THE COLUMBIAN, BLOOMSBURG, Pa.
p ELECTIVE AFFINITIES.
CTiPtntfltn first noted the disposition
ef a substance brought Into oittit
ttlth other 8u1)Bt:incta to clrave to
the fno for which it has the xtroiifier
affinity, Biya the Nrw York World.
But It Id to artists nnd the lumspfl
Bora of the artistic trnipcramrnt gen
erally slnco Qoetlio's day that wn owe
tho application of the principle to
tiumnn beings. The f:ict that lb af
finity Is not nhvaya found lit tho first
trial, nnd usually not until lior youth
ful bloom Ih Been in eotitriiHt with
fading? charms at homo, doca not tirc
eMiflly indlcato a defect lu tho law so
much " lack f opportunities ot
ccinparluon and election. A hus
bnml familiar with preen-rooms may
be expected to find hla affinity much
nootier than tho one less favored with
facilities.
t'sually the affinity la kept la the
bnrlisrotind until the divorce proceixl
lr.es niako her appearance enaeutial
to thn Interlocutory decree. Uut If
the old reproach that America hint
fmrrlflced art to coninierclalium Is not
to be deserved, a professional artist
should at least be accorded the barn
privileges In the choice of au ulliulty
us a nteel presiurtit.
COST OF LIVING.
A very mirrfiiring publication
Is
mcle by the liurraii Of I-ibor at
Washington, giving tables of Btatld
tien to show that the percenta;.! of
lncrpase In the waites of labor la
fruiter than that of the cost of food.
The computation is Ingenious, even
If oliiicure and unconvincing, lint tho
ltviln consideration, In accepting or
rejcctiiiR thn conclusion, is that our
l-rcple do not subsist on statl:tien 113
a rcpulur diet, and that the butcher
nnd prooor and baker do not ba.ia
tnelr price lists upon the per cent of
rveraKcs. Kvery housewife Ur.riws,
better than the WashlnKton Btati-Hb:-lan,
whether tne weekly wages buy as
much us they used to buy.
COFFEE FOR BREAKFAST.
While I am an earnest advocatn of
tra-drlnklng, as against tho reckless
overuse of coffee, there Is one thln
about the beau that appeals to my
soul, my heart and my Imagination.
That Is the merry sound of the matu
tinal mill grinding Its cheerful grind, j
converting the beau into grounds tor
the morning meal. It Is a certain sign
that breakfast Is coming. I set my
watch dally by my neighbor's eoffeo
mill. I smell the boiling beverage and
then take my tea. To a man with a
sound stomach nothing on tnls grand
old footstool Is more appealing than
tho fragrance of coffee, fried ham, not
lolls! 'NuU tor mek or burro run
away. Tip.
AUTOMOBILE SLAUGHTER.
The number and frequency and fa
tality of automobile accidents are ap
palling. Not a day passes without an
addition to the mortuary record. And
the peculiarity of It all Is that the
''scorchers" are the victims in tho
rreat majority of cases. Tho number
of innocents slain by the speed mani
acs Is comparatively Rniall.
We doubt, however, that this looks
to reform In the use of power vehicles.
Other people have learned how to got
out of the way; the scorchers havo not
learned how to take care of them
selves.
Uut we are In a transition period,
nnd before long It will be brought
about that the perils of riding In an
automobile aro no greater than thosa
( f the pedestrian who gets In tho way
cf these machines. Boston Post.
BROKEN ARMS MORE REMUNERA
TIVE. Thirty cents Is the amount at which
a Chicago judge valued a woman's
broken heart In a breach of promise
enlt recently. At this rate It la more
profitable to Ret an arm broken la a
street car accident. Baltimore Ameri
can. A New York magistrate says wom
an was made to be man's boss. Tho
best part of It Is she almost Invaria
bly lives tip to the specifications.
Rochester Domocrat and Chronlclo. .
There were no Trusts seventy years
ago; but do you have an idea that It
was much fun to live In an ago when
people thought tho world was coming
to an end If there happened to bo a
meteoric shower or some other racket
lu the skies? Kansas City Times.
Japan announcos that she will have
a World's Fair In 1912. This may be
Intended to contradict the widespread
reports that Japan's finances are bo
Ptraltenod tiiat she has no monoy to
throw away.
Napoleon hold tlat five hours' sleep
!b enough for men; seven hours for
women, children and fools. Tho only
possible Inference from this la that
the Little Corporal may have had a
surreptitious Interest In an alarm
rtock factory.
NO OCCA8ION FOR JEALOUSY.
It Is eald that King Edward has
the most remarkable collection of
sticks in the world. But so long as
President Roosevelt has the big slok
no oue will waate any time feeling
Jmlous. Baltimore American.
That agricultural department em
ploye, who says ho has heard birds
sinking familiar hymns, might as well
write out his resignation. But per
haps that is his way of resigning.
Tho cblM that Is "Rulud by Lova"
and the child that haa It own way
trve at tho aaiuo huuoe
Cures Woman's Wonknossw.
We refer to that loon to weak, norvoua,
luffuriuK women ktiuwu as 1 r. Tierce's
Fuvorlto Prescription.
l)r. Johu Fyfuotio of tho Editorial Staff
of Thk Eclkctio Medical Ukvikw says
of Unicorn root (Hclunini Molcu) which
la ono of tho chief Innrodlents of tho "Fa
vorite Proscription"!
"A remedy which Invariably acts as tutor
Ino lovifforntur nukes fur normal ac
tivity of ttio entlro retrod uetlvo Hysiem."
Be coatlnuun "In Hulimlas wu liave a iniMllca
Uicnt wklrh mora fully anawera llie alxiva
Uurixwft than any utlitrilrvu uilti which I am
acuuuinUil In tho trualiuvut ot Ilnaus Ie
cullar to woruun It I auldoni that a cane li
nen which dot' not nrusoiit aumn ludli'atlon
for thin roiiirdlal agent." Ir. Fyfi furllier
ayai "The following aro amonir tho blading
Indications toi Lluioiilax (t'nlcorn root). Pain
or acblnf la tho back, with Irui-orrhcra I
tonic (weak) condlllufH of Iho reproductive,
organ of min. men! iH deprlon and Ir
ritability. akclaul w til) chronic dlacatca of
Sua rurodik:llva tylgana of women: constant
Mnaailon Jl boat In tho region of the kid
neys: mvirrhaglii (floodlnc), due to weak
ened Cotiltlon off the reproductive aystetni
sniennr1iuylyirresed or absent monthly
lrlol.AWlinJjfrom or accompanying an
abuotr.i4l conilltlon of tho qlirustlvo orgam
anil
mlc thin uioou i namti araKtfmv
to the extreme lowur part of tbo
aenf
btl
If morn or leu of tho above symptoms
na-Tirnmnrofiff uT"itw itauihg I7gr.-ar-
ehuoi wiiiL'tt Is Unicorn root, or Ilclonlas.
and tho medical properties of which it
most faithfully raprosunts.
Of Oolduu Noal root, another prominent
Ingredient of "Favorite Prescription,"
1'rof. Finley RIllngwoiHl, M. U., of lluu
nutt Mod leal College, Chicago, says:
"It Is an Import ant lemvily In disorder ot
tho womb. In all catarrhal conditions
than nihil nr.
atu general enfoblenient, it is userul."
I HPruT. John M. Mi-uddcr, M. l., late of
Cincinnati, says or (JoUlen pftl root :
"In relation to Us general cITix'ts on tho
yetutu. Hu rt t tio tfiliriii in ur nmitl u i(i
fu-re (jtouch lynrral uiiunlrnlt) oiidilini. It
Is tiiiHvrsiiKi legarded a (fie tonic Ubeful lu
all debilitated mutes." . , -
l'rof. K. Ibtrtholow, M. D.. of Jefferson
Medical College, says of (ioldon Seal :
"Valunblo In uterine hemorrhage. Menor
rhagia (lloodlngl and cotigestlvo dyamcuor
Thceti (jialnful nnmatrnatlon)."
J r. Tierce's Favorite Prescription faith
fully represents all tho above named In-
Sredients and cures the diseases for which
ioy aro rocomuiouJed.
CCAR5 AfJD BA3IT0.
Some "philosophic thouclt" wicr
ha;i been lorlfj li.g te icO.Cy leais
bocauue the children's familiar!:' vi'.U
tham tends to dispel their fexr ;:uJ
hatred of animals and Uiaie tho:a
huuiano and lovlug. Uut lu the midst
ot the appluuse stirred up by this dis
covery there comes a clergyman of kit.
Joseph, .Vlch., who preauLcs LctJ
apalnst Uie same woozy little toy for
what reason? For tho reason, ua he
sees It, that tho attractive and lovablo
llttlu beasts In the hands of tho littla
girls are "destroying all the Instincts
cf motherhood.' 'The reverend Gentle
man predicts a worse development of
raco suicide than ever as a result of
tho bllbhtlng effect of the teddy bear
on the matcrniiJ feelings of tlio rUlng
femalo feneration.
This Is a very curious Idea; probab
ly It will tako decades of terrible toll
In the child study departments of the
universities to determine whether
there Is anything In it. If we may be
permitted a mere conjecture, we
should say that exactly the opposite
result from that apprehended by the
Michigan clergyman Is to be expected.
It Is all a cuso of "playing mother,"
anyway; the little girl cultivates tho'
disposition by bur tenso luttrest In
tho toy; and the waning of the teddy
bear craze will probably be followed
by on unexampled development of tho
doll business.
And by and by, la her search for
the most beautiful forms of diversion,
tho little girl, grown bigger, substi
tute u live man for both doll and
teddy bear. This Is when the ques
tion really orisus.
AMBASSADORIAL LUXURY.
Some of our Innocents abroad ap
pear to be much scandalized by the
extravagant style of living displayed
by the American Ambassador at the
Court of St. James, Whltelaw Reld.
They say that though his salary Is but
$17,803, his house In London must cost
him not lets than $200,000. This lux
ury they regard as In shameful con
trast with the simplicity of the lives
of Franklin and Jefferson when repre
sentatives of this country in Franco.
Yet matters and customs havo chang
od since then, even In diplomacy.
Franklin and Jefferson were no less
honored at tho extravagant court of
Versailles than If they had expend
ed 5200.000 a year, and Whltelaw Reld
has no more political consideration
with the British Government than if
he confined his expenditure to his sal
ary of $l'j,f00. Others have done It
before him and have made a very res
pectable figure In English society.
Whoso business Is It if Ambassador
Reld expend his own money lavishly
In dispensing hla hospitality as Ameri
can Ambassador? He does the same
thing at home when a private cltlzpn
In his splondld residence In Madison
Square. Should he bo required to
change his style of living on his trans
fer from Now York to London and In
exchanging his private station for a
diplomatic post? There Is no neces
sity that his successor shoub) br a
millionaire capable of vying with h!m
In expenditure. With his homo fur
nished him an American Ambsssnlor
can live very respectably on $17,5U0 a
yer, and many good men will bo
willing to take the position on the
same terms.
In the socialistic millennium, one
will be able to register at a hotol aa
"John Doo and affinity."
CASTOR I A
For Infants and Children.
The Kind You Have Always Bought
Bears the ST . ZtX-i'j,
MARKIAGES IN AMERICA.
"Why American Marrlapcs .Fall" Is
discussed by Anna A. Rogers In the
Atlantic. As contributory rnuses hue
cites the 2,921 courts In this country
which are empowered to pr.ml di
vorces, ns against ono In Liigintid,
twenty eight lu Germany and Bcve::ty
nlno In Franco.
Other reasons aro found In tho
"growing 'liiivlduaHsm" of wonum
and her falluo to realize, that "mnr
rlar.0 Is her work In the world." From
the "excessive education nnd excessive
phvslcal coddling of young women,"
their devotion to physical culture and
sports, a hybrid feminine has been
evolved, according to Mrs. Ropers, who
Is "a cross between a magnified, rath
er unmannerly boy" and a spoiled, ex
acting creature who sincerely loves
herself alono. A new relationship be
tween the sexes has thus arisen, "a
sMps'uod, unchlvatrous conipanlon
nhip," which nfter marriage Is discov
ered to be "a cause for tears or tem
per." Tho girl of the period, In Mrs.
Rogers's phrase, "considers It a gauch
orles to blush," and regards shyness
03 a laushablo anachronism, senti
ment "Hlc'itening nonsense" and cour
tesy bad form. Sho Idlra too much
l:i the f,hops and at the hnlrdu us
er's. Ileum husbands are "disillusion
ed" and In "an ugly reactionary mood"
oven brforo thn honeymoon has wan
ed. Man for his part comes off Mrhtiy
In the scoring. "Nino times out cf
ten hn marries for love," nnd hla mo
tlves "if se'flsh are Generally as pure
.in Is conaistcnt with faulty humaul
ty."
But do American marriages fail In
fact? After all, only six-tenths of
ono per cent, of tho 13.000,000 nnd
more American wives are divorced. If
Mrs. Rogers's Indictment of her sex If
true, It must be said for the men
that they have accepted the Inevita
ble with a good grace.
PROGRESS,
The arts and sciences advance at
the sacrifice of beauty nnd aesthetlc
lsm. The steam locomotive, the most
fascinating of mechanisms In the eyes
of t boy. Is gradually being lost to
our youth. In place of Us throbbing
soul wo are brought fai-e to face with
tho lifeless eloctrlc motor. Instead
of noblo Pcrcherons. Normauuiers,
Clydesdales and Cleveland Bays haul
ing our merchandise we are rapidly
getting used to autotrucks, which have
no Interest beyond the fact of their
utility.
The Ohio medical society has de
cided to expel members who charge
los3 than full fees for their services.
Even for operations they must not
glvf cut rates.
It Is announced that the Empress
Dowager of China Is about to retire.
This Is tho only form of practical
Joking indulged In by that elderly and
Celebrated lady.
NOTHING but the
best factory cut
tings go into
COUPON BOND
the finest and long
est new clippings from
the best white goods
factories.
That's one thing that
accounts for
COUPON BOND
toughness and fine
ness. Then the strength of
this fine material is not
sacrificed in beating,
washing or bleaching.
old- fasioned,
painstaking methods
are used the strength
of the cuttings is pre
served ; and the
finished paper has
the smoothness
and strength of
fine linen.
1 Pis sfw' pt,w
1 i i f"i,i iTi , 5 Xva TiH!!-v! j V
COLUMBIAN PRINTINO MOUSE,
Where 6ainplc can be seen.
"PLEASE" ON THE 'PHONE.
The IjO girl operators of tho Key-
stoue Telephone Company will not
nay "pleuho" to the subscribers, and
the subscribers have been requested
not to say "please" to tho operators.
Tho word Is used here 900,000 times In
twenty four hours on tho average.
Philadelphia Dispatch.
If this Idea could be carried out In
every business in the world, what a
wonderful saving of time would result!
Tho marvel Is thnt the genius of tho
Philadelphia telephone company haa
not thought It out before.
Billions on bullous of hours a day
could bo saved by cutting out all tho
courtesies of life nnd reducing every
thing to the level of the cave-dwellers.
Think of how much time could bo
caved by leaving off the prefix "Mr."
In undressing your Uibb Intimate
friends! No statistician can calculate
how much breath could be spared by
wives and sweethearts If they would
abandon tho use of terms of endear
ment. The time-saver of the telephone ei
chango might better have adopted a
rule against expletives In denunciation
of the usually vexatlouu service. If
the time spent In holding the wire and
the time spent In cussing out the op
erator could be reduced to statistics
It probably would make the waste on
politeness look trivial. Here Is whero
the most ccouoniy of telephono t!::i5
can be effected.
THE DRUNKARD'S BLACK-LIST.
In Fond du T.ac, Wis., there Is a
portrait gallery which grows apace. It
Is nndn up of pictures of the town's
habitual drunkards. Every saloon is
a branch pallery. Woe and a license
forfeited for every saloon-keeper who
Bells a drink to a man whoso face Is
In the collection, aays tho New York
Times.
From thla It Is perceived that Fond
du 1-ac is a town which Imitates but
does not learn. iAjndon had the Idea
of the picture blacklist ordinance in
10C3 and discarded it In 1004. It did
not work. It never will work. Whoro
there Is a determined thirst thero U a
way which cannot be blocked ty a
photograph hung on a wall. Besides,
the way to cure a curable man of ev
il Is not by trifling with whatever ho
may have remaining of self-respect.
A town burgess In Pennsylvania, by
name Punnypacker, also tried tho
blacklist schema a few years ago und
promoted chiefly tho gayety of tho un
listed. Solon of Athens punished Inebriety
with death. Lycurgus of Sparta des
troyed his vineyard to cut off tho
wlno-blbbers. It Is a far cry from
these classical exampVs of heroic
dcpUng with drunkards to the nagging
processes of saloon rogues' gallorlaa.
Carried in stock at tho
rash n W9 mm mmnry ammiiium''mmi www-x' "ti'Mik
To elderly people London Is no lon
ger a pleasant place of residence. Tho
streets have become a labyrinth of
horror and difficulty, a region of hide
ous sounds and foul smells. v Ith mo
tor buses toppling over on the side
walk and private motors knocking
down lampposts and Impinging on tho
shelters, tho unfortunate citizen
knows not whither to wend his
trembling steps. I.ondon Ornphle.
This ought to give some comfort to
those who want to know how peoplo
are ever going to get about In tho
New York of tho future.
GRAFT IN ICELAND.
Why can't this grafted country get
some Immigration from Iceland, whero
thero havo bcon but two thefts In
1,000 years? But Is there anything
In Iceland worth stoallng? St. Louis
Post-Dispatch.
MAIN TRAVELED ROAD3.
If tho preacher who declares there
aro 40 roads to hell will look around
a little he may find peoplo who aro
traveling all of them at once. Phila
delphia Press.
LAUGH AND CROW FAT.
Dean Swift declared that ho laughed
only twice In his llfo. Once was at an
Incident in tho burlesque of "Tom
Thumb" by Henry Fielding, tho fata-
or of the English novel.
Boston has nn R-yrar-old boy who
feeds on higher mnthematlcs, learns
foreign languages four at a tirue and
puts It all over hla professors. But
this type of juvenile nuisance ought
not to be considered an oddity in Bos
ton.
It has been shown that a well-made
watch can bo frozen Into a eal" of
lco without Interfering with its tl:no
Veeplnj qualities. However, tho av
erage citizen will prefer to carry hio
tlmopluco in the samo old way.
PULLING DIFFERENT WAYS.
"Bo sano," says Leslie M. Shaw. But
wlh O. B. Shaw tilling us to bo in
sane, how are we to follow the advlco
of tho whole Shaw family?
ONLY A BARBARIAN.
Tho doposed King of Ar.ara was ad
dicted to boiling hla wives In oil. Be
ing only a bargarlan, he did not send
thorn to Part3 to got divorced and tell
the reporters about It. New York Ev
enlng Post.
APPEALS TO THEM.
Aa might be expected, all Philadel
phia la watching Professor Koch's
experiments on the victims of the
"sleeping" disease in Africa. ow
York Herald.
Why does every doctor say to ov'
err convalescent patient: "If It
weren't for your vitality "t
1m -ififap "
BLCCMSBURG
H. A. McKILUP
ATTORNEY-AT-I.AW,
Columbian Luililing 2n Floor
Uloomslmrg, Pa.
A. N. YOST,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
Ent Building, Coust House Sqnart,
Bloomsburg, Pa.
RALPH. R.JOIIN,
ATTORNEY AT-LAW.
Hartman PuiWing, Market Square
Pilonmrluirg, Pa.
IRl.l) JKKLKR,
ATTORNEY-AT-LAW,
Office Over First National Bank.
Bloimisburg, Pa,
CLYDK CHAS. YETTER
ATTOKNf V AT-LAW.
Office in Win's Building.
Bloomsbnrg, Pa.
W. H. RIIAWN,
ATTORN KY-AT-L AW.
Office Corntr of rd and Main Sta.
CATAWISSA, PA.
CLINTON HERRING. -
ATTORNEY AT LAW..
Office wiih Grant Herring,
Bl otusl.uig, Pa.
I Crangeville Wednesd'.y each week
A. L. J'RITZ.
ATTORNEY-AT LAW.
-Hoiiinsl.uri: Nai'l Panic Bld
Blodmslnirp;, Pa.
Office
J. H. MAIZE
ATTORNEY AT I AW, INSURANCE AH
EAL ESTATE AOENT
Office in Townsend's HuiWing
Bloomsburg, Pa,
N U. FUNK
ATTORNEY AT LAW
Ent's liuiMinjj, Court House Sqtuuw
Elooniiburg, Pa.
SADF. T. V ANN ATT A
fSnci-psaor to ( V. Krapp)
GENERAL INSURACE
Office 338 Iron St., Bloomsbnrft
Oct. 31, 1501. tf
M. r. jnz & SON,
INSURANCE a.r.1 REALESTAT1
AGENTS AM) HKOKEKS.
N. W. Corne Main and Centre St
Bi.ooMsmriio, Pa.
Represent Seventeen as pood Companiet
there are in the World and all loses
promptly adjusted and paid
at their oliice.
DR. W. II. HOUSE
SURGEON DENTIST
Office Barton's Building, Main below Mai
Bloomsburg, Pa.
All styles of work done in a superior nun
All work warranted as represented
TEETH EXTRACTED WITHOUT PAT
by the use of Gas. nnd free of charge wh
artificinl teeth are inserted
Open all hours during the day
DR. M. J. IIES
DENTISTRY IN ALL ITS BRANCHM
Crown and l.ride woik a specialty
Corner Wain oud Centre streets
PWmsburg, Ta.
Colombia Ur Telephone connecttm
J. J. BROWN, M. D.
THE EYE A SPECIALTY.
Eyes tested and fitted with classes.
No Sundny work.
311 Market St., Bloomsburg, Pa.
Hours 10 to 8 Telephone
J. S. JOHN M. D.
PHYSICIAN AND SUKGIOH.
Office and residence, 410 Main Sf
7-30-lv BLOOMSBURG. PA
EDWARD. FLYNN,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
CENTRAI.IA. PA.
Offloe Llddicot building, Locust ayenoe'
H. MONTGOMERY SMITH,
ATTORN EY AT LAW,
Office : Ent building, n
99
WILLIAM C. JOHNSTON,
ATTORNEY-AT LAW.
Office in Wells uildir.g over J. Ck
Wells' Hardware Store, Moonuburg,
Will be in Millville on Tuesdays.
EXCHANGE HOTEL,
I. A. Snydhr, Proprietor.
BLOOMSHURO, Pa.
Large and convenient sample rooms, ba
rooms hot and cold water and all
modrrn conveniences.
CITY HOTEL.
W. A. Daniel, Prop.
No. 1 at West Main Street
'Larpe andconvenin ..n...i.
...... v ... . . 1 WMBflh
rooms, hot and cold water, and modem c
Tenicuces. car stocked with best dn
and liquors. First-class livery attached.
MONTOOBTILIPMONB. BBLL TSLIrH
BTS8 THolail, OLA3SS8 riTTSD,
H. BIRRMAN, M. D.
HOMCSOPATniCPUYSICIAN AND BOKS
:oi B0DB8- oaioe& HBgidence,4tli S
10 a. m. to s p. tu., i.m to 8 n. m.
BLlUJMhbURG, PA,
C. WATwON McKELVY,
Fire Insurance A&ent.
Represent twelveof thHtronKet ccm
pan ies iu tne worm, among
which are
Frarklin o. 1:Ljh. P-r-a.. ?' 'li.
Queen, of N. V. Wtslcln'ster, N. Y.
North America, 1'hila.
OfiBce: Clark Building, and Floor.