THE COLUMBIAN, BLOOMSBURG, PA. AN A jE OF LAW. rut tta l coming very soon when all affaira of life, SYora mattem ef Importance to the little household strife, We'll And are regulated on a plan with. OMt a flaw, Ana ev'rr thought and action 1 provided tar by law. By law we do oiir working and by law wo have to shave; Ttie law will haunt u living, and will fol low to the grave. Tbe matters of the brter must havs been a problem vexed. But now that It Is settled why the que tlon Is: What next? It looks as If In time to come by law we'll have to cook, And If we want 'to read a bit the law will mime the book; In planning for vacations, too, by law wo will be led; By law we'll do our eating and by lawl we'll go to bed. , py law we'll do our talking, aa will, too, the parson preach; .We'll bar all forms of learning, then, but what the law may teach. By law we'll do our courting and by hawi we'll even sigh; SRy law we'll live and grow and fight and love and even die, , The law will lay down rules for us fot every little thing; We'll have to eee a lawyer If we even want to sing; And yet it may be possible the thought must make us pause The trouble is ait present that we have too many laws. Chicago Poet. HER- LOVE STORY, "Aren't you going to speak to me. Miss Noreyg? I've been trying to eaten your eye for some time, but you seem determined not to see me." The girl to whom this remark was nddressed was standing rather apart from the group of people assembled on the lawn at a garden party. She started md looked up suddenly, her face light ing up with pleasure at sight of the man before her, and then held out her hand with a quick gesture of welcome, which he took and held, perhaps a trifle longer than the occasion warranted. "Day dreaming, as usual," he laugh' ed. "A penny for your thoughts." i "They are not worth a penny, they were about you," and Mollie Noreys looked up merrily Into his face as she spoke. "You flatter me and snub me In one breath, In a most cruel manner. Miss Noreys, but to return to practical life, Lave you had any tea?" "No, thank you; I don't care for any." ' "Then, if you really won't have any, come and show me the beauties of this dear old garden, will you?" He spoke the request In an almost commanding tone, but the look that ac companied It made that command dan gerously attractive to the girl. "Of course I will," she answered, briskly. "It is a dear old garden, isn't It, and the roses will be In perfection Just now." "Captain Dalton seems very devoted to that Miss Noreys," one girl said to another. "Yes, indeed, he is with her every where. I hear that at Mrs. Townley's garden party they were together the whole afternoon, and barely spoke to any one else. Such very bad form al together, unless they're engaged. But I don't believe they are." "Engaged! rather not," replied the first speaker with amused scorn. "Capt Dalton is a terrible flirt, and that silly little Mollie Noreys imagines he Is serious- she can't have had much atten tion from men before; her head seems completely turned." "I can't tblnU what he sees In her to admire. I consider her most insignifi cant looking." And the speaker, a very tall, rather florid young woman, looked round as if challenging com parison. "Well, my dear Ada," replied her friend with the slightest suspicion of a sneer, "we can't all be like you, you know, and for my part, I think It is a very good thing that 'beauty Is in the eye of the beholder,' but upon my word I can't imagine what Capt. Dalton sees in hrr to atlmiie. Why, she actually, makes her own frocks." Meanwhile, Capt. Dalton and Molllo had wandered away to the rose gar den. "Let us 6it down here and talk, shall we?" said he, indicating a rustic seat In one of the grottos. "Yes, by all means. And Isn't It all pretty?" she added, enthusiastically, "You ought to he Very grateful to me for Introducing you to such a pretty spot. I was so surprised to see you here this afternoon," she went on, suddenly lifting her eyes, to find his fixed on her this afternoon," she went on, sud denly lifting her eyes, to And his fixed on her in a way that caused her to has tily drop them again. "I though," shy ly, "you didn't care about garden par ties." "Neither do I, and that's why I'm liere, which may sound contradictory; but didn't you tell me you were com ing? I came on purpose to spend the afternoon with you, so now let us en Joy ourselves. Won't you let me get you some fruit? I see some lovely peaches on that little table over there." "I should like a peach very much, but I'm afraid cf spoiling my best and ony gloves." Uy and by, after they had been talk ing for some time, he said, suddenly turning toward her: "Do you know, I ought to have been at another garden party all this time. I promised a fellow I would look In on my way back from here, and give him a seat In my cart back to barracks. It's all your fault, and I shall tell him no." "I am so sorry," Mollie replied, look ing quite grieved. "Did I say you had detained me against my will? On the contrary, I prefer your society." "Indeed, und I Ktl highly flattered!" Jumping up and making him a mock curtesy. "I assure you I mean It, Miss Noreyg. I wish you wouldn't laugh at me." "I think, on the contrary, it Is you who are laughing at me. Truthfully now," looking Bteadlly at her com panion's face, "don't you think be cause I am little you can treat me like a child, who can be flattered with thinking anything. You do not treat me with the same respect you would If I were tail and statel. How I wish I were tally pensively. "It would be J so-wee to be able to look down oo peo- pie from a superior heljJii, V.tic Mrs, Fuller does, for Instance," "I am very glad you are noi like Mrs. Fuller; If you were I shouldn't be here talking to you now." "Shouldn't you? Th"n I am glad too; but how funny of you to like little wo men. I suppose It. i. bpefluse you your self are so tall, and one generally likes one's opposite. I think" she went on after a slight pause, and looking at him steadily "I think you nro too not ex actly conceited but self-reliant, shall 1 say, ever to care for a woman who might teen to be on your level. You would like her to look up to you In every sense of the word, and In fact to be rather dependent on you. Is that not so?" "If you mean that I should not like n great gawky, overbearing woman like Mrs. Fuller, for instance, you are quite right; and what Is more to the point I do like a certain little woman very much a sweet, lovable little woman who, to my mind, is all that a woman should be. You can surely guess? Mol lie, I " ' But the words he would have spoken were checked by the sudden appear ance of two girls in the pathway direct ly in front of him. Hastily dropping Mollle's hand, Capt. Dalton muttered something suspiciously like "Missing word?" you know. And looked both angry and embarrassed. Mollie, with her woman' wits about her, said laughingly to the two girls: "Do come and have some of this lively fruit. I really believe Capt. Dal ton greedily wanted to keep it all for himself. Do have some. I can thor oughly recommend these peaches," at the same time pulling two chairs for ward. "Pray don't trouble, Miss Noreys, we would not interrupt your pleasant tete-a-tete for the world. I am sure you must hate us for bursting upon you in this way." This was said in a tone that was meant to pass for badinage, but which only succeeded in being ill-bred chaff, and as such utterly repugnant to a re fined nature like Mollle's. She flushed up hotly and opened her Hps, as if to speak. Then thinking better of It, she said, turning to Capt. Dalton: "Shall we go back to the lawn, I ex pect my father Is ready to go by this time." And turning as she spoke she walk ed away, her little figure drawn up to its full height, and her eyes glistening with angry mortified tears. She almost ran in her anxiety to get back to the rest of the company, and In fear lest her companion should allude to that other girl's remarks about them both. Meanwhile the two girls who had in terrupted them inopportunely looked at each other In a meaning way, and one of them said, "Well!" with a self-satisfied emphasis on the "well." "All I can say is, that If they are not engaged they ought to be. She can have no sell respect." "She has done all she can to catch him, so I suppose she will be very pleased with herself at her success." Then turning together, they walked back, following slowly behind Capt. Dalton and Mollie. "How do, Dalton?" Bald Major Donne to him a few days later. "Is this a true bill against you?" "What do you mean?" "Come now, my dear fellow, don't pretend to misunderstand mo. You know well enough," this with a mean ing look . "And, by Jove, my boy I congratu late you heartily. A more charming girl it would be hard to find. You must stand us drinks all round, to propose your health and Miss Noreys'." This speech was made at the mesa before several of Capt. Dalton's brother officers. "It's utterly untrue, sir," he answer ed, starting up Indignant and bewild ered at the statement. "Untrue!" reiterated the Major. "1 don't understand. I heard It announ ced as a fact." "Who dared to say such a thing?" "That I must refuse to disclose," an swered Major Donne, now fully aware of his mistake. "Excuse me, sir, but I have a right to know the follow's name, that I may give him a thrashing for daring to couple a lady's name with mine, to her annoyance." "I am exceedingly sorry, Dalton, that you should have had this annoyance, but I had it from a lady, who pro fessed herself to be a great frienj of Miss Noreys, bo, of course, I never doubted the truth of it." "Then you muy tell the lady, who ever she may be, that there is abso lutely no truth In her statement. I might have known it was some cack ling old woman that spread such a re port, and, as you have helped in spreading It, I must ask you to contra dict it at once." "I say, look here, Dalton, old chap," put in one of the other men, "are you sure you never led the lady to suppose she was engaged to you? Very likely she spread the report herself, hoping to clinch the matter. I was served that way myself once at Malta, but luckily the regment was leaving and I flatter myself I got out of the whole thing rather neatly." "How? The Information may be use ful to me, if that is the way we guile less men are caught," this remark from the youngest sub. present." "Well, it was like this: I had flirted with the girl a good bit, I suppose, un til our names got coupled together. Then some one asked her If we were engaged, and she tacitly allowed it to be supposed we were. One day, not long after, we were togother at the Gover nor's ball, and at supper she turned to me and said, loud enough to be heard by every one, 'Do you know what peo ple are saying? They say that you and I are engaged.' 'But we know better,' I ansewered, also loud enough to be heard by everybody. By Jove, you should have soen that girl's face; It was a study, and upon my word even I felt sorry for her." At this point Capt. Dalton looked up quickly, and laughed, as if an idea bad Just occurred to him. "Thank you for the siTP""',iin," he ("Id. and turning on his i.i, he left the room, e Those few rnttjioken words were never said to Mollie, for manlike Capt. Dr.lton JumvP'! nt tho conclusion that the girl was tiylr.g to catch him. He forgot thnl i' "io is such a thing as mnlicioiiHl'- iTHUilatlng a ninn on, tila rumored cr.gngement. Daisy Ten' der-Cudllp la iSgw York Advertiser. HIS FIRST EXPERIENCE. Be Was a Trifle ftnshfnl and lldn't Know the Way. It was a self evident fiu-t that I wns rat tled. Any odo would Imvo boon. When my Inndlndy osonrted mo to the (lining room and introduced mo to her household oolleotlvoly nnd then loft mo stnndlng there like an ossified Idiot, with nut even deigning to show mo n seat, It both Angnred and rattled mo. I succeeded In concealing my 111 temper, but the fact t.hnt I wits rattled became painfully pntent. I nt down in tho first vacant seat nnd tried to look as if I was In the bosom of my family. The mnn opposite sympathetic-ally pro scribed tho olvctrlr.nl treatment for faclnl paralysis. Upon thinking this over calmly I am fumed tobollevo that he was attempt ing to guy mo. Thon a line of servants charged upon mo. Dishes wore prosonted on Ivnth sides, nnd tho boy hnndod the butter from the opposlto sldo of tho tnble. Tho dish on tho left contained onions. I loathe onions. That on tho right was an unknown quan tity. It looked like strowborry shortoako nnd smollod like hum. I was driven to the butter. Tho butter dish hnd n hnndlo that ro semblod a minlnturo Aro do Triomphe. In addition to this tho Ixittom moved around llko tho perforated interior of n soap dish. I gracefully Inserted tho butter knlfo under tho Aro do Triomphe nnd tried to slice off a piece of tho composition. Then a most mysterious thing occurred the in ner dish turnod as If on an Invlslblo axis and grocofully dumped tho butter into my neighbor's lap. Ho remarked, " I" and hurriedly left the room. This did not add to my oomposuro. I suddenly bocamo conscious of a pres ence in the room. Tho Inndlndy hnd re turned and wns stonily regarding tho re mains of tho butter. It wns a hot day, and I f oared that dur ing my struggtos I might have wilted my oollnr. I need not hnvo feared the atmos phere around me had become ohllly and remained so. I grew more rattled. I put a spoonful of sugar in my glans of Water. I inadvert ently appropriated my loft hand neighbor's ploco of broud which ho had laid down bo sldo his plate. This nngerud him. Ho mndo nil uncomplimentary remark about my chock. I felt that I wus blushing vio lently. I rubbed my pinto tho wrong way with my knife, and It "squlgglod." Every ono looked at me. My touguo began to thicken and my head to swim. A hand touched mo on the shoulder, and n voice said: "Beg pardon, but you aro occupying my seat." In desperation I pushed back my chnlr, partially overturning my right hand neigh bor arose collided with a waitress- causing her to Invert a dish of onions on a maiden's lady's corkscrew curlod head and rushed to tho door followed by several rather nasty remarks. I have sworn off on boarding houses. William James CofTla iu Life. Fast. "That pair of horses is all right," as sorted tho man in plaid trousers positively. "Sound oud kind? ' tho innocent pur chaser contlnuod, pursuing his crltlcul ex amination. "Sure." "And fast?" "Fasti Thoso hor3es will show you a 2:30 clip any day." So tho innocent purchaser bought them, but tho next morning hu was buck again, his hair curling in indignation. "Fast!" ho shrieked. "Did you not say they were fast?" Tho man In plaid trousers bowed. "Two-thirty horses, I think you said?" cried the innocent purchaser sarcastically. Tho man in pluld trousers bowed again. "Why, mnn," yelled tho innocent pur chaser, "I can't got 'em a mile in less than 11 vo minutes!" 'Well, ain't that 8:30 npleco?" retorted tho man In plaid trousers, his wrath blaz ing. "What you yowling rouud hero about?" Then the innocent purchaser enme to himself and got off tho premises. Ho real ized that if ho fell down there iu a fit the horso man would charge him hospital rates. New York Recorder. l'ure Friendship. Ho Do you know this question of street car utiquetto is getting to bo very compli cated? Hio How so? Ho Well, there wns a tlnio when It would have been considered n terrlblo of fense against mnuners for a man not to give up his seat to a woman. As it Is, women hnvo forced themselves Into an equality with men to Etich an extent that it lsu t required so much. Half of them don't even stop to thank ono. Hho Then you don't uhvnys glvo up your seat to a lady? Ho That depends. I discriminate. If she is young, pretty nnd rliarming, I al ways make an exception and offer my sent. bhu Oh, I soo. hut would you do iu my case? Ho That s different, iou nro a friend. Brooklyn Llfu. Ueneflclal KxercUe. Clara I have not seen Mr. Nloefullo with yon lately. Maud Ho is practicing at tho boat club. "I did not know he cared for rowing." "Ho doesn't, but ho joined a crew to pleaso me." "To pleaso you?" "Yes. I thought rowing would strength en his anus." New York Weekly. Art Note, First Lady (with largo conversational aperture) Can't you niako tho mouth a little smaller? Photographer Great Scott I Do you want a picture without any mouth at all? I'vo pared it down three inches already. Texas blftlugs. These Foolish Question. StlEfklns (iv neighbor) Hullo, Junes, what you doing? laying down a onrpetf Jones (who litis just whacked his thumb) -No, you blustod lillot; tho oiirpot wm bero when wo muvod In. I uiu just put ting tho floor under It. Truth, ALEXANDER BROTHERS & CO. DEALERS IN Cigars, Tobacco, Candies, Fruits and Nuts SOLS AGENTS FOR Henry Mail lard's Fine Candies. FreBli Every Week. :E3wi7-s: aoors .a. ss'ecxa.XjT'X". SOLE AGENTS FOR F.F. Adams & Co's Fine Cut Chewing Tobacco Sole agents for the following brands of Cigars- Hanry Clay, Londros, Normal, Indian Princoss, Samson, Silvor Ash Bloomsburg Pa. "Thrift is a good revenue." Great saving results from cleanli ness and Q 3) APOLIO B. F. Sharpless, Pres. BLOOMSBURG LAUD IMPROVEMENT COMPANY. Capital Stock, $30,000. Plotted property is in the coming business centre of the town. It includes also part of the factory district, and has no equal in desirability for residence purposes. CHOICE LOTS are offered at values that will be doubled in a short time. No such opportunity can be had elsewhere to make money. Lots secured on SMALL MONTHLY PAYMENTS- Maps of the town and of plotted property furnished on ap plication. Call upon or write to the Secretary, or J. S. "Woods, Sales Agent, or any member of the Board of Directors. BOARD OF DIRECTORS. B. F. Sharpless; J. L Dillon. C. W. Neil, A. O. Briggs, Dr. I. W. Willits, Dr. II. W. McReynolds, N. D. Funk. 1 1-19- Ni-i T HE POSITIVE CURE EitOTlIERS. C Warren 8U, New York. Price GO cU. THE SOUTH CENTRAL CONSOLIDATED GOLD MINING AND MILLING CO. (INLl)lil'Ol(ATED.) CAPITAL STOCK - - $2,000,000. Shares i oo each, I-"uM Halcl and Nun-AHttesHable. (Issued la payment for this Company's Mines.) Gonoral Offices. 712-713 National Bank of Commerce Building, Broadway and Olivor St., ST. LOUIS, MO. TREASURY RESERVE STOCK, $300,000. In Shares of 1.00 IC.ich, Full GOLD. MoitKuno Co., (ATT111 iltlZUO CAPITAL, $1,300,000), St. Louis. The Mines are PRODUCERS, and will beWorked for Dividends. A limited nuinher of shares ot the Company's Sreasury stock will now be sold to hist appli cants, iu the older received, at the price of i2j CENTS A SHARE. Certain to advance and yield ten to hundred fold and over, on this price. SMALL JUDICIOUS INVESTMENT OFTEN BRINGS A FORTUNE.., NOW IS THE TIME TO Ul'Y. The stock will be listed, and price advance rapl ilv. TliCoin pnny's consolidated mines have very large Ore Unserves. U Is desired to erect a Stamp Mill, to reduce the Company's ore to llullton. THE OUT PUT ot Company's Mines will ho Increased to tho DIVIDEND bask, as fully demonstrated by ltepuris and statements on Mo. Complete lteports and Statements sent on application. Ammt Address application for shares lOTrramirerMoulli Central CotiMolulatert fSIcl Mlmiiu: ami Mllliut;c'u., 71a He 714 Xittioi-ul lluuk of Commerce tttdu;., Hi. Louis, Mo. Mil I I ISZ iAN-ANTIDOTE - -TRY IT AND 5EET0UR.&T0RE WITH CUSTOMERS. N. U. Funk, Sec. C. II. Campbell, Treas. ism - Paid nnd Non-Acsessal.le. Controls a Rich Group of Ten Gold Mines, Located Iu Carttou MIiiUik I!trlct, Owjliee County, Idaho; a district which has produced OVEll 840,000.000,00. Ol'TICEHS AND DIHKCTOltS. riiKKinxsT Col. V. II. Itrother. cnpltallst and lieal Estate Owner: and of V. II. llroihcrs Co., HootVrH, t. I.ouls. VicB 1'fKS'T Capt. J A. Ware, liallmad Contractor, St. Louis. 2d " Win. K. Wernse, President Guarantee Loua and Mort gage Company St. Louis. fKCKKTAKY Win. Tine, ot Wm. Tlrre & Sons and Tlrro Coal Co , St. l.miU: also I'res't I'rlnee Arthur Mlulnu Co., (fold Mines. Ash't bKc'v K. A, W'eruse, t'usliler Guarantee Loan and Mortgago Co., St. Louis. Victor Niisli .uin, Merchant Tailor, C!veland Ohio. .1. II. KhriiUeH, or lllmudes, Kenney x Hpencc, Hartford City, Ind. Three other Director rct-lde at the Mines. Tlfli VSl'KKU AMI TKANSKKU A(; KNT T'.ifl Oimr.lnten I.onn nnd f We want, several good agent h. Will pav LAUGK f CASH commissions and some stock, on which DIVIDENDS will be GUARANTEED. EBUSINESS. DULL . . U7ITM- -rT 1 W J! DVfej5Tl&lN(ir tOR-.DULl.NE55. vown Acme, Tho best burning oil that can be made from petro leum. It gives a brilliant lic,ht. . It will not moke the chimneys. It will not char the wick. It ha high fire teat. It will not explode. It Is pre-eminently a family safety oil. We Challenge Comparison with any other illuminating oil made. We stake our Reputation, as Refiners upon the statement that it is T3io Bes t Oil IN THE WORLD, ASK YOUR DEAL.ER FOR. Crown - Acme aj in liiiiniv 11 ui 1 11 mm vvi BLOOMSBURG STATION, BLOOM SBUPG, TA THE MARKETS. BLOOMSBURG MARKETS. 0ORRI0TID WIIILT. RITAIL rRICIl. Butter per lb $ .iS Eggs per dozen .16 Lard per lb .12A Ham per pound 12A Pork, whole, per pound .00 Beef, quarter, per pound . , 07 to .10 Wheat per bushel .80 Oats " " 45 Rye " " 65 Wheat flour per bbl 4.20 Hay per ton S oo Potatoes per bushel .80 Turnips " " 25 Onions " " 1.00 Sweet potatoes per peck 95 to .30 Tallow per lb 4 Shoulder " " .u Side meat " " 10 Vinegar, per qt .07 Dried apples per lb . , . .05 Dried cherries, pitted , ,u Raspberries .14 Cow Hides per lb .3 J Steer " " " 05 CalfSkin 80 Sheep pelts. .. , .75 Shelled corn per bus, .75 Corn meal, cwt a. 00 Bran, " i,20 Chop " 1.35 Middlings " 1.25 Chickens per lb new ,ia " " "old 2a Turkeys " " iS Geese " " .10 Ducks " " 10 COAL. No. 6, delivered a. 40 " 4 and 5 " 3 50 " 6 at yard a.25 " 4 and s at yard 3.25 l,.T',r I P TDnr rCAVtMI 0, InMUL MAKKS i uri rvlun 1 d. CA I OBTAIN A PATENT 1 For a Rrnmpt answer and an honot opinion, write to I I ISN A- CO., who have bad nearly flftr years' experience In the patent business. Cotnmuniua lions strictly confidential. A llnndbouk of lu formation concerning 1'nrrtitn and bow to ob tain them sent free. Also a catalogued mechan ical and scientific books seut free. Patents tuken through Munn ft Co. recelra special notloetn tbe Ki lentlllc Amrrii nii. and thus are brousht widely before the public with out cost to tbe Inventor. This splendid paper. Issued weekly, eleeautly Illustrated, bas by far tlie largest circulation of any scientific work In tlio world. 8 J a year. Sample copies sent free. Building Edition, monthly, (2.60 a year. 8ingla copies, t.i com. Every number contains beau tiful plates. In colors, and photographs of new nouses, wltb plans, euubling builders to sbow the talent designs and secure contracts. Address Jll .N.V ft CO MltW l'OMK, ijtil BUOADWAT. rtinmnuunau Glass! iCLuick! I There'! lota of una p and I vim In this H i km Hires I of p'euHire ! kuo l. , neaiiii in It. loo. A ue- lOOT BEEBj llclous drink, a temper tiuule drink, a drink thfit rlelitrtitu tltA nlll and young. He re and gut tUo Genuine HIRES'Roota 1 It wnt pickai, makes 6 IUm. tult sTsryv&ws. THE CHA8. E. HIRES COMPAfcY. PHILADELPHIA, PA. iiiiniiiiiiiiiiimiiti """tmiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii11 tt-Hf, steel. naeFino (ujrnuii,irj,ir ''aiint.y Komi for TUe I'ei.ii Iron Konlli-ir iind Tur-.A riicnh une tfliun to. i l.w. .. ri.ll i., l'a. of prluts. hoi'i lU'r, SUBSCRIBE FOR ' THE COLUMBIAN