1"
"Right, Next," said the teacher. "Go
up onel" '
Mutton Birds.
During six weeks every autumn the
400 Inhabitants of the Australian Fur
neaux islands make enough money to
support themselves in idleness the rest
of the year. They do this by catching
the' very fat young "mutton birds,"
which are hatched there in such num
bers that the flocks when they mi
grate extend for miles. They furnish
food and oil, which is used for lubri
cating purposes and also as a substi
tute for cod liver oil.
Mit tU .
3flL jn9n3liMakln 8up-
Country Cousin Are you sure I am
iMhlothl rlttbtt train?
ho hns-:iiHJ'ftbout enough of it)
leava-veiaislMiai seventeen nortere
"Ut1rtyi-th' Tassetigers. and the
mtlWVe.rUlaiB.Trtlilnlt vnnM Wfo.
!rk7rttlLonflMi 'Telegraph.
eai ""7" '"VP, 'i ri 1 I
If thou eontlsuest to take dnllirh in
defmenutiouwthoi mayest be
JIpsllt .ft odubnt: Wlthi .the sophists,
M&IieroeritnawMiair Ui in.o n.o v.
I ( , .. ,.
FLOWERS OF SPEECH.
An Englishman's Address at a Ladies'
Seminary In 8im.
The influential Englishman in Slam
flattered himself that he had a very
decent knowledge of the language and
was ready to do great things. He had
already ordered coffee from his hotel
waiter with success and asked the
boy to bring up his boots.
Now, influential Englishmen in
Slam are not as common as cock
roaches, and that afternoon tho dis
tinguished visitor was requested by
a friend to deliver an address on
"Englnnd" at the only ladies' sem
inary in the country. Confidently ho
accepted.
He began famously. Every one ap
plauded and smiled. But gradually as
he proceeded he noticed consternation
overspreading the countenances of his
listeners.
"What's the trouble?" he whispered
In English anxiously to his friend on
the platform.
"Trouble!" exclaimed the friend hot
ly. "Why, the trouble is what you
are saying."
"But," protested the speaker, "I am
saying, 'I nm delighted to see so many
young Indies rising to Intellectual
heights, with fine brains and large
appreciation.' "
"Oh, no, you're not," corrected the
friend. "You're saying, 'I nm pleased
to see so many small lionesses grow
ing large and fat, with big noses and
huge feet!' "London Tit-Bits.
WHEN YOU WEEP.
The Way That Tears Act Upon the
Human Organism.
Professor Waynbaum, M. D of
Paris publishes some queer facts re
garding the nature and purpose of
tears, coming to the conclusion that
tears act upon the human organism
"like chloroform, ether or alcohol."
"When a human being gives way to
sorrow," says Dr. Waynbaum, "the
blood pressure In the brain decreases.
The tear helps in this process, which
benumbs the brain for the time being,
causing passlveness of the soul al
most approaching indifference.
"Tears are blood, changing color by
their passage through the lachrymal
glands. One can drown his sorrow in
tears as one can benumb his senses
by the use of alcohol or drugs. When
a person cries the facial muscles con
tract and t appearance of the face
changes, w itch action facilitates the
white blood letting, driving the blood
particles Into the lachrymal gland,
from which they Issue in the shape of
tears.
"Children whose nervous system is
particularly tender derive great ben
efit from crying occasionally. The act
of crying relieves their brains. The
same may be said with respect to wo
men." The professor likewise explains why
laughter sometimes produces tears,
but the explanation la too technical
for reproduction.
. The Only Safe Way.
"No, I . can't stay any longer," he
snld, with determination.
"What difference does an hour or so
make now?" asked a member of the
party. "Your wife will bo In bed and
asleep, and If she wakes up she won't
know what time It Is."
" "Quite right, quite right," ho re
turned. "I can fool nSy wife almost
any time as long as I get home before
breakfast. Why, I've gone home when
the sun was up, kept the blinds shut,
lit the gas and made her think that It
was n little after 12. But, gentlemen,
I can't fool the baby. I can make the
room as dark as I please, but It won't
make the baby sleep a minute later
than usual, and when she wakes up
hungry It comes pretty close to being
morning, and my wife knows it. Gen
tlemen," be added as he bowed him
self out, "I make It a rule to get home
before the baby wakes. It's the only
safe way."
. A Dog Story.
At a farmhouse at which we have
been staying a terrier, Rough, shares
always his master's first breakfast,
the bread and cream accompanying a
cup of tea. Three corners he breaks
off and gives to Rough, who eats the
first two. Off the third he licks the
cream, tbn carries the crust to a
hen who each morning comes across
the field where the fowls are kept
ana at the gate awaits her friend's ar
rival. Should others of the hens v -pear,
Rough "barks them off" while
his favorite devours her portion.
London Spectator.
A Tremendous Task.
"So you are going to study law?"
"Yes."
"Going to make a specialty of crimi
nal law?"
"No."
"Corporation law?"
"No. Both are too easy. . What I
want is to be accurately and reliably
Informed as to what months In t )
year and days in the week It is per
mitted to shoot certain game In tho
various sections of the country."
Washington Star.
A Patron of Art.
"So you enjoy reading all the extrav-.
agant praise that Is printed about that
opera singer?"
"Yes," answered Mr. Cumrox. "It
kind of helps mo to feci that maybe
those tickets were worth what I paid
for 'em." Washington 8tar.
Poor Jonasl
Missionary Can you give me any in
formation about Peacon Jones, who
labored among your people three years
go? Cannibal-Well, the last. I heard
tbout him he had gone Into consump
tion. Judge.
ir,
BANK VAULTS.
Precautions For th Purpose of Foil
ing thj Cracksmen.
Many banks, especially those In
cities, have tlielr vaults protected by
nn elaborate system of concealed
wires connected to a central ofilce not
so far away, so that the least tarn
perlng wilh the combination loci; or
any attack upon the door or wall
will give the alarm ot fie central f
; flee, where nu n are waiting day nnd
! nlpht to run to the rescue. The exact
! method and devices that are used arc
kept rather secret, for fear the bur
j glnrs themselves might learn too much
.about them, but It may be explained
that one part of the npparatus Is an
'extremely fonfitlvc relay located ot
.the central oilieo. This delleate In
, strument closes n local circuit whl'ii
Rounds the nlarm the moment there
Is the slightest disturbance of the hid
den wires at nnd near tho vault, so
that n gi'ii'J of burglars could hardly
get to work with their drills and their
nitroglycerin before the officers of the
law would be upon them.
In addition to protecting vaults and
safes from the direct attacks of rob
bers, electricity affords another safe
guard by furnishing light which floods
the premises with lis searching beams.
Indeed, many banks, stores and ware
houses rely mainly upon the electric
i light, without w hich the thickest walls
and the strongest nnd most compli
cated locks would bo useless. They
turn it on at night and lenvo their
window shutters wide open, so that
the interior may be in full view of
the policeman or watchman passing
the windows nil night. This makes it
practically Impossible for lawbreakers
to work unseen.
To protect tho money windows or
bonks the teller behind the window
litis a concealed push button nt bond,
oftentimes placed under the counter
where he can touch it unobserved. If
any one tries to steal any money, tho
teller can call an officer instantly In
this way. The circuit Is sometimes ar
ranged to close the bank doors nlso by
an electrically operated mechanism be
fore the thief has time to get to them
and escape. Ilarpcr's Weekly.
WHERE RICH MEN ARE FEW.
They Are as Scarce ae Black Swans
In Bulgaria.
Bulgaria is the nearest approach to
n peasant commonwealth which the
world has known In modern times.
There is not a Bulgarian Slav who Is
not the owner of a plot of land upon
which be lives and out of which he
gets bis own livelihood by his own
labor.
Large landowners are almost un
known. The few men of wealth In
the country are mostly of foreign birth
or descent, and even they would not
be counted as wealthy according to
the standard of other European coun
tries. The small landowners, who form the
vast majority of the population, are
peasant born and peasant bred. They
ore extremely thrifty. They are con
tent with very plain food. They wear
the same sheepskin garments from
year to year, only turning their coats
inside out with the changes of the
season.
Wholo families, even of well to do
peasants, sleep In the same room upon
mots stretched out on the floor. They
live under conditions of dirt nnd dls
comfort which no British or German
or French laborer would tolerate for
a week. Yet, notwithstanding their
disregard of the simplest Bnnltary ar
rangements, they grow up singularly
strong and healthy.
Moreover, they are freo from tho ir
ritation caused among other laborers,
overworked" if not underpaid, by the
spectacle of neighbors "living iu afflu
ence nnd ease without any necessity
to curtail their expenditure. Rich men
are black swans in Bulgaria. I was
told by a foreign banker in Sofia who
had traded for many years in tho
country that he doubted greatly
whether there' were fifty men in all
the rural districts who bad net in
comes of $5,000 a year. London Illus
trated News.
Faults en Both Sides.
lie was n mild nnd meek kind of
husband, but at length bis potience
and good nature gave out, nnd he went
to his lawyer to get him to draw up a
deed of separation from his exasper
ating better half.
"Ah, well," said the luwyer thought
fully, "perhaps there may be faults on
both sides."
"You're rlirht!" shniitod tt..
client. "She has a "hump on her back
and a wart on her nose." New York
Times.
Her Kick.
"I don't mind finding a gray hair or
two in my own hair," sighed the
bachelor glrL who shown Rfimn fan.
signs of the sear and yellow leaf, "but
wueu i pay a ror a nice bunch of
lovely brown curls and have to pick
them out of those, too, it isn't fair
Do you think it ls?"-Ch!cago Inter
Ocean.
Located.
"Say," queried the would be humor
ist, "where Is thnt place Atoms that
so many people ore blown to?"
"It's Just the other stilo nt Tj-m- v.
place in which so many people are
hanged," answered the solemn person
Chicago News.
The Right of the Kiss.
Some say kissing Is a sin, but if it
was na lawful, lawyers would na al-
... ii ji was na noiy, ministers
would na do itj If it was na modest
maidens would na take it; if It was na
plonty, puir folk would na get IL
i Robert Burns.
HER MISTAKE.
The Way It Wes Cxplalnjd to Her h,
the Clumsy f.an.
Owing to the fnet that tho car lurra
ed suddenly as he was passing nlorjj
the aisle Broiison was deprived of
his balance, wilh the result that Is
attempting to save himself from fan.
Ing he clutched one of the shoulders
of n handsome Woninn who had su
reeded in getting n sent. Moreover,
lie knocked her beautiful hat awrr
ind with great dlfliculty avoided stp.
plug on her toes. As he succeeded t
recovering bis equilibrium the lailj
turned toward him nnd snld:
"You coiiteniptlblo pup! I wish yon
to understand that I am not a lamp
post or n piece of furniture to t
clung to for support. You ought i
rldo lu a cattle iraln. You have
right to crowd In where you can tivir
other people to pieces with your Int.
awkward lunula. You pitiful clown:
You ought to be thrown out into t'w
street. You are not fit to lie nllowcit
to go where you are likely to Inter
fere with the comfort of refined pv
pie. You unmannerly bumpkin! Yin
deserve to be"
"Excuse me, madam," Bronson nun
aged to say, "you have mnde a mi
lake."
"A mlstnke!" the lndy demnndwl
her eyes flashing with wrath. "Whtt
do you mean?"
"I am not your husband." Chlcg
Record-IIerold.
THE CLERMONT.
First Passage by Steamboat From
New York to Albany.
In August, 1803 the exact day U a
matter of dispute the steamboat Cft
mont made the first passage by steam
from New York to Albany. The dis
tance, somewhat less than 150 mUt.
was covered In thirty-two hours, a
record hailed as ft triumph In speoi.
for previously the passage bctwcum
the two cities averaged four days.
Robert Fulton had experiments
with steam several years, but the CWr
mont was the first boat he constructvd
on a large scale. As he could not get
the engine he wanted in this country
he ordered one from England. Tto
Clermont was so reconstructed In the
following winter that it. gave more
commodious accommodations to trav
elers, and the year 1808, which wa
the first year of regular travel by
steamboat, Fulton made It a point to
start his boat precisely on BchednM
time. Curiously enough, a portion of
the public complained of this. It ws
not until well along In the summer
that travelers got accustomed to fc.
Previously boats had been held for
two hours at the request of passem
gers who weren't ready. Fulton's per
severance won public approval before
the season closed. Anaconda Stand
ard. Cleared His Doubts.
A well known English gentlenss
engaged a tall and powerful hlgk
lander to act as gamekeeper on his es
tate. Having been a considerable Knat
at his post and not having cangW
any poachers, the gentleman suspect
ed his gamekeeper of carelessness.
So one dark night he disguised him
self and went out with a gun to poari
on his own ground. He had fired only
one or two shots when he was svA
denly pounced upon from behind A
his gun wrenched away. Then Met
and blows were showered upon fcfn
until he fell down half lrisensIW.
The hlghlander then walked owar
quietly, and when the gentleman re
covered sufficiently he crawled hots
and took to his bed for iwo week.
He has now no doubts as to whetbwr
the man can perform his duty or not
Home, Sweet Home.
The old man sat on the park seat,
rivers of tears flooding his clothes. X.
sympathetic passerby, noting the hlgn
tide, stopped nnd asked If ho were HL
"Yes, sir," said the sorrowing oM
fellow. "I've Jebt 'ad bad news froa
ome. The 'ouse that 'as sheltered am
tor years is to be torn down, and I
'aven't a penny to my name to stop tt.
Everybody will be turned out, aat
goodness knows whaf 11 'appen to 'emr
"Poor soul!" said the sympatbettr
passerby, bestowing a penny on tW
sad old man. "That lsnt much, bat
you are welcome to It And where to
this old home of yours, my friend?"
"Up nt the Joil, sir," replied the oM
man. "It seems very hard. I've live
there five and twenty years."--Londo
Opinion.
How to Make a Cup of Cocoa.
Take a tablespoouful of cocoa a
put It In a tin cup. Add one teaspooa
rul of granuluted sugar and one tabfcv
spoonful of boiling water. Mis we,
so that there will not be any lumps ot
cocoa. Pour a little less than im
half plut of milk into a saucepan as
cook it, stirring all the time, untl
It Is scalded-that Is, until a fllns
forms on it and it begins to bubble a
little. Stir the cocoa mixture tabs
this and cook until it boils up. De
lineator. -
Businesslike.
The Beloved One-You object ts
Horace because he's not buslnesslft. ,
Stern Parout-Certaluly; he's only aft
r yu fo" your money. Beloved One.
Well, pa, doesn't that prove he's
tUBlnessllke?-Kansas City Indepen
Not a Mattsr of Chanoe.
The Vicar-Is it true, Samuel, that
Tour father nllnn.. -i
; ; v. ,i,ii.-a vl culture
ue Claved In vnim m.. t.
, xnere ain't no c hnnee about It. tnr.
j they all cheats!-Lonan Opinion.
Where there is much pretenskw-
much has been borrowed; nature nevt ,
wetends.-Lavater
i