""HE COLUMBIAN. BLOOMSBURG, PA.
THE HADNTING DREAM.
t.t n!(rht a melanacholy droam
Piiwued mo down the u1fs of sleep.
Like some (freat bird that flits ft-frleam
In a ship's wake on the lone derp.
Of thov dram It wm so swet.
And subtly sad, that whin I woko,
And rose, and went into the street,
I dreamt, although I moved and spofcr.
I dreamt although my hnndu and brain
Were busy In the larrlnR noon;
t dreamt till rtlirht came round nftaln,
And now I dream, watching the moon.
Oh, for tho Joy that mlitht have been,
Oh, for the Joy that shall not be,
fcrnl that which thou hast never seen,
And that which thou mayst never see!
Victor Vlarr.
Tragedy or Comedy
There were eight of us all told. W
composed a constellation of dramatlt
stars-' and a brass band. There wai
Rawdon. who was "billed" under two
or three names which he varlouBlj
used when he doubled or trebled, ai
the case might be; and there was Mrs
Rawdon, his wife, who did the heavj
old ladle; and Mies Rawdon, who wai
the same person reduced to cellbaej
when going on for chambermaids. Also
there were Tonless and his wife, whe
ntvled themselves the Juveniles, but
who considered themselves extremelj
fortunate If they personated leas than
four characters each at any perform-
Alfred Morley and Edgar Watteau
were the remaining actlce members ol
the company, and active members thej
literally were, never having less than
four or five parts. They Impersonated
princes and beggars, dukes and detec
tives, with equal ease and skill, and
sometimes all four characters In tht
same piece.
It was a great wonder how they evei
remembered what their names were In
the plays, but a greated wonder how
they had any of their beautiful curly
hair left; for the frantic manner In
which they would rush R. and force on
i. wig while running around to entej
L., and then rush off L. and repeat the
n-lg-eliangtng while getting round tc
enter R., would seem to have been
enough to wear the capillary adorn
ments off an Esau.
The two gentlemen left to make up
the eight were the leader of the orches
tra (whose duty It was, as soon as w
reached a town, to scour the place foi
some musiclnns to lead, otherwise he
had to do It alone and play both first
and last fiddle), and Jim Handy, the
property man, who did a little, and
very oftpn a great deal, of everything.
He would disappear In the morning
and return In time to take tickets that
evening, having billed the company foi
two weeks ahead in other places ad
interim. He was luggage superintend
ent, doorkeeper, flyman, bill distribu
tor and stage carpenter, besides going
on as a mob or army. When not other
wise engaged he held the prompt-book
Of course there was a manager, but
lie didn't count for anything. Mana
gers never do. except on one partlculai
day each week; and sometimes even
then they count for lees than at any
Other time.
We were a contented little company,
and were quite happy amorig ourselves,
until a series of bad houses, and a post
ponement of the salary-day, made us
gloomily prophetic and generally dis
trustful. Nor were our hope3 In any
way Increased by observing long con
fidential conversations between Jiff
Handy and the manager.
We argued that that augured badly
and so, after consultations innumerabl
among ourselves, we deckled to request
tho manager to hand over our salaries
We drew lots to see who should de
mand the money, and It fell to Rawdon
When that gentleman mustered ut
courage enough to go to the manager's
room, he found that that worthy had
)ust departed by the train for London,
leaving behind a note stating he had
gone to town to engage a great lady
"tar" anil to get some printing done;
that he would be back In two days, and
that he had arranged with the land
lord for our board and lodging. This
was all true; and on tho second day
;he manager returned, accompanied by
tho celebrated tragedienne, Miss ,
but why mention her name, and It Is
possible that you have seen her act,
and that Is all you need to know.
She was a tall. statPly, and handsome
lady, and not nt all averse to homage
from the opposite sex. By the second
night, therefore, she had fairly capti
vated all the gentlemen; but two of the
men being married aud quite out of the
question, the field was left open to Al
fred Morley and Edgar Watteau. These
two gentlemen paid the lady all sorts
of attentions, and fell desperately Id
love with her.
On the third evening the great tra
gedienne was honored by a call, and ae
she was coming off after having with
great satisfaction acknowledged the
lavor, Morley stood ready to pull the
curtain aside, so as to permit her tc
back off bowing. Just as she reached
tilie entrance and was making her last
now, Morley was thrust aside, and
Watteau, taking I1I3 place, held the
curtain for the lovely actress, and re
ceived a sweet smile of thanks.
The eyes of Morley flashed Are to
auch an extent that a cigar could al
have been lit at them.
"Miscreant;" he hissed In the ear ol
Watteau. "YOu snail pay for this!"
"I shall, sir." answered Watteau.
"You sihall hear from me to-morrow
morn,"
"I hope so," replied Watteau.
Then both scowling at each other,
each one tapped his left hip where
the sword ought to be turned up his I
nose, and snapping his fingers, as
though tossing a pinch of salt over hie
shoulder, withdrew. Thr, quarrel might,
and probably would, have ended here,
had it not been for Rawdon and Ton
less, who, anxious for a bit of fun,
kept the two rivals apart, and encour
aged them In everything tbey suggest
ed. So, behold the adversaries on the
field of honor; the ground measured,
and everything ready for one to van
quish and the other to fall, with one
tri lng exception the pistols were old
fashioned ones that had been made bo
fore flint-lock had gone out of use.
They had boon liorrowed for the oc-
caslon from Jim, Who 'had used them
merely as ornaments for his villains,
and tt It was necessary for anybody to
be killed In the piece, Mr. Handy fired .
off his only pistol In one of the wings.
WMien the fact that the pistols were 1
useless became known, both principals, (
who had been very pale before, began
to scowl at each other with renewed j
vfftor, and whispered each to his sec- j
ond that something must be done.
"Let them try swords. I have a pall !
of foi'j without buttons on them. 1
brought them In case of an emergen- j
cy," said Mr. Rawdon, who was Watt-
ems 'a second, to Mr. Tonless, the soconi
of Motley.
"My principal knows nothing 01
r.uart and tierce," said Mr. Toilless.
"All the better," answered Mr. Raw
don: "neither does mine."
"My principal wishes me to state,1
mid Mr. Tonloss, "that neither of the
principals know anything more of tht
sword exercise than that contained li
tho Richard the Third combat, but ai
your principal has Invariably playec
Rlchniand to my principal's Richard
It Is manifest tihat that would be some
what unfair. Yet we are determine
to go on if yon cftn suggest some modi
of bo doing."
"As your principal, Mr. Tonless,"
said Mr. Rawdon. "has played Claude
Melnotte to my principal's Colonel Da
mas, I think that balances matters
and If there Is to be a fight they'd bet
ter proceed."
"Enough!" said Mr. Tonless. "So lei
It be!"
At this dread word each of the prin
cipals bent the right knee, held the left
hand high up In the air, and commen
ced to bore with the sword as though
It were a huge brad-awl.
Slash came the weapons, and, at th
came time, a loud scream was heard
The scream, or rather screams, come
from the throats of Mrs. Rawdon and
Mrs. Tonless, who. accompanied by the
manager, here arrived upon the scene
"Hold, upon your lives!" cried Mrs
Rawdon, in her heaviest tones.
As this was exactly what both prin
cipals had been endeavoring to do all
the morning, the advice was pleasant
to them, and they dropped their wea
pons. "To fight for such a conceited mini
ns she Is," said Mr. Rawdon, In con
temptuous voice.
Mrs. R. had been cut out of all the
heavy parts since the arrival of the
ctar. and was a trifle Jealous.
"What is all this aboiit?" Inquired
the manager.
He was soon told, and them, bidding
the four men follow him, he led them
to the hotel an'd Into the tragedienne'
room. There, bidding them to be seat
ed he left, and soon returned with Jim
Handy.
"Tell Jim what the cause of the af
fair was," said he.
Rawdon thereupon told Jim how the
duel was to be fought because each
man loved the fair actress.
"Why, you fools," said Jim, "she'e
my wife; I've been married to her thre
years."
This put a different complexion on
the whole affair. Mr. Morley at once
said that he had been misunderstood
by his second; for although lie enter
tained the greatest respect for the
creat tragedienne, he had never had
any feeling for her that could be called
by the name of the tender passion.
What had caused him to challenge his
colleague was the Insulting manner In
which he had treated him.
Mr. Watteau said he held the same
fetlings of respect for the actress as
his worthy friend, Mr. Morley, and fur
ther, on consideration, he felt he had
treated Mr. Morley wrong; he was sor
ry for It, and begged his pardon like 0
man, a gentleman, and an actor.
Everybody then shook hands, and
raid everybody el? had acted In 8
highly creditable manner, and so end
ed the great tragedy or comedy.
FtrunRti SupiirKtlOoii In KumIu.
A curious case of gross superstition
was recently brought before the Crim
inal Sessions Court at Samara, in Rus
sia. Six peasants were tried and sen
tenced to Imprisonment for terms ol
various duration up to four months foi
deliberately disinterring the body of t
woman who had died of Intoxication
and floating It down the Volga as 8
moan3 of causing rain. It seems tc
be quite a fixed belief among the Rus
sian peasantry that throwing the dead
body of a drunkard into the river is a
sure cure for want of rain.
SWionl YiirilR.
A most Interesting and valuable va-
cation work has been done by the
Massachusetts Emergency and Hygiene
Society in order to make the vacation
a happy time for poor children. Elev
en school yards were open, where a few
years ago the little ones had only the
Blreets for a playground. Each yard
was open about three hours a day, and
the games were in charge of some
merry, helpful grown person, able and
willing to teach the children the best
ways of employing their playtime.
Affrii ull uro In Die Si linola.
The study of agriculture in the com-
Ifioii sclTools is receiving the attention
of many of the thinking men and wo
men all over this country. The facut-tic-3
of ficmo of the agricultural col
leges have taken up the discussion
Tho St. Louis Journal of Argrculture
says: "Half the population of the
United States live in the rural districts
Why not give them nil a chance to un-
derr.iiml tho prlucplcs uni'e-lylng theii
avocation?
Munh unci (HtM-lpM.
A ramper returning from the north
ern Kocky Mountains, where he had
brcn exploring glaciers, a lively advo
cate u E the use of cereals in camp, owns
up In Harper's Weekly that perhaps he
carried too far his advocacy of oat-
meal, rice and hominy. He says: "i
overheard one of the men discontent
f dly reply to one who aHked If we had
!-,l;ed much game, 'Oh, no! we lust
iivid on rouHh and glaciers during thai
v.l.olj trip.
Oil tl- Hrlirlit Hide.
Ti npMir.lHt is one who sticks 1
Eu closely to the brighter side
!lr .vunKln't walk within the shade.
Though Irom the heat he died.
Detroit News.
A Timly Id.a.
'So time like the present and no
present like time," remarked the gay
youth, as be preaentcg, hla channel
wUh a watch. . . .
THE CHICKEN COULD READ.
Cn.of AbsolnteOamenesson the One ITnft
nuil Knowledge of Kngllsh on the Other.
This Is an Instance where the chick
en could read. "It's a case of absolute
Kaitncne-ss on the one linnd and a
knowledge of English on the other,
knowledge or llJlgllsn on me umir,
remarked Deputy Collector of Customs
()7.enne. of the Tcche district, the othei
!bJ5i5:SS1B wrtfck!
er.s. Well, I have a good reason ror it,
but that's not the question. About two
t-r.s. wen, 1 have a goo reason ror it,
- . 11
weeks ago I concluded not to sot any
more came eges on account of the late
ness of the Beason, so I gathered a lot
of the tecs deposited by the liens 111
various portions of the yard and plac
c-fl them In a nest, intending to take
Hicni Into tho house for use there.
Among the lot was an egg belonging
to a 'dunghill fowl, and this I marked
'no good' and placed with the otners,
Leaving the nest for an hour I found
upon my return that a hen, one 01 in
game ones, had taken .possession anc"
was setting for dear life. I thought I d
let her hatch, and the next morning ,
when I went to the nest I found the egg
marked 'no good' on the straw outside,
TWnking It had fallen out 1 piacea 11
again in the nest and left. The next
stTaw1. STlid Z Z
middle of the lot In the nest I thought
thin ifunnv. I once more piaceu tn 1
e-gg in the nest, again in the centre ot I
ine 101, ana xnen went uUlD.u. causeiie , tie w,sest and understands
?KraanSSSk,,Sri!i j hand has been given to
tbe ben looking at the eggs. In a mo- him ; for his mind, not his hand, has
mont she found what she wanted and taught him the arts. Kxquisite de
proceeded to roll with her bill an egg jcacv 0f touch is attained by practice,
from the nest to the ground. She rolled w;,,' . . , t tln;nt,.
It several feet away, and then, as 11 1
reconsidering her Intention to leave II
thus, deliberately cracked the shell. 1
picked up the pieces ana saw mat n
was the 'no eood egg. Not only hac"
the hen been able to read, but she had
been too dog-gonod game to natcn s
dung-hltr egg." New Orleans Times
Domocrat. Sound Dotlurtlve HemonlnR.
An amusing Incident occurred in the
Hope Chapel Sunday school last Sun-1
day. The lesson of the day was iounu
In the text, "For He shall gird you
about with ereat strength." As the
superintendent passed among the class
es, .he finally stopped at one composed
of half a dozen pickaninnies, who were
doing their best to absorb tne explan
ations of their teacher.
"Well. Mrs. , he remarked
-are you getting along nicely to-daj
with the lesson?"
Well no." she replied. I Una 11
rather difficult to make the class un
derstand It."
"Why, it Shouldn t be so dlmcuit,
said the superintendent. "You under
stand what the word gird meaus, don'i
vou. children?"
There were many dutnous snaKes 01
fSo head, but no replies in the aturm
atlve. "Why. now," he continued, ns he
moved his hands in front of him li
Imitation of a man tightening a belt
"supposing you were going to run 8
race, why wouia you iigm-eu juui
belt?"
To hold vour pants up. squawked
(wo of the youngsters in concert, fine"
the superintendent turned his face tc
Ijide the smile that the conclusive ae-
iuctlon had produced.
llrowu' lliircl Link.
"Hold on; I've got another hard luci
storv for you," exclaimed Brown. 1 es
terday a pretty little spaniel took e
fancy to me and lollowoti me an ovei
town. I swore at him, caastu mm anc
Lhrew rocks at him, but he would sneali
back as soon as my back was turned
aud I would ilnd him at my heels In c
moment.
'He followed me all day, till about 4
o'clock, when I happened to step Into e
market street cigar store. There I reac
1 placard giving a description of the
loe that had been following me ana 01-
fering f 15 reward for his return to his
owner, who has an otnee up stairs.
was just in time to see a messenger 003
going up stairs with the dog under his
arm to cet the rewaru. &an r rancis-
co Post.
Even With the Editor.
roetlc-looking Voting Man "I've
with this manuscript "
Clever Comic Editor "bhovo H ir
the waste paper basket, please. I'm
very busy now and haven t time to ao
It my self.'
"I'oetlc-looklng Young Man ttnrow-
Inig the manuscript in the waste pa.pei
basket) "I ve come from tne inea-
tre. and the manuscript I have Just
thrown in the waste paper basket is
your comic drama, which the manager
begs me to return to you with thanks
many thanks. He Bugj;csts you should
sell it to an undertaker, to he read at
a funeral."
Exit poetlc-looklng individual, gentlj
Smiling. London Tia-uit3.
It' l ocal Ion.
"Ah. for a lar.io back. I presume?"
inquired the druggist, suavely.
"No," replied the callow poet, wne
had asked for a porous plaster, "for
writer's cramp."
"Pardon me. but how can you suppij
It to your wrist?"
"It isn't my wiiiit it a In my stom
ach." Truth.
rnmpenifttlnu in All Thing!.
"There is one thing that I must saj
for Iilowhard and that dangnation
trombone of his."
"What's that?" '
"He has driven all the cats into an
other neighborhood to do their aeren-
idlng.' Detroit Free Press.
Vrck.cl.
iA ahrvk. a Rfinpfll. v
A KeaTTCfr. a thumD. T
A Kirl In a lumn. '
- A bloomer all torn,
- , A maiden forlorn.
: Springfield Monitor.
A Mn of I'.Hce.
Mudce No, I shall not quarrel witl
rarsons. He Is completely beneatr
aV notice.
Yabsley You don't tell us? I 'dldn'l
know he was so good a fighter as thut
Tho Sense of Touch,
The sense of touch is the simplest,
but at the same time one of the most
important special senses of the human
ncarTy
face of
orcitnism. It is possessed by
) . ..1 .1 ......1 I.,,;,
mi "jiuuiin in fctutiai ouiuai. kii
t,e body, but finds its highest develop-
. ; .1 i,.ln,ia 1
The true skin contains rnuhitudes ;fat.pr(;du';llg food But it
mauicum hiumu m
papilla;, about one-hundredth of an
nrtrt-fl liMniuhU .irriiifrdil m rrtva fit
- ............. . .....r. . (
inch in lcneth. It is estimated that .
there are 20,000 of these papilla; in a
square inch of the palmar surface of
the hand. The cuticle is absolutely
essential to the sensation of touch,
far when the true skin is laid bare by
a burn or blister, the only feeling
that it experiences from contact is
one of pain, not that of touch. The
cuticle shields the nerve tiiamcnts
from .vrert ,.ontact with external ob-
. T . - delicate at the
"F3 ""t,-.-, i".
one of the most important organs.
Uuflon declares that with hngcrs
tw:re as nllmeroiis and twice as lonsz
we would become proportio.iately
wiser, waien, uu,uvci, iauS.u u.ai
man is tne wisest 01 animais, not iie-
cause he possesses the hand, but be-
-" - .
sculptor and musician would be rude
indeed. Jenness Miller's Monthly,
Fire at Lewistown, Saturday, de
stroyed fifteen stables, including two
liveries; W. A. Felix's wholesale groc
ery, V. H. Felix's undertaking estab
lishment, Spangler's tinware nnntifar.
hiring department, and l'eter Dreyers
barber shop and dwelling. The
Miller House was badly damaged.
The loss will amount to between
$35,000 and $40,000. It is nearly
all covered by insurance. The origin
of the fire is unknown.
While reading a letter from her
sister and walking on the railroad, at
Mosiirove, Lycoming County, Nora
Reed was killed by a train on Friday.
An unknown man was cut in two
by a Western Maryland train near
York, on Friday.
Biliousness
Is caused by torpid liver, which prevents diRt'S-
tion and permits food to ferment and putrlfy in
the stomach. Then follow dizziness, headache,
If not relieved, bilious fever IS 11
or blood poisoning. Hood's III )
X 1113 BHUHIIIIWI vv'
rouse tbe liver, euro heartache, dizziness, con
Btipution, etn. '2ft cent. Sold hy nil dnipplsts,
1110 Ollly 1 Ills VO utHU Willi iiuuu a oui3tiuiiiu.
HUMPHREYS'
No.
No.
1 Cures Fever.
2 " Worms.
No.
No.
No.
No.
3 " Infants' Diseases,
( 4 " Diarrhea.
8 " Neuralgia.
9 Cures Headache.
No. lO " Dyspepsia.
No. 11 " Delayed Periods,
No. 12 " Leuchorrea.
No. 14 " Skin Diseases.
No. 13 Cures Rheumatism.
No. 16 " Malaria.
No. 20 " Whooping Cough
No. 27 " Kidney Diseases,
No. SO " Urinary Diseases
No. 77 " Colds and Grip.
Sold by Druggists, or sent prepaid on
receipt of price, 25c., or 0 lor 51.
Dn. Humphreys Homeopathic Manuai
of Diseases Mailed Fbeb.
Humphrey!' Med. Co., Ill William St., K.T,
NAHAI.
CATARRH
is a local disease
and
lstlieremtltofenlds
mid siKliltm ell
nmtlo ennnL'e.
It can be cured by a
llousuiit remedy
which ih nppueu ui
rectly Into the uos-
n iHlrlls.
Kl Y'H
CREAM BUM
opens und cleanses
Allays pain und In
llaminatlon, Heals
tlifi W(in-H, l'rotecis
thu Membrane from
COLD 'n HEAD
Colds, ltestnres the Senses nf Taste nnrt Smell
Tlie Halm is quickly absorbed nd gives relief
at once, i nee. an cenig ut nmyginisor uj niuii
K impleH inc. hv mull.
THE
TRAINED NURSE
touches the Spot
BfiUodcniia Planter
1
Try the COLUMBIAN a year.
:atarrh
comes to
There is more than one
to increase in weight. A free supply of sugar will do this ;
so will the starchy foods; cream, and some other fats. But
n 4 . 1 11. - A. 1 1.
-- - j - 1 t , , , .
to become fleshy, and yet remain 111 poor health, IS HOC What
OTt fV,,f1 ,rf ri'1 i"noi-nicna tbo vrr?o-1ir Vipp.hi ?( it IS A
" . . , .
alters or ciiana-cs. the rjroccsses ot nutrition, restoring uie
I 1 r . e ii ;
uuai Jiuicuuus ui uic vwiuus
of Cod-liver Oil with hypophosphites, is pure cod Hver in a
digested condition. So that when a person gains in weight
from taking Scott's Emulsion, it is because of two things :
First, the oil has acted as a fat-producing food ; and, second,
it has restored to the body a healthy condition. Such an
improvement is permanent; tt
t ct. and )i a bottl.
COLLEGE
Of
Columbian Building,
Will be organized OCTOBER 29th,
largest number oi students of
.$100
In order to facilitate organizing
scholarships will be sold for only $50 each. A scholarship will entitle the
holder to graduating courses in the Business, Shorthand, Typewriting, and
English departments. Time unlimited.
n other schools are from $100 to $200.
For full information, write to
G.W.WILLIAMS, Pres. wm
ALEXANDER BROTHERS & CO.
DEALERS IN
Cigars, Tobacco, Candies, Fruits and Huts
SOLE AGENTS FOR
Henry Mail lard's Fine Candies. Fresh Every "Week.
ZFtstitiz Goods S2eci.XjTt.
SOLE AGENTS FOR
F. F. Adams & Co's Fine Cut Chewing Tobacco
Bole agents for the
Honry Clay, Londres, Normal, Indian Princess, Samscn, Silver Ash
Bloomsburg Pa.
fVide Iow Jiid
For the finest and best stoves, tinware, roofinjr, spouting
and general job work, go to
.Buildings heated by steam, hot air or hot water in a satistac
tory manner. Sanitary Plumbing a specialty.
I have the exclusive control of the Thatcher steam, hot
water and hot air heaters for, this territory, which is acknowl
edged to be the best heater on the market. All work guaranteed.
IRON STREET.
SHOES
We buy right and sell right.
OUR SUCCESS IS BASED ON THIS FACT.
Honest trading has won us hosts of customers but we want more.
We are selling good shoes, so good you ought to see
them. Drop in and we will make it pay you.
Cohijeti Ikon and Maix Sts.
IF YOU ARE IN NEED OF
or OIEi CLOTH,
YOU WILL FIND A NICE LINE AT
W. II. BIOWEM
2nd Door above Court IloubC
A large lot of Window Curtains in stock.
A6SCF0R THE
Ban
GIVES TeBKTUGHT IN TflC W5W5 ASiyTEiySW
FOR SALE BY
THE ATLANTIC REFINING CO.
stay
food which will cause the body
docS far move than this. It
. J .:,.. .
wgaus uuu uMUW.
comes 10 stay.
SCOTT ft liOWNE, Chmlt, Mew York.
ZBTTSXIfcTIESS
BLOOMSBURC, PA.
One school in seven cities having the
any business college in America.
for $50.
the Bloomsburg branch, the first fifty
1 he regular rates for these courses
iams' College.
following brands of Cigars-
Good Woifk.
W. W. Watts, on Iron street.
W. W. WATTS,
Bloomsburg Va.
10-iSMjr
SHOES
W. H. floore.
ON TIGHT" AND
Indianapolis journal. . . ,.