G THE COLUMBIAN. BLOOMSBURG, PA. : cnuors ooitoiwatiom. T Sog te fully frown at tie tni ef tewcoad rear. AfxML 1.0W pl f to in London baLeedon to fewer ttan IW jroai Tk London Sctool Board bu K atbooia taatr it cfcri. Mkenn on ticyelt ar now to M ten tn pome of tb s iiurti of Paria. 'AioUtr strtcM ij being ia3e t srM IJvcrjot" win rooopci rr- It U (suoa'.H that tae railwari tvtac into Uonayn 8 trout eu.ow.'.w pvUarM of rztu rer annum. X UcJt plaJe 1 treTlent in tae MtgfcborrxKMl cf TowoiTilie, Queen laad, tn4 tr.;e are f.or.ed to be 07 tac by bundreii Callv. It la believwi ttt tfce first to! unit of Usr4 Beons!ii2 i ia;r wll) be l m4 titter tt t&e end of till or tue tr-Hinlng of text year. H mc:ne cr flerlet taj teen in pottlte m or on uie for more ttan two rears previous to the application tMa fact wiil ?ceri:r prevent tfce graaf ian of a patent. Tt wbeat of wutntm covttrt con araa store tltromtncH'Js iban ttiiU gnj.u tn tEprite or northern ios-9, aad bance Is tetter culled for tne zcaa atkctsra of macaroni. 1T DpartBnt cf Agriculture state tfiit toe average cost of leniiu ara for an acre of w!:?at in New Haxp fttrej is tae newer &taua tiia iSaa cata Utile tp-jre. Hrr anl or:?:tal des'.gtis for omi meats, patterta. tritu. pictures to te aiintM, ran, woven or otaerwle work ml In or ca an artioe to be taaaufac tarti may be rttfLtta. Wbeat stands at the bead of foo4 jralna, co&ta:E.!bg not only a consid erable proportion of starch, but a;. ucut of the Litrc?-:nous tiesats adapted to the auj'port of life. Tbe first cheaicai factory opened in Ala country was In Salem. Maj-s.. in 18X1. At first treat objection wsa made to Uie establifficent of the factory. tn? persons living near claiming that tt fames of the chemicals poisoaei tie Ur and made Hf intolerable. - Between the ordinary harmless inik and such gr':ies as the cobra aal viper there Is great structural Clffr ence in the forrcatlon of the head. In ilghly poisonous snak-.s the lower Jaw bone Is 8horter.ed. while the transverse nr Inner Jaw-l-cne Is corTespoailngly leiLgtlitned. Kites will likrty be used In future warfare for carrying such explosives as dynamite, i'cr this purpose a series of seren kites, built on light bamboo frames, will be employed, and the ex plosives could be carried to an enor mous distance, and then automatically dropped by pulling a string. Cyelomania has attacked the Gov ernment omcials in London severely, and every day six or seven machines sra stacked in the tall of the Foreign OSIce, three or four o'itsido the Ixxal Government Board, nd a& many at the India Office. A dozen machlaej can al ways, be found witbln the precincts of the House of Commons. Slowe House, Buckingham, so inti mately connected wlih the royal fam ily of France, is to be let, or the vast estate wlil be sold. The stately tnces tral bouse of the Duke of Buckingham a&d Cbandos la one of the most nota ble In the whole kingdom. It contains ovtr 100 rooms, and is said :o require a fortune of JlOO.GOO a year to keep it op. Tbe doings of the Sultan'? court at Constantinople are least kno n of tboee of any royal court. Th'r first rei son for this is that tbe Sultac is in con stant terror of assasHinition owing to tn Intestine discords of his kingdom. The consequence is that when he goes out he never lets it be known till the last moment where he is going to. By far the most remarkablj imita tion of our method of digesting food li furaiKhed by the Sundew and Venus' Fry-trap. When a fly or other insect alights upon the leaf of either o these Iiianta it is seized by the curving over of hairs, or the sudden clrging of tbe two halves of the leaf. Then a glull noos fluid is poured out, which cls aoives all the soft tissues of tb9 insect, leaving only the wiegs and hard 'nteg-amenta. THIS AD THAT, a - - r Tiie elevator boy has much to oo toward the elevation of the masses. "How often do you cut your grass?" "Every time my neighbor hai his lawn mower sharpened." There are 25,000 Hebrews in the city at Amsterdam, Holland, and over 10, 000 of them are dealers in diamonds. A reporter for a Wisconsin newspa per writes: "Those who personally know our esteemed fellow citizen, Col. Dash, will regret to hear that he was brutally assaulted last evening, but not kUled." The Boston Beacon observes that it la all right for the summer girl to lavgn at the old man for eating with his knife, but when it comes to signing checks with a pen, she thinks he's Jiut roo lovely. A Pittsburg judge has decided that a policeman killed in removing a ltve electric wire from a sidewalk Is not guilty of contributory negligence. It was the duty of the oncer to remove the wire, the Judge held. You didn't stay long at that hotel which advertised a fine trout stream in the rlclnity?" "No; the hotel man ex plained that it was a fine trout stream, but he couldn't help it If the trout hadn't sense enough to find it out." BAT BLR APPROPRIATE. TJIck Blue, of Kansas, is a pleating rarlatlon from the Browns, Whites, Blacks and Cnys. , Chairman Tov.naker presided at a m.ent Kansas convention, and had most of ti c!u:hlr.g t-jrn off. Miss Jut-ip is the- fltMngly athletic name of the new woman who tfaches physical culture i;j the Sedalla Chau tauqua. One of the roost elaborate cyclone cellars in the zc,.!.yr belt has been con Bt meted In (y.t-n. Mo., by a gentle man blcsiryJ v.i.h the name of Cave UuIlt- - SIlTjr TEI5GS. t afnt afr1 rv make, or la.!, bu.. or worm, or mire. Aft' thtr.ri 'at rtrls tt tkeerwl or I thln re awful nice? I'm prtxty brar. I gut; an yet I bats to t to b4. For. when I'm tuck4 op wirm a saog a' whn tnv prrr ar .ail. Mother t:s me ' Harpy Dream" aad tak away t!n U.ht, An- lret me lyln' all a'.on an' reetn' th:r.f at right: Sorr.ovm tlxr'r In e comer, aotoa- t:me :hey'r by tbe door. P-:..--'T,'t thr-r all a-ttanltn' la the n'5 !: c tb Bor; P??r.im-j they're a-)tt!n' down, some- t:rr theyr wa!n roun Po eor-.:y aa' eo crepylike tby aerer mk a eojr.d' Bon-.;m ihey are as b'.a;k as ink, aa tir t mt they're white But rh' coior ain't no 4:r7erenc when yoa r-t tfi:r.. at olirht! Once. hn I lik4 a feller 'at hal Jat move J on our tret. An- fi-.her ent roe up to bed without a b" to U I woke ap In the dark an' aw thlr.fS tr,d;o' In a row. A-lvk n' at rtt cros-ey5 an' p'lntla' at rr. o' Oh. my: I wa ekeered that time I n-vT p' a mite If. a:mo-t alius I'm bad I thlnjs at Lucky thlr. I alr.'t a rtrl. or I'd be skeer i to 4-aih: V.e.n' a hoy. I d-j'ik my bad an bold my breath; An' I am oh' o jerry Vm a naughty boy. an' then I prom! to be better an' I say tny pray er aca n: 1 Cran n-. tell, me thaf. the only way to , make It right I V:t,f'. a fV.'.er has been wicked an' sees thir.gs at r.ifh:: j Ar.' ha wher. other naughtyboys wouid coax m Ir.to :n. I I try to j-a-h the Tempter', voice 'at urjr- me within; ! An' wr.tr. they'f r!e for supper, or cakes 'a: b:g an' nice. I I want tobut I do not paes my plate Tr them thlrgi twlc'. No. ruther lt Ptarratlon wipe me !ow;y ; out o' Fight Than I fhould keep a-'lvin on an' eeln' , ;i:r.?f at night! Eugene Field, i A FISH STOET. An Oregon Rancher Say. Carp Eat BU Meadow Oral. A rancher, whose place is on tte bot tom alnz the Wi'.liamette slough, be low Holbrook station, was In the city yesterday to find out whether he bad any recourse against the United Sta'ei Fish Commission for the lntroJuc.lon c carp into the rivers In this section. He says tht fifh are destroying hl meadows by eating his grass and grub bing up the roots. As the water over Cows his meadows the carp follow it up in thouian is, the small ones, weigh ing about three pounds, pushing their way up where the water is only three Inches or so in depth and clearing oil all vegetation, so that when the water recedes he will have mud flats In the place of meadows. He says that while looking at the fish eating his grass cn Sundays te got so mad that he took off his shoes and stockings and went out into the shallow water and attack ed them with a hoe. He slashed a lot of them in two. but when the drove be came alarmed, and made for deep water they bumped their noses against his shins and came near knocking him ofl his feet, and his ankles are all black and blue from the thumping he sot. As for driving the carp away, he say. he might as well have tried to sweep back the rise of the Columbia with a broom. -Portland Morning OregonUn. A Pie for th. Inonrenta. My trembling hands must write 8 freest against the slaughter of the in nocents. I quote from a writer in Flor ida: "The birds are killed at the sea son of the year when they are rearing their young. On passing the rookeric where the hunters had been a few days previous, the screams and calls of the starving young birds were pitiful to hear. Some were Just fledged while others were so young that they could make but little noise. But all must in evitably starve to death. I cannot de scribe the horror it gave me to hear the pitiful screams of the dying little blrdB. If every woman who wears birds could hear those cries the work would soon cease. Xo Christian should ever carry a grave upon her head, even If made of lace and silk. They come and sing no more. Their wings, heads and whole bodies in countless thou sands have been sold for ornaments to gratify female pride and vanity. We never see a lady's bonnet bordered with the carcases or wings of the slaughter ed songsters of the forests that It does not remind us of the coffin and the sepulchre." Does any woman imagine these withered corpses are beautiful? Not so; the birds lost their beauty with their lives. "Blessed are tbe merciful." I think so much of this paper that I feel sure it is as anxious as I am to see the dear little songsters preserved and without arsenic. Mrs. Maria S. Crocker. Summer Vacation In Winter. I would like to tell the Tablers a good way to enjoy their summer vaca tion In the winter. At least, we have tried it and enjoy it very much. While on your vacation, gather flowers, ferns, etc., from the different places you visit, press and label as you gather them, and take them home with you. Provide yourself with a stiff-covered notebook and a bottle of mucilage. -Some cold, stormy day In winter, when perhapB you are f'-elir.g dull or blue, take out your notebook and mucilage, get pen and Ink, spread your souvenirs on the table before you. see that the room is warm and comfortable, and you are ready for a pleasant afternoon. Fasten your first flower or fern Into your note book and describe the place and cir cumstances of the time In which you picked it. V.'ith the second flower do the same, and so ou as long as you like or have time. As you thus recall the pleasures of your vacation you will be living thein over again, and tbe sturm, the cold or the blues will be for gotten. When flnl&hed, your book raiikes a nice souvenir to lock at any tims. Ph ase try this and report next winter. One of Ten Daughters. j Tommy Mamma, I wish you wert I Interested in foreign lai-salons. .Mam- ma Why? Tommy Cos Billy liar- low b luamma is, and she doesn t notice when Billy does naughty things. A LITTLI tT. XTfc Ild ycra nay her hom U Men ly furnished? Clara-I said It wa furnished at great expense. Brooklyx Lire. " When it berlns to get real summery hot. can't we manage to have th weather man arreeted for scorching ? Philadelphia North American. "What a heap of style Jimmle Wat son's wife throws on." "Oh, yes; Jim mle started a bicycle repair shop lasl week." Cleveland Plain Dealer. Brlggs Does your wife laugh when yon tell her a funny story? Braggs Oh, yes. I always tell her beforebani that It Is fanny. Indianapolis Journal She Do you know anything worw than a man taking a kls without ask ing for It? He I do. "What, for In stace?" "Asking for it without tsk tng it." Mrs. Winks I don't see how yon could afford to pay $100 for a wheel Mr. Winks I couldn't. That's why I have got to pay 105 for IL Socservjilf Journal. Tommr Paw. what Is a designing Tlllain? Mr. Figg Oh. the description would apply to one of these poster art ists about as well as anything In dianapolis Journal. Sweet Is the summer breete that goes To gladden toiling man , , Especially the one that Bows ' From an electric fan. Washington Star. "Look here. Bawl Barings. I've proposition to make." "What Is It, Noopops?" "Tou stop talking about your bicycle and I'll not say another word about my smart baby." Truth. Justice Too are charged wiih steal ing Col. Julep's chickens. Have you any witnesses? I'ncle Moe I fc?b it I don't steal chickens Ufa' witaesses Amuslcg Journal. Toung Husband Are you in favor oi free silver or the gol standard, my love? Toung Wife Oh. I don cere, mv dear, so long 3? you have plenty of It. Philadelphia North American. "We cannot find a place to go this summer." "What's the trouble?" "We want a summer resort from which we won't have to write home that we sleep under blankets." Chicago Record. "Say, Dobbs, all your family are away; what do you keep your alarm clock going for?" "1 want to wake up every hour anl reiiize that I don't tave to walk the baby." Chicago Record. George How do you like It, Cora? Cora It's perfectly fOTeiy. But wnat do they have all these policemen at the game for? on. I know; it is to keej the men from stealing taes. Somrviile Journal. Rugby Our landlady is one of the most expert calculators In town. Wil. kins Is she? Rugby-Tep. We had beans for dinner to-day and she asked me how many I would have. Cleveland Plain Dealer. Edith and Mabel had Just put their dollies in their little crib. Said Edith, with a sigh of relief. "There, I m thankful we've got the children to bed. We shall have a little peace now." Boston Transcript Wheeler I see by the papers that a Chicago bicycler was held up by two men. Sprocket (feeling if the court plaster was in place on Lis face) '1 wish to gracious it had been me! Yonkers Statesman. Jilson Is Jubbs sick or traveling? Jabson Neither. What makes you think so? Jilson I've been looking out of the window the last ten minutes and I haven't seen him playing a hose on his lawn. Roxbury Gazette. Judge What is the ground for com plaint in this divorce case? Counsel Pfease. your honor, the main plea will be incompatibility of temper In regard to the merits of their respective bicy cles. New York Evening Telegram. "How is Jenny See getting along with her bicycle lessons?" "Oh, nice ly." replied the young enthusiast. "She has only taken six now, and, do you know, I never saw any one fall off a wheel so gracefully:" Buffalo Ttvjes. VBEEL3 WITHIN WHEELS. Little Black Bear, a Nez Perce chief, not long ago swapped several horses for a safety. An Englishman has started out on a 6,000 mile ride to Irkutsk on a wheel, carrying his baggage. There Is a terror of the town In Kansau City who reads his morning newspaper as he scorches through the streets. There are probably more bicycles pej head of white population in Johannes burg, South Africa, than anywhere else in the world. The talent is loud in praise of tbe presence of mind of 'the young man who hitched a life-preserver to his wheel when the excursion steamer broke down. In proportion to the number engaged In it cycling 1b by no means a danger ous pastime. Only 2 per cent of hign way accidents in Great Britain come from bicycles. At a recent bicycle wedding in Auro ra, III., the bride was attired in dark green bloomers trimmed with gold to match her wheel. A bicycle honey moon trip followed. BOSTON IS QUEER. Tier subway 1b to be inspected nexl October by the convention of the na tional funeral directors. Her Sullivan and her Public Library aie her two principal Institutions. But there's the east wind also. Her young man wiio wrote an opera In nineteen hours 1b expected to re store her literary supremacy. Her people when in foreign towns always register from Boston if they live anywhere east of Worcester. Her pride In the Set via, "the largest ship that ever came to Boston," Is touching. The Strvla ranks No. 6 la the Cunatd transatlantic fleet. Her trolley-car conductors quote Horace and her newspapers print 'Planters" for "Plr.utus." Even the Atlantic Monthly irints bad Latin. Her original territory shows a de crease of population, but her suburbi are booming bt&uilfuHy because of the general desire to live out of Boston, yet within range. PATrm TRiunKO. B Kmw How tm Tntla Elpbat, Hot Oof ?Ta Tao Mark for Hlwt. "How long has It Uken you to train these elephants V asked the reporter. "I've bad m three years." replied the keeper. "Been training 'em steady all that time." "Do you have to be sever with them?" "Always. If ever you let an elephant get the upper hand of you Just Once you're a goner. If you try to boss him and he finds you're afraid of him, he'll watch his chance and kill you. Aa elephant ain't ruled by love." "But you reward bim when he has learned his leeeon all right, don't you?" "Oh, yes. He knows If he goes through his performance without a break he'll get a tit-bit of some kind, and If he doesn't he ll get the pitchfork. And sometimes we have to give him the pitchfork anyhow." "Doesn't It require a great deal of patience to train ad elephant?" "Now you're talking, young man. It lake more patience than anything else in this world. An elephant Is a mighty smart animal, but he's tricky. When you think you've got him all right he'll take a wrong shoot, and you have to do it all over again. Patience? You don't know what the word means un less you've trained an elephant," "Is this your boy beret" ..4 ' "Yes." "Are you going to make an elephant trainer of him?" "I used to think I would, but I've given It up." "What's the matter with him?" "Well, hes toe hard to manage. I haven't the patience, I guess." Chi cago Tribune. A Great Catch. Mrs. Housenlot The young man who rails on Addle seems to be a very nice sort of fellow. I think he would make J a nice catch for her. Mr. Housenlot Well, I should say so. He's a baseball umpire and his life is Insured for 140,000. r let Ion. A friend of mine who writes stories the other day had an order for a piece of work to be finished in a great hur ry. He dashed Into it head first, and that night read his Introduction to the family in the dining room for the ben efit of domestic criticism. A servant was clearing the table during the read ing, and when his wife visited the kitchen afterward she asked: "Sure, did that fellow find that girl Mr. Smith was tellin' yez about?" "Mr. Smith will make him find her," the author's wife replied, and then something in the servant's manner led her to think the girl regarded it as a veritable occurrence. So she added: "You know that Is only a made-up story; there were no such people." "What! Mr. Smith made that up .out of his head?" "Certainly." "And he never seen that girl at all?" "There was no such girl to see." The devout daughter of Erin reflect ed a moment. Then she exclaimed: "Sure. Mr. Smith will never get to heaven If he goes around makln' up big lies like that," Brooklyn Life. Boring a W heel. He fixed a passionate, yearning gaze npon her, and his words came slowly and with painful emphasis. "I am about to buy a wheel," he said, "and I have come to you at this crisis in my life to ask your advice upon a matter that is more to me than life It self." For the first time since she become accustomed to wearing bloomers a gen tle bluBh suffused her cheeks, for she realized what was coming. "Speak!" she said, and her breath came in abbreviated bloomers. "Would you or would you not advise me to get a tandem?" he asked, and it was easy to see that his whole future was bound up In the question. Her eyes rested on the ground aa she answered softly: "Get one." "Darling," he cried Joyously, and for a minute or two their heads were so close together that it was Impossible to say which was his Fedora hat and which was hers. And thus they became engaged. Chicago Post Establishing nil Character. " Judge Do you know this man? Witness Oi do thot, yer anner. Judge Is he a man of good moral character? Witness (bewildered) An sure Ol'm not afther understandln' yer 'anner. Judge does he stand fair In the community? Witness By me sowl, Oi don'; ap prehend yer manlng. Judge (irritably) I mean, glr. Is he a good man? - Witness Och. by the holy saints, an' thot he is. Didn't he lick the best mon in the praslnk? And am Oi not that spalpeen meself? Washington Time The r.rouiue Article. "I am beginning to have doubts tbout our prospective son-in-law," &ne said, thoughtfully. "Why? What is the matter with him?" he asked, anxiously. "I'm afraid that his title is spurious thM he really rices not belong to the aristocracy of E irope." "Oh, you needn't worry about that," he replied with evident relief. "I have good reason to know that he is the genuine article. He has already struck me for a loan of J3''0, sgrteing to let that sum be deducted from the dowry cf lila pronpectlva v- ife in order to in sure payment of It." Washington Poiri, r "The Old Soldier's Favorite5, A little bit of pension goes a long way if you chew "Battle Ax' The biggest piece of really high grade tobacco ever sold for 5 cents; almost twice as large as the other fellow's inferior brand "He that works easily works success fully." 'Tis very easy to clean house with SAIPOLJO TEE LATE BILLKfE. Characteristic ol One of Our Creates! Native Humorists. When Bill Nye went to the New York irltf, he was offered $150 a week. "I had to use a great deal of persuasion, said Colonel Cockerill in speaking of it afterward, ' to get him to take up his abode in New York and become a regular member of the World staff. He was afraid of the big city. He thought that his homely humor would not be appre ciated here, and that he would lose his touch with things rural. I convinced him that the metropolis was made up of country born men, :,and that our active, potential citizens loved the smell ol dog fennel, the hum of the bee and the sweet incense of the hay mow on wet days. " Nye never cared much about his personal appearance. He wore clothes simply to cover him, he said, and it was true. Some persons might think that Nye was a peculiarly fortunate man. It is a fact that he was the victim of many misfortunes. Soon after he began to make money by his writings he was afflicted with spinal meningitis, which was epidemic at the time. He had just recovered and had gone to Wisconsin, where he was visiting his brother, when he was caught out in a cyclone and almost killed. About both misfortunes he wrote in such a humorous manner that those who did not know him personally think to this day that he was merely romancing. The incidents were serious realities, however. He used to explain his lack of hair by saying ' that the spinal meningitis loosened the roots and that when the cyclone came along his hair was blown off with the leaves. On another oc casion he seriously assured an inquirer that his head grew faster than his hair. Then he was confined to a hospital for a long time with kidney trouble, and was shipwrecked about a year ago in the Betraudas. Both incidents served as topics for humorous articles. Be Cmvinced. On receipt of ten cents, cash or stamps, a generous sample will be mailed of the most popular Catanh and Hay Fever Cure (Ely's Cream Balm) sufficient to demonstrate its great merit. Full size 50c. ELY EROTHERS, 56 Warren St., New York City. Catarrh caused difficulty in speak ing and to a great extent loss of hear ing. By the use of Ely's Cream Balm dropping of mucus has ceased, voice a nd hearing have greatly improved. J . W. Davidson, Att'y at Law, Mon mouth, 111. Coie Erothers Find a Coal ilice. A dispatch from Beaver MeaJow says that by mere chance Coxe Bros., & Co., recover a property wor'.h millions of dollars. In 1853 the o'J Temperance mine at this place wis set on fire by an explosion and three lives were lost. The maps were lost and all traces of the ramifications of the opening was lost. The r.i;r.e was filled with water and has since bcea closed. Many thousands cf dollars have been spent in endeavoring to find the underground extension with out success. Coxe ten years ago proposed tunneling the Quakake Mountain to reach it but the project, which would cost millions, was aban doned. Since his death the company took the matter up, and recently ar ranged to carry out the scheme. Meanwhile the Cross Creek Coal Co. and YanWickle & Co. were on oppos ite sides of the flooded mine. The searching party carried bore holes ahead of them to avoid a catas trophe. Last Sunday superintendent Kudlich directed his men to put a hole through the roof of the gangway. To their utter astonishment they ran into the long lost mine after drilling five feet The men had to run for their lives from the water which already flooded Beaver Meadow anJ Coleraine, and the mine will Le clear ed in a short time. The terrible risk that !us kn taken is only now appreciated, but the bright prospects for the commun ity percludes any censure. The Shakets of Mount Lebanon, 1 community of simple, honest. God fearing men and women, have pre pared the Shaker Digestive Cordw for many years, and it is always the same, simple, 'honest, curative medi cine that has helped to make th Shakers the healthy, long-lived pePlc that they are. The Shakers neyet have indigestion. This is partly owing to their simple mode of life, partly 10 the wonderful properties cf Sha Digestive Cordial. Indigestion is caused by the stomach glands not supplying enough digestive jllice' Shaker Digestive Cordial supp'-5 what's wanting. Shaker l,;3Crfi Cordial invitror.ifpe tin? stor.i.u't i'; all its glands so that after aw hile tVy don't need help. As evidence of'1 henesty of Shaker Digestive CorcW' the formula is printed on every ',Jtl,e') Sold by druggists, price 10 cents $1.00 per botile. The Colvmiuan will be ?e:'.t f" now until after the election ''r '' cents. Subscribe for it.