WRITING THE SERMON. irtdar ! Minister's Dar Fo Performing; Ttil Tank. rrobably few of the pood people who Mail with rapt attention to the snr aoa which Is proaclird to them each Itanday, says tho Ienver Tost, knorr that for nearly 300 years Friday has ! en the time honored day for the pas i or to go Into his study, write the ser lon which Is to furnish "food for bought" to the congregation on the ollowlng Sunday. In speaking of this ustom a clergyman says: "When Christianity was first promol ated, all preaching was done extem oraneously. Such a thing as prepar ig a sermon was unknown. Many lfted men expressed their views on arlous subjects, then added a few rords of good advice to their listeners. "Ws practice Is still continued In the toman Catholic church of the present My, and I think that a Tery limited tumber of the priests ever write a ser non. Not all ministers, however, ad tare to this rule by any means. When tcnry Ward Keecher was asked on rhat day ho prepared his sermon, he spiled, 'On Sunday morning, of ourse.' " 'Well, Mr. Iteecher, don't you think Nat Is a rather dilatory habit for you get Into?' asked another. "Oh, no, not at all,' replied Mr. leecher In his quick way. 'You see, I sok at a sermon tike some do on a pan ske. They can be served hot or cold, ind I Uke mine hot; that's all.' " 111 Friend Gon"reT. The following story, told by the Washington Tost, leads us to wonder fhich to condemn first, the boaster or to critics. It concerns a certain man ho has a large collection of auto taphs. i Indeed, the envy and sometimes the tepticlsm of his friends have been ex ited by the number of successful an ion who have set down familiar and tottering inscriptions in his books, tame carpers have even gone so far to hint darkly at a similarity of sand writing throughout the collection. He recently purchased a rare edition 4 Chaucer, and one evening when a latrty was gathered at the house the .rectous book was passed from hand band. The owner lost sight of It, mt the next morning he found It lying tx bis library table. On the fly leaf was Inscribed: "To Jack , from his old friend and schoolmate, Geof. Chaucer." Wit of Home Took. It Is said that Home Tooke, who ex riled in that duelUke controversy ex hibited by two disputants when pitted -.gainst each other with only the 'ireadth of a mahogany board between aem, was exceedingly quick and sharp X retort. When ho made his most teadly thrusts, it was with a smiling onntenance and without seeming cf 'ort or emotion. Replying to a man rho contended that only landowners -.hould be allowed to vote at elections, 'vc said, "Pray tell me how many acres loes it take to make a wiseacre?" 'Then asked by George III. whether he ;rer played cards, he replied, "I can ' tot, your majesty, tell a king from a ;nave." What can be more uniquely omlc thau his saying to his brother: 'You and I, my dear brother, have In serted the laws of nature. You have isen In the world by your gravity, and i have fallen by my levity?" Saturday Jvenlng Post. The World's Laritit Crab. How would yon like to have a crab i Ike this squeezing your toe when you ,t bathing? The gigantic Japanese . Tab, measuring twelve feet, is proba cy the largest crustacean in the world. Cbe specimen Is a type of the spider rab, which inhabits the waters of the ;roup of islands forming the empire .f Japan. The body portion is the size f a half bushel measure, while its wo great arms or "feelers" could eas !y encircle the figure of a man. Its 'ight arms qr legs resemble huge )&mboo poles and are extremely elas :c, and if strung into one line they vould reach to the top of a four story partnient building. One of the ex-.-aordinnry peculiarities of this crab I the faculty of assuming a disguise y affixing pieces of seaweed and ponges to tho body. Norn-ay Hotel Syatera, There is a capital hotel system in -ogue in certain parts of Norway. In :illagcs where no hotel exists one of he more prominent Inhabitants is sub idized by the Norwegian government ind in return Is bound to provide ac- omniodutiun for not less than four ravelers. He may take In four If he booses, but four Is the minimum. The . ccom mishit Ion and food supplied are . Excellent, and the churges are very . aodcratc. The Drop Curtain. A youngster had been to tho theater, :nd upon lils return his uncle asked ilm how be liked the play. "Oh," he replied, "the play was all ight, but I didn't see nearly nil of it." "Why, how did thut hnppen?" asked '.Is uncle. "Hecuuso," answered the youngster, the roller must huve been broke, for ' he window blind fell down two or .Uree times!" Chums. A Fair HxFhunice. Editor See here, Mr. Dolnn. Yon delivered me a loud of hay for tho six years' subscription you owed for my kaper. Mr. Doluti 01 did. Editor Well, my horse won't eat that hay, b' gosh! Mr. Dolnn Well, my gout won't eat your paper, be gobs! Puck. The average man Is always anxious to meet the fool killer for the purpose of sending him next door. Chicago News. THE WouUOUOK. Wnere Does It Hide Darin the Molt. In Reason f It Is during the months of August and September that the mystery of the woodcock's life begins. This Is the molting season, when the bird changes its plumage before beginning Its Journey southward. At this time It leaves the swamps. Where does It go? That Is a question which has nev er yet received a satisfactory answer, although each sportsman and natural ist has his own opinion, and many fine spun theories have been advanced. Some say that the birds move toward the north, some that they seek the mountain tops, coming Into the swamps to feed only after nightfall; some that they seek the cornfields, and there have been many other such theories. Probably the truth lies In a mean of all those statements. I think it prob nblo that the birds know the loss of their feathers renders them to a cer tain extent helpless and more exposed to the attacks of their natural enemies, and they therefore leave the more open swamps and hide In the densest and most tangled thickets. It is certain that they scatter, for at this season single birds are found In the most un usual and unexpected places. Years ago when shooting In Dutch ess county, N. Y., I knew ono or two swamps, which we called molting j swamps, where In August we wero i sure to find a limited number of birds. These swamps were overgrown with rank marsh grass and were full of ; patches of wild rose and swectbrler. If we killed the birds which we found there, we were sure in a week or ten days to find their places filled by about the same number. Outing. MILITARY DISPLAY. An Amusing Bit ot Routine In a New York Hotel. There is no better place to mark the increasing love of military display and maneuvers than the lobby of a large hotel. The colored help In particular are great soldiers. In one of the Broad way hotels uptown the colored hall men are changed at noon. Things were quiet In the lobby at that hotel today, for the clerks and bookkeepers were deep In their books, and the loungers were all sitting peacefully on the so fas when the steady tramp, tramp of what sounded like a regiment of infan try broke the stillness. The regiment consisted of six col ored hallmen in blue and brass, with an especially resplendent mulatto In a more gorgeous uniform walking at the head of the procession, says the New York correspondent of the Pittsburg Gazette. He lined his slx'roen in front of a bench before the desk, looked them over sharply to see that they were "eyes front' and hissed "Atten tion!" Then as he clapped his hands once the six men hinged their legs si multaneously and drooped Into their scats like a row of wooden soldiers. Tho mulatto wiped his brow with a highly perfumed handkerchief, glanced at the head clerk for approval and as the first man responded with a Jerk to the cry of "Front!" went to the main doorway to look at the sunlight of Broadway with the air of a successful major general. The whole perform ance was excruciatingly funny, but I am sure that mulatto would have com mitted assault and battery on any one who dared to laugh. The Wax Insect. Trees afford the birthplace and cra dle of the wax insect, scientifically called Cossus pela. In the early spring the bark of the boughs and twigs be comes covered with brown pea shaped scales, which can be easily detached and which, when opened, reveal the flowery looking mass of minute ani mals, whose movements can Just be detected by the naked eye. In May and Jnne, however, the scales are found to contain a swarm of brown creatures with six legs and two an tennas each. Some of the scales also contain the white bag or cocoon of a small black beetle, which, if left undis turbed, burrows into and consumes the scales. The Chinese say that this beetle eats the little wax insects, and it appears certainly the case that where the parasite is most abundant the scales fetch a lower price in the mar ketChambers' Journal. All In the Family. They were discussing the factors which make for success in the world, when the knowing young man said: "There's nothing like force of char acter, old man. Now, there's Jones. Sure to make his way in the world. Has a will of his own, you know." "But Brown has something better in his favor." "What's that?" "A will of his uncle." Stray Stories. Legal Point. "So he got out an Injunction against your company," we say pityingly. "Why didn't you forestall him by get ting an injunction to prevent the issu ance of his injunction V" "I couldn't. You see, he was slick enough to get out an injunction against my getting out an injunction against his injunction!" Baltimore Herald. Small In u Double Sense. "After all,"remnrUcd Smlthers, yawn ing, "it Is a small world." "It has to be," snapped Smuthers, "to match some of tho people In it." Cincinnati Commercial Tribune. Accounted For. Dime Museum Manager What Is that peculiar smell? The Living Skeleton Tho rubber skin burned his finger lighting a ciga rette. Judge. We ought to avoid the friendship ot the bud and the enmity of the good. Eplctctus. THE COLUMBIAN, WOMEN OF NEW HAMPSHIRE. Kon-here Are the Conditions of the Sex So Itarliarle an In That Staid Old State. According to Mrs. Stanton Itlotch, president of the Kqual Suffrage League of New York, the late cam paign for political righls for women in New Hampshire revealed almost barbnrlc conditions surrounding the women of that region, says a New York exchange.' "Nowhere are the conditions of women so barbaric as In this staid old New England state," she said. "This is due to the introduction of the factory system. The New Hamp shire woman has no more incentive to individual development than the women of barbarous tribes, whose in terests never go beyond the cooking of food and tilling of the soil. "Farm work is largely in the hands of the women of this state. Although they are physically weak as a rule, statistics of our recent war showed that our largest soldiers came from New Hampshire, but the native wom en arc abnormally small as a result of their hard lives. "The New Hampshire woman lives, in moRt eases, on s rorky, unproduc tive farm and her employment in her primitive home are as ephemeral as those of any savage. She bakes pies and doughnuts, washes her clothes and cleans house. The old in dustries of spinning and weaving and preserving and soapmaking have passed out of her hands. So long as she had these things to do she had an outlet for her energies. She had an incentive to organize and systema tize her household work." A PLUNGE IN ICY WATER. One Who Has Had the Experience Saye It la Not as 1'nple-aaant aa Many Suppoae, It is the common impression that one suffers keenly from Cold if sud denly immersed in a lake or stream covered with thin iee. Such, says a Philadelphia exchange, does not op pear to be the case of the experience of a Philadelphian who got such a wet ting the otflier day when skating. He laid: "I was skating on ice that kept cracking, and then fmnshl all of a sudden I was overboard. I was in the wa.ter, holding on to the jagged edges of the ice. My first -thought wusa feel ing of surprise at the water's warmth. I had gone clean under, head and all, and now I was immersed save for my. head, arms and shoulders; j et I wasn't cold; the water actually felt a little warmer than the air. 1 guess that I was in for six or seven minutes. A plank had to be brought before I could get out. During those minutes the only part of me that suffered was my poor wet hands that clutched the ice. After a minute or two they began to ache with the cold. My body in the water gave me no discomfort and per haps if I had kept my wet hands in the water they wouldn't have troubled me either. But I couldn't do that or I'd have been carried under the ice." SAVED BY STRATEGY. Pioneer Drummer Had a Way of Dda poaina of a Wentern, "And Man." "I traveled through the west in pioneer days," said a Philadelphia drummer, uccording to an exchange, "and though things were pretty rough I never had but one close call, I had an argument with a Dakota cowboy and he set out to wipe me off the earth. "But you shot first?" aueried a lis tener. "No, I was not armed. I simply re sorted to strategy. He looked like a man who'd oblige, and just as his finger was pressing the trigger I told him that I much preferred to be killed with a knife. When he got his knife out I changed to a club and from a club to a stone in a stocking, and I finally got him all mixed up and bought his whole outfit for eight dollars and sent him off to get drunk. There is really no need of being killed if you keep your wits about you." AMERICAN ABSINTHE. The Green Terror of France" Pro duced In Considerable Quid titlea In Wlaconain. "Absinthe, 'the green terror of France,' " said a botanist of the ag ricultural department, reports the Washington Evening Star, "is now being produced in considerable quan tities in this country and is being used to an alarming extent, in some sections of Wisconsin wormwood is being cultivated, and it is from this plant that oil is distilled for making absiuthe. There are several worm wood farms in that state. "The Wisconsin growers of worm wood and distillers of the oil at first shipped nearly all their output to Europe, but now they find a good market for it in this country, and at almost fabulous prices. Of course the drug houses of America furnish ready home market. The oil is em ployed in many ways, but its chief uses ure in the making of absinthe and liniments." Our International Commerce. In view of the establishment of the department of commerce and labjr, it mav be interesting to note that the internal commerce of the linked Slates last year has been estimu'ed by the government statistical! at $i0, ! 000,000,000. Fifty years ago it wus oily $2,000,000,000. The manufactures of , he United States are nearly double the of Great Britain ami Ireland, na about equal to those of Frauce, Ccr many and liussiu couioiuea. BLOOMSBURQ, PA. CITIES IN NAME ONLY. Aspiring Municipalities That Are 8 Small aa to Be Simply Rldilcnloa. The recently completed census of the UnHed States reveals some singu lar facts relative to the towns and cities that compose the nation fit large. There are quite a number of so-called "cities" which are so rldicu- ously small in. population, as to make it a matter of wonder and amazement that they are really cities, says the Washington Star. The population of a few such cities may be given as illus trations. The city of Johnson, Kan., has a population of only IS, and the population of the city of toronado, iu the same state, is even less, being only ten. There are several cities in Kaunas which have very diminutive popula tions, as follows: Hird, bS; Brainerd, 70; Ford, 82; Frceport, 83; Horace, 00; Hugoton, 54; Kichfield, 61; Tribune, 62; Ulysses, 40. The city 'of Si loam Springs, Mo., has a population of OS. The city of llrigantine, N. J., has a population of 00, but, small us is the population of that city, it is nearly five times as large as that of the city of Luvallctte, in the same state, which has a population of only 21. The city which exceeds all the others in the di- minutiveness of its population is the city of liainy Lake, Minn., which has population of only 7. WHY HUMANS ARE NOT ALIKE. The PoaalblHtlen of Dlveralty la Every Keapect Are Deyond All Limit a. Everybody is different from every body else, arid in all the world two persons could not be found who are exactly alike in every particular. Often one man is seen who resem bles some other man, but he is dis tinguishable nevertheless. Ofttimes twins are so nearly duplicates that people get them mixed, but yet all their features are not identical, says the Chicago Inter Oceun. A Chicago man, L. A. Vaught, has been figuring to determine how many different people there could be in the world, and yet have no two of them alike. The result he has arrived at is startlingly large, and if the world were to be the abiding place of so great a population there would scarce ly be standing room. The possibilities of human diversity is something extraordinary. There are said to be 42 individual faculties of genetic instincts composing the hu man mind. These 42 faculties may combine in 2,810,012,235,505,750,797, 086,285,212,489,023,129,540,768,000,000,000 different ways. This will account, says Mr. Vaught, for the diversity of the human family in the past, at present, and for millions of years in the future. NEW STORY OF MARK TWAIN. How one Famona Humorist Had tho Merry Cachlmnatlon Turned I'pon Hlmaelf. The following story aboutthe author of "A Double-Barreled Detective Story" is told by the London Publish ers' Circular. One day, while Mark Twain was connected wiih a publish. ing house, he went into a book store in New York, and, picking up a volume, asked the price. He then suggested that as a publisher he was entitled to 50 per cent, discount. To this the clerk assented. "As aa author," proceeded Mark, "It would appear "that I am again entitled to 50 per cent, dis count." Again the clerk bowed. "And as a personal friend of the proprie tor," the humorist modestly contin ued, "I presume you will allow me the usual 25 per cent, discount." Once more the salesman managed to pro duce an impressive bow. "Well," drawled the unblushing speaker, "un der these conditions I think I may as well take the book. What's the price?" The clerk calmly "took up his pencil and began -to figure industriously. Then he announced the result with the greatest obsequiousness. "As near as I can calculate," said he, "we owe you the book and about 35Vi cents. Call again." Sawduat In Cereal Food. Referring to breakfast foods, Lit erary Digest quotes from Cosmos, Paris: "Very fine sawdust is some times mixed with cereal foods, and has at least one advantage it is not poi son. It even constitutes a sufficient food for the larvae of certain insects, but it is quite insufficient for the nour ishment of man. It was shown in 1S98 that certain suspected cerenU con tained no less than 40 per cent, of wood sawdust." Druaaed the Elephanta. A correspondent of the Cornhill Magazine (London), at the durbar in India, devotes considerable space to describing the wonderful doeilily of the elephants, some of which were "so gorgeous that they would have aston ished Solomon. Most orderly and above reproach were the elephants." Then he bluntly makes this revelation; "Hut then they were d nigged." Make People Taller. A physician of Paris has a method to make one grow tall. This is to ap ply static aud faradic electricity to the knee joints daily, in connection with massage night and morning. He binds the joints in compresses saturat ed with salt wuter each evening and puts his patient upon a diet of cereals to promote the growth of cartilage. Jubilee of Free I.lbrnnlpa. Manchester, England, is about to cel ebrate tlte jubilee of its free libraries. It is calculated that during the 50 years 52,000,000 reference books huve been read or consulted. MOTORMAN'S EXPERTNESS. If Given Fair Kotlee ne win ' Carry a Pasaenaer Ileyond the Croaaln. 'Teonlc who complain that the car isn't stopped just right for tliem at the crossing," said a motormnn, ac cording to the New York Sun, "may really have themselves to blame ior It. They don't give the conductor notice and so the conductor can't tell the motorman time enough nhcad. When he can the conductor gives the motorman ample notice of the street at which he is wanted to stop; he may pull the strap for the next block almost before the car has got fuirly well started from the last, but, the motorman likes ample notice. "The rails may be slippery and it may on some clays require more pncc to bring a car up In that it would on othew. Hut the trotor- man can stop the car anywhere un der any conditions with the rear step square across the crossing if you give him a chance. "And of course he would rather make a good stop like that than to make a poor one; this on his own ac count lis well as on the pns-engers. "The days when he runs by seem always to be the worst days for the passengers, days that are damp and sloppy; but those days may be also the worst for the motorman. tne hardest days, with slippery rails, on which to run a ear with exactness. "So as a general proposition I should say It would be wise for the passenger who wants to get off nt the next block and who doesn't want to be carried beyond the crossing, not to wait too long, but to tell the con ductor early, and he will tell the motorman and the motorman will do the rest, or come mighty close to it. STONES THAT ARE ALIVE. One Species That SJiovra Poaltlve Evi dence of llelnnj Poaaraard of Animation. It is generally known that stones possess a species of life in at least that they grow from small begin nings frequently to enormous size. There is one stone in particular, however, thut seems endowed with a greater degree of life thau others. It is called "the living stone" and is found in the Falkland islands. Those islands are among the most cheerless spots in the world, being constantly mibjected to a strong polar wind, says Nature. In such a climate it is impossible for trees to grow erect, as they do in other countries, but nature has made amends by furnishing a supply of wood in the most curious shape im aginable. The visitor to the Falk lands sees scattered here and there singular shaped blocks of what ap pears to be weatherbeaten and moss covered bowlders in various sb.es. Attempt to turn one of these "bowl ders" over and you will meet with a surprise, because the stone is actually anchored by roots of great strength; in fact, you will find that you are fooling with one of the na tive trees. No other country in the world has such a peculiar "forest" growth, and it is said to be next to impossible to work the odd-shaped blocks into fuel, because the wood is perfectly devoid of "grain" and appears to be a twisted moss of woody fibers. ODD MESSENGER OF LOVE. Mandtoba Widow Writes n an Egrs and Geta a Hnahand from Liverpool. Among the weekly consignments of eggs lately received by a Liverpool, Knglund, warehouseman was an egg bearing this message: "Packed by Mrs. Meade, a lonely widow, age 30, on Meade's farm, Helleview, Mani toba." The warehouseman was a widower, his age was 42 and he was decidedly lonely, being without kith or kin. He decided to try his luck with the lonely widow. He wrote to her, told her the story of the mes sage having reached him, sent her his photograph, described his own lone liness in a big city and hinted that they might neitheg of them continue pining ior conipanionsnip, reports a London paper, if they once met, and giving references to several respon sible persons who knew Ids charac ter. In less than three weeks he re ceived a cable. ,It merely said: "Come out. He went out. The lone ly ones met and hey are lonely no longer. Nlaalunarjr Work In Clulnn. Rev. Dr. ltyun, for 17 years a liaptlst missionary in China, who has just ar rived in San 1 ranciseo, reports that no serious trouble from insurrection is to be feared in that part of the empire, The missionaries, however, have most to fear from disturbances in northern Chinn, where the hatred for foreigners is intense, says the Chicago Chronicle. In southern China there is almost a friendly feeling for foreigners, and a disposition to accept some modern ideas from them. Town Uke London. The chief desire of the municipality of Hiiro, in Chili, is to have their town known ns a second London, and within the last deeuile much money has been spent to make it an exact replica of the Hritish capital. The streets have been laid down and named after those in London. All In America. This country Invented the pnrlor, bleeping and dining cars, the pressed steel freight ear, many of the best features of the modern locomotive, the air brake, the airtomutio coupler and a host of related devices, and it runs the fastest long-dibtuuce train. Do Use to W ink- Government to Interfere Wiih Certain Drinks at Soda Fountain. The Hale o! claret sodas and other semi alcoholic drinks at soda water fountains promises to be seriously cur tailed this summer, says tne Hroowyn Eagle. Uncle Sam has been advised that there has been a tremendous in crease in the sale of soda water drinks, so called, which contain a dash or two of distilled spirits or wines of different kinds. The government has decided that if this business is to go on the drug store proprietors must take out regular liquor licenses, like the saloons on the corner. An order has been prepared for dis tribution among the collectors of in ternal revenue, warning them that drug stores, candy stores and other establsh lishments that sell soda water in which alcoholic liquids have been introduced, must pay the regular government re tail liquor dealer's license. Several years ago the department made a rul ing that "where an alcoholic flavoring syrup is used for sprinkling into a glass of soda water a quantity so small as to merely give a flavor to the water, the special tax of a liquor dealer is not required to be paid for the sale of such beverages.1' So great has been the trade established under this exemp tion, however, that it is now found necessary to revoke this ruling. The treasury department, under strict orders from Secretary Shaw, who is determiued to break up the busi ness of druggists who sell soda water drinks mixed with whiskey, wines and other spirits. The tax is $25 a year, and if this is collected by the govern ment it is likely that the local author ities will also require a regular liquor selling license to be taken out. Cer tain syrups require a small percentage of alcohol in them to prevent fermen tation. The tax is not intended to apply to cases of this sort, but only where the alcoholic mixture is added after the beverage or syrup has been received from the manufacturer of the same. Interchangeable 1000-Mile Kefund Tioketa- Commencing Tune i, 1903, inter changeable 1000-Mile Refund Tickets will be placed on sale, limited to one year from date of issue, good only for transportation of the owner, with usual free allowance of 150 pounds baggage over any of the following lines: Baltimore and Ohio Railroad. (Be tween all points east of Ohio River and between Pittsburg and Kane. Also to and from points on Philadel phia and Reading Railway and Central Railroad of New Jersey between Phila delphia and New York.) Chesapeake and Ohio Railroad. (East of and including Huntingdon.) Delaware, Lackawanna and West ern Kailroad. Erie Railroad. (East of and inclu ding Jamestown and Suspension Bridge.) Lehigh Valley Railroad. Pennsylvania Railroad. These tickets will be sold at rate of $30.00 each, subject to refund ot $10 on surrender of cover to Trunk Lines Mileage Ticket Bureau, No. 143 Liberty Street, New York, at any time within eighteen months from date of put chase. This form of ticket will be issued in deference to requests of numerous patrons of the lines in interest desiring one ticket good over several lines in stead of having to provide themselves as at present with a separate ticket for each line they desire to use. Agenta at principal stations of the railroads named above will have these tickets on sale and give all further information regarding them that may be required. Eol Basket Law. The bill making it lawful to catch eels with baskets having wing walls, was signed by the governor last weelc The provisions of the bill are that it will hereafter be lawful to catch eels in suck baskets provided that every basket has slats not less than one sncti apart with a movable bottom, which, shall be taken out at sunrise and be kept out until sunset. The bill limits the time to use the baskets from the 25th day of August to December 1st. The right to catch eels in this manner is to be secured by taking out oi a license from the county treasurer at a fee of $5 and another fee of $1, the latter to go to the treasurer for his trouble. The $5 license goes to the state fish commission for the enforce ment of the fish laws. The following letters are held at the Bloomsburg, Pa., postoffice, and will be sent to the dead letter office May 19, 1903. Persons calling for these letters will please say that they were advertised May 7, 1903" j Mrs. Charlie Bernard, Mr. David M. Geiger, Mrs. A. M. Bogart, Miss Edith Jenkins, J. E. Reeves. One cent will be charged on each letter advertised. J. C. Brown, P. M.